Devil's Playground
by twofacedharveydent
Summary: "Sometimes you have to just sit back and watch people destroy themselves." Bird's own words after watching her biological mother die. Little did she know that apparently it was something she'd inherited. Maybe that's just part of the madness of life; even when someone gives you a way out, you just can't bring yourself to take it, not even to save your own life. • Season 3 •
1. Tell the World I'm Coming Home

**I - Tell the World I'm Coming Home**

 _It is a big world, full of things that steal your breath and fill your belly with fire...But where you go when you leave isn't as important as where you go when you come home."- Lindsay Eagar, Hour of the Bees_

* * *

 **•••**

As the mechanism inside of the lock on her front door released with a familiar click, Bird pulled her key from the slot and pushed open the door to her townhouse.

The setting sun to her back cast a stretched out the shadow of her body down the entrance hallway past where she stood frozen in place.

"Bird?" Her driver questioned.

"Hmm?" She hummed, pulled from her thoughts at the sound of her name.

"Your bags?" He repeated, wondering where she wanted them at.

"Oh, just, uh…" She breathed, seeming frazzled as she finally stepped over the threshold inside of her house and flipped on the lights, "Just leave them in here."

She stood in place off to the side, watching as he lugged her travel bags inside, all seven of them to be exact.

Which was precisely six more than she'd left town with.

With a nod of thanks, she wished him a nice night and shut the door behind him as he left.

She'd kicked her heels off somewhere down the hallway as she made her way into the kitchen and flicked the lights on in there. Her eyes were immediately drawn to something shiny that reflected the bright lighting from above laid out on the kitchen island.

Her heart sank when she realized it was a set of keys; the keys to her house.

At what during the two months she was gone did Jim finally give up the hope of her coming back and separate those keys from the others he owned?

Walking over to the refrigerator, she opened it to reveal a few leftover bottles from his brand of beer.

Then she headed for the stairs, walking at a slower than usual pace until she reached the master bedroom they'd shared.

One of the doors to the spacious walk-in closet stood wide open.

Like a ghost had been there; a poltergeist rattling doorknobs and leaving all the cabinets open.

Jim's clothes were gone.

Despite her owning no less than four times the amount he did and the absence of his belongings being relatively small in the larger picture, it was the vacancy of what was his that left the closet looking and feeling empty.

A walk around the bathroom made the house even emptier; gone were his electric razor and the near empty bottle of cologne she'd grown accustomed to seeing on the counter.

Jim wasn't there, probably hadn't been for quite some time now -and yet there were still traces of him everywhere.

His brand of beer.

The bottle of his body wash still in the shower.

A charging cable to his phone still plugged into the outlet next to the bed.

Bird found those little goodbyes all over the house that night.

Small reminders of how things used to be; of the life that was.

A time capsule of sorts.

No wonder Jim left, she thought; he must have felt her ghost there still haunting him in the days after she'd taken off.

And now here she stood alone in the figurative rubble of what she'd left behind.

Wondering at which point in the last sixty days he'd finally give up on her.

It had been six months since they'd went after Hugo Strange and nearly all lost their lives inside of Arkham.

That was when they'd first confessed their love for one another and later diffused a bomb which saved countless lives.

That was six months ago.

26 weeks.

182 days.

4,380 hours.

262,800 minutes.

15,768,000 seconds.

Approximately, of course.

Bird knew this because she'd looked it up on her way back to Gotham on her new phone.

Trying to pinpoint the moment where everything had gone wrong, but some tasks are far too impossible to accomplish and this was one of them.

It wasn't any one single moment.

No span of seconds grouped into minutes.

It wasn't abrupt; more like the tarnishing of once fine silver.

A slow decay.

Two months.

8 weeks.

60 days.

1460 hours.

87,600 minutes.

5,256,000 seconds.

Approximately, since the night she'd packed a bag and left town.

Since she stood on the bridge staring across the dark water to the illuminated city skyline at night.

In the same spot she'd stood with Falcone once before and declared Gotham her home as she'd chose to stay.

She wasn't sure why she'd stopped there by the bridge two months ago.

Her lungs had collected enough of the city's stale air to last lifetimes after all.

Maybe she thought there would be something there to keep her leaving this time around too.

After all, she had more to lose now, but she couldn't stay.

So she sent a group text to Jim, Oswald and her secretary Charmaine -letting them know she was leaving town.

That she had to go but didn't want them to worry about her.

She'd typed it all out; which really only equaled out to a few lines on the screen, distorted under the droplets of tears that had splashed onto her phone.

Then she hit send, exhaled for what felt like the first time in so long and threw her phone into the river.

-And then she got back in the car and left the city lights to fade in the rear-view.

 **••• flashback •••**

"Stop it!" Bird yelled.

Wriggling out of Jim's arms she pushed him back away from her, but not before he'd managed to snatch the glove off of her left hand.

Quickly spinning around, she turned away from him and looked down to her injured hand, then cradled it against her stomach.

"Let me see it." Jim's voice had quieted significantly since the screaming match they'd been in for the last several minutes.

"It's fine." She cleared her throat and tried to steady her breathing, but her chest was heaving up and down, "I'm fine. It's -it's nothing. I'm fine."

"Bird." His voice was even softer now as he stepped up behind her and reached out to gently lay a hand on her shoulder, but hesitated.

For the last few months she'd become increasingly uncomfortable with him touching her.

Letting out the breath he'd been holding, he walked around to try and face her, but she turned away from him again.

"Come on." Jim said, laying his hand on her upper arm and feeling her body tense from the contact, "Let me see."

Defeated, Bird took her time in turning back around to face him.

"It's nothing-"

She tried to excuse again, but he'd taken hold of her hand and was already inspecting the injuries.

The skin on her middle finger and her thumb had rubbed off, both digits had open wounds that looked like they were on the verge of getting infected.

"It's not nothing." Jim argued, keeping hold of her hand so she couldn't just walk away from him again.

They stared at each other in silence.

Him wanting to know why she's been hurting herself; all while she looked more lost by the second.

The last few months had been rocky between them, to say the least.

She'd been keeping something from him.

At first, he'd thought it had something to do with her and her brother trying to find out about the clandestine organization they'd learned of the night they'd all went into Arkham after Hugo Strange; the night the professor tried to set off a nuclear bomb, but now he wasn't so sure.

He knew of her past.

The sexual assault she'd lived through as a teenager and so he was always mindful of the trauma.

Knowing better than to take it personally if she flinched away from his touch at times.

But it really hadn't been an issue at the beginning of their relationship. She'd seemed to have worked through most of it before they got together.

Then gradually she'd start to freeze when he'd touch her and refused to talk about it when prompted.

Her compulsion to keep items in sets of threes had spiraled and over the last month, she'd snap at him for moving anything in the house away from the spot she'd placed it in.

She was nearly impossible to be around on a day-to-day basis now.

Flying from one emotional extreme to the next and back so fast it gave him whiplash.

Bird was drowning.

And Jim felt like he was just standing on the shore watching the waves pull her under deeper.

He wanted to help her, but he didn't have a clue where to start.

It was close to a month ago that he'd noticed she seemed to pick up a new nervous tick.

She'd started to rub her finger and thumb together absentmindedly.

Pretty soon she was wearing gloves around the clock and he had a feeling it must have gotten rather gruesome lately because she refused to let him see her without gloves on.

He'd just had to physically wrestle it off of her.

"Bird!" Jim loudly said as she tried to jerk out of his grip, "Why are you hurting yourself."

"I'm not!" She screamed back, forcefully jerking away from him.

Looking down to her hand, she sighed in defeat.

"Not on purpose."

"I'm…" She stammered, "I'm doing good things. The shelters opened and we're getting women and children off the streets. Since I took over the community outreach chair at Wayne Enterprises, we've raised twice as much money and funneled it back into the community to those in need. I'm good at my job-"

Her breathing had grown ragged, she had to stop talking and gasp for air.

"I know you are." Jim nodded.

He knew how seriously she'd taken her position within the company.

"You don't understand!" She argued, shaking her head frantically back and forth.

"Then tell me." He pleaded, carefully stepping closer to her, "Help me to understand."

Honesty weighed in his voice, "Because I don't know what to do here."

She looked up; her eyes locking with his as a sad smile turned up a single corner of her mouth.

Running her tongue over her chapped lips, she spread the bitter taste in her mouth around.

Of course, he didn't understand.

How could he?

"I'm not like you." She managed to say, trying to sort out the thoughts racing through her mind.

She couldn't remember the last time she'd slept for more than twenty minutes at once.

She'd had heart palpitations for days on end, making her all too well aware of how unsteady the beat had been.

Sometimes it was a struggle to force air into her lungs.

Knowing she was falling apart only made the reality of it that much harder to swallow.

It's one thing to spiral into a breakdown, but it's a different thing entirely to feel the whole downfall.

Watching your own feet moving you closer to the edge.

Step by step.

Ever closer to falling off a ledge and somehow being completely unable to stop yourself.

"What?" Jim's voice was airy.

Breathless even.

"I'm not wired the same, Jim." Bird's entire body seemed to shrink at least a few inches.

Slouched in complete defeat.

Up until this very moment in time, she'd thought she could get herself back on track.

Tomorrow.

That's what she'd been saying for a month now.

That tomorrow would be different.

… Only it never was.

"You see someone hurting and you want to help them. Your first instinct is to protect other people-"

"What does this have to do with anything?" Jim asked.

His tongue growing dry from how long he'd kept his mouth open waiting for a response.

"My job requires me to be like that. To think like a normal person." Bird explained, "But I'm not. I'm not normal. I have to work at it."

Seeing the stunned and confused expression on his face, Bird looked up at the bright light on the ceiling and tried to focus in an attempt to keep any tears from spilling out.

"I care about you and my brother and the few friends I have and then beyond that…" Her voice trailed off, "Beyond that, I have to work at it."

The confusion fled his eyes and their blue hues took on a different expression entirely.

Fear, maybe?

With a sense of dread?

Bird wasn't sure.

"Work at it how?" Jim questioned.

"By remembering." Bird admitted, a single tear breaking free and making a line down her cheek, "By remembering what it felt like to be helpless. To be fragile and human and broken."

Another tear joined in the same trail the first one had left and she pinned her eyes shut so tightly her entire face ached.

Jim watched her, his mouth agape yet again.

He'd gotten the answer he'd been asking for.

Complete honesty.

Now all the cards were on the table.

Every strange behavior she'd had for the last month clicking into place and finally it all made sense.

Every last bit of it.

His gaze fell to the floor, unsure of what to say in response.

Slowly, his eyes lifted, but on their way to her face, he caught sight of her left hand.

Down at her side as she rubbed her finger and thumb together repeatedly.

Drops of blood splashed onto the hardwood floor by her feet, but she didn't seem to be aware of it.

It was as if she couldn't even feel the pain she was inflicting on herself.

"I'm sorry." He breathed, walking up to her once again and taking hold of her hand -only this time it was to stop her from causing more damage, "I didn't know… I should have figured it out, but I didn't and that's my fault."

This might not have been what he'd expected, but he wasn't going to give up.

He wasn't about to walk away from the woman he loved.

The person who'd refused to give up on him when he'd been in Blackgate; during the times he'd given up on himself.

The one who'd stood beside him at his darkest moments.

He knew he didn't say it enough, but Bird meant the world to him.

And now that they were on the same page.

Now that he knew what had sent her hurling towards a breakdown, they'd fix it.

They'd tackle the problem together.

The same way they'd faced down everything for months on end now.

"I don't know what to do." Bird spoke.

The admission sounded foreign in her own voice.

"We'll figure it out." Jim promised her.

Reaching around and pulling her against him, he held her snugly in his embrace.

He knew how much she hated breaking down. The way she'd just do just about anything to keep from crying in front of other people -even him.

"We'll figure it out." He repeated.

His hand cradled the back of her head as she slumped against him.

Giving up the fight and letting him hold them both up.

"First." He began, "You need to take some time off work-"

The words had barely left his mouth before Bird shot them down.

"No." Her voice as muffled against his shirt, "I can't do that."

If there was one thing she'd been aware of since her first day on the job, it was that many people were waiting for her to fail.

It would be a win for them if she gave even the slightest hint of not being fit and capable enough to do all she was expected to.

"You can't keep doing this to yourself." Jim argued, his arms tightening some as he felt her trying to pull away from him, "I can't keep watching you do this yourself."

"Then leave."

Her words came out etched in ice.

Carved with the sharpest of blades.

Getting both hands between them, she pushed him back enough to break free of the embrace.

"If you don't want to be here then go!" Her voice raised, breathing changed and he saw her cheeks growing flushed.

"That's not what I meant!" He tried to get her to listen to him, but it was useless now.

Anything else he said would be fruit of the poisonous tree.

Tainted by having convinced herself that he meant something entirely different from what he was actually trying to say.

If Bird had mastered anything, it was the art of pushing people away and convincing herself that she'd be better off on her own.

But isolating herself only served to send her deeper down into the pits of despair.

"I want to be here." Jim didn't mince his words, hoping that he could somehow push through the walls she'd suddenly put up, "I want to be here." He repeated, "I want you-"

"Fine." Bird dismissed, her formally frantic tone of voice had now lowered to an eerily calm, "You stay. I'll go."

 **••• present day •••**

"Why can't we see the escapee?" A reporter questioned, stepping to the head of the crowd gathered in the GCPD headquarters.

"Because crews are still picking up the pieces." Captain Barnes answered.

With one hand on his cane and the other on the railing of the interior balcony overlooking the first floor of the police station.

It had taken months of hospitalization and physical therapy, but he'd finally been approved to get back to work.

Though physically chasing the bad guys and kicking in doors would likely be a thing of the past.

He was told there would be lasting and probable permanent complications from the severe wounds he'd sustained the night Azrael had attacked the station.

He'd expected to have a rough go of it when came back to work, but this was far beyond what he could have imagined.

The entire city was on edge knowing that Arkham escapees were running loose -especially considering most of them looked the part of monsters straight from nightmares; thanks to Professor Strange's experiments.

"This isn't the first time that a bounty hunter has apprehended an escapee. Is the GCPD incapable of handling this threat themselves?" Another reporter pointed out, their pen already pressing into the pad of paper awaiting a response.

Bird made her way through the back of the crowd of reporters and concerned citizens until she found a spot by an unattended desk towards the rear of the room.

"Only a handful of these escapees have been brought in by bounty hunters. The vast majority were apprehended by GCPD." Barnes immediately was defensive at the insinuation that his officers weren't able to keep Gotham City safe.

The reporters were only allowed a few more questions before Mayor James stepped forward from where he'd been standing behind Barnes' and addressed the crowd himself on how there should be confidence in the GCPD.

But also that if everyday citizens wanted to help out then, of course, they'd be rewarded monetarily.

"Bird."

Glancing over when she heard her name, she offered up a smile as she saw Butch walking towards her.

"Butch, hey." She greeted.

"When did you get back?" He questioned.

"Last night." Bird answered, "I thought I might find Jim here, but…"

Her voice trailed off into a sigh as she looked around the station but didn't see him anywhere.

"Gordon?" Butch repeated back with a lazy shrug, "Might catch him here picking up a check now and then. I think it was him who caught the Arkham guy last night."

"He's one of the bounty hunters they're talking about?" Bird's eyebrows lowered.

When she'd gotten back to town and saw that he'd moved out of her townhouse, she'd assumed he'd gotten his job back with GCPD.

Though now she knew that wasn't the case.

"Hell…" Butch breathed, "Five thousand a pop. I'm surprised there aren't more people out there trying to get a quick payday."

It took him a small while until he was able to read the expression on her face and see how thrown off she seemed by the news.

"You didn't know?" He realized.

"No." She cleared her throat and waved a dismissive hand through the air, "I just figured after I left that he'd go back to being a detective-"

"You're tellin' me you didn't keep an eye on him?" Butch's filter between his brain and mouth faltered as he brought up, "You rigged Dent's house with cameras after the two of you called it quits."

"That was different." She quickly and harshly defended.

She hadn't checked on anyone since she left town.

For those two months she hadn't spoken to anyone in Gotham, it was just better that way.

It was easier not to miss her life there if she didn't keep constant reminders around of everything she'd left behind.

"What are you doing here anyway?" Bird asked as she looked back over at him.

"Oh, I'm here with Penguin." He explained, nodding over to the side.

Leaning forward to see around him, Bird caught sight of her best friend, he was standing by the exit, his suit flawless as usual and he was trying out a new hairstyle,

His intense eyes were locked back on her, face tensed into a scowl.

"He's giving me the murder eyes." Bird sighed and leaned back to where she'd been standing.

She'd expected some static when she got back to the city, but she'd hoped at the very least that someone would be happy to see her again.

"He'll get it over it." Butch assured her, "It's mainly this Fish coming back to life business that's got him so rattled."

"Still?" She asked, getting a nod from Butch in response.

The night that Bird and Jim had stopped the bomb from going off, Fish Mooney had stolen a bus to escape and it turned out the bus was filled with Strange's monsters.

That same night Oswald had gone after the bus planning to exact revenge on Strange for how he'd messed with his head in Arkham, but had found Fish instead.

He'd been so sure the moment he saw her face again that she was going to kill him for what he'd done to her, but she hadn't.

She left him alive and it had made Oswald ever the more paranoid about what her motives must be.

"And the fact you told him you were leaving town in the same text you sent your secretary." Butch added.

"I had to leave." Bird defended her actions, "And I couldn't come to say bye to him in person, because I'd have changed my mind."

He'd have begged her to stay, she knew he wasn't above sending her on guilt trips or trying to manipulate her to get what he wanted and she wasn't even going to chance that.

"Why is Hugo Strange the only one who's been arrested?"

"What about the rumors that Indian Hill is a Wayne Enterprise facility?"

"And how many more of these escapees are at large?"

Bird's attention was pulled back to the sea of reporters firing questions at the mayor -yet no one would let him get a word in to answer.

"The situation is firmly in hand!" Mayor James finally yelled over the noise.

"Liar!" Oswald shouted.

When everyone turned around to see who was yelling, Oswald stepped forward and the crowd parted for him.

Cameras flashes momentarily blinded him and the T.V crews pushed their microphones in his direction.

Pausing for both the pictures and for dramatic effect, he then started to walk through where the floor had opened for him, "My name is Oswald Cobblepot-"

"We know who you are Penguin." Barnes loudly exclaimed, "What do you want?"

"What do I want?" He echoed, "I want you to tell the truth to the people of Gotham."

Turning slightly to get a better view of the crowd and glancing over to see Bird again, he continued, "They would have us believe there is no danger, but I was there the night those creatures broke out of Indian Hill. I saw them and I saw who's leading them."

He made his way towards to the front of the room as he spoke until a reporter stepped in his way and asked, "Are you saying the escapees are organized?"

"Hello!" He called out sarcastically, "Yes, that's what I'm saying."

"There is absolutely nothing to support that theory." Mayor James acted quickly to try and shut that topic of discussion down.

"I told the police who to look for!" Oswald cried out with such conviction he was practically shaking where he stood, "I begged them time and again and they have done nothing! So now I am here to speak directly to the good people of Gotham."

Turning around he stood just in front of the platform where Barnes and the mayor were, he faced down the crow of reporters and announced, "The enemy's name is Fish Mooney."

A low gasp spread through the room and Barnes' pointed out, "Mooney? She hasn't been seen in close to six months. She's either long gone or she's dead."

With a bitter laugh, Oswald replied, "I wish I shared your simple belief."

Immediately spinning back to face the reporters, he added, "She is a criminal. She is a murderer. And now God knows what kind of monster Hugo Strange has turned her into. I implore every citizen of Gotham; if you love your family, if you love your children… find Fish Mooney. Until then no one is safe."

By the end of his plea, you could have heard a pin drop anywhere in the station, the room was in utter silence. The reporters hanging on his every word.

With a smirk, Bird shook her head and whispered, "Well played, Oswald. Well played."

It was brilliant really to set the entire city on a witch hunt for their former boss.

There was no rock she'd be able to hide under without being seen after the news that night and the papers the next morning.

Having said his piece, Oswald made his way around the now buzzing crowd -leaving behind a very pissed off Mayor James to deal with them.

"Hey." Butch said as he nudged Bird's arm and nodded towards the far set of stairs leading down from where the captain's office was.

"What-" Bird started to ask until she saw what, more like who, he was pointing out; it was Jim.

With an appreciative nod to Butch, she turned and started to push her way through the tail end of the crowd to make her way over in his direction; still not entirely sure what to say to him yet.

A fact that eventually brought her to a stop before she made it all the way over to him.

Butch walked past her to meet back up with Oswald.

"Hello, Jim." Oswald greeted him.

"Oswald." Jim answered with a sigh; as if he had far more important things to do then stand there and speak to him.

"I'm surprised you haven't caught Mooney. I hear you're quite the bounty hunter these days." He said with a smile.

"You haven't made it worth my while." Jim countered, glancing over at him before he turned to leave.

"Ooh, tough guy now." Butch taunted, but Jim didn't stop.

He didn't turn around or look back -until he heard what Oswald said next.

"Bird." Oswald finally spoke to his best friend who he noticed seemed to be hanging back away from them. His guess was she was about to turn and flee in the opposite direction right before he said anything, "Happy to be home?"

Bird's eyes moved from where Oswald was smirking at her to where Jim had stopped just steps away from the exit.

"I don't know yet." Bird finally answered his question.

"Let me know how that turns out." He said in a snippy tone before calling on Butch to follow him.

When Bird looked back to Jim she saw he'd finally turned back to look her way.

"Hi." Bird finally said when all other words or thoughts seemed to evade her at the moment.

His eyes locked with hers, his forehead lined as he answered back, "Hi."

The eye contact was brief, Jim was the one who broke it first, looking away from her with a pained expression on his face.

It took her longer to look away from him.

He looked different than when she'd last seen him.

His usually clean-shaven face was a little scruffy, his hair was combed back and a little longer then she remembered, he was even wearing a black leather jacket.

Apparently wanting to look the part of the rogue bounty hunter he was playing.

And if it wasn't for the brokenness in his expression she'd have thought it was a good look on him.

"How-" Bird started to ask before she cleared her throat and took a few steps closer, "How are you?"

"Great." He answered back with a smile that was all teeth and no emotion.

And unlike Bird, he stayed where he was standing and didn't make an attempt to move any closer.

"Really?" One of her eyebrows darted upwards.

"Really." He answered back with a tone just as empty as the smile.

"You, uh…" She stepped even closer and lowered her voice, "You always carry a flask around in your pocket when you're doing so great?"

His eyes darted up from the floor to her face, but before he could even question how she knew, she raised a hand and gently patted the pocket where the metal flask was.

With a small shrug, she answered the question he hadn't asked, "Lucky guess."

He'd started drinking more and more when things started to go downhill between them.

She hadn't missed the change when he'd gone from a few beers a night to seven and then onto the hard stuff not long before she'd taken off.

"You sure you're okay?" Bird pushed.

Knowing that neither of them wanted to have this conversation inside the police station, but she'd have settled for angry stares and flared nostrils over barren smiles.

He stared back at her, wondering where she'd been for the last two months, but not having it in him to care enough to ask.

Her skin was lightly tanned, the freckles spanning her nose darker than he remembered and her hair looked a little lighter.

He deduced she'd probably been on a beach somewhere.

Must be nice to just take off on a vacation like that.

He couldn't bite back the bitter taste on his tongue.

There was so much he wanted to say to her, but not a word of it would come out.

"See you around, Bird." Jim finally said.

He didn't even give her a chance to reply before he turned and left.

Closing her eyes, she blew out a breath and rubbed her face, running her hands through her hair before resting them on her neck.

She thought she'd prepared herself for this situation.

Part of her reservations about returning to Gotham was the fear that maybe the people she left behind wouldn't want her back.

But she'd tried to chase those thoughts away.

Hoping that at the very least they'd be happy she was doing better than when she left; that maybe they could understand why she had to go and give her a chance to set things right.

"What are you doing?"

Hearing Bullock's voice, Bird let her arms fall to her sides and turned to face him.

She readied herself for one of his signature smart-ass remarks, figuring he'd take a few jabs at her to make up for lost time.

Instead, he just stared back at her; either really expecting an answer or waiting for her to figure something out, she wasn't sure which.

"I'm standing here…" She lamely answered.

"Yeah, crazy eyes." Bullock nodded, "I can see that."

"What-" She started to ask him what he wanted, but didn't get the chance when he kept talking.

"Why are ya standing here, huh?" He continued, "Aren't you gonna go after him?"

"And say what?" Bird questioned with an exasperated laugh.

"I don't know." His face scrunched up, "You figure it out. I got to work to do."

Taking a few steps backward, while holding onto the open sides of his suit jacket he gave a shrug and said, "How about… I'm sorry for running off and staying gone for literally months…"

"Shut up, Bullock."

With a feigned look of hurt, he put a hand over his heart; playing like she'd hurt him before he turned and headed back up the stairs.

When Bird stepped outside, she looked down both sides of the sidewalk, towards the left she saw someone in dark color jacket for a split second before they were out of sight.

Pulling in a breath, she didn't waste another second in chasing after them.

Once she, herself, rounded the corner and confirmed it was, in fact, Jim that she'd seen, she called out to him, but he kept walking.

"Jim!" She yelled again, jogging the last of the distance between them and catching the sleeve of his jacket to stop him.

When he faced her, she realized how much it felt like a role reversal after all of the times he'd tried to catch up with her and she'd walk off and blatantly ignore him.

Of course, that was before they got closer; before the bond turned romantic.

"I'm sorry." Bird blurted out and caught her breath, "I didn't plan to be gone for so long."

"You told me you were leaving through a text message, Bird." He reminded her, shaking his head from side-to-side, "I had no idea where you were. You wouldn't answer any of my calls-"

"I didn't have a phone." Bird interrupted, "I threw it in the river before I left town."

"And that's supposed to make it better?"

"No." She replied, "Or maybe, I don't know."

"It doesn't." Jim stated.

"I know you're mad at me." Bird blinked before trying to catch his line of sight when she asked, "Can we just talk?"

"Talk?" He repeated back.

"Or maybe you can at least stop repeating what I say back to me like it's the stupidest thing you've ever heard?" She countered.

"No, it's just…" He breathed, "Now, you want to talk. Not in all that time, you know before you ran off when I was trying to get you to talk to me. That was asking too much, but now you're back and now you want to talk?"

When she didn't say anything back, he made up an excuse, "Maybe some other time. I'm kinda busy."

Jim started to turn and walk away but hesitated when he caught the look on her face.

Almost as if she was shocked that he didn't feel like talking to her.

"What did you expect?" He stepped forward, "You'd come back and everything would go back to the way it was?"

"No." She was adamant about that.

Running her tongue over her lips, she gave a weak shrug and rawly admitted, "I just thought…"

Her jaw tensed as she bit back the rest of the sentence.

He was either still too hurt and angry to really hear her or he actually didn't care anymore.

This time when he started to walk away she stopped him immediately, "Jim, wait!"

"What?" He questioned in a tone of voice that made her feel like she was inconveniencing his entire day by just being there.

"I just wanted to tell you…" Her voice trailed off again; she wasn't entirely sure the sentence was headed when she'd started it.

What could she even say at this point?

She could tell him how she still loved him. How she missed him every single day that she was gone. How her chest physically hurt from being there with him, but not actually being with him.

There were no shortage of confessions she could make in that moment; any of them would at least be a start at maybe getting things back to how they were.

But instead, she explained, "Bruce has a meeting at Wayne Enterprises tomorrow morning and there's a chance the people behind everything at Indian Hill could come after all of us."

"I can handle myself." He pointed out.

Eyeing her, he doubted that was what she'd originally chased him down for.

"I know. I just thought I should give you a heads up so you can be extra cautious." She struggled to offer up a wavering smile with her words.

"Yeah." Jim eyed her one last time, "Thanks."

 **•••**

"Are you nervous about tomorrow?" Bird guessed as she handed her little brother a cup of hot tea and took a seat next to him on the couch in her living room.

"Yes." Bruce admitted as he wrapped his hands around the warm glass mug and watched her from the side of his eye as she tucked her legs up underneath her and sat sideways to face him better.

"Truthfully I am too." Bird blew out a breath and took a small sip of her own tea; immediately regretting it when it singed the tip of her tongue.

Making a face she added, "But it's the only way to draw these people out. We haven't been able to find them, so we'll have to wait for them to find us."

Tomorrow was an important meeting with the board of Wayne Enterprises.

Bruce was going to say he'd uncovered information on the group running the company and that he's prepared to turn it over to the federal government.

It was a bluff, of course.

In reality, they didn't have much in the way of actual evidence; more like conspiracy theories.

But word would surely get back to the cabal and they'd seek the siblings out.

He hadn't been able to stop his mind from going back the night they'd all nearly met their fate six months ago when they'd gone after Strange.

When the gas seeped into the room, he thought it was toxic like Nygma had said; not that it was only something to knock them out.

He remembered losing the feeling in his legs, how hard the side of his face had hit the floor, the utter helplessness of it all.

But most of all he remembered the guilt of thinking he'd gotten everyone around him killed.

Lucius had told him that even if they did all die, that it wasn't his fault, they had all made their own decisions.

Ultimately, it hadn't made him feel much better, but it was growing increasingly clear that he was going to need to help and that asking for it was going to continually put the ones around him in peril.

"There is a chance they could kill us." Bruce stated the obvious.

"Ha." Bird bitterly chuckled to herself, speaking into the top of the cup she muttered, "And put me out of my misery? I'm not that lucky, little brother."

"What happened?" He questioned.

Bird looked over at him and slowly let out the air she'd been holding onto.

He and Alfred had left town shortly after the Arkham escape and while they'd stayed in contact, Bruce hadn't known about what happened or why she'd left town herself.

"You know how a couple months ago I let you know I was getting out of Gotham for a while?" She asked.

Leaning forward, Bruce set his tea down on the coffee table before he turned to face her and nodded, waiting for her to go on.

"What I didn't tell you is that things got pretty bad before I left…"

Her voice trailed off and she looked down to the scars on her finger and thumb where she'd previously developed a subconscious habit of rubbing them together.

"With you and Detective Gordon?" He guessed.

"Partly, but it was mainly me. After that night in Arkham, the truth serum, and everything… I don't know, I just hadn't felt entirely right since then. I had a lot going on at work too and Oswald was calling me around the clock and showing up all the time because he's been worried about Fish finding him. Jim and I were fighting all the time. And- and I wasn't sleeping, like at all. I was just stuck in this like endless terrible day." Pulling in a breath she paused for a moment.

"A while ago I did something." She opened up further, but didn't tell him she'd played a part in Lily's death, "And I lied to Jim about it and then I just kept lying about it and I felt so bad."

"Over what you did?" He tried to follow.

"No." She stated, "Over lying to him."

"What did you do?" Bruce asked though he knew she probably wouldn't tell him.

"It doesn't matter." She dismissed, "But Strange got into my head about it and it just made everything messier and soon this little pang of guilt for not being honest with Jim got worse. Turned into this crushing weight and I guess just mixed with everything else… it was a lot. It was too much."

"That's why you left." He realized.

"It was too much." Bird repeated, "I was still messed up from that night; still had Strange's voice in my head. Jim was miserable not being a cop, but he wouldn't go back to GCPD, he was always here at the house and started drinking more. Oswald was driving me crazy, constantly going on and on about Fish and I was there trying to make things better for everyone until I just couldn't anymore. So I left. I sent a text to a few people so they wouldn't worry first, but I still left."

"And now." She laughed, "When I let Charmaine know I was coming back to work, she hung up on me. Can you believe that? I could fire her, I won't but, my own secretary hung up on me. Oswald can't look at me without scowling. Jim's freezing me out and… I don't know, I guess I just thought someone might be happy to have me back home."

"I'm happy you're home." Bruce spoke up, not sure what else to say to her.

"You don't count." She smiled, "You just got back a few days before I did."

"Still." He argued, "I feel better knowing you're here."

She gave him a smile and looked back down at her cup of tea.

Bruce's eyebrows lowered as he played back his own words in his head.

It was true what he said, he did feel better knowing she was there.

She was the one he'd come to with his problems and call on when he got in trouble, especially in the last few years.

"It must be exhausting." Bruce realized out loud as he spoke, "You're always fixing problems for everyone else. I don't think I realized how often you do that until now."

"Amazing I can do that and hold a company position, right?" She tried to joke, but he could see right through the humor she was using a shield for the pain she was in.

It wasn't fair, he thought, how she spent so much of her time being the one people came to with problems and then when it was too much and she left, everyone was mad at her.

He couldn't argue that there were a hundred other and better ways she could have gone about taking off then how she did, but he knew just like with everything, she did the best she could.

"I saw Selina today." He admitted, both because it had been on his mind and because he could sense she didn't want to talk about her own heartache anymore, "She says she's not mad that I left Gotham for so long, but her actions revealed otherwise."

"Apparently that is what we do now, huh?" Bird somberly smiled, "Leave town and then come back to find out no one really wants us here."

"Apparently." He agreed with a sad smile of his own, "Maybe I should go back to Switzerland."

"Take me with you." Bird said as she slid down further on the cushions and rested her head against the couch.

"Deal." Bruce said.

He picked his tea back up from the table and took a few drinks now that it had cooled off some.

"I was thinking maybe I'd just stay here tonight." He offered; thinking that it was time he be there for her.

"Bruce, I'm okay." Bird promised.

"I know you are." He nodded, "But we really don't know how tomorrow is going to go and I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be."

Reaching out, she grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze as she near silently mouthed, "Thank you."

 **•••**

* * *

 **A/N - I ended up getting this story posted quicker than I'd expected too. ^_^  
I'm so excited to share this installment of Bird's story with all of you!  
**

 **In case you didn't know, you can find me on tumblr, username: twofacedharveydent ,I post quite a bit of edits for my stories on here.**

 **I'd really appreciate it if you'd take the time to leave a review and let me know what you thought of the chapter. I can't wait to hear your feedback and the support really helps to keep me inspired.**


	2. Atonement

**II - Atonement**

" _I'm too old to recover, too narrow to forgive myself." - Lillian Hellman, The Children's Hour_

* * *

 **•••**

Jim barely stirred as he rolled from his back onto his side and faced away from the sunlight pouring in through the windows.

He had a brief yet fleeting thought of how if he was going to be sleeping half the day he needed to invest in some blackout curtains, but consciousness started to fade just as suddenly as it had come.

The next thing he was aware of was the sound of water running in a sink.  
His forehead lined and he cringed in pain as he popped an eye open and glanced around the already bright room.

Nothing seemed amiss and he no longer heard any water.

His limited sight landed on the bottle of alcohol on the nightstand; well, the empty bottle.  
He didn't remember finishing it off before he'd fell asleep.

What did it matter anyways?  
When he'd seen Bullock at the police station just the day before he'd boasted about how not working a day job allowed him get drunk whenever he wanted.

With another groan he rolled into the center of the bed on his stomach and face planted back into his pillow.

He was nearly back asleep when he was jarred again, this time by the sound of a cabinet door creaking open, then clicking shut a short time later.

Was someone in the house?

Raising back up he glanced over his shoulder to the open doorway of the room and lazily blinked as he waited for any sign of movement or another noise for proof.

But there was nothing.  
Only silence again.

Deciding to just try and go back to sleep with the hope that maybe in a few hours he'd wake up without the feeling of someone trying to drill through his skull into his brain.  
The headache was so bad he was having trouble focusing his vision.

Or maybe he was still a little drunk -it was getting harder to tell anymore.

Lifting his face back up from the pillows, he tried to readjust and get comfortable -but he immediately caught the scent of coffee brewing.

He didn't imagine that. He was one-hundred percent sure he was no longer dreaming, no longer fading in and out of the waking world.

As quietly as possible he slid out of bed, grabbed the gun from the nightstand and made his way towards the kitchen.  
Which in the small, shabby house he'd been renting wasn't a long trek at all.

"Are you still so upset with me that you're really going to shoot me?" Bird questioned when she heard him behind her in the kitchen and saw his reflection in the door of the microwave.

Turning around to face him, her eyes fell to where he still had his gun drawn and she added with a raised brow, "Even after you took it so hard the last time I was shot?"

"Back to not taking anything seriously, I see." Jim gruffly answered with a shake of his head as he lowered the gun to his side.

He knew very well she was referring to the impact her death had had on him when everyone believed she'd been killed.

"What are you doing here, Bird?" He asked as he stepped further into the kitchen and laid his gun down on the nearest available counter space.

"I wanted to see where you were living." She answered, glancing around as if she hadn't already been there for quite some time; she politely said, "It's nice."

He scoffed.  
It wasn't nice and he knew it.

It was cheap, fully furnished and available for him to immediately move into.  
The truth was the house was barely worth the low rent.

And now looked even worse with how messy it was.

Turning slightly he glanced back into the living room where the surface of the coffee table was covered with various items; mostly junk mail he hadn't bothered to throw out and fast food trash.

The kitchen counters were littered with takeout containers that had he not been so drunk he might have thought to put them in the fridge before passing out.

He hadn't cleaned at all since he'd move in. He didn't even own a vacuum.

Bird pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as he watched him look everywhere in the room except for at her.

"I brought you breakfast." She finally spoke again in an attempt to draw his attention back to her.

"From that little diner we found over on West 27th, remember?" She asked as she brushed past him to get into the living room and picked up the bag from the couch, "It was the night we saw that awful play but we bailed out before the final act and left everyone? The food was so good, but the coffee tasted like it had been sitting there for a week?"

With that she nodded back into the kitchen where the pot of coffee was almost finished brewing, silently explaining why she'd been making coffee.

Jim watched her in silence before his gaze fell to the floor, he remembered that night clearly.  
Wayne Enterprises had gotten a number of tickets to a play being put on and Bird was one of the employees who'd been given a pair of them.

The night was supposed to end with a diner at one of the most expensive restaurants in Gotham.

One of the many company sponsored events that neither he nor Bird cared much for attending in the first place.

"Here." She darted over to him and held out the bag for him to take, "I should probably get going anyways. Bruce has his meeting with the board today."

Jim blinked as he stared back at her thinking to himself how out of place she looked among the interior of his run down house.

If only they were in better surroundings it wouldn't have felt much different from when they were living together. He was usually just making it down stairs as she ready to head out the door to her job.

Much like now, he'd be in his boxers and an undershirt and she'd look flawless with barely a hair out of place.

She'd be heading off to make real changes for the city and his plans usually involved hours in front of the TV watching true crime shows and getting angry and frustrated at seeing all the mistakes made in the handling of the cases by the detectives.

Mistakes he, himself, wouldn't have made with lives at stake.  
From there he'd be slapped with the harsh reality that he wasn't a detective, so it really didn't matter how differently he thought he could have handled things.

That was when his drinking in the middle of the day started.

"Jim?" Bird said, lightly shaking the bag in her hand, "Here. You should eat something… aside from cheap takeout."

"What is this?" He sighed, pulling the bag from her hand and setting it by his gun on the counter.

"Breakfast-" She began to repeat.

"I mean what is this?" He motioned between them, "What are you trying to do?"

"I'm not sure, but…" Bird answered with total honesty, "You can't keep going like this, Jim. This monster of the week gig, the isolation…"

Her voice trailed off and fear crept in.  
All this time she'd been assuming there had been no one since her, but now she wondered if that was really the case.

For someone who liked to play the lone wolf hero, she knew Jim didn't actually like to be alone.

Turning around she started to leave, but after taking a few steps she couldn't move any further.

"Has there been anyone else?" Bird asked, "Since me?"  
Even if there had been, she had to know the truth.

She looked over her shoulder at him, their eyes locked and he truthfully answered, "No."

She closed her eyes and let out the breath she'd been holding on to.

Jim watched her as she crossed through the living room, swooping her purse up from the couch on her way to the door.

Just as she'd started to pull the door open, he cleared his throat and asked, "What about you?"

When she turned back to look at him, he clarified, "Has there been anyone else?"

"No." She promised, pausing a little longer before trying to explain, "I wasn't trying to get away from you, Jim. I just…"

With a wordless shrug, she offered up a small but sad smile before leaving and pulling the door shut behind her.

Once she was gone, Jim pulled in a deep breath and leaned against the counter, rubbing his hands over his face.

He'd thought about Bird's return to Gotham nearly all the time she'd been away.  
To begin with he wasn't sure that she was coming back at all and even if she did, he wasn't entirely sure what to expect.

She looked good and seemed to be in a much better place than when she'd left.  
He wanted to be happy about that; be happy for her and deep down a part of him was, but happiness in general was an emotion far down on the list of what he felt these days.

After rubbing his tired and achy eyes once more, he crossed the small kitchen and opened the cabinet to grab both a coffee cup and something to make it stronger. A splash - or several should do it.

But as he pulled one of his only clean mugs down, he saw the bottle of alcohol he'd kept pushed towards the back of the cabinet was empty.

"Damn." He muttered to himself as he shut the door a little too hard and poured out half a cup of the piping hot coffee Bird had set to brew while she as there.

He'd have bet his latest Arkham monster of the week check that he'd just bought that bottle.

For a fleeting moment his mind went back to when he'd first woken up and saw the empty bottle of the nightstand with no memory of finishing it off.

Shrugging it off and telling himself that it had been rough couple of days with seeing Bird again, he took a drink of the coffee and then carried the mug with him into the living room where he came to a dead stop when he saw the small table he kept most of his drinking stash was still covered with bottles -but they were all empty.

Jim then proceeded into the bedroom, feeling for the flask in the pocket of the jacket he'd been wearing the day before. A now empty flask -which he dropped to the floor and headed back into the kitchen.

Every single bottle of alcohol he'd had in the house was empty.

 _Every._  
 _Last._  
 _One._

Even the bottles he'd hidden; not sure who'd he'd been hiding them from.  
Maybe himself.

He'd been collecting enough liquor that before Bird came through and poured it all down the drain, he probably could have opened a small bar with it.

How long had she'd been in his house, he wondered.  
Going through every nook and cranny until the place was dry.

It wasn't until then that he realized his hiding places must have been so obvious to her because they were the same as where he'd started stashing bottles at Bird's townhouse.

Something he thought he'd hidden well.  
Always picking up another bottle on his way home -just in case.  
Getting home and hiding it behind something else. In the back of a cabinet or behind something in the closet.  
He'd even hidden a bottle away behind the folded towels in the back of the linen closet.

Always with another excuse in mind.  
He hadn't realized how much was already in the house.  
When she started to spiral down, she'd flip when he move things around, so he hid them to avoid a fight.

He'd even convinced himself for a while that he was keeping the alcohol hidden for Bird's own good.  
That alcohol never helped anything. Never made anything better and she was better off not having the temptation of drinking her problems away within reach at any given moment.

Advice he'd failed to follow himself.

Most of all, what he didn't want to admit the most was that he knew it was becoming a problem.

That all the other excuses were moot. At the end of the day he'd been trying to hide it from Bird; he didn't want her to know how bad he was struggling.

But she'd known all along.

Known his secrets. His hiding places.

The contents in his stomach started to churn.

Anger.  
At himself for falling so far.  
For not seeing just how much she'd been aware of things he'd convinced himself were hidden.

Guilt.  
If he hadn't been so caught up in trying, but failing, to hide his own downward spiral than maybe he'd have seen how badly Bird was coming undone.

Shame.  
All this time he'd blamed her for how things ended. For taking off the way she did.  
Only now, looking back, he couldn't pinpoint many reasons she'd have wanted to stay.

Splashing the strong coffee into the sink from the cup, he turned the water on and swished a few rounds in the mug, before getting some of the cold water and taking a small drink.

He then tossed the mug into the sink, not caring enough to notice when the water splashed up onto the counter and then over the edge onto the floor beside him.

He needed to go.  
To be anywhere other than the run down house he called home.

Suddenly restless with the feeling that anywhere was better than where he was.

Maybe the bar over on Spears Street that opened earlier than all the others.  
The patrons were usually all male, twenty or more years his senior.  
The types who kept to themselves. Each with their own load of sorrows to down.

••• **flashback •••**

"Two hours." Jim said, unable to hold back a sigh as he held the brochure in one hand and rubbed his face with the other hand.

Glancing over to where Bird was standing he waited for her reaction, but she was too distracted by the shine the glitter on the posters outside of the theater had in the lighting to hear him.

"Hey." He nudged her and made sure she was listening before he held up the booklet and repeated, "This play is going to be two hours long… at the least."

"Mhmm." She hummed, tucking her curled hair behind her ears and offering up an empathetic look when she reminded him, "I don't want to be here anymore than you do."

He held back another sigh for her sake.  
It was true, she wasn't thrilled about spending their Friday night with people she didn't care to associate much with outside of the office, but he also knew it was different for her.

They looked at him differently than they did Bird; though she never seemed to notice.

Jim wanted nothing more than to flag down a taxi and go home, but he stayed for her -even if he'd have been much happier spending the night in.

Bird's eyes drifted back over towards the sheen and sparkle of the glitter posters in the bright lighting outside of the large, historic theater until she heard her name called again.

In unison, both Bird and Jim plastered on smiles as they turned to greet the rest of the group they'd been waiting on that night.

The small group grew by the minute until the last couple showed up.

One of the company executives, who's name seemed to be lost on Jim, apologized for making them wait. Harshly blaming the delay on their driver's incompetence with no uncertain words, while his wife nodded along and kept a hold of his arm.

"Hopefully our limo driver can do a better job." His wife finally spoke, "Get us all to our dinner reservations after the show."

The group thinned out some once they were inside of the theater.  
A few heading to the restrooms or stopping at the concession for snacks before they planned on taking their seats.

Bird had wandered off towards the gift shop and Jim found his way over to the bar.  
He was going to need to a drink or two -possibly three or four to get through the night.

"This is going to be a long night, huh?" John, one of the men from Wayne Enterprises in their group asked as he stepped up next to where Jim had just ordered his drink.

"Yeah." Jim agreed with a smile, before diverting his gaze back to the bar.

"Shush." Alice, John's wife said as she joined her husband and reminded him, "Critics have been raving about this play."

"Well who am I to argue with dozens of rave reviews?" Her husband bellowed a laugh before he swooped up his freshly prepared drink from the bar.

"So, Jim, have you decided what you're going to do now that you're days at GCPD are over?" Alice asked in a chipper tone.

She seemed completely unaware of how her attempt to make polite conversation had left Jim feeling like he could crawl out of his own skin.  
And he didn't miss the expression on John's face as he waited on an answer.

Beginning to feel awkward herself from the extended silence the trio was standing in, Alice cleared her throat and attempted to give deepen the conversation, "You worked security at a company event not too long ago, right?"

"Yeah." Jim downed the rest of his drink and motioned to the bartender for another.

Her attempt to give him an out had only left him feeling worse; knowing Bird was the only reason he'd been asked to head up security for one of Wayne Enterprises high profile events the month before.

When he'd gotten the call and temp job offer, Bird had tried to act like she knew nothing about it, but he suspected she was trying to get him out of the house more.

"Maybe you could work private security?" Alice continued, stepping up to the bar and ordering a drink for herself.

"Maybe." Jim nodded with a tense smile, before turning around entirely to face the bar and order yet another drink.

This was the part he hated the most when they'd go out with Bird's co-workers; the questions about if he'd decided what he wanted to do yet.  
The judgmental looks that would follow.

At on such event someone had even made the comment that if they didn't have to work, they probably wouldn't either.

Little did they know that he had his own money in savings. He wasn't freeloading off of Bird and as much as he tried to let the insinuations not get under his skin, he'd be lying if he said it didn't make him feel as though he'd shrunk down to the size of a pea.

Bird walked through the large theater lobby with her bag of items she'd just purchased at the gift shop.

She didn't see Jim at first and almost turned to head towards the company sponsored balcony seating, until she remembered the bar was open before the play and during intermission.

Sure enough, that was where she finally spotted him. Standing next to John and Alice, with a drink in hand.

Her pace slowed to a stop as she watched him downing the alcohol like it was water.

She noticed him drinking more and more over the last few weeks. It wasn't a big deal when it was a few beers a night, but now the beer bottles sat in the fridge while new bottles of the hard stuff kept showing up in her cabinets.

At first she'd thought the increase in his drinking was due to him being out of work for so long. That he'd sit there miserable from the free time and so she'd gotten him a job working security a few nights at a company event in hopes that he'd start to feel some purpose again.

But that hadn't been the case.

"Starling-" Alice called out when she spotted her, "Bird!" She quickly corrected herself and waved, "Over here."

"There you guys are." Bird feigned surprise, pretending as though she hadn't been watching from afar.  
As she walked closer she added, "I was just about to go to the box and see who was there."

"Yes!" Alice's eyes widened, "We should take out seats soon, but first some snacks."

With that she smiled and looped her arm with her husbands as she led the way over to the concession stand.

"You okay?" Bird asked as she faced Jim.

"Yeah." He nodded, setting the empty glass down on the bar and asking, "What's in the bag?"

"Oh." She chuckled to herself and opened the royal blue paper bag containing her purchase, "I picked up something for Oswald."

Jim's brows raised while he watched her pull out a small, hand painted penguin figuring complete with a glittery purple top hat.

"That's…" Jim's voice trailed off, not sure how to finish the sentence.

"He's either going to love it or hate it." She beamed with another small laugh.

Leaning forward and catching a glimpse inside of the bag he asked, "Is that another one?"

"Yes." Bird nodded, pulling out the matching figurine and admitting, "I know exactly where I'm going to put this one. There's a spot on the mantle for it."

"Ah." He breathed trying to match her expression, but couldn't sell the lie.

"Come on." She said after returning the items to the bag and holding out her free hand to him, "Let's go."

"Home?" Jim half-joked.

"To our seats." Bird corrected, stepping closer and grabbing onto his hand to pull him along with her before he had the chance to hit the bartender up for another refill.

The minutes seemed to slowly tick by.  
Nearly painful for Jim with every glance at his watch as the show trucked on.

This wasn't where he wanted to be.

Aside from Bird, these weren't the people he'd willingly spend time with.

He'd tried to focus on the play, tried to follow the plot line in hopes time would speed up or at the very least move at a normal rate and not lull by.

But it wasn't helping.

Add how uncomfortable the seats were and he was not a very happy camper.

He glanced over in Bird's direction when he felt her hands on his arm.

Almost as if she could read his mind and knew he'd spent the last ten minutes wondering why the hell he'd agreed to come to this event in the first place, she slid her arms around his arm closest to her.

Leaned in and rested her head on his shoulder, cuddling up to him as best she could with the arm rest between them.

Letting out a breath, Jim relaxed more into his own seat, not even realizing how tense he'd been until her closeness and warmth had calmed him.

Reminded him why he'd agreed to spend his night at the theater.

When he felt the weight of her head raise from his shoulder he looked over at her to see she was staring at him; at the ready to say something.

She glanced over towards the stage first and then back to him, he'd expected her to comment about the play. Maybe bring up the dinner they were attending after the show.

"Did we set that documentary to record?"

Jim's brows furrowed.

"What?" He whispered back.

"The documentary." Bird repeated, revealing her thoughts had also been light years away from their current setting, "About that cult in Canada years ago."

"I remember." Jim nodded, adjusting in his seat and leaning in further towards her.

"Yeah." She nodded back, "Did we set it to record?"

"I think so." Jim answered.

Bird watched while a smile slowly formed on his face. Angling the corners of his mouth up as he continued to stare at her.

"What?" She questioned. Eyes darting back and forth, unable to stop her own smile from creeping up.

"Nothing." Jim said.  
Pulling his eyes away from her face, he looked straight ahead at the stage for a moment or so before admitting, "Just thinking how much I'd rather be at home right now."

"Me too." She agreed, curving her body against his side again. Head returning to his shoulder as she let out a heavy sigh and complained, "And I'm starving. How much longer till this is over?"

Checking his watch again and seeing only a relatively short time had passed since the last time he watched the hands tick by, he answered with a sigh of his own, "Over an hour."

"Let's go."

"The concession stand is closed during-" Jim began, but she didn't let him finish.

Instead she clarified, "No, I mean let's go. Go. Get something to eat and just go home."

Letting out a weak laugh, Jim kept his voice low as he whispered, "Lead the way."

 **•••**

Jim had thought she'd been kidding; but next thing he knew, only the ghost of her touch remained on his arm and shoulder.

Quickly and silently, she'd slid out of her seat and sneaked away.

In a state of near disbelief, he got to his own feet, giving a strained smile and awkward nod to one of Bird's co-workers when they'd looked over at him, before he ducked out of the box seating.

He'd found Bird a few moments later, at the end of the hallway messing with the door marked emergency fire exit.

She'd disabled the alarm and pushed it open, a laugh on her lips as they spilled outside onto the fire escape and the chilly night air swirled a dusting of glittery snow in the air around them.

He remembered the cold of the metal beneath his hands as he'd grabbed the railing for balance.  
The taste of her lips as she kissed him once they'd climbed down the ladder and had both feet on the sidewalk.

The scent of her perfume in the air, tickling his face when she'd tightly grabbed his hand and started running from the theater, pulling him right behind her as she did.

As if they making a grand escape -in search of a getaway car.

He hadn't even thought to ask why they were sneaking away.  
The front exit would have worked just fine.

If he were by himself, he'd have just went out the front.  
But he wasn't.

He wasn't alone.

He had her and she had him.

And in the nonsense of those moments Bird seemed to exist on a different plane.  
Living by her own rules and in those moments he got to share in it with her, he felt like it too.

The rest of the city melted away into a blur through the windows in the back of the cab they'd hailed down.

"I'm so hungry!" Bird had called out to the driver once she's slid in and shut the door.

She'd ignored Jim's suggestions of going to one of their usual favorite places and instead instructed the taxi driver to surprise them. To take them to somewhere with great food that served breakfast late into the night -because she was craving bacon and wanted waffles.

It was the first time he'd put up an argument all night.  
Saying he'd rather go somewhere where he knew the food would be good.  
Somewhere familiar.

But she'd shushed him with a kiss.  
Making it clear his argument would be pointless.

That she was getting her way -she usually did.

Several minutes later they were walking into a small Mom-And-Pop diner that was open nearly all night with the most delicious smell of cooking food wafting out into the street.

They were still dressed up from the theater.  
More than a little over dressed for such a casual, homey eatery. All eyes were on them when they came through the doors.

Bird hadn't seemed to notice and after a few minutes neither did Jim.

Nothing else seemed to matter outside of those moments when they were in them.

Bird was herself. Living her life unapologetically so and it was contagious.

A night that started out with nothing but anxiousness and dread had turned into such a fond memory.

He remembered looking at her from across the table of the small corner booth they'd been seated in.  
The way her eyes lit up when their waiter had set her plate down in front of her.

One of those many moments when it really struck him just how much he loved her.

It was one of the last really good nights they had before things started to change.

Bird was alive. Full of life.  
It was practically seeping from her pores.  
Happiness in her eyes, her smile, the sound of it in her voice.

She was alive.

And then she wasn't.

Or at least it felt that way to him.  
Now he was left wondering how much he'd been responsible for the light in her eyes dulling.

Struck down by wondering how long her smiles been empty before he'd noticed the change.

How long she'd felt hollow. Alone.

 **••• present day •••**

Bird pulled in a gasp of air, deep enough it rattled her bones and caused her lungs to ache.

With her mouth wide open, desperate for air, she sucked fabric in between her teeth. It stuck to her tongue.

Sputtering the black fabric out, she shook her head and tried to raise her arms but they were tied down to the chair she was sitting in.

Her eyes were wide beneath the fabric bag over her entire head, but she couldn't see anything. Just a glow from the lights in the room seeped in.

For several frantic seconds, all while still trying to catch her breath, Bird tried to piece together what had happened.

The only way to figure out where she was would have to start with piecing together where she'd been.

Wayne Enterprises.

Nodding to herself, she remembered making it to the main office building of her family's company just in time for the meeting her brother was holding with the board.

She'd stood at his side, with Alfred lingering behind them, as Bruce claimed to have knowledge of the secret organization pulling the strings in Gotham. Threatened to send what he had to both the federal government and the media if the leader of the clandestine group didn't meet with them before the end of the day.

Bird remembered standing in near silence herself, carefully studying the faces of everyone in the room. Trying to pinpoint who looked the most scared or too dramatically confused.

Then she'd went to her own office. Scheduled some visits to various shelters in the upcoming weeks for the company to get photo ops. Push how much good they were doing out into the media. Raise more money.

She'd left work early.  
Gone home.  
Ordered dinner from one of her favorite places.

Almost on cue, she felt her stomach growl from hunger.

That's right, she thought. She ordered food in but she'd never gotten the chance to eat.

Her phone had rang within a handful of seconds after she'd sat down at the dining room table.

Jim.

Her eyes blinked rapidly, her hear forward, blocked gaze angled down into the darkness.

She'd seen his name and number on the screen. Remembered the hesitation she had in flipping the phone open to take the call.

Unsure if she should be anxious or happy he was trying to get in contact with her.  
The first attempt on his end since she'd come home.

Yet another thing in her day that had gotten interrupted. She never got to answer the phone.

…Because someone had been in her house.

She closed her eyes, her own breath creating an uncomfortable humidity inside of the hood, causing the fabric to cling to her forehead.

She remembered seeing the curtains blowing out into the room from a gust of wind, she'd caught the sight from the corner of her eye.  
Something so normal that she didn't think it was odd, until she remembered she closed up all the windows because the cool evening air had put a chill in her house.

So much so that she'd still been wearing her coat when she sat down to eat.

That's where everything was hazy. Unclear.

All she was sure of was that someone was in the house with her -and whatever they'd used to bring her down was much stronger than chloroform.

Someone grasped onto the black hood covering her head, and hastily jerked it up in the air. Snatching several strands of hair straight from her scalp as they did.

Her chest rose and fell heavily, taking in the air from the room as quickly as possible.  
Her lungs felt scorched. Like she'd been breathing in ash.

There was a taste in the back of her throat comparable to bitter tea, left to steep for far to long.

"Bird." An older woman's voice called out, "Bruce."

The siblings both looked at one another as they sat midway down a table large enough to seat at least twenty people. Both tied to chairs, directly across from one another.

Neither of them having realized the other was there until they heard their names.

Bruce looked as frazzled as she felt.

He looked at his sister, seeing her hair fuzzed out on the sides, sticking out in static on the top.

There was a darkening bruise on her forehead, he saw the dried blood on her cheek from where the skin had split open from being hit.

Bruce diverted his eyes down to the glossy wood table.

The last thing he remembered was hearing commotion downstairs and finding Alfred on the floor.

Unconscious? Dead?  
Bruce couldn't be positive if his butler had been breathing.

He hadn't gotten much of a chance to check on him before someone had grabbed him from behind, pressed a wet cloth over his mouth and noise and everything went black.

Looking back at his older sister, Bruce realized she must have put up much more of a fight then he'd been able to.

"You wanted to talk?" The woman asked, after she'd given them a few moments to get their bearings.

They both jerked their heads to look her way in unison.  
Like mirror reflections of the other.

Bruce's mouth was open, he was still having a hard time catching his breath.

Bird seemed a fraction more composed. Appearing more angry than startled.

"Oh…" The woman chuckled upon realizing she was still wearing her owl mask.

"Forgive me." She smiled as she pulled the mask off and laid it down on the table.

Bruce's eyes widened as he stared at the woman's familiar face.  
He couldn't remember her name -but he knew her.

Bird, however, had given the woman a once over and then seemed to be focused more on the mask.

"Better?" She questioned, directing her gaze towards Bruce from where she sat at the head of the table.

"I know you…" Bruce swallowed hard, "I've seen you at Wayne Enterprise's events. You… you've been in my home." He remembered seeing her at the various get togethers his parents would throw.

"My name is Kathryn." She introduced herself.

"You're the leader of this thing?" Bird asked.

Side-eyeing the man dressed in all black, his face also covered in a mask, who was standing behind where her brother was sitting.  
She was also well aware someone was standing behind her too.

"I represent the group you've asked to speak with." Kathryn corrected while eyeing the younger woman.

"Is Alfred, okay?" Bruce choked on the breath of air he'd tried to pull in, "You didn't have to hurt him!"

"He wouldn't have let us meet alone." Kathryn dismissed. Not answering the question about if the butler was okay.

"You tried to kill us!" Bruce's voice shook, "You were behind Indian Hill. Hugo Strange was hired by you-"

"Is that why you're here Bruce? To ask questions you already know the answers to?" Kathryn scoffed at him.

Bird's eyes were on her brother now. Watching as his entire body trembled like a small animal caught in a snowstorm.

His emotions were all over the place. She could only guess this thoughts were darting around in his head quicker than he was able to process.

It reminded her of the night they'd went after Matches Malone.

Bruce's eyes met his sisters. A deepening vertical line appearing between his brows as he stared back at her, not sure why she was picking now to remain silent.

"Who are you." Bruce looked back at the head of the table, "What do you call yourselves?"

"Our name is unimportant." She dismissed.

"Now…" Kathryn let out a heavy exhale as she gripped the handles of the chair and pushed herself to her feet. The short heels on her shoes click-clacking with every step as she started to circle the table, "You both made a threat against us."

A predatory gesture, Bird knew it well.

It was a move she'd often used to unnerve people in situations where she had the upper hand.

"You have referred to evidence that you've uncovered of our existence." Kathryn continued her steady, but slow paced walk encircling the table, "We would like to know what you've found."

"Nothing." Bird answered, her eyes staying with Kathryn as she walked behind where Bruce was sitting, "Nothing certain."

"Until now." Bruce chimed in. Now seeming to either be mirroring his sister's calmer composure or finding an anchor within himself to grab onto.

"A bluff?" Kathryn's painted red lips curved up in a smile. Her dark lined eyes widening in amusement, "Nicely played."

"It wasn't _just_ a bluff." Bruce shook his head, "The more I studied my company's doings. The more I found things that could only be explained buy your organizations existence. Still… I had to know for sure."

"And now we do." Bird smirked.

Kathryn came to a stop at the end of the table closet to where they were seated. "And what now?" She questioned.

"According to you; we already tried to kill you once." Kathryn straightened her posture.  
Subconsciously trying to make herself appear more imposing.

"I began all this because I wanted to solve my parents' murders." Bruce explained, "Six months ago I concluded your organization responsible."

"And have you changed your mind?"

"No." Bruce answered as Bird shook her head.

"But…" His tone faltered a bit, "There are other considerations now."

"Such as your own life." Kathryn's thinning lips pursed together in an unsettling straight line.  
The age lines around her lips deepening, appearing almost hollow.

She paused for a breath, "And the lives of those close to you." She added, "Alfred Pennyworth. Selina Kyle. James Gordon…to name a few."

"I see now." She continued, starting her trip back to her seat at the head of the table, "Why you've gone to so much trouble. You're wanting to make a deal."

"Yes." Bird admitted.

"What do either of you have to offer?"

"Wayne Enterprises." Bruce threw out a little too fast.

Bird's eyes cut over to where he was sitting.  
They should have thought this plan all the way through. At least come up with a basic script to go off of.

"You cannot give someone what they already posses." Kathryn reminded him.

She stood now in front of her seat, but didn't sit down.

"I'm not finished." Bruce interrupted, "If I die... my shares will be turned over to the federal government. Investigators will comb through every file. Every single asset." He let it sink it before questioning, "Are you ready for that level of scrutiny?"

"That would be unfortunate. But we would weather the storm." Kathryn argued, "What else?"

"The Wayne name still has meaning. It's a symbol of light, of hope. For a group such as yours that could provide a useful distraction." Bruce continued.

Bird arched a brow. Clearly her brother had formulated a script of his own, he just hadn't bothered to share it with her.

"You are an impressive young man." Kathryn complimented, before cocking her head to the side and starting up on her rejection of that idea too.

"Forgive my little brother." Bird spoke up, "He's brilliant but still too young to understand how Gotham works."

Bruce's eyes cut over to her, but she wouldn't look at him. She kept her eyes locked on Kathryn.

"That's more my area of expertise." Bird continued, "For your group to thrive and continue to live in the safety of shadows you need complacency. For everyone to go on about their lives and not start poking around."

"And?" Kathryn pushed.

"And!" Bird's voice raised in a mocking tone, "If the last two surviving members of the Wayne family wind up dead -well, just look at how our parents' murders caused such unrest in the entire city."

Seeing she had her attention, Bird continued, "That was the reason for having some low-level thug framed for the crime, right? To try and put minds at ease. Stop talk of conspiracy theories. Keep people from picking at the threads because eventually everything would come undone."

"You're organization is actually safer with us alive; keeping your secrets, than it would be if you we were dead and everyone started sticking their noses in places that wouldn't be good for you." Bird offered a tense shrug, "That's the cold hard truth."

"The Waynes…" Kathryn breathed with a sentimental look, "Always such a smart bunch. Sometimes too much for their own good."

Bird and Bruce looked at each other. Waiting to find out what was going to happen next.

"I happen to agree with you, Bird." Kathryn announced, "For now, that is, you are worth more to us alive rather than dead." Her voice lowered as she repeated, " _For now_."

Bruce's gaze fell to the table. He understood now why Bird had been so quiet. She'd been trying to let Kathryn do the talking; let her show her hand before they'd show theirs.

Everyone had always spoke of how quiet Bruce is, his whole life he'd heard comments like that -but now, for the first time, he was starting to feel like maybe he talked a little too much.

"Still… your offer is not sufficient." Kathryn said, "We will also require that you both cease all investigation into both our existence and your parents' murder."

Finally, she took her seat again, seeming much less tense and more at ease with them and her own decision of letting them live, "Any violation of that in the slightest -and our agreement is void."

Hearing the swoosh of liquid in a glass bottled, Bird turned her head to the side to see the man standing behind her wetting a white cloth. The enforcer behind her brother was doing the same.

"Ah, hell." Bird muttered through her clenched teeth.  
She felt like she'd barely survived the first round of that stuff.

"We need your answer now." Kathryn's voice deepened again.

Neither of the siblings seemed willing to offer either a yes or no up to her.  
Both of them taking turns watching the other and looking at the enforcers behind them.

"Now." Kathryn ordered.

"I agree." Bruce said. The words sounded strained.  
Painful like he'd had to carve them from his own flesh.

"Deal." Bird breathed, giving a single decisive nod to Kathryn.

"I am so happy to hear that." She beamed a near threatening smile at them, "Needless to say you will not see me again."

Bird and Bruce looked at each other. Each of them watching as the the masked men stepped closer to their sibling with the saturated cloth in hand.

"Goodbye to you both." Kathryn said.

 **•••**

Alfred rubbed the back of his head, breathing through the pain as his vision was still blurring with each new jolt of pain that shot through him.

He'd been hit so hard on the head by the intruder that he was half-surprised his skull wasn't cracked open.

Some time ago he'd woken up on the floor of the study, the first thing he was aware of had been the white-hot pain in his head that radiated down through the rest of his body.  
-The second was his concern for Bruce.

Mustering all of the strength he could manage, he'd pulled himself up off the floor and began a room-by-room search of the entire manor. Only the scouring had been to no avail.

Back to the study, that's where he was headed, to pick up the phone and call the police.

But as he rounded the corner of the doorway, he caught sight of Bruce lying on one of the couches. "Master Bruce!" He yelled, rushing his way.

But once he got to him, Alfred saw Bird lying on the other couch.

"Lady Wayne!" He shouted.

He'd spent the next several minutes going back and forth between them. Monitoring to make sure they were both breathing and showing signs of life and patting them on the cheeks in an attempt to revive them.

"Master Bruce. Come on, now." Alfred patted his face, "Master B, wake up."

He could see movement beneath the youngest Wayne's eyelids. His eyes starting to roll around just before his lashes fluttered.

"There he is." Alfred smiled, as Bruce finally looked at him.

"How did I…" Bruce groggily mumbled, "How did I get back here…"

"I haven't got the foggiest-" Alfred began to explain.

But then both Alfred and Bruce were startled by a loud gasp as Bird woke up, violently and all at once, even flipping herself off of the couch onto the floor in a state of panic and struggle to breathe.

"Lady Wayne!" Alfred turned all his attention to her as he grasped onto her and helped her up from the floor, "Are you alright?"

"How did…" She huffed, looking around confused, "How did I get here?"

"I don't know." Alfred answered the same question he had moments before for her brother, "I came in here to phone the police and here you both were."

"Alfred!" Bruce stood up, wrapping his arms around him and squeezing so tight it nearly took the air from him, "You're alright. I was so worried!"

"I'm fine, mate." He chuckled, returning the warm embrace, "You alright?"

Stepping out of his arms and walking a few steps away with his back towards them, Bruce ran his fingers through his own hair.

Alfred started telling them how someone had gotten in the house without even making a peep.

"I saw them, Alfred." Bruce said.

"Correction." Bird wobbled as she rose to her own feet, "We saw them. And we only saw one of them. A woman."

"We spoke to them." Bruce turned to face her.

"And?" Alfred waited.

"It worked." Bruce's face twisted up. Contorting like he was in pain, "They agreed."

"What?" Alfred looked between the siblings, "Just… just like that? To stop coming after you?"

"On the condition that we stop digging." Bird explained.

"We can't investigate any of it. Not Indian Hill. Not the corruption in the company. Not my parents' murder." Bruce named off, his expression deepening by the second, "Alfred… it was the only way. We had to promise."

Tears stung at his eyes and he cringed at the sound of the whine in his own voice.

"You weren't the only one they threatened, were you?" Alfred asked. Knowing it would take much more than the threat of danger to Bruce's own life for him to make such a promise.

"No. We weren't." Bird spoke when her brother seemed to lose his voice and started nervously chewing on the end of his thumb.

Alfred looked between them. Wishing more than anything he could have been there to help them, to see what they saw, because he had a feeling he'd never get the full story of what happened in that room.

"Do you intend to keep your word?" Alfred questioned.

"I don't know." Bird's voice was a near whisper.

"Yes!" Bruce said, looking over at her in shock.  
As if they hadn't just had the same conversation with Kathryn, in which she'd threatened the lives of everyone close to them.

"I do." Bruce added with more confidence.

"And..." Alfred's voice was soft, "And how do you know that they'll keep theirs?"

Bruce's eyes widened, his gaze darting over to where his sister was standing, silently asking -needing, her input.  
She'd been there with him. Handled the situation better than he had and he needed to know what she thought.

"I think they'll keep their word." Bird finally said, quickly holding a hand up to show she wasn't done talking, "For now, at least. I think we can take a breath. We've bought some time to figure out what we're going to do. But I don't trust them. Sooner or later we'll end up crossing paths with them again."

Bruce nodded.  
He wanted to say something. Have an answer to what and why this was happening to them, but he didn't.

He wanted to thank her for keeping it together better than he had under pressure, give her credit for the time they'd been bought. But he couldn't.

The tears were growing in his eyes, the lump harder to swallow down in his throat.

It was too much.

Without another word he, he turned and quickly left the room.  
Salt water splashing down his cheeks and onto his sweater before he even reached the stairs.

Alfred stared at the doorway that Bruce had left through and then back to Bird with a questioning expression.

Offering up something that resembled a smile, she weakly nodded, "Go on. I'm okay."

Once she was alone, Bird dropped into a seat on the couch and rubbed her hands over her face.  
Leaning forward she let out a heavy breath, the motion of exhale feeling like it could fold her body in half as she stared down at the floor.

Deciding that she was either going to go home or start a kettle of water for tea, Bird put her hands on the couch to start to push herself back up in her exhausted state. But the palm of her hand landed on something hard.

Looking over she saw she'd pushed her hand down on the pocket of the long coat she'd been wearing. Clumsily she pushed her hand inside of the pocket and wrapped her fingers around the object -her cellphone.

Flipping the phone open she saw she had a missed call and voicemail from Jim.  
The call she'd never gotten the opportunity to answer earlier.

She pulled in a deep breath, as she brought the phone to her ear and played the message.  
Picturing his end of the call in her head as she did.

 _"Bird." Jim began his greeting, letting out a heavy breath into the phone, "It's me._

 _There was a scraping sound as he dragged the glass cup across the uneven table top closer to him and looked at the small amount of liquid left. Just enough to cover the bottom of the glass. Distort the view of the table._

 _"I just…" Another breath whooshed against the speaker in the phone, "It wasn't all you, okay?"_

 _Jim's forehead lined. He brought the glass to his lips and drank the rest of it down. Barely enough for a swallow._

 _It only made his mouth feel drier._

 _He'd had too much to drink. Picking up the phone was a bad idea. He'd known that from the second he'd started dialing her number._

 _It had even crossed his mind that maybe she'd changed her number. Or still hadn't replaced the phone she'd tossed into the river months before._

 _Maybe that was why he'd gone through with the call. Half full of hope that he wouldn't get through. Then at least he could say he'd tried._

 _"I just keep looking back, you know?" He paused, as if he'd really get an answer, "All the ways I messed up. How it wasn't what you'd signed up for and I know I let you down. I wasn't who you needed me to be-"_

 _Jim stopped mid-sentence. His pity party starting to bubble with anger._  
 _He'd finally started to take some of the blame for how things had soured between them._

 _As much as he'd have liked to, he knew he couldn't pin all the blame on her. This was just another one of his many failures._

 _"But you didn't have to leave." His voice was muffled from the pressing the phone so tightly against his face, he could hear the plastic creak in his hand._

 _Leaning forward he rested his elbows on the table. One hand still clutching the phone and the other hand against his forehead as he leaned on the surface._

 _Each second of silence ticked by like an hour. He'd nearly expected the recording to cut him off. Maybe that's what he wanted. For it end the message right then and there. Save him from himself._

 _"I don't know." He finally said in a much softer voice, "Maybe you did. But I didn't want you to. Even when things got bad, even with the fighting… my life was better with you in it."_

 _"I miss you." He admitted, "Missed." He corrected a little too quickly._  
 _Putting an awkward amount of emphasis on the past tense version of the word._

 _As if he didn't miss her anymore. As if he could sell the lie through the phone since she wasn't in front of him to see the pain on his face._

 _"I… I don't know why I called." He muttered more at himself than to her, "I guess you just needed to hear… or I needed to say it, to tell you that the blame isn't all on you."_

Bird closed her eyes, the phone pressed tightly against her ear as she listened to the message.

One that seemed to be full of rambling and somehow still not have enough to it.

His voice was a little raspy. Speech slurred, but not too much.

He'd clearly had too much to drink, but not enough that he'd be able to blame it on a drunk-dial.

"Lady Wayne?" Alfred popped his head into the room.

"Uh, yeah?" Bird cleared her throat. An attempt to rattle the emotion in her voice loose.

"I just put the kettle on." He explained, before questioning, "Hungry? Master Bruce has requested pancakes."

With a hopeless sounding laugh, Bird tucked her phone into her pocket and said, "Pancakes sound great."

 **•••**

* * *

 **A/N - I'm sorry for taking so long to get this chapter finished and posted!  
Hopefully you'll think it was worth the wait?  
**

 **I started a new job in early June and trying to adjust and find time to write has been difficult, to say the least.**

 **I'm still super excited to be in season 3 now and have this story posted and I hope you're all really liking it so far.  
**

 **Thank you to everyone who has added this story to your favorites and/or subscribed to follow.**

 **And I owe a huge thank you to: AGBreads,** **xenocanaan, Shadow knight1121, Miss Victoria 20,** **ThatMysteriousSlime, xxXWolfsLullabyXxx, DancingDorisDay, Love. Fiction. 2018, Munyue, amerlia, Havana, movielover251, Rasiel Hasu, SmellYourScentForMiles, TVDobsession, Katniss789, and to the Guests who reviewed the beginning chapter of Devil's Playground.  
**

 **Your support and kinds words honestly mean everything and are responsible for me getting this chapter finished and posted even with my 40+ hour work weeks!**

 **I'd love to know who is still reading Bird and what you guys all thought of the chapter! ^_^  
Thanks for reading.  
**


	3. Bad Pennies

**III - Bad Pennies**

" _How mutable are our feelings, and how strange is that clinging love we have of life even in the excess of misery." - Mary Shelley_

* * *

•••

"Bullock!" Bird called out as she sped up her pace on the side street running along the GCPD building that was lined with cars.

She watched as he came to a stop and his posture slouched after he let out a heavy sigh and turned to face her direction.

"What do you want, crazy eyes?" He questioned.

Holding up the expandable folder she was carrying, Bird explained, "I have some restraining orders again granted to women at a few of the shelters. They need to get into their houses to get some personal belongings-"

"I'm stopping you there." Bullock held up a hand and silenced her.

Before Bird had left Gotham a few months ago, she'd come to the station and talk to him about these situations and he'd dispatch some uniformed officers to go with the women so they could get things from their houses without fear of their abusive spouses.

Opening the door to the backseat of his car, he tossed in the briefcase he'd been carrying and reminded her, "I'm not acting captain anymore. Barnes is back, you know? You'll have to take it up with him."

"I don't want to." Bird's forehead lined, "I don't like Barnes."

"But you like me?" He nearly laughed, "Great…lucky me."

Bird opened her mouth to either argue with him or try and convince him to help her anyway -she wasn't entirely sure which way the conversation was going to go.

"Talk to Barnes." He repeated.  
He'd been around her enough to know the expression her features took on before she was getting ready to pick a fight.

She didn't like being told no.

"Fine." Bird scoffed, spinning on her heels and starting to walk back the other way.

He watched her as she pulled her phone from her pocket and didn't even look back at him.

She'd given up a little too easily.

Bullock knew it was smarter to mind his own business.  
So he reached into his pants pocket for his keys. His fingers brushing against the cool metal. Once sharp edges that were now dulled and familiar.

When he saw she didn't turn towards the building, he called out, "Wrong way."

"I'll handle this myself." She turned around with her face seemingly frozen in a stubborn expression.

Despite acting like she had no intention of any longer seeking his assistance, she walked closer to him, stepping around puddles of stale rain water as she did.

"I don't need GCPD's help." Bird shrugged.

"You- you're kidding right?" His eyebrows shot up his forehead, "What the hell you gonna do? Stroll up in there and put yourself between the angry husband and the battered wife?"

"Someone has to do something." Her jaw was tense.

"No. No way." Bullock shook his head back and forth, "Domestic violence is one situation you sure as hell don't want to get yourself involved in. They are some of the most dangerous and unpredictable situations you'll come across. I wouldn't send a seasoned detective on that run alone. We always send at least two officers-"

"Don't worry about it." She dropped her shoulders into another shrug.  
Started slowly walking backwards away from him, "Do you want the list of names and addresses though? That way GCPD has somewhere to start if I don't come home one night?"

"Damn it." He grumbled under his breath.

"Just give me the folder. I'll talk to Barnes in the morning." He held out his hand expectantly.

Bird came to a stop, still intently watching him as if she was wondering how much more she could get away with.  
How much farther she could push him before he'd tell her to just forget it.

"Folder." He repeated, aggravation in his tone as he shook his outstretched hand in the air and gruffly added, "I ain't gonna say it twice."

"But you just did." She flashed him a pearly white smile, but didn't push the issue any further as she walked back over to him and handed him the file of information.

Opening up the back door of his car again, Bullock tossed the folder in where it landed on the floorboard behind the driver's seat.

"Really?" Bird complained.

He opened his mouth to tell her she needed to shut it. That he was done with his shift for the day and he was far too exhausted to deal with her antics that night.

He could practically hear his apartment screaming his name.  
Calling him home like a siren song.

"Detective Bullock?"

Both he and Bird turned to face a rather tall woman dressed in all black leather with a mouthpiece on over her mouth that distorted her voice as she spoke.

"Yeah…" He eyed her, "That's me."

"Fish Mooney wants to see you." Another voice called out.

Bullock spun around, reaching into his jacket as he did to pull his gun but he ended up staring down the barrel himself.

There was a much younger man, probably late teens with pasty white skin and white-blonde hair that was fluffed a good four or more inches up from the top of his head, already holding his gun.

With a look of confusion, Bullock patted where his weapon should be, but it was gone.

Whatever Strange had down to the boy in Arkham had given him lightening fast speed and reflexes.

"Alright, alright." He said int defeat, dropping his arms to his sides to show he wasn't going to protest and risk getting himself shot.

"This way." The leather clad woman said, nodding behind her to where a old prisoner transport van, now painted matte black, was idling in the street.

Seeing movement from the corner of her eye, the woman jerked her head over in Bird's direction, who'd been slowly and silently stepping back from the scene while planning on making an escape.

"You too." She said, reaching out and taking an iron tight grip on Bird's upper arm.  
Causing her to grimace in pain as the movement pulled on her shoulder, the one she'd had surgery on months prior, but still didn't feel as strong as it did before the injuries she'd sustained.

As she was being led towards the van, Bird let her phone fall from her hand and onto the pavement by her feet.  
Proof that she'd been there.

Bullock had already pulled his police badge from his belt and dropped it right by where he'd seen Bird's phone land.

If anyone came looking for him, they'd find his badge and her phone. Know that they were there and suddenly they weren't.  
That something had happened and they were in trouble.

With any luck, he thought, their makeshift breadcrumbs would be found by someone who actually cared enough to wonder they'd gone.

They were both forced to get up into the van and sit down on the built in metal bench seating.

"My, my…well, lucky me…" Fish clicked her tongue looking between them with a smile toying at the corner of her lips, "A two for one."

Bullock looked around the inside of the transport van. The woman with the mouthpiece was standing in front of the doors, making sure no one was going to try and make a jump for it.

The teenager with the light hair was sitting by Fish, still holding a gun in his hand.

All Bird was able to do was stare at her former boss wide-eyed as she felt the color drain from her own face.

"Baby girl." Fish greeted her with a fondness in her tone that Bird wasn't expecting, "Look who's all grown up." She added as she looked Bird up and down.

The form fitting dress she was wearing was several steps up from the jeans and boots Bird had worn on a daily basis before.  
Fish couldn't help but remember all the fights they'd gotten into when she'd insist Bird dress up while working at the club.

"Fish." Bird tried to greet back, but her voice was choppy and her tongue dry.

"How you doing?" Bullock tried to make conversation.

"Not so good." Fish admitted to them.

Bullock already knew why.  
The recent string of late night pharmacy robberies had been tied to the Arkham escapees.

At first it hadn't made any sense.  
The drug that was stolen had no real street value to it.

But then Lucius Fox had pieced it together. The escapees were stealing the medicine for Fish Mooney.  
Her body was rejecting the cuttlefish DNA that Professor Strange had spliced with hers in the experiments he'd done while bringing her back to life.

She was dying.

"A lot of people are looking for you." Bullock pointed out.

"I heard." Fish nodded, "Heard my little Penguin put a million dollar bounty on my head. Can you believe it?" She smiled, "A million dollars for little old me?"

When neither Bird nor Bullock continued to try and engage her in conversation, Fish explained her reasoning behind kidnapping the detective, "I need to find that bastard Strange."

"Yeah?" Bullock's brows raised and he leaned forward, "You know I can't help you with that."

"Ooh…" She cooed, feigning disappointment.

Leaning forward from her own seat, so much so that she was no longer sitting, Fish argued, "Yes you can… and you will."

With that she pressed her mouth to his. Her hands held his face still while she kissed him.

Bird watched as she could visibly see a glow under Bullock's skin start to spread out from where Fish's hand was.

Sitting back down, Fish suddenly looked much weaker -in pain even.

"You don't look so good, Fish." Bird observed.

Her first thought had been that her former boss was trying to find Strange to kill him. Dole some revenge out in turn for being turned into a science experiment.

But for that, Fish would have just a number of her Arkham escapee followers after him.  
Even with it being personal, she'd have had them bring him to her.

Something more was going on. Something deeper.

"I'll help you find Strange." Bullock finally spoke. His voice a lull like he were in a trance.

"Good boy." Fish nodded.

She leaned her head back against the cold metal interior siding of the transport van and pulled in a deep breath.

Cracking an eyelid open, Fish watched as Bird sat still and just stared back at her.

No need to deplete anymore of her energy in getting the younger woman to follow along like she had with Bullock.

The detective knew Hugo Strange's location and that was the most important thing right now.  
Find the man who'd brought her back to live so that he could save her from death once more.

•••

A few hours and several dead F.B.I agents later, they were in an old mansion.

One that really must have been something back in it's prime.

But now it was abandoned and run down.  
-Or at least it appeared that way from the outside and the more exterior rooms.

The very center of the once grand house had been turned into a state of the art lab, where top government scientists has been debriefing Professor Strange on all the advancements he'd made in the scientific field at Indian Hill.

Bird came to a stop as the double doors to the room containing Professor Strange had been opened.

In the very center of the room was a glass structure holding Strange captive inside of it.  
It was filled with lab equipment and the clear glass walls were covered in various mathematical equations and note written in white gel marker.

Really fitting for a mad scientist, she thought to herself.

She didn't step further into the room containing the glass box until she felt the barrel of the gun push into spine.

Bird finally walked further into the room and stood next to where Bullock was leaned against a wall, finally starting to come out of the effects of Fish's abilities.

He felt drained. Tired like he hadn't sleep for a month and his head was aching so bad he could hardly see straight.

Strange had heard the doors of the room open, but he didn't pay much attention at first.  
He had long grown use to the agents and scientists coming in to question him -or even just to watch him.

As if he, himself, were the subject of an experiment now.

But when no one said anything, he looked over his shoulder. His line of sight first stopped on Bird and Bullock just before he caught sight of Fish.

It was a struggle to get to his feet, his legs felt clumsy from the state of shock he was now in.

Slowly, he walked closer to where Fish was standing just outside of the glass enclosure.

"Professor Strange." Fish greeted, "You and I have some unfinished business"

"Look at you…" He marveled, no longer concerned with anyone else in the room other than Fish, "Amazing."

Fish had been his first successful reanimation with her memories in tact.

His single greatest achievement.

"You are my greatest creation." He admitted, stepping closer to the glass separating them and getting a better look at her.

"Your greatest creation who's dying." Fish explained. Her hands landing on her hips as she slowly started to walk the front length of the glass paneling.

"What?" The tone of Strange's voice chanced.

His hands clasped at his front.

Genuine heartbreak showing on his face as he peered at her from behind the tinted lenses of his glasses.

"You're going to fix me, daddy." Fish smiled at her plan coming together, "And when that's done. You're going to make me an army -so I can have this city kneeling at my feet."

Bird shook her head, glanced at the teenager still holding them at gun point and then let her gaze fall to the floor.

Once again, Fish had managed to get out of Gotham alive -only to return with plans of taking the city over.

Even after all this time, even after her own death; she was still set on ruling the crowded, crime ridden city.

"I can't fix you." Strange answered, his once mournfully clasped hands falling limply to his sides.

"Fish." The leather clad woman, named Nancy interrupted as she walked into the room, "Cops. Lots of them."

Bullock looked around the room.  
It worked; Bird leaving her phone and his dropping his badge had worked.

Someone had found their lost items and had the brains to realize something was amiss.

"I'll give you a few minutes to rethink your answer." Fish's tongue carved every word with the promise of a threat behind each and every syllable, "And I suggest you do."

With that she shooed everyone out of the room.  
Leaving Strange alone to think of the pain that would befall him if he chose not to help her.

•••

The car hadn't even come to a complete stop when Jim opened the door and started to get out.

It was well over an hour prior that he'd found Bullock's police badge on the ground outside of the police station, next to a cellphone that he'd quickly figured out was Bird's.

He'd ran straight back into the station, right up to Barnes' office, demanding to know where they were keeping Strange.  
There wasn't a doubt in his mind that Fish Mooney was behind the abductions.

It was just earlier that day that the body of Ethel Peabody had been found -only she'd been aged up to look as though she was a hundred years old.

Courtesy of the abilities one of Strange's creations possessed.

The more he learned about these creatures, the more he understood why Professor Strange was willing to set off a bomb over letting his creations have free reign.

With his gun at the ready, Jim took the stairs towards the door of the old masion two at a time, with Barnes managing to stay right on his heels -even with the cane and disability his injuries had left him with.

"It's Bullock!" Barnes yelled as he looked down to see who was calling him.

Jim came to a stop so fast he nearly tripped over his own feet.

"Harvey! Harvey? You alright?" Barnes questioned as he answered the call, with the phone on speaker so Jim could hear what was happening as well.

Jim jogged back down the steps, staring down at the open flip phone in the captain's hand.

"Oh, he's fine." Fish answered the question, "But this ain't Harvey."

Jim and Barnes exchanged expressions before the GCPD captain insisted, "I want to speak with Bullock."

"Sure." Fish spun on her heels and held the phone out for Bullock to speak into.

"You don't control me anymore." Bullock nearly snarled at Fish, leaning away from the phone.

"Sid?" Fish nodded to her minion and the teenager put the gun right against Bullock's temple.

With a sigh of defeat, he closed his eyes and said into the phone, "Hey, cap. How are you? Sorry-"

He let out another sigh as Fish quickly took the phone back.

"One chance Mooney." Barnes bellowed, "You let them go. Let them both go and you might just make it out of this."

"Chump!" Fish insulted, "Don't you know you're speaking to a dying woman? Which severely limits your negotiating position. So here's how it's going to go down. One cop comes within twenty feet of this place and Harvey, although I love him, will eat a bullet."

Bird couldn't help but smile.  
A pang struck somewhere deep in her chest.

Guilt or sadness, maybe.

Nostalgia.

Once dead and now resurrected and Fish was still exactly the same as she remembered.  
It wasn't so long ago that Bird had wanted to be her.

"What about Bird?" Barnes questioned, knowing the more hostages Fish had, the more power she held, "Is she okay?"

"She's fine." Fish insisted, glancing over at her once favorite employee.

"Yeah?" Barnes asked, eyeing Jim for a second before demanding, "Prove it. Put her on the phone."

"Captain Barnes wants to speak with you." Fish said, turning just in time to catch the smile and look of admiration on Bird's face.

"Yeah?" Bird scoffed, "Tell him I'm not interested."

Barnes glanced at Jim and caught a ghost of the smile that had been on his lips.

Not only was Bird alive, but apparently fine enough that even being held hostage, she was continuing to hold onto her disdain for Barnes.

"You want us to keep our distance?" Barnes repeated back, "Then I need a sign of good faith on your end. Release one of the hostages-"

Fish flipped the phone closed with a smile of defiance on her lips.  
What part of severely limited negotiation range did he not understand?

"Just had to come back to Gotham, didn't you?" Bullock questioned as Fish started to walk past him back towards the room where Strange was held.

"Like a bad penny." She gave him a smile over her shoulder as she went.

"Fish, you gotta give it up!" Bullock yelled after her, "You got nowhere to go!"

Sid pressed the gun against the side of his head again and all he could do was stand and watch as Fish disappeared into the room with Strange and order Bird to follow her.

He side-eyed the teenager with the gun.

Puny little freak, he thought to himself.  
If it wasn't for the super speed the kid possessed, he could take him.  
He was sure of it.

"Listen up!" Barnes yelled at all the officers who were on the scene with them, "I want you to create a full perimeter. Snipers on every corner. Mooney does not make it out of this. Understood?"

"Yes, sir."  
A few scattered voices answered while others jumped straight into action,

"Captain!" Jim put his arm out to stop Barnes from walking away from the building, "You cannot just leave them in there."

"You think that's what I'm doing?" He questioned, "I'm just not charging through the front door. That's gonna get them both killed."

Jim opened his mouth to protest, but Barnes stuck a finger in his face, "Now I'll remind you that you're no longer a police officer. You get in my way and I'll have you arrested…"

His voice trailed off as the sounds of skidding tires and screeching breaks cut through the night. Several media vans had appeared on the scene.

Barnes muttered under his breath about the damn press and pushed past Jim to shoo all the cameras and reporters away.

Jim eyed the building, trying to figure out a way inside without alerting both Barnes and Fish.

Several minutes had passed without his being able to come up with much of a plan, but his thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of cheering in the distance.

He looked over to see an angry mob spilling onto the scene. Touting weapons of all different sorts. Thrusting flaming torches in the air towards the sky as they shouted.

And at the very front of the group, leading the angry mob closer to the mansion was Oswald.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Barnes angrily yelled at Oswald, before ordering his officers, "Cordon off this area. No one gets through."

A line of uniformed officers lined up, shoulder to shoulder, as they faced down the approaching group of angry citizens.

"Cobblepot!" Barnes yelled out as Oswald reached the front of the line and the officers blocking the way physically held him back, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"What you have proven to be incapable of; time and time again!" Oswald shouted back. Exerting so much energy to yell over the noise on scene that his entire body was trembling.

"This is a GCPD operation." Barnes said, he'd like to say that nothing in Gotham surprised him anymore. But storming an active hostage negotiation scene was far more brazen than he'd expected out of Cobblepot, "I am ordering you and this mob to disperse -immediately!"

"Fat chance!" Oswald yelled, "I will not let those monsters escape again. Fish Mooney dies tonight!"

Th crowd that had followed him there all started cheering. Guns,stakes and even shovels were jousted up into the air. Blood thirsty cries on their lips and the shadows from the open flames made it look like their facial features were tinted in war paint.

"Damn it, Cobblepot." Barnes' voice softened some as he tried to level with him, "One of my detectives is in there. This is the last time I'm going to ask-"

"Bird is in there as well, isn't she?" Oswald demanded to know as he stared down the captain of the police force, "And yet you stand here doing nothing to save her life!"

"We are trying-"

"Bird and Fish have history!" Oswald yelled over him, his eyes moving from where Barnes was standing back to where Jim was still lingering at the bottom of the entrance steps. Oswald made sure he had Jim's attention when he added, "Fish will kill her."

Oswald kept his eyes locked on Jim, giving him a single nod before cocking his head to one side. Waiting to see what the former detective's next move would be.

Barnes glanced over his shoulder to make sure Jim was still standing there, before he looked back at Oswald and ordered, "Back up!"

"You had your chance, Barnes. Now it's my turn." Oswald argued, before thrusting a fist up in the air and screaming, "Who's with me?"

The crowd erupted out in sea of movement and thunder of voices. Even some of the reporters on the scene found themselves cheering for him.

Jim took the opportunity to sneak away, around the side of the mansion where he found an unguarded door and slipped inside of the house.

•••

"Keep guard." Fish ordered to Nancy.

The woman's breathing was audible through the mask on her face. Distorted and uneven as she looked to her leader with a confused expression and then glanced over to where Bird was standing.

"Fish-" She started to protest.

"Fools." Fish complained, "Every last person in the GCPD. All fools. They will try to get in here."

With a obedient nod. Nancy turned and left the room, pulling the doors shut behind her and leaving Fish and Bird alone outside of the glass prison containing Professor Strange.

"Look at you." Fish said turning to Bird and commenting again, "All grown up."

"I was grown the last time you saw me." Bird stated. Her posture stiff.

"Yes." Fish's eyebrows raised. The blue eye she'd gotten from The Dollmaker looked brighter than Bird remembered, "But things are different now, aren't they? You had to grow up more. Find your own way."

Strange slowly stepped closer to the glass as he watched the pair with curious eyes.  
He'd known Bird had once worked for Fish, but he'd never expected such a dynamic between them.

Reminiscent of mother and daughter, he thought.  
All the more interesting considering Bird had killed her biological mother.

"Keys." Fish pointed to where the keys to the glass encased lab were hanging on the wall.

Bird retrieved the keys. Holding the metal loop they were attached to tightly in her hand.

"He's the one who put the hit out on my parents." Bird admitted to her.  
She didn't even have to say what else she was thinking out loud.  
Fish knew Bird had probably vowed to herself that if she ever saw Strange again that she'd kill him.

For a while Fish had said the very same thing. Even dreamed up a few interesting ways in which that could be accomplished.  
But things were different now.

She was dying.  
Growing weaker by the day and now the man who'd brought her back from the dead was her one and only shot at staying among the living.

"He is my only hope." Fish made an admission of her own.  
A rare moment of vulnerability.

Her eyes fell to where Bird was still clutching the key ring.  
An expression on her face practically screaming they'd have to pry them out of her cold, dead fingers.

"You'd really have me die?" Fish questioned, taking a step closer, "All over again?"

"I don't want you to die." Bird admitted, her jaw appearing more square than usual with the expression on her face stretching her features, "I never wanted you to die."

"Could've fooled me." Fish's head cocked to the side.  
She clearly remembered the night she'd been killed. Bird was there and didn't do anything to stop what happened.

Her loyalty to Oswald had been entirely unwavering, despite the love and admiration she'd held for Fish.

"Oswald might have pushed you off that roof, but you were your own downfall." Bird asserted, "You lost. You were beaten. I saved your life once."

"Do you remember that?" Bird stepped closer to her, "I got you out of Gotham with enough money to start somewhere new, but you just couldn't do it. You couldn't stay away and now here we are all over again."

Hugo Strange was unable to stop the hum that left his lips as he watched them.  
Very interesting indeed.

"I will run this city." Fish stated, "I will see all of Gotham kneel before me."

Bird let out a small laugh as she shook her head.

"I still love you." Bird spoke with a rawness in her tone.

Fish stepped forward.  
Drawn in by openness in which Bird still spoke to her with after all this time.

She always had a way of doing that.  
Admitting something out loud that made the other person feel like they were sharing in secret and getting that close to her was some grand privilege.

"And I have missed you every single day since the night you died." She continued, "But you know my loyalty will always be with Oswald and if I have to kill you myself to keep him safe, then so be it."

Emotion glistened in Fish's eyes as she looked at Bird.

"There she is." Fish smiled, "Under the makeover and cooperate job… my little Bird is still in there. Savage as ever."

Stepping even closer, Fish leaned in and pressed a kiss to Bird's forehead, before reaching out and taking her chin in her hand, forcing the younger woman to look her in the eyes as she did.

"Still just a baby rattlesnake, never knowing how much venom to use." Fish repeated something she'd told her on several occasions before, "If I'd wanted Oswald dead, I'd have finished him off the night we crossed paths."

"Then why didn't-"

"Shh…" Fish shushed.  
Leaning in and nearly closing the distance between them, still holding Bird's chin in her hand, Fish was so close that her lips just barely brushed against Bird's mouth as she reminded her, "I'm on a tight schedule here. Am I really going to have _make you_ help me?"

"No." Bird softly said back, staying in place for another moment before pulling away and walking over to the door of the glass room.

Strange backed away from the door as it opened and Fish stepped in with Bird just steps behind her.

"If… if…" Strange stammered, trying to put more distance between them. Ever the coward.  
"If I could help you, I would. I think of you as one of my own children, but I can't."

"So what am I supposed to do?" Fish threw her arm out to the sides, "Give up?"

"Do you not understand what you are?" What you represent?" Strange asked with a cautious step forward, "You're the first of your kind. A new generation. A new Eve."

"He always knows more than what he's saying." Bird lowly said, her hate filled gaze heavy on Strange as she spoke.

"You know I owned a club once." Fish began, "Ran protection on the side. Every first of the month, people would pay me. Every once in a while, someone would come up short."  
Glancing over her shoulder to where Bird was standing, Fish asked, "Remember that, Bird?"

"I do." She nodded stepping up beside former boss, "One excuse after another."

For the time being they were on the same side once again.

"Mooney, I don't have the money." Fish remembered those excuses too, "Mooney, I need more time." She slowly walked forward, one foot in front of the other. "And they'd cry and cry."

When Strange ran out of space to back away from her, he had no choice but to stand still and fearfully watch as she reached out towards his neck.

"And then I discovered when I squeezed them and squeezed them and squeezed them… they always had more." Her hand trembled just inches away from his neck, until she finally dropped it and tears filled her eyes.

"You are going to fix me." Her voice shook with emotion, but the expression on her face was nothing but determination, "Or I swear to god, I will make you pray for your death-"

"Fish." Nancy said as she entered the room once again with an urgent tone in her voice.

"What are the cops doing now?"

"It's not the cops. Cobblepot is outside and Marv spotted James Gordon looking for a way inside." Nancy said, giving an abrupt nod before turning and exiting the room to go back to her job of keeping guard.

•••

Jim quietly made his way through the downstairs of the mansion. He'd passed the body of one of the guards a few hallways back.

He'd expected to hear talking. To follow the sounds of life to whichever rooms Fish and her minions would be hiding away in.

But there was nothing.

Just silence.  
So much so that he's began to wonder if they hadn't already found a way to flee the scene.

That was until he heard movement behind him and heard a gun cock just behind his ear.

"You killed a lot of our friends, Gordon." Sid said, adjusting his grip on the gun.

"Well, your friends had it coming." He gruffly answered.

"So do you." Nancy threatened behind the mouthpiece distorting her voice.

"That's enough!" Fish called out as she opened the double door to the room she was in, "Bring him in."

Jim didn't put up a fight as the pair led him into the room where was Fish was.

"Jim!" Bullock called out as he saw his friend and former partner, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Saving you. I thought that was obvious." He answered as he scanned the room before his eyes landed on Bird who was standing next to Hugo Strange and Fish, the trio stood just outside of the glass lab now.

"Oh, yeah." Bullock scoffed, "Totally. Thank you."

Jim glanced over at Bullock, seeing his hands were bound with rope in front of him and then over to Bird who didn't have any restraints on her at all.

For a second, time went in reverse and there he was years ago, unable to fully determine which side she was truly on.

"Why are you here, Gordon?" Fish demanded to know, annoyance in her voice, "Did your little cop friends send you to get me to turn myself in? Cause that's not going to happen."

"I'm here on my own." Jim insisted.

"Really?" Fish didn't seem to buy his story, "You'd risk your life for this broken down old thing?" She waved her hand in Bullock's direction.

"Thanks." Bullock grumbled under his breath.

"He'd do the same for me." Jim reasoned.

"Well, you've helped me because now I have three hostages." Fish held up three fingers as she spoke.

Jim argued with her that Barnes' wouldn't see it that way; admitting that he'd been nothing but a pain in the captains ass and he'd probably send Fish a thank you card if she did away with him.

"Then you better give me one good reason why I shouldn't have my friends kill you." Fish said, as she stepped up to Jim.

Bird side-stepped closer to where Strange was standing; just in case.  
If need be she would threaten the professor's life to bargain for Jim's.

"Because I can get you out of here." Jim wagered. He hadn't only came armed with the gun they'd taken off of him, he'd also had a plan in mind.

"And exactly how do you plan to do that, considering this whole place is surrounded?" Fish asked.

"If I get you out of here, you give me them and we walk away. That's the deal." Jim said.

"I get this one." Fish bargained, pointing to Hugo Strange.

"Wait…" He breathed looking around the room, "Wait a second-"  
The end of his sentence was cut short when Bird roughly elbowed him in the ribs and told him to shut up.

"Deal." Jim agreed.

"All this for that old drunk?" Fish seemed amused as she eyed Bullock.

"I said them." Jim repeated. "I'm not leaving without Bird."

"Come again?" Fish took a few steps back.  
Her eyes darting between Jim and Bird.

"I'm not leaving without her." Jim said louder this time.  
His voice showing there was no way in hell he was backing down.

"Oh…" Fish breathed with a realization, "That's right. I heard about you two. Thought that was in the past now?"

Spinning around, she wagged a finger in front of Bird's face and reminded her, "Didn't I warn you against ever falling in love. Nothing but heartache and misery." Shaking her head, Fish added, "Though you never did listen to me."

Bird stared back at her, but didn't say anything.

Bullock awkwardly cleared his throat and glanced around the room,while Jim's eyes had focused in on a stain on the floor.

"Oh?" Fish let out a laugh of surprise and clapped her hands together once, feeling the tension building in the room and knowing how uncomfortable they both were. "If he didn't break your heart then that means…" Turning back to face Jim, Fish continued, "She broke yours."

"Do we have a deal or what?" Jim pushed. He didn't have the time or patience to deal with this right now.

"Oh, don't be that way." Fish teased with her lips in a pout, "She broke mine too, you know."

Bird didn't say anything and instead of looking towards Jim, she stared straight ahead to the light switch on the far wall as Fish ran her fingers through Bird's hair, petting down her hair.

"My favorite." She cooed, thinking Bird's hair was a lighter shade than she remembered it being, "And my greatest disappointment."

Letting her hand fall down Bird's back, Fish paused as she glanced around the room before stepping closer to Jim once again and holding up to fingers as she agreed, "You've got two minutes."

Reaching into his pocket for his cellphone, Jim stole a glance at Bird as he brushed by her on his way to step out of the room, but she didn't return the glance.  
Instead she seemed to be putting an effort into not making eye contact with him.

Feeling his phone buzzing in his pocket, Oswald stepped away from the crowd still shouting at the police and paused when he saw it was Jim who was calling him.

"Jim." Oswald greeted, "You just keep surprising me."

"Shut up." Jim breathed into the phone.  
He completely believed Fish when she told him he only had two minutes to follow through with his end of the bargain

"How's Bird?" Oswald's jaw tensed.  
Would it really kill Jim to be polite every once in a while.

"Alive." Jim answered, not wasting anymore time before cutting to the chase, "How'd you like to have Fish all to yourself."

"Don't tease."

"She'll be in the woods behind the mansion in five minutes. All you have to do is one thing."

Oswald's gloved hand gripped the phone tighter. Excitement coursing through his system. "Name it."

Jim told him how he'd need to create a diversion. Possibly even insight a riot, so Barnes would be forced to call all the officers on the scene to the front to deal with the mob of people.  
In turn, opening up the back exit of the mansion for Fish to make her escape.

"People are trying to break in through the front!" Marv announced, barely a minute after Jim had returned from making his phone call, "But the back is clear now. We can make it through the woods."

He reached out a gloved hand in Fish's direction to usher her to safety.

Jim caught sight of the white gloves on his hands and wondered if he was the one with the abilities who'd aged Ethel Peabody up to her death.

Someone like that definitely needed to be locked back up inside of Arkham -or dead.  
Either way he needed to be off the streets and if it wasn't for the delicate situation they were all standing in with lives on the line of people important to him, then Jim would have made a move.

"Time to go." Fish nodded to Marv to take Hugo Strange before nodding to Sid and Nancy and ordering, "You two hold them off as long as you can."

Bird looked over to where the two were standing at the doors, weapons at the ready.

They were going to die.

Bird was sure of it.

They'd probably take several members of the angry mob out before, but no abilities that Strange had given them would be enough for them to win against a group that big.

Her eyes squinted some at them.  
Did they know they were literally minutes away from death?

Or did they think they really stood a chance and would make it out alive to meet up with Fish later.

Bird looked over to where Fish was standing.  
There was a time when she'd have done the very same thing.  
Agreed to hold off someone long enough for Fish to make it to safety.

She'd have done so without question or second thoughts.

"Harvey, no hard feelings?" Fish seemed almost gleeful in being so close to escaping.

"Fish…" Harvey shook his head and looked down as Jim was helping unbind his hands of the rope, "Screw you!" He loudly called out to her.

"Fair enough." She winked and jutted a shoulder in his direction just before she reached down and grabbed onto Bird's arm.

"Hey, hey. Wait!" Jim angrily yelled stepping forward, "The deal was I leave with both of them-"

"Was that what we agreed on?" Fish played innocent.

"You heard your guy-" Jim motioned towards Marv, "He said the back was clear. You'll be able to slip right out. What do you need Bird for?"

"Insurance." Fish smiled widely, "Forgive me if I'm not so quick to trust. I've been hurt in the past, you see, and I'm questioning your true motives, Gordon."

"Don't worry." Fish continued, "I'll let go once we're in the clear. She's a big girl, she can find her way back."

"No-" Jim started to protest again.

"If we're going, let's go." Bird said looking over to Fish and still not making eye contact with Jim, "Before they bust the doors down."

Maybe there was still a small part of her willing to put her life on the line for her old boss.

"Bird?" Jim stared at her, but all he got in return was quick glance back over her shoulder as she was being ushered from the room.

Fish let go of Bird when they were outside. She needed both hands and arms free to better keep her balance as they stumbled through the uneven ground of the woods in the dark.

They traveled at a speed too fast to be called walking and not quite fast enough to be labeled a run for a few minutes until they were all brought to a stop by the sound of a gun cocking.

They looked up to see Oswald with a gun.

No angry mob.  
No henchman.  
Not even Butch was with him.

He was by himself. This was something far too personal to include anyone else.

"Bird." Oswald greeted, "Hello, old friend."  
His lips were in a tight smile, stretched over his teeth as he fought for his breath in the unusually humid night air.

"Oswald." She managed a small smile over her own, "Still angry with me?" She questioned. Her gaze going briefly to the gun.

"No." He answered with a one shoulder shrug, he tossed his head to the side and admitted, "I got over it."

Oswald's eyes moved over Fish's face and then to Hugo Strange, before he stopped on Marv and ordered, "Go!"

The older man stumbled in place some. Wanting to run for safety and feeling torn about abandoning Fish at gunpoint.

Fish gave him a small nod, letting him know it was okay to leave.  
She didn't have to tell him twice either.  
He turned and scurried away into the night like a rat seeking shelter in the sewers.

"That's better." Oswald smiled, unable to contain his excitement or hold still. He appeared to be rocking from side to side as he lined the sight of gun on Fish, "Just us old friends now."

"Oswald…" Fish began.  
The sound of her voice, the way her tongue traced the letters brought back everything all at once.

For a split second it felt like nothing had changed.  
Like he was still a lowly umbrella boy who was the laughing stock of the dive bar.

"Don't call me that!" He hissed, "My name is Penguin!"

Adjusting his grip on the gun, he asked, "Do you know how long I've been looking for you? How long I've waited for this very moment-"

"Mr. Cobblepot-" Strange started an attempt to plead for his own life to be spared.

"Quiet!" Oswald yelled at him.

"Oswald-" Bird let out a small sigh.  
The kind she did when she was disappointed in him or the way she'd start a conversation she knew he wouldn't like.

"Shut up." He ordered.

"You shut up." Bird snapped back taking a step forward, her face twisting in the moonlight, "Don't talk to me that way."

Closing his eyes and pulling in a deep breath, he finally looked back at her and said, "Of course. My apologies, Bird. But this really isn't a good time."

"So this is it?" Fish held her hands out to the sides.  
Oswald's eyes fell to where her hand was close to Bird's arm. One wrong move, he thought, if she tried to grab Bird and use her abilities on her then he'd shoot her on the spot.

"I spare your life and you shoot me dead in the woods like an animal?" Fish continued.

"Pretty much, yes!" He laughed.  
The corners of his smile turning up into sharp points.

But he couldn't deny how much it had haunted him, the night she'd let him live.

It never made any sense to him. If the roles had been reversed he'd had killed her without so much as a second thought.

The questions had kept him up at night and at times knotted his stomach so bad he could barely keep tea down.

"Why?" Oswald couldn't stop himself from asking, "Why didn't you kill me?"  
He stepped closer, his limp even more noticeable on the uneven and tree root raised patches of ground.

The limp she'd give him.

He could remembering the searing pain when she'd hit him so hard she'd broken the chair she was using to beat him.

The crack of the bones.

His leg hadn't healed right. Something didn't set right with his bones afterwards.  
How could it have? He was on the run for his life. Not like he could check himself into a hospital.

Now he was left with a limp.  
He hobbled around now.

Every single day he still felt the pain of what she'd done to him.

"I've gone over that night. Under the bridge a thousand times and it just doesn't make any sense." He continued.

He was now in front of her, the gun close enough that he did briefly wonder if Bird would try to knock it out of his hand. But she didn't move.

"Why didn't you kill me?" He repeated. This time his voice was more frantic.  
It was something he wanted to know; no, something he had to know before she died for the second time, "I would have killed you in a second. Answer me!"

"Because you're mine." Fish looked him over, her gaze stopping as it locked with his reddened eyes.

"You were my umbrella boy, remember?" Fish's posture slouched ever so slightly, "You rubbed my feet when they were tired. And now look at you; the terror of of Gotham. Out of everything I've done in my life. Possibly the best thing was turning Oswald Cobblepot into The Penguin."

"I couldn't destroy that." She continued, nodding towards Strange, "Ask him. He understands what it is to bring something into being. It is a part of you… forever."

Strange nodded in agreement and the woods fell into near silence. Just the sounds of leaves rustling and crickets chirping echoed around them.

Not a single one of them had fully dry eyes now.  
All of them feeling something in their own way.

"Goodbye, Fish." Oswald's eyes glistened and his vision blurred, "Don't come back."

With that he lowered his head and closed his eyes. Listening to the sounds of footsteps speed past him and disappear out into the darkness behind him.

"And they say people can't change." Bird softly said, giving her best friend a small, yet sad smile when he opened his eyes to look at her.

"For a moment…" Oswald cleared his throat, stepped closer to where Bird was standing, "I thought you might try to stop me."

"You should've known better." Bird shook her head and reminded him, "I stand by you. Always."

Oswald nodded, still biting back emotion on his end. His eyes kept going to the ground.

Stepping closer, Bird wrapped her arms around him.  
There was not even a second of hesitation on his end when he held back onto her.

He felt more at peace now.  
Knew why Fish had let him live, though it was an answer he'd never anticipated.  
But it had been a very long night; an endless one that had taxed him far more than he'd expected.

"What's going on?" Jim asked them, slowing to a stop from the jog he'd done through the woods in search of Bird.

His face contorted with utter confusion as he'd found Bird and Oswald hugging each other in the middle of the woods.

"Where…" He pulled in a breath, "Where's Fish."

"Gone." Oswald answered as he stepped back from Bird and gave her a smile before turning and walking away back towards the front of the mansion.

"What happened?" Jim questioned as he walked up to Bird but looked in the direction Oswald had disappeared in.

"It doesn't matter." Bird dismissed, not answering a single one the questions he'd asked. "Looks like you're not getting that million dollar bounty though. Sorry."

Jim's eyebrows lowered as he turned back to face her.  
He didn't have the first clue as to what happened in the woods with Fish and he was getting the feeling that he never would.

"Where are you going?" He questioned when Bird turned and started to walk away from him.  
She was standing right there with him, but she felt distant.

"I don't know." She answered without making an effort to stop.

Her insides were churning. She felt hot and sick.

Unstable in every sense of the word.

She felt like she'd been doing good since she made it back to Gotham. All things considered, she'd thought she slid back into her life fairly easily.

But now it felt like she was standing on a carpet that was slowly being pulled out from under her.  
Her footing was slipping and there weren't any guard rails to keep her from going over.

There was a numbness starting to crawl up from her fingertips and toes; sure to engulf her whole body in matter of minutes.

A black hole opened and was sucking her inside of it; she had no real idea what had triggered it.

Maybe it was seeing Fish again.  
Or knowing she let Strange walk away when she should have killed him.

A few days ago she'd met Butch for lunch under the pretext of catching up, but really it had been to quiz him about what Oswald had been up to since she'd left Gotham.

Apparently in her absence he'd been spending a large amount of time visiting Edward Nygma in Arkham and now considered him to be a close friend.

That must be it, she thought, it must be everything.  
How much things had changed.

Even knowing she was in a better place in her own life now, didn't stop stop her from feeling nostalgic for the way it used to be.

She still dreamed about it.  
Actually had dreams of working in Fish's club, reliving all the conversations she'd had with Oswald there.

Dreams of her first apartment; of her tiny crowded kitchen and the fireplace she'd burnt up so much crime scene evidence in.

She even dreamed from time to time about that damn cat who'd get into her apartment when she'd leave the windows open from the fire escape and she hated that thing. She'd named him Shark, because of his bloodthirst.  
Always leaving dead birds and trails of blood on the floor inside of the windows. Bird had taken it as a direct threat and finally stopped opening her windows to keep the cat out.

Now she found herself wondering every now and then if Shark had survived the bomb that blew her building up or if he was really a stray cat or belonged to someone else in the building.

She hated dreaming about how her life used to be, because the dreams were never exciting or out of the ordinary.  
Which really only made it feel more real and left her to wake up in her room at her townhouse in a state of confusion and unsure where she was for a short time.

Jim walked behind Bird as she walked further into the woods; deeper into the darkness.

When she passed through a small clearing that let in a surprising amount of moonlight to illuminate the area he looked down and saw she'd resumed the nervous tic she'd developed before fleeing town.  
Rubbing her finger and thumb together. The wounds she'd created had since scarred over, but it looked like she was on the way to reopening them.

"Hey…" He sped up to reach her, catching the toe of his shoe on an exposed tree root and nearly falling, but he regained his balance in time to keep from kissing the ground, "Bird!"

She didn't hear him; hadn't even been aware she was being followed.  
That's always the problem with being too deep inside of your head; you tend to pull out of the rest of the world.

It wasn't until she felt some resistance on her arm, which brought her to a stop that she realized Jim was still there with her. And had grabbed onto her hand to bring her to a stop.

"What is it?" He questioned, his eyes traveling over her face as she turned back to look at him, "What's going on?" He pushed.

There was a confused expression on her face.

As if she either didn't understand why he'd been following her or didn't even know what she was doing out there in the first place.

When she saw him looking at her hand, she pulled it from his grip to see what he was looking at.  
That's when she saw the red marks starting to form over the smooth scar tissue.  
She hadn't even felt it. Wasn't even aware she'd started to hurt herself again.

Looking back at his concerned face, Bird realized he was really waiting for an answer.

What could she even say?

Tell him that she think she missed working at Fish's club and being the only person Oswald had to turn to?  
That she was feeling nostalgic for her old life?

Yeah, that would go over real well.  
She nearly laughed.

"Bird?" Jim stepped closer.  
The concern on his face was now present in his voice as he watched her eyes seem to glaze over.

He wasn't sure where she was, but it sure didn't feel like she was standing there in the woods with him.

"It's just a lot." She gave a weak laugh and pinned a smile on her face for his sake, "It's just been a really long day."

"Yeah." Jim agreed, even though her answer wasn't really an answer to his questions at all, "It really has."

They stood in silence.  
Him watching her and her trying to think of something else to say.

Reaching into his pocket he pulled out her cellphone and offered it up to her.  
A silent explanation of why his own day had felt very long; he'd spent a good chunk of it worried about her and knowing she'd been abducted.

She opened her mouth to thank him.  
If not for returning her phone than for being the one who found it and caring enough to come looking for her. Not many people would have.

"We should go." He nodded back behind him in the direction they'd walked from, "Get out of here."

He didn't like the idea of her being alone, not with the way she was acting.  
Plus, there was a part of him worried she might take off again.  
And what if this time she didn't come back?

"Go where?" Bird looked up from where she'd looked back down to her cellphone. Her head cocked to the side as she waited on an answer.

Her body language immediately causing Jim feel like no matter what he said next was going to be the wrong answer.

She'd gone from looking hopeless and lost to angry and feral in a split second.

"Back to your place or my place… for a drink?" She questioned, "A bar?"

"No-"

"Really?" She argued without hearing his side, "Isn't that where you're spending all your of time now?"

"I… I can't do that." Bird continued, "Because one drink will turn into two and then three and then four… and then I won't stop. Not when I feel the way I do right now. And then I can't sleep so I'll take something to help, but then I'll need something to wake me up so I'm not walking around in a drowsy fog."

He'd had it all wrong.  
In the message he'd left her, that no matter how bad things had gotten with them, that she didn't have to leave.

But she did.  
She had to leave to save herself, because she still remembered how it felt to wake up every single day suicidal enough to wish she'd just die already, but not suicidal enough to off herself.

"I didn't need you to tell me that everything falling apart between us wasn't only my fault, Jim." She tossed her arms out to the sides, nearly dropping her newly returned cellphone as she did, "I already knew it wasn't all on me."

Jim didn't say anything.  
In some ways he'd been waiting on this.

Waiting on her to stop the politeness, like showing up at his shack of a house and trying to say it was nice.

She'd clearly been mad at him for quite some time, but had been walking on eggshells around it, not wanting to make him feel worse than he already did.

Maybe a part of him even wanted or needed her to lay the blame on him.

"I came back for you that night, did you know that?" Bird finally admitted out loud, "After the fight we got into. I came back to tell you that I had to get out of Gotham and that I wanted you to come with me. But you weren't home. And I sat down and waited for close to an hour and you didn't come back. Where were you?" She pushed, "A bar?"

"Yeah." He admitted. His voice hoarse.

"Yeah." She repeated back with a dry laugh, "And that's when I knew I could either stay and drown with you or I could swim to shore. And so I left. I grabbed my go bag from the back of the closet, I'd packed one for each of us months before that, just in case."  
Running her tongue over her lips, she finished, "And I didn't look back, because I couldn't, Jim."

With that, she brushed past him, back towards the mansion. Back they way they came.

But he stayed still. Standing in the exact same spot she'd left him.

He didn't know she'd come back to the house that night.  
Maybe if he hadn't been so quick to rush off for a drink, then he would have.

When he was packing up this belongings to move out of her townhouse, he'd found the go bag she'd packed for him. The one she'd just mentioned.

At the time he didn't realize that was what it was.  
He'd chalked it up to her starting to pack his things up because she'd probably had enough and was going to tell him to leave

He'd heard a saying once, that life can really be understood in reverse; there was no denying the truth in that.

Looking back to the months before Bird had left Gotham, everything was painted in a different light now.

The times he'd thought she done something because she felt bad for him -like when she got him the gig working security for some Wayne Enterprises events.  
He saw now that wasn't out of pity.

Jim had spent so long being angry at Bird for leaving, but he wasn't anymore.

He couldn't be.

They were both sinking.  
Stuck on a boat taking in more water by the second and he hadn't even realized it.

But she did.

And she saved herself.  
How could he stay mad at her for that?

Especially when it was also now crystal clear that she'd spent weeks trying to save him before he was even aware of the free fall his life had turned into.

•••

* * *

 **A/N - Thank you for reading! I really hope everyone enjoyed the chapter.  
I'm really trying to keep the updates coming even though I feel like I spend all my time at work anymore. Lol**

 **I want to give a shout-out and special thanks to: xenocanaan, ThatMysteriousSlime,** **AGBreads, SmellYourScentForMiles, Love. Fiction. 2018, Miss Victoria 20, Shadow knight1121, amelia, Havana, DancingDorisDay, xxXWolfsLullabyXxx and to the Guests who were kind enough to leave a review on chapter 2.**

 **I'd really appreciate it if you'd take the time to leave a review and let me know what you thought. :)**


	4. Somebody Else

**IV - Somebody Else**

" _That's the worst way to miss somebody. When they're right beside you and you miss them anyway." - Pittacus Lore, I Am Number Four_

* * *

•••

Bird stared out of the window in her car as her driver made his way through the morning traffic.  
She was scooted down in her seat some watching the other cars and city buildings blur by.

It was days like today that Bird had a hard time understanding how the rest of the world seemed to function.

Days like today where she'd much rather have stayed in bed. Even if sleep was evading her again. Laying around her house sounded much better than having to get up, shower and pretend to be human.

The last few days had been nothing but a mess.

She hadn't seen or spoken to Jim since they'd parted ways in the woods behind the mansion where the F.B.I. had been holding Strange.

She'd gotten a call on her landline phone the night before but when she'd answered, the other person had hung up.  
Her first thought was maybe it was Jim, but now she felt like maybe that was more hopeful thinking on her end.

Oswald had confided in her his plans to challenge Mayor James in the upcoming election and she'd promised to help him as much as she could.

But top of the list of what was currently weighing heavily on her mind was 514A.  
Subject 514A, that was.

Another Arkham escapee -who also happened to be an exact clone of Bruce.

She'd been at Wayne Manor the night 514A had found his way there.  
He seemed just as confused as to why he looked like Bruce as the rest of them were.

He'd been a test subject at Indian Hill, who'd escaped on the same bus that Fish had.

Alfred had argued that they needed to turn him over to someone, but Bruce had argued that clone or not, 514A was a person and should have the rights any other person would.  
He didn't want to see him locked back up somewhere and tested on.

Bird wasn't sure where she stood in that argument.  
Her first and foremost concern was for her brother of course and she didn't want some clone of his running around the city and making trouble for Bruce.

But, 514A looked just like her brother. His voice was a little different and his hair hadn't been cut in years, but the face was nearly identical and because of that, she wasn't sure she could stomach turning him over to someone and not knowing what would happen.

So the trio had fed the clone, let him shower and gave him some clean clothes to wear until they could figure out what they were going to do with him.

The last time she'd spoke to Bruce on the phone the day before, he'd filled her in on the latest developments with 514A, who Bird had started calling 'Five'.

Five had been wandering Wayne Manor again and stumbled upon Bruce and Alfred boxing.  
Bruce had given him his gloves and let him have an turn.

Despite claiming to have no prior training, Five had caught on quickly and landed some blows with Alfred.  
Bruce told Bird that he was quicker than your average person and stronger too.

Which only caused Bird to remember back to trying to fight Azrael and finding it physically impossible with the enhanced speed and strength he had after Professor Strange's experiments on him.

But that wasn't all Bruce had shared with her.  
Apparently Five also didn't feel physical pain.

He'd gotten burnt and didn't feel it. Alfred had landed a direct hit to his face, causing the clone to have a severe nose bleed and Five claimed it didn't hurt at all. That he hadn't even felt it.

"Miss Wayne."

Bird blinked a few times, resisted the urge to rub her eyes, knowing she'd only manage to smear and smudge her make up if she did.

Catching her driver's eye in the rear-view mirror, she gave a single nod, letting him know she was ready.

He got out of the car and came around to the back, opened her door and she stepped out onto the sidewalk. Pausing for a moment to eye the cafe, before adjusting her dress and heading inside.

"Bird!"

Hearing her name, Bird looked over until she spotted the one she was there to meet.

She had a fleeting thought of turning to leave, but instead she pushed her sunglasses up on her head and walked over to the small table.

"I wasn't sure you were going to come." Lee admitted as she politely stood to greet her.

"Why wouldn't I?" Bird questioned as she sat down and added, "We're family after all."

Unsure of how to take the comment, Lee let out a small nervous laugh and sat back down in her seat.

"Thank you for meeting me." Lee continued, "I thought meeting on neutral land would be better than showing up at your door."

"Scared of me?" Bird arched a brow.  
Again, leaving Lee completely unsure how to respond to her.

It was difficult to tell sometimes if Bird was being playful and funny, or somewhat mean and vaguely threatening.

"No." Lee answered with a tight smile before asking, "Should I be?"

"Of course not." Bird answered a little too quickly for it to be completely believable.

Their conversation paused when the waitress came over and Bird ordered a cold brewed iced coffee with sweet vanilla creme.

"I just meant, maybe it would be a little less awkward with just the two of us meeting somewhere over being at your house, you know…" She stopped to take a drink of her latte, "With Jim there."

Bird then realized she clearly thought they were still together.

"Right." Bird gave a single nod. Deciding she wasn't going to get into how she and Jim were technically not together anymore, "Sooo…" Bird drew the word out, "What did you want to meet for?"

"I just…" Lee breathed. Pulling in a deep breath and realizing that having this conversation in real life was far more difficult than she imaged when she'd rehearsed it over in her mind.

"I owe you an apology." She finally said. Letting the words out in a single exhale.

Knowing what she did of Bird, she'd expected it to be immediately shot down or even expected Bird to break out in one of those laughs she had that made her look like the craziest person in the room.

But instead, Bird took a dink of her iced coffee through the straw of her cup and stared back at her with a near blank expression.

"I'm sorry." Lee repeated.  
This time slower. More heartfelt.

"For what, Lee?" Bird questioned.  
Her face slowly twisting up into a confused expression.

Lee looked at her. Her eyes going to the bruised and split skin on her cheek that was still in the process of healing.

She wondered what happened; but she didn't ask.

"For the things I said to you that night-" Lee paused to take another drink, but a sudden sick feeling rose up in her stomach and she cleared her throat and sat her cup back down on the table, "You know…"

Lee's tinted red lips angled down at the corners.  
It was clear that she didn't want to make eye contact, but she forced herself to anyways.

She didn't need to finish her sentence. They both knew very well which night she was talking about.

The night Jim had been sentenced to Blackgate for the murder of Officer Pinkney.  
The night he'd gotten Bird to bribe the guards like she'd done in the past; only this time to bring Lee there.

The night he'd broken up with Lee. Turned his back on both his fiance and their unborn child.

It was a dark stain in Lee's life -a dark stain on her mind that still haunted her. Not only because of the heartache she'd felt, but because of all she'd lost shortly after that.

Surprisingly another event of that night had stayed with her; the way she'd treated Bird.

Once they were back at her apartment, she'd turned and let everything out. Directed every negative emotion coursing through her veins at the wrong person.

It was so much easier to blame someone else and the person that just happened to be standing there that night was Bird.

She couldn't remember every nasty thing she'd said to her, but she could recall some of it. Most of it.

Blame, mainly.

She'd accused her of things. Blamed her for how everything had ended up.

"Oh, that?" Bird arched a brow, "Already forgotten."

She offered a small shrug to sell the nonchalance even better.

Bird took another sip of her coffee.  
Directed her gaze over to the glass front display case of freshly baked pastries and pretended she was trying to make her mind up if she wanted something to eat too.

In reality that night had messed her up more than she'd ever admit to anyone -especially Lee.

If she was forced to be entirely honest, a part of her was still mad at Jim for ever involving her in that. Especially considering he didn't give her a heads up as to why he wanted her to bring Lee there.

It wasn't fair.  
And she'd told him that.

That first day he was in Blackgate, when she and Bullock went to see him, she'd told him how mad she was. That it wasn't fair he involved her in that.

He knew it. Apologized, but said it was the only option he'd had.

It might have been their relationship that ended that night.  
But it was Bird who'd found herself browsing the isles of a liquor store and drinking until she couldn't feel a damn thing anymore.

The memories still made her cringe.  
She'd ended up on the floor outside of Bullock's apartment; where he told her she'd admitted in her drunken stupor that she and Jim had kissed.

"Bird." Lee said, drawing her attention again, "I really am sorry-"

"Wow." Bird observed. Seeming a tad bit amused at the repeated apology attempts, "This is still eating at you?"

When Lee didn't say anything. Bird offered up another shrug and said quietly, "You aren't mean to people very often, huh?"

Bird turned her head, glanced around the small cafe and then looked back at Lee, who was still watching her. Waiting for something.

If she were a better person, Bird thought, she might have told Lee that while ninety percent of what she'd said that night was out of line; there was some truth in it.

Maybe she'd have even admitted they'd kissed well before Jim and Lee had broken up.  
Or maybe she'd have owned up to being much closer to him that she should have been there.

But she wasn't.  
And she didn't.

"Look." Bird finally made eye contact with her, "Water under the bridge. I don't think about it and you shouldn't either."

"Really?" Lee's eyebrows jolted up, "You're not upset with me?"

"No-"

"Because the way you rushed back to Gotham from Miami…" Lee's shoulders dropped, "I thought you were trying to get away from me."

A year ago, Bird would have laughed. Confidently said she's not the person who runs away from things, but it wasn't so true anymore.

Because that's what she was doing in Miami in the first place; running away from her problems in Gotham.

"It was just time for me to come back home." Bird grabbed her drink and stood up, in one fluid motion.

"I know that Don Falcone is your father -and I just hated to think that you rushed off from spending time with him because I showed up with Mario." Lee said.

She scrambled to get to her feet now that Bird was standing. The metal legs of the chair she was in scraped against the floor, drawing eyes in their direction.

"It had nothing to do with you." Bird all but promised.

Opening her clutch bag, Bird pulled out some money and laid it on the table. More than enough to cover both their coffees and a generous tip.  
She hated feeling like she owed anyone anything. Even the price of a drink.

••• **a few days later •••**

Bird ducked into the doors of her favorite restaurant between the few people trying to walk out and the man who was going inside.

She'd quickly slid in between them all while the doors were wide open, just barely brushing a shoulder against someone as she did.

Barely even looking up, she made her way over to her usual booth, slowing a stop when she did glance up just in time to see someone was already sitting in it.

For a brief second her face scrunched into a scowl; as if not getting her usual seat had ruined her entire day.

Though it really had been one of those weeks where everything that had gone wrong felt like the end of the world.

She was just about to turn and leave when she caught sight of the arm of a leather jacket hanging off the edge of the padded booth seat next to the person.

Pulling in a breath, she shook her head.  
Jim. It was Jim.

Sitting right there in the same restaurant, at the very same booth they'd always sit in.  
This place was too far out of the way of his new house and close to hers.

Making it clear he hadn't just been passing by and decided to drop in because he missed the bacon burgers and famous seasoned waffle cut fries.  
He was there on purpose. Expecting her to be there.

And even though he hadn't turned around or acknowledged her presence, she knew him well enough to know he already knew she was there.  
It would be all too obvious if she left now.

So instead, she blew out the breath she'd been holding and shrugged out of her own jacket just before taking her seat across from him.

"Nice picture." Jim commented, not looking up from the paper he was reading.

Bird could clearly see the article he was reading was the one next to a picture of her handing out clothes at one of the shelters.

Promotional shots of course.  
All good for public relations.

Somehow this was supposed to make the work they were doing seem more important.  
As if the image of her passing out clothes or food to the downtrodden would really make a difference.

As if anyone in Gotham was going to see that and believe that is how she spent her days.

"What are you doing here, Jim?" Bird asked as she reached for the glass of strawberry lemonade that had been waiting on her and opened the straw wrapper.  
Apparently he was very confident in his thinking that she was going to be there that night.

So much so that he'd already ordered for them.  
Would have looked awfully pathetic on his end if she'd picked somewhere else for dinner that night.

"Waiting on you." He admitted, lowering the paper and then laying it over to the side.

"Why?" Bird asked.

Jim watched her.

She wasn't watching him back. Instead she'd gotten to work on shredding the paper straw wrapper into nothing short of a fifty small pieces; just like she always did.

Deep down he had countless reasons as to why he was there right now.

Wanting to see her was at the top of the list.  
He was still bothered by the last time they'd seen each other in the woods; her words still echoing around in his mind.

Then there was the fact that she hadn't reached out to him since then either.  
Not that he'd been so receptive when she had, but it still got under his skin.

There were things he wanted to tell her.  
Show her even.

Like how his house was mostly dry now. He'd gotten rid of the newest round of bottles he'd picked up.

He'd been trying to keep himself busy by taking on a new case acting as a private investigator.

Small steps.  
But they were still a change from where he had been.

But he couldn't.  
Just couldn't bring himself to start the dinner with any of that.

So instead he pushed a small, dark color photo across the table to her and asked, "You know this woman?"

Picking the photo up, Bird eyed it for a few seconds before laying it back down and sliding it back to him, "Her name is Alice. Why?"

"A new case I'm working." Jim admitted, "Selina said she thought she'd saw her at one of the shelters Wayne Enterprises opened, months back, right after the Arkham Escape."

Bird watched as he took a drink of his soda, unable to hide her surprise that he wasn't drinking at least a beer.

"Thought I'd check with you." He cocked his head to the side, "See if you knew her."

Right after the Arkham Escape is when Bird had been spending a lot of time in the actual shelters and less time in her office, since the shelters were newly opened at the time.

If she'd had more energy or felt even a smidgen more playful, she'd have acted offended that apparently the only reason he'd finally came to see her was because he was working a new case.

But she was too tired for that.  
Plus, she hoped this could be a good thing for him.  
Give him some purpose again.

"What all do you know about her?" He pushed.

"That her name is Alice." Bird shrugged, "I don't know her last name. She wasn't exactly the sharing type…" She seemed to suddenly process what he'd said earlier, "Wait? You're saying she's one of Strange's monsters?"

"Damn." Bird stirred her drink with her straw. The ice clinked against the glass cup. "She looked so normal."

"Her last name is Tetch." Jim filled her in, "Strange didn't turn her into anything. Her brother is looking for her, he's the one who hired me. According to him she's got something wrong with her blood. Some poison, rare. That's how Strange ended up with her."

"Hmm." Bird hummed with a thoughtful look on her face.

She remembered Alice. How timid she was. The scared of her own shadow type.

When she didn't offer up many personal details, Bird just assumed she was on the run from someone. More than likely a dangerous ex.

She hadn't considered the girl was verging on paranoid because Gotham was hunting down the Arkham Escapes. Like she'd told him; she just looked so normal.

"Do you know if she's still there?" Jim questioned, "Or if she's moved onto another shelter?"

"I don't know. I could try making a few calls…" Bird shrugged, "Why? How much is her brother paying you?"  
She knew GCPD was offering five-thousand a pop, so it must be considerably more if Jim agreed to work this privately for her brother.

"She lost her parents when she was really young. Her brother tried to get her help, but Strange tricked him and locked her away." Jim reiterated the story Jervis Tetch had shared with him, "Now she's out there alone and scared."

His eyes locked with hers and with a small nod he pleaded, "So you'll make those calls?"

•••

It was well after dark when Bird and Jim were cutting through an ally on a shortcut to get to The Narrow's Bar.

Which, according to the people Bird had reached out to was the last place anyone had spotted Alice Tetch.

She wasn't sure at which point during dinner she'd agreed to be his back-up during the search for Alice.

Replaying the dinner in her head, she wasn't even sure he'd actually asked.

Maybe she'd offered to help.

Maybe it was something unspoken instead.

Either way, here she was -spending her Friday night trekking through littered streets and dark alleys with Jim Gordon.

"You miss this?" Bird questioned.  
Bumping into Jim's side as she weaved to avoid walking into the corner of an old dumpster.

"Spending my Fridays with you?" Jim asked.

He didn't turn his head, but he watched her from the corner of his eye.

Giving a small shrug he joked, "A little."

Bird turned her head just in time to see the ghost of a smile on his face before it was gone.

"Are you trying to flirt with me?" Bird laughed.  
Shaking her head and clearing her throat she clarified, "I mean this-" She motioned around them, "Working cases. Tracking people down. Following leads."

"Just doing whatever pays the bills." Jim dismissed.  
He sniffed the air. The scent wasn't strong, wasn't fresh -but he smelled fire.

"Yeah, but that's not exactly true, is it?" Bird's voice had a touch of gravel in her tone.  
Sharper than it had been.

A result of his lie.  
His refusal to admit that he missed being a cop.

Coming to a stop just as they turned onto the street they needed, Jim turned to face her, a look of genuine confusion on his face at her sudden change in mood.

Bird's eyebrows raised.  
Maybe he'd really convinced himself that this was the truth. That all of this was just for the money.

Amazing how far a little denial can go.

She shook her head, deciding against accusing of him of lying and starting a fight.  
Not after they'd actually had a nice dinner together.

"It's down here." Bird jutted her thumb to the side.

"What the hell…" Jim breathed.

Bird looked over, watching as Jim moved closer to where the bar was.

Once a popular spot for a cheep liquor and decent jukebox tunes was now pitch black inside.

Windows were busted out and everything was covered in ash and soot.

Water was still standing on the sidewalk and shoulder of the street from where the fire department had put out the flames earlier that day.

"It's completely destroyed." Bird pointed out the obvious as she caught up with Jim outside of the bar.

"Recently so." He added; knowing it couldn't be a coincidence.

They exchanged looks before stepping into the building through one of the large front front windows that was missing it's glass.  
The shattered pieces crunched under their shoes.

Broken into smaller shards and resettling on the still wet floor.

They'd only made it a few steps inside when they heard a crash.

Whirling around, they both shined their flashlights in the direction of the noise to see it was just the housing of a ceiling light that had finally crashed to the floor.

Slowly, they moved through the main level of the once popular bar.

It had clearly been a bad fire and burned for quite some time.  
But also not the work of a seasoned arsonist either.

"If we find Alice. I get half of the reward money, right?" Bird questioned.

Jim, who had been looking at an old painting on the wall that had been burnt and melted into a rather eerie looking scene, looked over his shoulder to where Bird was kicking some debris out of her way on the floor.

"You want me to give you twenty-five hundred dollars?" He asked, biting back a laugh and trying to figure out her angle.

"Nice try." Bird flashed a smile in his direction, "But you already told me her brother gave you twice what GCPD pays the escapees. Meaning he gave you ten thousand."

Turning around to fully face her, Jim held his arms out to the side and pointed out, "I paid for dinner."

Fighting back a smile, Bird looked away from his face, "But the only reason we made it this far in the search is because of me."

Catching the sight of an open door in the hazy beam of her flashlight, Bird started walking towards it as she called over her shoulder to him, "If you're good at something; never do it for free."

They made their way down the stairs to the basement area, which seemed to pretty much be used as a storage space; aside from water damage wasn't harmed much by the fire.

Boxes were stacked on top of each other, some stacks reaching up to the ceiling.

Even with the scent of the fire still stuck to the walls, the old, musty smell of the basement was very noticeable.

The silence between them now was starting to get to Bird.

Since she'd seen him earlier that day she'd been wondering if he knew Lee was back in Gotham. If he knew she was engaged -and if he knew her fiance was actually Bird's older half-brother.

"So, uh…" Bird drew the vowel of the word out.

Jim, who was in front and slowly leading them through the path between boxes stacked up higher than their heads glanced back at her.

He wondered briefly if she was going to bring up the money again.

"Did you know Lee moved back to Gotham?" Bird questioned.  
Trying to keep her voice steady and like she was making casual conversation and not closely watching his reaction to her words.

"I know." He nodded.  
Looking over his shoulder and monitoring her reaction just as closely as she'd been watching him as he explained, "Barnes offered her her job as M.E. back."

Bird listened as he explained they'd ran into each other at the police station when he'd been there to pick up his latest bounty check for the Arkham escapees.

"So you know she's engaged?" Bird pushed.

"I heard." Jim gave another nod.

"To my brother?" Bird continued, quickly adding in, "Half-brother."

Jim was in the process of holding his hand up to silence her. He thought he'd heard a door open.

"Wait. What?" Jim asked, turning to face her.

"Mario." Bird's shoulders slouched some, "Falcone's son. My half-brother…who I knew about but didn't meet until a few months ago."

For the first time all night there was a real feeling of awkwardness in the silence that had settled between them.

There it was, that rumble inside of Bird that started moments before a laugh would break fee.  
An unstable sounding, usually inappropriately timed laugh.

Reaching up with her free hand that wasn't holding her flashlight, Bird cupped her hand over her mouth in an attempt to hold the laugh inside. To choke it back down before it was set free.

"Are you serious?" Jim's voice was lower now. Near a whisper.

With her hand still over her mouth, Bird nodded. Eyes widened as if to ask why she'd make something like that up in the first place.

"Wow…" Jim breathed. One eyebrow raised up further than the other, "Small world, huh?"

"Yeah." Bird said. Her voice still muffled behind her hand.

Turning around, Bird headed back for the stairs.

Suddenly the burnt smell made it feel like smoke was still thick the air.

Clogging up her airways and turning her lungs to ash.

She couldn't breath.

"Bird?" Jim called after her.

But she didn't turn around. She didn't stop.

"Who the hell are you?" The owner of the bar yelled as he saw Bird emerge from the basement door followed by Jim just steps behind her.

They both came to a stop. Near matching expressions from having been caught totally off guard.

The owner looked between them, his gaze settling on Jim as he questioned, "You a cop?

"Nope." Jim answered.  
Though Bird didn't miss the hesitation that came just before.  
Like he had to really stop himself from saying yes.

Diverting the flashlight away, so he wouldn't shine it in the faces of the men now standing in the bar, Jim held his other arm up to show he was unarmed.

Bird lowered the beam of her own light, but adjusted her grip on the metal handle in case she needed to use it as a weapon.

"Well." The bar owner let out a low laugh, "If you're looking to rob the place, you're too late. The fire took everything I had."  
He tossed an arm out to the side and let it fall heavily at his side.

His eyes scanning over the charred remains of his business.

"This is your place?" Bird realized.

"Yeah." He scoffed, "What's left of it at least."

"We're just looking for someone." Jim admitted. He took a few steps further into the bar, closer to where the owner was still surveying the damage and his thugs started to fan out, "Her name is Alice."

Whirling around the owner gruffly yelled, "This some kinda joke?"

"No…" Jim answered, "What's funny?"

Bird stayed in place where she was standing, but her eyes followed the two men who'd came in the bar with the owner.  
Noticing how they started to separate, both moving an opposite direction around what was left of the tables. They were being surrounded.

"That crazy bitch is the one who started the fire." The owner answered.

"Why'd she do that?" Jim asked.

"How the hell do I know?" He yelled back, "Said she cut herself. Clean yourself up then, I say." He moved in a circle as he spoke, still taking in the damage, "You don't understand, she said, my blood is on the counter. Next thing I know the whole damn kitchen's in flames."

Coming to a stop, he looked past where Jim was standing back to where Bird was as he threatened, "Someone's gotta pay for this damage."

The diamonds on her necklace were glittering even in the near non-existent lighting.

"Tell me where she is and my client will pay." Jim tried to bargain with him.

"Who's your client?"

"You know where she is?"

"If I did would I be talking to you?"

"Jim." Bird said. Her voice even, but he knew by the way she'd said his name that something was was wrong.  
That they needed to go.

"Thanks for you time." Jim grumbled, taking a few steps back away from the bar owner.

"No, I say when we're done!" He yelled as his two thugs pulled out guns.

One pointed their gun at Jim, and the other stepped closer to Bird, keeping the barrel pointed at her face.

Jim looked over his shoulder to where Bird was standing. Staring down the man threatening her life with steely look in her eyes.  
His gaze dropped down to where she was clutching the flashlight in her hand.

"Time to teach you some manners." The bar owner said as he took a step back to get himself out of harms way and his goons jumped into action.

Jim sprang forward, using the heavy duty flashlight to hit the man closest to him in the side of the face. Stunning him enough that Jim was able to twist his arm back until the gun clattered to the floor.

With another blow of the flashlight, the man fell to the floor unconscious.

Hearing a loud noise and thuds behind him where Bird was standing.  
Jim looked over to make sure she was okay.

He knew she was more than capable of defending herself, but he also knew that even after the surgery and physical therapy she'd gone through, that she continued to complain of her shoulder hurting and not feeling as strong as it used to.

But his concern had been for nothing.  
Bird was fine.

He looked over to see she'd knocked the man who'd been coming after her down and then apparently broke a bar stool across his side when he was down.

The man was rolling on his side in pain on the floor, curling up into himself and fighting for air through the pain.

The one who'd really been in danger wasn't Bird at all.  
It was Jim.

Who'd known better than to turn his back on anyone in a fight, but his concern for Bird had clouded his judgement.

There was loud crack sound.  
For a split second everything went black and Jim was on the floor -without the slightest idea of how he'd gotten there.

The pain didn't come until Jim was struggling to get back on his feet.  
There was warm slick feeling on the back of his neck and then running down his back.

"Had enough yet?" The bar owner yelled as Jim stood back up.  
He raised the metal pipe in the air again. Planning to strike Jim for a second time.

But the sound of a gun shot rang out and the pipe fell from his hands, clanking onto the floor. And the man stumbled backwards. His arm felt like it was on fire. Like he'd been hit in the shoulder with a sledge hammer.

His stunned gaze landed on Bird who was holding a gun still pointed at him and it was only then that he realized he'd been shot.

Picking the pipe up from the floor, Jim swung it like a bat, colliding hard with the side of the bar owner's head and the man dropped to the floor. Still bleeding from the gunshot wound and now out cold.

Bird lowered the gun she'd swiped up from the floor and stared at Jim.

Wondering if he'd struck the man with that pipe for his own revenge or if he'd done it to keep her from killing him.

Either way, she didn't have much time to think it over when Jim dropped the pipe back to the floor and seemed to be staggering in his attempt to stay standing.

"Jim?" She rushed over to him.  
Still keeping the handgun with her in case any of the men got back up and tried to move against them.

"I'm fine." He groaned in pain as he reached back and felt the back of his head.

The skin was split, sagging some at the bottom of the wide open wound.

When he pulled his hand back around to look at it, it was covered in his own blood.

"You're not fine." Bird argued.

•••

Mario had assured Bird that Jim was going to be fine.  
Out of all the doctors to be working the night-shift in the ER, she thought to herself.

He'd said that Jim just needed some stitches and would probably have a headache from hell for a day or so, but aside from that would be absolutely fine.

So Bird had left.

She'd called her driver and left him with strict instructions that he was supposed to get Jim back to his house safe from the hospital.

After that she'd hailed herself a taxi and remained lost in her head for the most of the ride back to her townhouse.

But now that she was home she wasn't sure what to do.

She was exhausted. Her bones were aching from it, but her mind was a little too wired to be able to sleep.

Tomorrow was Saturday and since she didn't work weekends she figured it didn't matter if she got any sleep that night or not.

Her thoughts stalled when Bird walked through the entry hallway in her townhouse and noticed the main sitting room lights were on when she was sure she'd turned them off.

The last time she'd noticed something amiss in her house it was moments before she'd been knocked out and abducted to meet Kathryn.

Just as she reached the kitchen she sniffed the air.

Pasta?  
She smelled garlic for sure.

Rounding the corner she saw Oswald sitting at her kitchen island eating what she quickly identified as left overs from the Italian restaurant she'd ordered in from the night before.

Meaning he'd raided the refrigerator while she'd been gone and had gotten into a bottle of wine, which was sitting open next to the oversized wine glass he was drinking from.

"Oswald." Bird greeted with a sigh of relief and a smile at her friend.

"Good evening, Bird." He greeted back.  
One cheek puffed out from the large bite of food he'd just shoveled into his mouth.

And for a moment, fleeting as it was, the hands on the clock went in reverse and she was transported back.

Back to the old days. To her small apartment. To Oswald always showing up unannounced. Picking the lock and waiting around on her.

Back to a time when they were all each other had. When that had been enough for them both.

Of spending so much time with him that she'd had trouble figuring out where she ended and he began.

The days of being so twisted up in one another that it was like they lived in their own little world. No one else mattered.

"I was beginning to wonder if you were coming home tonight at all." Oswald admitted. His own voice echoing up to his face from the wine glass he spoke into.

"It's been a long night." She answered with a sigh.  
Leaning on the island counter, she swooped the glass from his hand and took a drink.

"I had dinner with Jim." Bird admitted. Knowing he probably didn't care or want to hear about it, but she needed to tell someone and he was the only one there.

"Hmm." Oswald hummed, feeling his jaw tense as he chewed up another bite of the warmed up pasta.

"He's, uh…" Bird found herself unable to stop talking, "He's working another bounty case and needed my help. We ended up in the narrows, in a fight with some low-level thugs. Jim got hurt pretty bad."

Oswald's eyes moved past Bird to the doorway she'd came into the kitchen through. Almost as if he were expecting the ex-detective to walk in at any minute.

"Where is Jim now?" Oswald questioned.

"The hospital?" She shrugged, pouring more wine into the glass and picking it up for a drink before Oswald could reach for it, "Maybe back at his house? I'm really not sure."

When she sat the glass down again, he snatched it up.

Taking a long drink before stating, "Leaving a wounded Jim Gordon behind? That doesn't sound like the Bird I know."

"Isn't it funny?" Bird asked. The laugh she'd been holding down since the basement of the bar finally bubbling to the surface.

"I…" Oswald breathed, staring at her, "I'm not sure I follow, Bird."

"That he's the _good guy_." She used finger quotes, "And I'm the bad girl. The criminal. The snake. Yet, at the end of the day… I'm not so sure he's good for me."

Oswald stared blankly back at her. He didn't know what to say.  
He could think of a million other conversation topics he'd rather be discussing, but for whatever reason, this was the route Bird had taken.

Though, now he couldn't deny being a tad intrigued by what she was saying.

"Does this have anything to do with the secrets you keep?" Oswald splashed another pour of wine into the glass, "Concerning what really happened to your mother?"

"No." Bird was fast to answer.  
Oswald was one of the only people who knew the truth of what had happened to Lilith Wayne. Meaning he also had seen how lying to Jim about it had torn her up.

"I've made peace with what happened and the truth is, is that it doesn't concern Jim at all." Bird continued, "I'm not keeping it as some big, dark secret from him. I've just decided that he doesn't need to know."

"Ah." Oswald couldn't help but laugh, "I'm don't believe it works that way, Bird."

He knew better than anyone that the truth always comes out.

He remembered thinking he'd been so good at hiding his life from his mother when she was alive. That he could be a killer and a criminal by day as long as he'd come home to her at night and be the perfect son she believed him to be.

The night Don Maroni had told his mother the truth about him still burned like an iron in the back of his mind. The way she'd looked at him.

How she'd later promised to love him no matter what before asking if what Maroni had said was the truth.  
The disappointment and heartache on her face when he lied; when he said Maroni was being dishonest.

How she'd given him the perfect opportunity to be honest. To just tell her the truth.  
But he couldn't.

And it wasn't until later on that he'd realized his lying to her had broke her heart worse than learning about his violent nature.

One way or another, the truth always comes out.

But he wasn't going to tell Bird that.

For one; he knew that under the denial, this was a fact she was aware of herself.  
And two; he believed she was better off without Jim Gordon.

"Anyways." Bird moved a hand through the air, "I spoke with the printing company earlier today and they said the buttons are going be delivered in the morning."

With a wide smile on her lips, Bird beamed, "Vote Oswald Cobblepot. Make Gotham great again."

His eyes fell to her teeth. Perfect and so bright white they nearly hurt his eyes in the harsh lighting from above the island counter.

With his mouth closed he ran his tongue over his own top layer of teeth.

Remembering the hour long session at the dentist he'd had earlier this week to get his teeth whitened. The smell of the solution they'd smeared on his teeth. The bright light they'd use in fifteen minute intervals.

The tingling sensation on his gum at first. Then the tightening feeling.  
Followed by pain. Sheer white hot pain.

One by one it felt like his teeth were lighting on fire.

By the time he'd looked in a mirror afterwards, he was shocked to see his teeth were still in place.

The dentist had warned him ahead of time about the increased sensitivity he'd feel. No one had said a thing about it feeling like his teeth would turn into a mouth full of lit fire crackers.

When Oswald had challenged Mayor James in the upcoming election for the Mayor's seat in Gotham. Bird had been the first person he'd come to.

After all, she'd turned her image around in the media.  
Went from being on trial for a triple homicide to being Gotham's sweetheart. Who now worked at her family's company and helped the least fortunate.

People rooted for her. The city was on her side.

He remembered the look on her face.  
The thin lines her full lips had pressed into before telling him that, while she didn't really want anything about him to change, that if he was serious about a political career then some work was going to need done first.

He'd trusted her. Left it in her hands, not sure what to expect.  
But next thing he knew, they were at the dentist and he found out they were getting his teeth whitened.

Then they were off spa that catered to Gotham's elite. Where Bird instructed them on what to do to his face.

She might as well have been speaking another language at the time, because Oswald didn't understand a word she was saying.

He'd been resistant to some it, especially when the words acid peel came up.  
But he'd finally submitted and left with his face feeling smoother than polished marble.

Then they'd went to a salon where his hair had been trimmed, combed back and gelled into place.

Never in his life had he heard of eyebrow threading until he was in the chair twitching and jerking from jolts of pain as the hairs were expertly removed one by one.

By the time they'd made it to the photographer for his picture to be taken for the posters that were soon to cover the city and the buttons they were going to hand out to everyone, Oswald was still in pain and utterly exhausted.

And, for the first time in his life he started to realize that Bird didn't just wake up looking so flawless.

That no toothpaste would get her teeth as white as they were.

That apparently she put herself through a lot of pain to maintain her physical appearance.

For the first time, he started to realize his best friend was far more vain than she'd led anyone to believe.

He'd thought back to all of the times he'd told her she was beautiful. As if he'd been telling her something she didn't already know, when really she was quite aware of her own physical appeal.

Oswald had found himself staring at her nose. Remembering how badly it had been broken once when she jumped into a fight to come to his rescue.  
He'd always thought it was incredible how well her nose had healed after that.

Now all he could do was wonder if she'd had surgery to fix it. If anyone's nostrils were really that symmetrical by nature.

"Oswald?" Bird questioned, tilting her head to the side with a small frown as he stared at her, "Everything okay?"

"Yes." He cleared his throat and pinned on a smile, "That's wonderful news about the buttons."

She nodded in agreement.

"And I'm also glad you're back to wearing your hair the usual way." She smiled.  
She knew she'd been the one who'd pushed him into this overly polished looks for the photoshoots, but the truth was she missed her friend just looking like his usual self.

Lines formed at the sides of Oswald's eyes as he glared at her.  
Did she now?

Of course, she did.  
A flash of anger jolted through him.

She was spending money and time on making herself look flawless and yet she wanted him to look as homely as he always had.  
He thought to himself that she wanted to grow and change and experience things in her life while expecting him to just stay the same.

The same he'd always been.  
Did she even really think he could win this election?

The bad thoughts crept in like roots of a plant digging and deeper into the earth in search of water.

Burrowing and twisting.

Had her help even been for his benefit?  
Maybe she'd just been having a laugh at him.

Watching him go through pain for the sake of looking better for the public eye.

Had her intentions been malicious all along?

This certainly wouldn't be the first time someone had been nice to him when really their intentions underneath were nothing but ugly and cruel.

"No." He said out loud.

Eyes pinned shut, violently shaking his head back and forth as if he could loosen the thoughts and shake them out from his ears.  
Get rid of them and the insidious way they were morphing his view of the one person who'd always had his back.

"No? No what?"  
Bird asked.

At his side in an instant. Her hand on his arm.

Her touch steadying him. Silencing the demons in his head.

Opening his eyes, he slowly looked at her.

Only she looked close to a handful of years younger. Less put together.

Back at Fish's dive bar. Dark jeans and boots that went to her knees. Long, carefree wavy hair that always started to frizz near the ends.

Either wearing no make up at all, or having on so much eye liner that in the dim lighting it bore resemblance to a raccoon's markings.

Ducking calls and visits from her parents unless she needed to borrow money.

Oswald's eyes locked with hers and he saw how much heavier her entire being seemed.  
He'd never known her to not be haunted; he wasn't so sure she'd ever truly felt free.

But back then she'd felt lighter next to him.  
Her laughs came easier. Lit up her entire face and pulled at the skin around her eyes.

That was his Bird.  
Either walking on air happy or bottom of the bottle sadness. One extreme or the other.  
Steady only in her devotion to him.

He still caught glimpses of that person from time to time. Under the polished, adult look she'd taken on.

But it wasn't the same.

She wasn't the same -then again, neither was he.

Oswald remembered one of the nights they'd been in her apartment. Planning and plotting to overthrow Fish and Falcone, to take the city for themselves.

Swearing that no matter what they had to do on the way to their goal, that the one thing that would never change would be them. That together, they'd always remain the same.

Foolish.

Such fools they'd been to believe time wouldn't have an effect on their bond. That they'd always stay the same.

He'd noticed a change in himself first.  
The day Maroni had found out who he really was. God, that felt like lifetimes ago now. When he'd been working under an assumed name in one of the Don's restaurants.

His secret came out and in an attempt to save his own life, he'd brought up Bird's name.

After all the times of swearing her name didn't matter to him and claiming to not care about the money she'd come from.  
There he was; dropping the Wayne name not so long after her parent's murders in an attempt to save his own life.

Endangered her life and well-being to save his own.  
His sense of self-preservation reaching a new high; or low depending on how you look at it.

The first changed he'd noticed in Bird, the first one that really bothered him, strangely enough didn't come when she started dating Harvey Dent.

No. It was when Falcone had forced her to work under him, to work beside Victor Zsasz.

He remembered going over to her apartment and it feeling so different.

Bird had cut her hair some, been wearing it perfectly straight. The quirks he'd come to love so much at her apartment and associate with her were gone.

Everything started to feel sterile.

She didn't look or act the same anymore.

Dead eyes.

Oswald still wasn't entirely sure of everything she'd seen or had to do during that time. Bird never really talked much about it and he didn't pry.

He regretted eating the pasta leftovers now. The wine had since caused an uncomfortable heat in his stomach and his chest ached.

Memories are often times as painful as they are joyous.

He'd read somewhere once that the word nostalgia had been formed from two Greek words, one meaning homecoming and the other meaning pain, an ache.

It hurt; sometimes looking at his best friend hurt.  
Like the aching pain of an old wound that just doesn't ever seem to heal up properly.

He remembered how he used to feel about Bird.

Feeling as though his life hadn't begun until he met her. Until that afternoon they'd crossed paths and nothing was ever the same again.

So, if his life hadn't begun until meeting her than it had almost made sense in his mind that his life would also end with her.

It almost had, in fact.

The night she'd taken that bullet for him. He'd been injured too but not near as severely as she was.  
He'd been able to make it to a car to drive away, but she couldn't even stand up.

The police cruiser he'd stolen had run out of gas along a dark stretch of woods and he'd crawled out. Gotten to his feet with tears running down his cheeks.

He remembered getting to his feet and running into the woods. Aimlessly wandering.  
His bloodstained hands landing on rough tree bark, trying to keep his balance.

Finding an old trailer to take shelter in, waiting with a shotgun on the owners to come back.  
And from time to time, in his weakened, pained state, wondering why he even kept fighting.

By some twist of fate, he'd crossed paths again with Edward Nygma that night.  
Who'd taken him back to his apartment and used his medical knowledge to save his life.

Even though Bird was now alive and well, Oswald wouldn't ever forget when he'd first woken up and asked about her. Only to have Nygma tell him she'd died from the injuries she'd sustained.

Oswald remembered feeling nothing at first. A complete head-to-toe numbness.  
A state of shock.

It didn't make any sense at all. I  
f Bird was dead then how could he still be living?

Nothing had been the same since that moment. The moment when he realized his life was a separate entity than hers.

That no matter how painful an existence it might be without her, that there was indeed life without Bird in it.

"I, um…" Oswald cleared his throat, shook his head again, "I came to tell you that I realized something at dinner with Mayor James earlier tonight."

"Oh, yeah?" Bird's head fell to one side. Her eyes narrowed in question at him.  
Wondering where his mind had gone for the last several minutes.

"I know exactly what I need to win this election." Oswald announced, "Edward Nygma."

"Wh-what?" Bird nearly yelled.

Her face scrunched up like a child being told no about something they really wanted to get from the store.

Butch had told her that when she fled the city, that Oswald took to filling his time visiting Nygma in Arkham.  
But she hadn't expected this out of him.

"We have a very strong base for the election." Bird argued with him, "The city is going to rally behind you and for good measure you've got Butch funneling money into the polling office. It's a slam dunk. You're going to win-"

"I'm not asking for your permission, Bird."  
Oswald stood to his feet. Smoothed out his jacket.

"And I don't exactly hear you asking for forgiveness either." She copped an attitude.

"I'm here as a courtesy." Oswald explained, "I know you have some… issues, with him."

"Issues doesn't begin to cover it." Bird ran a hand through her hair, "He tried to kill my brother-"

"Ed has assured me that he knew very well it was only a knock-out gas that day."

"And he's the one who framed Jim and got him thrown in Blackgate-"

"A wrong, which you went above and beyond to fix." Oswald reminded her of the role she'd played in breaking Jim out of prison.

"Let's not forget, Bird. I was suffering and being tortured in Arkham for a crime Jim Gordon committed. We've all sinned, Bird. We've all paid for them. But now we're all free. Except for Ed."

"I don't care." Bird coldly shook her head.  
She did care for him once. Back before he'd gone entirely insane.

Not many people seemed to like to him back when he was the strange forensic scientist at GCPD, but she did.  
She'd even considered him a friend once.

"Have you really forgotten?" Oswald took a quick step forward, a hand on her arm as he spoke, "How cold it got at night inside of Arkham Asylum. The draft that went through the cuts of cloth they called blankets? How hard it was to sleep with all of the screaming?"

Bird's eyes dropped to where his hand was on her arm, just above her wrist. His fingers felt shaky and cold against her skin.

"You left Gotham, Bird. Left me when I was a mess over that night under the bridge with Fish. If it wasn't for my talks with Ed…"He cleared his throat again, then stressed,"He is my friend…"

And despite claiming he wasn't there asking for permission, his tone raised. Gave him away.  
That after all this time, a part of him still wanted her on his side.

Still craved her love and acceptance.

He still needed her.

•••

* * *

 **A/N - Thanks for reading! I was really happy to have Oswald and Bird have a scene together this chapter. ^_^**

 **So, we also now know Bird spent her time away from Gotham with Falcone at his estate in the south.**  
 **And just in case anyone is wondering why Sofia wasn't mentioned there; it's because I'm not going to use Sofia in my stories.**

 **I'm sorry if that disappoints anyone who was hoping to see her pop up when I get to season 4.**  
 **For a while I did plan on using her character, but then after thinking things through I got some different ideas on where I wanted to take the story and her character just isn't a part of that.**

 **That being said; I hope you'll stick around for the rest of Bird's story.**

 **Thank you to: AGBreads, xenocanaan, Shadow knight1121, Rasiel Hasu, Love. Fiction. 2018, Munyue, ThatMysteriousSlime, Katniss789, SmellYourScentForMiles, Havana, xxXWolfsLullabyXxx, DancingDorisDay, I WANT MORE, Lila, and to the Guests who reviewed the last chapter.**

 **Thank you for the support and inspiring me to keep writing and get new chapters up!**


	5. Please Don't Leave Me

**V - Please Don't Leave Me  
**

" _I do not use the word home lightly. So when I sigh into the crook of your neck; believe that your spine is a timber frame. Your kiss a welcome mat and your enveloping arms my front door." - esekao, tumblr_

* * *

•••

Bird let out a heavy sigh as she stood against the far wall in one of the Arkham visitation rooms.

She looked down to her shoes and then to the metal table mounted in place.

Her eyebrows fell as she started to realize this was the exact same room she had her visitations in when she was an inmate.

She remembered the first time Harvey Dent had been permitted to see her.  
How she'd ran to him. Her face buried in his shirt.

How he smelled like soap and cologne.  
The way she'd wanted to bathe in that scent and hold onto it forever.

" _What is this?"_  
 _"Where are you taking me?"_  
 _"It's not visiting hours!"_  
 _"Why aren't you talking to me?"_

Bird looked up expectantly to the door to the room as she could hear Nygma yelling from down the hallway.

Paranoid as ever, she thought to herself.

Finally the door opened and the guard roughly shoved him inside the room, where he just barely caught hold of the edge of the table to keep from falling down.

Bird's eyes went to the metal cuffs on his wrists.

"I think we could do without the restraints." Bird let out a sigh.

"Miss Wayne?" Nygma looked at her. Every ounce of uncertainty showing as confusion on his face.

Once the guard removed the cuffs and left them alone, Nygma rubbed his wrists from where the cuffs had been on far too tight.

"I have to admit." He breathed, "You're one the last people I expected to see."

"I have to admit." Bird echoed, "You're one the last people I want to see."

"Then why are you here?" He asked. Eyeing her once more before taking his seat at the table.

"Is Oswald okay?" Nygma questioned.  
It had been more than a few weeks since he'd last been there to see him.  
Quite a gap from how frequent his visits had been before.

"He's fine." Bird answered. Noting that he did seemed genuinely concerned while asking.

"We sorted things out with Fish." Bird wasn't sure why she offered the information up. Not like she owed him anything or cared enough to try and sooth his nerves.

He made a noise and nodded his head.  
That explained it then, he thought, why Oswald hadn't been back.  
Well, that and Bird's return to Gotham.

"Oswald suggested that I come to see you." Bird explained.  
She left out how Oswald was currently off to work out a deal with the new head of psychiatry at Arkham for Ed's release.

A process they were told would take a full day. So Oswald wanted to be there first chance he got so that Ed could be out that night.

Nygma didn't say anything. Just sat silently and watched as Bird drummed her nails on the table surface, seeming to look everywhere in the room except at him.

"Why haven't you broken out of here?" Bird finally asked.  
The tips of her fingers blanched white with pressure as she leaned over the table some to get a better read on him.

"Didn't work out so well the last time." Nygma gave a rather despondent shrug.

Bird arched a brow, but didn't argue with him.

She knew what it was like to spend weeks on end in Arkham. To lay there, unable to sleep as everyone screamed out into the night. To be left alone with nothing but your own thoughts.

Regrets and things you wish you could change.

Deep down she wondered if that was why Nygma hadn't tried to break out of the asylum.  
If maybe somewhere inside of him he did somewhat regret what he'd done that had led him here.

Maybe he knew he deserved the punishment.

"Why did he send you to see me?" Nygma questioned.

He didn't see any presents in the room. Oswald had been more than generous with sending him gifts.

But the lack there of quickly ruled out the thought that he'd sent Bird with a gift for him.

"I guess he thinks we have some things to talk through." Bird pulled in a deep breath, "But I'm saying this so we're perfectly clear and there isn't any confusion. If you ever hurt or threaten my little brother again, I will kill you myself."

Nygma's eyes went from Bird's threatening expression to the camera mounted in the corner. Briefly wondering if the camera recorded sound too.

"Understand?" Bird asked, "That I won't just end your life. That you will be praying for your death. You'll wish you were never even born-"

"Miss Wayne." Nygma interrupted her.

"Bird." She corrected.

"Bird." He repeated, his eyes locking on Bird's from behind his glasses' thick lenses, "I have no reason to. Professor Strange led me to believe that if I helped him I could earn my freedom from here. That is the only reason I was even involved."

"And framing Jim?" Bird reminded him.

"That…" Nygma let out a low laugh, "Was a miscalculation on my end. That won't happen again."

Eyeing the camera again, Nygma leaned in over to the table closer to her, "You've never done anything that bad?"

From behind his glasses, his eyes moved back and forth over her face as a smile formed on his lips and he said in a knowing tone, "You've done worse and we both know it."

He still remembered the night he'd killed Officer Dougherty.

How shaky he'd been after. How Bird was so calm in response to seeing someone murdered right in front of her.

She'd been the one to say they needed to get his body up into the trunk.  
She'd led them to the old warehouse the mafia used to clean up loose ends.

They'd dismembered the body together.

He could have outed her. When he'd been arrested and questioned about the crimes he'd committed, he could have told them of Bird's involvement.  
But he didn't.

Her name never came up.

"As long as we're clear." Bird gave him a pointed look before standing up and turning to leave.

"What was all of this about?" Nygma asked.

But Bird was already half way out of the room and showed no intention of turning back to answer him.

••• **that night •••**

Bird stepped out of the car and looked up to the entrance of The Siren's Club.

The lounge that Barbara and Tabitha had been running together for some months now.

A place she'd never imagined stepping foot into.

That was until she'd gotten a call from Jim earlier that evening.

He told her that he'd found Alice. That she had indeed set the bar on fire because of her blood being spilled there.

Jim said he'd tracked her down to a small apartment she was renting, that her landlord had somehow gotten infected with her blood and man had been driven completely insane from it.

He'd tried to kill Jim, but Alice had intervened. Shot and killed her landlord before proceeding to try and burn her apartment down too.

The main reason Jim said he was calling was that when he'd mentioned Jervis to Alice, she grew panicked and even though not much else was said before she lit the place on fire and fled.  
She did say that her brother _couldn't_ find her.

Once Bird got off the phone, she thought back to short time she'd known Alice. How she'd suspected she was running from someone. Most of the women who ended up in the shelters were.

Only Bird had -had it wrong. Alice wasn't running from a boyfriend; she'd been trying to hide from her brother.

The same man Jim had said he was going to meet that night to find out the truth.

It had then occurred to her that there was another reason behind his calling her.  
Jim wanted her to know what was going on; where he was going, in case something happened.

He'd called her.  
Not GCPD. Not even Bullock.

So now here she was.  
One of the last places in Gotham she wanted to be and extremely under-dressed for The Siren's.

Her plan had been to slip inside the club. Hopefully find Jim and avoid Barbara.

But the plan fell through nearly the moment she'd stepped through the doors.

"B!"

"Hey, Barbara." Bird greeted the blonde with a strained smile as Barbara rushed over to her. Almost as if she'd been expecting her that night.

With a martini in one hand, Barbara threw her free arm around Bird in an uncomfortably tight half-hug.

Stepping back she held her hand up to one side of her mouth, as if she had a secret to tell, "Hate to be the one to tell you -but you're a little under-dressed."

"I'm not staying." Bird sighed, "I'm looking for someone. Jervis Tetch."

Barbara looked past Bird to where another woman, even more under-dressed than Bird was, came to a dead stop and looked their way.

She was in a pair of dark pants and a coat at least three sizes too big on her.  
Her blonde curly hair was messily clipped up. Ringlets hanging down and framing her face.

"Popular guy." Barbara muttered under her breath.

It had just been minutes before that Jim had been there to see Tetch as well.  
She'd seen them going to their stairs that led to the roof.

She knew Jim had seen her too, but he didn't even come over to say hi.  
Rude, she thought.

"The Great Jervis Tetch. Hypnotist Extraordinaire!" Barbara tossed her free arm out to the side for dramatic affect.

Bird looked around, her eyes stopping on a poster for the entertainment tonight, but the stage was empty.

"Come on, B." Bird sighed, "Where is he?"

"I might have seen him disappear to the roof a little while ago." Her voice changed. Tone sounding like she'd never been more bored in her entire life, "Might have even seen Jim go with him."

Bird's eyes widened and she looked around. Her eyes finally landing on what she assumed was the stairs to the roof.

Without so much as a thanks, she darted off that direction.

"You're welcome!" Barbara shouted after her with a overdone eye roll.

Out of the corner of her eye, Barbara saw the curly haired blonde woman take off in the same direction Bird did.

If this kept up she was going to have to implement a dress code. She thought to herself.  
They had a certain vibe to uphold in the lounge and casual dress was certainly going to ruin that.

"Deep down you want to die, Jim. You want to end this miserable, empty, loveless life. Don't you?" Jervis Tetch asked.  
Standing safely on the roof while Jim Gordon, under the effects of hypnotism, balanced on the very edge.

"Yes." Jim answered back.  
His body just barely swaying from the wind.

It felt so much colder than he remembered it being when he went inside.

Jim looked down again. The lights and cars passing on the streets multiple stories below where he stood.

He wasn't scared.  
Somewhere inside, he knew this should scare him, but instead the fall looked inviting.

"Yes! You want to die." Jervis echoed back, "Let me help you. I'm going to count to ten. When I reach ten you will simply step off the ledge and you will find everlasting peace. Are you ready?"

"Yes." Jim answered.

"One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six." His voice sped up, excitement growing as he watched Jim start to step forward.

"Jim!" Bird screamed as she'd pushed the door to the roof open and spilled out into the night air.  
The very first thing she saw was Jim on the ledge. One small step; one gust of wind away from falling to his death.

Spinning around Jervis saw Bird. Frozen in fear. Her eyes wide in terror. Already filled with emotion. Her mind so clearly already feeling the loss.

But he wasn't concerned with her for long.  
Just a second later another person joined them on the roof; his dear sister, Alice.

"Stop!" Alice screamed as she came a stop next to Bird and saw what her brother was doing.  
The side of her foot hit something and she looked down to see a gun.

It was Jim's gun. The very first thing Jervis had done once Jim was under his mind control was to get him to disarm himself.

Alice picked up the gun. Her arm trembling as she took aim at her brother.

"Thank god!" Jervis exclaimed, his top hat tucked under his arm and as he walked closer, "At last, I've found you."

"Tell that man to get off the ledge." Alice ordered.  
Now with both hands on the weapon. Trying to keep it steady.

"Never mind him." Jervis argued.

"Jim!" Bird screamed out again. Panic making her voice shrill.

She started to walk. To move closer. To grab onto him and pull back to safety.

"Mister, get down!" Alice shrieked.

"He can't hear you." Jervis told them both.

His eyes stopped on Bird and he warned, "Another step and I'll send him over the ledge."

Bird came to a dead halt.

Her mouth hung open. She wanted to scream out for Jim again, hope that somehow he could hear her.  
She wanted to curse Jervis, threaten him with things that would send a chill down a hardened mobster's back.

But nothing came out.

She was stuck. Frozen.  
The kind of fear that sucks everything right out of a person.

"Don't!" Alice threatened as her brother moved in closer, "Don't come near me."

"Why are you here if you don't want to talk?" Jervis asked.

Alice wasn't so sure herself.  
Her brother was a monster and a part of her had set out that night determined to kill him.

To make sure he could never hurt her or anyone else again.  
But now, being back in front of him after so long, there were so many memories flooding her mind.

Terrible, awful memories that she wished she could forget.

Memories that left her knees like jell-o and her hands trembling so bad she could barely hold the gun.

"Put the gun down, Alice."

"You're evil!" She yelled at her brother, "Leave me alone! Or I'll kill you!"

Alice cringed. Her voice sounded so weak.  
She felt like a little girl again. Powerless around him.

"But Alice…" Jervis smiled and it turned her stomach, "I love you."

Closing her eyes, Alice squeezed the trigger, a bullet went flying past her brother's head and ricocheted off a metal ladder.

Bird jumped with a gasp. She hadn't even been aware of the siblings fighting behind her.

She turned her head to see Alice fire another shot. The woman had her eyes pinned tightly shut; shooting in no particular direction.

Just blindly firing into the night hoping that by some chance one of the bullets might hit her brother.

Bird looked back in time to see Jim had managed to turn around.

Instead of facing out, he was now turned around, looking at her.

Swaying on the ledge with a look on his face like he didn't know where the hell he was or what was going on.

He was there.

He swayed in the wind.

And then he was gone.

There was a loud scream. Bird wasn't even aware the sound had come from her.

She ran as fast as she could; sprinted to the ledge where Jim was hanging on for dear life. His legs danging stories up in the air.

His teeth were gritted in pain. The pain from his shoulders vibrating out to the rest of his body.

Bird frantically grabbed onto him. His arms. His coat.  
Grabbing onto whatever she could and pulling with all of her might.

Moments later there were another set of arms. Alice.  
Who'd ran to them without a second thought and helped Bird pull Jim back up to safety.

The trio tumbled back onto the cement roof. A tangled mess of limbs and frantic breathing.

Alice sat back, looked up at the cloudy night sky and pulled in a deep breath.

Bird and Jim stared at one another.  
Her mouth hung open like she wanted to say something, but no words were coming out.  
Not a single word.

Jim leaned in. His sweaty forehead landing against hers.  
His hand on the back of head.

A moment in silence.  
Raw. Intimate.

Just a moment.  
-Before Jim looked to Alice and breathlessly said, "Thanks."

Nodding she reached up to brush her hair out of her face, but Jim caught her wrist and slipped a pair of handcuffs on her.

He didn't know exactly what was going on with Tetch siblings; but he was going to find out.

•••

Letting out a sigh, Captain Barnes lowered his head and stared at the file the GCPD had put together on Alice Tetch.

His gaze lingered on the young woman's mugshot. Her face and hair washed out from the grayscale of the photo.

She didn't look like someone capable of murder.  
But he'd learned long ago that you can't judge a book by it's cover; nor a person's soul by the skin they wear.

Alice Tetch was a killer.  
Even though she claimed she had to. That her landlord had gotten infected with the poison in her blood and she didn't have a choice but to stop him before the virus spread.

Not to mention she'd stopped the deranged man from killing Jim.  
The second time in half as many days that she'd played a part in saving the ex-detective's life.

Barnes laid the folder down on his desk.  
The truth was that it didn't matter what the reasoning behind her crimes had been.  
Guilt or innocence was to be decided in a court of law.

"Why…" He huffed a breath, "Why is it every time something hits the fan around here, I inevitably find you at the center of it?"

His eyes went from the open case file to where Jim was sitting in one of the chairs facing his desk.

Bullock stood back a few feet. Lingering closer to the closed office door.

"I was just working a job." Jim defended. His voice monotone, "Her brother asked me to find her."

"Yeah?" Barnes nearly looked amused, "You some sort of P.I. now?"

"I'm whatever pays the bills." Jim was quick to answer.  
Still trying to pretend like his chasing down leads on his own wasn't because he missed the work he used to do as a cop.

Bird scoffed; complete with a roll of her eyes.  
Her annoyance going from zero to a hundred in the time it took Jim to spill the lie.

Barnes looked at where Bird was seated next to Jim.

She hadn't said a single word to anyone since they'd gotten to the station.

Bullock remembered the night they'd raided the human trafficking the year before. How Bird had somehow gotten tangled up in the mix of victims.

It took her hours to say something after that.

The haunted look she'd been wearing was comparable to that night.

Barnes' eyes fell to the ' _Vote Oswald Cobblepot_ ' button on Bird's shirt.

He bit down on the side of his tongue. Literally trying to bite back the anger and urge to say something about a known criminal running for mayor.

Deciding to stay on topic, Barnes asked them, "What do we know about this girl's blood?"

"Not much." Bullock strolled up next to the seat Bird was sitting in. Hands in his pockets while he gave a lazy shrug, "She claims infecting the landlord was an accident."

"Have Thompkins draw some samples. See if she can find out what we're dealing with here." Barnes ordered, "And pick up the brother for questioning."

The captain's eyes darted between Jim and Bird as he asked, "Any idea on where we can find him?"

"No." Jim answered, "But when I find him; I'll let you know. We have some unfinished business."

"Not anymore." Barnes snapped, "This is an active investigation. You go anywhere near him, I'll have you arrested."

"For what?" Jim learned forward in his seat. A cocky smile forming on his lips. Barnes wasn't his boss anymore.

The older man loved to remind Jim how he wasn't a cop anymore, yet still thought he could order him around like he was, "No law against two private citizens having a chat."

"I'll come by later to pick up my check." Jim continued when his former boss seemed stunned by the insubordination. He pushed up from the arm rests of the chair and stood to his feet.

Jim walked to the office door and opened it. Pausing when he didn't hear any steps behind him.

He looked back to see Bird still sitting in the chair.

"Bird?" Jim called out.

"I…" She shook her head, leaned forward some in the chair and looked to Barnes as she questioned, "I want to know what sort of protection you're going to be providing Alice Tetch."

"Protection?" Barnes seemed just as stunned by her concern for the woman she barely knew as he'd been by Jim's smugness in defying his orders, "She's being held on several charges-"

"She is a victim." Bird asserted.

Barnes' face twisted up, "She torched a bar. Killed a man -then burnt his body."

"Fire purifies." Bird's knuckles were white as she gripped onto the arm rests of the chair, "She was trying to stop the spread of whatever it is that's in her blood."

"You're saying that makes it okay?" Barnes stood up.

"What I'm saying is that her brother will come for her." Bird was just as quick to get to her own feet. Anger bubbling beneath her skin. The heat creeping up from her neck to her cheeks. "Obsession like that…"

Her voice trailed off and she shook her head before repeating, "Her brother will come after her."

"You know." Bullock took a step closer to his captain's desk, "Alice said the very same thing when I was sweating her in interrogation. Said her brother was a monster and he'd never give up trying to get her back."

"Then I guess it's a good thing she's here, huh?" Barnes countered, "I can't think of a single safer place to be in Gotham than the GCPD."

"Yeah?" Bird laughed, "How'd that work out for you when Galavan showed up last year?"

Barnes' knuckles turned an unnatural white as he tightly gripped the handle of the cane he'd been having to use since the injuries he'd sustained when Galavan-turned-Azrael stabbed him on the roof of the GCPD building.

"Get out." Barnes' angrily demanded, "All three of you. Out."

Reaching out, Jim took hold of Bird's arm and tugged her closer to the door of the office.

Her getting into it with Barnes wouldn't accomplish anything other than him coming up with some reason to put her in lock-up for the night.

She didn't fight him.  
Didn't jerk out of his grip until they were down the stairs on the first level of the police station.

When she finally did she spun to face him. The expression on her face full of emotion -though he couldn't pinpoint which ones exactly.  
He thought when she opened her mouth that she was going to yell about something,

But instead no sound came out.

Bird took a step back away from him. Looking him over as she did.

"Are you okay?" She finally found her words.

It was the first she'd actually spoken to him all night.

After the hypnosis had been broken and she and Alice helped pull him back up on the roof; she'd gone silent on him.

"I'm okay." His voice was thick.

"Really?" She challenged, "Because it wasn't all that long ago that you-"

"It's over." Jim stepped closer to her, "Whatever spell he had me under; it's over with. I'm fine."

He could tell by the look in her eyes that she didn't believe him. Braced for the argument that was sure to ensue.

"Whatever you say, Jim."  
Her lips pursed together and she looked him over again, before she turned and headed for the exit of the building.

Once she got outside she came to a stop. The sun was already up for the day.

It felt strange. Wrong even.

The last real thing she remembered was being on the roof of the club in the darkness of night.  
She felt like she'd just came out of the other end of a time warp.

Some tunnel that was night on one end and daylight at the other.

It was disorienting to say the least.

She looked over to see Jim look down at his watch and his then squint up towards the sky.  
Apparently sharing in the stunned feeling along with her.

"Didn't realize it had gotten so late." Jim offered up an attempt at conservation with her, "Or early, Depending on how you look at it."

She wasn't feeling particularly talkative; but she also chose to start walking with him, instead of calling her driver to go home.

It wasn't much -but it was something, he thought to himself.

As they walked she'd called into her office, letting her secretary know she wasn't going to be in that day.

Then she got a call, that Jim gathered must have been Oswald when Bird answered and immediately jumped into talking about the election that was being held in few days.

Either Bird's pace had slowed or Jim's had quickened.  
But she ended up several steps behind him on the sidewalk. Still talking on the phone while Jim reached the crosswalk first.

 _Vote for Oswald Cobblepot. Your next mayor of Gotham. And make Gotham safe again._

Jim's eyes went to the car parked across the street that was wallpapered in posters for Oswald's mayoral run. Large speakers affixed to the top of the car playing the same message over and over again.

"You've got to be kidding me." Jim muttered under his breath, with a shake of his head.  
Reaching out he punched the button on the crosswalk button on the post with his index finger.

The ticking sound of the countdown continued and wasn't moving near quick enough. Not with standing so close to the message playing on a loop to convince Gothamites to vote Penguin into office.

 _Vote for Oswald Cobblepot. Your next mayor of Gotham. And make Gotham safe again._

 _Vote for Oswald Cobblepot. Your next mayor of Gotham. And make Gotham safe again._

 _ **Tick. Tick. Tick.**_ The countdown until it was safe to cross the street continued.

 _Vote for Oswald Cobblepot._  
 _Vote for Oswald Cobblepot._  
 _ **Tick. Tick. Tick.**_  
 _Vote for Oswald Cobblepot._

 _ **Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.**_

 _You're so very tired of life aren't you?_

Jim's gaze jerked over to the car that no longer was playing the election mantra.  
He heard Jervis Tetch's voice. Repeating what had been said on the roof.

With scratchy undertones like an old record.

Jim started to turn his head to look for Bird. To see where she went. If she heard it too.

 _ **Tick. Tick. Tick.**_

 _Do you hear my watch ticking?_

The incessant ticking of the crosswalk timer sounded more and more like the hand of a clock ticking away time with each passing second.

 _It's been a hard road for you, Jim Gordon. Listen closer._

 _ **Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.**_

 _You are so very tired of life -aren't you?_  
 _Now you can rest Jim._

 _ **Tick.**_

 _ **Tick.**_

 _ **Tick.**_

The next thing he was aware of was the pain in shoulders. Sharp pains like when he'd caught himself on the side of the building all over again. The dull ache he'd been feeling ever since deeply intensified.

It wasn't until he felt hands on his arms that he realized someone had jerked him out of the street and that's what set the fire off in his muscles again.

The loud blare of a truck horn and the whoosh of air on the back of his neck when he turned around were his only clues as to what had just happened.  
Well, that and the look on Bird's face. The same one she'd had on the roof the night before.

"Hey pal!" A guy yelled at him, "You got a death wish or something?"

The stranger looked over to Bird, as if she could provide an explanation for him.

Instead all he got was a mumble of a thanks from Bird, for being so quick to react and helping her pull Jim out of the street just in time to avoid him being killed by the speeding trash truck.

Looping her arm with with Jim's, Bird pulled them both across the street to safety on the other side before she turned and asked, "What the hell was that?"

"I…" Jim swallowed. His brows furrowed and jaw lazily allowing his mouth to slack open, "I don't know."

•••

Bird sat on the couch in Jim's living room.

The T.V. was on, playing some show she'd tuned out a long time ago.

A once hot cup of coffee had long since grown cold sitting next to the clutter on the coffee table in front of her.

Every once in a while she'd glance over to where he was sitting on the other end of the couch.

Pretending to be invested in the program on the television; probably to avoid engaging in a conversation with her.

Bird had opened her mouth several times, but each and every time she'd stopped herself from saying anything.

At this point she wasn't even sure where to begin.

Part of her wanted to scream. Part of her felt like crying.  
She wanted to throw and break things.

A piece of her was still stuck on that rooftop. Seeing Jim standing on the ledge whenever she closed her eyes. Frozen there in fear all over again.

If one thing had gone differently that night, he'd be dead.

And that made everything they'd been feuding about seem so minuscule in the big picture.

Which brought back memories of her relationship with Harvey Dent. The times they'd be fighting and he'd be so angry with her. Then something would happen; he'd nearly lose her and suddenly all was forgiven.

Apparently it was true.  
You don't know what you've got until it's gone.

It was sick, she thought, how it takes nearly losing someone to understand exactly how much they mean to you.

As much as she tried to quiet the noise inside of her head, she just couldn't.

There was too much static. Too many thoughts of things she'd rather forget.

Her mind was even drifting back to the night she'd been shot.  
The feeling of the cold concrete under back, slick from her own blood.

The tingling numbness in her extremities. Unable to stop herself from trembling.

The pain. My god, the pain, she remembered and wouldn't ever be able to forget.

Feeling herself fading from existence -and then Jim.

The expression of horror on his face as he was above her. Trying to slow the bleeding. Begging for her to hang on.  
As if there were some safety bar that would appear out of thin air to give her something to cling to.

Bird turned her head. Looked over to where Jim was sitting again.

She was there.  
She wanted to tell him that. Tell him she still loved him; that she'd never stopped.

Beg him to hang on the same way he'd pleaded with her.

But her throat clenched shut. Not letting words out or air in.

He meant the world to her and yet she just couldn't bring herself to tell him that.

Deep down, as ridiculous as it felt to her logical mind, she was hurt.  
Wanting to ask him why she wasn't enough for him to want to stay around for.

Her chest ached, as if she'd been crying for days, even though her eyes were dry.

Logically she understood it really had nothing to do with her.

Plus, she'd been there herself. In the worst moments in her life. Thoughts creeping in from the darkest corners of her mind.

She knew all too well what it felt like. Wanting to die.  
The tricks and lies her mind would tell her. That there was only way out. One way to stop the pain.

And in those moments, all the love in the world wouldn't have been enough to cast a light at the end of tunnel.

The logic of it didn't stop her from being mad at him though.  
Anger at his ever being mad at her for leaving Gotham in the first place.

This situation here, the darkness he was drowning in, was something all to familiar for her and she'd ran to keep from getting swallowed up in it.

She'd lived and hurt and survived and felt those bad thoughts creeping in enough throughout her life to know when it started up again that there were steps that needed to be taken.

To avoid alcohol. It only seemed to fuel the fire.

Keep from isolating herself. No matter how badly she wanted to close herself off.

And more.

Steps she'd learned to take in order to save her own life. To keep her head above the pitch black waters.

Another bout of anger surged in her.  
Jim had been doing the exact opposite. He'd been hitting the bottle constantly.

Completely isolated himself in a house he couldn't be bothered to clean.

Surrounded by trash and clutter.

That was something else she'd learned. That living conditions affect mood and mindset.

She felt like Jim had been doing everything wrong and just allowing himself to be swallowed up in the depression and darkness.  
A tinge of resentment for his not realizing the life raft she kept tossing him before she finally packed up and left the city.

Slowly, she turned her head. Her eyes starring unblinking at the moving picture on the television.

He didn't know.  
She realized.

Something that she'd been struggling with for as long as she could remember.  
That the thoughts and feelings that had become so normal to her were foreign to others.

Jim probably hadn't even realized how bad things were. How bad he'd made things on himself.

He didn't realize how close he was to the ledge until he was literally standing on it.

"Turn it off."

"What?" Jim asked. Looking over when he heard Bird say something in a whisper.

"Turn it off." She repeated. Thrusting a hand towards the T.V, "Shut it off."

After a short search of patting around on the couch and shuffling unopened mail on the coffee table, he finally found the remote and shut the television set off.

"What's going on?" He asked, turning some on the cushion he was sitting on.  
Looking concerned about her.

"I was right." Bird didn't take her eyes off the now dark screen, "That morning I came here. I told you that you couldn't keep going on like this. The isolation. The aimlessness. The drinking. I was right, Jim."

He blinked. Stunned at the timing.

Less than twenty-four hours ago he'd been hypnotized into nearly leaping from a ledge to his death and Bird was going to pick now for an ' _I told you so'_ moment?

"And I get it." She continued, "That you weren't fully cognizant of it and all the damage you keep doing to yourself, but you see it now right?"

"What are you talking about?" He pushed.

"Are you okay?" Bird repeated her question from earlier that day.  
She already knew the truth. That he wasn't.

He was far from fine, she knew it.  
But she needed him to know it for himself. To admit it.

"Yes." Jim answered, "I already told you that you didn't need to be here keeping an eye on me. I'm fine."

"So you want me to leave?" Bird asked. Looking at him for the first time.

"Up to you." He answered in a rather despondent tone.

Standing up from the couch, she took a few steps towards the door.

She didn't know what to do.

If she left and something happened to him, then she'd never forgive herself. She wasn't sure she'd survive it herself.

But she also knew something else. Something she'd once said to Harvey Dent; that you can't love somebody back to good.

Bird turned around to find Jim was standing now too.  
Despite his saying she could go if she wanted, the speed in which she was going to leave startled him.

"It's me, Jim." Bird reminded him, her eyes searching his face, "You don't have to keep up this lone wolf tough act with me. I was there, remember? Through everything that happened. I don't need you to pretend that your fine. I need you to be honest with yourself and with me."

He slowly threw his arms out to either side. Letting them fall back and hang at his sides.  
A silent ' _what am I supposed to say_ '?

"Tetch got in my head." He tried to explain it away, "Planted those thoughts-"

"I don't think so." Bird cut him off, "I think he brought something to the surface that was already there."

"No-" Jim was fast to argue. A dismissive shake of the head at the ready.

"Do you know where I went?" Bird cut him off, trying a different approach. Total honesty on her side and if he continued to lie to her after that, then she was leaving, "When I left Gotham?"

"A beach." Jim answered. His forehead lined, not sure where this conversation was headed, but she looked like she was ready to confess something.

"Your hair was lighter when you got back." He explained how he'd come to that conclusion, "You had a tan and the freckles on your nose darkened like they do when you spend time out in the sun."

If she felt better, if the situation were any lighter than she'd have seized the opportunity to make a comment about how his time away from the GCPD hadn't dampened his detective skills.

"Miami." Bird took a step closer, "I went to Falcone's estate there."

With another step closer she asked, "Do you know why?"

"No." He admitted. Knowing that she usually tried to keep distance between them, "I don't."

"Because I was in a bad place." Bird openly admitted to him, "And I recognized it enough to know that I couldn't be on my own. And Jim, you know me… I don't like needing people. But I knew better than to try and tackle what I was going through on my own. I couldn't trust myself and I was scared."

Her gaze dropped to the floor, "Scared that if I didn't do something, I was going to just keep spiraling down."

"I get it." Jim realized that while he'd understood that and let go of the anger he'd held at her leaving that he'd never told her, "You really did need to go."

Emotion filled his eyes and he ran his tongue over his lips, "I'm glad you saved yourself."

"That's right." She nodded, her vision blurring behind the tears that had welled up in her own eyes, "I made the decision to do that. I took steps to get back on stable ground. The first one was facing down the fact that I couldn't do it by myself."

They stared at each other.  
Her silently pleading for him to drop the act and be just as open as she was being.  
Him wanting to tell her he was scared. That he still felt like he was on the ledge staring down at the lights and traffic below, but the words just wouldn't come out.

"I can't help you if you won't let me, Jim." Bird stated. Pulling in a deep breath, she forced the air back out of her lungs, "I can't take that first step for you. You have to do it yourself."

"So…" Her voice tried to crack, but she managed to keep it steady as she spoke, "You need to admit that things aren't okay. That you're not fine and I'll stay."

"Or, I'll leave." She breathed, "Because I will not stand here and watch you drown."

Her eyes locked with his before her gaze slid down his face to his mouth.  
Willing him to open it and speak.

But he didn't.

Nodding, she diverted her eyes away from him. Biting down on the side of her tongue, she turned away from him and took a step towards the door.

"Bird." He forced himself to speak. Breaking though self imposed silence.

Reaching out he grabbed onto her hand like it was the only thing on earth keeping him from drowning.

"Stay." Jim said. His eyes went from their connected hands back up to her face when she turned back to face him, "Please."

•••

Jim sat straight up in his bed with a gasp for air.  
His bare chest rising and falling rapidly as he greedily pulled in oxygen from the air.

He'd just woken from a dream; in which he'd been back on a rooftop, standing on the edge. Watching the city life blur beyond his feet, down on the street below.

Bird had been right.  
Jervis Tetch hadn't planted suicidal thoughts in his head, he'd only brought them to the surface. Intensified them with hypnosis and triggered something that kept filling Jim with thoughts of how to end his life.

Apparently it was even invading his dreams. More like nightmares.

Reaching up he rubbed his hands over his face and tried to steady his breathing. Remind himself that he was okay. That for the moment at least he was about as safe as he could be.

But he just couldn't stop the thoughts in his head. The unsteadiness of standing on the edge with cold air swirling around him.

Bird's scream.

That was the sound that had startled him awake from the nightmare.

He might have been the one who'd fell off the building, but the way she'd screamed after him sounded more like she'd gone over the edge.  
Plummeting to her own death. Her voice shattering the silence as she fell.

Shaking his head as if he could loosen the thoughts and they'd simply tumble from his ears. Jim pulled in another breath and looked around dimly lit room.

It was getting dark outside, but there was still some light present.  
Honestly, he wasn't sure if it was nightfall or dawn and he really didn't feel like getting his phone to check.

He laid back down, flat on his back and stared up at the ceiling until his breathing was normal and his heart was no longer threatening to burst straight from his ribcage.

Turning his head he looked over to where Bird was sleeping beside him. Apparently exhausted enough that his jerking awake hadn't brought her from her slumber.

She had the dark sheet tucked up under her arm as she lay on her side facing away from him.  
The sheet behind her was pulled down, exposing most of of her bare back.

It was then that he spotted something that caused him to raise back up.

The inked on image of a feather on her right shoulder blade, the top of which seemed to erupt into a flutter of birds in flight, reaching upwards to her shoulder.

A tattoo he knew for a fact she didn't have before she left Gotham and now wasn't sure how he'd missed it just hours before when they'd wound up in his bedroom.

He turned on his side, reached out a hand and trailed a gentle touch over the design on her back.  
The black ink a stark contrast against her fair skin.  
It suited her.

Pulling the top sheet up further over them. Jim scooted over to the middle of the bed.

Leaning in he pressed a kiss to the back of her shoulder and stayed in place.

His lips still on her skin.

He breathed in deeply. The faint scent of her favorite lotion bringing a small smile to his face.

He'd missed it. Missed her far more than he'd even let himself feel until he had her back.

And he did now.  
She was back in his life and back by his side.

Right where he wanted her. Where he needed her.

His arm snaked around her side under the blanket and his fingertips brushed over a raised set of scars on her side. Not the right shape and size for bullet wounds.

Laying his head down behind hers on the pillow he realized exactly which scars he'd found.

The ones from the night of the children's hospital benefit; when Jerome Valeska tried to force her to call her brother out from hiding.

She hadn't broken. She'd taken the pain with barely any sound.  
And in some ways, Jim figured that was probably worse and fueled the fire for whatever kind of interest the redhead had -had for her.

But Jerome wasn't a problem anymore. He was dead.

And now they had an all new set of problems to deal with.

He closed his eyes and tried to go back to sleep. Hoping that this time he'd have good dreams and not nightmares. Hell, he'd settle for no dreams at all.

Pulling in another breath, he readjusted the arm he had draped around Bird.  
Again feeling the scars under his fingers.

There were two up higher. Stab wounds from the small knife Jerome had used.  
They felt like a set of uneven eyes.

Then there was one under that. A longer one that had been deeper on one side and then grew shallow with the longer the cut had been.

A smile.  
Jim thought. The scars he'd left her with felt like a smile.

Along with those wounds, that night she'd also sustained a superficial laceration to the side of her neck and a cut down her forearm.

She'd have let him hurt her much more severely over giving in and calling Bruce out into danger.  
Jim had no doubt about that.

About the lengths she was not only willing to go to for the people she loved; but also what she'd put herself through for their sake.

Which was exactly why he needed to figure out what Jervis Tetch had done to his head and how to reverse it.

One of the reasons he'd been so hesitant to admit he wasn't okay to Bird, was knowing that she wouldn't leave after that. That if he asked, she'd stay and he wasn't sure how this problem with Tetch was going to end.

The last thing on earth he wanted was for her to get hurt by this or dragged down along with him.

Blinking a few times, he rested his eyes again. Pulling a deep breath and trying to formulate a plan of attack to conquer the thoughts in his head.

Tomorrow he'd go to the police station and convince Barnes to let him speak to Alice. If anyone knew how to reverse what Jervis had done to him; it would be his sister.

It wasn't much to go on yet.  
Just the beginning of a plan.

But it was a start.

•••

* * *

 **A/N - Thank you for reading!  
I hope my Bim shippers are still around and that you're all happy to see Bird and Jim get back together. Even if it took his nearly dying for it to happen. :P  
**

 **I want to thank: SmellYourScentForMiles, xenocanaan, Shadow knight1121, Munyue, ThatMysteriousSlime, Rasiel Hasu, Love. Fiction. 2018, TVDobsession106, xxXWolfsLullabyXxx, Katniss789, DancingDorisDay and the Guests who all took the time to review and leave feedback on the last chapter.**  
 **You're all amazing and I appreciate you so much!**

 **I always love hearing from my readers and your feedback helps me stay inspired! ^_^  
**


	6. Bird in Flight

**VI - Bird in Flight  
**

" _Last night I lost the world, and gained the universe."- C. JoyBell C."_

* * *

•••

"You can go." Jim said, leaning back against the counter in his kitchen and pausing to take a drink from his coffee. Looking to where Bird was checking the time, yet again, he added, "I know how important this is to you."

Bird sat her glass mug of coffee down on the table surface in front of where she was sitting at the uneven surface he was calling a kitchen table with lowered brows as she admitted, "Really? Just like that? And not one comment about how I shouldn't support a known criminal becoming the mayor?"

With a half-shrug, Jim gave her a silent smile through the steam rising from the coffee he was taking another sip from.

"Oh…" Bird realized, "I get it. You're not saying anything because you don't really think Oswald will win. Yet, you publicly supported Galavan when he ran for mayor-"

"I bought into his act." Jim loudly said over her, "I didn't know who he really was; no one did."

In a quieter voice he added, "But the whole city knows Oswald Cobblepot is a criminal. He was in Arkham."

"So was I." Bird was quick to point out.

"And so was Nygma." Jim stated, "And the three of you are the faces for this campaign run."

She caught the playful look in his eyes just seconds before the comment would have elicited anger from her.  
He was joking -at least in part.

"Hmm." She hummed with a smile at him, "I think he's going to win the election."

Jim opened his mouth to tell her that he didn't want to spend the morning debating politics with her; especially when there was no possible way they were come to an agreement on the matter.  
Not while she was still claiming Oswald as her best friend.

"We'll see." Jim replied with yet another shrug.

Bird stared at him in silence as she took another drink of her coffee.

Did he really not already suspect the election was going to be rigged? That money was padding the pockets of people with the power to make sure Oswald was going to be the city's new mayor?

After everything Jim had gone through and there was still a part of him that believed the law would win; Bird didn't have a clue how people could hold onto hope like that.

"Yep." She nodded, "We'll see."

Jim's eyes narrowed inquisitively at her.  
There it was again. The feeling that she knew more than he did and wasn't planning on filling him in.

He watched her as she again checked the time.  
A press conference-slash-rally for Oswald's campaign was starting in about an hour and Bird had made it a point to tell him this more than once that morning. Offering just as many times to accompany him to the police station instead of going to the political event.

The last they'd spoke of it, he'd assured her he'd be fine to head to the police station alone and she said she was going to the rally but would keep her phone on the entire time if he needed something.

Yet here they sat nearly an hour after coming to that agreement and she hadn't taken a step closer to the door.

He was about to reassure he was going straight to the police station to talk to Alice and see what she knew about how to break the spell her brother had put him under, when there was a knock at the door.

Setting the cup of the coffee down on the counter, he walked over to answer it.

"Morning." Bullock loudly greeted as Jim opened the door.  
His former partner breezed inside the house past him.

"Harv? Hey…" Jim started to ask him what he was doing there so early before Bird spoke before he got the chance.

"About time." She said with a tight smile.

Jim looked back to see she was no longer sitting at the table. She was now standing in the living room with them, her purse already slung up on her shoulder.

Now he understood why Bird hadn't left and kept checking the time. She'd been waiting on Bullock.

"You called Harvey to babysit me?" Jim realized.

"Come on." Bullock slapped a heavy hand on the back of Jim's shoulder, "You and me heading into GCPD. It'll be just like old times."

Jim did his best to offer up a friendly smile in his direction, but fell the gesture fell short.

Not only had Bird called someone to keep an eye on him, but apparently had also filled Bullock in on what was going on and didn't trust him to be alone.

"Don't be mad." Bird stepped up to him, much closer than necessary, "He's just going to make sure you stay alive while I'm gone at the press rally."

"Yeah." Bullock practically snorted, "Penguin for mayor."

With an abrupt head-turn, Bird shot the detective a look that could have scorched the earth where he stood.

Then with the same abruptness she faced Jim again. An expectant look on her face.

"I understand." Jim agreed. His gaze falling to the floor and then back up to her face when she didn't say anything or go anywhere.

"I'm not mad." His eyebrows raised. Not sure what she was waiting on him to say at this point.  
He still wasn't exactly happy she'd called someone to watch him while she away, but he understood.  
At this point he couldn't entirely trust himself.

Bird's eyebrows shot upwards on her forehead. Matching his expression but still not speaking.  
Still waiting for something.

When she cocked her head ever so slightly to one side and continued to stare at him with barely any open space between them, Jim finally understood.

She was waiting on him to kiss her.  
More so daring him to. After all she knew he wasn't one for public displays of affection.

Leaning in, Jim pressed his mouth to hers.  
Dare accepted.

With a smile on her lips. Bird stepped back from the kiss and said, "I'll call you when the rally is over."

Jim nodded.

She started out the door, but then stooped in the doorway and looked back to Bullock.

"I got it." He spoke before she could. Knowing what she was going to say about him keeping Jim off the ledge until she could meet back up with him.  
Jutting a thumb to his own chest be promised, "Uncle Harvey's got this. Don't worry."

Her nose wrinkled. She'd asked him several times to stop referring to himself as Uncle Harvey.

Once she was out of sight, Bullock looked back to Jim, who avoided his eyes and said, "I'll grab my coat."

"Yeah. Yeah." Bullock called after him.

Now alone in the living room, Bullock took his hat off and rubbed a hand through his hair.

The city seemed to be going to hell again. Not that it ever stopped; but the bad seemed to come in waves.

Not only was Penguin trying to be mayor, but they had a woman in holding at the station with poison in her blood who's brother was obsessed with her and hypnotized Jim into nearly killing himself.

And now, apparently Bird and Jim were back together.  
At this point he wasn't sure if it was a good or a bad thing.  
Only time would tell.

But he knew it was bound to happen.

He'd tried to warn Jim since day one to stay away from Bird; said she was nothing but bad news.  
Just another mark in an infinite list of the times his partner didn't listen to him.

Of course, since then Bullock had grown fond of her too. More than he'd care to admit. Turns out she wasn't all that bad and when it came down to it she'd had their backs numerous times.

Well, except for the time she gave the orders to Zsasz and his crew to light the bar they were in up in a storm of bullets after Butch had crossed them and Penguin's mother got killed.

He still wasn't fully over that; but she had tried to warn them ahead of time to leave. And she was standing there with them. She'd essentially signed her own death warrant that day too when she gave the call.

He was still sure she was crazy, but he had to hand it to her, the girl had guts.

"Ready?" Jim questioned as he slid his coat on while walking back into the room.

"So, you and crazy eyes…?" Bullock asked.

"Yeah." Jim gave a single nod. Decisive. Abrupt.

"Let's get to the station." He nodded towards the still open front door of his house.

The sooner he was able to find out how to reverse what Tetch had done to him the better.  
He wasn't sure when the next near miss might happen.

"Sure thing, partner." Bullock slipped his hat back on and followed him outside. Mumbling, "I knew it." Under his breath.

The moment he'd seen Bird back in Gotham he knew it would only be a matter of time before they'd put whatever happened behind them and end up all tangled up in each other again.

He should have hedged a bet, he thought.

That's how sure he was about it.

It seemed like the more they tried to stay away from one another, the more intertwined they got.

Like a fly caught in a spider web. Growing ever more entangled with each escape attempt.

Of course that begged the question of who was spider and who was the fly.

To begin with, he'd have placed all his money on Bird spinning the web, but now he wasn't so sure.

Hell, he thought to himself, maybe at the end of the day all anyone was -was a fly being wrapped in spider's silk.

•••

Bird made it to the her friend's speech just in time.

Of course, the tips of her hair were still damp from her shower and she'd done her make-up surprisingly well in the back of the car on the way.

If she didn't know any better, she'd have sworn her driver was hitting every bump and pothole they passed on purpose.

The building was already packed. Alive with movement and chatter as Oswald's supporters talked among themselves, enjoyed the free refreshments and the press finished setting up both inside by the podium and outside on the street.

A few candid, deer caught in headlights type photos of Bird were snapped just as she made her way inside the event.

Quickly pulling herself to together. She turned on the charm. Wide smiles and gracious handshakes to everyone who came to greet her.

A few people even asked to have their picture taken with her. Just before she'd found Oswald, a little girl came running up to her with a napkin and a marker asking for her autograph.

Such a strange feeling; but since she'd come back to Gotham, more shelters had opened. She'd been in several papers and magazines articles over the last month about all of the good Wayne Enterprises was doing.

Pictures of both her and Oswald had graced the front pages for a few weeks since he'd announced his intent to run for mayor.  
They were local celebrities now.

Of course, with the good had also came the bad.  
The articles dredging up their pasts.

For every few good pictures published of them, some publication would post mugshots and Arkham intake photos. Summaries of crimes and speculations of current involvement in Gotham's underworld.

The good seemed to outweighing the bad.  
For the time being at least, approval ratings were up.

Of course the recent surge of her name skyrocketing to the headlines had a downside.

Renewed interest in her from Jerome's still growing cult following.

She'd far underestimated his affect on people.  
She remembered the surge right after he'd been killed.  
With the televised debacle the children's hospital benefit had turned into. His death on live TV.

With news stations showing footage over and again, his laugh was echoing through the living rooms of Gotham long after he'd taken his last breath.

She'd expected most of the people who'd gotten obsessed with him to move onto something else within a few months, but she'd been wrong.

Judging by the amount of HA-HA-HA graffiti covering the city -the cult of lunatics practically worshiping him was still growing.

And apparently still obsessively watching the footage from the benefit when he'd cut her -judging from the amount of still frames from that night that kept showing up in her mailbox and even at her office at work.

There was even still the occasional person who'd stroll up to her on the street and repeat the same words Jerome had said that night.

" _I think I'm in love."_ He'd said. Stunned and intrigued by the way she wouldn't show the pain. His hand with the short blade knife had been stained and slick with her blood. _"Oh, it's definitely love."_

"Bird!" Oswald greeted with a wide yet strained smile, when he found his his best friend, "There you are."

"I thought you were going to miss my speech." He came to a stop facing her.  
He was keeping the polite act up but she could see his jaw tense.

"Of course not." Bird shook her head, "Sorry for running late-"

"You weren't home last night." Oswald stepped in closer, "I wanted to go over the speech we wrote one more time, but when I came by you weren't there."

"Jim Gordon?" He guessed before she could say anything or give an excuse.

"Yes, but-" She tried to get a word in, but he wasn't interested in hearing her side.

"No matter." He waved a dismissive hand through the air, "Ed and I rehearsed it. He had some wonderful ideas on how to improve the speech."

"It didn't need improved." Bird's eyes narrowed, "It was perfect."

"It was lacking."

Anger coursed through her veins. She could feel her cheeks starting to burn with it.

Lacking?  
She'd sat up helping him write that very speech one night. Went over and changed it so many times she'd went into the office with barely an hour of sleep.

"Oswald." She grabbed onto his arm when it looked as if he was going to turn and walk away from her, "Do you really think it's smart to be changing things last minute. We both agreed it was perfect."

Looking down to where her hand was gripping his arm in an almost painfully tight squeeze, he kept a smile on his lips and repeated, "It. Was. Lacking."

"Mr. Cobblepot! Miss Wayne!" Someone called out.

Immediately, their tense expressions loosened as they turned to the photographer from a local paper who'd called out their names.

They leaned in together to pose for the picture. His arm slid naturally around her and they smiled from ear-to-ear. Looking to be the absolute best of friends who'd never have a disagreement at all.  
-Let alone be in the middle of one.

"Mr. Penguin." One of the aides for his campaign, came rushing over to him, clutching a clipboard with an buzz of nervousness thick in the air around him, "They're ready for you."

The aide's eyes widened when he saw Bird, "Miss Bird. You have to take your place."

With that his hand was on her arm and she was being led through the deafening loudness of the crowd. Hundreds of people all talking at once. Cellphones ringing and camera's clicking with blinding flash photography.

"Here." The aide who's name she couldn't remember or had never bothered to remember in the first place, "You'll stand here."

She was pushed into place beside where Edward Nygma was standing.

Just the sight of him was already ruining her day.  
Made even worse by the fact that they'd placed him closest to the podium.

Nygma look at her. Pushed his glasses back up on his nose with a single finger and then smiled at her.  
And as she watched the smile stretch his cheeks, she was struck at realizing how big his mouth was.

She returned the smile with one of her own innocently enough; when the only thing she could think was how badly in that moment she wanted to knock his teeth out.

"You're late." Nygma smugly pointed out.

Bird couldn't tell if he was trying to piss her off even more or if it was just his odd social skills.

In that moment she didn't care if wasn't on purpose. She wanted to hurt him either way.

Elbow him in the ribs. Stop on his foot.  
Childish tantrums threatened to burst her apart at the seams.

She'd been there for Oswald since the day they met and now here he was, finally getting the recognition and attention he'd so desperately craved and Edward Nygma was literally standing between them.

Pulling in a deep breath she tried to calm herself down.

Oswald stepped up the podium and the room fell into silence. Not only was the floor packed shoulder to shoulder, but the stairs were lined with voters ready to sing his praises.

Bird caught Oswald's eye and smiled at him -that was until Nygma took a half-step forward and literally got between them again.

That had to be on purpose. Bird was sure of it.

Her eyes full of rage landed on Nygma.

And she could see him laying bloody on the floor. His cracked glasses strewn alongside his motionless body.

There was a flagpole not far away with a bright American flag on display, a shiny pointed tip on the top of the pole. She imagined impaling him on it.  
Shoving it through his stomach; puncturing and rearranging organs.

She thought how easy it would be to take off his stupid green tie and strangle him with it.  
His panicked gasps music to her ears by the time it would be done.

A round of applause echoed like thunder around the room and pulled her from the violent thoughts plaguing her mind.

Oswald smiled and nodded in appreciation at the support and Bird realized she hadn't heard a word of his speech.  
She'd instead been dreaming up about a hundred ways she could kill and dispose of Nygma.

By the time her brain caught up to her surroundings, her clapping was delayed and drew some unwanted attention.

Oswald pulled in a deep breath. Readying himself for the end of the speech. The home stretch.

That was until the undivided attention in the room split into everyone glancing around at the sound of a phone ringing.

Bird's eyes widened when she felt the ringing vibrations from the black, diamond studded clutch purse she'd brought with her to hold her phone and a few other other things.

Snapping the purse open, she pressed down on every button she could find on the side of the flip phone until it stopped ringing and stood in place until Oswald started back up.

Stealthily flipping the phone open to see who'd called, she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw it was a number she didn't know.  
Probably one of Jerome's misguided groupies. She rolled her eyes.

Glancing down from the corner of his eye, Nygma smirked as he questioned, "Lover boy?"

"Shut up." Bird growled under her breath. Catching him both off guard and by surprise.

Snapping the clutch closed, she allowed herself to breathe.  
It wasn't Jim or Bullock calling.  
Which meant Jim was safe. Hopefully onto a way of curing himself of what Jervis Tetch had done.

"My beloved mother always believed in me." Oswald paused for a photo op, "Even when I doubted myself. She held firm."

Pointing out to the crowd, Oswald continued, "Seeing all of your smiling faces reminds me that there is nothing you cannot do if you put your mind to it. And when I am mayor, I believe… no; I know, that together, we can make Gotham safe again!"

Nygma's eyes narrowed as something caught his eye from across the room. An exchange of a thick envelope passed from Butch to a man he was sure worked for the election board.

He left his post to go see what was going on and Bird took advantage of the open space to step closer to where Oswald was standing.

The room erupted in cheers and applause as he finished the speech sure to win him the election.

Oswald took a step back from the podium. Bowing and smiling at the crowd.  
Then Bird was at his side.

Her fingers intertwining with his. His hands still shaking as she raised their arms up in the air.

Celebrating the soon to be victory together.

Triumphant with thousand watt smiles shining from both of them.  
Bird satisfied for the time being. Knowing this was the winning shot they'd use on the front page of the Gotham Gazette.

Just the two of them. No Edward Nygma.

It was several minutes later that the crowed had finally thinned out some. Camera crews had already packed and left.

Bird stood off the to the side and pulled her phone out of her clutch, putting it to her ear to listen to the voicemail from the number she didn't recognize or answer earlier.

"Miss Wayne. This is Captain Nathaniel Barnes of GCPD. There was an incident at the station earlier. I need you to call me back. James Gordon is…"  
Bird's heart started to thunder away in her chest. She felt clammy and overheated all at once.  
Her eyes wide in terror as she waited to hear the rest of the message.

The captain sighed heavily into the phone, "Look, Jim's alive. But he tried to, uh… I don't know who else to call and Bullock suggested you. So…"

With her phone still open in her hand, Bird walked over to where Oswald was talking to Nygma.

"I assume you know Butch is paying campaign officials to swing the election in your favor?" Nygma questioned. His eyes moving from Oswald's face over to where Bird was approaching them.

"You don't approve?" Oswald stepped closer to him, "My dear Ed, this is Gotham. This is how things are done."

"I have to leave." Bird said as she reached them. Her voice barely came out in a whisper and no one seemed to hear her.

"And in theory I support that… but Oswald don't you see how these people are cheering for you?" Nygma asked.

"Yes." Oswald swayed on his feet some, "They do seem very excited. But why risk it? I want this, Ed. I want this like I've never wanted anything."

"I know." Ed nodded, leaning in close to Oswald's face, "Which is why you need to call off Butch."

"Hey…" Bird tried to cut in, but just couldn't get her voice to raise where anyone could hear her.  
She thought this was going to be over. That Alice would know some cure to what her brother did to Jim and that she'd be able to close her eyes without seeing him standing on that ledge again or stepping out in front of a speeding truck.

"Excuse me. Mr. Penguin?" A young girl said in a sugary sweet cotton candy voice.

She had tan skin and dark brunette hair in curled pig tails from under her white hat with a bow on it.

Bird looked over as Oswald turned to greet her, "Well, hello there."

The little girl looked like a living doll.

"I just wanted to thank you for getting rid of the monsters." She added with a bright smile. Her rosy pink cheeks turning to apples as she smiled.

Speechless, Oswald reached a hand out and gently laid it on hr arm with a small appreciative squeeze.

"Do you see?" Oswald turned back to Ed, "People look at me differently now. For the first time in my life I feel wanted."

"Nice doing business with you." The girl held out her greedy little hand. The sweetness gone from her voice.

Pulling a crisp twenty dollar bill from his pocket, Ed handed it to the little girl and she happily bounced away from them.

"And how do you feel now?" Ed questioned.

"I feel like I've misjudged someone who's supposed to be my friend."

"I am your friend." Ed assured him, "I can't be bought, but I can be stolen with a glance. I'm worthless to one but priceless to two. What am I?"

"I don't care." Oswald choked back emotion, "I don't need a stupid riddle right now. I know what I want. I want to be mayor. Stay out of it Ed. I'm warning you."

Spinning in place, he turned to Bird, as if she was once again the center of his world, "Ready to go? We have that lunch with-"

"I have to go." She apologized, "I wish I could but something came up."

Oswald's eyes fell to the still open cellphone in her hand and he guessed, "Jim Gordon?"

Not even giving her time to answer, he turned and hobbled away, mumbling under his breath about how all anyone does is disappoint him.

Bird started to leave, but then looked back at Nygma.

"I'm trying to help him." He promised.

But Bird didn't buy it. She didn't trust him.

"By being cruel to him?" Bird scoffed, "That's all anyone has ever been to him."

"Except you?" Nygma guessed.

"Yeah." Bird started to turn back around and Nygma called after her, "Absence when someone needs you could be considered just as cruel."

She wanted to scream at him. Turn back around and punch him square in the face. See the bright white collar of his shirt turn red from blood.

But she didn't.

Too many cameras and witnesses around.

Not to mention she was in a rush to get to the GCPD and find out what exactly had happened. Barnes didn't say much from the message, but what he had said wasn't good.

•••

Bird stood with her arms folded across her chest, staring out into the afternoon sun from one of the rooms on the second story of the GCPD building.

Behind where she stood, Jim was asleep in a chair -more like unconscious.

Jervis Tetch had gotten Gotham's most notorious wrestling family, The Terrible Tweeds, to be his muscle and they'd stormed the station earlier that day.

A few officers had been killed, many more injured. Two of the Tweeds died in the fight as well.

Bird was told by Barnes that Tetch pulled out a pocket watch and next thing he knew Jim turned his gun on himself, barrel to the side of his head and had the Captain not knocked him unconscious with his cane, Jim would be dead.

So far that was about one and only thing she ever felt the need to say thank you to Nathaniel Barnes for.

Oswald had called her while she was standing in the room supervising Jim and waiting for him to wake up.

But she hadn't answered. Partly because she was mad at him and felt like he was replacing her with Nygma.  
And partly because she already had so much on her mind she didn't think she could handle anything else.

Hearing a groan from behind her, Bird turned around to see Jim was starting to stir.

"Hey…" Bird said when she couldn't think of anything else to say in that moment, "How are you feeling?"

Looking confused, Jim started to try and stand up, to go to her, but he couldn't.

His left wrist had been handcuffed to the chair. He couldn't go anywhere.

"What is this?" Jim tugged on his wrist, the metal cut scraping against the metal chair railing, "What's going on."

"Barnes told me what happened during the attack-" Bird started to fill him in.

But her cut her off, "Nothing happened."  
His eyes fell to the floor. He couldn't face her when he said it because it was a lie.

She knew it and he knew it.

"Back to the denial." Bird quietly said.

"Bird. Listen." He was trying to plead with her, but his tone came out gruff, "You have to uncuff me. Tetch took Alice-"

"I didn't cuff you." Bird stubbornly argued, "Barnes did. After he knocked you out to keep you from spraying your brains all over the station, Jim."

Jim closed his eyes. Ran his tongue over his lips and turned his head away from her.

This was not how he pictured the day going at all.

After the nightmare he'd had, he was able to get back to sleep. Actually rest for a few hours and when he woke back up, he felt better.

The future didn't feel so bleak anymore.

Bird was still there next to him. He hadn't dreamt that part.  
And he didn't feel like he wanted to die.

For while he even considered the hold Tetch had gotten on him had somehow been broken.

But it wasn't.

The suicidal impulse he'd planted was triggered by ticking and within seconds of seeing the pocket watch, all hope and happiness had been drained from him.

He remembered the cold metal of the gun against the side of his forehead.  
Feeling like everything would be so much better if he pulled the trigger.

No more pain.  
No more loss.  
No more guilt.

No more anything.

"Bird-"

"Jim." She cut him off.

"I have to get out of here. Tetch took Alice. And he's the only one who can reverse what he's done to me." He tried to explain.

As if what he was saying was completely logical.  
Never-mind the fact that every time he got around Jervis Tetch he ended up seconds away from killing himself.

"We'll figure something else out." Bird shook her head.

"They want you on a seventy-two hour suicide watch-"  
She started to say.

"Three? Three days?" He yelled.  
Growing agitated he started roughly pulling at the handcuffs to no avail.

"No. Bird. Listen." His words were choppy. Voice frantic. "I have to get out of here and find Tetch. You -you said you wanted to help me. So help me." He jerked on the handcuffs, "Help me get out of here."

"It's already done." Bird's voice sounded empty. Disconnected.

Detachment for her own well-being and at this point he couldn't blame her.  
But he had to get out of there. Had to save Alice and then himself.

And even though he knew none of this was Bird's fault, she was the one standing there. The one telling him no.  
He felt trapped.

"Bird-"

"It's done." She repeated, "I'm told that Lee already signed off on it."

"No. I have to get out of here-"

"They're going to transport you upstate in a few hours for the…" Her mouth went dry, "For the suicide watch. I…I-" Running her hands through her hair she stammered, "I don't know where exactly. Barnes wouldn't tell me."

She kept talking. Wouldn't listen to him and he didn't know the right words to say to make her understand.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Jim couldn't stop himself from asking, "I'm trying to tell you why I need your help and you aren't listening to me."

"I'm listening." Bird bit down on the side of her tongue so hard it bled. The coppery taste tinged on her tongue, "But you're asking me to set you free so that you can track down the same person who keeps getting you to try and kill yourself."

"That's not gonna happen." He promised.  
Determined he'd beat this.

"But it could." Bird sighed, "Three times in the last two days I've came within minutes of losing you forever. If Alice hadn't showed up when she did on the roof -you'd be dead. If I hadn't pulled you out of the street -you'd be dead. If Barnes had been seconds slower to react today -you'd be dead."

"And I'm not doing anything to you." She continued stepping closer, "But you are. You're asking me to uncuff you and set you free when there's a fifty/fifty chance you're going to have another brush with suicide and what if no one gets to you quick enough this time, huh?"

"No." She shook her head. Arms falling weakly at her sides. "You can't ask that of me."

Bird eyed the door and Jim knew he had to get through to her before she left.

"I'm asking you to trust me." Jim clarified.  
Reaching out he had to strain some, but was able to reach her hand.

"Trust me." He repeated, "You've always had my back. And I know it sounds like a lot this time, but you have to believe me, I can beat this-"

She leaned down. Cutting off his pleas with her own mouth when she pressed a kiss to his lips.

Pulling back she stared at him.

Wondering if the situation were reversed what would he do?

Let her be sent away for her own good to keep her alive or trust her enough to let her do she wanted, even if it came at the risk of losing her for good.

Bird didn't know and it wasn't as if she could ask him and get an honest answer.  
He'd say he'd let her make her own choice. At this rate it looked like he'd say anything to get what he wanted; to be set free.

Leaning in, she kissed him once more, before turning and leaving the room.

"Bird!" He yelled after her. Trying to get up once again as if he'd already forgotten he was was cuffed to the chair and couldn't go anywhere.

Closing his eyes, he sank back into the chair. Exhaling a large sigh and giving up on his struggle to be set free.

He didn't know where she was going. If she was going to get someone to let him go or if she was leaving.  
Possibly even to track down Jervis Tetch on her own.

Something else that terrified him. It wasn't so unusual for Bird to seem like she already had a foot off the ledge at times like it wouldn't take much to send her over.

His heart picked up speed.

What if she found Tetch on her own and he got inside her mind?  
Would he plant a suicidal impulse in her as well or bring something else out?

"Hey!" Jim loudly yelled turning his head around and straining to see the closed door of the room.  
Hoping that someone would hear him.

He needed out. Not only for himself. Not only to save Alice from her brother.  
But now he was concerned about Bird as well.

•••

Bullock was walking towards his desk, a small stack of files in one hand and a cup of stale tasting coffee in the other.

He came to a stop, his eyes growing a little wide as he saw Bird was standing there. Waiting on him.

Trying to act natural and not draw attention, he turned around and stared back the other way, but it was too late. He'd already been spotted.

"Bullock!"

"Hey…" He cheesed a smiled as he turned back around and continued on his original path to his desk.

"What the hell happened?" Bird's eyebrows were lowered in anger.

She'd called him that morning because she was afraid for Jim to be on his own and Bullock had promised he wouldn't let Jim out of his sight. That he'd keep him alive. Keep him safe.

"You had one job, Bullock." She grumbled at him.

"Actually…" He argued, "I have this job here. See-" He motioned around them, "And I did what I said would. Jim's alive, isn't he?"

"Thanks to Barnes." She reminded him.

He could have argued more with her. Pointed out that the station was under attack from a wrestling family and that fellow officers had been severely injured in the confrontation. That he'd been fighting for his own life.

But he felt bad. He felt guilty.

Jim had told him several times that morning that he was fine. That he was feeling better and he looked fine.

Bullock had believed him enough that he hadn't truly kept him in sight at all times like he'd promised to do.

Bird blinked rapidly, diverting her gaze away from him and down to the floor.  
It wasn't Bullock's fault.

Taking in a deep breath she asked, "What now?"

"We got one of the Tweeds." Bullock nodded towards the interrogation room, "I'm gonna talk to him. Sweat him for a while and see if I can get a location on where Tetch might be hiding out."

"I mean about Jim." She clarified. Taking a step closer and lowering her voice, "Where are they taking him for the suicide watch? Are we really letting that happen?"

"I don't know." Bullock eyed her.  
The only time they ever became a 'we' was when it came to Jim.

"About any of it." He added.

"He all but begged me to uncuff him so he can track down Tetch." Bird shook her head, "I don't know what to do. A part of me says I need to trust him and the other part is worried about what could happen and I…"

Her voice trailed off.

"Well, if it were up to me…" Bullock began, "Jim's always had my back. I figure I'd owe him the same."

"But." He continued, "Not like we could just uncuff him and walk right outa the station. Barnes, he's watching us like a hawk." Subtly he nodded up towards the Captain's office, "Have to wait until he's being transported."

"You just told me you don't where they're sending him." Bird reminded him.

"I don't. Far as I know only two people do. Barnes and then the doctor who signed off on it." Bullock said as he tucked his hands in his pockets and gave a half-hearted attempt a shrug.

"Lee." Bird blew out a breath, "You're going to have to talk to her."

"Not me." He picked up the files he'd laid down on his desk and took a few steps backwards, "I've got a date with one of the Terrible Tweeds."

Motioning to her with the the manila folders, he called out, "No law against a citizen having a conversation with the M.E."

Bird let out an audible groan.  
There was no way she'd be able to convince Barnes to spill the beans on which facility they were going to be sending Jim to.

That left Lee.  
Someone Bird planned on seeing as little as possible, even if the other woman was about to marry into her family.

•••

Lee looked up when she heard a knock on the open door of her office.

"Bird?" She greeted her expression falling into a look verging between confusion and concern.

"Lee. Hey." Bird smiled as she stepped into the office.

Lee's eyes went to the paper cup branded with the logo from the coffee shop around the corner in Bird's hand, which she was holding out like a peace offering.

"Caramel macchiato, right?" Bird offered up another smile. Half-pride at her own memory from when they'd had coffee together a while ago and trying to appear friendly.

"Thanks…" Lee carefully took the cup from her and sat it down on her desk.

Bird's sudden attempt at warm friendliness had only managed to unsettle Lee, who shifted uncomfortably on her feet and tried to think of a polite way to ask what she wanted.

Bird read her like an open book. Able to see immediately how on edge and unsettled Lee was from her being there.

Though she wasn't entirely sure if it was because Lee still felt bad for the things she'd said to her before or if it had more to do with Bird's sudden switch from avoiding her to a random act of kindness.

Bird looked down to her feet and thought about trying to lighten the mood. Nearly cracked a joke about how the coffee was safe to drink, that poison wasn't really her style.

But she refrained. She, herself, thought it was funny. But often her humor only managed to make other people more uncomfortable.

"I don't mean to be rude." Lee cleared her throat. The ticking of her high heels slow and steady against the floor as she stepped out from her behind her desk and walked closer, but still kept a distance between them, "But do you need something?"

Realizing exactly how rude that sounded when Bird was apparently really making an effort to be nice, Lee shook her head, "I just mean that the last time I tried to talk to you, you seemed like you couldn't wait to get away and now… here we are."

Bird pursed her lips together.  
She could try to be charming. Bring about some small talk and feign interest in the upcoming wedding.

But she was a direct person by nature and always preferred to get down to the point other than beating around the bush.

And truthfully, she felt like the peace offering of the espresso based drink was a nice enough gesture on her part.

"I know you're the one who signed off on putting Jim on a suicide watch." Bird said.  
When she saw Lee quickly gear up a defense, Bird held up a hand and added, "I get it. You're just doing your job and this isn't the first time he's tried to kill himself in the last few days."

"Then why are you here?" Lee crossed her arms over her chest, "If you understand why I signed off on it… what do you want from me?"

"I need to know which facility he's being taken to." Bird admitted.

"Oh." Lee seemed relieved, "Typically after he's admitted, they'll reach out, let you know if and when he's allowed visitors and-"

"No." Bird cut her off, "I need to know where he's going and which officers are taking him there."

"Why?"

"So I can stop it before he gets admitted."

"Are you kidding?" Lee stepped a little closer, "Please tell me that this is some attempt a joke. I signed off on it because he needs help. He needs constant supervision to keep him safe."

"And what happens after the seventy-two hours, Lee?" Bird pushed, "When that impulse Tetch planted is still there? Then what? He can't very well live the rest of his life on suicide watch."

"Captain Barnes is looking for Jervis Tetch." Lee explained, "When they arrest him, we'll have the answers we need to help Jim."

"And when is that going to happen?" Bird's eyebrows raised.

"The best officers here are on the case-"

"Jim is the best." Bird argued, her head cocked to one side, "We both know if anyone can track Tetch down, it's going to be Jim."

"That's your plan?" Lee nearly laughed, "Let Jim be the one to hunt down the very same person who's made him suicidal?"

"No." Lee continued, shaking her head as she spoke, "It's too dangerous. It's reckless. Alice said that when the first hypnosis was broken that the impulse should have vanished, but it didn't."

"Because Tetch didn't just plant something in Jim's mind." Bird nodded, "He brought something to the surface that was already there. I know."

"Then how-" Lee stammered, "How does this sound like a sound decision to you?

"Because I'm choosing to trust Jim." Bird admitted.  
In that moment making the decision that she would help him.

She'd came there to find out information and planned on talking to Bullock again, but she hadn't fully made up her mind on what was best. Not until then.

"It's his decision to make and if he says the only way he'll be free of this is go after Tetch. Then I have to respect that. It's his life." Bird said.

The words leaving her mouth felt like they'd opened up a black hole in her stomach.  
Hollow and empty. Holding nothing but fear and anxiousness.

It's one thing to love someone.  
It's something entirely different to love and trust someone enough to respect their choices when the cost of it going south could be losing them.

Lee's mouth hung open. She didn't know what to say.

On one hand Bird's argument sounded like the most logical thing she'd heard all day; but also the craziest, in the way that Jim wasn't exactly in the shape to make those decisions.

"Bird." Lee cleared her throat, "If you really care about him then-"

"Don't." Bird cut her off in an instant. Her eyes appearing shades darker than seconds before as she raised her head and locked eyes with her, "Don't ever question how much I care about him."

She came just short of pointing out that she was there trying to go about this the right way instead of using threats of violence or sneaking about to get the information she needed.

"Okay." Lee conceded on that end. "But what if this doesn't work out?"

"Then I guess it's on me, huh?" Bird gave a weak shrug.

"And you could live with that?" Lee asked.

"It's going to work out." Bird argued, "And it's not like he'll be going after Tetch entirely on his own. Bullock and I will be there."

Lee's head dropped forward and she let out a sigh of defeat.  
She remembered a time when she once whole-heartedly believed in Jim too.

Turning back to her desk, Lee turned the clipboard with the transfer information towards her and copied it down on a dark pink sticky note, which she then pulled from the pad of matching sticky notes and handed it over to Bird.

"Thank you." Bird sincerely said.

Just as she turned to leave and meet back up with Bullock, Lee called after her, "Alice told me her brother's way into someones mind is much deeper than just hypnosis. That he prays on anger and regret and fear."

Nervously, she wrung her hands in front of her and shrugged, "I don't know how much help knowing that is going to be to you or Jim. But I hope it helps."

"Thanks." Bird nodded.

"And I really, really hope you're making the right decision here." Lee's voice echoed after her.

Bird didn't turn back. Didn't say anything else to her.

Instead she headed out into the police station in search of Bullock. Who was lingering by the water cooler trying to look and act natural, knowing Barnes had been watching him.

"There you are." He called out when he saw Bird. Crumpling the paper cup in his hand, he tossed it into the nearby waste basket and told her, "The transport van left about seven minutes ago. You get anything?"

"Here." Bird handed him the pink sticky noted and Bullock looked at it.

When he read who the officers were in charge of the transport, he smiled a cocky grin. One of them owed him a favor and it was time to call it in.

"I got this." He folded the note up and started for the door, "Figure I'll call in a favor. See if these two feel like taking a long lunch on the way to the psych place."

"I'll call." He repeated with his phone already out in his hand he repeated, "You drive."

•••

The next hour went off without a hitch.

The officers transporting Jim, agreed it sounded like a good day to take a long lunch.  
That was going to be story at least; they'd stopped off for some food and while they were inside Jim got away.

Armed with the information Bullock had gotten from one of the Tweed brothers, they had a pretty good idea about where to find Jervis and Alice Tetch.

But they were on borrowed time. Knowing it was only a matter of time before Barnes figured it out for himself and would show up with the rest of the police force as cavalry.

With Bullock now behind the wheel, Jim was in the passenger seat and Bird was sitting in the center of the backseat.

The drive to the building had been mostly silent -aside from trying to figure out the best plan of attack.

Bullock shut the headlights off as they neared the warehouse they were looking for. The car slowed until they were just barely creeping down the side street.

"We got movement." Jim announced as he saw a shadow move in front of the window on the second level. Blocking the lighting from inside out for a few seconds.

Nodding Bullock shut the car engine off and let out a heavy breath, "I'll take that side." He motioned towards the right, "You take the other and we'll meet in the back."

"Yeah." Bird cleared her throat, "We'll catch up in a minute."

Bullock glanced over his shoulder at Bird and then over to Jim for a moment before he got out of the car and left them alone.

"We need to talk." Bird said once they were alone.

"No good conversation starts that way." Jim answered as he turned sideways in the passenger seat so he could see her better.

"I know." She couldn't help but smile, "But still."

Pulling in a deep breath she began, "I know you think Tetch is the only one who can fix what he did to your head-"

"You don't think so?" Jim interrupted.

"I think there's another way." Bird said, "I think it's you."

His eyebrows lowered in confusion.

If only it were so easy than he'd have never been hypnotized in the first place or it would have been broken right after that night on the roof.

"Look…" Bird breathed upon seeing the expression that had taken over his face, "Lee told me that Tetch preys on anger and regret and I think the only real way for you to stop what he's done to you is to let go of it."

Her voice lowered some, "Trust me. I know the amount of harm living with all of that inside of you can do."

"It's not that simple, Bird."

"I know." She agreed, "But it's not impossible either."

Jim stared at her.

It was impossible or at least it felt impossible -for someone like him, at least.

On several occasions Bird had reminded him of the differences in who they were.  
She'd flat out admitted that she had to work at caring about other people.

Back when they'd first met, Jim wasn't even sure Bird was capable of feeling remorse for the things she'd done and the pain she'd caused in other peoples lives.

Of course he knew better than that now; now he knew her, the real her.

But still; she was telling him to let go of things he couldn't and while it may not be impossible for her, he wasn't so sure it was something within reach for himself,

"Okay." He nodded. Voice empty. Eyes avoiding hers.

"We should catch up with Bullock." Jim added, opening the car door and stepping out into the evening air.  
As much as he was hoping the night would end with the suicidal impulse gone and Alice safe; he didn't know for sure things would turn out right and he didn't want to fight with Bird.

"Wait!" She called out, scrambling to the passenger side of the car to to get out of the backseat and stop him.

"Even if we get Jervis Tetch to undo the damage, it's not going to fix everything." Bird's voice raised as she now stood beside the car.

Jim quickly stepped closer. Reminding her to keep her voice down. They had no idea who or what would be waiting for them inside of the building and the last thing they needed was for Bird to give away their location.

The element of surprise might be the only thing working on their side. If they lost that; they could lose everything.

"Well!" She tossed her arms out to the sides, "You think if we get him to undo the hypnosis that you're going to be happy again? No. Even with the suicidal impulse gone… you'd still be full of anger and regret and guilt and all those things that open up a black hole inside of you. You are the only one who can set yourself free, Jim."

He watched her as she crossed an arm over her chest and rubbed the back of her own shoulder.  
The shoulder where he'd seen the tattoo she'd gotten in her time away from Gotham.

Freedom.  
He thought to himself.  
While she'd slept he'd laid awake mesmerized by the dark ink on her skin. Wondering what it meant to her and now he had his answer.

"Your tattoo." He nodded with his head towards her shoulder.

"Yeah." She managed a smile, "Have you ever seen anything more free than a bird in flight?"

"I hear you. Okay?" Jim moved in even closer, "And you're probably right, but I don't know how. I don't even know where to begin." He swallowed hard. Choking down emotion and fear.

"By facing it head on." Bird answered, "All of the stuff that you don't want to. The things that are eating you alive. You have to let go."

He knew what she meant. He needed to face the things he'd done and that had been done to him.  
The pain. The uncomfortable things they didn't talk about.

The life he'd envisioned for himself was gone.  
He was going to be a a father and then he wasn't. He'd lost a child. Pushed Lee away and hurt her in ways he knew he could never fix.

The career that he'd given his all too and nearly lost his life for crumbled and shattered.  
Nearly everyone he thought he could count on had turned against him. Believed he'd committed the crimes he'd framed for.

Everything had slipped through his hands. Right through his fingers like a handful of sand.

And when he felt like he'd lost everything and everyone, he'd looked up and Bird was there.

She'd risked her own and life and freedom to save him from Blackgate. Stayed by him in the times he'd found it hard living in his own skin.  
But then she was gone too.

Any last traces of hope or happiness vanished with her in the middle of the night.

In her absence he'd hit rock bottom.

It felt like the world would stop spinning; but it didn't.

That's the thing about life -it just keeps going on, no matter how hard you fall.  
The world keeps moving around you even when you're stuck in place.

"You have to let go of what you thought life was going to be." Bird cleared her throat, "How do you expect to keep going if you don't?"

Startled, his eyes met hers. It was almost as if she could read his mind.

Bird's own mind drifted back to one of the last times she'd seen her mom before her parents' were killed.  
A lunch together that Bird had begrudgingly agreed to and then rushed to get through. She remembered what her mom had told her and how strangely fitting those words were now.  
So relevant to the situation she currently found herself in.

"You aren't the worst act you've committed…" She breathed under her breath, before her eyes fluttered back up to meet his.

Reaching up, Bird held onto his face. Her fingers lay cold against his cheeks.

"You aren't the worst thing you've ever done, Jim. Or the worst thing that's happened to you." Her eyes were locked with his. It was almost uncomfortable and unnerving the way she looked at him sometimes.

He wasn't used to feeling that vulnerable.  
But it was like she could see right into him. All of him.  
A nakedness that went far beyond the flesh.

"You're not." She repeated, "But you are the total sum of every decision you've made. Both good and bad. The right choices and the wrong ones made you into who you are in this moment."

"I didn't get you out out of that suicide watch because I believe Tetch can or will fix what he's done." Bird admitted, "I did it because you asked me to trust you and I do. I did it because I believe in you and because I love you…"

The end of her sentence was spoken in muffled words against Jim's mouth as she leaned in. Pressing her lips to his and forcing herself to believe that it wouldn't be last time.

•••

* * *

 **A/N - Thank you all for reading. I know this update took a while, but hopefully you'll think it was worth the wait?  
**

 **I want to thank everyone who has added this story to your favorites and/or subscribed for update alerts!**

 **And an extra special thank you to: xenocanaan, AGBreads, Shadow knight1121, SmellYourScentForMiles, Katniss789, Love. Fiction. 2018, Munyue, ThatMysteriousSlime, Havana, DancingDorisDay, Littledot, xxXWolfsLullabyXxx and to the Guest who reviewed the last chapter.**

 **Turns out trying to balance my new job and staying up with writing and updating is tougher than I'd anticipated. So please know how much the interest in the story and feedback you're giving me is keeping me inspired and focused on still writing and posting!**


	7. Venomous

**VII - Venomous**

" _Loving a wild thing is like having a lion for a pet. You know it's a creature of violence whose very nature and talent is murder, and yet it lies down at your side and purrs for your touch alone." - disillusionedhumanity, tumblr_

* * *

•••

••• **flashback •••**

Martha Wayne sat in the early afternoon sun at a small table outside on the roof of one of her favorite restaurants. In the summer they always set up a dining area right under the sky and she'd called ahead to the popular eatery to make sure they kept a table open for her and her daughter.

It was the first time she'd be seeing her in close to a month. The last time they'd been together had ended in a miserable yet typical fashion; a fight.

Every single time Bird had met up with her parents after moving out on her own they always ended up in a fight. Usually erupting between Bird and her dad, who try as he might to keep the peace, proved over and over again unable to hold his tongue and not judge her for the criminal life she chose to lead.

She'd picked today for the lunch, knowing that Thomas would be going into the office and she could meet with their daughter alone.

Martha leaned back in her seat some, eyes closed and face tilted up towards the sun beaming down in the near cloudless sky from above.

It was a beautiful day. A rarity in Gotham. Even the bright days still seemed to produce clouds and shadows.

When she opened her eyes again she saw Bird had arrived and was making her way towards the table.

Dressed in her usual style of jeans, scuffed leather boots that went to her knees, a plain dark color top and a black leather jacket.

Her long, brunette hair hung messily in waves that left Martha questioning whether she'd bothered to brush her hair that morning.

Large dark shades covered her eyes and left her mother unsure about the mood she'd be in today.

"Hi, honey." Martha greeted with a wide smile as she stood to greet her.

"Hey mom." Bird said as she slid into her seat and left her mom wavering next to the table awkwardly, before Martha took her own seat again and realized a hug was wishful thinking on her part.

"How are you?" Martha questioned as her smile grew tight lipped over her teeth.  
She was determined to have a pleasant lunch and conversation.

"Good." Bird automatically answered as she pushed her sunglasses up on her head.

Her mom's smile faded some as she finally got a look at her daughter's face.

Bird's skin was unnaturally pale. One might even call it pasty. She looked like she hadn't seen the sun in weeks.  
Then again working nights a club, she probably hadn't.

There was a cut above her left eyebrow and a faded bruise on her cheek and beside her eye.

"Thank you for finding the time to meet me." Her mom politely said, "I know you're busy."

Bird cocked an eyebrow at her.

This would usually be the time in a conversation where the other person would say something to effect of; 'I'm so happy we could find the time to meet up' or talk about how much they missed the other back.  
But not Bird.

Instead, she let out a low hum and reached for the glass of ice water that was on the table waiting for her.

"What happened there?" Martha asked, motioning to her eye.

"Work." Bird answered with a shrug.

Her usual response whenever she was asked about the injuries she always seemed to have.  
It was nearly always the truth as well, but she never went into detail.

"I know." She nodded, "But really; what happened?"

Bird stopped in the process of taking another drink. The ice clinking into the glass cup as she moved the glass from her lips and asked, "You really want to know?"

Martha nodded and felt like crossing her fingers out of sight in hope that it was a story she really did want to hear and not something she'd want to forget as soon as she heard it.

"Oh, okay." Bird readjusted in her seat and sat her glass down on the table, so close to the edge that Martha had to restrain herself from reaching out to move it before it would sure get knocked over, "We had a guy who got a little too drunk and too handsy with one of the dancers on Wednesday-"

"Oh!" Martha exclaimed, "So you jumped in? Defended this dancer? Protected her?"

"I guess…" Bird breathed, shooting her mom a look, "Then he tried to grab me and that wasn't happening, so he took a swing at me-" She pointed to the healing bruise, "And then…"

"And then?" Martha pushed.

Eyeing her mom suspiciously, Bird admitted, "Then I slammed his face against the bar so hard he spit out some teeth."

"Oh." Martha couldn't think of anything else to say.  
The word came out with a puff of breath like the air had been forced out of her.

That's where Bird saw the interest turn into disgust.

Her mom had seemed so hopeful for a minute that Bird had done a good deed. Protected another woman from something and done some heroic act.  
But then she'd taken it too far and any hope her mom had -had about the situation gave way to seeing how far gone Bird really was.

With a sigh, Bird stood up, thinking the lunch was over before it had really begun.

"Wait!" Martha cried, "Where are you going?"

"Home or something." Bird shrugged.

Standing up she reached across the table and caught her daughter's hand in her own, "Please don't run off. Stay. Sit. Eat with me."

"Please." Martha repeated.

"Okay…" Bird agreed. Her eyes falling to where her mom was still holding onto her hand, "I'll stay for lunch."

Martha let out a relieved sigh, nodding and straightening out her dress before taking her seat again.

Bird shrugged out of her jacket and turned around to hang it over the back of her chair.  
Her mom looked up and saw the outline of the closed switch blade knife in Bird's back pocket.

Swallowing hard she looked away but couldn't help wondering how much blood Bird had on her hands.  
Was it just from injuring people or had her daughter really taken a life before? Maybe even more than one?

A part of her wanted to know and a part of her would rather be left wondering than have an answer she couldn't ever bleach from knowledge.

The waiter came and took their orders. Small talk was made over the salads and artisan bread served before the entrees.

Chit-chat about Wayne Enterprises and the upcoming Arkham Project they had in talks.  
Bird learned that Bruce was on the honor roll -again. Not that she could ever remember a time when he wasn't at the top of his class.

It was a start, Martha thought to herself. One small meal that didn't end in an argument. Attempts on both sides to keep the conversation neutral and somewhat pleasant.

"Honey." Martha said once they were outside of the restaurant and on the sidewalk out front, reaching out she placed her hands on her daughter's arms and faced her, "You know you can always come home, right?"

"I have my own home now." Bird pointed out. Feeling a ball of anger starting to swell in her.

Sure, her apartment was small and not in the best side of town, but it was big enough for her. She paid her own bills and could breathe there.  
Something that had gotten harder to due under rule at Wayne Manor.

"I mean, home." Martha repeated, "Your real home-"

"You mean Wayne Manor." Bird corrected her, "Back to shooing Alfred away from cleaning and moving things around in my room. Back to needing a five page long explanation every time I leave? I don't think so, Mom. I'm an adult. I have my own life-"

"I know. I know how grown you are and that you've got a job and you're managing on your own, but I just want what's best for you. I want you to be safe and happy." Emotion blurred her vision and she blinked to clear her line of sight, "Wouldn't it be great to be all together again? Be a family once more. Oh, Starling… this world is so uncertain and you never know what's around the next corner. I just want a chance for us to start again and fix what's become so strained between us."

"Yeah?" Bird asked, "And what about what I want? If you really wanted me to be happy then you'd realize I'm happier on my own than I was living under your roof and under your rules."

Bird regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth when she saw the heart-broken look in her mom's eyes.  
Even if what she was saying was the truth, she should have worded it differently.

Heartless.  
It wasn't so long ago her dad had hurled that term at her in the middle of a fight; now she considered maybe he was right.

"Mom. I love you." Bird cleared her throat and reached to the sides to pull her mother's hands from her arms, "But I'm not moving back home. Ever."

"Besides…" She breathed as she let go of her hands and crossed her arms over her chest, "With everything I've done, why would you even want me there?"

"Because I love you." Martha answered, "And there is nothing in the word that could ever change that."

"I wouldn't be so sure." Bird challenged, "You don't know everything I've done."

Martha looked down to the concrete sidewalk.  
She couldn't say that it didn't matter what Bird had done. Of course it mattered.  
But she loved her unconditionally and she knew nothing would change that.

Bird certainly didn't make it easy on her though.  
Always hinting at something more. Teetering on the edge of secrets she swore her parents wouldn't forgive her for.

Challenging them to love her in-spite of it all. Always pushing and pushing them to see how much they'd really put up with for her.

It was exhausting for both her mom and her dad.

"You are not the worst act you've committed." Martha looked her daughter in the eyes as she spoke, "And you're not the worst act ever committed against you. You're so much more. Even when you can't see it."

With a sad smile and tears in her eyes, she reached out and cupped one of Bird's cheeks in her hand, not breaking eye contact as she added, "But you are the total sum of all your decisions. Keep that in mind moving forward. Both the good and bad decisions are shaping your life and you need to listen to me. Know that it is never too late to start steering your life in a different direction."

"Mom?" Bird's arms fell from her defensive posture where they were crossed over her chest to dropping limply at her sides, "What's going on?"

Her stomach started to turn. A sense of dread creeping in from all sides.  
She remembered the time she'd come home from school and both her parents were waiting to greet her at the door. To sit her down and tell her that her pet fish were dead.

Apparently the glitter she'd poured into their water to make everything prettier and shinier had cost them their lives.

That's how she felt once more as she stood there facing her mother.  
Like a little kid getting ready to hear bad news.

"Mom?" Bird repeated.

"I just worry about you." Martha admitted, pulling in a small gasp of air, "Sometimes I feel like every time I let you walk away from me it might be the last time I get to see you."

Reaching up she swatted a tear away from her cheek.

The worried look on her face gave way to another one of annoyance with thinking her mom was now sinking to trying to guilt her to move back home.

"You don't have to worry about that." Bird promised her, "I can take care of myself."

Martha struggled to smile and nodded.

Bird had taken it to mean that her mom was worried about her getting mixed up in something bad and winding up dead from it; and while that was definitely a concern and real possibility, it wasn't what Martha meant.

Lately she'd been thinking often about her mortality and how fragile life itself is.

Wayne Enterprises was an onion of sorts; a rotten one.  
Every layer Thomas peeled back from the company that bore his family name was worse than the last.  
So much corruption and criminal activity running rampant.

There was so much danger out in the world.

Especially in a place like Gotham City.  
And as Martha watched Bird walk away once more, the same fear bubbled up inside of her like a toxic witches brew; that it would indeed be the last time she got to see her.

••• **end of flashback •••**

Bird looked over to where Jim was walking. Gun drawn at the ready in case they were surprised.

She didn't know if she'd made the right decision.

If he wasn't willing or able to let go of everything he was holding inside and being tormented by then he'd never fully move past this; regardless of if Tetch undid the hypnosis or not.

But life-long suicide watch wasn't an option either. That's no kind of life to live.

And while she'd made her decision based on both her trust and love for him, she'd also chose to help him escape because she knew if it were her; that she'd want the same.

A chance to face down Tetch. A chance to fix it on her own.

But as they spread out around various stacks of boxes and old carnival equipment, she couldn't shake the feeling that as he walked away it might the last time she saw him.

"There we go." Jervis smiled at his sister as he filled the last of five large syringes with her blood.  
He removed the tourniquet from her arm, "All done."

Alice's chest rose and fell heavily. Her vision a little blurry. "What are you going to use that for?"

"Oh, I imagine I'll mix it into some public drinking fountain." Jervis chuckled, looking back to the last two members of the Tweed family he had left with him, "Create a few dozen monsters."

Alice pinned her eyes shut and let out a heavy and sorrowful breath, "Please don't do that."  
Opening her eyes she got her brother's attention, "Jervis, please. I'll do whatever you want."

"You will now." His voice raised and he reached a hand out to graze her chin but she turned away in disgust, "Because you know other people will pay if you don't."

"I don't know what I'd ever do if I lost you. That connection. It keeps me sane… it always has." Jervis continued as he gently took hold of her chin and made her face him.

He smiled at her again and her stomach turned. Body tensed as stiff as a board.

Sane? She thought to herself. There wasn't a single ounce of sanity or decency left in her brother and now she was once again trapped with him.  
Left at his mercy -or lack there of.

The thought crossed her mind that she'd rather be dead than live the way she had so many years before; before she'd fled and escaped from him.

She thought Gotham would be her safe haven. A place to lay low and hide out.  
But Strange had found her, kidnapped her and held her as a lab rat

She'd tasted freedom for a few months after the Arkham breakout.  
It wasn't much. A drafty room of an excuse for an apartment under a shady landlord who'd let her know money wasn't the only way she could pay her rent.

A job at a bar where she didn't make enough to cover her rent and bills. One where she'd duck into the kitchen every chance she got to eat some nachos or left over chicken wings at the end of the night if she was lucky.

She'd lived every day in fear that her brother would track her down. That he'd find her and hold her captive once more.

The small taste of freedom she'd had wasn't much; but it was enough to know she'd rather die free than live as a prisoner again.

"Tetch!" Jim called out when he caught sight of the madman, "Jervis!"

Ducking down in front of where he had his sister tied to the chair.  
He laughed as he began to undo her bindings in a plan to escape.

The Tweeds, still under his mind control, cocked their shotguns as Jim, Bird and Bullock all came into view.

"Don't move!" Jim yelled at them.

Bird surveyed the room and then glanced down to her handgun, which wouldn't deliver a blast nearly as powerful as the shotguns pointed her direction.

"Mr. Gordon." Jervis called out from where he continued to stay crouched down and out of sight. Banking on the fact that they wouldn't harm Alice to get to him, "I can't say I'm entirely surprised." With a sigh he muttered, "So stubborn…"

"Let her go now." Jim ordered. Standing in place as Bird and Bullock moved further out to either side. Slowly and cautiously.

"You know I can't do that." Untying the last of her bindings, Jervis got to his feet and pulled Alice up with him, using her body as shield for his own, "But if you let me leave with my dear sister. My dear Alice. Then I'll free you from that nasty little impulse. Maybe you can live a long, happy…"

Jervis laughed and Alice gasped as his arm tightened around her, his mouth close to her ear as he continued to taunt Jim from where they now stood, "Well, a long life."

"Let her go and you live!" Jim tried to keep his voice steady and strong. But his hands were starting to shake. So much so that he moved his finger off the trigger of his gun so he wouldn't accidentally shoot, "That's the deal."

Jervis kept his eyes on them as he slowly started to back away towards the Tweeds. Planning on getting behind them and then disappear along with his sister with the sounds of gunfire at their backs.

Bullock took a step closer and Jervis tightened his hold around Alice yet again. So clearly believing himself to be safe behind his innocent human shield.  
After all, how could they even think about hurting his dear Alice?

"Stop!" Bird yelled hand steady as she kept her stance still and aim at Jervis' face, "One more step and I'll shoot."

"You won't." He couldn't help but laugh, "You don't have a clean shot."

He started to back up again, but Bird stopped him, "Ah-ah-ah." She shook her head.

"You're assuming that I won't go through her to get to you?" Bird's lips curved up into a Cheshire smile as she informed him, "You assume wrong."

"Bird." Jim's voice was gruff.

"You wouldn't." Jervis grinned.

"And here I was led to believe you knew what was inside of a person's mind." She took a brazen step forward. A challenge.

"Bird, stop." Jim yelled, glancing over at her.  
He wasn't sure if this was a tactic she was trying out to rattle Tetch or if there was some truth behind her words.

Jervis narrowed his eyes at her. Body tense as he kept a unrelenting tight grip on Alice and tried to determine if Bird was bluffing.

Finally deciding it wasn't the worth the risk to stick around and see, he nodded behind him to the Tweed brothers before Jervis turned his attention back to Jim and called out, "One question…"

While they had all been focused on him, one of the Tweeds had started a metronome they'd acquired just in case Jim found them.

The steady ticking started to affect Jim before Bullock or Bird even picked up on the noise.

"Do you hear that?" Jervis smirked.

 _Tick-tock._

 _Tick-tock._

 _Tick-tock._

As steady has the hands of time ticking by the seconds on the pocket watch Jervis had first hypnotized him with, Jim's consciousness started to fade from the present.

He couldn't hear Bird as she yelled out for him.  
Or Bullock yelling at them both to get down when the Tweeds started popping off shots in their direction nor the loud shotgun blasts themselves.

 _Tick-tock._

 _Tick-tock._

"We both know what you really want." Jervis' voice was the only thing he could hear aside from the ticking, "I saw it in your eyes the first time we met. You want to be free. Free from the pain. And you can be."

 _Tick-tock._

 _Tick-tock._

"Stop fighting and let go." Jervis continued.

 _Tick._

 _Tock._

 _Tick._

 _Tock._

"Jim!" Bird screamed out a carved and painted wood sign for an old amusement park she'd ducked behind for safety.

Helplessly she looked over to where Bullock was ducked down behind some stacked up boxes.

He had the same expression she did.  
Like they'd just made the worst mistake of their lives by letting Jim off suicide watch; and that was coming from two people who'd made more mistakes than they could keep track of.

 _Tick-tock._

 _Tick-tock._

The sound might not have affected them in the same way it held power over Jim's mind; but they were both aware of every single click the metronome made.

Felt every single second pass by far too slow and way too fast all at once.

But time was moving even slower for Jim.

Bullets were flying past him as Bird and Bullock returned fire on the Tweeds.  
He was aware of life moving around him at lightening fast speed.

But he, himself, was stuck in slow motion. Like he was frozen in time. His every movement weighed down.

His peripheral sight started to grow hazy, ever darkening as time went on until his heavy eyelids closed against his will.

He felt a drop of water land on his forehead.  
Then another one splashed on his cheek.

The coldness of the liquid was a relief to the heat of skin. Like he'd come down with a fever; a fire was spreading across his flesh.

His head tilted back, face upwards towards the sky until another raindrop landed on his eyelid.

Opening his eyes Jim stared up at the overcast sky. His conscious thoughts not moving fast enough for him to wonder how he got there.

"You're the new guy, huh? How you like Gotham so far?"

Jim followed the sound of the voice. Familiar. It was Butch.

"Well enough."

He heard the answer in his own voice, but he knew he hadn't said anything.

He still felt frozen in time with life moving on around him. Only it wasn't the present; it was the past. Memories. And he was standing there like a third party witness.

He could see Oswald with an umbrella in one hand and a blood stained bat in the other.

A broken and bloody man on the wet pavement of the alley outside of Fish's old club.

Then there was Bird. Dark jeans and leather jacket. Her long brunette waves damp and hanging out from the thin dark hood.

He remembered this day.  
He'd gone with Bullock to follow a lead in the Wayne murder case.

It was one of the first few times he'd ever crossed paths with Bird -and the moment he realized she was tied in with organized crime.

Back before he really knew her; before he learned just how deep the corruption in the city ran and tangled everyone up int it.

"See you around."  
He heard his own voice again and turned his head. He saw himself standing there that day.  
Watched himself start to leave the alley, knowing there was nothing he could do to help the man on the ground as long as he wouldn't speak out against those who were hurting him.

Jim stood motionless and watched the memory of himself turn back to the group gathered on the alley one last time; his eyes going to Bird as he bid her farewell, "Miss Wayne."

"Detective." She gave a nod, before turning back to her friends and co-workers.

Jim blinked and he was he was no longer outside; but still not in the present either.  
He was still very much stuck in his own head. A time travel of sorts. Flashes of memories.  
-Both good and bad.

The ones he never wanted to forget and the ones he never seemed to be able to drink enough to lose completely.

Some moments flashed like an silent picture show coming in bits and pieces. Others felt more tangible; so real he could feel touch and hear voices.

"Trust me." Bird's voice sounded above all the others in his head, "I know the amount of harm it does to live with all that guilt and anger inside of you. You have to let it go."

"I…" He stammered shaking his head, "I don't know how."

"Even with the suicidal impulse gone, you'd still be full of anger and regret and guilt and all of those things open up a black hole inside you. You are the only one who can set yourself free, Jim."

Her voice was still echoing in his head when he closed his eyes again. The same words she'd said to him just before they'd went in the building.

So recent it was the most alive of all the thoughts and life moments bouncing around in his head. He could still feel her touch on his skin. The taste of her mouth when she'd kissed him. The determined look in her eyes when she told him she believed in him; that she loved him.

Standing out in the cold evening air it had felt so finalized. Almost like an ending.

And maybe it was on some levels. Saying what needed to be said. A last ditch effort before they walked into the line of fire to bring him back to his senses.

Only now it didn't feel like an ending -more like a beginning.

Like turning to a new chapter in a novel.

Opening up a brand new notebook with crisp untouched pages.

The past was the past and there was nothing he could do change that; but for the first time in a long time that thought didn't send him reeling.

Instead he felt a bit of peace with that. A sliver. But it was more than nothing. It was enough.

Enough of an anchor to hold to.

With his eyes open again he stared down to the gun in his hand. Back in the present.

 _Tick._

 _Tock._

 _Tick._

 _Tock._

His wrist twitched uncontrollably; his own bones and muscles trying to turn the weapon on himself.

"No!" He screamed out.

 _Tick-tock. Tick-Tock. Tick-tock-_

The sound of a gunshot echoed through his skull. Painfully loud. He could feel the pressure on his eardrums.

The steady ticking stopped. His eyesight zeroed in on the metronome; it's polished wood stand splintered from the gunshot. The metal pendulum rod gone from the blast.

Silence.

Dead silence; for a few brief seconds.

A stunned look fell across his face with the realization that he'd been the one who fired the shot. He'd broken the trance; broken the hypnosis.

The spell might have been broken but Jim's mind was still struggling to get back up to speed.

There was an echo in the air as one of the Tweeds cocked a shotgun. Then Jim felt a hand on his arm -next thing he knew he was being pulled behind a stack of boxes just mere seconds before a shot gun blasted the air where he'd been standing.

His breath caught in his throat. Far too many close calls for one day.

He looked next to him where Bird was breathing erratically from darting out in the open to pull him to safety.

And there they were. Against all odds still standing.

"Hey-" Bird's voice was airy, her words coming out fast, "You with me?"

"Yeah." Jim nodded, his eyes meeting hers, "I'm with you."

His answer having more than one meaning when he spoke.

"Well, well, well. Mr. Gordon breaks my spell!" Jervis yelled out; laughing excitedly over the sounds of gunfire as the Tweeds and Bullock were still shooting.

"I dare say it's time we bid this foul city goodbye." Jervis said to his sister. His arm across her loosening some as he prepared to grab her and run.

"No!" Alice shrieked.

In a panic and with a strength she didn't know she possessed; she brought her arm back and elbowed him in the stomach. He stumbled back with a groan of pain.

"I'll never go with you!" She yelled, swinging her arms wildly as he tried to get a grip on her.

"Why do you say such things?" He demanded to know, "We belong together. You know that. I love you."

"You're insane-" She screamed in his face. Mustering all the strength she had left, Alice jerked her body away from him. Her arms out of his grip.

Propelling herself backward with such force the aged wood framing behind her gave way and the last sound she ever made was a high pitched scream as she went through the wood and fell.

Down.

Down.

Until her body landed on an tall piece of rebar from below. Standing upright from where the cement wall had crumbled years ago.

Her life ended as abruptly as her scream; her body impaled on the pipe in the middle of her free-fall.

The sound of bones breaking as it crush through her spine.  
The wet slosh of skin bursting open and blood running.

"NO! YOU KILLED HER!"  
Jervis screamed out in horror as he stared down to the body of his sister Alice; now just an empty shell of the one he'd loved so deeply.

By the time Bird, Jim and Bullock had made it out from their hiding spots -Jervis was gone. The Tweed brothers had pulled him from the building to safety.

Jim and Bullock ran in the direction they'd disappeared in, but Bird didn't follow them.

She walked to the edge where Alice had taken her final tumble and peered down on the corpse still suspended in the air on the rebar.  
Her body bent back at an unnatural angle.

Bird shook her head. Her brunette hair falling into her face as she continued to stare at the gory scene below.

It shouldn't have been Alice who died. It should have been her brother.

Her thoughts were broken by the sound of sirens in the distance; steadily growing closer as GCPD raced towards the scene.

Bird took a few steps back from the edge as she looked over in the direction Jim and Bullock had went; then after one last glance at Alice's body, she turned and headed in the other direction.

•••

Bird's pace slowed to a near stop as she closed in on the end of the entry hallway in her townhouse.

Someone was there.

She could feel it.

Nothing looked out of place; nothing askew -but it was in the air.

The thought briefly crossed her mind that maybe it was Oswald.  
After all the election was now just a few short days away and even though they were buying the election board to guarantee his win, her friend's nerves still had to be frazzled.

With those thoughts on her mind, she picked up her pace again.

But when she entered the main sitting room she saw it wasn't her best friend waiting on her.

Suddenly she felt foolish for thinking Oswald would be there in the first place.

She'd always been the person he'd ran to in times of distress. The only one aside from his mother who'd ever been able to soothe his soul.

But now he had Edward Nygma; seemingly at his beck-and-call.

Shaking the thoughts from her head, Bird looked at the old man sitting in one of the plush high-back chairs in the room and pulled in a deep breath before greeting, "Don Falcone."

"Evening, my dear." Falcone offered up a smile as he folded the paper he'd been reading and laid it down on the coffee table in front of him.

The room fell into silence.

The tip of Bird's tongue burnt from just behind her teeth with questions of why he was there.  
How long he'd been back in the city and what he wanted from her.

"Are you alright?" He questioned. Readjusting in his seat but making no attempt to stand up. "I only ask because you look like you've been through quite the ordeal."

"It's been a long day." Bird excused. Keeping cool as she moved to the couch and sat down.  
Pulling in a deep breath and straining a smile she added, "And I wasn't expecting company."

"We're family." He reminded her as he looked his biological daughter over again and wondered who she'd been fighting this time, "I didn't think a call-ahead was needed."

With her strained smile pulling her lips even tighter across her teeth, Bird pointed out, "We're not exactly on the best of terms."

"No?" Falcone cocked his head to the side.

"I welcomed you with open arms when you showed up in Miami." He wasted no time in reminding her, "I've been there every single time you needed me. Even when the only times you've reached out have been when you needed something."

"You lied to me." Bird shook her head.

She waited for a tell. A flinch. See if he seemed startled by the accusation. If he'd offer an apology or maybe even the truth.

But he conceded nothing.  
Instead he sat in silence. Waiting for her to show her hand.

"You told me you didn't know who killed my parents." Bird laid her cards on the table. Not having the energy to play coy, "When I came to you months ago asking about the organization pulling the strings in Gotham you shut that conversation down so fast-"

"You have no idea what you're talking about-"

"No!" She silenced his interruption, "I was face-to-face with Kathryn. They killed my parents. They framed a low level thug for it. And you looked me in the eyes and said you didn't know who killed them. That framing Pepper was to put the city at ease when it was really covering your own tracks."

"I'm not a part of them." He tried to defend.

"Liar." Fire burned in her eyes, "Indian Hill? I remember the trade you made with Maroni for that toxic waste dump. Don't forget that I was there for that.:

"You mean back when you were plotting with Penguin to bring me down? To kill me?" He reminded her. Throwing the facts right back in her face.

"I saved your life at the end of all that!" She scrambled to her feet.  
Fists clenched tightly at her sides.

Rising to his feet slower and much calmer than she'd done, Falcone asserted, "As I have saved yours. More than you know."

"You've been working with Kathryn this entire time. Part of that secret organization that killed my parents. That tried to kill me and Bruce."

"I am not a member of the Court of Owls!" His voice raised for the first time in the entire conversation, "I had an agreement with them. I operated separately and of my own authority. You have no idea what you're talking about, Bird."

"You framed Pepper." Bird reminded him.

"I did." He nodded, "And I did that at the request of the court. But only after Thomas and Martha were dead. I didn't know a hit had been put out on them until they were already gone."

"Liar." Bird accused again.  
Her tone lowered but still venom laced.

"Aren't we all?" He reasoned before walking around the coffee table and closer to her, "But I'm telling you the truth about this."

"And I'm just supposed to take your word for it?" Bird scoffed.

"I think I've done enough to earn your trust." He sternly said. Speaking to her as if she were a child and he had any sort of paternal sway over her, "And that loyalty that you so willingly give away to others. We are family. You're my daughter. Blood is thicker than water, after all."

Funny, Bird thought to herself, that the very man who severely punished her in the past for being too emotional would now be trying to play on those emotions.

His tone grew even more serious when he added, "The court is not something to be toyed around with. You are meddling in things that you cannot begin to comprehend the dangers of."

Bird's eyebrows lowered.  
To see Carmine Falcone appearing worried or even scared was a sight not many could say they'd witnessed.

Maybe he was telling the truth, she considered. That he wasn't a part of this cabal.  
A clandestine organization that she now knew the name of; The Court of Owls.

"Stay away from The Court." He warned. Not as a threat from him; but as a warning from someone who knew how deep their reach was and just how fatal their cuts could be.

Bird's eyes dropped to the floor. She'd heard that warning time and time again now.  
They'd threatened everyone's lives around her.

"I am steering clear of them." Bird cleared her throat and looked back up to his face, "Bruce and I reached an agreement with them."

Falcone stared her down. Giving a slow nod before pointing out, "I didn't say you should trust them either. Just stay in your own lane and off their radar."

"How long are you planning on staying in the city?" Bird questioned as a pointed change of subject.

"I'm not sure." He eyed her again, "Until after Mario's wedding, at least."

"Of course." Bird did her best to feign a believable smile.

It didn't seem to matter how far she'd come in her own life -or the revelation of them being related; it still only took minutes within his presence for her to feel like she was still fighting to find her place with him. To gain his admiration and respect.

Not as a father -but as a Don.

"The wedding date is getting closer." He reminded her.

"Yeah…" She blew out a breath, "I saw the church it's being held in. It's going to be quite the event."

The church was one of the oldest and grandest in all of Gotham. It was beautiful -but it all felt old fashioned to her.

She knew Falcone had insisted on footing the cost for the ceremony. And when he insisted on something there was no arguing with it.

If she had to guess, she'd bet he picked the location for the wedding and neither Lee or Mario had much of a say in it.

"Mario might not use my name, but it is a Falcone wedding after all." He nodded, "No expense will be spared. It's going to be a impressive event. As will yours when the time comes."

"What?" Bird nearly choked on the word.  
Dark brown eyes wide as she stared back at him.

Regaining her composure she brushed the comment off, "I don't hear wedding bells in the near future. Besides, I went through the stress of planning a big wedding before… _If_ I ever did get married, I'd probably just elope."

"No you will not." Falcone asserted.  
As if she'd really have no say in the matter when that time came.

"Well…" Bird scoffed, "I don't recall you taking this much of an interest when I was actually engaged."

"To Dent?" He smiled.  
Not a genuine smile nor a malicious one.

More like the kind of smile you give a kid when they tell you they're going to grow up to be an astronaut and you know there isn't a chance in hell of that dream coming true.

"That was never going to last." Falcone added as he gently laid an aged hand on her cheek and continued, "He put his hands on you. You're not the sort of person who'd keep putting up with that."

Bird's face twisted. Struck by a few thoughts all at once.

For one; she still so clearly remembered the time Falcone himself had backhanded her so hard across the face that the force nearly knocked her down. She remembered immediately spitting out blood.

Two; she had no idea he'd known how bad things had gotten between them.

It took a little longer for the third realization to strike her.

For so long she'd been convinced that Falcone had -had Harvey beaten so badly to keep her in-line. The same way he'd done with many of Fish's lovers to teach her a lesson.

But now she knew.  
Now she understood that while that was surely part of the reason. He'd had Harvey roughed up that badly because of him putting his hands on her.

He'd always known more than he'd let on.

"We should catch up." Falcone let his hand slide from her face and turned to pick his coat up from where it had been draped over the back of the chair, "Over lunch? Or better yet dinner."

Bird gave a small nod. Unable to move or do anything else for the moment. She stood in place. Silent with no response as Falcone walked past her on his way and out and called over his shoulder, "Dinner with you and Gordon."

When the sound of his heavy, sure-footed steps faded and she'd heard the front door close behind him. Bird pulled in a breath and slumped back down into her seat on the couch.

He'd never let her forget that he still had eyes all of the city.  
That even though he said she was free to make her own decisions; those decisions would still have consequences.

That as much as she tried to claim independence for herself and to live her own life; she still owed the Don for debts she'd racked up.

She'd made the decision to go public about their familial connection and since that moment he hadn't let her forget that even though she bore the Wayne name. She was still a Falcone and that association demanded a certain way of conducting herself.

And how oh so quickly the feeling of her life not being her own came flooding back.

•••

"Hey." Bird's voice came out a little hoarse as she looked up when she heard someone enter the room with her and saw it was Jim.

Clearing her throat, she diverted her eyes away from him and wondered how long she'd been sitting there.

Looking back up to where the TV was mounted on the wall, she tried but failed to register if it was the same show she'd been watching.

For all she knew it had been hours.

"Hey." Jim greeted back, "You okay?"  
He lingered at the entrance of the room. Something felt off.

Bird looked startled despite the fact he'd called out for her as soon as he'd come in the door.

"Yeah." She blew out a breath and offered him a smile, "Besides, I should be the one asking you that."

"Well…" Jim walked closer before sitting down beside her on the oversized couch, "I thought I was doing better; but then you disappeared on me -again."

The comment elicited a small yet distant sounding laugh as she admitted, "I fled when I heard the sirens. Old habits die hard after all." She rolled her neck and glanced over at him, "Besides, I figured you knew where to find me."

"Hmm." He hummed with a nod. Looking down to the keys still in his hand he tossed them onto the coffee table and said, "Yeah. The key to your house showed back up on my key ring. Know anything about that?"

"Maybe." Bird smiled. This time the expression was more genuine. She felt more present to him than she did moments before.

"Sometimes I forget how quiet you are." Jim admitted.  
The sentence having more than one meaning.

She was quiet. Able to move around undetected with a maddening slight of land. He'd lost count of the number of times she'd lifted his keys or something off of him without him having a clue.

He always considered himself more of a suffer in silence type -but still felt like he had nothing on Bird in that department.

She often had wars waging on inside of her while appearing calm on the outside.

Neither of them cared very much for talking about their feelings. By nature neither of them liked to show any sort of weakness.

But Jim had since realized that was part of how things went so wrong and fell apart.  
Both of them fighting their own internal wars alone; worlds apart but under the same roof.

Something wasn't right with her and he knew it.

"Bird-" He began, but she'd spoke at the same time, "How'd you do it?"

They both fell silent. Waiting for the other to speak first.

"Break the hypnosis." Bird decided to go on, "How'd you do it. One minute you were just standing there in a trance and then you were back."

"I followed your advice." Jim admitted. Openness and honesty are two way streets after all, "You were right. I had to face it head on. All the things I didn't want to."

"Like what?" Bird pushed and he got the feeling she was purposelessly trying to keep the attention on him and off of her.

Deflecting.

"Like…" He pulled in a deep breath, "The things we didn't talk about because it was too uncomfortable. The messes I made and how I left things with Lee and the baby and…" He sighed, "All the things I kept trying to drown in booze instead of facing the things I've done."

"I get it." Bird empathized, "I spent too long trying to drown my own ugliness in whatever I could my hands on."

Looking back at him, their eyes locked and she added, "But you're not alone. You know that, right?"

"I know." Jim nodded. His hand finding hers as he echoed, "Neither are you."

Bird's eyes dropped to their intertwined fingers and she nodded, "I know."

"Good." Jim said. His hand sliding out of hers long enough to inspect her palm where he could see the deep, bruise darkened imprints of her own nails from where she'd sat with her fists clenched for a long time.

He reached for her other hand and she didn't fight; let him uncurl her aching fingers and reveal a matching set of indents from her nails on that hand as well.

"Then tell me whats wrong."

Bird looked at him again. Her eyes moving over his face as he wore the concerned expression he always got around her when something was off.

His head slightly tilted to the side. The pleading look in his blue eyes. Eyebrows angled up in the center with his mouth slightly open, but jaw tense as he struggled between waiting in patience and pushing her.

That face, she thought as she shook her head, how could anyone lie to that face?

There was much wrong at the moment. She feared she was losing her friendship with Oswald and she wasn't sure who she was without that connection and bond they'd always had.

She now knew the name of the of the cabal running Gotham City.  
They called themselves the Court of Owls and they were bad enough news that Falcone looked scared.

Bird wasn't sure if she should share the newly leaned intel with her brother; she wasn't even sure she should continue looking into them. All she really knew was that anyone else who learned of their existence would be in grave danger and it was just days before that she'd found Jim on the ledge; literally.

She was suddenly struck by the answer to her own question as she continued to stare at Jim.  
What kind of person could lie to that face?

The answer was someone as bad as her.

"Falcone made an impromptu visit." Bird began. A lie with a heart of truth always sold the best.

"It's stupid." She continued, "But just spending ten minutes around that man makes me feel like I'm fighting and clawing my way to the top trying to win the Don's respect. I guess it just makes it hard in those moments to remember how far in the rearview those days are."

Jim squeezed her hand. Complicated didn't begin to cover the strained relationship Bird had with Falcone and he knew it.

He'd seen it first hand.  
The way she'd fold into herself in his presence.

Standing her ground but teetering on a knife's edge all at once. A power struggle he couldn't begin to understand.

"And…" Bird added, leaning in closer as she spoke, "He wants to take us to dinner soon."

"Oh…" Jim's expression twisted, "That'll be… fun."  
Now it was his turn to strain through a smile and Bird chuckled to herself.

She thought about cracking a joke about how she was pretty sure Falcone was already planning their wedding; but she stopped herself. Not even going to go there as a joke.

"He talks like the plan is to head south after Mario's wedding. So fingers crossed, right?" Bird smiled widely.

Holding up his free hand, Jim showed her he'd crossed his fingers for luck as she'd suggested.  
Then with a small laugh he pulled her face to his; his mouth claiming hers.

Bird smiled against his lips and tilted her head back just enough to say, "I'm just glad you're home."

Remembering the night he'd said the very same thing to her, his mouth curved up at the corners. His forehead rested against hers when he questioned, "You talking about the house… or you?"

"Both." Bird ended, the exact same way he'd said to her so many months before when they'd been standing in the kitchen and having the same conversation; only with the lines reversed.

She leaned in again, pressing her lips back to his before she pulled back and slid down some against the cushions as she leaned against his side. His arm found it's way around her, holding her snugly against him while she rested her head on the front of his shoulder.

They'd had far too many close calls in the last week and while things were far from perfect; for the moment life had regained some stability; a calm.

Jervis was still on the run, but Barnes had all of GCPD scouring to the city and turning over every rock to find him. But with his sister dead, they weren't sure he'd even have a reason to hang around the city.

He still wasn't entirely sure what he was going to do; still not feeling ready to go back to the police department yet.

But that didn't matter; not for the moment at least.

Sitting there, snuggled in together and watching a rerun of some show on TV felt like the most mundane thing ever. Especially after the day they'd had; but he couldn't think of anywhere else he'd rather be.

Leaning down, he pressed a kiss to the top of her hair.  
He could smell the warehouse they'd been in on her. The dust and mildew.

Just another reminder of how close he'd come to losing his life yet again. How much she'd risked for him. Believed in him and stood by him.

As he stared down to the top of her hair; the dark brunette waves that still carried the faintest scent of her shampoo even with the musty smell from the warehouse, he was hit with the feeling that he'd never fully know what was going on inside of that head of hers.

She was somehow the most selfishly selfish person he'd ever encountered.

Capable of loving with an intensity he'd never witnessed before her.  
With a streak of violence running through her that was unsettling to say the least.

Fiercely loyal and protective -while compartmentalizing the value of one life over another.

Impossibly strong while living on the verge of breaking.

He felt like he could spend a hundred years with her, at her side every single day of that time and yet still not fully know her.

Bird's mind was a puzzle to him; but one he'd never tire of trying to figure out.

"Earlier tonight, you said said something." Jim's voice was quiet, "You said you'd kill Alice to get to her brother if you had to."

"Mhmm…" Bird hummed, her warm breath going through the fabric of his shirt when she pressed herself closer to him, her arm snaking across his stomach.  
Further entangling her body with his.

Like she were at the ready to wrap her body around his in such a way he'd never shake loose -not that he'd want to.

"Would you really have done that? Killed her just to bring Tetch down?" He questioned.

"What do you think?" Bird's voice was soft.  
He couldn't see her face, but he imagined her eyes were closed.

"I don't know." Jim admitted.

With his other hand he grabbed onto hers again, turning her hand palm up to see the indents from her own nails were still deep in her flesh. Running his thumb over the imperfections he continued, "I don't know if you meant it or you were just trying to throw Tetch off his game."

Anyone else would have offended at that question, he thought. Either at the question itself or the insinuation that they would ever do something so heinous.

-But not Bird.

She didn't even flinch.

"I was trying to throw him off." Bird admitted, "I liked Alice and I wouldn't have taken her out just to get to her lunatic brother."

There was a brief pause as she opened her eyes and glanced to where he was still running his thumb across her exposed palm. Her breath hitched in her throat with the feeling of his flesh running along hers.

And then as if there was no filter between her brain and mouth; she said exactly what she was thinking in that moment, "But if you're asking would I kill an innocent person to protect you…then the answer is yes."

Readjusting her hand, she laid it flush against his, intertwining their fingers and holding on almost painfully tight as she admitted, "I'd do a lot of terrible things to keep you safe."

Jim looked to their connected hands, a hint of a grimace on his face as she continued to hold onto him so tight -Bird silently making it clear she had no intention of letting him go.

Not that she needed to, he thought as he let out the breathe he wasn't aware he'd been holding. She had him. In every way one person could have another.

He remembered when he was just a kid, his parents had taken him to this exotic animal expo that came through town and at some point one of the workers had presented a venomous snake in their bare hands.

Jim remembered thinking, even as a child, how reckless that was.  
To hold something incredibly dangerous that close to you.

And yet, so many years later here he sat holding something -someone just as dangerous close to him and not making any effort to pull away.

Maybe, he thought, even with Bird being the walking conundrum that she was -maybe he did know her. Understand her motives and intentions better than he'd led himself to believe.

The real problem didn't lie in his trying to figure Bird out, but more so in accepting the darkness in himself. His own poison.

•••

* * *

 **A/N -I'd like to thank: AGBreads, xenocanaan, Shadow knight1121, Katniss789, xxXWolfsLullabyXxx, Littledot, SmellYourScentForMiles, Love. Fiction. 2018, ThatMysteriousSlime, Munyue, Davina C Foxx and the Guests who reviewed chapter 6.  
**

 **I really hope you all liked this newest update. I'm still excited to be writing in season 3 now and I can't wait to share the rest of Bird's story with you all!**

 **It would mean so much if you'd take the time to leave a review and let me know what you all thought of the chapter. ^_^**


	8. Deception

**VIII - Deception**

" _Problems always start long before you really, really see them."- Gillian Flynn, Sharp Objects_

* * *

•••

"Chief of staff!" Bird angrily repeated, shaking her head back and forth, "Can you believe that? He's known Nygma for all of like ten seconds and he's going to choose him as his Chief of Staff?"

Jim looked up from the scattered papers he'd spread out on the bed as he hunted for any sign of Jervis Tetch. Any crimes where the perpetrator had been hypnotized. Any mentions of the name Alice.

Anything at all that could give him a lead on Tetch's location.

He mildly felt like he was grasping at straws. Searching for traces of faded smoke in the air.

Barnes and Bullock both had told him Tetch was probably about as far away from Gotham as he could get; but Jim felt differently. He knew he'd eventually try and extract revenge for the loss of his sister.

Bird agreed with him, stating an obsession like that -like the one he had with his sister doesn't die even when the object of the fixation does.

"Did you hear me?"

Jim's eyes darted over to where Bird had now poked her head out of the large walk-in closet and was starting at him.

"I didn't know you wanted to be the mayor's chief of staff." Jim contributed to the near one-sided conversation that had been going on since what felt like the night before.

Bird's nose wrinkled at him and just as quickly as she'd appeared she vanished back into the closet and he started to look back down to the article he'd been reading about a string of missing young women near a college campus; that was until Bird yelled out from the closet, "I don't want to be!"

"I'm already juggling too much." She continued to complain as she walked out of the closet wearing a shiny dark gray blouse she was buttoning up as she spoke, "But just the nerve of him, you know?"

"Nygma?" Jim tried to follow.

"Oswald!" She loudly corrected with a dramatic toss of her arms out to the sides.

"I…" Jim sighed as he watched her continue to button up her shirt, "I don't know what you want me to say."

"I want you to say what you're thinking." Bird stared at him.

"I think Oswald Cobblepot has no business being mayor in the first place-" Jim freely admitted, but pulled in a breath to stop from saying anything else about that.

With raised brows he added, "And I think you should fix your shirt before you leave the house."

Bird looked down to see she'd missed a button on her blouse and she no doubt looked like a mess.

"Gah!" She exclaimed as she dropped her head back and screamed out in frustration at the ceiling.

"Hey. Take a breath." Jim said as he stood from where he'd been sitting and walked over to her and repeated, "Breathe."

"If this is bothering you so much why are you even going today?" He questioned. Looking up at her from under his brows as he fixed the order of the buttons on her shirt.

Giving him a small appreciative smile she explained, "It's the soup kitchen visit this afternoon. I have to be there. It's a photo-op thing. Good PR. And I'll be damned if Nygma's going to be in this pictures with Oswald and not me."

"Oh my god." Jim took a step back but didn't take his eyes off of her. She saw the corner of his mouth twitch as he realized, "You're jealous."

"I am not!" Bird defended, knowing it was lie before she even spoke the words.

"You are too." Jim argued.

Maybe he had been off the job for too long, he briefly thought. It had been over a week since the election results had been announced and Bird had came home angry that Oswald picked Nygma to be his right hand man.

How had he not picked up on it sooner that it wasn't just Bird's dislike of Nygma that had set her off and had her running around slightly frazzled and perpetually mad; it was jealously.

So clear now how it was written all over her.

"I am not." Bird wasn't giving up her denial.

"I should have seen it sooner… but I guess I've never seen you like this." Jim was clearly trying to hold back a laugh at her expense now, "But you are. You're jealous."

Instead of a verbal disagreement this time, she shot him an angry and joyless look before stepping out of sight in the closet again.

The urge to laugh faded as quickly as it hit him and by the time she emerged a few inches taller in a pair of dark purple suede pumps, Jim's forehead lined with his admission, "I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel about this."

"Ha-ha." Bird bounced her head from side-to-side in sync with her sarcastic response.

"You don't need to worry." Bird assured him as she closed the distance between them and pressed her mouth to his for a quick kiss before pulling back and flashing a smile when she added, "Even if I'm spending all day trying to get someone else's attention; I'm still coming home to you."

"Oh!" Jim snaked an arm around her and pulled her back in for another kiss when she tried to slip away, "Now who's trying to be funny?"

She chuckled against his lips before placing a hand flat against his chest to put distance between them, "I really have to go."

After another stolen kiss, Bird turned to walk away as she called over her shoulder, "And you're wasting your time scouring the crime beat like that. Tetch will show up at some point."

When she was out of sight, Jim pulled in a deep breath and nodded in agreement with what she'd said.

Bird was right, Tetch was going to show again.  
Which was the precise reason Jim was trying to find him first. It was clear that he blamed him for his sister's death and that meant that when he did show -he'd be coming for revenge.

That was something else Bird had agreed with him on. She'd said herself that he'd come looking for them.

And she was right. As she usually was about these things.

Jim sat back down on the side of the bed and picked up one of the papers. His eyes scanned the page but he didn't process or retain a single word of it.

There was something else he couldn't get out of his head - Bird.  
Not just in the usual way that she stayed in his thoughts either.

" _I'd do a lot of terrible things to keep you safe."_

Those words had stayed on his mind since the very second they'd left Bird's mouth.

There was a time when Jim couldn't understand how she compartmentalized things in her mind.  
How she could assign the value of one life over another without remorse or a second thought.

He could also clearly recall the time when his own life didn't hold much value to her; she'd openly told him so.

But so much had changed since then.

Not only was he one of the most important people to her now, but he also understood more of how and why she made it such a point to hold so very few in that high of a regard.

It was because she had to.

Because he knew now that when Bird really, truly loved and cared about someone she'd go to the ends of the earth for them. Give and give until there was nothing left of herself.

So absolute in her loyalty and devotion that one might even call it a fault.

Closing his eyes, Jim pulled in a breath and attempted to refocus his concentration. This was another reason he had to locate Tetch before he came for them.

After all, if this were an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth situation, than Jervis wouldn't only be coming after Jim; he'd want to take something very dear away from him and the most important thing in his life was Bird.

•••

"You alright?" Butch asked as he glanced over to Bird who was standing by a large orange cooler where she was reading the back of an empty powder punch packet that had just been mixed into the water.

"This is a joke." Bird commented, holding the packet up as she explained, "The label claims this is a nutrition drink. Full of vitamins and goodness but it's pretty much a bag of flavored sugar."

"Yeah?" Butch blew out a breath, "Well, it's cheap."

His line of sight went past her to where Oswald was speaking to some reporters while Nygma was taking his designated place behind the serving line in front of a large tray of freshly warmed dinner rolls.

"That drink ain't the only thing that's a joke around here." Butch grumbled under his breath.

"Right." She scoffed. "They're going to be on the front page. Pictures of them passing out hot soup and rolls. Meanwhile we're stuck at the end of the line passing out cheap punch and…" Waving a hand at the open box in front of Butch, she asked, "Whatever the hell that is."

"Peanut butter flavored wafer cookies." Butch read aloud as he plucked one of the small cookie packs from the full box. Dropping the cookies back in with an exasperated sigh he clarified, "I'm not talking about our places in this line either though-"

"I know." Bird nodded, being sure to keep her voice low, "We've been replaced."

"You've been replaced." Butch said, "I got put out to pasture. There's a difference."

"Oh, excuse me." She cocked her head to the side, "I didn't realize we were competing for whose got it worse."

"Nah." He shook his head, "I'm just saying it ain't right. We both done a lot for him and now I'm just dumb muscle and you're only here cause it looks good."

Both of their unhappy and annoyed expressions quickly snapped into wide smiles when the cameras started going off.

An elaborate set up by the press to catch various heart-warming photos of Gotham's newly elected Mayor serving food to those least fortunate in the community.

Bird overheard talk about how they wanted to do an entire two page spread covering the day and knowing the main focus of it would be Oswald and Nygma left Bird with a lasting feeling of someone reaching inside her chest and pinching her heart.

It was hours later. Nearly everyone who'd showed up at the soup kitchen had been served. Butch had taken to munching on a pack of the cookies he was supposed to be handing out as they waited for the last few people to come through the line and the media to get those last few gratuitous shots to accompany the story of how the Mayor and his staff stayed until every last hungry citizen was fed.

They looked over to see Nygma carefully fluffing up the white chef's hat Oswald had been wearing to serve the needy. Making sure their new Mayor looked picture perfect.

"Ugh." Bird complained, "I could puke."

"Not in the punch, alright?" Butch spoke up, "These people got enough problems."

"Shut up." Bird laughed as she threw an empty plastic cup at him.

Straightening her posture, Bird adjusted her dress and announced, "I'm going in."

Butch shook his head and held back a laugh of his own as he watched Bird squeeze into the photos. Literally and physically putting herself between Oswald and Nygma for the last few money shots.

It was a short time later that Bird was still hanging around the serving table.  
Taking care to sneak a little boy an extra roll when she knew the cameras were on her.

"Miss Wayne." One of the last remaining reporters called out as she walked up to where Bird was standing, "How are you?"

"Tired." Bird admitted the truth with a small chuckle, "But it's worth it. Oswald and I decided before we got here this morning that we weren't going to rest until every person who came through the doors had gotten something hot to heat."

The corner of Bird's mouth twitched into a smile as she watched the young woman eagerly eating up the information from her. Scribbling it down on her notepad so fast it looked like frantic chicken scratches.

Most of the reporters had already filed out. Not wanting to stay in a place like that for longer than they had to.

Not only was it not the most pleasant smelling building to be confined in, but human suffering is hard to ignore when it's staring you right in the face.

It seemed that there were two main types of reporters in Gotham.  
The first batch, taking up the lion share, would do anything for a story. Even if that story wasn't entirely true. It was all about sales being up and money lining their pockets.

Then the second group. Usually the youngest ones, really thought they were going to make a difference in the world. They wanted to report the truth. No matter how bright or grisly it was.

Bird watched her with an empathetic smile. Clearly this girl was from the second group, but it wouldn't be long before she'd convert to the first.

"I just…" The girl nervously smiled and tiled her notepad up, holding it against her chest, "I just wanted to say I think it's really great what you're doing. You and the Mayor!"

Bird graciously smiled. Her eyes cast down as she tucked her hair behind her ear.

It felt like lifetime ago, but in reality was only a matter of a few short years ago that she and her best friend dreamed of stealing away the power to run the city.

And now here they stood. He was Mayor and still secretly running the crime underworld. Excelling at both.

And Bird was in the papers nearly as much as he was. The city believed in her. Many took her word as gospel.

So strange, she thought to herself, how everyone was so easily swayed that both she and Oswald wanted to make the city a better place. That they truly cared about the downtrodden and were putting so much time, effort and money into making Gotham better.

She turned her head, looking back over to where Oswald was standing. He was mingling with some of the homeless. Going from table-to-table and offering up the extra food to anyone who was still hungry.

"You should get a shot of that." Bird pointed over in his direction as she spoke to the reporter, who looked over and then instructed the photographer with her to do just that.

Maybe they really were making the city better.  
Bird considered the thought.

Though she knew most of her own motivation came from keeping her newly gained public image sparkling and keeping donations coming into the company. She had been responsible for some real change in the city -in a good way.

The same could be said for Oswald.  
Though she knew his motivation was to keep the love of the people.

Which he had. The city really loved him.

Maybe the real motivation behind benevolent acts and altruism didn't matter as long as the outcome really was helping the people who needed it.

When Bird looked back over she saw Nygma was catching up with Oswald on the journey to unload every last bit of food they had and a jolt of anger surged through her again.

"Oswald!" Bird called out. Flicking an arm up in the air she waved him over to her.

With his every step bringing him closer in her direction, Bird's mind raced to come up with a plan.

Again, she'd be damned if the pictures used from the event was of him and Nygma.  
She needed something big, tying her best friend to her in the public eye.

In pictures. In print.

"Bird?"Oswald questioned. A wide smile plastered on his face as he side-eyed the reporter and wondered what was going on.

"Oswald." Bird beamed. Appearing nothing but entirely genuine and happy to have her friend so close to her, "I was just about to share our exciting news and I didn't want to do so without you!"

"Oh…" His lips pulled tighter as the smile became a psychical strain to keep up.  
He had no idea what she was talking about; but they were in front of a reporter with her pen at the ready and a camera pointed their direction ready to take the winning shot, "Yes, thank you for waiting until I was here with you."

"What big news is this?" The reporter asked them. Her hazel eyes wide behind her dark rimmed glasses.

Oswald turned towards the reporter who'd stolen the words right from his own mouth.

Clearing his throat. He reached up and loosened his tie. Hoping that the droplets of sweat that had beaded across his upper lip weren't near as visible to everyone else as they felt to him.

"The partnership." Bird linked her arm with Oswald's. Pressing against his side and looking pretty for the camera as the wheels turned in her mind.

She was making it up as she went.

"As you know. I've been heading up the community outreach department of Wayne Enterprises for a while now and now with my dearest friend being out city's new esteemed mayor; it just felt like the perfect time for the two of us to partner up-" Bird began.

"Yes. Of course!" Oswald chimed in. He still had absolutely no idea where Bird was going with this, but he certainly didn't want to appear that way, "We are both now in the perfect position to bring change Gotham. On a large scale."

Bird bowed her head and smiled.

She could feel Oswald literally squirming beside her and had she not been angry with him for all but replacing her with Nygma she wouldn't have left him hanging.  
But she was angry. She was hurt and frankly she wanted him to feel some of what she was feeling.

When she remained silent; Oswald shifted his stance and cleared his throat again, "Bird, I think you'd be the best one to deliver our good news.

"Oh, no." She shook her head. Giving him a smile that could have formed ice crystals in his veins, "Don't be so modest. Go on. Tell her about the new feed the hungry initiative you'll be heading up."

With a sound comparable to the air being knocked from his lungs, Oswald nervously looked around the room.

Clearly he'd done something to upset his friend, though at the moment he was unclear as to what the something was.

Either way, now wasn't the time to flail and appear as though he didn't have a plan himself.

Two could play this game and lucky for him, he'd always been able to think on his feet.

"Bigger." He nodded, looking back to the reporter, "These pop-up soup kitchens are great and serve a much needed purpose, but the truth is that we need something on a larger scale. It isn't just our citizens with no place to call home that are going hungry. It's children from low income families whose only meal is the one they get while at school."

"Exactly." Bird nodded, "And the families who are forced to choose between paying the bills to keep the lights on or being able to put food on the table. Affordable and healthy food must be accessible to everyone and that is our goal."

"This all sounds incredible!" The reporter scribbled and scribbled on her notepad.  
Not only was this amazing news but for whatever reason they'd chosen her to be the one to pass it along to the public, "And what do your plans include for making this dream a reality?"

The best friends exchanged matching expressions.  
Bird might have been the one to start it, but now they'd both continually dug themselves deeper.

"By producing and distributing the food right here in Gotham." Oswald couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Like community gardens?" The reporter questioned. An eyebrow irked in question, "In such an urban landscape?"

"To an extent." Bird backed what her friend said. Her mind quickly going to a late night show she'd caught on TV about how a particular type of gardening was getting more popular in urban areas, "Have you heard of hydroponics?"

"Isn't that where plants grown without soil?" The reporter asked, "With water instead."

"Yes." Bird nodded, "It's the perfect solution for bringing more fresh food into a city setting."

"And that's only the beginning." Oswald added, "And with the very generous donation of $100,000 from Wayne Enterprises to start this initiative; I feel we're off to a very bright start."

Bird smiled. She'd deal with the backlash from the board of the company later on.  
-Touche, Oswald.

After both of them stammering to add the project was still very much in it's infancy and they'd have more details to come in the very near future; they posed for more pictures together. Smiles wide and eyes bright.

Once they were alone and the reporter left, Oswald grabbed Bird's arm and pulled her over towards a vacant corner of the room and demanded to know, "What was that?"

Bird stared back at him. Blank expression. A few blinks. Silence.

In truth it was her establishing her territory in the public eye.

Making sure she didn't slip into the background now that Oswald was the mayor and Nygma was at his side as his trusted chief of staff.

This was her staying relevant. Both to the public and Oswald.  
Now they'd have to work together to follow through and deliver on the grand plan they'd just announced.

"Why didn't we think of this sooner?" Oswald exclaimed with all traces of the anger he'd been feeling gone, "Bird. This is genius."

"Really?" Her brows lowered.  
She wasn't sure what reaction she'd been anticipating when they were finally alone; but that sure wasn't it.

"Yes!"  
There was a smile on his lips as his face tilted up to the sky in pride. Clearly already imagining all the good press this announcement would bring him.

He was already beloved by the people of Gotham and this would only further concrete the outpouring of support they city had shown him.

"We need to get a team together to begin work on this." He continued.

"Absolutely." Bird agreed, "I'll have my secretary cut a check."

"We must get together more often." Oswald's eyes were on her now, "We'll have the city eating from the palms of our hands."

"A few years ago we were plotting to take over the city." She couldn't help but let out a laugh. The anger she'd been feeling had long since vanished as well, "Now we're plotting to feed hungry."

"How the times have changed." He laughed with her.

"Let's get dinner soon." Bird urged, "Just the two of us and catch up."  
Catching herself just short of stating she didn't want Nygma anywhere around them.

"You're not too busy?" Oswald asked her.  
His eyes roamed over her face. She looked tired.

"For you?" Bird grew sentimental, "Never."

"And Jim Gordon won't mind sharing you for an evening?" Oswald asked. His eyebrows arching up and his jaw grew tense.

There it was.  
The reminder that she wasn't the only one upset and jealous about having to share her best friend; he no longer had her all to himself either.

Choosing to try and maintain the friendliness of the moment and avoid an argument, Bird stated, "I'm free to dine with whomever I choose."

Over her friend's shoulder, Bird saw the last of the after lunch lingerers, who stuck around to either stay out of the elements or had nowhere else to go.

She caught sight of a woman with raven hair, cut short in an uneven bob. There was something familiar about her, but Bird didn't pay the situation much mind at first.

Oswald was naming off various events he had planned for the week. Trying to see if they had a day soon they really could meet up and share a dinner.

In truth he'd missed her. Not in the ever-present way he had when she'd fled the city months ago.  
That pain had since dulled. Out of sight, out of mind.

But now the way he missed her was when she was in front of him. He'd be brought back into the past. Into the days of her being the only person he could rely on.

He tried not to dwell on it too often.  
After all; it had taken years for the constant obsessive thoughts of her to fade.

But certainly there would be no harm in a nice dinner together, he thought.

Bird glanced back towards the other people in the room. Her eyes immediately seeking out and locating the woman she'd seen before.  
She couldn't shake the feeling that she knew her from somewhere.

Maybe she'd come through one of the shelters at some point when Bird had been on-site?

It wasn't until the woman turned sideways, her hair tucked behind her ear revealing her profile that Bird recognized her.

She let out a loud gasp; causing Oswald to ask if she was okay, but she didn't answer.

The woman with the short raven hair must have felt eyes on her. She quickly pulled on the hood from her jacket and made a run for the side exit.

"Bird?" Oswald yelled as Bird darted away in the middle of their trying to set up a date for their get-together.

She didn't hear him. Didn't see anyone except the woman she was chasing.

Nygma spun around just in time to see Bird run out of the exit. He looked over to where Oswald was still standing, looking both confused and hurt but her sudden abandonment.

Pushing his glasses back up on his nose, Nygma briskly walked towards the same door she'd disappeared through to find out what was going on.

When he stepped outside all he found was Bird standing in the center of the alleyway.  
Her skin pale and dark brown eyes wide.

Blank expression with not even enough energy or thought left in her to blink.

She looked as though someone had zapped every conscious thought from her brain.

Nygma looked around them, trying to locate the cause of her haunted expression, but he didn't see anything or anyone.

"Bird?" He slowly stepped closer to her, "What's going on?"

When she didn't answer. He tried to crack a joke, "You look like you've seen a ghost."

With that her eyes snapped up to his face as he now stood in front of her.

Wrong choice of words, she thought as she pinned her now burning eyes closed.

She wasn't sure how she didn't recognize the woman sooner.  
How she hadn't realized her supposed to be dead mother had been in the same room as her.

Lilith Wayne.  
The name still haunted her.

It had been Lily. She was sure of that.  
The dark hair, the side profile.

"Bird?" Nygma repeated, reaching a hand out to tap her on the shoulder and ask again what was going on.

But she got her mind and reflexes back just in time to slap his hand away and bark at him not to touch her.

With that she pushed past him to go back into the building as she internally tried to convince herself that Lily was dead and there was no way the woman she'd seen was really her biological mother.

But if it was just someone who bore her likeness -why had she run?

No, it wasn't her. Lily was dead, Bird told herself. She'd stood there and watched her die.

But then again she'd seen Oswald push Fish from a building into the river and she was alive.

Victor Fries had died and was now back among the living.

She'd watched Bridgit Pike burn to a crisp in front of her eyes and she was brought back to life.

Most alarming of all had been Theo Galavan's resurrection as Azrael.

The breath was forced from her body with the crushing realization that her mother could have been brought back to life in Strange's lab and escaped with everyone else.

Her stomach turned.

If the woman she had seen really was Lily; then she'd have to kill her all over again.

••• **Later that week •••**

"Hey." Bird greeted as she met up with her brother and Alfred inside the doors of The Siren's.

"There is she." Alfred smiled at her before questioning, "All alone tonight?"

"Mhm." Bird hummed, "Jim didn't want to tag along."

Not only had Jim made it clear he wasn't interested in attending the Mayor's past due victory party that night. He really didn't seem to believe it when Bird had swore that Oswald fairly won the election.

But to make the night sound even less appetizing; the party as being held at Barbara's club and she was the one hosting it.

"I can't imagine why." Alfred cleared his throat.

When Bird shot him a look, he straightened his posture and pretended to not notice her eyes were on him.

In all honesty she was surprised to see they'd both came to the party; it was clear from the expressions on their faces that they didn't really want to be there.

She didn't exactly want to be there herself and could think of a million other ways she'd rather spend her night than watching Nygma follow Oswald around like a lost puppy.

But not only would it look strange if she didn't show up; she also wanted to be there for Oswald.

This victory party was long over due; there had been an earlier planned celebration not long after election night, but due the recent trouble they'd run into with The Red Hood Gang, the night kept getting postponed for safety reasons.

Though Bird wasn't entirely sure why -considering since the small time gang had apparently re-emerged and took an interest in coming after the city's new mayor. They hadn't actually hurt anyone.

They'd ruined a few public appearances.

Most notably when Oswald unveiled the statue he'd had made of his mother and they'd beheaded it.

But despite being heavily armed that day not a single living person had been harmed.

It didn't matter anymore. The Red Hoods had been dismantled once again, just the day before, when Oswald had gotten a lead on their location and Butch made it to the warehouse before anyone else and managed to take the entire crew out.

"I'm glad you're here." Bruce stepped closer to his sister. A concerned look on his face, "I don't know if you've had a chance to speak with Detective Gordon since earlier today; but I wanted to inform you that I've hired him as a private investigator -to try and track down Ivy Pepper."

"Selina still can't find her?" Bird's eyebrows lowered.  
She was sure the young redhead would turn up eventually just like she always did.

"No." Bruce's voice lowered.

"Well, if anyone can find her it'll be Jim." Bird offered with a smile.

Bruce managed to smile back and nodded in agreement. That was his thought on the matter too.

"You haven't told him anything about…" Bruce's voice trailed off, "I only bring it up because when I informed him we were no longer looking into the corruption in the company and what happened to our parents -he seemed surprised."

Bird pulled in a breath and ignored the feeling of Alfred's eyes now on her.

"I haven't told him anything about it yet." Bird sighed, reaching up to rub her forehead, "For one; I don't know what to even say. And two; anyone we tell about The Court is going to be in danger -and Jim finds enough of that on his own."

"I understand." Bruce was quick to explain his reasoning behind bringing it up, "I'm sorry if I've caused any trouble between you."

It was still new territory for Bruce to be stuck in regarding his sister's and Jim's relationship.

In the past he'd told Detective Gordon whatever he felt comfortable telling him.

But now he had to watch what he said. Think twice about whether it was something Bird had already told him or not.

"Come on." Bird nodded her head for them to follow her and turned to lead them further into the club.

When they reached the display of a large ice sculpture crafted in Oswald's likeness with the title 'mayor' etched into the ice, Bruce sighed, "How long do we have to stay here?"

"As long as it takes for you to be seen in the world, Master Bruce." Alfred explained as they came to a stop, "Being Bruce Wayne -and smiling."

"So this is our life now?" Bruce questioned, "Fake smiles and mingling?"

"Welcome to my life, little brother." Bird chimed in.  
Over the past several months she'd been wearing a personable and charming persona in public around people she couldn't have cared any less about.

"I'm starting to miss the old days." Bruce admitted.

"So do I." Alfred echoed.

But this was the life Bruce had chosen.  
To be one person in public and another behind the scenes.

"Bird!"

Looking over her shoulder she saw Oswald quickly hobbling over in her direction.

When he came to a stop beside her, he looked at the company she was keeping and smiled.

"Bruce. Mr. Pennyworth." He greeted, "I'm so pleased you made it!"

"Yeah. Well, we're trying to get out a bit more Mr. Mayor." Alfred's response was sharp.  
Utterly disapproving and his eyes didn't miss the closeness at which Oswald stood beside Bird.  
Their friendship had always made his skin crawl.

"Oswald. Please." He corrected.

Bruce looked between them. He didn't care for Oswald Cobblepot either, but just as Alfred had pointed out earlier they were there to be seen.

"I never got the chance to thank you for saving our lives from the ex-mayor." Bruce did his best to put on a genuine smile, which faltered some as images from that night flooded back and he thought of how badly Bird got injured and how much worse it could have been, "We're very luck you showed up when you did."

With a chuckle, Oswald leaned his head forward. His hand landed on Bird's arm and he he pointed out, "As you know your sister is very important to me. I got there as quickly as I could."

Bruce looked between them. His eyes falling to where Oswald was holding onto Bird's arm still.

"You know, your father didn't approve of me." Oswald continued before he was able to stop himself, "Considered me a bad influence."

Bird's eyes widened and she turned her head to face him.

"I didn't know you'd met my father." Bruce admitted.  
He'd known his dad didn't approve in the slightest of his sister's friendship with him.

He could even remember overhearing fights between them.  
Their father outraged that she kept finding ways to get out and see Oswald, convinced something inappropriate must be going on considering the age difference as Bird has only been a teenager when they'd first met.

Arguments that would soon turn into screaming matches with Bird swearing on her life that they were only just friends and repeatedly trying to say Oswald was the only person who understood her.

For a moment Bruce felt a small pang of something like guilt.  
Standing there being good-natured with they very person his father blamed for Bird's descent into a life of crime.

But even knowing their father's beliefs on the matter; Bruce felt the truth went deeper than that.  
He didn't fully understand the strange bond his sister shared with Oswald, but he did know that she loved him enough to risk her life for his and that wasn't something she did lightly.

He considered something his father probably never did; that maybe in ways no one else was able to comprehend; Oswald had saved her life too.

"I met him only few times." Oswald was delayed on answering the question, "Unfortunately, they weren't pleasant meetings. Though I'd like to think that if your parents lives hadn't been cut short, so tragically, that maybe they'd have had a change of heart."

"Oh, I seriously doubt that." Alfred couldn't bite his tongue any longer.

The smile fell from Oswald's lips as he looked at the butler.

"Alfred." Bird's eyebrows raised, "Let's not forget he saved your life too the night Galavan came after us."

"It was nothing." Oswald tried to dismiss.

"Not at all." Alfred dismissed, "I found it very fortuitous you turned up when you did with that bazooka." He sarcastically chuckled, "I just felt a but sorry for Stan, the gardener -he was picking up pieces of Galavan for weeks."

With a delighted shrug, Oswald laughed and pointed out, "Oh, I can't take credit for all of it. That was actually Bird's idea. Blow him up into enough pieces that he couldn't ever be put back together again." With a wink he continued, "Brilliant, right?"

"Okay…" Bird drew out the word and smiled at her brother and Alfred before she looped one arm with Oswald's and patted his chest with her free hand as she said, "Let's make our rounds, shall we?"

"Lead the way." Oswald nodded.

Once they were out of earshot, Bruce turned to Alfred.

"What?" Alfred feigned innocence.

"Was that really necessary?"

"Thomas couldn't stand him." Alfred reminded the youngest Wayne, "And for very good reason, I might add."

"Because he thought he manipulated Starling into making the choices she did back then?" Bruce wanted clarification.

"Yes. Exactly that." Alfred agreed.

Catching sight of the look in Bruce's eyes, he pushed, "You don't think so?"

"I'm not sure." Bruce admitted, "But Starling trusts him and cares about him in a way I don't think she does anyone else. That must be for a reason."

"Ah, well, Lady Wayne isn't exactly known for her sound reasoning, now is she?" Alfred regretted the words the moment they slid from his tongue and left a bitter taste behind.

"Don't be mean, Alfred." Bruce's face twisted up.  
He caught sight of Selina from across the way. No doubt she was there to pick-pocket the wealthy party-goers.

"I'll be back." Bruce announced before Alfred had the chance to say anything else.

He'd been hoping to see Selina at the party that night. Not only did he want to let her know he'd hired Jim Gordon to try and find Ivy; but he'd made the decision to let her know how strongly he cared about her -as more than a friend.

Right before his clone had left town, he'd let them know that he and Selina had shared a kiss.

At first Bruce was hurt and even angry at the news, but then he'd come to conclusion that Selina must have only kissed Five because she thought he was Bruce at the time.

Alfred didn't seem as sure as he was about it, but Alfred wasn't always right.

•••

Bird glanced around the room from where she stood at the bar.

Her brother and Selina had disappeared a while ago and she'd seen Alfred chatting up a pretty blonde just moments before; but now she didn't see him anywhere either.

Oswald was getting ready to make his speech and Bird figured she'd head out soon after that.

In truth she was feeling ignored.

Not just by Oswald either, but every time she spotted Victor Zsasz, he seemed to duck out of view from her.  
As if he were avoiding her.

She didn't pretend to know why Zsasz did half of the things he did, but she'd never known him to avoid her.

Though she had spotted him talking to Nygma earlier in the night; so maybe even he was drinking the kool-aid.

Now that she paused for a minute to think about it, she'd also seen Butch speaking to Nygma earlier as well and it seemed like his presence had also been sparse.

So now she'd been left with no one to talk to and had taken to hanging close to the bar.

In fact, the only person who seemed to be paying her any mind was a beautiful tall redhead from just across the bar who seemed to be mimicking Bird's every move.  
From the way she held her drink to her stance.

Bird looked back over to see the girl was still watching her. There was something a little familiar with her, but she was also fairly sure she'd never seen her before.

The other woman was dressed for the event, an expensive green cocktail dress and her long red locks laid in perfectly pinned back shiny waves.

But there was also a slight nervousness in her movements as she stood there, like she wasn't used to being at these high-society events.

Maybe that's why she kept watching her, Bird reasoned, she was trying to mimic her movements to fit in better.

Not giving it much more thought, Bird took another drink from her glass before setting it back down on the bar surface and making her way through the crowd as Barbara took the stage and demanded everyone's attention.

"Ladies. Gentlemen. Welcome to The Sirens." The blonde began, "Tonight we're here to celebrate the honorable Mayor Cobblepot. Our savor from the monsters and the new captain of fair city."

The audience erupted in a thunder of clapping, some people were yelling in excitement and others whistling as loud as they possibly could in good cheer.

"And now…" Barbara continued, "The Mayor would like to say a few words!"

Bird looked over to where Oswald was making his way through the sea of party-goers, drawing closer to the stage with a wide smile on his face.

He wasn't just happy.  
He looked to be floating on some other plane of being. A cloud nine high. All his dreams were coming true.

Bird raised her hands and clapped along with everyone else and tried to be happy for him.  
After all she knew better than anyone the pain and struggles he'd endured to get to where he now stood.

But something tightened deep inside her chest. Clenching and hardening.  
Like a beating heart turning to stone.

She had always been on Oswald's side; but now that he sat the top of his game -it was Nygma he'd rather have _at_ his side.

"Tonight is a celebration -not of my victory, but of Gotham's. This is a new day!" Oswald began.  
His voice trembled a little as he stood before so many people who were hanging on his every word.

He'd always wanted this, but the attention and admiration was something that would take getting used to.

Even when he'd rose up to claim the throne as king of the crime world, people only followed out of fear and not much else.

But now the city loved him. He was a hero in their eyes. They chose him to be their leader.  
And he couldn't be more grateful to Ed for showing him that.

The roaring sounds of jubilation turned into screams of panic when a gun shot rang out in the room.

Glass shattered and rained down on the dark polished floor from the light fixture the bullet had struck.

"I wouldn't celebrate yet, Mr. Mayor. Red Hoods ain't finished." A voice rang out as the crowd parted, backing fearfully away from the man donning the red hood and pointing a handgun towards the stage.

Before Bird was able to make a move or intervene, an arm wrapped around her neck from behind, someone was pressed against her back and she couldn't breathe.

Squirming and struggling, she fought to get away, but the person holding her in a choke-hold was much stronger than she was.

Her body started to weaken.  
Vision darkening around the edges like a sheet of paper burning from the corners in.

Her stomach lurched; feeling more nauseous by the second in her struggle for a breath.

Frantically she scratched and clawed at the arm around her neck, trying to get a hold to pull it away and free herself.

"Ed!" Oswald shrieked, confused and betrayed as his Chief of Staff joined him on the stage -but only to hold him still, making him an easier target for the enemy to shoot, "What are you doing!"

"Sorry,boss."

Oswald stopped struggling to get away from Nygma and stared with wide eyes.  
He didn't need the red mask gone to see who was holding it at gun point.

"Butch?" He yelled.

With the last of her strength, Bird raised her leg and stopped down hard on the man's shoe who, she believed, was trying to kill her.

The heel spike went right through the top of the man's shoe and he yelled out in pain. Releasing his grip on her enough where she could wriggle free.

Just as she spun around to ward off any future sneak attacks, someone came up from behind him and hit him over the head. His body fell to the floor.

Holding onto her neck and gasping for a breath she looked up to see Alfred standing there, holding a serving tray he'd just taken from one of the wait staff and used to knock the man unconscious.

Another gun shot rang out and Bird spun around so fast she lost her balance from being so uneven with only one shoe still on; the other remained lodged in the foot of the man who'd nearly bested her.

Oswald looked down at him self. Expecting to see blood puddling around his feet and the pain from the bullet to set in.  
But there was nothing.

It was a blank. The bullet wasn't real.

"Oops." Nygma laughed from he was still clutching onto Oswald's arm.

Butch looked down to the gun in his hand.  
It had all been a set up.

Two more gun shots sounded, only these were from real bullets.

Fired by Zsasz; one into each of Butch's legs. Bringing him to the floor with a cry of pain.

It was too much too fast. Bird was still struggling for her breath, only barely aware of Alfred's presence as he pulled her to her feet to check on her.  
His own tone frantic, not only at seeing the state she was in; but also in his questioning of where Bruce was.

But Bird couldn't hear him.

"The Mayor." Nygma's voice echoed through the now silent room, "Our Mayor vowed that all of the Red Hoods would be destroyed and now we have the real leader caught -red handed."

With that he left the stage and approached the badly injured Butch still down on the floor where he'd landed.

"You really think I'd give you real bullets? You are an idiot." Nygma lowly said with a sneer on his face, just loud enough for Butch to hear him before he pulled the hood from his face.

Everyone gasped as they saw who was truly under the mask.  
Butch Gilzean; new leader of the Red Hood Gang.

"I will kill you for this!" Oswald screamed into the microphone in front of him.

Butch, breathing heavily from the pain looked around until he locked eyes with Bird from the across the floor.

He saw the betrayal on her face.  
Hatred even.

Though he wondered if that hate was directed at him, or more towards herself for letting him back in to her life, for trusting him after he'd turned on them once before.

Butch wanted to tell her more. Tell her he'd never intended on hurting Oswald.  
Explain why he'd resurrected the Red Hoods.

Warn her that Nygma was more of a treasonist than either of them had realized and that she needed to watch her back.

But he couldn't. He couldn't do anything other than mouth, "I'm sorry."

"Lady Wayne!" Alfred shook her once more.

"I'm fine-"She choked out as she finally looked at him.

"Your brother?" He repeated for what felt like the hundredth time, "Where's Bruce?"

"I don't know." Bird's eyes darted around the room, "I saw Selina earlier." She remembered, "Ch-" Her words were broken by a violent coughing fit, "Check the roof."

•••

"Thank, God." Jim exclaimed with an audible sigh of relief when he opened the door in a rush to leave Bird's townhouse and get to The Siren's lounge; and found Bird coming up the steps.

She came to a stop at the top of the stairs and faced him.

Her hair which had been elegantly pinned back for the party was mostly undone now. She looked disheveled from head-to-toe.

Literally, since she wasn't wearing any shoes.

There was a dark bruise still forming on her neck.

"I was on my way." Jim insisted.

Ever since news had broke about the attack on the Mayor's victory party, Jim had regretted not going with Bird.  
Especially when his phone calls to her went unanswered and he didn't know if she'd been hurt.

He was on way rushing out of the door when she'd arrived back home.

"What happened." He asked once they were back inside and he surveyed the damage that had been done.  
Mainly the bruising on her neck.

"I don't know." Bird shook her head.  
There was a distant look in her eyes.

The rest of her time at the victory party had been a blur.

Alfred had found Bruce on the roof with Selina; they were both safe and not even aware of the madness had been unfolding beneath their feet.

Oswald had made another speech to the crowd and had them all cheering for him again.

Bird had felt like she was in a daze as everything continued to unfold.

Tabitha had broken out from where she'd been held hostage in the kitchen of the lounge and she and Butch had fought back.

Bird stood idly in place and watched as Butch tried to kill Nygma and nearly succeeded in choking him to death. But Oswald had broken a large bottle of champagne over Butch's head and revived his injured friend.

She hadn't made a move then either.  
Just watched everything play out in front of her.

In the end both Tabitha and Butch had been subdued and by the time GCPD showed up nearly the entire crowd was gone and they'd had the still injured and badly bleeding Butch loaded into an ambulance.

Bird had left when they in the process of getting the gurney loaded.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Jim's relief at having her home in one piece faded.

"I mean exactly what I said." She unintentionally snapped at him, "I don't know, Jim. None of it makes sense."

"Was it the Red Hoods again?" Jim questioned as he followed her up the stairs.

There had been conflicting reports on the TV about what had gone down during the celebration and he wasn't sure which version of events to believe.

"It was Butch." Bird came to a stop at the top of the stairs and turned back to face him, "He tried to kill Oswald, but the bullets were blanks and then Nygma…" She shook her head, "I don't know."

"Either way…" He breathed, unsure of what else to say. "I'm glad you're safe."

Without another word to him she headed straight for the bedroom. Seeming to pick up speed as she went.

"Bird!" Jim called after her.  
It took him a few moments to follow her.

He meant what he said, above all else he was glad she was home and safe, but he couldn't tell if she really was as unsure of the events of the night as she claimed to be or if she just didn't feel like sharing the details.

"Cam you just stop for a minute?" Jim said as he walked into the bedroom, "And talk to me?"

"I don't have time." Bird's eyes were more alert than they'd been even just seconds before.

She'd snapped out of it. The fog she'd been in was gone.

The lost look she'd been wearing was replaced with determination.

"You don't have time-" He started to ask what she meant, but he didn't get the chance to finish as she turned her back to him and asked, "Unzip me?"

Taking a step forward. He hesitated for a moment, feeling like he was about twenty steps behind on whatever the hell was going on with her.  
But with a sigh, he reached out for the delicate zipper of her evening gown and unzipped the back of it as she'd asked.

With a whisper of a thanks under her breath, Bird shed the dress on the floor and disappeared into the large walk-in closet.

Jim wasn't sure what he expected to see when he followed her; maybe her changing into whatever she planned on wearing to bed or even just changing into something more comfortable than the confining dress she'd had tailored for the party.

But instead he found her already wearing a pair of tight dark pants, she was sitting on an ottoman in there pulling socks on over her bare feet and sliding a pair of old boots on; he couldn't remember the last time she'd worn those.

"You're going back out?" He quickly realized.

Concern giving way to anger; clearly she was keeping something from him.

"I have to." She defended, barely glancing in his direction as she grabbed a black tank top and pulled it on over her bra. After grabbing her favorite leather jacket from it's hanger, she turned back to face Jim as she said, "I don't have time to explain it right now, but I need to talk to Butch."

"Okay." Jim stood his ground, "Then explain it on the way."

"You're coming with me?" Bird arched a brow.

Jim nodded -though he wasn't entirely sure why she seemed so surprised.

He certainly didn't intend to let her take off on her own; not after she'd already been in a fight for her life once that night.

"You can sit this out." Bird assured him.

Jim's brows furrowed.  
It wasn't as if it was in Bird's nature to ask for help, but it didn't fully dawn on him why she was letting him know he was off the hook until she tripped the switch to reveal the false wall at the back of her closet.

"Bird." He shook his head from side-to-side in disapproval, "If you need to talk to Butch, then talk to him, but you don't need to do it like this."

The panel slid open and revealed the vast weapon collection to the only two people who knew it was there.

"Don't you get it?" Bird asked while she pulled her hair hair up and then wrapped it into a tight bun so she could easily slide a ski mask on to conceal her identity, "Butch betrayed Oswald. He's never going to make it to the hospital."

Grabbing up her balaclava she stuffed it in the pocket of her jacket before grabbing a gun and then leaning down to pick up a plastic case from the floor.  
Jim recognized it as as the holder for the portable tire spikes.

Her plan was starting to come together right in front of his eyes now.

She was going to lay a trap for the ambulance and ambush the crew.

This was the very same plan she'd offered up the day they'd planned on breaking Karen Jennings out of GCPD custody.

The same plan that he, Bruce and Alfred all agreed was too extreme and dangerous.  
So instead they'd planted a large bag of cash in the road and ambushed the officers when they stopped the van.

This was reckless. Dangerous.

She was risking not only Butch's life, but the lives of the emergency response workers in the ambulance.  
Along with putting herself in a fair amount of danger considering there had to be at least one armed officer since Butch was under arrest.

"You with me or not?" Bird questioned.

Jim didn't say anything as he stared back at her.

The clothes she was wearing.  
The look of determination in her eyes mixed with a gleam of excitement.  
She was about to do something bad and wasn't holding onto any hesitation in doing so.

It reminded him of the first few times they'd crossed paths.  
Back when she'd proudly proclaim that not only was she a criminal; but she was exceptional at it.

When he still didn't say anything, Bird gave him an understanding smile.  
Walked up to him and planted a kiss on his lips before pulling back and casually saying, "I'll be home later tonight."

Spoken as if she was heading into the office to finish some paperwork before an important deadline and not about to pull off a heist.

She'd barely made it out of the room before he'd grabbed a ski mask for himself and darted after her.

Back then, before they were together and she'd act like this it would get under skin. He'd feel like they were on a different planets.  
But it didn't feel that way anymore and at the moment he couldn't tell if that was good or bad.

It was startling, to say the least, when it dawned on him halfway down the stairs that not only was he going along to make sure she didn't get herself killed; but also to prevent her from killing anyone.

•••

By the time they were in place, hiding in the shadows under an overpass with the strip of spikes spread across the road, Jim understood why she'd been so insistent on speaking to Butch directly; along with why she'd answered his questions of what happened with an 'I don't know'.

Something was definitely off with the entire situation.

He still wasn't sure it required this much of a risk to talk to him, but Bird was right, he was never going to make it to the hospital.

They had only been a few minutes ahead of the ambulance on it's way to Gotham General, which didn't leave much time for talking or even second-guessing before they'd need to spring their plan into action.

"Showtime." Bird said under breath as she reached up and pulled her mask down over her face which only had an opening for her eyes.

Jim covered his own face and pulled in a deep breath as he looked down to the remote in Bird's gloved hand.

Just as the ambulance was going to drive over the trap, but pressed the button and the razor sharp blades deployed. Shredding and releasing the air out of the tires as the heavy vehicle went right over the spikes.

There was some swerving as the driver struggled to maintain control but luckily they managed to keep from wrecking.

Once the ambulance was stopped, the doors flew open from the back and a uniformed officer jumped down to the street. His service weapon drawn.

The officer must have been new. Not only did Jim not recognize him, but he looked terrified and his hands were shaking.  
He was easy enough to disarm, and Jim did just that before cuffing the officer with his own set of cuffs.

It was quick and easy, almost a little too easy how quickly they'd taken over the ambulance.

The two EMTs, rookie cop and driver were all laying on their stomachs on the safety of the sidewalk with their hands either zip tied or cuffed behind their backs.

No had gotten injured and Jim was reminded of something Bird had said the night they'd broken into the Internal Affair's evidence room at the station to try and clear his name. The muggers they'd ran into after along with the woman they'd saved.

" _We make a pretty good team."_

He heard her voice in his head from that night.

And she was right. They did make a good team.  
Only he wished they were doing something better with those abilities than taking people hostage and destroying city property.

When the loading doors of the ambulance opened again. Butch shook his head and blew out a sigh. His eyes falling to where he his wrist was cuffed to the metal base of the gurney.

"I knew it." He grumbled with defeat turning his voice to gravel, "I told 'em. I told 'em we'd never make to the hospital."

Bird tucked the gun she was carrying into the waistband of her pants and pulled her mask off.

"You?" Butch couldn't hide his shock -or sadness, "Penguin sent you to finish me off?"

When Jim removed his mask as well, Butch continued to voice his thought process, "Or not… Wait, what's going on?"

When neither of them immediately answered he questioned, "You here to save me or kill me?"

"I don't know yet." Bird answered honestly at the exact same time Jim said, "Neither."

Bird looked at him, her eyes falling to the blood soaked bandage over one of the bullet wounds on his leg where his pant-leg had been cut off to give EMTs access to the wound.

"What happened?" Bird asked, "I keep going over it in my head and you know, my first thought is that you wouldn't do this… but then my mind keeps going back to the night you handed Oswald and I both over to Galavan."

"Bird, you gotta believe me." Butch pleaded, "I never planned on hurting Oswald, okay? That's not why I hired the Red Hoods. I can explain."

"Yeah?" Jim questioned, looking back at him before checking their surroundings from the windows on the door, "You better talk quick then. Oswald's people are probably right behind us."

"Okay, listen." Butch began as he held up his non-cuffed arm, the one with a metal hand in place of where flesh and bone used to be, "I gave Penguin everything. I used to be someone in this town and then that pencil neck'd son of a bitch came along and suddenly I'm nothing. Nada. It ain't right."

"I know." Bird agreed, "Oswald shoved us both to the sidelines for Nygma."

"I was done with bein' pushed out." Butch explained, "I was gonna make Penguin respect me again. See that I'm his right-hand guy and not Nygma. I had it all planned and no one was gonna get hurt. I was never really planning on hurting Oswald."

Jim listened in silence as Butch explained his motives for getting the Red Hoods to go after Oswald.  
Suddenly more of the news lately made sense. Like why the new Mayor kept being heckled by the gang but never got hurt when they'd been no strangers to violence in the past.

He was also struck with the thought that Butch seemed just as a jealous over how attached Oswald was getting to Edward Nygma as Bird was.  
Something Jim couldn't begin to understand but he didn't have time to question it now.

Butch explained how Nygma had figured out he'd brought the Red Hoods back and approached him with an offer. Kill Penguin and they'd take over the city together.

He'd refused at first. He didn't want to betray or kill his boss, but then Nygma had threatened Tabitha's life. Had her currently being held in the kitchen by Zsasz as he brought up his proposal.

But it had all been a trap.  
Ed had turned Butch's own plan against him.

Gave a him a gun with blanks to do the deed so his double-cross would be exposed in front of everyone and both Nygma and Oswald would emerge looking like the heroes.

Bird hung her head. She believed him.

He'd been driven to a point of desperation when he'd been shoved aside by the boss he'd been loyal too; and then once again when they threatened Tabitha, who he believed to be the love of his life.

"Hey." Jim got their attention, "We've got company."

Both he and Bird moved to opposite sides of the interior of the ambulance and waited for the person to open the doors to hop up inside.

"Tabby?" Butch breathed a sigh of relief when he saw she was fine.  
Once GCPD had hauled him off he didn't know what had become of her.

Tabitha aimed her gun at Bird, mistakenly believing she was there to kill Butch for his attempt on Oswald's life.

"Drop it."

Tabitha looked over to where she could now see Jim had a gun and trained eye on her.

"You've got to be kidding me." She rolled her eyes.

"It's okay." Butch assured her, "They're just here to talk."

Slowly, Tabitha lowered her weapon and Jim followed suit.

"Bird." Butch drew her attention, "I'm telling the truth."

"I believe you." She admitted, "What I don't understand is why you didn't come to me. I was right there, Butch. If you had come to me and told me what was going on-"

"You'd have done what?" Butch bellowed with a laugh.

"Talked to Oswald about what a traitor Nygma is-"

"He wouldn't have believed you." Butch cut in, "You'd have gotten yourself hurt or worse, killed, trying to get in the middle of that."

"I mean, you did literally jump in front of a bullet for Penguin before." Tabitha pointed out.

"A bullet you fired." Bird snapped back at her.

With a smile spreading over her lips, Tabitha cooed, "And here I thought we were moving past that."

"I didn't want anyone to get hurt." Butch said, "Not Tabby, not you… not even Oswald but I had to make a choice and I did what I thought was right."

"Oswald isn't going to rest until you're dead." Bird said in a sorrowful tone, "He will never stop hunting you."

Turning to Tabitha she added, "Which means you better hide him somewhere no one will ever find him. Somewhere that even I don't know about."

Jim opened the door to the ambulance when Bird started towards him.

"Hey." Butch called after her, "You need to watch yourself. You've always had a blind-spot when it comes to Penguin and now Ed Nygma's got his trust. He got me this time… you could be next."

Hopping down from the ambulance, Bird turned back one last time to her old friend and nodded in parting, "Goodbye, Butch."

•••

* * *

 **A/N - I know updates aren't coming as fast as they used to, but just know that I'm really trying to get the chapters and written and posed whenever I get some spare time. Haha.  
**

 **No matter how long the space between updates are, I hope everyone is still with me and still a fan of Bird's story.**

 **I'm really so appreciative of all the support I've been shown over the course of this series.**

 **I owe a huge thank you to: Munyue, xenocanaan, Love. Fiction. 2018, AGBreads, ThatMysteriousSlime, Shadow knight1121, Davina C Foxx, SmellYourScentForMiles, Havana, xxXWolfsLullabyXx, DancingDorisDay and to the Guests who were kind enough to review chapter 7.**

 **Looking forward to hearing everyone's thoughts on this most recent chapter as well. ^_^**


	9. Down the Rabbit Hole

**IX - Down the Rabbit Hole**

" _You cannot hinder someone's free will, that's the first law of the Universe, no matter what the decision."- E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly_

* * *

•••

Pulling in a deep breath, Bird reached out and pressed the doorbell button.  
Leaning forward she listened for the chime; but there was silence.

"Damn thing." She muttered under her breath.

Even after all the money they'd spent to have the old brownstone restored and brought up to code; there were still things that didn't work properly in the old house.

The doorbell just happened to be one of those.

With another breath of the crisp morning air pulled in between her teeth, Bird raised her hand and knocked loudly on the door.

"Starling?" Harvey had an unsure expression on his face when he saw who was knocking at his door so early in the morning.

"Doorbell went out again, huh?" She questioned.

With a slow nod he answered, "It works half the time."

"What are you doing here?" He questioned.

"May I come in?"

Stepping to the side, he motioned for her to come in from the cold weather. Once she was inside the house, he asked, "Come to threaten me again?"

"Really?" Her eyebrows raised, "I wasn't threatening you, Harvey. Plus, you started it. You threatened to tell GCPD about my involvement in Fat Lenny's crew being wiped out. I simply pointed out that it wouldn't be the smart choice to make considering the repercussions would affect you as well."

"How mafia-esque you are in your reasoning." Harvey cocked his head to the side before questioning, "Or are you still pretending that's not a part of your life anymore?"

Bird let out a small laugh.  
Quiet; but unhinged enough to make his posture stiffen.

He never knew what to expect with her; it used to be something that drew him to her.  
Not it just made it feel like the floor he was standing on was rigged with a trap door.

"I'm not here to fight with you." Bird insisted, "I just came by to pick up a few of my things I left here."

"This early in the morning?" He asked. Still seeming suspicious of her motives.

"I have a day job too now, remember?" She pointed out, "Plus, I'm meeting a friend for breakfast."

"Let me guess…" He pretended to really give it some thought before asking, "Our esteemed new Mayor?"

"Is my stuff still here or not?"

"Third floor." He called over his shoulder as he headed for the kitchen to start a pot of coffee.

Bird lingered in the entryway a little longer. Peeking into the living room to see how different the interior of the house looked before making her way up the stairs.

To her surprise the house didn't look all that different from how she remembered it. It even smelled the same.

She wasn't sure what she expected; nothing too drastic, but she'd still expected it to look different.

She stopped off at the second floor, looking through the open doors of the room as she crossed through the hallway.

That was something they'd never agreed on. She wanted to keep door shut and he preferred them open.

She saw he'd turned one of the spare rooms into a home office in her absence.  
In fact, it was the very room the real estate agent had pointed out with a bright smile would make a great nursery.

Bird remembered feeling like she could have crawled from her very skin at that point.

She struggled to keep plants alive. Though, she had done a remarkable job with the potted bamboo plant Harvey had given her, it was still going strong somehow.  
And he lived with a deep-seated fear of turning into his father. Being abusive.

Which Bird had assured him many times that he wasn't going to be like his father, but the truth was that he did have a violent side to him. A darkness he would keep buried until it exploded on those around him rather than try and face it.

Needless to say, having kids wasn't something that either of them had seen in their future.

She couldn't help but laugh under her breath as she remembered the look on their real estate agents face when she'd brought up a nursery and both Bird and Harvey went completely silent on her.  
The stutter of her voice when she tried to back-track into pointing out it was also the perfect space for a cozy home office.

The trip down memory lane ended when she reached the third floor, which was an open floor plan.  
She couldn't remember what the agent had tried to say they could use it for, but it had mainly turned into a storage space.

-And possibly the only spot in the house that looked drastically different from when she lived there.

There were boxes she didn't recall being stacked against the walls and decorations for every holiday one could think of.

Since when did he decorate for the holidays?

Shaking her head she realized maybe it was something he enjoyed but didn't bother with then they were together because she wasn't the most festive person.

Pushing the thoughts from her mind, she got to work locating her belongings in the mess and clutter.  
Boxes she'd promised she'd be back for.

And she had gotten most of her things from the house when their relationship ended. The rest she didn't care if he threw away or gave to charity.

Thankfully he hadn't done either.  
Harvey had held onto them in case she came back for what she'd left behind.

Kneeling down she opened the flaps from on the boxes and pushed the random items aside until she found the single item she'd made the trip for.

A picture. In a simple silver frame. Black and white.

A picture of her mother, Lily.

As far as she knew it was the only picture that existed of her. And even though it was taken at least twenty years ago, anyone could still place her by it.

"Coffee?" Harvey offered once Bird stepped off the last stair onto the first floor.  
The resentment was gone from his tone.

He seemed calmer now. Happier even.

Hot and cold; that's always how things were with him.

"No, thanks." Bird declined, "I got what I needed, so I'll get out of your hair."

His eyes fell to the picture frame in her hand.

Immediately he knew what it was.  
He'd find her looking at it from time to time,before they knew Lily was still alive.  
Before she'd showed back up and made Bird regret ever wishing to meet the woman who'd given her life.

"What's going on?" He questioned. Looking almost concerned.

"Nothing." Bird dismissed, "I just… I saw someone the other day and they looked like her and-"

"You think she's alive?" He couldn't hide the shock on his face, "Or more like she was brought back to life?"

"I don't know." Bird shrugged.

It was more than she'd told anyone else about it; even Jim.

More than she'd intended on telling anyone, but that's how it was with Harvey, he'd get her to say more than she meant to by simply being in her presence.

"Probably not, right?" She tried to brush it off and lighten the mood with a laugh.

"I don't know." Harvey answered sincerely.  
It wasn't as though coming back from the dead was impossible in a city like Gotham and Lilith Wayne had died during the time Strange was doing his experiments at Indian Hill.

"You met her. You know what she looks like, so if you happen to see her or someone that looks like it could be her, keep your distance but call me." Bird instructed, "And don't tell anyone about this. Please?"

His eyes dropped down to the cup of coffee in his hand and then back up to meet her expectant gaze.

"Who am I going to tell?" He questioned.  
His expression showing she was getting what she wanted.

That was always an issue for him. He couldn't tell her no; even when he knew he should.

•••

"Good morning, Bird." Oswald greeted with a wide smile as Bird entered the dining room in the mansion that had belonged to his father.

"Oswald." Bird forced a smile across her lips to greet him back.

She was caught off guard when he scrambled to his feet from where he'd been sitting at the head of the table went over to her. Taking both her hands in his, he leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

When she leaned back to look at him she was struck by how widely he was smiling. How genuinely happy he was.

Like the sun that morning wasn't shining from the sky; but rather inside of his very soul.

Bird had thought he'd invited her to breakfast to see if she knew anything about how the ambulance carrying Butch Gilzean had been stalled on the way to the hospital and he'd since disappeared.

"You seem… happy." Bird commented. Looking down as he pulled her over to the table and instructed her to have a seat.

"What a beautiful morning, isn't it, Bird?" Oswald beamed as he took his own seat and motioned around them, "You know, they say that fortune favors the brave."

When his maid, Olga entered the room with a tray of hot food for them and started setting it out on the table Oswald directed his attention at her and asked, "Do they have a saying for that in your country, Olga?"

Setting a plate piled high with still sizzling bacon down, Olga answered his question in Russian.  
Neither Bird nor Oswald understood.

Oswald laughed, "I don't know what you're saying."

As she added an assortment of jams and jellies to the table, Olga spoke something else in her mother tongue and Oswald shook his head, still no closer to understanding what she was saying, "It's not important." He sighed.

"What is important is that I have found someone." Oswald announced, "And what good is love if it's one-sided?"

Bird's eyes widened as she heard him.

Reaching forward she picked up her glass of orange juice and downed it like it was cold water and she was dying of thirst.

"I have no choice but to confess my feelings to Ed." Oswald finally announced to both Bird and Olga.

"No." Bird closed her eyes and said the word just low enough he was unable to hear.

"Bird." Oswald looked at her, his eyebrows lowering at the expression on her face.  
Maybe the orange juice was sour tasting and not sweet enough, he considered and and shrugged it off.

"You are my dearest friend and I wanted you to know that I'm going to tell Ed how I feel." He proudly said.

Bird stared down at the all the food on the table, none of it did she have an appetite for any longer.

She didn't trust Edward Nygma. She didn't like him; in fact she was pretty sure she hated him and cursed the days when she considered him a friend.

And now Oswald was in love with him?

She opened her mouth but no sound came out.

Oswald, so wrapped up in his own thoughts, continued, "My mother used to tell me that _life only gives you one true love, Oswald. You find it - run to it._ "

Smiling and wishing his mother was still around to see how happy Ed made him, Oswald announced to them both, "So that is what I'm going to do."

"I'm also going to enroll you in an ESL program." Oswald told Olga, "You really should learn the language if you're going to work here."

Seeming about as thrilled at the news of his new found love as Bird was, Olga picked up the serving tray and left the room.

Oswald took a drink of his own orange juice and was about to comment that it tasted fine to him when he realized Bird hadn't said anything.

"You're being awfully quiet." He stated.

"Oswald." Bird pulled in a breath, "You can't."

"I can't what?"

"This…" She stammered, "This is such a bad idea. Nygma can't be trusted, don't you see that? He -he tricked Butch into that attack against you and-"

"Ed explained everything to me." He swore, "I thought you'd be happy for me. That I've finally found someone. MY someone."

"He explained everything to you?" Bird asked, "I got attacked that night too-"

"Only to keep you from interfering-"

"Yeah!" She yelled, "Because I would have. If someone points a weapon at you I'm going to interfere and do what I can to keep you safe. That's caring about someone. That's love."

Her face was growing redder by the second as she added, "You act like what he put together was some genius plan, but you really could have died. What if Butch had used a different gun than the one Nygma gave him? What if-"

"Why is it so difficult for you to be happy for me?" He questioned as if there were no logic or truth to her words.

"Oh my god." Bird rubbed her forehead, "Oswald, if it were literally any other person in Gotham, I'd be so happy for you, but I can't do this. I can't sit here and plaster on a fake smile and pretend to be thrilled for you. This is going to end badly, I feel it in my bones."

His jaw tensed. Teeth gritted together.

"You don't think he loves me back?" Oswald finally asked.

"I don't know that he's even capable of it!" She yelled.

"Some would say the same about us." He pointed out.

"Oswald, please. Think this over. Even if Nygma does feel the same -my god, the last person he claimed to love ended up dead by his hand!" Getting to her feet, she threw her cloth napkin down on her empty plate, "Hands. Literally dead by his hands. He strangled her."

"I'm well aware-"

"Then what is wrong with you?" Bird demanded to know, "How do you think you can have a relationship with someone who's capable of killing the things they claim to love?"

"You don't love him." Bird said.  
Spoken in tone as if she were scolding a child.

"I know how I feel!" Oswald's voice finally raised and he lurched to his feet so fast the chair he'd been sitting in fell to the floor behind him.

"That's just it." Bird cried out, "You don't! How many times in the past did you try to tell me that you felt that way about me? Oswald, I'm not trying to hurt you -but this wouldn't be the first time you confused friendship with something more."

"I think we're a little past you trying not to hurt me, Bird." Oswald growled.

How dare she, he thought to himself, how dare she try and bring him down about something that just had him feeling as if were floating on clouds.

"Ed has been there for me in ways that no one else has-"  
He didn't know why he was even bothering to explain himself to her, especially when she wouldn't let him talk.

"Are you kidding me?" She shouted so loud her voice bounced back from the walls and vaulted ceilings; physically hurting her own ears, "What about me?"

"What about you?" Oswald hurled back, "You who never thought I was good enough."

Bird's jaw dropped as if he'd slapped her across the face.  
In all honesty, that act would have hurt much less than his words.

"Why, Bird?" He demanded to know, "Why is it that you get to find love and happiness; but not me?"

"All I want is for you to be happy. Oswald, that is all I've ever wanted for you-"

"But that isn't true, is it?" He blinked rapidly. Emotion burning at his eyes.  
Though he couldn't tell if it was his heart breaking or the kind of rage that burns so deeply if brings you to tears.

For years he'd been convinced that she was this one true love his mother tell him about.  
He'd watch her like she was the center of his world; and for so long she was.

She made him feel things he didn't know he'd been capable of.

And he'd loved her.  
But not in the way he'd fallen for and now loved Ed.

No, this was new. When he thought of Ed he felt like the sun was only shining upon him.  
Happy. Giddy even.

The sort of love one reads about in the books.  
Where you don't need to eat; because your heart is so full you want nothing else.  
You don't even want to sleep because you'd rather be awake to see the face of the person you love above all else.

Until Ed he didn't even know that he could feel love that way light, fluffy and warm.

It had never been like that with Bird.  
No, the way he'd felt about her was full of darkness. The kind where even he'd known it was wrong.

It was full of desperation and left him feeling cold and hollow.

He remembered the nights of sneaking into her apartment when she'd been asleep. Walking around in her footsteps and touching everything she'd touched; bottles of perfumes, clothes and sometimes even utensils out on the counter in the kitchen.

Finding near empty bottles of alcohol he'd bring to his mouth only for sake of his lips touching something hers had.

He'd stand at the side of her bed for hours at a time just watching her sleep.  
Even occasionally touching her face or her hair. Trailing his fingers over her skin and feeling the electricity beneath them.

He wanted her so close it felt like he could have cut her open and crawled inside.

Feelings so strong at times he couldn't tell if he really loved her or hated her.

But he'd always came back to the first option.

Love. It was love; even if it was wrong and brought out the worst parts of him.

He remembered the times he'd worked up the courage to come clean to her; to tell her how he felt and she'd shush him before he said too much.

To the point of physically putting her hand over his mouth to hold the words in because once something is said it can't ever really be taken back.

Her urgency to dismiss the time he'd kissed her and blame it on too much champagne.

He knew he wasn't a good person, but he'd spent so long viewing Bird as if she were on a pedestal.  
But the truth was that she wasn't any better than he was. In some ways, he believed, she was worse.

Not long after they'd first met, she'd asked him if he had friends and when he'd told her no -she'd said good. That if he didn't have anyone else then he'd never leave her.

People will often tell you who they really are; and she did, very early on.

"You're a terrible person, Bird." He said with a harsh sniffle as he rubbed the end of his nose.

"What?" She asked. Eyes wide in shock.  
She looked to be on the verge of laughing which only enraged him more.

"You knew-" He pointed a shaky finger in her direction, "You knew how much I cared about you all of these years and you didn't care. Not so long as I continued to adore you. That's what you really wanted. To keep me waiting in the background, always good enough to worship the ground you walked on but never actually good enough for you."

"I may be a terrible person, but you're delusional." Bird accused, "In what world have I ever, even once, treated you like weren't good enough? I have saved your life more times that I can count. It wasn't all that long ago that I took a bullet for you and nearly died."

Now it wasn't just his eyes that were red rimmed.  
She felt like someone was holding a lit match to her own.

"The truth, Oswald, is that I picked you time and time again. I chose you over everyone else-" She started.

"Liar!" He shouted. His hands balled up in fists at his sides. His entire frame trembling with restraint.

He wanted to hurt her. Hurt her just as badly as he felt she'd hurt him.

"I picked you over my family, over Fish -I even picked you over Harvey when we were together." She argued.

"In what world?" He scoffed, "You got engaged!"

"The night he proposed to me. The first time anyways." She recalled, "He wanted to leave Gotham, just the two of us and I couldn't because I couldn't leave you." A tear rolled down her cheek, "He started to give me a choice of him or you and I told him he didn't want to do that -because he wouldn't like my answer."

"But that's not good enough, is it?" Bird's voice cracked down the middle, like a tree zapped by lightening "The fact that I loved you more than everyone else didn't matter because I couldn't love you in the way you wanted me to."

"I wish you'd just left that night." Oswald bellowed before his brain had even caught up with his mouth, "Or never came back when you did go."

"Then maybe I should have just died the night I gave my life to save yours." Her voice lowered to a calmer tone.  
More heart broken than angry now.

"Maybe you should have." He echoed.  
His eyes cold. Voice lowered down to an indoor tone once more.

Oswald leaned forward, resting his hands on the table and hung his head.

He wasn't sure why he said it, he wasn't even really sure if he meant it.

Bird wasn't entirely aware of her actions as she picked up the fork from her place setting and stabbed it's prongs deep into Oswald's hand as he rested on the table.

With a cry of pain he jerked his hand up and stared at it on shock as the utensil still protruded from his flesh. Lines of red starting to run from the wound and onto the white table cloth.

He pulled the fork from his hand and dropped it to the floor before his eyes locked with hers.

There wasn't an ounce of remorse in their brown hues.

"I hope Edward Nygma rips your still beating heart from your chest and stomps on it right in front of you." Bird coldly said. Tone void of emotion, "You deserve nothing less."

His hurt and shocked expression morphed into something else.  
His vision blurred around the edges; colors turning red with rage.

Bird had only made it a few steps past him when he roughly grabbed her arm and jerked her back so fast her side slammed into the edge of the table.  
With a yelp of pain she went down, knocking the place setting, some plates and silverware down with her.

Within seconds she'd kicked Oswald's legs out from under him and brought him down with her.

Hitting. Scratching.  
They rolled around on the floor like a pair of children fighting over a broken toy on the playground.

Bird ended up on top again, dodged his attempt to break a plate against the side of her head, reared up and punched him in the face.  
The stones in one of her rings immediately split his skin open and blood beaded to the surface.

The ongoing power struggle ended with him back on top. Straddling her squirming body on the hardwood floor.

Only the fight had escalated. No longer was it a knock-down, drag-out fight.  
Not when he pressed a knife to her throat.

One he'd managed to get his hands on from the scattered mess on the floor.

Her eyes were wide as she stared up at him. Her breathing was heavy, chest rising and falling rapidly as he hovered over her.

She could feel the blade against her skin. The warm droplets of blood falling from his face onto her own skin.

"Do it." Bird whispered between shallow gasps

Oswald's mouth hung open. Fighting for air as he stared at his best friend. Her face bruised and bloody.

His eyes went to the sharp blade at her neck, following the gleam of the metal edge down the blade and over the handle to where he saw it was his own hand holding it.

In truth he didn't even remember even grabbing the weapon.

Slowly he raised up and leaned back. A grimace on his face when his knee on his bad leg buckled against the hard floor as he still straddled her.

Oswald started to move his arm, pull the knife away from her throat but she grabbed his arm and angled the blade pointing down right over her heart and said through her gritted teeth, "If you really hate me that much -then just do it. Kill me and get it over with."

A tear fell from his eye, the salt water mixing with the blood on his cheek.

He jerked his arm away from her grip. Tossed the knife across the room and got off of her.

Falling to the floor, he laid at her side. Both of them silently staring up to the ceiling; the only other sound was their breathing.

"Bird-" He finally broke the silence. Cleared his throat,

"Don't." She cut him off, "If you're going to say sorry, don't."

•••

Bird's secretary Charmaine got off the elevator on the fifth level of the parking garage and looked around until she spotted the familiar town car.

It was just moments before that her boss had called and asked her to meet her in the garage.

Opening up the passenger side door, Charmaine got in and questioned, "What happened to your driver?"

Bird had kicked him out outside of Oswald's mansion and drove off, but she didn't share that with her secretary.

"Oh my…" Charmaine gasped, "Oh my god! What happened to you?"

"I got in a fight." Bird answered.

"Are you okay? Should I call someone?"

"I'm fine."

Charmaine bit her tongue at wanting to respond and tell her she didn't look fine.

"I need you to do me a favor." Bird began, "You remember that day I volunteered at the soup kitchen recently-"

"With the Mayor, yes." She nodded.

"The place was crawling with press. I need you to get every bit of footage from that day. Pictures and video." Bird explained as she reached behind the seat and picked up the picture frame from the floorboard, "I need to know if this woman was there."

"Sure." Charmaine nodded as she looked down at the picture and then did a double-take at her boss before commenting, "She looks like you."

"I look like her." Bird corrected, "That picture was taken twenty years or more ago, but she doesn't look all that different."

"Good genes." Charmaine offered up.

"Yeah, lucky me." Bird mumbled under her breath before turning to look at her secretary and adding, "I need this done immediately and no one can know."

"Got it." She looked back down at the picture frame, "I'll come up with something to tell the new stations and papers to get the footage from that day."

"Thank you." Bird said; her tone low as she turned her head and stared back in front of her.

Charmaine reached for the handle of the door and then paused. She wanted to say something else, but she wasn't sure what.

This hardly seemed like the situation to try cracking one of those 'I bet the other guy looks worse' jokes.

Nor was there any point in asking if Bird would be coming into the office that day. Clearly she wasn't.

There was nothing she could say or do to make her feel any better and she knew Bird didn't like people to pry.

So instead she opened the door and promised, "I'll get this taken care of."

It was several minutes later that Bird was still sitting there when her phone started to ring.

With a groan, she leaned between the front seats to grab her purse from the back and take out her phone.

She didn't recognize the number on the caller ID, but she answered it anyways.

"Hello?"

"Hey, B."

Bird dropped her head back against the leather headrest of the driver's seat.

"Barbara, look I'm really not in the mood-"

"This call is solely for your benefit." Barbara said as she raised her martini glass to her lips and took a sip.

"Is that so?" Bird scoffed.

"Tetch was back at The Siren's a couple days ago."

When Bird remained silent, Barbara smiled into the phone, "That got your attention, huh?"

"What did he want?" Bird questioned.

"To talk about Jim."

Bird waited for her to go on, but it was clear Barbara was going to make this conversation as painful as pulling teeth.

"What about him exactly?" Bird played into the game to get what she needed.

"Oh, you know. The usual stuff. Everything, really. Family stuff, GCPD… the women in his life." Barbara's voice lowered some, "He seemed especially interested in that."

"And what'd you tell him, B?" Bird asked using their share nickname from back when they were close.

"About how I'm still the love of Jim's life. How he cries himself to sleep every night over losing me."

"Naturally." Bird sighed, rubbing her forehead.  
She could hear the grin in Barbara's voice.

"He already knew about you, so I just filled in the rest."

"The rest being…Lee?" Bird guessed.

"The most vanilla of Jim's choice in women? Little miss rebound from me?" Barbara laughed, "Of course."

"Anyways…" She continued, "He seemed interested on where you spend your Thursday mornings and seeing as how it's Thursday, I thought I'd give you a heads up. You know in case you wanted to skip town or something. I mean, I don't know what he's planning, but-"

"Why even bother telling me?" Bird cut her off.

"Hmm…" She hummed, drumming a finger on her chin, "Maybe because I remember how you were there for me when no one else was and I'm having a sentimental moment."

"Yeah, well, you'd be the first person I've talked to today feeling anything sentimental towards me." Bird replied.

"Ooh… dish, girl." Barbara leaned forward in her seat. Elbows propped up on the counter, "Trouble in paradise? Don't tell me you and Jim are on the outs?"

"Bye, B." Bird rolled her eyes, "Thanks for the heads up."

"Bye. Kisses." Barbara laughed, loudly planted a kiss on the speaker of the phone and then hung up.

Bird ended the call on her end and called Jim.  
No answer.

Instead of leaving a voicemail she hung up and texted him to call her back asap.

Then she did something she never planned on doing and called Lee to pass courtesy Barbara had done for her.  
No answer.

Bird started the car, but hesitated to shift into drive and leave.

The smart thing to do would be to just drive off. Not stop until she found Jim and they figured out what to do.

But apparently smart decisions were something she'd given up on the for day.

It wasn't smart to tell Harvey about her mom possibly being alive.  
It certainly wasn't smart to get into a fight with Oswald.  
It might not even be smart to believe what Barbara had told her.

She had no idea where Jim was or what he was doing. She could only guess he was too busy to take her call, but she knew that while she wasn't Lee's favorite person in the world -she was trying to stay on good terms with her and she would have answered the phone.

With the car still running, Bird took her phone out again and called Lee's number. Again no answer.

Picking another name from her contact list, she didn't count on getting an answer.

"Bullock." He answered.

"Hey, it's me." Bird said before getting straight to her reason of calling him, "I need to talk to Lee, is she in her office?"

"No…" He answered leaning forward at his desk, "She didn't show up this morning. What's going on?"

"Nothing good." She answered.

"You're telling me." Bullock glanced around and then lowered his voice from eavesdropping ears as he shared information he shouldn't, "A pair of newly weds jumped to their death their death over an hour ago and some kid just down the street said that Jim saved him from a speeding truck. Now we got a guy who's been hypnotized in lock up and all he'll say is he's got a message for Jim, where is he?"

"I don't know." Bird answered. Her heart started to pick up speed, "But you need to find him."

With that she hung up the phone and held her breath as she tried to make sense of what he'd just told her.

A married couple jumped to their deaths and just down the same street Jim saved a kid's life?  
Maybe Tetch gave him a choice of only being able to save one?

Slowly exhaling, she realized what that meant.  
Lee had already been taken and Tetch was coming for her next.

Jim, wherever he was, was still alive. He had to be because if this was about making choices then Tetch was going to make him choose between herself and Lee.

Bird knew what she had do.  
Well, maybe not had to. But she knew what she was going to do.

Making another call from her phone, she bit down on the side of her tongue and listened until the trilling on the stopped and a familiar voice said, "Thought you weren't speaking to me because I shot Butch?"

"I'm not speaking to you for a lot of reasons." Bird grumbled, "But this is important."

Zsasz's forehead lined. Something was wrong. He could hear it in her voice.  
The rushed urgency like each word might be the last.

"Where are you?" He demanded to know.

"The parking garage at work-"

"I'm on my way." He started for the door.

"Someone is trying to get revenge on Jim. Jervis Tetch." She explained, "They already got Lee Thompkins and I'm going to be next-"

"Bird!" Zsasz yelled into the phone when her end of the conversation was interrupted by the sounds of shattering glass.  
Then the line went dead.

"So, we meet again." Jervis gave a smile and tipped his top hat to Bird as she struggled against the grip the Tweed's had on her. Her feet kicking and skittering on broken glass from the window of her car they'd busted to grab her,

All he got in response was an angry look from Bird as they bound her hands behind her back and carried her off towards the van they'd arrived in.

Jervis picked up her phone from the seat of the car and followed behind them.

Bird was forced to sit opposite from where Lee was sitting on the floor in the back of the large van.

One of the Tweeds drove them away while the other kept a gun pointed at the women.

Tetch sat down on the seat he'd put int he back of the van for himself and looked between the two brunettes.

"If I'm correct there's no reasons for introductions." Jervis stated, as he looked down to where he held Lee's phone in one hand and Bird's in the other, "Tell me, Bird. Any certain reason you've been trying to reach James' ex-fiance this morning?"

"Girl stuff." Bird gave a shrug and made it clear she wasn't interested in playing his games.

"Well, I for one am dying to see what happens next. Gordon should be figuring things out very soon. I wonder who he'll call to warn first?" Looking between them and growing almost giddy from excitement he teased, "That might be some foreshadowing for how the day will end."

Lee and Bird stared at once another in silence.

Several minutes into the extremely uncomfortable car ride, one of the phones rang.

"Looks like we have a winner." Jervis held up Bird's still ringing phone.  
Before flipping it open and placing it to his ear.

"Bird, listen to me-" Jim frantically breathed into the phone as he rushed towards his car.

"I'm sorry, James. Bird can't come to the phone right now. Lee either for that matter… can I take a message?" Jervis replied.

Jim's pace slowed to a stop. His shaky breathing was the only sound left on his end of the call.

"No?" He continued to tease, "Good. Gotham Water and Power. Ten minutes."

"I need to know she's okay." Jim argued.

Jervis looked over to Bird in her bruised and somewhat bloody state, "She's seen better days, James."

Jim's brows furrowed. He had no idea what that was supposed to mean but he didn't like the sound of it.

"I want to talk to her. To know she's okay. Bird and Lee-"

"What you want means nothing to me." Jervis snapped, "Gotham Power and Light. Nine minutes. Tick-tock."

After hanging up on him. Jervis took a moment to compose himself before giving a smile in their direction and saying, "James sends his regards."

•••

"Listen to me." Lee pleaded with the Tweed brother who'd already secured a large cuff to one of Bird's ankles and was now knelt in front of her to do the same, "Tetch is a lunatic. He's going to get caught. The most you could hope for is a lifetime in prison. Don't do this."

"Dumfree?" The other brother called out from the door, "Let's see whats in the kitchen"

Once the Tweed were gone, Bird looked around the large bathroom she and Lee were chained up in together before commenting, "Nice place."

"Thanks." Lee breathed. Watching as Bird slid down the wall and sat on the floor.

"Did that-" She motioned to Bird's state, "Happen when they took you?"

"No." Bird shook her head, "I've just had an eventful day."

"Any ideas on how to get out of here?" Lee questioned.

"You're asking me?" Bird began, "It's your house."

"Yes, I'm asking you." Lee sat down on the side of the bathtub and added, "She; who I've seen take down an armed man faster than most of the cops in this city could. I'm asking you how do we get out of this?"

"You tell me." Bird cracked a smile, "She; who punched Edward Nygma in the face when he showed up at GCPD."

"You heard about that, huh?" Lee lowered her head, unable to stop the smile from spreading across her lips, "I just couldn't help myself."

"Heard about it?" Bird echoed, "I would have sent you flowers but I wouldn't want big bro getting jealous."

Raising her head, Lee looked over to where Bird seemed almost too content sitting there with a chain around her ankle and questioned, "Those two times you called me earlier. Tetch already had me and my phone, but you were trying to warn me. Weren't you?"

When Bird didn't answer, Lee said, "Thanks for trying."

Lee continued to watch her fellow captive as Bird sat still leaned against the wall, seeming like she was in no big hurry to go anywhere at all.

Blowing out an exasperated breath, she ran her fingers through her hair and looked around. Her eyes finally stopping on the mirror front medicine cabinet above the sink.

Lee eyed the closed bathroom door for a moment before going over to the cabinet where she began her search for something she could use to set them both free.

"Why'd you come back to Gotham?" Bird finally broke her silence.

Glancing over her shoulder, Lee asked, "What?"

"Why did you come back to Gotham?" Bird repeated her question; this time speaking slow and extra clear.

Turning around, Lee stated, "I didn't come back for Jim if that's what you're worried about-"

"I'm not worried about that." Bird was quick to argue, before nodding to the file in Lee's hands and pointing out it would be too flimsy to pick the lock. That she needed something smaller and sturdier.

"But seriously." Bird continued when Lee turned back around to find something else to use, "You and Mario could have moved anywhere and started a life there. Why come back to Gotham when you've already lost so much here?"

"Why did you come back?" Lee countered as she picked up a small manicure set from the shelf and looked at the various tools inside, "You could have started somewhere else too."

"No." Bird shook her head, "Everything I care about is here."

Walking over as far as the chained cuff around her ankle would let her go, Lee sat down on the floor across from Bird and gave a small shrug as she said, "You're right. I did lose so much here… but Mario got offered the position at Gotham General and I don't know…" Her voice trailed off. "Maybe I wanted to prove that this city didn't break me."

"This city breaks everyone." Bird simply stated.

"Give me that." She motioned to the manicure set in Lee's hand.  
Pulling a metal cuticle pusher from the set she tried it bend it in her hands to make sure it was sturdy enough to trip the mechanism inside of the lock.

"Try this." Bird said handing it back to her, "I'll walk you through it."

The next few minutes passed in silence aside from Bird's instructions on how to pick the lock and the metal clanking as Lee tried, failed at first but in the end was able to release the lock.

As it clicked loose and the ankle cuff fell to the floor with a small noise, Lee stared down in amazement, "Oh my god, it worked!"

Bird gave her a smile and questioned, "What's your plan now?"

"You break free-" She held out the cuticle pusher to Bird and added, "We'll lure one of them in here. Hit him over the head with something and run."

"Negative."

"Wait -what?" Lee asked, her dark hair falling into her eyes as she shook the manicure tool in her hand which Bird wouldn't take.

"We'll lure one of them in here and knock them out. Sure." Bird agreed with the first part of the plan, "Then you take his gun and make a run for it. But be prepared Lee, if the other Tweed or Tetch comes after you -you're going to have to kill them."

"What are you talking about?"

With a sigh, Bird rubbed her forehead, "You're a doctor. I get it, the whole Hypocratic Oath thing. Do no harm; whatever. But in this situation is you or them. So I'm just telling you to be prepared."

"No." Lee cut her off, "Are you saying you're staying here?"

Bird didn't answer out loud, but nodded.

"No!" Lee exclaimed a little too loudly, "I'm not leaving you behind."

She thought back to the day of the children's hospital benefit gala.

How Jerome had taken them both hostage and how she was so panicked she truly thought she might have a heart-attack. Yet, Bird was calm -up until the point they started threatening to kill off the people she loved.

"You realize we could both die today, right?" Lee didn't know how to make the danger they were in any clearer. Her eyes darted over Bird's disheveled, bruised and slightly bloody state.

Maybe she hit her head, Lee considered, hard enough that she couldn't properly react to the situation they were in. After all, this was about as friendly as Bird had ever been with her too.

"We're getting out of this -together." Lee confidently stated as she knelt down in front of Bird and started trying to pick the lock on her ankle cuff.

"I'm staying here."

"But why?" Lee questioned. Too focused on the task at hand to look up as she spoke.

"Jim." Bird answered honestly, "Even if we both get out of here and make a run for it. There's no guarantee that they don't already have him or that he's going to show up at any minute. So I'm not going anywhere until I know he's safe."

"Bird-"

"Lee." Bird cut her off, "Go."

Finally looking up, her eyes locked with Bird's and she realized this wasn't some brave act that she was putting on.  
She seemed mostly calm. Centered even.

She'd seen that look before -with Jim.  
When they were together there were times she'd sworn Jim had never seemed more centered than when he was running straight into danger.

He'd try and deny it or blame it on the job at times and in the beginning she believed it; but the truth was that there was something inside of him that thrived on the darkness.

"Wow…" Lee let out a heavy breath with her words, "You and Jim really are made for each other."

Bird's eyes narrowed scrutinizingly at her; knowing that wasn't meant as any sort of compliment.

"My, my." Jervis shook his head as he opened the bathroom door to find Lee free of her restraints and looked to have just been in the process of freeing Bird as well, "You two have been busy."

Lee scrambled to her feet and Bird stood up slowly.

"I…" He let out a laugh and motioned between them, "I expected this to go the other way." His attention landing on Bird, "That you'd be the one trying to escape."

"Now if you'd both kindly join me in the dining room…" He took his time looking between them. Wondering which one meant more to James Gordon, he smiled at them again, "Our guest of honor will be here shortly."

•••

* * *

 **A/N -Thank you guys for reading! I'm sorry updates have been so sporadic. Just know I'm doing the best I can with trying to get new chapters completed and posted.  
**

 **A very special thank you is owed to: xenocanaan, Love. Fiction. 2018, Shadow knight1121, AGBreads, ThatMysteriousSlime, SmellYourScentForMiles, xxXWolfsLullabyXxx, Havana, Munyue, Rasiel Hasu, DancingDorisDay and to the Guest who reviewed chapter 8.**

 **The support and kind words in your reviews are what keeps me going!**


	10. Welcome to the Tea Party

**X - Welcome to the Tea Party**

" _I felt a queasy mixture of relief and horror: when you finally stop an itch and realize it's because you've ripped a hole in your skin."- Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl_

* * *

 **•••**

Classical music played from a record in the parlor of the house. The sound almost haunting as it crackled through the horn when Jim made his way into the home Lee and Mario shared.

With his gun drawn, he looked around. Even with the late evening sun the room looked full of shadows.

As he moved closer to a hallway on the right, opposite from the stairs, he spotted someone.

One of the Tweeds; who'd switched out their wresting garb for a tailored suit and bowler hats.

Adjusting his grip on the weapon and not entirely sure what to expect around the corner, Jim pushed onward into the dining room.

At the table in the center of the room sat Jervis at the head of the table. With Bird and Lee seated across from one another.

"Welcome to our tea party James." Jervis greeted him. The other Tweed brother who stood by him at the table cocked the shotgun in his hands as a warning, "We've been expecting you."

When Bird turned her head to see where Jim was standing, he got his first real look at her.

"You son of a bitch-" He growled, gun pointed at Tetch, assuming the injuries she'd sustained had been inflicted on her by him or the Tweeds.

"Ah, ah, ah." Jervis clicked his tongue, "There's no need for that. Bird was like that when I found her."

"It's true." She admitted. Avoiding Jim's eyes as she spoke.

"Please." Jervis motioned to the only empty seat at the other end of the table and added, "Have a seat."

Jim walked towards the chair, keeping his gun drawn and stopped when he saw a place card sitting on the empty plate with his name written in blood.

Jim swallowed, "I think I'll stand."

"You'll do as I say." Jervis Tetch's voice raised, "Or things will get messy and by messy I mean both my friends will pull their triggers and then we'll have blood and brains all over this beautiful table."

The Tweeds were standing in place, both of them with a loaded gun pointed at Lee and Bird.

The table was set for a party. A tea party.

There was an antique center piece of a bubble glass clock. The finest silver and crystal to be found in the house was laid out at each place setting.

Small triangle cut finger sandwiches were on a spotless platter in the center of the table.

"Now, place your gun on the platter and have a seat." Jervis instructed.

One of the Tweeds walked up to him with a round platter containing a place card that fittingly read, "Gordon's Gun".

"Really?" Jervis' face started to twist from the almost friendly expression he'd been wearing to something darker, "After all we've been through today; you have to think about it? Not everyone here has to die."

Jim glanced over at Bird and then to Lee before his gaze fell back to the place card awaiting his gun.

Despite Jervis saying not everyone has to die; Jim knew the day could very easily end up with all of them dead.

This certainly wasn't the direction he'd expected his day to go.  
In fact, it started about as normal as any other day.

Bird had gotten up earlier than usual, stating she had a few things to take care of before going to work.  
So he'd went to a diner for breakfast alone and then it had been downhill from there.

Jervis had sent him on a journey. Making him pick who lives and who dies. Insisting that he was trying to Jim to see who he really was inside. That he was was going to drive him crazy.

There was no doubt that Jervis would kill Bird and Lee; or even both of them, without hesitation.

So Jim did the only thing he could to keep them alive and surrendered his only weapon before begrudgingly taking a seat at the table.

He had a plan; it might be a long shot, but it was all he had and so he needed to believe in it.

Ironically enough, that plan was Mario Calvi. Who'd rushed to the GCPD when he'd gotten word that Lee was missing at the very same time that Jim was setting off on a solo rescue mission, knowing that if Barnes and twenty police officers showed up on scene both Bird and Lee would wind up dead.

So instead the only back-up he'd brought with him was Mario. Who was going to sneak in through the basement where he said he had a gun.

"It's going to be okay." Jim promised both of them.

Bird glanced at him with raised brows before turning her attention back to Jervis, who was currently pouring hot tea into the cup at her place setting.

"Don't lie to them, James." Jervis scolded.

"Lee." He got her attention and handed her a cup on a saucer, "Would you mind passing that down to James?"

Silently, Lee took the cup and handed it to Jim, who noticed her hand was shaking. Yet she somehow handed it off without spilling any of the hot liquid in the cup.

"I must apologize for the hideous china." Jervis chuckled as he poured tea for himself, "Frankly, I expected more from Don Falcone's son."

With a glance up at Bird he commented, "Maybe we should have held this party at his daughter's place instead."

Picking up his own cup, Jervis proposed a toast to the table, "To good health."

"Think I'll pass." Lee stated. Staring down at the sandwiches on the table and starting to regret not running when she'd had the chance.

Here she was, yet again, being pulled into a life or death situation that literally had nothing to do with her -aside from her past relationship with Jim.

Bird didn't say anything, but also showed no interest in drinking the tea or playing along with the party.

Jim watched as the expression on Jervis' face started to shift again from the rudeness of the guests at his party.

They needed to buy time until Mario got there and broke in. Needed to keep Tetch calm.

"You know what?" Jim said, "I'll have some."

With that he raised the cup to his mouth and took a drink.

"Bravo, James." Jervis nodded in approval before he took a sip of his own.

"Now, I'd like to begin by telling the story of a brother and sister. Separated for years but who's love never waned." Jervis began, "Fair warning though; it has a sad ending."

Bird and Jim exchanged looks at Jervis began to talk of how he and his dear sister Alice had lost their parents at a young age. How the only family they had was one another.

How Alice had been taken by Professor Strange and Jervis had grown hopeless about ever finding her.

He told the story of how the last spark of hope in him had been ignited when he'd heard of the Arkham escape; and how he'd made the journey to Gotham to be reunited once more with his beloved Alice.

"But I couldn't find my sister alone. So I turned to this man, James Gordon, whom everyone said was a good man. An honorable man. And what did this honorable man do?" Jervis asked before he slammed his fist down on the table, causing all the chinaware to rattle, "He turned her against me. Poisoning her mind and then he killed her!"

"Does that sound about right, James?" He questioned.

"Sure, why not?" Jim sighed, leaning back in his chair some and starting to worry that something had happened to Mario along the way.

"Now, James…" Jervis shook his head in disappointment, "I get the sense you're not being honest. Though that's not surprising. Considering you've run from your true self every day of your life. But you can't run from this choice; the woman you love is going to die. I just need to figure out which one it is."

Bird and Lee exchanged looks across the antique bubble glass clock on the table between them.

"So!" Jervis loudly continued, "Let's review our options -shall we?"

"On the one hand we have Lee Thompkins." Jervis stood up and moved closer to where Lee was sititng, "Intelligent and kind. She thought she could save you from your darkness. Drag you into the light -and what did she get for her efforts? Hmm?"

Cradling his arms like he was holding a baby, Jervis continued, "Pain and sadness."

"Don't listen to him, Lee." Jim pleaded.

"And then!" Jervis loudly exclaimed, walking around the table to where Bird was sitting, "There's Starling Wayne, though she prefers Bird."

"My, my…" He continued coming a stop just arms distance away from her and clasping his hands together as he spoke, "Where to begin…"

Suddenly his face lit up as though he'd just gotten a thought; though the expression seemed to be more for just dramatic effect. Clearly he'd been planning this entire event out for some time -even what he'd intended on saying.

"Curious and curious-er, isn't James? How Lee thought she could save you and failed -yet you still think you can save Bird?" Jervis narrowed his eyes inquisitively as he looked between them, "Why is that? Do you think if you save her then somehow you, yourself, would be redeemed?"

The room was silent. A heavy silence that seemed to take up all the empty space and weigh everything down. The three still sitting at the table tried to pretend that he wasn't getting inside their heads; but he didn't miss it when Bird side-eyed Jim.

"Something to say?" Jervis leaned down closer to Bird when he spoke.

"I don't need anyone to save me." She abruptly said, unable to bite her tongue any longer.

"No?" Jervis held back another laugh, "Then tell me, why is it Bird that even though you refer to yourself as a criminal, you continually seek out relationships with the so-called 'good men'?"  
She caught a glimpse of him using finger quotes as he spoke from the corner of her eye; though she refused to look at him.

Bird didn't answer him..  
In truth, he did raise an interesting point.  
On that, had she not been in a life or death situation, might have stayed on her mind a little longer.

"So…" Jervis breathed when no one was willing to engage him any longer in conversation, "Those are the choices; your choices, James. And now it's up to you."

He picked the gun Jim had brought with him up from the platter and moved his arm back and forth, aiming at Bird and then at Lee.

"Which lady has your heart?" Jervis posed the question as he pointed the gun at the center of Jim's chest, "Who do you love?"

Lee quickly glanced between the other two seated at the table with her and then lowered her head. Staring down into the untouched cup of tea on the table in-front of her.

Jim looked over at Bird, who was sitting perfectly still -aside from her eyes scanning the table.

She was looking for weapon, he gathered. Bird wasn't going to just sit there until Tetch killed them.  
The only problem with that was how one of the Tweeds still had a shot hung pointed at her head.

One move.  
Jim's breath hitched in his throat.  
One wrong move is all would it take and they'd kill her.

His eyes fluttered shut. The memories of the night she'd been shot and nearly died flooded back. Painted the inside of his eye lids.

The echoes of her labored breathing. The rattling sound in her chest as blood ran from the corners of her mouth soon overshadowed the music from the record player.

" _You can't save everyone, Jim."_

Startled his eyes snapped open and he looked over at Bird.

It took him a few seconds to realize she hadn't said anything; not this time at least. But what she'd said to him that night still haunted him.

"You want me to choose?" Jim's voice wavered a little as he caught a glimpse of Mario peeking at them from around the corner, "Then tell your men to lower their guns. I don't trust them not to shoot me by accident."

"You're right." Jervis agreed, "They are stupid."  
With that he nodded his head and his men did as told.

"Now, you lower yours." Jim continued.

"And why would I do that?" Jervis let out a small laugh.

"Because I'll shoot you." Mario threatened as he made his presence known to everyone.

Lee stared at her fiance, who was pointing a gun at the man holding her hostage. She wanted to feel relieved -but his being there only caused her more concern. Now his life was danger too.

"You okay?" Mario asked as he looked at her.

She nodded, but the look on her face said differently.

"Well, well…" Tetch began, "This was your grand plan, James? Play along until Dr. Calvi could sneak in and shoot me dead? There's just one small problem -before you arrived I went down to the basement and switched the magazine in that gun with empty one."

Calling his bluff, Mario pulled the trigger -but nothing happened.

Mario locked eyes with Bird, the half-sister he'd only recently been reunited with and she stared blankly back at him.

An empty clip?  
He could read the expression on her face so clearly; so full of judgement -he'd made a fools mistake.

A amateur error she never would have.

"My apologies Dr. Calvi." Jervis said as his men pointed their guns at Mario now, "I only set the table for four. Dumfree, will you please escort the doctor to the bathroom. I believe there's still one chain in working order."

Lee scooted to the edge of her seat as she watched the man she loved be taken away at gun point.  
She'd already lost so much in her life and she didn't think she could bear losing Mario too.

"I'm out of patience!" Jervis yelled. Angrily flailing his arm holding the gun, "Who do you love?"

"You wanna talk about love? Lets talk about who you love -or loved. Your sister knew you were crazy and she was terrified of you. She hated you-"

"Enough!"

"-She told me what you did to her when you were kids. The thought of you disgusted her."

"Lies! Deceit! The story you tell is incomplete. She loved me!"

"Loved you?" Jim echoed, "She killed herself rather than be with you."

"No, she didn't… no, no." Jervis' arm holding the gun dropped a little. Tears welling up in his eyes.

"She impaled herself on a spike and died in agony because even that was better than having you touch her again-"

"No, no, no, no."

"I saw her, when she was dying, her face when she knew she was finally safe from you. She was smiling, because despite the pain she was happy."

"LIAR!"  
Jervis screamed.

"She was the only thing I ever loved and you sent her soul to heaven above." Jervis crossed the room and pressed the barrel of the gun to the center of Jim's forehead.

"That's right. Me. I'm the one you want. So let Bird and Lee go. Keep me, but let them go." Jim pleaded.  
They were both in this situation because of him after all.

Bird quietly scooted her chair back from the table some.  
Jim had Jervis distracted, so focused on him that she thought she could make a move.

Take out the remaining Tweed brother in the room. Get his gun and kill Jervis.

Lee's eyes slowly moved from where Tetch seemed just seconds away from shooting Jim in the head to where Bird was moving away from the table.

They were crazy, she thought to herself, both of them.  
Something inside of both of them had to be so mangled, so badly broken that they only felt alive when they were staring death in the face.

Bird looked at Jim one more time before she jumped to her feet, grabbed the tea kettle from the table and threw the hot liquid right in the Tweed's face.

With a cry of pain the gun clattered from his hands onto the floor -but before Bird could dive for it a loud gunshot rang out.

The blast shattering a light fixture above the kitchen island. Raining shards of broken glass and splintered wood down.

Jim's eyes were wide as he looked to where Dumfree was standing. He'd returned just in time to witness Bird burning his brother's face.

"I see." Jervis straightened his posture and watched as Bird had no choice but to take her seat at the table again or the next blast would be directed at her, "You still think there is a way out of this. But there isn't. A choice has to be made, Jim. I'm determined that you'll live on and suffer without your love as I have. Choose."

"No, I won't choose." Jim defied him.

"You will. You will. You'll certainly spill." Jervis argued.  
The revenge fueled look in his eyes grew darker with each passing second.

Jim looked over at Bird who was staring at him and then his eyes cut over to where Lee had gone back to staring down at the spread on the table.

He felt like someone had punched a hole through his stomach and then another through his very heart.

His plan had failed. They'd exhausted all their options.  
No one was going to burst through the door and put a stop to this.

There was a ringing sound in the distance. Deafening as the sound grew louder and any last traces of hope he had melted away.

There was no way out of this.  
Someone was going to die.

"I'll make this easy for you." Jervis moved back to his place at the head of the table, "On the count of three; instead of telling me who you love -tell me who to kill. Or I shoot both which would be such a thrill!"

The sound of his voice pierced through the ringing sound in Jim's mind.

" **One."**

Jim looked back and forth between them. From Lee to Bird and then back again.  
He couldn't do it.

How could he choose who lives and who dies?  
That would be like he, himself, pulling a trigger on one of them and he couldn't. He wouldn't.

" **Two."**

His heart threatened to burst free from his chest.  
A pounding started in his head.

He couldn't do this. It was impossible.  
But if he didn't pick one to live then he'd lose them both.

" **Three."**

No. He couldn't pick. He wouldn't pick.

"Kill Bird."  
The words came out of him fast. Urgent in a desert dry voice that didn't sound like it had come from him at all.

Lee's mouth hung open as she fought for air in the room that felt like all the oxygen had been sucked out of it.

Bird closed her eyes. Her head falling forward; dark brunette locks falling around her face, shielding Jim from seeing the expression on her face as he stared at her.

Silently begging for her to look at him. To understand why he'd just said what he did.

"Finally; the truth is revealed." Jervis' face lit up in satisfaction, "You chose Bird because you love Lee."

He pointed the gun at Bird.

"Very well." Jervis smirked; thinking he'd won.  
That he'd tricked Jim into showing his hand and now he was going to make it hurt.

If he chose Bird to die than that meant he truly loved Lee; which meant Lee's loss would be the one he couldn't live with.

So, Jervis turned towards Lee, finger on the trigger and just as he was going to put an end to her life, the front door was kicked open and shots range out.

The next few seconds passed in a lightning fast blur.

Bullet holes lined the walls.

Bird flipped her chair backwards to get on the floor and out of the path of any crossfire.

Jervis and the Tweeds disappeared out of the door Mario had snuck in through; making a run for their lives.

Lee raised her head from where she'd ducked down in fear. Her dining room looked like a war zone.

Jim's eyes were wide as he stared at the doorway to the room where Victor Zsasz stood; a gun in each hand.

Time seemed to be standing still for everyone who'd been at the tea party. None of them made a move to get up or say anything. Bird was still sitting on the floor where she'd landed.

Victor glanced over in the direction his targets had fled and then in one fluid motion, he crossed his arms and returned his guns back to their holders.

Crossing to the other side of the table he extended a hand and helped Bird to her feet.

"About time." She lamely tried to joke with her mouth as dry as cotton.  
She accepted the help and gave him a grateful expression as he helped her up to her feet.

"You didn't make it easy." Zsasz pointed out that she didn't exactly tell him where she was going to be held hostage; just that someone was coming for her.

"What-" Lee sputtered standing to her feet and nervously wringing her hands in front of her, knowing she'd just came mere seconds away from being killed, "What is happening?"

She stared at Bird, "All that time we were locked up and you didn't tell me help was coming?"

"I didn't know for sure." Bird answered honestly.  
"Barbara called to give me a heads up that Tetch was there asking her questions about Jim and me -and you. I tried calling Victor for help but that's when the Tweeds grabbed me. I had no idea if he'd find us."

"I…" Lee continued to stammer, "I'm…"  
Reaching up she rubbed her temples.

She felt like her head was going to combust.  
Without another word to any of them she turned and headed for the bathroom to check on and free Mario.

"Bird-" Jim started in a rushed voice.  
There was so much he needed to say.

Though he wasn't even sure how to begin; how to explain that even though the words 'kill Bird' had left his mouth -that it wasn't what he'd meant at all.

He'd only made it a step towards her when he was brought to a stop by Victor standing in way, gun drawn and at the center of Jim's forehead.

"What are you doing?" Jim and Bird both questioned in near unison.

"Kill Bird." Victor repeated the words he'd heard the moment he'd breached the house.

"Victor-" Bird argued.

"He said kill Bird." He repeated like she hadn't been sitting at the same table as Jim when he'd spoken.

"I know." She nodded, reaching out and putting a hand on Victor's arm and pushed so he'd lower the weapon, "I heard him."

•••

It was close to two hours later that Jim found himself hesitant to enter Bird's townhouse.

Bird, in her typical fashion, had fled the scene when GCPD had showed up and Jim had been at the police station answering questions.

But that was over now and here he was; standing on the top of the steps, eyes cast down.

The day had taken it's toll on him; like he'd aged thirty years in a single afternoon.

It wasn't just the muscle aches; it went much deeper than just the physical.

Bird was still alive. Lee was still alive. He was still alive.

And while those three facts were a win -he couldn't shake what he was feeling.  
Nor could he pinpoint exactly what that feeling was.

Something like loss?

Lee and Bird might both still be breathing -but in many ways Tetch had won.

He kept saying he was going to show Jim who he was really was; had been certain to drive him crazy and while Jim's sanity was still in tact, he didn't feel whole.

People were dead that day because of him. A newly wed couple had been hypnotized into jumping to their deaths because he'd made the decision to save a little boys life instead.

On his path of learning where Tetch was keeping Bird and Lee, he'd had another decision to make.  
A doctor or a businessman.

That was when he realized exactly how the day would end.  
Lee was a doctor after all and Bird held a high position at Wayne Enterprises.

He refused to make a decision that time and due to his indecisiveness both men had been electrocuted to death.

He'd realized what was waiting for him at the end of the horrid journey; that Tetch meant to have him choose either Bird or Lee -one to live and one to die.

He'd stubbornly been so sure he'd figure a way out of it. A solution in which not only would they both live; but one in which he wouldn't have to choose.

To go on living; believing himself incapable of making a decision like that; let alone saying it out loud.

He'd been purposely avoiding mirrors since the tea party; no longer sure it would even be his own reflection staring back at him.  
Or maybe the real horror of it was that he'd look into the glass and see himself physically unchanged; know that it had been inside him all along.

Closing his eyes, Jim pulled in a deep breath and finally reached for the door handle.

He'd only been delaying the inevitable. He'd have to face Bird sooner or later; look her in the eyes and hope he hadn't lost her.

Even though he'd gotten inside of Tetch's head and knew the person he told him to kill would be the one who's live was spared, she'd still heard him say to kill her.  
Those words would never be erased or taken back; no matter the meaning behind them.

Jim found Bird in the bedroom, sitting on the padded bench seat in front of the vanity.  
He lingered in the doorway of the room and watched as she was leaned forward closer to the mirror, inspecting the damage that had been done to her face.

He still didn't know what had happened to her that day. Both she and Tetch said he wasn't the cause of it.

"Hey."  
He said when all other words evaded him.

Such a simple word.

Bird's back stiffened some but she didn't turn to look his direction.

"Hey." She replied. Her eyes glued to the mirror as he walked further into the room and she finally caught sight of him in the glass.

He looked exhausted; sounded it too.

The day had been traumatic for them all to say the least.

She continued to watch him in the mirror and he watched her back; both waiting for the other one to speak, to see where they stood now that the day had come to a close.  
Now that they were alone.

"We'll find him." Bird finally spoke, referring to Tetch who was still on the loose.

"Yeah." Jim let out a rattling breath, "Or he'll find us again, right?"

"I tried. I'm sorry." He shook his head before his neck hung in exhaustion and shame, "I wanted to find him first -before anything like this happened."

He'd tried, but he'd also failed.  
If he couldn't keep the ones who meant the most to him safe from harm than how could he ever be a cop again? Charged with serving and protecting the people of the city.

"I know you did." Bird's tone was low, a swearing of a promise, "You did everything you could-"

"Yeah and he still got the upper hand. He won." Jim moved closer to the bed and sat down on the end of it.

"Did he?" Bird turned on the seat to face him, "Lee's safe with Mario and you're here with me, we're all still alive -that seems more like a win for us."

"Bird. You have to know-" He seemed to be having trouble finding his words again, "You have to understand…"

He raised his head, eyes meeting with hers.

Bird had a feeling he was trying to explain why he'd told Jervis to kill her; as if she hadn't already figured it out.

Clearly he was struggling to get the words out, she figured that had more with him having to admit that his choosing her to live meant sentencing someone else to death -someone he'd cared very deeply for.

And maybe if it were a different day she'd have made it easy on him and said ' _I know_ ', those two simple words really holding so much meaning. Letting him know she understood and he didn't have to say it out loud.

But she just couldn't.

Her heart was still broken from the fight she'd gotten into with Oswald earlier that day and her thoughts felt like tangled thorn bushes. The more she tried to escape them the more she got hurt.

She knew it wasn't fair to Jim, but she needed him to say it.  
To admit he'd chosen her. That she was the most important thing to him.

And so she sat in silence, waiting.

"If you knew Tetch already had Lee and was coming for you -why didn't you run?" He questioned.

Bird's brows raised. Give and take. A truth for a truth.  
Fine, she thought, she'd lay herself bare as long as he did the same.

"I thought I could save her." Bird admitted.

When Jim gave her a questioning look she could only imagine the thoughts running through his head in that moment.

It was then that she was struck with a thought of her own; how much better the words of her answer sounded than the meaning behind them.

Maybe it was because she'd seen Harvey early that morning and now a part of her couldn't help but think of how if he heard say that, he'd have smiled. Thought she was changing for the better. That she would have done what she could to save someone else just for the sole purpose of doing the right thing.

That was why she spoke first again. She didn't want Jim to get the wrong idea about it -about her.  
She didn't put herself into a dangerous situation to save someone she didn't really care much about.

"It's not near as heroic as it sounds. We both know saving people isn't really my thing." Bird said, giving a small shrug before admitting, "I planned on saving her just so you wouldn't have to. Because I knew even if Tetch just had Lee -you'd still try to save her."

There part she didn't divulge was how she was still hurting from her fight with Oswald that morning and she knew if she got hurt badly or even killed that day that it would eat away at her best friend; possibly ex-best friend, she wasn't decided yet.

"Bird-" Jim started with a sigh.

And after sitting there wishing he'd talk, she suddenly didn't want him to.

"And I get it. It's not like this-" She motioned between them, "Is the first relationship either of us have been in."

Her voice took on a slightly defensive tone when she added, "And you can't tell me that when Lenny's mob grabbed Harvey and we had to go after him that a part of you just wanted to save him so it wouldn't be me."

Jim leaned forward from where he was sitting on the end of the end of the bed. His arms resting on his legs as he let out a breath that seemed to nearly crumple him on exhale.

"You're right."  
He admitted.

No disagreement. No argument. No fight; he didn't have any fight left in him.

Bird's brows lowered. He was more beaten down than she'd realized.

The kind of broken that you can't glue back together because none of the pieces fit the same anymore.

"Jim…" Bird began.

"No." He shook his head, "You need to know… Bird, you have to know that when I told Tetch to shoot you that…"  
He cleared his throat, "That I was really…"

"Choosing me to live." Bird finished it for him.

He looked up to see she was standing now and he slowly rose to his feet to meet her.

"I know." She nodded. No longer needing him to say it out loud.

Actions speak louder than words after all and with two lives hanging in the balance he'd picked her to live.

What Tetch had been making him decide wasn't just who he loved more and who meant the most to him.  
Ultimately it was a question of who he couldn't live without -and the answer was Bird.

"I know what's really going on. Why you don't feel like today was a win for you." Bird stepped closer, her hands went to the sides of his face to make sure he heard her and didn't pull away, "But you're wrong. Those decisions you had to make today doesn't mean you're a bad person-"

"Don't they?" Jim questioned his eyes meeting hers.

For his entire life, all he'd done was try and make the right decisions. Tip the scales towards good. Save and help as many people as he could.

But today the scale fell the other way. People were dead because of the decisions he'd made. Families were mourning lost loved ones.

It wasn't like this was the first time his hands were figuratively stained with blood.

Even in the line of duty he'd had to make split second decisions where not everyone lived to see another day.

But it felt different now. Heavier even.

"You can't-" Bird started but Jim quickly shushed her as he argued, "Don't. Don't say that I can't save everyone. That's the same thing you said when you were dying in my arms that night and it's all I've heard echoing around in my head all day."

"Okay." She said a little too abruptly. Her hands falling from where they'd been placed against his cheeks.

Clasping them at her front she gave him an apologetic expression, "I'm not good at this -at being someone's soft place to fall. I'm all sharp edges and-"

"Stop." Jim pleaded as his eyes locked with hers.

"It's true." Bird argued.

Her line of sight dropped some. She hated these moments. The times when it became clear, painfully so, that she didn't feel things like most everyone else.

One of the many times in her life when she was forced to face how differently she was wired.

It wasn't something that bothered her often. After all, the world takes all kinds, right?  
And despite her actions often being at the disapproval of others, she usually prided herself on being able to make the tough decisions and call the shots that others couldn't.

But there were still times when she wished certain traits came easier to her; warmth and comfort, to name a few.

She remembered the way both of those radiated from her mom and how even though Martha Wayne was the woman who'd raised her, how very little of those attributes had rubbed off on her.

Instead, despite knowing her for very little time, Bird saw much more of her biological mother in her. Lilith's coldness came much more naturally.

"That's not true." Jim stepped closer when she started to back away.

"It is, I'm-"  
She she started to argue.

"I know who you are." He said, causing her stop her backward retreat.

"You sure about that?" She asked with a half-smile.

"I am." He stepped closer.

"And you still picked me?" Bird asked, with the same expression on her face.  
Acting as though his answers didn't hold near the weight with her that they actually did.

"I did." Jim nodded, "And I still would."  
"Over and over again." He promised.

His face move closer to hers, but she turned her head slightly and instead of letting him kiss her, she questioned, "Why?"

Jim's brows lowered at her question; more so at the look in her eyes when she asked -as if it were something she genuinely had tried but failed to understand.

Something was eating away at her and he was quickly gathering it wasn't only the hostage situation she'd been involved in earlier.

"What happened?" He questioned, gently taking hold of her chin and turning her face from side-to-side to take in the bruising on her face, small cuts and other imperfections that weren't there that morning, "You said it wasn't Tetch? So what happened."

"Uh…" She let out the breath of air she'd been clinging to. Her shoulders sank upon exhale. A letting go of sorts as she answered, "Oswald and I got into a fight."

"With who?"  
Was Jim's immediate response.

As if the answer she'd given already was only half the story. As if it were so far outside the realm of possibility that they'd gotten physically violent with each other.

"Oswald and I got into a fight." Bird plainly repeated as she waited for it to sink in.

"I heard you." Jim argued, "But who did you…"

There it was.  
The widening of comprehension in his eyes.  
Visible flash of anger darkening his eyes.  
Jaw tensed. Fists clenched.

"Oswald did this to you?" His voice was jagged like broken rock.

"It was a fight, Jim." Bird said with a small sigh at having to say the say thing all over again, "It wasn't one sided-"

"But he's the one that hurt you?" He pushed. Insistent on getting a straight answer.

Bird's head slowly tilted to the side at his response.

It was something she hadn't anticipated. The protectiveness. The outrage.  
She also couldn't deny it was nice to have someone who didn't immediately think she was to blame.

Whenever she'd come home with visible signs of injury when she was with Harvey, he'd of course show concern and anger, but the way he'd ask about what happened always made her feel like she was going to be telling on herself.

Not so much a 'who did this to you' as it was a 'what did you do to deserve this'.  
And before Harvey, it was her parents asking in nearly the same way.

Her extended silence, which Jim took as more of a reluctance to tell him rather than her inner moment of reflection, was the answer to his question.

Without another word he turned and started to walk away. Not seeming or feeling near as exhausted as he had just minutes before.

Sometimes the flames of rage are the only fuel needed.

"Jim, wait!" Bird caught hold of his arm before he moved too far away, "Whatever you're planning on doing; don't."

"I stabbed him." Bird admitted, when he still seemed determined on getting out of the house. More than likely to find Oswald.

When Jim spun back to around to look at her, Bird held up her hands and tried to lessen the blame she'd just took, "With a fork -and it was just his hand."

"What the hell happened?" He demanded to know. Feeling more lost than ever in the conversation.

It wasn't all that long ago that you'd never see one best friend without the other one.  
He couldn't pretend to understand the bond Bird and Oswald shared, but he'd never had any trouble in seeing just how deep those ties bound them both.

"Does it even matter?" Bird shook her head, "We're both hurt and we both hurt each other."

"You're what matters." Jim answered, moving back to where he'd been standing just in front of her,"Are you okay?"

"Are you okay, Jim?" Bird answered his question with one of his own.

They stared at each other in the silence of the room.

"Ask me in the morning." His tone was soft; his voice heavy with the second wave of exhaustion he'd been hit with.

Bird gave him a small smile and nodded in agreement.  
Today had been too much on both of them; they weren't okay in any sense of the word, but neither was willing to admit defeat.

"But we're okay, right?" Bird questioned, "Maybe not individually, but together -things are still okay with us?"

He leaned in more, his face closer to hers and she thought he was going to kiss her.  
Her heart felt like was dropping down into her stomach.

She needed an actual answer. A verbal yes or no.  
A kiss wasn't an answer. It could even be seen as the avoidance of one.

Then, as if he could read her mind, he stopped with his face mere inches from hers.

"We better be…" His voice was barely over a whisper as he slid his arms around her, "Because this -us, is probably the only thing working out in my life right now."

With a chuckle dowsed in relief, she leaned in closing the distance between them and pressed her mouth to his.

Beaten and broken separately, but somehow together they both made each other a little more whole.

"I love you." He said against her lips, "The answer to what you asked me earlier; is because I love you."

"I love you too." She whispered back.

And maybe that was enough, Bird considered -or at least right now, in his arms, it felt like enough.

Though she couldn't stop her mind from wandering into treacherous territory.  
To all of the times she'd told Harvey that love wasn't always enough and the fears started to creep in that maybe this time wouldn't be any different in the end.

Despite her best efforts to block out all of the things Jervis Tetch had said to them that day, his voice, his words still lingered in her head.

That Jim was trying to save her as a means to redeem himself.

There was no doubt he'd been trying to right his wrongs.  
Ever since the night he'd pulled the trigger on Theo Galavan, something collapsed inside of him. Gave way in the darkness and it had flooded in; left him desperately seeking the light to chase it out.

Her loved her; she believed that.  
But the seeds had already been planted and started to sprout roots and now she couldn't stop the doubts from blooming.

What if love wasn't really enough?

 **•••**

* * *

 **A/N - Ahh. I'm so sorry it's taken nearly a month to get this next chapter out. Life has been hectic to say the least and I've been working far more than I'd care to.  
But I missed writing and sharing Bird's story with all of you so I'm really happy I got this chapter finished! Also hoping the next one will be up sooner.**

 **As always, I want to thank everyone who has been reading this story and give a special shout out to: AGBreads, SmellYourScentForMiles,** **xenocanaan,** **ThatMysteriousSlime, Shadow knight1121, Munyue, Love. Fiction. 2018, Havana, xxXWolfsLullabyXxx, DavinaCFoxx2, and to the Guests who reviewed the last chapter.  
**

 **Hope you're all having a great holiday season!**

 **xx**


	11. Heads Will Roll

**XI - Heads Will Roll**

" _People were like Russian nesting dolls - versions stacked inside the latest edition. But they all still lived inside, unchanged, just out of sight." - Megan Miranda, All the Missing Girls_

* * *

 **•••**

Bird lingered in the doorway of the kitchen in Wayne Manor with the smile on her face growing with each passing second.

Bruce, unaware of his sister's eyes on him, was hurriedly buzzing around the kitchen. The island in the center of the room had several cutting boards laid out with assorted types of lettuce and other salad fixings in varying stages of perpetration.

The sink was piled up with countless bowls, measuring cups and utensils.  
She could smell fresh baked bread in the air and the counter had several baking dishes laid out. Some looked ready to go into the oven and others were still empty.

Bruce was in the middle of slicing up a cucumber to add to serving bowl of ever-growing salad when he finally caught sight of Bird.

"Starling." He greeted, his eyes going a little wide as he wondered how long she'd been there.

"Hey, little brother." She returned the greeting.

He watched as the smile never left her lips and she kept looking at him with an expectant expression.

"You look very nice." He complimented.

"Thank you-"

"Shouldn't you be on your way to the Founder's Dinner?" He added.

Her eyes narrowed playfully at him, "Trying to get rid of me? Why? Afraid I'll embarrass you on your first real date with Selina?"

"No." He cleared his throat but broke eye contact and tried to focus back on slicing the cucumber up in thin, even slices.

Glancing around the room again, she tried to joke, "You sure this is enough food for one night?"

He stopped midway through another cut into the cucumber, "It's too much, isn't it?"

"No." She quickly tried to assure him.

"I just…" He breathed, dropping the knife on the wood cutting board, "I want everything to be perfect."

Bruce pulled in a deep breath and closed his eyes as he tried to calm the fluttering in his stomach. When he finally opened his eyes back up he saw Bird watching him, with her hands clasped over her mouth in an attempt to hide the smile on her lips.

"Please don't laugh at me." He pleaded.

"I'm not." She cleared her throat and looked around the room again, "Here, let me help you."  
She started toward the sink to wash her hands but Bruce stopped her.

"No, what if you get something on your dress?"

Turning back around to face where he was standing she arched a brow, "I can cook, you know."

"I know." He agreed, "It's just… your sort of better at baking and I want everything to be perfect."

"Alright…" She breathed, holding her hands up in surrender, "I'll leave it to you then."

"Thank you."

Bird watched as he abandoned the salad ingredients and started to set the table.

"Um…" She started before stopping herself.

"What?" Bruce demanded to know looking up after he'd placed a folded cloth napkin in the center of a plate.

"It's just….you know… maybe you don't two forks." She tried to offer a helpful hint.

"One is a salad fork and the other is a dinner fork." He blankly stared back at her. He knew very well she knew that.

"I know." Bird nodded, her eyebrows jutting up some as she waited for the realization to hit him.

"But Selina might not…" Bruce's face fell some as he realized what was standard for a nice dinner for himself might make his date feel like she didn't belong there.

"Thank you." He gratefully said as he started to rework the place settings, "I just want-"

"Everything to be perfect." Bird repeated back to him.

He stopped what he was doing and looked back up at her. Clearly Bird had more she wanted to say but was holding back -which only caused him further concern as that was so unlike her to do.

"What?" He pushed.

"Real talk?" She questioned.

"Always." Bruce answered.

"Tonight isn't going to be perfect." She said, "You're going to have a good time, but it's probably going to a little awkward -and you're probably going to go to bed tonight cringing over something you said or did-"

Shaking her head Bird added, "But just remember that Selina is just as nervous as you are right now and that she's going to have a good time tonight too, and she's probably also going to feel awkward at times to -and she'll have trouble going to sleep tonight because she'll keep replaying the cringe-y parts over in her head."

Seeing the fear and regret on his face, Bird walked over and rested her hands on his shoulders as she offered a smile and promised, "But that's okay. That's normal."

"Okay?" Bruce sounded like she'd knocked the air from his lungs, "How is that okay?"

"Because." Bird chuckled, "You really like her. You care about her enough that you've spent all afternoon trying to make everything absolutely perfect for tonight. And she cares about you too. Likes you enough that she accepted the invitation. It's going to be okay."

Slowly he nodded.

"You sure you don't want any help before I go?"

"I'm sure." Bruce nodded.

Even if the night wasn't destined to be perfect in every aspect, he still wanted diner to be an event. Something he could take all the credit for.

"Wow…" Alfred exclaimed as he walked in the room, "Quite the operation you've got going on in here isn't it, Master Bruce?"

Alfred looked over to where Bird was standing before offered, "Need a hand?"

"No, I got it." Bruce said.

"Right…" Alfred said, "What time can we expect Miss Kyle?"

"Six, I think," Bruce answered as he tossed the salad forks he'd gathered from the table back onto the counter and got a mixing bowl out to start on the chocolate cake mix.

"We'll see, won't we?" Alfred said under his breath.

"She's coming, Alfred." Bruce insisted.

"Yeah." Bird agreed, "She'll be here."

"If you say so, Lady Wayne." Alfred glanced at her again.

He wanted her to show up and Bruce's night to be as perfect as the young Wayne had intended, but at the same time he didn't want him to get his hopes up only to have them crushed back down.

"She will." Bruce repeated before leading, "Oh, and Alfred, when she gets here…"

"I know." He nodded, "I'll make myself scarce. I'll give you all the privacy you need. Within earshot, of course. And the lights on."

Bruce avoided Alfred's gaze and side-eyed Bird, who was struggling to hold back a laugh when she added, "And the door open? Damn Alfred, why not just have him set a third place at the table and you can be the third wheel."

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" Alfred questioned her, "And going stag tonight? No Detective Gordon?"

"It's the Founder's Dinner." Bird reminded him, "Invite only; no plus ones."

"Ah, yes, that's right." Alfred agreed before pointing out, "But your dear friend the Mayor will be there."

"Yes, he will." Bird feigned a smile. She walked towards the exit as she plucked her small clutch bag up from the counter she'd laid it on and muttered, "Hopefully he'll get food poisoning."

Alfred watched as she left before turning to Bruce and asked, "What was that about?"

"I don't know, Alfred." Bruce shrugged.

 **•••**

"Cretin." Oswald muttered under his breath as he scrubbed at the side at the silk fabric of his tie with a white cloth napkin trying to lift all the spilled champagne from the expensive fabric.

"Is that any way to talk to your best friend?

Looking over he saw Bird approaching him. Looking flawless as usual with a less than friendly smile on her red painted lips.

"Bird." He let out a sigh with her name, "Good evening."  
He politely greeted before explaining, "I was speaking of the gentleman who bumped into me."

Bird glanced around wondering which other guest to the Founder's Dinner had caused the spill.

"Well, a friendly word of advice; be careful where you're hurling insults tonight. There are people here with far more pull in Gotham City than you." Bird offered up.

Though despite her words, the statement sounded anything other friendly.

It was just minutes ago she'd witnessed him speaking to the very member of the Court of Owls that had both she and her brother abducted.

"Ah, Bird." Oswald swooped a fresh glass of champagne up from one of trays a waiter was carrying past them, "This hardly seems your choice of venue -or event. I'm surprised you made an appearance tonight."

"I am a Wayne." Bird smiled, "Technically a Falcone too. My families have done so much for this city and the people in it. I've always had a seat at table -you're the newcomer."

Lowering his head some, Oswald chuckled and warned, "Careful, Bird."

"Why?" Bird took a step closer to him and his body tensed, "Am I getting under your skin? You feel like you might lose it? Close to snapping?"

When his eyes finally met hers; she dared, "Plenty of knives on the table over there. Afraid I'll push you a little too far and you'll snatch one up, press it to my throat in front of all these people and show the city who you really are?"

"Shut up." He hissed, clutching onto the stem glass so tight he thought it might shatter in his grip.

The still healing wound on the back of his hand from where she'd stabbed him with a fork the day of their fight started to burn like acid on his skin from beneath the fresh bandage.

"Shut up?" Bird's head cocked to the side, "Mr. Mayor, is that any way to speak to one of the biggest supporters of your political campaign? You do realize the only reason you're holding an office is right now because of all the work and support I poured into you, right?"

"Oh, Bird." He angled his head to the same side hers was tilted, "That nasty little mean streak is rearing it's head again. Of course, it always does when you don't get your way. When you realize all you'll ever be is second best."

Not giving her a chance to speak he quickly added, "We plotted to take over the crime world yet I was the one sitting on the throne. It doesn't matter how much credit you want to take for my being Mayor, not when I hold the title -not you. Though it's really nothing new to you, is it? Coming in second… not when your parents adored your brother in ways they never could you. And I'm willing to bet if someone was holding loaded guns to your heads that Don Falcone would choose Mario to live."

Bird's jaw tensed before an unsteady laugh slid out of her.  
Oswald's head tilted back with an unhinged laugh of his own.

Perhaps the only thing keeping them from trying to literally tear each other apart was how they were surrounded by Gotham's elite.

"Jim picked me." Bird stated once she calmed herself down enough to speak without seeing the room pained in red, "Tetch made him pick. Save me or Lee -and he picked me."

"Good for you-" He started to say, but it was Bird's turn to have the floor and she didn't let him finish.

"No underhanded tactics involved; because he loves me. Unlike you having to sabotage Nygma's new relationship. Tell me, how much does Isabelle resemble Kristen Kringle? We talking they could be related or dead ringer?"

"How did you-" Oswald's face twisted up.

"I saw you speaking with Kathryn earlier…" Bird explained, "Overheard how you made a stop on the way here to inform Isabelle of Nygma's time in Arkham. And you know…" She breathed, "I'd imagine he'd be pretty upset with you if he found out."

"Hmm." Oswald's unhinged laughter returned, "You wouldn't do that. Bird, if you start spilling my secrets then I'd be forced to start spilling yours and… correct me if I'm wrong, but Jim Gordon still doesn't know you're the one who killed Lily, right?"

He saw her jaw tense and he bit down on the side of his tongue with a nod.

They were at an impasse. A stalemate.  
Neither of them willing to back down and both capable of taking the other one with them if they fell.

Empty threats. Taking jabs only to try and hurt the other.

"I see no reason we can't be civil." Oswald took a drink of champagne.

"I'll try." Bird agreed, leaning in further as she centered his tie from where he'd been dabbing at it and left it askew.  
Once she was done, she placed an open palm against his chest and gave a few pats with a crooked smile on her lips before pointing out, "But Oswald, you always did bring out the worst in me."

"Miss Wayne."

Looking over Bird caught sight of an old friend of her parents. She smiled a greeting at them and seemed to no longer have time for Oswald as she casually said, "If you'll excuse me."

He watched her, roughly drinking down the last of the glass in his hand as he watched her effortlessly mingling with people he knew very well she didn't care for.

If they weren't currently in the middle of a disagreement he'd have asked more about this Kathryn woman, who Bird must have known, to have identified her by name.

He couldn't even remember how he'd come about talking to the older woman with sharp, one might even severe, features on her face.  
Nor was he entirely sure why he'd told her all about his intervening in Ed and Isabelle's new-found relationship.

At the end of the conversation he'd asked how she scored an invitation to the Founder's Dinner and she'd told him she came from one of Gotham's oldest families -and was also a part of a group that oversees everything of importance in Gotham.

Kathryn had parted with letting him know her cabal had -had an eye on him for quite some time.

Now he couldn't stop thinking about how Bird knew the woman.

After the bell was chimed to signal the start of the dinner part of the affair, Oswald made his way into the dining room and took a seat at the table diagonal from the seat Bird had chosen.  
He continued to watch her with squinted eyes; wondering what on earth his best friend was up to.

Bird tried to ignore Oswald, who was openly staring at her from across the large table. She glanced up at one of the waiters who was holding a tray with some glasses of a red wine. He wouldn't make eye contact back. Just stared straight ahead.

Turning in her seat some, Bird saw the waiter on that side of the room was doing the same thing.  
They didn't seem uncomfortable, just vacantly stared ahead -as if they were in a trance.

Oswald's brows lowered as he watched Bird seeming to grow more uncomfortable by the second.  
He followed her line of sight to the wait staff and noticed himself that they seemed to be acting very oddly.

The former friends locked eyes from across the table and in near unison they scooted their chairs back, both deciding not to stick around to see what was going to happen.  
But they'd only just gotten to their feet when sounds of gunfire rang out and the rest of the table erupted in terrified screams.

"What is this?" Oswald yelled at the man he'd seen earlier, the one who'd bumped into him and spilled his drink -who was now entering the room with a gun in his hand.

"I'm afraid your evening has been hijacked, Mr. Mayor." Jervis Tetch answered before his eyes cut over to where Bird standing as he greeted, "Bird, I must insist you take your seat."

Oswald looked over to see she did as she was told and he also backed up to his own chair to sit back down.

"I see the champagne didn't leave a mark." Jervis inspected Oswald's suit before brushing the barrel of the gun against his cheek and adding, "I'm so glad."

"For those of you who don't know me. My name is Jervis Tetch." He introduced himself to the crowd, "I promise not to take up much of your time. But the fact is that you are the heads of Gotham and tonight; the heads of Gotham will roll."

The Terrible Tweeds who always accompanied him now both cocked their shotguns and the waiters started to serve everyone a glass of wine.  
Bird knew why they'd chosen a burgundy to begin the night; to hide the blood in the drinks.

Jim had called her from the hospital earlier that day to warn her that Jervis had stolen Alice's body. Once thawed out both her blood and the virus within it would be viable.

"But first!" Jervis continued, "A toast. A drink to your health."

"And if we don't?" Oswald protested.

"Change, my friends is nigh. Drink the wine or else you die."  
He pointed the handgun at Oswald's face.

"Don't drink it." Bird spoke up.

"It must be poison!"  
A voice rang out several seats away from where she was sitting.

"You've all seen the news reports about GCPD investigating a virus in Alice Tetch's blood." Bird announced, "That's what he's spiked the wine with."

With a loud laugh, Jervis walked over to her with a small serving tray in his hand's he'd had a waiter bring in. One so small it might contain a dessert tart and not much more.

"I'll offer you a choice." Jervis explained, "One that I didn't give James. After all, we've both been hurt by him."

"What did you do to Jim?" Bird swallowed hard.  
It had been hours since she'd spoke to him.

"Drink." He nodded to the glass sitting in front of her.

"No." Bird stubbornly argued.

Her eyes cut back over to where Oswald was sitting as she advised, "Don't drink it."

When she went to turn back to Jervis, he lifted the lid from the small serving tray and blew the red powder right into her face.

"Bird!" Oswald gasped, jumping to his feet only to be pushed back down by one of the Tweeds and watch helplessly as Bird's body collapsed on the floor where she'd crumpled out of her seat, "Bird!"

 **•••**

" _Bird!"_

Bird's eyes slowly fluttered open, she thought she'd heard someone calling her name. A familiar voice from her past echoing through the open air around her.

With wide brown eyes Bird stared up to a cloudy night sky with a blood red moon.

Her head felt scrambled. She couldn't remember where she was or how she'd gotten there.

Nor did was she able to recall why she was on the ground.

"Bird."

The view of the sky was obscured by a shadowed figure that leaned over where she was lying.

"Liza…" Bird breathed as the other woman's face came into focus.

"What… what is this?" She huffed as she scooted away on the broken pavement beneath her. Small jagged stones getting embedded in her palms during the scramble, "How… you… you're… where am I?"

"You got dosed." Liza simply stated, taking a step forward and extending a hand to her friend as she questioned, "Remember?"

After she was helped to her feet, Bird looked around her eyes traveling back to the crimson hued moon and slowly the puzzle piece memories started to fit together in her mind.

She remembered the puff of red powder in the air.  
How it burned like acid in her eyes and stole her breath.

"Tetch…" Bird breathed shaking her head realizing this was all in her head. She was hallucinating, "You're not real. None of this is real."

Looking around the barren stretch of land, Bird turned back to her late friend and questioned, "Why are you here?"

"Maybe you missed me?" Liza guessed tossing her arms out to the sides and offering a smile.

Bird looked her over. She looked more like the Liza she'd first met. Messy dark hair, charcoal lined eyes, skin tight clothes complete with fishnet tights.

"Or maybe you still feel guilty about how I died?" Liza continued giving a shrug and a smile, "We're in your head. You tell me."

Bird's head dropped forward, shoulders slouched in defeat. Locked inside of her head was one of the last placed she'd willing choose to be.

"Here."  
She heard Liza say.

Opening her eyes, Bird saw Liza was extending her hand once more only this time there was a ticket laying on her open palm.

"You'll need this." Liza continued.

With an unsure hand, Bird reached out and plucked the ticket up which read 'admit one', before questioning, "What do I need this for?"

"Come on." Liza dropped her now empty hand, arm lazily swinging at her side, "You know how this works. You've got to ride out the trip."

Bird stared in silence as Liza raised her arm again again pointed out to the side.  
Slowly, Bird turned her head and followed the direction Liza was pointing. She staggered several steps back when she saw a large fence and gate that wasn't there just seconds ago.

Bird's eyes darted back and forth as she tried to see what lie beyond the gates, but a thick fog blocked her view.

"What's waiting for me on the other side?" She asked.

"Don't know." Liza softly said.

Bird tried to swallow down her fear; but her throat felt tight. Heart raced. She felt dizzy and there was a numbness starting at her finger tips.

"I'm scared." She admitted out loud.

When Liza didn't answer, Bird pulled her gaze away from the dense fog gathered around the gate to see her fallen friend, but she wasn't there any longer.

The only other being she was able to see was a dark hooded figure standing by the gate.

Pulling in a deep breath that left her lungs feeling like they were coated in ash, Bird forced herself to step closer to the figure.

They didn't say anything, Just held out a hand for her ticket.

A wave of sickness rolled through her stomach when she saw the hand was just bone. No flesh and blood. Just bone. Death.

With nowhere else to go and no other feasible options, Bird placed her ticket on the bone hand and watched as the gates slowly creaked open.

Each step she took into the fog felt like she was wading through water with her feet stuck down in wet sand.

The air was viscous.  
Gluing her clothes to her skin like stepping outside on the most humid day of the year.

By the time she'd waded through the fog and came out on the other side she felt like she'd been walking for years. Her breath was gone. Mouth dry.

Her legs gave way from under her and she fell to ground. Knees landing painfully hard against pavement.

"How ya doin' sunshine? You don't look so hot."

The voice sent a chill down her spine and she didn't need to look up to see who had taken over Liza's place as her guide through the hallucination.

"No…" She groaned, shaking her head back and forth, "No way."

When she finally gathered the strength to look up she saw Jerome standing above her. Dressed like a carnival ringmaster.

"Miss me, gorgeous?" He questioned with a wide smile and wink.  
White gloved hand extended to help her up.

"No." She repeated, only this time to answer his question.

Smacking his hand away she got up by herself and demanded to know, "What are you doing here?"

"We're in your head." He reminded her, "You must want me here."

"No." She repeated her new favorite word, "Trust me. There are a million other people I'd rather have here than you."

"Ouch." His face scrunched up in feigned offense.  
Hands clasped over his chest, sweat beaded across his forehead and he doubled over as if in pain from a heart-attack.

The pained noises he made soon turned into a fit of laughter. The contagious sound echoing all around her. Filling up any empty space.

Amplified as if he had a microphone and she were surrounded by speakers.

Standing up he pointed an accusing finger at her and named-called, "Heart-breaker."

With another boom of laughter he questioned, "Get it?"

"Yeah. Ha-ha." She sarcastically replied, "Real funny. Hilarious, even."

There was a loud ding.  
As if someone had managed to strike the puck hard enough on a High Striker game to ring the bell at the top.

Bird started to turn her head to see who else was there with them, but Jerome grabbed on her arm and started hastily skipping away, dragging her along with him like they were running late with somewhere to be.

"Ta-da!" He excitedly proclaimed as they wound up at the boarding entrance of a haunted ride attraction.

Bird stared as the empty cars moved along the exposed track; rhythmically.  
One after the other disappearing through the shreds of black fabric at the entrance.

Each time one entered, just moments later another would come out of the exit. Slide forward and jerk to a stop after colliding with the one on the track in front of it.

Walking up the short metal stairs, Jerome turned and faced Bird as he offered a up a twisted smile and said, "Ladies first."

The heavy feeling seeped back into her extremities and it seemed to take an unusual amount of energy to climb the grated stairs.

Another cart on the track exited the dark ride and slammed into the one in front of it.

Bird stepped into it and sat down on the built in seat then Jerome hopped in beside her.

Their car was fourth in line to enter.

She held her breath, watching as they moved closer to the shadowed entrance.

One empty car after another getting swallowed up until it was their turn.

Her clammy hands gripped onto the bar in front of their seats as the track clicked and their car rolled through into the darkness.

The shredded fabric leaving a feeling of spider webs on her face and hair as they passed through.

Eerie music played once they were inside. Her throat felt like it was closing up from the over use of smoke machines.

Monsters leapt forward from the shadows and manufactured smoke. Attached to mechanisms that jolted the creepy figures towards the track -just shy of having them collide with the car.

"Any idea where we're going?" Bird finally asked. Pulling her eyes away from classic grim reaper figure off to the right.

Jerome started patting himself down. Acting like he was trying to figure out which pocket he'd left something in.

"Hmm…" He hummed, "Must of lost our travel guide. Oh well, well just have to wing it."

When the car jerked to a stop on the track. Bird looked over to see that same shadowed figure she'd seen on the other side of the gates, hooded with only an exposed bone hand awaiting her entrance ticket.

"What's that?"

Bird turned back to look at Jerome when he spoke.  
He reached out as he added, "Behind you ear…"

Moving his hand back he proudly portrayed a single entrance ticket, clearly proud of and thoroughly entertained by his own magic trick.

"What's in there?" She questioned, "Facing my inner demons? Worst fears? Regrets?"

"Not sure." He admitted still holding the ticket out for her to take.

When she didn't make a move to exit the car, he scooted over, moving even closer in the already confined space and commented, "Isn't this cozy?"

Bird grabbed the admittance ticket away from him and quickly left the car.

Handing the ticket over to the gatekeeper, Bird was granted entrance to the first attraction.

She stepped through the pitch blackness. Cautious steps and arms outstretched to make sure she didn't run into anything -or anyone.

" _Hurry."_

"Bruce?" Bird yelled when she heard her brother's voice in the dark.

" _Come on."_

"Bruce?" She called out again, "Where are you. I can't… I can't see anything."

Her eyes were wide. Non-blinking. Searching for him but finding nothing.

Just a void. Emptiness.

" _Starling, what are you doing?"_

"Trying to find-" She started to answer until her hands finally landed on something.

Her fingers traced over the smoothed wood. Cool to the touch.

A door?

She felt for a handle until finally she grazed over a cold metal.

Fumbling with the handle, she finally got the door pushed open.

Hazy white light flooded out into the darkness and for a few bumbling seconds she was just as blind as she had been in the dark.

"There you are." Bruce said in a monotone voice as he stood in front of her, "I kept calling for you."

"I know." Bird blinked rapidly in an attempt to get her eyes used to the light and minimize the pain of her pupils constricting, "I couldn't find you. It was dark and-"

"I needed to show you this." Bruce turned and started walking away, "Show you what you've done."

When she was able to keep her eyes open long enough to get a look around she saw they appeared to be in a large freezer.

With an exhale she saw her breath turn to mist in the air and that's when she became aware of the frigid cold.

She wrapped her arms around herself and followed her brother deeper into the walk-in freezer.

"Why…" Her teeth chattered, "Why is it so cold?"

But her brother didn't answer. Just kept walking and Bird followed him.

Looking up she saw some meat hooks on an exposed track from the ceiling and nearly bumped into Bruce when he abruptly stopped.

"What are we doing here?" She asked.

"I needed you to follow me. To show you." He stated.

"Show me what?" She asked as she watched him pull a lever on the wall.

A mechanical whirring sound picked up and the track started to move the hooks along.

Bird watched as more hooks came through the thick plastic paneling covering an opening in the wall until the hooks were no longer empty.

Her mouth hung open, fighting for air amidst the horror her eyes took in as Bruce pulled the lever again the whirring stopped. Leaving her parents' dead bodies swinging on the hooks in front of them.

Translucent skin. Blue lips. Frost on their eyebrows and hair.

"Why?" Bird gasped, unable to pull her eyes away from them, "Why did you want to me show me this?"

"For you to face what you've done." He answered.

"I didn't!" She cried out, "I didn't hurt them!"

"You didn't hurt them?" He repeated back.

Shaking her head and scrambling to defend herself Bird clarified, "I didn't kill them!"

"But you did." Bruce argued, still speaking in a monotone voice. No emotion. No feeling. "They were sentenced to death the moment they took you in."

"That's not true." She argued. Tears burning at her eyes, "I loved them…"

"And that's what doomed them." Bruce explained. Staring straight ahead as he spoke, "That's what doomed them all."

He pulled the lever again and Bird watched helplessly as her parents' dead bodies were whooshed away, but that wasn't the end of it.

The hooks kept going, several empty ones until Liza's body passed them.

Then Fish.

"No. No." Bird gasped, "She came back to life."

"For how long?" Bruce asked, "How long for any of them?"

"What-" Bird started to ask but her question was answered before it was even fully voiced as the bodies of more and more people were soon on display.

Alfred.  
Harvey.  
Oswald.  
Jim.

Bird couldn't breathe. The frost covered faces whizzed by, blurring together as she stood helplessly and watched the parade of the dead.

Loved ones, both dead and alive -mixed in with faces of strangers, some she even recognized as people she'd killed.

"Stop." She pleaded.

Seconds passed like hours. More and more dead bodies were on display. Even with the cold to freeze them in time the scent of decay started to rise up in the air.

"Stop it!" A shrill shriek escaped her this time.

"Why?" Bruce asked.

"Because I can't take it anymore." Bird admitted. A tear running down her cheek and freezing against her skin as it went when Jim's lifeless body passed in front of her eyes again.

Obeying, Bruce pulled the lever and the whirring slowed and stopped until the track finally went silent. Now with all empty hooks -except one.

The one right in front of her.

When she raised her head to see who it was, she couldn't breathe. It was her brother.

Dead. Frozen. Eyes open and staring right at her.

"Bruce!" She yelled, looking back to where he had been standing.

"Do you understand now?" He asked.

She frantically looked between the motionless corpse and where he stood by the lever.

He opened his mouth to say something else, but no sound came out. Only a thick trail of blood. Staining his teeth and running from his chin.

Her body shook. Trembled and not from the cold as she looked down and saw the edge of a blade protruding from his upper abdomen.

"NO!" She screamed, running forward to his aide. But she was too late.

The blade slid down, slicing him open. Splitting him at the middle.

Tears streamed down her face. She couldn't breath.

Blood poured out of his open skin. Organs and insides started to spill out.

She tried to keep them in. Tried to hold him together, but meat kept spilling out.

His blood felt like it was boiling against her near frozen skin; it hurt, burned at her frost bitten flesh.

"Poison…" Bruce choked out.

Bird watched as the places she'd touched him started to rot.  
The air grew putrid.

The more she tried to help him the more he'd rot from the inside out.  
Like her every touch was toxic.

He started to fall backward and Bird rushed even closer to try and catching him, but her feet couldn't find traction in the all the blood and her legs kicked out from underneath her.

She fell. Her mouth open in a silent scream.

Falling and falling.

Like the earth had opened up from beneath her and she was plummeting it it's core.  
Arms and legs flailing in the air.

Until it stopped.

And suddenly she was back in the dark ride with Jerome.

Seated back next to him as if she'd never left. No blood on her hands or clothes. No traces of the horror she'd just seen. Nothing left aside from the trauma.

"You tell Brucey hi for me?" Jerome asked, wagging his eyebrows at her before he started to laugh and the car they were in rolled along the tracks.

"Shut up." She managed to say under her breath; still feeling like it was impossible to breathe.

"Don't wanna talk about it, eh?" He pushed. Staring at her as the car clicked to a halt on the tracks, "This is our next stop anyways."

"Don't forget this." He added handing her another single admission ticket.

Silently, she took the ticket and headed to door. The hooded bone guardian already there awaiting her ticket.

She didn't really want to go in. She didn't want to stay on the ride with Jerome either.  
All she wanted to do was wake up.

Once she handed the ticket over she hesitated before going into door.

Pulling in a breath she pushed it open, finally deciding whatever was inside waiting on her couldn't possibly be worse than the previous stop.

After crossing the threshold it took her mind a few moments to catch up.

The red tinted lighting. The smell of booze in the air. Traces of smoke.

A live band playing from the stage. Noisy chatter whirling around her.

Fish's club.

"Bird."

Turning around she smiled as she saw Oswald walking towards her.

"Your leg." She motioned to him as he moved closer without the noticeable limp.

"What about it?" He questioned, warmly returning the smile.

Blinking she shook her head, "Nothing. Never mind."

"Are you okay?" He questioned walking past her and she nodded as she followed him up to the bar.

Slowly climbing onto one of the stools, she looked around the popular dive. Her smile growing as she saw Fish's back from one of the front row tables. Butch protectively standing by their boss.

Pulling in another deep breath of the air, she closed her eyes and let herself be taken back to a time that felt more simple.

She watched him in silence as he picked up a newspaper off the bar, left behind from someone who'd been sitting there before them.

Shifting uncomfortably from her gaze, Oswald nervously glanced at her sideways and pointed out, "It's rude to stare."

Letting out a laugh, she happily clasped her hands then nodded, "I'm sorry. I just… You have no idea how badly I've missed this."

"Ah!" He called out as he finally located the movie listings from the theater and slid the paper closer to her on the bar and asked, "Which film was it you wanted to see tonight?"

"What?" Her brows lowered.

"I'll collect our coats and we'll be off." Oswald offered. As if he were in a separate conversation than she was.

"Oswald?" Bird asked but he walked into one of the employee only rooms as if he couldn't hear her.

Looking around she noticed the club was now empty. No one else was there aside from her.  
It was quiet. Too quiet without the hum of talking and laughter from Gothamites enjoying their night out.

Slowly, she slid off the stool and stood up. Looking around confused as she tried to figure out where everyone went without her.

"Ready?"

Turning around she let out a relieved noise to see Oswald had returned.  
She wasn't alone after all.

"Can't we stay?" She questioned with a hopefulness in her tone.

"Stay?" He shook his head and laughed like she'd told a joke, "No, silly. If we don't get going we'll be late."

"But-" She stammered as Oswald held her coat for her to slide into.

"I don't want to see a movie." She verbally protested despite letting him help her get her coat on, "I want to stay here."

"Look around, Bird." He stepped closer and lowered his voice as if someone would hear them, "It's closing time."

The lights blinked. Signal for last call.  
Time to gather yourself and belongings then head to the exit.

"I'm scared, Oswald." She openly admitted. She could feel the loss already happening as she looked at her best friend. If they stepped out of those doors she was going to lose him.  
Her voice shaky and low, "I don't want to be all alone."

"Bird, don't be ridiculous." Oswald smiled at her, "You're not alone. You've got me. You've always had me."

Her face twisted up as she stood otherwise motionless.

Oswald reached into the pocket of her coat and pulled out the dark gray knit hat she'd always wear in the winter.

Reaching out he pulled it on her head for her and repeated, "We've got to go."

The lights blinked again.

"Nothing makes sense out there." Bird pointed to the doors he was trying to move them out of, "Please Oswald, let's just stay here. If we go outside I'll lose you… you'll leave me."

"Impossible." He assured her, "I could never leave you. You are the most important thing to me, you know that."

"You say that now but-"  
She started to argue but the lights blinked again. The air grew colder.

"We have to go."  
This time it was she who said it.

"Right you are. Bird." Oswald agreed, offering up his arm to her in his usual fashion.

Looping her arm with his, she let him lead them towards the exit.

"Promise me that you won't let go." Bird pleaded.

"I swear I will never let go." Oswald vowed as they reached the doors, "You are my very best friend. I would rather die than live a single moment without you at my side."

Before she could respond he pushed the door open with his free hand. The frigid air swept in around them. Carrying a red powder with it.

Dust that coated her face and airways.

And she did the one thing she'd made him promise he wouldn't.  
She let go of his arm to wipe her face and eyes so she could see.

"Oswald!" She screamed with her eyes still pinned close.

"Nope. Try again."

Bird popped her eyes open to find she was back in the ride with Jerome.

Looking around them, pretending to be searching for someone or something, he pointed out. "Still just us."

With that the gears on the track ground and they continued through the ride.

"What's with the sad face?" He questioned.

"He's my best friend." Bird stated. Her eyes cast down as she added, "My family."

"Family?" Jerome repeated back, "What has family ever been good for?"

"You only say that because you killed your own mother." Bird reminded him.

"So did you!" He burst out with a laugh and Bird stared straight ahead, refusing to look at him.

"Ooh…" He teased nudging her side, "Don't like that I know your dirty little secret?"

"Lighten up, Bird." He bumped her side again, "It'll stay our little secret. Plus… they both had it coming."

"Maybe." She agreed. Her stomach dropped as the car jolted to another stop, "But do you ever regret what you did?" She asked.

"I'm not getting the crap beat out of me on a weekly basis." Jerome flashed a wide smile, "So I'm going to have to go with no."

"You're dead." Bird reminded him.

"Ah." He huffed with his head cocked to the side and accused, "Buzz kill."

Turning as much as she could in the confined space, Bird sighed, "I thought I'd feel better with Lilith dead, you know? Or if not better than at least free, but I don't. Not really."

"Do you think…" Bird began, "That maybe killing them was more symbolic? Like we were trying to kill the parts of ourselves we got from them?"

"Nah." He shook his head, "I just wanted the bitch to suffer and die."

Pulling in a deep breath, Bird stood up and exited the car.

"You'll need this." Jerome called after her. Standing up in the car and holding out another ticket.

When she took it from him he nodded towards the hooded figure waiting for her to pass through and stated, "Last stop."

As the gears to the track cranked back to life, Jerome took a bow and called out, "Catch ya in the next life!"

Bird stood in place watching until the car exited the attraction and any last traces of his laughter dissipated in the air around her.

"Last stop." She repeated under her breath as she handed the ticket over to the skeleton hand and crossed through the pitch black and followed where she saw light bleeding out from under a closed door.

She tried to open it, but it was locked.

"Hello!" She yelled out. Pausing for a moment before she raised her hand and started knocking.

"Patience, Starling." Martha Wayne said with a chuckle as she opened the door and recalled, "It was never one of your strong suits."

"Mom?" Bird's voice came out with a forced exhale, like someone had grabbed onto her lungs and squeezed until nothing was left in them.

"Come." Martha smiled, reaching out for Bird's hands and clasped them in her own, "Join me for a drink. It's been too long."

"I've missed you." Bird nodded as she let her mom lead her into the room and she looked around.

They were on the screened in balcony on the second floor of Wayne Manor.

It was dark outside, a cool night breeze blew in through the screens.

"I remember these." Bird reached up and touched one of the many strings of lights hung up in the enclosed space, "I remember when we hung these lights up."

"Yes." Martha chuckled, glancing up at her daughter before focusing back on the corkscrew as she opened a bottle of white wine, "The first year you decided you were both too cool and too old to go on that hike with your dad and brother."

"Sit. Talk with me." Martha offered out a glass of the white and pushed, "It's just us girls again."

Bird took the glass and sat down in the chair across from where her mom was taking a seat.

"So?" Martha asked.

"So…" Bird questioned.

"Tell me about him." Her mom laughed, "You've got that look. You're in love. Who is he?"

"Jim." Bird answered, "He's, uh… well, he's a cop. A detective."  
Her nose wrinkled, "Or he used to be."

Bird looked back up at her mom and added, "He's a good man. You'd really like him, mom."

Martha smiled widely and Bird's eyes fell to the glass she was holding in her hand.

This was something she'd always wanted. To sit with her mom and talk; connect. Bond. Not only as mother and daughter but woman to woman; friends.

To have an actual relationship with her that went beyond disappointment and feuding.

"It's really hard not having you around." Bird admitted, "Bruce has grown up so much these past few years."

"So have you." Her mom pointed out, "And I want you to know how proud I am of you for stepping up to be there for your brother."

"Maybe I shouldn't have." Bird set the wine glass down on the table, "I think I let him get too close. I think I poisoned him."

When her mom gave her a confused -nearly dumbfounded expression, she tried to explain, "He's got a darkness in him now and I know he's been through a lot; too much even. But I just keep thinking that you and dad radiated warmth and kindness and so the bad in him had to come from somewhere else. What if it's because of me?"

"No one is all good or all bad, honey." Martha watched her with concern, "We all have darkness in us. Your father and I are no exception. But it's the choices you make that count. If you dwell on that darkness then it's all you'll have-"

"Mom, I tried." Bird stammered, "I tried to be good. To do good. But everything blew up in my face. I have tried so hard turn things around and the more I fought against it the worse things got. Maybe I never really had a choice…"

"Of course you have a choice-"

"But do I? Did I ever?" Bird scoffed, "Nature vs nurture -and I don't think it's in my nature to be good. I claim you and dad as my parents; but that doesn't change the fact that I'm the biological daughter of a crime boss and psychopath."

"So it's tougher for you to focus on doing good, is that what you're saying?" Martha pushed.

"I just…" She ran her tongue over her lips, "I feel like any light that I had in me scabbed over and formed scar tissue."

"Then you fight harder." Her mom stated, "You learn from the mistakes in your past and make better choices for the future. Why do you think Liza was here?"

Bird's eyebrows lowered.

"You're still haunted by what happened with her and how you weren't able to save her." Martha stood up and walked over, extending a hand to her daughter and pulling her to her feet, "So, tell me why the self-proclaimed daughter of a psychopath and a mafia don would still be holding onto that, if as you claim, goodness isn't in your nature."

"Maybe it's just easier to pretend it isn't?" She added with a knowing expression.

The door to the room opened on it's own. What should have opened up into a more interior sitting room was instead a blinding light.

Bird squinted in it's harsh glare.

"It's time for me to go." Martha said as she leaned in, pressed a kiss to the top of Bird's head and started to walk for the light.

"Mom!" Bird yelled, "Don't go!" She scrambled after her into the blinding light after.

When she opened her eyes she saw Mario staring back at her.

"Can you hear me?" He questioned shining the pen light across her open eyes again to check for pupil dilation and response, "Bird?"

"I hear you." She sighed with a groan before pinning her eyes shut again.

"You're going to be fine." He assured his half-sister, "Tetch dosed you with a powerful hallucinogenic. If you were under much longer we could have lost you for good."

Bird cracked her eyes open again and glanced around the otherwise empty room, wondering who exactly this 'we' was he was referring to.

He watched as her eyes moved around before landing on the I.V. port in her forearm and explained, "Haliperidol."

"An anti-psychotic." Bird struggled to raise up in the uncomfortable bed, "Great."

With a smile, Mario asked, "Have you heard of a drug called Red Queen?"

When he saw the realization on her face he nodded, "Like I said, much longer and we'd have lost you. You and Jim are both lucky."

"Jim?" Bird's heart raced and she raised up in the bed more.

"He's fine." Mario held up a hand trying to calm her, "Tetch dosed him too. Here at the hospital actually. Left the bottle behind and that's how I knew what we were dealing with. I knew you had to have been given the same thing."

"What about Oswald?" Bird asked.

"Last I heard was that everyone made it out of the founder dinner unscathed."

"But he's not here?" Bird questioned.

After a short pause Mario suggested, "I can have someone call him for you-"

"No. She quickly cut him off with a forced smile, "It's alright. I guess I just thought maybe a part of him still cared if I lived or died."

There was a knock on the door just before the nurse pushed it open and said, "Dr. Calvi? We need your signature on some forms."

With a smile and nod to her, he then looked back at Bird and said, "Let's give it another hour. I'll have someone bring you some juice and crackers. Then you should be good to go, okay?"

Usually she'd have argued. Make it clear that she wasn't sticking around for longer to be monitored, but instead all she did was nod in agreement.

Even if she'd been given the all clear to go, she wasn't so sure she'd have the strength to do so.

Facing herself had never been something she'd excelled out and being taken on a trip through her inner psyche felt like it had drained all the life force from her.

 **•••**

* * *

 **A/N - Thank you all for reading! I really hoped you all enjoyed the trip -haha!  
**

 **I want to wish you all a great holiday season and since I'm not sure if I'll be able to update again before the end of the year - to wish you all a happy new years as well!**

 **Thank you to: AGBreads, Shadow knight1121, xenocanaan, SmellYourScentForMiles, xxXWolfsLullabyXxx, Love. Fiction. 2018, Havana, Munyue, Katniss789, DancingDorisDay and to the Guests who left a review since my last update.**

 **Thank you all for bearing with me as updates recently have been few and far between and understanding that I'm still trying my best to bring Bird's story to life and share it with you all.  
**

 **Your reviews always keep me inspired to keep writing and posting updates.**

 **xx**


	12. Sinner's Song

**XII - Sinner's Song  
**

" _Sometimes if you let people do things to you, you're really doing it to them." - Gillian Flynn, Sharp Objects_

* * *

 **•••**

Bird sat up on the side of her hospital bed and took a drink from the bottle of apple juice they'd brought her.

Setting it back down on the table, she looked at the several packs of crackers and then up to Jim as he sat in the chair across the roller table from her and tore open one of the packs.

He'd showed up at the doorway to the room, wheeling the IV stand with him just after Mario had left the room.

Since then a nurse had come in and removed the IVs from both of them while one of the techs showed up with juice and crackers.

That had been several minutes ago now and neither of them had said anything to each other. Neither of them was entirely sure where to begin.

After removing one of the crackers from the now open two-pack, Jim offered up the other one to Bird.

Biting back a smile she took the cracker with a nod of thanks.

"This is not the dinner I was planning on when I got all dressed up for tonight." She did her best to joke.

She succeeded in eliciting a smile and small laugh from Jim.

Silently, they continued to sit there together and dine on the crackers and juice they'd been told they had to finish before they could leave.

"Did-" Jim started to ask, but stopped himself.

"Did, what?" Bird pushed.

He shook his head and Bird's eyes squinted at him. She had a pretty good idea he was going to ask what she saw while under the effects of the Red Queen.

"Was your trip just as horrible as mine?" She spoke up with a knowing expression already on her face.

Looking back at her, their eyes locked and he nodded, "How much of it do you remember?

"All of it." She admitted and he agreed, "Yeah, me too."

They both continued to watch each other, each wanting to know what the other saw but not wishing to relive what they'd gone through.  
But they had to.

"Did you have, like, a guide through it?" Bird wasn't sure how to phrase her question.

All cards on the table, Jim admitted, "Barbara."

Bird's eyebrows raised as she asked, "Really?"

Jim was about to point out that it didn't mean anything beyond the fact that his ex was apparently capable of tormenting him even in hallucinations.

"Well, that shot down my theory." She sighed, "I thought maybe the drug caused us to conjure up thoughts of people who were dead."  
Most of the people she'd seen or spoke to while under the influence weren't among the living.

"Who did you see?" He asked.

"Jerome Valeska." Bird finally admitted after a pause.

His eyebrows went up, forehead lined at her answer, "Why?"

"How am I supposed to know?" She tossed her arms up, "Probably because we've got a cult of people obsessed with him in Gotham and they keep seeking me out. And please, your ex-girlfriend was in yours!"

"And it was awful." Jim pointed out.

"Yeah, well so was mine." She agreed.

"What did you see?" He finally asked.

"Bruce, at first, it was terrible. He was blaming me for everything bad that's happened." She stared down to the plastic wrapped crackers she'd picked up fiddled with the wrapper absentmindedly, "Then he got disemboweled in front of me. I was trying to hold everything in place, hold him together but… I couldn't."

A look of horror fell over Jim's face, if her hallucinations had been as lifelike as his own than he knew she'd probably felt the blood between her fingers; that it felt as real as life,

"I saw Bruce too." Jim admitted, "And Oswald, for some reason. GCPD looked like a war zone and I couldn't do anything. I couldn't save anyone. And then Bruce shot me."

Bird stopped messing with the plastic wrapper and asked, "Then what happened?"

He didn't answer her. Instead he picked up his own bottle of juice and took a drink.

"Jim?" She asked.

"I don't know." He glanced sideways avoiding her eyes, "It wasn't all bad, I guess, I saw you in the middle of it all."

"Did I shoot you too?" She wondered.

With a half smile Jim answered, "No, you didn't. We were…"  
Shaking his head he decided to just be honest about what he'd seen, especially since it felt like the entire conversation couldn't possibly be more uncomfortable than it already was, "Married."

"Married?" Bird repeated back, insisting, "Well, don't stop there. Go on."

"With kids." He avoided her eyes.

"Wow." Bird blankly stared at him.

The room reverted back into silence and he quickly realized he'd been wrong and the conversation could feel infinitely more awkward than it previously had been.

"Say something." He nearly pleaded.

"Is that what you want?" She questioned.

"Really?" He stared at her, "You want to have this conversation right now?"

With a laugh, Bird shook her head, "I'm just trying to figure it out. Like if there was some sort of construct to the hallucinations? You know, like it was all terrible to begin with. Maybe preying on deep fear or something?"

Jim shrugged.

"And then the middle of it was seeing something we really wanted, and then ended with a conversation with a dead parent or something, but yours was probably different-" She continued, but he caught her off.

His eyes a little wide with the admission, "That last thing I saw, before I came to… was my dad."

"I saw my mom." Bird explained.

Which in it's own rite was strange for her. Usually whenever she dreamed of her parents or the time she'd been shot and almost died, she'd only spoken to her dad.

Jim thought back to the vision he'd had of his father. They conversation they'd shared.  
How much the man he'd always looked up to and felt like he didn't measure up against had told him exactly what he needed to hear.

"You feel up to going?" Jim asked, "There's something I need to find."

Seeing the confusion set on her face, he said, "It was something that belonged to my dad. I know I've got it put up somewhere."

"Go on." Bird gave him a smile, "I need to speak with Oswald before I go home anyways. We got into another fight at the Founder's Dinner."

"Verbal fight." She quickly added when she saw the look on Jim's face.

He bit his tongue to keep from protesting.  
He didn't understand their friendship, but he knew that was who Bird considered to be her best friend and if going to see him would help her feel better than then he wasn't going to stand in the way.

"See you at home later then?" He asked as he got to his feet. He still felt bogged down from the anti-psychotic he'd been given. Exhausted from head to toe with all the day had laid on him.

 _Home._  
Glancing down Bird hid the smile on her lips before looking back to where he was standing and nodding in agreement.

Walking to the side of the table, he leaned down to kiss her and then stopped, realizing she hadn't told him all the details of what she'd seen.

"Hey." He stood back up, "You never told me what you saw in the middle of everything."

Her brows raised, eyes growing wide. She hoped he'd have forgotten about her lack of sharing the second part of her hallucination with him.

He'd possibly just admitted to her that what he really wanted was a future with her.  
Marriage and even kids at some point - how the hell could she look him eyes and tell him that while he was dreaming of that -she was sitting back in Fish's bar trying to decide with movie to see with Oswald.

She couldn't.

"Pretty much the same thing you said you saw." Bird lied, before trying to ward off any questions by coyly adding, "But I thought we weren't having that conversation right now…"

Getting to her own feet, she pressed a kiss to his lips and told him she'd see him back at home.

 **•••**

Bird hugged her dark jacket against herself as she made her way up the walkway towards the door of the Mayor's mansion.

A part of her was still angry at Oswald and another part of her felt bad for the things she'd said to him.  
She missed him and at the same time wanted to see him suffer.

What a complicated entity their friendship had always been.

She still wasn't sure what she was doing there by the time she made it to the door and rang the bell.

The door was opened rather quickly by Nygma; who looked just as surprised to see her as she was at seeing him.

It had just been moments ago that Isabella had gone and he thought maybe she'd left something at the house she'd returned for.

"Miss Wayne." He finally greeted.

"Hey." She answered, awkwardly shifting her feet and glancing around before asking, "Is, uh… is Oswald home?"

"Negative." He answered with a shake of the head.

She watched as he pushed his glasses back up on his nose with a single finger.

When she didn't make any further attempt at conversation or anything else for that matter, he cleared his throat and observed, "Forgive me for saying this, but you look… lost."

Stepping to the side he offered, "Oswald should be back soon. You could come in and wait."

"He probably doesn't want to see me."

"Of course he does." Nygma asserted.

Oswald hadn't made him privy to all the details of the falling out he'd had with Bird, but every since they'd seemed to have cut ties she was all his friend could talk about.

"I'll come in." Bird said with a slight sigh and an honest admission, "But only because I don't know where else to go."

She'd been feeling increasingly unstable since Jim left the hospital. So much so that on the way to the mansion she had wondered if they'd given her enough of the anti-psychotic medication.

Something felt off ever since she woke up and the feeling was only increasing at this point.

She pushed past him into the house and Nygma glanced at her before shutting the door and thinking that apparently she was lost in one way or another.

The next several minutes passed in an awkward silence as they sat on a couch together waiting on Oswald to return home.

He'd tried to be polite, offered her tea, coffee and even spirits -but she turned them all down.

"Can I ask you something?" Bird finally asked, her voice quiet against the crackling wood fire in the open fireplace. She didn't wait for a response, "When did you first know you were different?"

"Excuse me?" He turned slightly on the cushion he'd taken up residence on to look her direction.

"Don't act offended." A hint of a smile tugged at the corner of her mouth, "I've known you for a while now and you didn't fit -even before you started killing people. So I'm asking, when did you know you were different?"

"I don't know…" He blew out a breath and guessed, "Young? Probably as a child."

"It was the end of my sixth grade year at school." Bird recalled, "I had this friend, this girl who I called my best friend. For years we'd been inseparable. I'd always picked her over everyone else and she'd do the same -but then she made some new friends and stopped talking to me. One day in the girls bathroom at school I confronted her about it and she told me she didn't want to hang out with me anymore because I was weird."

He watched as her face scrunched up at the memory and he started to point out that at least she'd had friends when she was in school, but Bird continued.

"So I hurt her." Bird admitted out loud, "Bad, too."

She blinked, images of the girls bathroom at school painted on the inside of her eyelids once again. The stark contrast of the bright red blood against the pure white porcelain of the sink.  
Droplets on the white floor tiles.

The light reflecting off the glass shards from the broken mirror like glitter.

"One minute we were standing there talking -then the next there was blood everywhere. I'd repeatedly smashed her face into the mirror." Cocking her head to the side Bird recalled out loud, "She had several surgeries after that… but she never looked the same."

Nygma shifted in his seat, still not sure why she'd came there so late at night to discuss horrors of the past; with him of all people.

Bird remembered being scared after the fact, not so much of what she'd done but rather of the repercussions she was sure she'd face.

But she didn't. The girl had been so terrified that she never told anyone who'd attacked her.  
The first of many acts of violence she'd never suffered the consequences of committing.

"And then the Sunday after it happened, sitting down to dinner with my family and I…" She breathed, "I remember looking back and forth between my mom and dad and watching my little brother and I mean I always felt out of place there… but that was the first time I really started to understand how different I was from them; how much I really didn't fit in."

"Why are you telling me this?" Nygma cleared his throat.

"Because I felt that way for years after that. Like there wasn't any place for me; nowhere that I fit in and no one that I fit with, no one I could really call a friend." Bird explained.

"Until Oswald?" He guessed.

"He's my best friend." Bird nodded and with a sad smile added, "And strangely enough, considering how many times he's nearly gotten the both of us killed; pretty sure I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for him."

"Again…" He awkwardly chuckled, "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because; you're the one he picked." Bird calmly said, staring straight ahead of her out into the room.

"Picked?" Nygma repeated back.

Turning her head Bird watched him, looking for any sign of realization on his face; but the search came up empty.

He didn't know. He didn't seem to have any real clue of just how much he meant to Oswald.

And even as mad as she'd been at her best friend lately, Bird didn't betray his confidence and fess up to what she meant. It wasn't her place to do so.

Oswald would tell him; if and when he was ready to confess he loved him.

Clearing her throat Bird just nodded, "He doesn't want me around anymore, but you're around him all the time now-"

"I'm his Chief of Staff." Nygma reminded her.

"I don't just mean professionally." She pointed out, "As friends; he picked you over me-"

"You stabbed him." Nygma stated out, his brows rising as he spoke.

"I did." She freely admitted, "But he hurt me first."

Nygma's gaze fell to the open cushion between them. That wasn't the version of the story Oswald had told him, but that wasn't what was weighing so heavily on his mind.

"The point is-" Bird began with a breath, "You won, okay? So just pay attention to how you treat him because whether he wants me in the picture or not he's still so important to me-"

"Won?" He stammered, pushing his glasses back up on his nose, "What are you talking about?"

Again, he appeared entirely clueless to what she meant.

As if he hadn't spent the months on Oswald's mayoral campaign trying to constantly one-up her, and physically pushing between them for photo shoots.

"Are you kidding?" Bird turned more sideways on the couch to see him in better lighting, "You weaseled your way between us!"

He stared back at her in silence.

"You really weren't doing that on purpose?" She questioned.

"You… you thought I was trying to compete with you?" He asked; seeming genuinely thrown off at the idea.

"If you weren't trying to take my place then what the hell were you doing?" She rose to her feet, head cocked to the side.

Standing up, he motioned nearly wildly with his hands as he spoke, "Helping him with the campaign!"

Bird listened as he launched into a lengthy explanation of how he'd done everything he could to help Oswald not only win the election but believe in himself enough to know he didn't need to cheat his way into the local government.

How Oswald had been there for him when no one else had and he wanted to do the same.

"You really are his friend, aren't you?" She cut in.

Nygma stopped talking, stared back at her as if to silently ask what the hell she was thinking before that point.

Bird stared back at him with an indiscernible expression on her own face.

This was strange territory for her.  
She'd spent so long being Oswald's only friend that it had put her on guard about anyone else trying to get close him, since it usually only ended up with them wanting something from him.

"Well…" Bird breathed, "Playing well with others was never one of my strong suits, but for Oswald I'll try." Looking Nygma over she continued, "I'll have to learn to share."

Gathering her thoughts, she looked around to make sure she had all of her belongings and tucked her hair behind her ears while mumbling under her breath about how she wasn't sure Oswald still wanted her in his life anymore.

Without another word to Nygma, Bird started for the door.

He turned in place and followed her.  
The entire interaction had left him baffled; from her sharing a seemingly random story from her youth, to apparently not understanding he was actually Oswald's friend.

All this time he'd thought she was still cold to him for what he'd done to Jim the year before; when apparently she'd really thought he'd been trying to compete with her for Oswald's attention.

"He does." Nygma caught her right as she halfway out of the door.

When Bird looked back at him with a questioning look Nygma admitted, "He's always spoken of you often; but since your falling out, he hasn't stopped talking about you."

"Plotting revenge?" Bird arched an eyebrow with her question and a knowing smile toying at the corner of her mouth.

"At times." Nygma admitted with a small smile of his own.

 **•••**

"Is that what you were looking for?" Bird questioned as she walked into the main sitting room in her townhouse to see Jim sitting on the couch with an opened wooden box in his hands.

"Hey." He greeted as tired eyes met hers from across the room. Giving a near sheepish smile, he nodded, "Yeah. Took me a while, but I found it."

Crossing the room, she sat down on the couch beside him with her legs tucked up underneath her and faced him.

"How'd things go with Oswald?" Jim asked.

"They didn't." She said in an airy tone before explaining, "He wasn't there."

Jim's brows lowered upon hearing the news.  
"You were gone for a while…"

Bird nodded and didn't shy away from the eye contact, but she also chose not to tell him about the heart-to-heart she'd shared with Edward Nygma of all people.

"I used to have one of these!" Bird exclaimed as she reached into the box of trinkets and memories Jim was still holding and plucked up the rabbits foot key chain, "Mine was purple."

"A purple rabbit?" Jim chuckled.

"They're extremely rare around these parts." Bird played along with a small laugh of her own before she peeked at him from under her dark coated lashes and admitted, "I don't remember mine bringing me any good luck. Did yours?"

"No." He answered, looking down to where she was still holding the trinket from his childhood in her hands and admitted, "I honestly don't know why I still have that thing after all this time."

He tried to remember when he'd gotten it.  
Dig up any good memory associated with the key-chain he must have picked up as a child but he couldn't.

It must have been important to him at some point. Meant enough that he'd kept it tucked away after all this time.

"This is what I was searching for." Jim stated as he held out the signet ring he'd located in the box of keepsakes and added, "It was my fathers."

Laying the rabbits foot down on her leg, Bird took the ring from him, feeling it's weight in her palm for a moment before turning it to read the engraving on the face, "Dum spiramus tuebimur."

"While we breathe, we shall defend." Jim translated the Latin.

"Oh…" Bird near silently said as she handed the ring back to him and understood exactly what was going on, "You're going back to the GCPD."

"I'm ready." He nodded.

"I knew it was only a matter of time." Bird blinked, avoiding his gaze and forced a small smile for his benefit before honestly stating, "If this is what you really want then I'm happy you found your way back to it."

Despite Bird's insistence she was glad for him, both her expression and tone led him to believe the opposite was true and he was fairly sure he knew what was bothering her about it.

"This doesn't change anything with us, you know that, right?" He asked.

She looked at him.  
Of course it changed things.

When they'd first gotten together he was on the run from police trying to clear his name, then even exonerated of all charges he'd been more of an outlaw than a law abiding citizen.

"All I keep thinking is how much we couldn't stand each other-" She started but he cut her off.

"We didn't know each other." Jim pointed out and then added, "And neither of us are the people we used to be."

True." Bird conceded.

"You knew I was going back on the force sooner or later, Bird." He said.

"Tue." She repeated.  
Looking down as she started to smooth the fur of the rabbits foot in her hands.  
Anything to keep her hands busy and avoid eye contact with him.

Everything he said was the truth.  
She'd always known his time as a cop wasn't really over.

Bird pulled in a deep breath, still not looking up to meet his eyes as she asked, "Of course I knew you were going back to GCPD, Jim, I want you to be happy and for whatever reason being a detective again is something that makes you happy… but, did you ever, even for a moment, consider a life without it?"

"For a moment." Jim admitted as he sat the box down on the coffee table in front of them and caught sight of an old picture of his dad poking out from under some of the trinkets in the box and added, "But this is what I was born to do. Upholding the law is in my blood and honestly, I don't think I'd want it any other way."

For the first time in the last several minutes, Bird looked up at him and he caught a glance of an almost startled expression on her face; fleeting as it was.

If it was in his blood to be good; to uphold the law, serve and protect -then what was in her blood?  
To break the same laws he was going to be fighting to protect.

It was ridiculous, she thought to herself, being so worried about this already. He hadn't even officially gotten his badge back and it seemed like most of her criminal days were behind her.

She had a legitimate job. A career in helping the city's least fortunate.

"What's going on?" Jim asked.  
He could tell whatever was on her mind was far more than her concern about his going back to work and her usual distaste for police.

They room slipped into an uncomfortable silence. Leaving Jim teetering between his urge to push or giving her the time and patience she needed to say whatever it was swirling around inside of her head.

"I lied to you." Bird finally said.

The beat of Jim's heart started to falter.  
Anxiousness growing by every second she paused after the admission.

"At the hospital, when you said in your hallucination you'd seen a future -with us, I told you I pretty much had the same thing happen, but I didn't." She pinned her eyes shut, not sure how he'd feel about what she had to say next, "I saw Oswald."

Realizing she'd paused at the worse possible time, she looked at him with wide eyes and quickly back peddled, "Not in that way. Not even in the future."

"That doesn't exactly make me feel any better-"

"Just listen." She cut in, "I was back working at Fish's club with my best friend. And honestly, it feels like that was the only time in my life when I actually knew who I was and what I wanted."

Jim watched her as she spoke. He bit the side of his tongue to keep from saying the wrong thing, because at that point he felt like there wasn't a right way to respond to what she was telling him.

He wasn't even sure where the conversation was heading.  
Whether this was an honest attempt on her part to let him in or possibly even heading to her saying they needed a break.

"I don't understand." He finally said.

"I knew who I was." Bird restated as if it would make a difference, "I was a criminal. A bad person. And as awful as it sounds, I was okay with that, because the people I surrounded myself with were the same as me. It was the first time in my life that I felt I really belonged somewhere. I had a purpose-"

A burst of inappropriate laughter caught them both off guard and Bird cupped a hand over her mouth in an attempt to hold it.

"I know how entirely ridiculous that sounds because Oswald and I were trying to take over the city -but it was still a goal I was working towards. A purpose and since then, it's like I'm being pulled in so many different directions all the time and I never quite feel like the ground I'm standing on is stable." She admitted.

Slowly he nodded.

It wasn't her old life she missed so much as she missed the stability she felt. Even if it was working for a criminal organization.

"But look at all the good you've done since then." Jim pointed out how not only was her job was literally helping the city's less fortunate now, but she'd also taken initiative to push that even further with the shelter's she'd opened.

"That's the scary thing, Jim." Bird finally looked at him again, "I don't feel it. The numbers look good on paper, sure. I do the publicity stunts and shake hands and hear the thank yous and I pretend to be this person radiating warmth and compassion, but I don't really feel any of it."

"What if it's all for nothing?" She stood up, tossed her arms out to the side and looked around, "What if all these time and energy I've been putting into this is for nothing?"

"How?" Jim felt more lost than ever, "How could that be for nothing?"

Crossing her arms over her chest she stared at him until she finally turned around and put her back to him.

At first he thought she was shutting him out; closing down.

"Every time I try to be a better person, I get knocked down, Jim." She spoke to the other side of the room, "Maybe… maybe it's just not in my nature to be good. I mean look at where I came from, not where I grew up but where I actually came from my biological father is mafia Don and my birth mom?"  
Bird scoffed, shaking her head and not even able to find the right words.

"That doesn't matter-"  
Jim tried to say, but Bird cut him off.

"You just sat there and told me that upholding the law is in your blood." She curtly reminded him.

"I did." He sighed, nodding even though she still wouldn't look at him, "Bird you are not the only person who has darkness in them. I do. Everyone does to some extent-"  
His hands landed on her upper arms, strong enough to show he wasn't letting her go but gentle enough that he wasn't going to force her to turn around and face him until she was ready.

"You do." Bird agreed, sounding broken down as if she'd been up more week straight, "But not like mine."

"Look, we both went through hell today and I know you're not telling me everything you saw when you got dosed by Tetch, and that's fine. But whether you tell me or not, you can't fixate on the bad. That's exactly what he wants. To get inside of our heads, to-"

"Show us who we really are?" Bird finally turned back to face him, "I guess it worked, right? We did go through hell and you came out on the other side ready to get your badge back and I feel like a shadow; like I've got no light."

She watched as the confused expression on his face gave way to worry. Maybe even a hint of fear in his eyes.

"Forget it." Bird shook her head and faked a laugh. She shook her head, brunette waves falling into her face, "I'm exhausted. I need sleep and-and you need to see Barnes before he leaves for the night to get your badge and gun back."

She stepped closer, hands on his cheeks as she kissed him, catching him even more off guard.  
Then she tried to walk past him towards the stairs as if everything was fine and nothing was even slightly off kilter.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Jim caught her hand in passing and pulled her back until she faced him, "You can't tell me something like that and then shut down… what's going on?"

"I don't know." She smiled, "I'm too tired to even think straight, I don't even know what I'm saying. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you worry."

Jim stared back at her. He didn't say it out loud, but her sudden change in mood had him more worried than before.

"Go." Bird playfully pushed him towards the door, "Seriously, I'll feel better in the morning."

 **•••**

With a small sigh, Bird opened her eyes and rolled from her side onto her back; staring up at the ceiling fan for a moment before she looked over next to her where Jim was asleep.

It was official; he was back on the force.  
Well, he wouldn't actually be returning to work until Monday but he was a detective once again.

Barnes was happy to be getting his best detective back, Bullock was happy to have his old partner back and Jim seemed far more at peace than he had in months.

He finally felt like he was getting his life back on track, like things were moving in a forward direction once again with more purpose and meaning.

And then there was Bird, who despite doing her best to convince Jim she was happy for him, was now laying wide awake and restless after a day long enough she should have passed out the moment her head hit the pillows.

Jim was a cop; even when he wasn't enlisted on the force anymore, he was still a cop.  
It was a strong part of his identity.

But now he had his badge back and it seemed silly to know a metal crest on dark leather would make such a difference in their lives, but it did.

Despite not having acted out recently, Bird still considered herself a criminal, she was sure she always would.  
It was just as strong a part of her identity as being a cop was his.

Raising up some, she rested back against the headboard of the bed and rubbed her hands over her face.

As much as she tried not to compare them or the situation to her relationship with Harvey Dent -her mind just kept going back to how hard it was living under the same room with someone on the opposite side of the law from which she lived her life.

She remembered how tiring it was to constantly be on guard about what she said.  
Not to mention the terrible idea they'd came up with about her not talking about the parts of her life that he didn't want to know about.

It didn't work; living like that never does,

In so many ways she felt like she'd fractured herself into pieces in an attempt to make that relationship work and she'd vowed when it ended she'd never wind up in a situation like it again.

And so she wouldn't, she thought as she looked back over to where Jim was sleeping. She wasn't going to share her heart, her home and bed with someone she couldn't share the other parts of her life with.

Bird pulled in a deep breath.  
Monday was going to be a new beginning of sorts. When the new week started she would be the girlfriend of GCPD's finest.

As someone who usually tried to refrain from giving too much though to the future, she started to wonder what their life would look like years from now and found herself jealous of a part of the hallucination that Jim had-had.

The part where he'd told it was like he'd walked through a door several years into the future. They were married with kids.

Was that really in the future, in _her_ future?

Closing her eyes she tried to imagine what it might look like; would she still be working for Wayne Enterprises?  
What promotions would Jim get along the way; captain? Maybe even commissioner one day?

The vicious cycle of relentless questions and anxiety keeping her away was halted by the room illuminating softly with headlights through the window from the street below.

In the near quite room she could hear a car idling outside and then her phone buzzed from the bedside table. Unplugging the phone from the charger she flipped it open to see a text from Oswald asking if she was awake.

Glancing back at Jim, she saw he was still asleep. Then she slid out of the bed as quietly as possible and made her way over to the street facing windows and looking down to see a dark car parked along the sidewalk running in front of her town home.

Grabbing a robe from the hooks on the outside of one of the closet doors, she slid it on before sliding a pair of shoes on and heading for the stairs.

As she made her way towards the car, she watched as the driver got out and quickly went around to open Oswald's door.

"I didn't know if you'd be awake." Oswald admitted as he stood to his feet.

"I think I spent too long working nights at Fish's club." Bird admitted, her eyes falling to where he was holding a wooden box before pointing out, "And I'm surprised you waited out here and texted me. You used to just pick the locks and invite yourself on in."

"Yes." He chuckled, glancing down before looking back up to meet her eyes, "But things are different now, aren't they?"

He imagined if there was a noise in the middle of the night that Jim would be coming down the stairs with a firearm in hand.  
Not that Bird would need him too; but it was still a situation that Oswald wasn't looking to stir up that night.

"I heard Jim Gordon has officially joined the police force again." He brought up, unable to stop himself from adding, "How is that going to work out with your relationship?"

With a noise that sounded something like a laugh and the air being knocked out of her, Bird crossed her arms and added, "So… maybe my night-owl tendencies aren't the only reason I can't sleep."

Changing the topic, she questioned, "I assume you've talked to Nygma?"

"No." Oswald looked confused until Bird admitted that she'd stopped by the house earlier and saw him.

"I wanted to come see you." He quickly said, "I just didn't want to show up empty handed."

With that he extended his arms with the smooth wooden box in his hands for the taking.

Her eyes went to the bandage covering his still healing hand wound before she stared at the box a for a moment.

"Bird?" Oswald pushed it more in her direction until she finally took it from him.

Releasing the clasp on it, she slowly opened the box to reveal a beautiful revolver with white gold detailing and real diamonds along the handle; nestled in a bed of dark purple satin.

Glancing up she eyed him from under her long lashes and then looked back down to the gift.

"Oswald." She smiled, "It's gorgeous."

He beamed back at her.

Every single time he'd tried to say he was sorry for what transpired between them, she wouldn't let him.

So if she wouldn't allow him to apologize verbally then he'd do so in another way; in the form of a thoughtful and extremely expensive gift.

Holding the box in one hand, she cupped her other hand over her mouth and tried to hold a laugh in.

"What?" He pushed.  
The formerly warm expression on his face giving into a quick jolt of anger at thinking she was laughing at him.

"I'm sorry." Bird laughed, muffled through her fingers, "It's just… I stab you and you get me a gun for a present?"

He could still feel his cheeks were hot from the rush of rage seconds ago, but he was no longer angry with her as he laughed along.

"I'm trusting you to use this on your enemies." He smiled, "Not on-"  
His voice trailed off, he wasn't sure if she still considered him a friend after what he'd said to her -not to mention the physical act of putting a knife to her throat.

"My best friend?" She finished for him

"Yes." He was no longer smiling. Emotion was visible in his eyes, thick in the tone of his voice, "If you'll still have me, that is?"

Closing the wood box, Bird stared at him long enough that he shifted his stance and started to feel like a bug under a magnifying glass in the sun. Helpless but to be burnt to a crisp by the one watching him.

"I'm sorry." She sincerely said.

His heart dropped.  
He'd really done it this time, he thought, she was truly going to wash her hands of him.

"All you asked for was for me to happy for you." She breathed, running her tongue over lips, "And I couldn't see past my own jealousy to do that."

Oswald raised his head from where his posture had slouched from feeling his heart shatter all over again.  
Jealousy? His entire being perked up a bit; did she really admit that out loud?

She avoided his eyes and tossed out single shoulder shrug, "I didn't want to share." Bird continued to admit, "You were always mine and then suddenly Edward Nygma was in the picture and I didn't like it."

 _Mine._  
The word echoed over in his head.

The very same term he'd always use when it came to her; both in his own thinking and out loud to others. He'd always declared she was his, as if she was something to own -he'd never quite allowed himself to believe in some ways she felt the same about him.

"I never should have said what I did, Bird." He was quick to throw in his own apologies and regrets now, "I was awful to you when you've been the best friend that anyone could ask for."

"It's okay-"  
The words came out automatically.

"Not it isn't." He corrected.

"It's really not." Bird agreed, "For either of us. The things we said and ways we hurt each other…"

Her voice trailed off and they stared at one another in the streetlights; both sets of eyes glistening.

For hardened criminals, they were both far more emotional beings than they let on, especially around each other.

A stabbing pain jolted through his chest. Even after apologizing and bearing gifts, Oswald still felt bad for what he'd said to her. There were still scattered bruises on her face from the fight they'd had and he'd never forget the way the handle of the knife felt in his hand with the blade pressed against the delicate skin of her neck.

And for a moment, in the blinding red rage at the time, he considered it -maybe even wondered what it would have felt like to kill her, to not only know she'd never be able to hurt him again; but to know he'd caused it himself.

That she'd never truly leave him then; taking her life away would have made her a part of him forever.

Picking up where she left off, her voice was hoarse and the words startled him, almost as if she could have been reading his thoughts, "Sick, isn't it? How capable we are of hurting the people closest to us?"

Earlier that night, Bird had opened up to Nygma about the girl she'd hurt back in middle school. The girl she'd called her best friend at the time.

As close as they were, she could hurt her in other ways. Spread her secrets, said the things that would have tore her down at the time -but she didn't.  
Bird had wanted to see the destruction up close, she wanted to watch her bleed.

Just like when she'd stuck the fork into Oswald's hand and watched the blood spill out on the pristine white tablecloth.  
She knew the words to say to cut him deeper than any weapon could reach, and she did knowingly tear him down in that way too, but it wasn't enough.

As much as she cared about him; she wanted to watch him bleed too.

"What happens now?" Oswald questioned.

"I don't know." Bird answered, "Move forward I guess?"

"You know-" She sucked in a breath that felt like it burnt her lungs, "When I was under the hallucinogens earlier tonight, I saw you. We were working back at Fish's club. Sitting at the bar trying to figure out which movie we were going to see after work-"

"I get nostalgic for those days too." He admitted.

"Right?" Her head cocked to the side and she nodded, "Sometimes I feel like I'd give anything to go back to those days."

"As do I." Oswald agreed with an admission of his own.

His eyes drifted past her to the townhouse she'd emerged from several minutes ago, his eyes traveling up the aged brick until he caught sight of something. Squinting in the lighting he realized it was someone at an upstairs window.

Bird followed her friend's line of sight and looked over her shoulder.

"Jim's awake." Bird pointed out the obvious. Then feeling the need to explain further as to why he was spying on them she added, "I said some things earlier tonight. I think I startled him, he's worried about me."

It also hadn't helped matters that he was fully aware of the physical altercation between them; he just didn't know how far it had went.

Oswald's eyes dropped from where Jim was watching them with a realization of just how drastically different their lives were now compared to how things used to be.

"We can't ever go back." Oswald stated but it sounded like a question, "Our only choice is a forward motion, we'll never be able to go back to those days we think of so fondly."

Bird blinked rapidly, the stinging in her eyes threatening to spill a few tears she didn't want to shed, "Remember when we were so convinced nothing would ever change with us?"

"What a foolish thought." Oswald cleared his throat and fought to keep his own emotions from taking over.

Bird softly smiled and nodded in agreement. They had been fools to think that. So idealistic with no idea what the future would hold for either of them.

"You're still my best friend." Bird answered what he'd asked earlier and then questioned, "We'll make this work, right?"

"Always." He vowed.

They stared at each other again, neither of them saying it but both wondering in silence if that was also a foolish thought.

"I better get back inside." Bird said as she took a couple steps away from him before stopping and saying, "I don't know if he loves you the same way love him; but Ed does care about you."

Oswald's face lit up some. A fluttering of hope came to life in his stomach at her words.

Her words might have left him feeling a bit more relieved if something else hadn't been weighing so heavily on him.

"Bird?" Oswald walked closer, "There is one thing I don't understand. Why didn't you stop me? That day, the flight… the knife…" His voice lowered some, "I could have killed you."

"Because…" She breathed, "It would have completely destroyed you. I might have died -but you would never have come back from that. Killing me would have eaten you alive."

With that she stepped forward pressed a small kiss to his cheek and then went back inside of the house, leaving Oswald standing frozen in place.

She was right, there was no point in trying to deny that.  
And while her words should have chilled him to his very core, it had stirred something else in him.

A feeling he hadn't associated with her in quite sometime.  
A tinge of giddiness? A bit of pride?

He glanced back up to the now empty window where Jim had been keeping an eye on them and smiled to himself triumphantly.

Even with all the changes she'd been undergone in the recent years and all the times he'd felt disappointed in her and the choices she made -it once again seemed abundantly clear that at her core she was still the person who'd meant the most to him.

In spite of everything she was still Bird, still _his_ Bird -and that felt like a victory.

 **•••**

* * *

 **A/N -First off;** **I'd like to thank: Love. Fiction. 2019, AGBreads, ThatMysteriousSlime, Shadow knight1121, SmellYourScentForMiles, Rasiel Hasu, Munyue, Havana, xxXWolfsLullabyXxx, and DancingDorisDay for reviewing the last chapter. I appreciate it so much!  
**

 **Ahh, guys I am so sorry for how long it's taken for me to get this chapter done and posted! I've had parts of it done for over a month, but over all this took a lot out of me.  
Especially the ending scene with her and Oswald; I really wanted to get it perfect and wanted it to do them both and their twisted friendship justice.  
And then I also struggled getting through Bird's talk with Jim. Ugh, seriously this chapter kicked my ass.**

 **Anyways, show of hands, who is still with me? Haha**

 **I hope you all thoroughly enjoyed the long over due update and are excited for the rest of the story!  
**

 **I'd really love if you'd take a few moments to let me know your thoughts on the chapter.**


	13. The Greater Good

**XIII - The Greater Good**

" _I often don't say things out loud, even when I should. I contain and compartmentalize to a disturbing degree: In my belly-basement are hundreds of bottles of rage, despair, fear, but you'd never guess from looking at me." - Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl_

* * *

 **•••**

Jim squinted in the early morning sunlight shining through the curtains of the room. In his groggy state it took him a few moments to remember that today was his first official day back with the GCPD.

Throwing his arm out to the side he grabbed up his phone from the nightstand and flipped it open. His eyebrows lowered when he saw it was currently about ten minutes past the time he was sure he set an alarm for.

In fact, he'd double checked the alarm right before he'd fallen asleep. With it being his first day back on the job he didn't want to show up late.  
He'd been away from a steady schedule for so long that he was going to have get back into a routine of waking up at a certain time daily once again.

Raising up some he looked past where Bird was sleeping to see her phone also laying on her nightstand, but he hadn't heard her alarms go off either.

It was then that it hit him; she'd must have gotten up at some point and disabled all of their alarms.  
No doubt hoping he'd over sleep long enough that it would be pointless to go into work that day.

She'd repeatedly told him she was happy for him that he finally felt like going back to work, but all of her actions seemed to point the other direction.

It was over dinner Friday night that she'd started suggesting they take off the next week on a vacation; as if she'd innocently forgotten he was returning to work on Monday.

Then he'd spent several hours on Saturday searching for his badge, which Bird swore she had no idea where it had gone. He'd finally found it inside a large decorative vase near the mantle.  
An impossible spot for it to wind up there on it's own, but Bird wouldn't admit she'd hid it.

Both of those days had been better than Sunday though.  
Yesterday Jim had woke up in the house alone. Bird was nowhere to be found and she wouldn't answer a single one of his calls.

She'd didn't return home until much later that night and when he asked where she'd been all she'd tell him was that she'd spent the day with her best friend.

When Jim had pointed out it would have been nice if she'd left a note or maybe answered one of his many phone calls to let him know she was at least okay and hadn't been kidnapped while he was sleeping -Bird shrugged and coldly responded if he was getting his priorities in order then so was she.

She'd pretty much given him the silent treatment the rest of the night.

Mental warfare, he shook his head, she'd done all of that to him on purpose and even though he knew it, the tactic had still worked. He'd considered calling Barnes to tell him he needed another week.

But it wouldn't have mattered if he took another week or another month before returning. He was going back to the GCPD and she wasn't going to be happy about it.

Dropping the phone back on the table, he turned on his side and stared at the back of her head.  
Bird was lying perfectly still, breathing slow and even.

Anyone else would have thought she was asleep; but he knew better.

"Bird." Jim said, his voice heavily from sleep still, "We have to get up."

No response.

"You're still mad at me?" He asked but it came out as more of a statement.

When she still didn't answer him, he scooted closer, wrapped an arm around her side and raised up some to lean over and look at her face. She had her eyes closed, still pretending she couldn't hear him.

"I know you're awake." Jim said with a small laugh at how absurd this all was.  
Leaning down he kissed the side of her face and repeated, "We have to get up."

"It's too early." She sighed, "The alarms haven't even gone off yet. Go back to sleep."  
With that she snuggled her body back against his and said, "Goodnight."

"It's morning." He argued, "And the alarms didn't go off because you shut them off."

"Did not."

"Yes, you did."

"That's ridiculous." She argued.

Leaning back over and pressing another kiss to the side of her face, he pointed out, "You're ridiculous."

She did her best to try and keep pretending she'd fallen back asleep but when he relentlessly peppered the side of her face with kisses, she couldn't keep up the act any longer and a smile spread over her lips.

With a giggle, she tried to shrug him off and complained, "Stop it!"

"Okay, okay." Bird continued laughing as she struggled to squirm out of his grip, "I'll get up -and we can go get breakfast and then we could-"

"I only have time for coffee." Jim pointed out as he got up. Turning he watched as she sat up and brushed her messy hair out of her face.

With a wide hopeful smile she questioned, "From the little cafe over on West 34th?"

"From the kitchen." Jim said with a small sigh, "As I'm running out the door at this point."

Just as he was turning to head for the bathroom he caught sight of her smile turning into a scowl.

"You knew this was happening today." He called over his shoulder.

 **•••**

"Today is Detective Gordon's first day back, isn't it?" Bruce asked as he walked next to his sister down the broken up sidewalk pavement.

"Yep." Bird simply answered.

"How are you handling that?" Bruce questioned.

Slowing to a stop, Bird turned to face her brother and breathed, "I'm worried."

With a nod, he sympathized, "It's a dangerous job-"

"Yeah, but Jim can handle himself." Bird stated confidently, "But… you remember how he used to be? At the beginning? What if going back on the job makes him more like the old Jim?"

"I liked him then too." Bruce shrugged.

"Yeah, well I didn't." She flatly stated with raised brows.

Just thinking about his entire self-righteous, holier than thou attitude angered her all over again.  
The way he'd only ever make time for her and Oswald when he wanted something done but didn't want to dirty his hands.

"Yes, you did." Bruce laughed.

"I couldn't stand him." She reminded him.

Still laughing, her brother pointed out, "Maybe, but you still liked him."

Rolling her eyes, Bird continued back on their journey towards the abandoned apartment building Selina had taken up residence in.

After Jim had left for work that morning, Bird had spent an hour or sulking around, debated calling him with a false emergency just to get him back home.

Finally, she accepted she was going to have to deal with the ways their lives were going to change with his return to work.  
Then she decided since she'd already taken the day off that she'd make the most of it and spend some time with her little brother.

She'd taken him out to a late breakfast and they were barely half way through eating and catching up when Selina called him. She wouldn't give him many details over the phone, but from what Bruce understood, Ivy Pepper had returned and something seemed to be wrong.

"You know what's kind of funny?" Bird asked, glancing over her shoulder as Bruce caught up with her fast pace.

"What?" He asked.

"You're dating a criminal." She laughed, "And I'm dating a cop." She couldn't help but think of what their parents reactions would have been to that.

The comment did bring out a small laugh from her brother, but he was also quick to defend, "There is more to her than just that." Bruce pointed out, knowing Selina was a good person.

"There usually is more to us." Bird answered, as she opened the door the building and motioned for him to go inside.

He paused before walking over the threshold.

There she went, resigning herself to being identified as a criminal again.  
Bruce wondered if that was still just the mindset she had or if she was still heavily involved in Gotham's underworld.

Once they made it up the stairs, Selina let them into the apartment and instead of seeing the Ivy they'd expected, they saw a young woman messily eating canned fruit with a spoon.

Selina filled them in on how the guy who'd been traveling with Fish, named Marv had the ability to age someone up just by touch.  
Fish had been having him age their enemies to death, but the night he'd been sicced on Ivy, he'd only had a hold of her a moment before she fell.

Ivy didn't pay much attention to them.  
Didn't hardly look up from the can she was devouring as they talked about her like she wasn't even in the same room.

"I should have known." Selina shook her head in disappointment with herself, "I saw what that freak Marv could do and when you told me that the girl wearing her sweater was older… I… I should have realized."

The trio stood in silence watching the redhead open a second can of food and dig right in.

"That's really Ivy?" Bruce asked.

"You're sure?" Bird echoed.

"Trust me." Selina nodded, "She showed up and literally ate all my food. Immediately -ate all my food. It's her."

"Well…" Bird breathed looking at the expensive clothing Ivy was wearing, "She seems to be doing alright for herself."

"Why did she come back here?" Bruce wondered.

Good question, Selina thought to herself. Marching over she hit Ivy's arm.

"Ow!" She cried out holding onto her surely bruised arm, "What was that for?"

"For being alive and not telling me!" Selina hissed.

She was the only one who cared enough to search for her, to worry about her -to miss her.  
She'd helped Ivy survive on the streets for years and then her friend just left her to mourn.

"I'm sorry." Ivy said as she stood up, now grown up and wearing heels, she towered over Selina and had to lean down to hug her old friend, "I was just having fun."

When she stood up and turned to look at Bird and Bruce, Bird's eyes widened and she jutted a finger at her, "You!"

"Me?"

"You!" Bird repeated, "I've seen you around the city. The night of Oswald's victory party you were there. I remember you were watching me."

Ivy stared back at her. She'd thought she'd been discrete at the time, but she had been watching Bird. Mimicking her movements. The way she held her glass and sipped on the drink.

It was a few years ago now, but she still remembered the time she and Selina had spent crashing at Barbara Kean's penthouse. How Bird was there a lot and Ivy never admitted it out loud; but she'd always wondered what it would feel like to be them.

The clothes and the money.  
It felt like they were from different worlds than she was but she longed to know what it would feel like to be them.

One day Barbara had cleaned out one of her closets, dropped a pile of clothes in the living room and let Ivy and Selina pick through it for anything they wanted.

Ivy remembered how soft the fabrics felt in her hands. How she'd tried on one piece after another but nothing had come close to fitting her.

She'd overheard Barbara tell Selina that beauty is as powerful as any weapon, one just has to know how to use it.

And now she did. All grown up, she filled out the very clothes she'd always longed to wear.  
People looked at her and not just through her.

Some of it she was still trying to figure out though.  
Her mom had never been one to dress up; they didn't have the money after all and what was the point in trying to put on make-up when her face was bruised up from her husband's fists?

So Ivy had never learned how to style her own hair, trying out make up had been nothing less than trial and error. It was far more difficult than she'd originally imagined.

Everything she'd learned about being an adult; a woman, was from watching and mimicking others.

"I wanted to say hi." Ivy explained, "But then someone tried to shoot Penguin and you were being strangled and…" Giving a shrug that seemed to shrink her down by more than a few inches she added, "I left."

Bruce looked at Ivy and then over this sister before looking back at the tall redhead and questioning, "Why'd you come back?"

"I don't have to answer your questions." She snapped before demanding that Selina to tell her why she'd called billionaire boy Bruce Wayne anyways.

"Because you freaked me out!" Selina exclaimed, "Where have you been anyways? And why are you dressed like that?"

Ivy looked down at the form fitting dress she was in and her eyes grew wide with excitement, "Oh, Selina, it's so crazy; when you look like this guys just come up to you and give you stuff! Half the time you don't even have to steal it."

"Hmm." Selina hummed, her voice and posture stiffening with judgement, "And what do you give them?"

Ivy stubbornly crossed her arms over her chest, "I have ways of getting what I want."

Misunderstanding, Selina grew even angrier and faultfinding as she answered in a mocking tone, "I'll bet."

"Okay, okay." Bird interrupted holding her hands up, "What are you doing here, Ivy?"

"Yeah." Selina arched a brow, "And don't say it's 'cause you missed me."

"It's true!"

When she was met by three sets of disbelieving eyes on her, Ivy admitted, "I might be in some trouble…"

"I knew it!" Selina sighed.

Of course she was in trouble, Selina thought, Ivy had been alive and well and spent months living her new life until she got in trouble and needed someone to clean up her mess.

Bird's phone rang from her jacket pocket. Seeing it was Jim calling her, she announced she had to take the call and went to the back of the room leaving the three of them to talk.

"Hey." Bird turned her back to the group.

"Hey." Jim greeted back. The uncomfortable desk chair creaking some as he leaned back at his desk.

"How's your first day back?"  
She absentmindedly picked at some peeling remnants of a once bright floral wallpaper.

"Interesting." Jim admitted, his eyes going to the folder on his desk containing crime scene photos where a man had literally been ripped apart.

It was one of the most gruesome crime scenes he'd ever seen.

Then to make matters stranger, there was a body somewhat dissolved in acid at the scene; who's face had been surgically removed.

"Interesting?" Bird repeated back.

Deciding not to get into that conversation over the phone he said, "What are you up to?"

"Oh…" She glanced back over her shoulder and answered, "Just with some friends."

"Oswald?" He guessed.

"I have other friends, Jim." She flatly stated.

The call fell into silence until Bird finally admitted, "I'm with Bruce and Selina."

Jim let out a low laugh.

"Shut up!"

He could hear the smile in her voice as she spoke.

"And don't think I don't know why you're calling me; you're just wanting to gauge how mad I am after this morning." She pointed out.

"Maybe I just missed you?" Jim said.  
It was true, but what she'd said also held a degree of truth as well.

He was endlessly relieved that she at least sounded like she was in a much better mood than she'd been that morning.

"Uh-huh." Bird hummed.

Jim looked over to see Bullock heading up the stairs with some folders in his hand.

"I just wanted to check in." Jim explained, sitting up further in his seat and preparing to get back to work on their current case, "See you later. Hey, say hi to Bruce for me."

"Okay, see you tonight." Bird started to take the phone away from her ear but then quickly said, "Jim?"

"Yeah?" He asked giving a nod to Bullock as his partner dropped the folders on his desk and Lucius Fox found his way over to them to go over more details from the case he'd stumbled upon.

A smirk took over her glossed lips as she knew from the change in his voice that there must be other people around him.

"I love you." Bird bit down on her bottom lip and waited for response; knowing that, especially at work public displays of affection made him squirm.

"Yeah. Me too." Jim answered, glancing sideways at the couple uniformed officers who'd gathered nearby to speak to one another, but were surely within earshot of him.

"Then say it." She pushed.

"Jim?" Bullock questioned.  
He wasn't usually the one who had to say they needed to get back to work, but his partner was still on his cellphone.

Knowing she wasn't going to let him off the phone until she got what she wanted, Jim answered, "I love you too."

Bird laughed, she'd gotten that out of him much sooner than she expected.

"I have to go-" Jim started to say but stopped at the realization that she'd already ended the call.

Clearing his throat and trying not to appear near as awkward as he now felt, Jim opened his mouth to ask what new details Lucius had for them, but Bullock snorted, "Crazy eyes hang up on you?"

Still chuckling to herself, Bird closed her phone, slid it back into her pocket and started to walk back to the group, but stopped and looked up when she realized how silent the room was.

Her dark brown eyes widened as she saw all three of them staring back at her.

"Was that Jim Gordon?" Selina immediately started to tease her.

"Shut up!" Bird tried to silence her.

"Aww!" Ivy cooed.

"I said shut it." Bird complained before her gaze stopped on her brother who was trying, but failing to hold back a smile.

"What?" She yelled at him.

"Nothing." Bruce answered, "I was just going to point out no one had to give you truth serum for you to admit it this time."

"Not funny." She pointed a finger in his direction.

"Anyways!" Bird loudly said, focusing her attention on Ivy, "Fill me in; what kind of trouble did you just drag us all into?"

"She stole a necklace from a creep and now-" Selina started to answer for her friend, but Bruce shushed her.

Selina's face contorted with anger and Ivy rolled her eyes, "Rude…"

"No." Bird held her hand up towards them, "Shut up."

It was then that they both heard glass breaking too.

"Neighbors?" Ivy hopefully whispered.

"Fat chance." Selina breathed, " I'm the only one staying here."

Bird started for the door and Selina was right on her heels. When they cracked the door open just enough to look out they got the attention of some men toting crossbows who were searching the building.

Bird cursed under her breath and slammed the door shut, Selina also sprung into action and propped a chair against the doorknob to delay the inevitable as she yelled to everyone else, "We have to go. Someone's here!"

"My car's around the corner." Bird announced as she started towards a window to try and find them a way out danger, but Selina caught her arm in passing and stopped her, "No, this way."

Opening up the double doors of am armoire, she showed them an escape route she'd created for situations just like this. The back of the standing closet had been busted out and through it the wall leading into the apartment next to the one Selina had been crashing in.

"Ivy, in!" Selina pushed the redhead to safety first and then grabbed Bruce to pull him along when he stood in place wanting to see who was coming after them.

Bird scrambled in after them and the four raced down the stairs and out an emergency exit. Seeing them coming, Bird's driver started to get out to open the door for them, but Bird screamed at him to get back in the car.

"Go, go, go!" She shouted as the four of them piled into the back of the luxury town car.

Tires squealed, the scent of burning rubber filled the air as he tore out of where the car had been parked and sped away so fast it left the four in the back in a tangled mess of limbs on the floor.

Ivy scrambled up first, knees in the seat and face pressed against the back window to see if they were save yet.

"Get down!" Selina cried after her friend.  
She'd looked up just in time to see an arrow collide with the glass. Gabbling onto her, she pulled Ivy back down in the seat where their heads were out of view and huffed, "What are you? Crazy?"

"Bullet proof glass?" Bruce realized as he sat down next his sister in the back of the spacious car and faced the seas Ivy and Selina were in.

"I have more enemies than friends." Bird nodded before dropping her head back against the leather seat and blowing out a breath.

This was not the direction she'd pictured her day going.

Turning back around to look at the window that had just saved her life, Ivy grinned, "Cool!"

"No! Not cool. Ivy." Selina hissed, "Is that who you stole the necklace from?"

"No… I don't… I don't know." Ivy admitted, "I don't think so. Maybe they work for him?"

"Oh, great, Ivy!" Selina punched her arm in the arm again, "Now my squat is burned and masked weirdos are trying to kill us."

Looking down she brushed her disheveled curls from her face and mumbled, "Soooo glad you came back."

Bird caught the pained look on Ivy's face and internally sighed.

"We'll figure it out." Bird stated and Bruce nodded, feeling like he already knew the right next step to take, "You have to return the necklace."

"No way!" She stubbornly shook her head, "I worked for it and it's super valuable."

"How much?" Bruce asked.

"Bruce, don't…" Selina said.  
She knew he was going to offer to buy the necklace from Ivy. And she hadn't called him for his money,

"If I buy it you get paid and we can still return it, those men would have no reason to harm us." Bruce detailed his line of thought, "How much?"

Crossing her arms over her chest, Ivy looked around the interior of the luxury car, "One-thousand dollars."

Bird raised an eyebrow, it was clear Ivy had no real sense of money.  
While one-thousand might have sounded like a lot the reality was it wouldn't get you much or very far.

"Psh." Selina laughed, "Idiot."

"Two-thousand?" Ivy guessed, "Five… wait, no… ten."  
Looking to her only friend, the redhead quietly asked, "How much should I say?"

"Look." Bird shook her head, "I can get you seven thousand in cash today. Final offer. Take it or good luck avoiding those men on your own out here."

Slowly, she reached into her pocket and produced a pendant with an enormous emerald in the center with diamond not only surrounding the jewel, but also along the entire chain and handed it over.

She gave them the address and Bird passed the information along to her driver.

When they reached they large house, Bruce took the necklace and announced his intent to explain and return it.

Bird knocked on the window separating the back of the car from the front and the driver rolled the electric divider down.

"No!" Bruce protested as soon as he saw Bird had gotten a handgun from her driver.

"Yes." Bird argued as she got out of the car to join Selina and Ivy on the sidewalk.

"There's no need for further violence." Bruce adamantly asserted.

"We hope that's the case." Bird said as she tucked the gun into an interior pocket of her jacket and said, "You returning the necklace is plan A." Patting where the gun was she added, "I've got plan B."

"Starling-" He started to argue.

"She's right." Selina defended Bird, "If something goes wrong we're going to need to a plan B."

"Maybe I shouldn't be here." Ivy's nerves finally started to show, "Kinda hit him over the head with a vase…"

"You're coming with us." Bird's voice took on tone like she was scolding a child, "We're going to return the necklace and you're going to apologize; even if you don't mean it."

With her eyes a little wide, Ivy nodded and begrudgingly followed them up the steps.

Seeing that the door was already open, they all headed inside where they found the body of a man lying on the floor with an arrow poking out of his right eye.

"I did not do that." Ivy quickly told them.

Selina's immediate response was that they needed to go, but Bird and Bruce both moved closer to the body.

"It's the same weapon." Bird stated and her brother nodded, "The same men who came after us."

"I thought they worked for him?" Ivy said.

"Oh, you were wrong again? Imagine that…" Selina rolled her eyes.

"Ivy." Bird walked up to her, "Where was he keeping the necklace. Did he say anything about it? Clearly this is more than some rare piece of jewelry."

"A vault." Ivy answered with a shrug, "After he caught me stealing it, he said something weird… like, 'did they send you?' or something."

"Did who send you?" Bird's brows lowered.

"How am I supposed to know?" Ivy stomped her foot down.  
Her childish actions a far contrast to her adult appearance.

Bruce held the necklace out in his hand, thinking out loud, "What is it about this necklace that makes people kill for it?"

"Forget the stupid necklace!" Selina yelled, feeling like the only person in the room with any sense.  
There was one dead body on the floor and at least two heavily armed men after them. Now wasn't the time for a conversation.

Snatching it out of his hand she threw it across the room. The chain busted and the jewel was broken from it's setting.

"Are you crazy?" Ivy gasped rushing for the broken necklace, "That's worth seven-thousand dollars!"

Bird shook her head, if the jewels in the necklace were real, which she suspected they were; it was worth far more than that.

"Whoa…" Ivy breathed as she knelt down and picked it up, "It's not a necklace… it's a key."

She handed it to Bruce and they all stood in silence for a moment before Selina softly said, "Bruce, we have to go."

"Oh. My. God." Ivy nearly squealed as she looked between them, "You two are a couple now?"

"Yes." Bruce said at the exact same time Selina answered, "No."

"We aren't?" Bruce seemed genuinely surprised.

"Why not?" Bird asked looking between them.

Throwing her head back in frustration Selina stammered, "I'm not talking about this right now. We have to go somewhere and my place is toast thanks to this dimwit!" She threw her arm in Ivy's general direction.

"We'll go to my house." Bruce offered up a solution.

 **•••**

"Nice…" Ivy breathed as they walked into the living room of Bird's townhouse and she looked around.

"Don't get any ideas." Bird immediately said, "I know where every single thing is in my house so I'll notice if something goes missing."

"Okay, mom." Ivy sighed sarcastically as she shrugged out of her coat and dropped it onto the coffee table.

Bird had attempted to unload Ivy with Selina and Bruce at Wayne Manor but she'd refused to go until she the money she was promised for the necklace.

After that, both Ivy and Selina were going to stay at Wayne Manor for the night and they'd further investigate they key tomorrow.

"I'll get the money." Bird said, not bothering to take off her own coat as she didn't plan on being there long at all.

"Can I at least look around?" Ivy questioned, "Do you have anything to eat?"

With a shrug, Bird started for the stairs and called over her shoulder, "Food and drinks are in the kitchen."

Ivy made her way into the kitchen.  
Walking slow as she trailed her fingers over the shiny appliances.  
She'd never lived anywhere with such a nice kitchen.

Grabbing a box of cereal up from the counter, she didn't even bother to read the label before she'd opened it and stuffed a palm full of it in her mouth.

She walked over to the fridge and opened it, stared inside until the cold air was too much on her bare legs. Shutting the door with a shiver she found the cabinet containing the glasses and got one down.

She was leaned over the counter drinking a glass of water and munching on more dry cereal when she noticed a plant over to her left.

It was a thriving, bright green bamboo plant.

With a wide smile she drank down the rest of her water and picked the potted plant up.

It was several minutes later that Bird found Ivy wandering around the master bedroom; still carrying the bamboo plant with her.

"That's mine." Bird protested.

"I love it." Ivy complimented as she gently sat the plant down on a decorative table.

"It was a gift." Bird admitted, "From my ex of all people."  
She thought back to Harvey's impromptu visit the prior year to her new townhouse under the guise of bringing her a housewarming gift when he'd really been there to question her about her role in breaking Jim out of Blackgate.

"And I'll be damned if it's the only plant I've ever had luck with." She said with a small laugh.

"I've always been good with plants." Ivy sounded proud of herself, "I've always liked them more than people."

"That's nice…" Bird cleared her throat and held out a large purse, "Here's your money. Ready to go?"

But Ivy wasn't listening to her, instead her gaze had focused on a shiny garment bag hanging on one of the closet doors.

"It's so pretty." Ivy cooed as she trailed her fingers over the soft fabric after unzipping the bag and took in the sight of an elegant evening gown, "Did they have it in green?"

Dropping the bag of money on the bed, Bird walked closer, shooed her away from it and zipped the protective bag shut again, "No, I didn't buy it off the rack somewhere. It's a special design."

"Oh…" Ivy's brows raised, not sure entirely sure what that meant.

Ignoring Bird's insistence they get going, Ivy opened the door and walked into the large walk-in closet.

"It looks like a clothing store in here." She commented.

"Ivy-"

"I remember years ago, Selina got invited to some dance with Bruce." Ivy smiled, "She told me over and over again it wasn't a date, they were going to steal something, but she couldn't talk about it without smiling. It was so a date!"

"I remember that too." Bird agreed, "Barbara and I helped her get ready for it."

"She told me." Ivy looked back and the smile on her face turned sad, "She kept complaining to me after how you both kept fussing over her; her hair and her makeup."

"She hated it." Bird recalled.

"She loved it." Ivy corrected, "She'd never had that before."  
Looking down she softly added, "Neither have I."

Bird watched her for a bit before asking, "How did you end up on the streets?"

"They said my dad killed your parents and the police killed-" She started.

"No, I know that." Bird cut in, "What about your mom?"

"She was so sad after my dad died." Ivy's gaze cast down to the floor, "She just slept all the time. With dad gone we didn't have any money. One day there was a note on our door that we were being evicted and then a few days later she was dead."

"Your mom?" Bird asked.

"Slit her wrists." Ivy nodded.

"I'm sorry." Bird earnestly answered, "I didn't know."

"It's okay." Ivy looked around, "It's wasn't all bad. Like the time Selina and I lived at Barbara's. You were there a lot the time, remember?"

"I do." She nodded, "Barbara was a really close friend at one point."

Now the blonde just seemed to call and constantly warn her that Jim was going to ruin her.

"Hey!" Ivy exclaimed excitedly as she rushed towards Bird so fast she nearly knocked the both of them down, "Maybe we could be friends now? Me and you!"

Seeing the reluctance on Bird's face she added, "I'm a grown up now."

"I… uh…" Bird tried to choose her words carefully, "I don't have a lot of friends."

"Me either!" Ivy beamed, "See, it's perfect."

"It's really not." Bird attempted to let her down easy, "The people close to me always end up getting hurt. Trust me, you don't want to be my friend."

"Fine." She breathed, before literally stomping her way back out of the closet.

Her feelings were hurt. Bird liked Selina and she couldn't understand why she didn't want to be friends with her too.

Closing her eyes, Bird let out a heavy sigh before turning and walking out into the bedroom, "What are you doing this Friday?"

"I don't know." Ivy crossed her arms over her chest and jutted a single shoulder forward, "Why do you want to know?"

"That dress-" Bird pointed to the garment bag, "Is for an engagement party on Friday. Jim is working a late shift that day and if we're being honest he wasn't really invited; I don't really want to go alone so…"

"You want me to come with you?" Ivy gasped, "Really?"

"Why not?" Bird tossed her arms up with her signature unstable laugh coming through, "We can go tonight and get you a dress and then you can come with me Friday for hair and make up before the party-"

The end of her sentence was cut off as the air was knocked out of her from Ivy running to hug her and squeeze her about as tightly as she could manage.

"We're gonna have so much fun!" Ivy was nearly jumping up and down as she spoke.

Awkwardly patting her back, Bird tried to squirm out of the embrace, "It's going to be interesting…"

Seeing her upset had hurt more than Bird cared to admit; in truth she felt responsible for the hand Ivy had been dealt in life.

Not all of it, of course, but enough. Enough that Bird was starting to feel responsible for her.

After all, had she made a different choice years ago then maybe Ivy's life would have turned out differently.

But she hadn't known who Ivy Pepper was back then; back before she even knew Falcone was her own biological father.

••• **flashback •••**

"She here?" Fish asked as she walked up to Butch.

"Out there, boss." Butch nodded towards the main sitting area in the dive bar.

With a nod, Fish pulled in a deep breath and started for the table where the young brunette was sitting with her back to them.

She was slouched forward over the table, dark and tangled brunette waves cascading over her shoulders.

Fish's brows lowered with the realization she was pretty sure those were the exact same clothes Bird had been wearing yesterday.

Any other time she'd have pointed it out.  
Bird's messy appearance was something she'd gotten after her for more than once.

But not today. The club wouldn't be opening for hours and Bird had already been through hell.

Giving Bird's shoulder a squeeze, Fish walked past her and sat down across the table.

"How are you?" Fish questioned.

Bird looked up at her and her boss took in her appearance. Bloodshot, red-rimmed eyes. The skin on her cheeks was blotchy. It was clear he hair hadn't been brushed in days; it was probably a wonder if she was showering at this point.

"Fine." Bird replied. Her voice was slurred.

Fish's eyes went to the water bottle in Bird's hand, she'd have bet every cent in the bank that the clear liquid in the bottle with torn off label was vodka and not water.

"Really." Fish's voice lowered some and she leaned in, "How are you doing?"

"I'm… I'm fine." Bird repeated, spinning the cap from the bottle loose and taking a long drink before adding, "My parents are dead, but I don't think they liked me all that much anyways. So whatever, right?"

With that she stuck the bottle up in the air like she was toasting something and then took another drink.

Fish's full lips pressed into a thin line.  
This was exactly what she'd been worried about when she heard of the Wayne murders; was that Bird would start spiraling down and a part of her was afraid there'd be no stopping it.

"Baby girl, we need to talk." Fish started.

Bird raised her head and stared at her wondering what was coming next.

Her parents were dead, was her boss really about to fire her too?

That would be perfect, she snorted out loud. She was an orphan once again and now she was going to be jobless too.

Her parents estate was still being sorted but that didn't matter. She didn't expect them to leave her anything anyways; she'd already accepted Bruce would more than likely inherit everything.

Now without a job what the hell was she going to do for money?  
She'd have to weasel it out of her little brother; but how long until Alfred realized and put a stop to that?

With a loud groan, Bird dropped her head back. Immediately the dizziness left her feeling like she losing her footing.

Spinning; just spinning out of control.  
Just like her life was circling the drain.

Fish continued to watch her. She hadn't the slightest idea what was going on inside of the younger woman's head but Bird was acting like she'd just been handed bad news before she'd been told anything.

"Carmine wanted me to speak with you-"

"Don Falcone?" Bird stammered sitting up a little taller in her seat but ended up slouched back down, "If this is about the Arkham deal then I can't help. I know he wanted the same thing my parents did on that but I can't help it. Look at me -no one is going to listen to me."

"This has nothing to do with Arkham." Fish held up a hand to stop what was sure to be a drunken ramble pity party.

"There's no soft way to put this, so I'm just going to give it to you straight." Fish sucked a breath in between her teeth and then admitted, "Someone needs to pay for what happened to your parents."

"I agree-"

"I'm not finished." Fish said as she reached out and laid her hand on top of Bird's, "Your parents' murders are going to plunge the city deep into chaos. We don't know who killed them… but someone needs to pay for what happened."

"Oh…" Bird breathed, finally understanding what she was being told.

Someone, not the actual party responsible, but someone needed to pay for what had happened.

They were going to frame someone for the murders. A patsy.

"Who?"

"Mario Pepper."

Bird tried to search her scrambled mind but she couldn't place the name or put a face with it.

"I don't know him." Bird admitted.

"Low-level thug. Real piece of work. The kind of man no one is going to care about when he's locked up and the keys are thrown away." Fish explained.

"Why are you telling me this?" Bird asked, her voice thick.

"The plan is to smuggle a pearl necklace into his apartment inside a bag of drugs-"

"My mom's necklace…"

"A replica." Fish nodded.

"Why are you bothering to tell me all this?" She asked.

"Don Falcone wanted to bring you in on this. Hear your thoughts before we proceed." Fish said.

"Please." Bird threw her head back. An erratic laugh spilling from her open mouth, "No one is asking for my blessing on this. These sort of things are always decided in meetings that go way above my head. I'm only being brought in on the ground floor for this so I could made an accessory if I ever open my mouth."

Fish slowly blinked, her eyes never leaving Bird's face.

She could lie. Try and tell her how wrong she was, but she didn't.

She couldn't. Despite all of her flaws, Fish loved her too much to do that.

"You're right." Fish conceded, "You're smart, Bird. Too smart sometimes and we have no doubt you'd eventually figure out it wasn't really Pepper who'd killed your mom and dad. We had to bring you in for this; but Falcone also wants to know you're okay with this."

"Maroni's power is starting to expand. If he gets his way with the Arkham Project then he's going to be swiping up more territory. The city is in a panic right now. Absolute unrest. If someone is capable of killing Thomas and Martha Wayne in cold blood, then how could anyone else be safe?"

"They aren't." Bird stated. Even though her head still felt dizzy with a buzzing in her ears, she suddenly felt cold and sober, "It's Gotham. None of us are safe."

"I wouldn't have agreed to bring you in on this if I didn't think you could handle it." Fish explained.  
She got up and sat down in the seat right next to Bird and took her face in her hands, "It's a good plan. It's what's best for everyone."

"Best for me?" Bird asked, "For my brother?"

"You are going to come out the other side of this stronger than you have ever been. And your brother can rest easy thinking the man responsible for what happened is behind bars." Fish tried to sway her.

Bird pulled her face from Fish's hands. Her line of sight falling to the table.

Her little brother had seen his parents murdered right in front of him; he'd never rest easy again.

"What do you want me to tell Falcone?" Fish put the ball in her court.

Bird bit back another bitter tasting laugh and for a moment she hated everyone and everything.  
Fish for bringing this up to her. Falcone for sending her to do so.

Even Oswald -being Fish's umbrella boy he was always at her side, he must have known this was happening and hadn't said anything to her.

Anger bubbled up to her face. Cheeks burning like someone had poured acid on her skin.

In that moment she could set the city on fire. Razed the earth where they all stood and not blinked twice.

"Bird?"

"Tell Falcone that I don't like it, but I know this is what has happen to happen for the greater good." Bird tilted some as she got to her feet, "Take the message back that I know we can't let Maroni swallow up more territory and sense any weakness from our side. Frame Mario Pepper. Kill him. Whatever has to happen just do it. I'll b a good little soldier and keep my mouth shut just like I always have."

With that she headed for the exit. She had to get out of there before her arsonist fantasies came to life.

Falcone would pay for this, she vowed.  
Every day she and Oswald got closer to taking him down and they'd get Fish in the process too.

Usually that thought turned her stomach, she was closer to her boss than she'd been with her own mother, but just like they were asking her to do in this situation; Painful things were going to have to be done for the greater good.

They'd take Fish down. Overthrow Falcone and usurp the throne.  
And some day she'd find out who really murdered her parents and when that day came she'd make damn sure it was their last.

 **•••** **end of flashback •••**

* * *

 **A/N - I was so happy to see many of you are still with me. I was a little worried I'd lost my readers when it had taken me so long to get the last updated posted. Lol.**

 **Thank you to: AGBreads, xxXWolfLullabyXxx, Shadow knight1121, Rasiel Hasu, xenocanaan, Munyue, SmellYourScentForMiles, Iamskittles, Katniss789, Love. Fiction. 2019, Havana, DancingDorisDay and Guests for reviewing since my last update. You all really put a smile on my face!**

 **I'm also super happy I was able to get this chapter out so soon. Haha.  
Do I still have my Bim shippers (Bird x Jim) out there?  
**

 **Bird and Ivy should be interesting, right?**  
 **And then it was also so much fun to get back in the mindset of Bird for season 1 with that flashback!**

 **I can't wait to hear your thoughts and I really hope everyone enjoyed the chapter.**


	14. Soirée

**XIV - Soirée  
**

" _There was a small part of me that was still childish, stubborn in her hope, thinking I could somehow have everything. That I could be all the versions of me, stacked inside one another, and find someone who would want them all. But that's childhood. Before you realize that every step is a choice. That something must be given up for something to be gained. Everything on a scale, a weighing of desires, an ordering of which you want more-and what you'd be willing to give for it." - Megan Miranda, All the Missing Girls_

* * *

 **•••**

"Who is he?" Ivy asked, gesturing to where Mario was starting to get the crowds attention at the engagement party.

"My brother." Bird answered as she swooped up a glass of champagne from the waiter's tray near them.

"I thought Bruce was your brother." Ivy's face twisted.

Turning to face her companion for the remainder of the party Bird blew out a sigh, "I'm his adopted sister. I'm Mario's half-sister, by blood."

"But I thought you were really a Wayne, like… by blood too…"

"I am." Bird nodded, "My biological mother was a Wayne."

"But-" Ivy started to say until Bird cut her off, "Ivy. I know how incredibly confusing my lineage is-"

"Confusing? How about awesome!" Ivy exclaimed, her eyes wide, "You're a Wayne and Falcone. You know you could be like running this city, right? And-and I could help you."

"Help me do what?" Bird was only half-listening to her at this point.

"Be a queen." Ivy's voice was buzzing with excitement, "We could make people give us money and wait on us and do whatever we wanted to them to do and-"

"Ivy." Bird began, "I'm just trying to live my life, okay? Not start an empire."

"But-" The younger woman started with a whine in her tone.

"Power isn't everything." Bird practically shushed her, "I had the chance to take over once. Falcone was prepping me to fill his shoes but I didn't want it then and I don't want it now, okay?"

Ivy's brows furrowed. Power isn't everything?  
Bird's words played over in her head and sounded just as ridiculous the second time around.

Then it occurred to her that of course Bird felt that way. Her last name alone gave her power. Her wealth did too.  
She was born with it, so it naturally didn't seem that big of a deal to her.

Ivy's train of thought was interrupted by the clinking of metal against glass and the crowd of voices turned into whispers and murmurs.

"Excuse me." Bird quietly said to Ivy when she saw Don Falcone motioning for her to join them at the front of the room, "I'm being summoned."

Plastering a smile on her face, Bird nodded and shook a few hands on her way to where Falcone was standing.

"My father and I haven't always seen eye-to-eye." Mario began his speech and the room erupted in laughter, "But I think, dad, you'll agree." He continued, "That marrying Lee is the best decision I've ever made."

"Without a doubt." Falcone chuckled.

Lee glanced back at the former crime boss with a wide smile on her face, then her eyes fell to where Bird was standing beside him and watching her intently.

"Lee." Mario got his fiance's attention, "You're a doctor, a member of our city's police department. You're funny, compassionate and brilliant. Despite insisting all dogs are boys and all cats are girls-"

Again, the room came alive with laughter.

"I've tried to correct her. It's hopeless." Mario chuckled, "I've loved you since the moment I saw you."

Various whispers and adoring awes sounded from the crowd as Mario stepped closer to his soon to be wife, before pulling her in for a kiss.

"I'm glad you decided to make an appearance." Falcone said as he looked towards his biological daughter who was keeping a distant eye on the redhead she'd brought with her to the party.

"Hmm." A hum noise accompanied the breath Bird blew out, "You made it clear that I didn't have much of a choice." She reminded him, a smile still on her face in case any of the press at the soiree snapped a picture of her.

"This is a family event. A celebration." He reminded her, "Your brother is getting married."

"My half-brother." Bird retorted, "Who I only met months ago."

He glanced at her. Their already strained relationship had only been rockier since she'd found out he'd known all along The Court of Owls had been behind her parents' murders.

The night all of the animosity she felt towards him had been reignited; and he'd so easily thrown both her past and how she only came aground when she wanted something in her face.

Not a particularly high moment for either of them.

"Mario is a good man." Falcone said the same thing Bird kept hearing from everyone over and over again, before he verbally nudged, "You should get to know him."

Bird opened her mouth, several comments threatened to spill out. Each on the tip of her tongue, most of them would have been just as bitter and childish as she felt in that moment.

After all, it was only moments ago that Mario was publicly gushing about how much he loved Lee and their father looked as though he couldn't have been prouder.

And in Bird's mind, it didn't feel like all that long ago he'd came down on her for being too emotional. Forced her into working under him, working alongside Zsasz in an attempt to toughen her up.

The night of the Founders Dinner when she and Oswald had been taking jabs at one another, he'd known just where to cut her -pointing out she was always second best.

That was exactly how she'd always felt. Growing up, despite the age difference with Bruce being several years younger than her, she'd never measured up to him in their parents eyes.  
And now damned if she wasn't feeling the very same thing about Mario.

She didn't respond.  
Knowing the remarks she wanted to make wouldn't change anything; that all they'd earn would be either a stern look from Falcone or possibly even a verbal reprimand to confirm exactly what she already knew, that she was being childish. That she needed to let go and move forward.

Closing her eyes she pulled in a deep breath and slowly exhaled, trying to release some of the negativity along with it.

"If you'll excuse me…" Bird said, half of the parting spoke over her shoulder as she walked away in search of Ivy.

She'd only just found her when one of the reporters circling the room made her way over to them.

"Starling Wayne!"

"Bird." Both Bird and Ivy corrected at the same time.  
When Bird looked over at her, Ivy gave a wink as if to say she had her back and then shot the reporter a scowl, "She likes to be called Bird."

"Of course." The reporter was taken aback, "My apologies, miss…?"

"Ivy." She flipped her curled auburn hair over her shoulder.

"Hi." Bird interrupted extending a hand and charismatic smile to the eager young woman with a notepad in hand, "I hope you're enjoying the celebration."

Bird couldn't remember the name of the female reporter, but she'd spoken with her before at various events.  
She looked to the man holding the camera who'd been following the reporter around the room. He looked to be barely out of high school and rather starstruck.

"It's quite the event!" The reporter remarked.

"Right!" Ivy nearly squealed as if she was in the conversation, "There are sooo many rich people here, it's crazy."

"Ivy." Bird stammered, "Why don't you go get a drink."

Ivy crossed her arms over her chest, she wasn't stupid, she knew when someone was trying to get rid of her.

"Fine."  
The word echoed in the air as she turned and nearly stomped over to the bar.

Seeing the reporter staring at her, pen hovering above the notebook, Bird offered a smile -as much as she didn't want to give an interview for the sure to be lengthy article coming out in the papers about that night, she also didn't want the only mentions of her to be about the encounter they'd had with Ivy.

"Forgive me." Bird shook her head, "I know we've met before but I can't quite place you-"

"Erica." She tucked some hair behind her ear, "Gotham Tribune."

"That's right." Bird nodded.

The paper wasn't near as popular as the Gazette; but still had quite a large audience.

"Do you mind?" Erica asked, drawing Bird's eyes to the notebook waiting to be filled with quotes from party-goers that evening.

"Of course not."  
She kept the smile on her face.

Doing another scan visual scan of the room, Erica began, "I couldn't help but notice that James Gordon is absent tonight."

"Work." Bird's gracious expression faltered.  
She'd thought they'd want her thoughts on the upcoming wedding, not her own personal life.

"Someone has to keep the city safe." Bird quickly recovered.

"That can't be easy, being in a relationship with a police officer. I mean, with your ties to organized crime." Erica not so subtly tried to provoke her.

Bird blankly stared at her; torn between the various ways she wanted to answer that.  
Her first instinct was a joke at how cops have always been in bed with criminals; but she couldn't.  
Not only would her words have taken completely out of context, but that would also mean further tying herself to crime in the media.

How she longed for the days when she could say whatever came to mind without over-thinking the consequences.  
Simpler times.

"How did you feel when you first heard that Leslie Thompkins was engaged to marry your brother? Her past with Gordon… that must make things awkward…"

"Thrilled." Bird beamed, before toning back the sarcasm and knowing the only way out of this was to fake it.

"I mean honestly, I couldn't be happier for them." Bird clasped her hands.

"Really?" Erica arched a brow, "Just one big happy family now? Even though she was was pregnant with James' baby when he was sentenced to life in Blackgate?"

Vultures.  
Bird thought to herself.

The reporters in Gotham were all vultures. Always seeking out and feeding on the dark details.  
Far more interested in writing up gossip columns over covering actual news headlines.

Bird glanced to the side to see Lee standing there. She'd been passing by them as she worked her way around the room and was brought to a halt upon overhearing the reporter's words.

"Oh!" Erica exclaimed as she realized who was watching them.

Her eyes darted between Bird and Lee, waiting to see what would transpire next. Greedily hoping for the worst.  
For drama. Tears. Anger. Anything she could use to get her story on the front page.

"Life is full of tragedy." Bird spoke up, "And that is what makes times like this infinitely more special. Life is so full of the bad that when something -or someone good comes into your life you hang on it."

Bird extended her hand to Lee, who seemed unsure, but accepted the gesture and took her hand. Stepping closer.

"And it's true… Lee and I were connected before Mario ever came into the picture. With my current relationship with Jim and their past, it could easily be an awkward situation… but it's not." Giving Lee's hand a squeeze Bird added, "I admire her strength… and I couldn't be happier to welcome her into the family."

Selling it even further, Bird beamed with a laugh, "And I've always wanted a sister."

With that she turned and wrapped an unsuspecting Lee in a tight hug. She managed to smile and return the embrace right as the camera boy snapped a few shots of them.

It was just moments after the hug was broken that the reporter realized there either wasn't a deeper story to dig out or that Bird wasn't going to be provoked and she wandered off in search of more guests to interview.

Bird looked down to see Lee opening and closing her fists at her sides before wringing her hands in front.

"You alright?" Bird asked.

"I just…" Lee stammered, "Thank you."

"You're marrying a Falcone." Bird pointed out, "Even if he doesn't use the name, still. You're going to be in the spotlight."

"Bit of a advice? Girl to girl?" Bird cocked her head to the side, "Never let them see you break down."

Lee nodded, she knew Bird was right.  
She wasn't entirely sure why she was still being nice to her now that they were alone, but in truth she was grateful for the save.

She'd expected any news coverage to be the celebration, the high profile guests in attendance. She didn't expect to have the most painful time in her loss tossed about so casually.

"Have a drink. Plaster a smile on and if anyone else with a notepad and camera approaches you, just keep gushing about the wedding. What designer make your dress, shoes… stuff like that." Bird offered up another piece of advice before walking away.

Lee pulled in a deep breath, straightened her posture and turned to head for the bar. Planning to follow the advice she'd been given, only she didn't have to fake a smile when she saw Captain Barnes.

"Captain!" She greeted, "I'm so glad you came."

Barnes had been watching in the direction that Bird had left in. He was never a fan of her to begin with but that night just the sight of her was getting under his skin.

He could only think of one word when he'd spotted Bird at the party; guilty.

He hadn't been close enough to hear the conversation between Lee and Bird, but he'd seen how Lee looked nearly distraught when she'd started to turn around.

"Don't let her ruin your night." He offered up.

"Who?" Lee's forehead lined, "Bird? No, she's-"

"A psychopath." Barnes filled in.

He shook his head.  
She was all smiles and charm when she needed to be. The danger you'd never see coming. Like a serpent lying in wait.

Lee's expression twisted up further, "She has her moments…"

"Forget her." Barnes instructed, "This is your party…you deserve to be happy."

"Thank you." Lee gratefully stepped closer to someone she'd always felt was a comforting presence, "You have to stay for at least one drink. I insist."

"One drink." He agreed.

Weeks ago, at the scene where Alice Tetch had died, he'd been infected with her blood. The virus was coursing through his veins.

It had caused a windfall of mixed emotions. At first it was mostly hopeless, then the study being done on the virus had seemed to wield some promising results -and he'd became strong enough he no longer needed his cane to walk.

Then the study progressed and the results were startling. The mice that had been infected starting attacking and killing one another and he'd felt a change within himself. A violent change.

GCPD was currently hunting for the killer of Paulie Pennies. The man whose body had literally been ripped apart at one of the most gruesome crime scenes they'd ever seen.

Little did the cops working under him know, but the man they were hunting for was their captain.

Barnes didn't know how long he had left, but he knew he had to do something before the virus completely took over.

Work had been his life and had left him with no time for a family; which is why in his will he bequeathed all of his assets to the police academy.

And that very night before leaving the station, he'd left his badge and gun on his desk.

One last night, he'd told himself, in the morning he'd turn himself in.

 _Guilty_  
The word continued to bounce around in his head as he spotted Bird across the room again.

"One drink." Lee repeated.

Shaking his head he smiled, "Just one… but no work talk."

"Deal." Lee agreed.

 **•••**

For the next hour, Bird did her best to avoid the press at the party and appear as if she was having a good time.

She did her best to ward off anyone there who would bring her mood down; including Falcone.  
Though she did witness an interesting exchange between her biological father and the GCPD captain by the bar.

She'd had several encounters with Captain Barnes since he'd come to Gotham, but even in the ones where they'd nearly faced off, he'd been nothing but professional.

Don Falcone had been all politeness and charm; Barnes had been rude in response.

His behavior seemed off to her, but it was a passing thought once Ivy caught back with up her and distracted her once again.

"I was thinking we should get matching jewelry." Ivy voiced her thoughts.

"What?" Bird's face scrunched, "Why?"

"You know." Ivy laughed and nudged her arm, "Since we're such good friends now."

"Right…" Bird's eyebrows raised.

Ivy continued to ramble on about her idea. Wanting to know if Bird would rather have best friend necklaces or bracelets.

But she didn't get an answer, Bird was too focused on the doorway to the ballroom where the party was being held.

She'd seen Lee go out into the hallway and then a few moments later Mario left too with an unhappy expression on his face.

Curious as to what was going on, she followed them.

Leaving Ivy to trail behind her, upset that yet again, her new friend took off without warning.

"Good evening, everyone." Mario greeted as he came to see why Jim, Bullock and several uniformed officers were gathered in the hallway just outside of his engagement party.

"Evening… and congratulations." Bullock bellowed, his voice echoed throughout the hallway as he looked between Mario and Lee, "To both of you."

"What's going on?" Mario asked.

"Hey…" Bird's brows lowered as she joined the growing group.

"Hey." Jim greeted her back with the only word he got out before his eyes fell to the evening gown she was wearing. He'd been at work most of the day and hadn't seen her since they'd gotten up and went separate ways that morning.

Bird's glossed lips turned up at the corners when Jim seemed to be rendered speechless.

"What's going on?" Mario repeated this time with noticeable impatience both in his voice and on his face.

Lee, who'd noticed the disruption and uninvited guests before anyone else announced what she'd learned just before her fiance got there, "Apparently there is a murder suspect among our guests."

Bird's eyes cast down, she stifled a laugh. At least half to the people in the room behind them had ties to crime.

"We tried to get him at home." Jim explained, "But his house keeper said he was here."

He'd expected understanding from the trio in front of him, but instead he was met by three expressions of near disbelief.

"And this couldn't wait until after the party?" Bird questioned.

"I agree." Lee stated, "If he's here then he's not exactly running."

"Uh-oh." Bullock reached up and adjusted his hat, "Better hit the deck Jim."  
In his experience a current girlfriend in cahoots with ones ex was never a good thing.

Mario shot Bullock a look that the detective missed, when Bullock agreed, "They do have a point though. You wanna take this one partner?"

"Can I ask who the suspect is?" Mario spoke up.

"Dr. Maxwell Symon, he's-" Jim began.

"A plastic surgeon." Mario strained through a tense smile.  
Everything about Jim Gordon that night seemed more irritating than usual.  
Just being in his presence left a feeling of sandpaper on his skin.

"Why didn't you tell me that Dr. Symon was the one you'd arrested for this?" Bird stepped closer to Jim.

"I did." Jim argued, "We had a witness but she refused to testify so they him go."

He opened his mouth to announce that this was important, they had a warrant and they needed to make the arrest, but Bird didn't give him a chance.

"You didn't tell me that." Bird stuck to her side of it, "I know him. I'd have remembered if you'd told me that."

"I did tell you." Jim repeated.

"She probably wasn't listening." Ivy spoke up; side-eyeing Bird as she added, "She does that a lot."

"Who are you?" Bullock questioned.

"Bird's friend." Ivy announced, crossing her arms over her chest and asserting, "Her _best_ friend."  
Why did everyone keep seeming so surprised by that?

It was offensive, Ivy thought, was it really that unbelievable that Bird would want to be friends with her?

Jim stared at Ivy for a second, knowing Bird had only ever made that claim about one person in her life and asked, "I thought Oswald was your best friend."

"This isn't the third grade, Jim. I can have more than one friend."  
The comeback was quick and Bird beamed a wide smile.

"It feels so good to just say what comes to mind." She chuckled to herself. Reaching out she put a hand on Jim's arm and shook her head, "There's some reporters are the party. You need to wait until after this for the arrest."

"Plus." Mario chimed in, "You try and arrest him… and you'll have to fight off nearly every woman here. He's a favorite."

"He's also a murderer." Jim paused. His eyes going between Bird and Mario, neither of them seemed very surprised or alarmed by the news.

But the look Mario was giving him was far beyond the scope of someone being mildly inconvenienced.  
It was something edging on hate.

Before he could stop himself, Jim pushed, "I'd be curious to know how your father knows him."

"I'm sure that their relationship is completely above board." Mario's answer was hastened. Tone sharp.

"But he's your father too, right?" Ivy loudly whispered in Bird's direction.

"He sure is." Bird nodded. Her gaze unwavering from Jim as he shifted his stance and tried to think of a way to backtrack.

"Well, while you all hash this out, I'm going to go grab Symon." Bullock blew out a breath and started past the group.

He'd had his share of family drama for the night.

"Harvey-" Jim protested.

"I can handle a plastic surgeon on my own." He interrupted, looking between the engaged couple he added for peace of mind, "And don't worry; discretion is my middle name."

"He'll get side tracked anyways when he spots the open bar." Bird quipped.

"I heard that!" Bullock yelled over his shoulder but didn't slow his pace to get away from them.

 **•••**

"What the hell was that about?" Bird rushed to Jim and pushed his hand away from his cheek to inspect the already forming bruise.

"I'm fine." He assured her, but he seemed just as stunned as she was.

"What did he hit you for?" Bird's entire face twisted up.

"The Tetch thing." Jim said though he was still struggling to wrap his mind around how a simple request from Mario Calvi to speak alone escalated so quickly to physical violence, "Lee was in danger, she could have died and it seems he's holding a grudge."

Bird had waited several minutes on Jim to return after stepping into another room when Mario asked to have a few words with him.  
When neither of them had returned she'd invited herself along just in time to witness her half-brother punching Jim.

She looked over her shoulder to door Mario had left open on his way out of the room, then looked at Jim and questioned, "Why didn't you hit him back?"

The cheek on his skin was stinging; hot to the touch, the impact had left a residual ache along his jaw.

He let out a small laugh despite the increase in pain it caused him, he couldn't hold it back.

Only Bird would have jumped straight into that question.

"I'll let him have that one." Jim let out a sigh, "He's not wrong. She could have died that day, because of me."

"Because of Tetch." She corrected.

"Yeah." He scoffed, eyes going up towards the ceiling before his gaze fell to the floor.

Logically that was the truth.  
Jervis Tetch had abducted and threatened Lee's life, but that didn't ease the guilt he felt for both she and Bird winding up in that situation.

It was his fault and nothing would convince him otherwise.

Bird's glossed lips straightened into a tense line.

She knew how he was feeling.  
Harvey Dent's life had been put in danger more than once -solely because of his ties to her.  
And she still lived with the fear that someone would hurt him to get to her.

It was a terrible thing to know that in loving someone you were cursing them.

"What happened wasn't your fault." Her voice lowered, tone softened.  
It was pointless. The sentiment was falling on deaf ears and she knew that.

Still, she couldn't stop from saying it and hoping somehow her words would get through to him.

"It's not that simple, Bird." He looked back up at her face, "I sat there and told Tetch to kill Lee, remember?"

Of course she remembered, when faced with the choice Jim had picked her to live. With a gun to both of their heads it would have been her loss he couldn't bear.  
She'd been someones first choice; no chance in her forgetting that.

"Technically…" A smile pulled at the corner of her mouth, "You told Tetch to kill me."

"Bird-" His tone was heavy; the look on his face showed he wasn't in the mood for her making light of things.

It was far too soon for the events of that day to become the butt of a joke.

"Sorry-" She started to apologize but stopped.

His brows lowered.

"I'm not sorry." Bird admitted with a smile spreading across her lips. Reaching out she grabbed his tie and pulled him closer, her lips brushing against his as she complained, "My sense of humor is wasted on you."

With that she pressed a quick kiss to his awaiting mouth and pulled back much too soon for his liking.

Giving another smile, she patted his chest and then turned to leave the room.  
He reached after her, but she moved too fast. Slipping through his fingers.

"Hey." Bullock called out as he spotted Bird in the hallway, he was just about to ask her where Jim had disappeared to but then he also emerged from the room behind her.

"Oh…" Bullock let out a snort into the hall full glass of alcohol mid-drink.  
At first thinking they'd snuck off for a bit of alone time together -but then he noticed a bruise forming on Jim's face, like he'd been hit.

He started to ask that the hell they were doing, but didn't get the change when Jim questioned, "Where's Symon?"

"Don't know. He must have skidaddled." Bullock shrugged, then when he saw Jim eyeing the glass of amber liquid in his hand he explained, "Thought he might be at the bar."

Bird laughed, she'd called it. She knew the second Bullock caught sigh of the open bar at the celebration he'd wind up there.

Her line of sight went past the detective to the main room, to where Mario was standing with Lee on his arm, smiling and talking to the party-goers -as if he hadn't just hit someone in the face.

Her eyes narrowed.  
Everyone who'd crossed paths with Mario Calvi couldn't find a bad word to say about him. Praises were sang far and wide.

Then her sight was blocked from her half-brother when Captain Barnes came into view and seemed to be heading their way.

Suddenly, she wanted to be there even less now than earlier.

"I'm going to get some air." She announced, avoiding Jim's eyes and questions as she made a beeline for the nearest stairs.

She took the three flights of stairs in a rush, nearly slamming into the exit door at the bottom leading out to the street. Her shoulder twinged with an ache as she'd misjudged how heavy the door would be and pushed her side against the metal surface to break free.

Air.  
It was a little too chilly for the strapless dress she was in and car exhaust fumes were heavy, but it was air all the same. Much fresher than it had felt in the building.

Her head tilted back, face angled up towards the mostly starless sky.  
She stayed like that for a moment, enjoying the solitude.

The streets around the popular party destination were surprisingly quiet, though she could still hear the piano music faintly from inside; like someone had left a window open.

The very last thing she wanted to do was go back inside; back to a party she'd never wanted to attend in the first place with people she didn't much care for.

The night had been exhausting and it wasn't until she got a break from plastering on a smile for the cameras that she felt the dull ache in her jaws.

Being in the public eye came with the territory; being a Falcone, being a Wayne -but that didn't make it any less taxing.

When she heard the door open behind her, she didn't open her eyes, didn't budge from where she was standing.

"What are you doing?" Jim questioned as he found Bird standing on the sidewalk appearing to be staring up at the sky, until he noticed her eyes were shut.

"Breathing." She answered, holding her arms out to the sides when a gust of wind blew through the street.

Jim watched her with a puzzled expression.  
She looked like either about to take flight or waiting for the wind to whisk her away.

A couple passed them by, walking arm and arm, both of them repeatedly looking over their shoulders at Bird until they turned the corner.

He chuckled under his breath, they'd clearly been just as confused by what Bird was doing as he currently was; but he also didn't care.

She often had that affect on him.

"You ready to get out of here?" He asked.

"What about catching your bad guy?" Bird's arms dropped to her sides and she finally looked at him.

"They're setting up a perimeter around the building and keeping eyes on his house. He won't get far." Jim sounded confident, "Plus, it's been a long day."

"Uh-oh." Bird feigned, "You see what's happening don't you?"

He didn't answer, but his blue eyes narrowed ever so slightly not knowing how to respond.

"We're becoming _that_ couple." She finished.

" _That_ couple?" He repeated.

"Yeah!" She nudged him arm and pointed out, "There's a party happening less than a hundred feet away from us and instead we're just going to go home, order take-out and spend the next few hours on the couch watching crappy late night TV."

"Would you rather go back to party?"

"God, no!" She exclaimed, "I'd much rather have a boring night at home with you."

A smile slowly crept over his lips and he blinked at her, "You say that like it's a compliment, but worded it like an insult."

"Plus-" He continued, "We have to grab those mundane moments when we get that chance. Almost every day is chaos in our lives."

"True." She agreed and started to lean in to kiss him but they were both startled from the moment by a scream.

"That sounded close…" Bird breathed.

"It was." Jim agreed, locking eyes with her once more before they both took off in the direction the sound had echoed from.

It didn't take long for them to find who'd screamed, it was the woman from the couple who'd passed them by on the sidewalk just minutes before.

"GCPD!" Jim yelled, his pace quickening.

The man who was trying to comfort his distraught date pointed with his free arm towards a car; more so the bent and broken body of a dying man laying on the top of the car.

"Sir?" Jim called, rushing to check on the state of the gravely injured man.

"You were right." Bird stepped up beside Jim, "He didn't get far at all."

Jim shot her an unamused look as they stood next to where Dr. Maxwell Symon was struggling to breath with his shattered body sprawled across the dented car and busted windshield.

"Dr. Symon?" Jim stepped closer. Placing two fingers on the side of his neck to feel how steady the injured man's pulse was. His heartbeat was faint; his breathing rattled of impending death.

Jim started to tell Bird to call for help, but she was already on the phone.

"Who did this?" Jim knew the surgeon wasn't going to make it.  
He was knocking on death's door.

Dr. Symon moved his mouth, trying to speak but nothing was coming out.

Jim leaned in closer, just in time to hear him hoarsely stutter, "Barnes…"

The expression on his face twisted. He had to heard him wrong.  
Jim looked over to see if Bird had heard the same answer, but she was staring up to where there was a large opening in the wall of the building.

Dr. Symon hadn't fell or even jumped to his death.  
Someone had thrown him through a wall with enough force to bust the bricks and mortar.

The last time she'd seen anything like that had been when Galavan had been resurrected as Azrael; but the gardener at Wayne Manor was still finding the occasional bits of him while tending the grounds there.

She, Oswald and Butch had made sure Theo Galavan had been blown into enough pieces that no one could ever put him back together.

"What?" Jim leaned in even closer to the dying man, "Who -who did this?"  
He repeated, knowing there was no way he'd heard that right.

But Dr. Symon was too far gone.  
His eyes were glassy, body twitching and the only sounds he was able to emit were fits and gasps for air

And then he was gone.

Dead -right as she scene was flooded with GCPD and emergency responders.

Jim pulled Bird onto the sidewalk across the street from where the corpse of Dr. Symon was still sprawled on-top of the crushed car.

"Did you hear-" He started to ask if she'd heard what Symon said before he'd died, but Bird spoke at the same time, "So much for a quiet night at home, huh?"

Jim's forehead lined.

"You do realize someone was just murdered?" The words came out before he could stop himself, "There's a dead body right across the street."

"And wasn't it just minutes ago that you were saying what a bad guy Symon was? How he was a murderer?" Bird didn't miss a step, "Someone kind of just did your job for you…"

Her voice trailed off. Clearly this was one of those times where they weren't going to see eye-to-eye.  
Not at all. Not even a little bit.

Biting down on the side of his tongue he came to the same conclusion; they were looking at the situation from two completely different points of view.

"I don't want to fight." Jim stated.  
It was the truth, plus now he was in for an even longer night with work.

"I don't either." Bird agreed.

"Look…" He breathed, "You might as well just go on home. I'm going to be here for a while."

"I've got to make sure Ivy's okay and then I'll go-"

"Ivy?" He interrupted.

"Yes." Bird said, "Ivy Pepper. I brought her here so I'm going to make sure she makes it out alive."

"Wait…" Was all he could manage to say, his mind racing.

The tall redhead in the hallway, who's childish way of speaking and moving seemed so odd.

"That-" He pointed towards the building, "That was Ivy Pepper." Moving his hand to about a child's height off the ground he repeated, "Ivy?"

There was nothing shy of a hundred questions on his mind now.  
How did she suddenly age up about ten years? Why was Bird suddenly so concerned about her?  
Why hadn't she told him they'd found the missing girl sooner?

"Jim!" Bullock yelled from across the street where he was just finishing up with a witness statement from the couple who'd first discovered the gruesome scene, "Am I on my own tonight or what?"

After waving a hand in acknowledgement towards his partner, Jim said to Bird, "We'll talk later?"

"Talk later." She agreed, just before she leaned in and pecked a quick kiss to lips. So fast it was over before he could even being to protest and point out he was on the job.

 **•••**

Hearing the bathroom door open, Jim looked up to see Bird walking out. Now dressed for bed; her make-up had been washed away and her hair piled up in a messy bun atop her head.

He felt a smile start to form on his face as he silently watched her drop the necklace and earrings she'd wore to the party that night on the top of the dresser and pick up her phone to check it for any missed connections.

Funny, he thought, that the one person capable of getting under skin worse than anyone he'd ever met could also be such a source of calm in his life.

Jim continued to watch her move around the bedroom and get things ready for the next day; she wasn't a fan of early mornings, so Bird would try and get as much done as she could the night before so she could hit the snooze button a few times before getting up.

She disappeared into the closet for a few minutes, presumably to decide on an outfit for work the next day seemingly unaware of his eyes on her.

This; he thought, he never wanted to give this up, the life he'd settled into with her.

"Hey." He called out to her, "You want to tell me why there's a wedding dress hanging in the closet?"

A few seconds passed in silence before the top half of Bird's body popped out of the open closet doorway.

"It's mine." Bird then corrected, "Or, it was… it used to be mine."

When he didn't say anything she scrambled to explain that with Mario's wedding coming up, she'd been getting fitted for various gowns and the boutique she'd been going to was the same one she'd gotten her dress through when she'd planned to marry Harvey Dent.

"It was already paid for and every time I went back for another fitting or pick something up, the owner kept reminding me it was there." She shrugged and disappeared out of view again, "When I was there with Ivy earlier this week, I decided to bring it here for now."

Jim glanced around their bedroom.  
Bird had already explained what had happened with Ivy to him earlier when he'd first gotten home. How she'd been aged up by one of Strange's creations the night Fish had given orders to kill her.

One thing she'd left out was that Ivy had been there in the house.

He felt like since he'd returned to work that he had even less of an idea of what was going on with Bird.

Being a detective meant he was pretty much always on call; usually by the time he made it home Bird was there and a part of him had just assumed she'd probably been there since she had gotten out of work herself.

Of course, that more than likely wasn't the case -but she rarely offered up details of her days to anyone.

Then it struck him how he hadn't even known about Ivy; or Bird's new found friendship with her, let alone that she'd brought her to their house.

Which started to beg the question of who else she had over.  
More than likely Oswald, he'd figured that, but with the way Nygma followed him everywhere now, Jim was left wondering if he'd been there in their house too.

For all he knew the place could be a revolving door for the various criminals she associated with.

He had to start being more involved at home, he thought to himself, he'd jumped head first into his job again and it hadn't left much time for anything else.

"I'm getting rid of it." Bird promised as she walked out into the room and shut the closet doors behind her, "I'm just not exactly sure how yet."

Bird stepped up to the foot of the bed and watched him, wondering when and why he'd started looking through the garment bags in their closet.

"What?"  
Jim's eyebrows rose in question as he spoke. Wondering why she was staring at him. She had an expression on her face like she were waiting for him to confess to something.

Misunderstanding and thinking she must have been waiting for him to say she didn't have to get rid of the dress or that it didn't bother him, he offered with a sleepy smile, "You don't have to get rid of it."

The words he thought she wanted to hear seemed to have the opposite effect; her face scrunched up, "Why would I keep it? I don't have any use for it."

Rather than taking it as the logical statement Bird had meant it for, Jim's forehead lined thinking she was hinting at something.

It felt like a trap, like no matter what he said next wasn't going to be what she wanted to hear, so instead he asked, "Are you saying you don't want to get married?"

Bird's head cocked to the side. All she'd originally wanted to know was why he'd opened the garment bag containing the dress.

Crossed wires and exhaustion had them both feeling more confused than ever.

"What is it with everyone and weddings lately?" Bird mumbled to herself as she left her stance and went to sit down on her side of the bed.

It was like the upcoming wedding seemed to be putting marriage on everyone's minds.

Falcone had made it clear to her not all that long ago that when she walked down the isle, it was going to be a big to-do just like Mario's wedding; despite Bird insisting she didn't want that.

Then the boutique owner kept insisting Bird take the dress home; it had been at the shop for well over a year now, but still.

When Bird argued that she didn't need the dress now as that particular wedding was never going to happen, Ivy had bluntly asked her why she didn't just wear the dress to marry Jim.

Bird shot that down for a variety of reasons, beginning with the fact that they'd never even discussed marriage and ending with how she was pretty sure it would be bad luck to use a dress she'd planned on wearing for someone else.

Jim, who originally had felt like he was being forced into a talk about their future was now feeling even more uncomfortable from the heavy silence in the room.

"Are you saying that?" He pushed.

"Does it matter?" She asked as she sat down and turned some to face him.

"I think it does." Jim answered.  
It hadn't mattered until suddenly it did.

He wasn't in a rush to get married, but it was just minutes before when she'd walked by that he'd thought to himself how much he loved coming home to her and then at the first mention of commitment, Bird looked like she could have leapt from her own skin.

"Why do I have to answer that tonight?" She laughed but it sounded desperate, "I'm being forced to participate in my half-brother's wedding and I'm not even sure I like the guy… you're in the middle of a homicide case-"

"You're deflecting." Jim interrupted her rambling.  
Apparently she could come up with a million excuses as to why they shouldn't talk about this right now but was unable to tell him what was actually on her mind.

"Look, I didn't bring the dress here to make you think I want you to propose or something." Bird pointed out. Then jumped back to the only thing she'd wanted him to explain all along, "Why were you going through my clothes anyways?"

"I wasn't." His voice raised, immediately defensive, "I came home one day and there was this huge bag hung up in there-" He motioned towards the closet, "What was I supposed to do?"

"Are you asking me to marry you?" Bird asked.

"Right now?" Jim answered, "No."

"Then why are we even talking about this?" She sighed.

He didn't answer right away. To begin with he wasn't even sure how they'd ended up in this seemingly pointless fight.  
But now he felt like if she didn't give him some kind of answer he wasn't going to be able to sleep.

Were they really on such drastically different pages about what they wanted?  
It wouldn't be first time and most likely not the last either, but this was different.

This was about their lives; the one they were sharing and building together and now he wasn't sure where they stood.

"It's not a big deal." Bird tried to wave a white flag of sorts. Give them both an out.  
They were exhausted and she was ready to call it a night.

"If it's not a big deal then why won't you answer me?" Jim's voice quieted.

"I just…" She shook her head.

It felt like someone had stitched her lips closed and none of what she wanted to say -what she should say, would come out.

It wasn't that after one failed engagement she was set against ever getting married, but a part of her was still messed up from it.

From putting so much time, money and energy into something that was supposed to be the best day of her life only to never get there.

The pressure of feeling like everything had be perfect.

She didn't want that part of it.

In her mind it was simple. She wanted Jim, wanted a life with him.  
If they were going to make that big of a commitment to each other than she didn't need it splashed across the papers or for it be labeled the event of the year.

And in that moment she'd have given anything to just say that.  
Just open her mouth and have the words fall out in a neat single file line.  
Each one as perfect and honest as the next.

But it didn't.

"I just think this works, you know?" She asked motioning between them, "…and I don't understand why we have to get married to prove that."

"If it's not broke, don't fix it?" Jim repeated back a dumbed-down version of what he thought she was trying to say.

"No, that's not-" She shook her head, "You don't get what I'm trying to say."

She rubbed her hands over her face.

"It's not a big deal." He repeated back what she'd said earlier.  
The same lame attempt she'd tossed out at ending a conversation that just seemed to sour with every new word.

"I love you!" Bird exclaimed, throwing her hands down on the mattress with a thud as she spoke.  
A child throwing a tantrum; hurting themselves when things don't go their way.

"Yeah." Jim cleared his throat, adjusted how he was sitting on the bed, scooting over to lay down, "I love you too."

"Jim…" His name came out as an apology and a protest all at once.

"I got a few hours to get some sleep before I'm due back at work, okay?"  
He leaned over and kissed her, turned the lamp next to his side of the bed off and laid down.

Conversation over,

Following suit, she turned her lamp off, further darkening room and slowly slid down until her head found the pillows.

It was a struggle, fighting against the urge to keep trying and explain what she meant. At this point it would only makes things worse.

Wires had been crossed. Intentions misunderstood. Feelings hurt.  
-And now fear had started to set in.

A familiar sickening feeling took over, as Bird turned onto her side and looked at the back of Jim's head.  
Here she was once again, hurting the people who meant the most to her -and sharing a bed with someone she couldn't feel more distant from.

 **•••**

* * *

 **A/N - Thank you for reading! I really hope you all liked the chapter!  
I can't believe tomorrow is the final episode of Gotham, you guys. I'm a mess of emotions over that. Haha  
**

 **Thanks to: xenocanaan, SmellYourScentForMiles, Shadow knight1121, AGBreads, Love. Fiction. 2019, Havana, xxXWolfsLullabyXxx, HarleyIsQueenx, Munyue, Adela and to the Guests who reviewed since my last update.**

 **If you're reading and enjoying the story, please consider taking the time to leave a review to let me know.  
I know updates have been slow lately, but your continued support means the world and knowing there is interest in Bird's story keeps me motivated.  
^_^**


	15. She's On the Loose

**XV - She's On the Loose**

" _There is nothing more dangerous, nothing more powerful, nothing more necessary and essential for survival than the lies we tell ourselves." - Megan Miranda, All the Missing Girls_

* * *

 **•••**

The beep signaling to begin the start of the voicemail sounded in Bird's ear.  
Pulling in a deep breath she began, "Jim, hey, it's me…"

Her voice trailed off and she internally cringed.  
Clearly, he'd know it was her. Not only from her voice but her name and number showing up on the screen.

She at first was thankful the call had went to voicemail and he hadn't answered, but now she was thinking talking to him might be better. If he was there waiting for her to explain she'd have blurted it all out instead of this message full of awkwardness.

"I, just…" She cleared her throat, "I'm going to be away for a little while. Probably just a day or so. It's not a big deal-"

Bird's eyes closed, she could have face-palmed.  
That was the same phrase they both said to one another during the fight the night before.  
The fact that both had felt the need to say that was a clear sign the exact opposite was true.

A laugh came out before she could bite it back. She melted down further into the driver's seat of her car.  
If it sounded that unhinged to her own ears she could only imagine to Jim it would sound like she was erratically cackling.

As if the last traces of sanity she possessed had broken apart.

"I'm fine." She promised. Holding her breath until the urge to keep laughing was gone, "I mainly just didn't want you to worry or flash back to the last time I left, because this is different… even though now I realize bringing that up probably doesn't make it sound very believable, but I just need to get away for a day or so. I'll be back soon. Promise."

Oh god, she stared up at the roof of the car in disbelief. Just when she thought it couldn't get any worse she found a way to make it just that.

She clasped the phone shut. Abruptly ending the message and trying to end the torture.

Just as fast, she opened the flip phone back up realizing she probably should have reiterated that she did love him, but it was too late now.  
And she couldn't risk trying to call him again. He was at work and probably too busy to answer but if she called again he might think something was wrong and pick up, then she'd be forced to try and explain further.

At this point the more she tried to explain anything the worse it got.

Leaning her head back against the leather headrest in the car, she pulled in a deep breath.

When the alarms had went off that morning it had felt far too early and a long time coming all at once.

Neither of them had done much sleeping.

Bird had been tossing and turning, replaying the entire disaster of a night the prior evening had turned into over and over in her mind.  
Forcing herself to not try and explain anything further.

It seemed like the more she said, the more she inadvertently hurt him.

Jim had spend the majority of the time staring up at the ceiling.

It wasn't just the disagreement with Bird weighing so heavily on him. I  
t was also, maybe even more so, how he'd heard Maxwell Symon say it was Barnes who'd thrown him through the wall.

He didn't have the first clue in how to approach this situation.  
A few times, when he'd felt the bed move from Bird's restlessness he'd almost asked her if she thought it was possible, but he stopped himself.

Mainly on the count of how she openly and vocally disliked Nathaniel Barnes.

He decided he'd discuss it with Bullock when he got to work then at some point he'd poke around his boss' office and see what evidence he could find.

The morning had seemed to pick up where the prior night had left off.

The alarms went off and Bird had uncharacteristically gotten up at the first one, without saying a word to him at that.

By the time they'd met back up downstairs, he was in a rush to get to work and talk to his partner so he opted out of waiting on the coffee to brew and mentioned he'd just grab a cup at the station.

Leaving Bird suspicious as she knew how terrible the coffee was there.

The expression on her face hadn't been lost on him, he caught sight of it.  
He knew they needed to talk about the things they'd said the night before, but he didn't have the time right then.

So he promised her they'd talk that night -and then left, or from Bird's point of view couldn't seem to get away from her fast enough,

 _We need to talk… tonight, okay?_

He'd been distracted that he hadn't kissed her bye and those actions coupled with such a daunting sentence had spooked her.

So much so, that she returned to her bad habit of running away and fled the house not long after he did.

Thrown a few things in a bag and called to let her secretary know she wouldn't be in today, more than likely for the next few days.  
Let her driver know he had the rest of the week off and then got in her own car and left it all behind.

The sound of her ringtone shook her from her thoughts and she knew who was calling her before she even opened her eyes to confirm it.

Just enough time had passed for Jim to have listened to the message she left and then scramble to call her back.  
Maybe to talk her out of it? Maybe to remind her they needed to talk?

She didn't know, but either way she wasn't up to having _that_ conversation with him.

So instead she silenced the phone and dropped it into the side pocket of her over night bag in the passenger seat of her car, before she grabbed the the bag to bring with her.

She didn't knock when she reached the front door of the house, just opened the door and walked inside. A few of the staff scurrying around through their morning duties gave a small pause to see who'd came in before continuing on their way.

Bird looked at the stairs and went further into the house, taking a left at the first hallway and heading for the dining room.

The spread of breakfast was on the serving dishes looked to have already gotten cold.

Strange, she thought, not like her best friend to skip out on a meal.

She eyed the bread basket, overflowing with croissants and muffins, beside that was a box of donuts. She squinted at them, debating on if she was hungry enough to eat anything yet.

Finally, she decided against it and moved towards the main sitting room expecting to find Oswald in there, but instead she found a very depressed Edward Nygma.

Laying on his side on the couch, a blanket draped over him, face half smashed into a pillow with his glasses pushed off center from the way he was lying.

"Morning…" Bird greeted.

He eyed her but didn't say anything.

"Where's Oswald?" She questioned.

"Around." He brought himself to say.

She started to leave the room but then stopped, curiosity getting the best of her and turned back as she asked, "What happened to you?"

"She's gone." Nygma said, pinning his eyes shut.

"She, who…?"

"Isabella."

"Who-" Bird started to ask but then realized that was the woman Oswald had told her about, the one who could be a doppelganger for Miss Kringle, "Oh…"

Unable to bite the back the first thing that came to mind she asked, "You kill her?"

"No!" He loudly denied.

Crossing the room, she sat down on the chair by the couch and questioned, "What happened?"

"She's dead."

"But you didn't-"

"No, I didn't."

Setting her bag down on the floor next to her feet, she asked, "Then what happened?"

"A car crash." He admitted, "They say she must have fell asleep at the wheel."

"Damn." Bird sank back further into the chair, her voice lacking the emotion of someone who actually cared, "It's just been a bad week all around, huh?"

"I loved her." Nygma openly admitted.

"There, there." She quietly said, as she reached out and patted his head.

He didn't budge.

"I should have told her that sooner than I did." He continued, "I spent too long trying to stay away from her for her own safety."

Bird's brows raised, she didn't think he'd known her long enough to spend it avoiding her.

"You thought you'd repeat what happened with Kristen?" Bird guessed.

"Yes." His voice was muffled as he tilted his face further into the pillow.

"But she wouldn't let me pull away." It was like someone had turned a faucet on and after barely speaking a word for the last day or so, he couldn't stop, "Isabella was so sure I wouldn't hurt her."

"Well…" Bird blew out a breath, "For what it's worth, I don't think you would have either."

He raised his head, angled his line of sight so he could see her.  
That was the first time someone else had said it too.

Oswald hadn't even shared the sentiment, in fact, he'd told him his breaking up with her to keep her safe would more so prove how much Isabella had meant to him.

"Why?" He asked, his voice was thick with gravel. Dry even.

Bird was one of the only people who'd even been kind to him when he was still working for the GCPD, she'd considered him a friend at one point and him, her.  
That had all changed when she thought he was trying to take Oswald away from her though. Of course, framing Jim for murder and getting him sent to Blackgate hadn't helped matters any either.

Then there was the incident of working for Hugo Strange to get information out of her brother at Arkham and threatening to kill him with noxious gas. It was only a knockout gas -but that didn't matter.  
He was sure that was the one thing she'd never forgive him for.

And now he wasn't sure if she was being genuine or cruel with what she was saying.

"Because… she didn't hurt you." Bird offered a one shoulder shrug and continued to pat his head with her hand, "Before you got together with Kristen, she wasn't nice to you, right?"

He slowly nodded, still eyeing her suspiciously.

"So…" Bird continued, "I think deep down, despite loving her, a part of you always wanted to hurt her. She hurt you first."

That didn't make it okay and the few times Bird had crossed paths with Kristen Kringle she'd liked her well enough, but she also understood the need to hurt someone who'd wronged her.

Accepting she was being genuine, he laid his head back down on the pillow.  
It didn't matter anyways.

Two women, who despite looking identical had been vastly different, he'd loved them both.  
And now they were both gone.

Maybe Bird was right and he had reasons behind killing Miss Kringle that he hadn't fully let himself admit, but at this point it didn't matter.  
Love had caused him nothing but pain.

Oswald, who'd been pacing around the house that morning, had gone back to check on Nygma. Ask him for about the tenth time that morning if he was sure he didn't want to come and eat breakfast, came to a dead stop in the doorway of the room.

He hadn't heard any of Bird and Nygma's conversation, but he'd stumbled into the room to see what appeared to be Bird petting his head.

"Bird!" He shouted, stomping his good leg down with a thud, "What are you doing?!"

"Oswald." She jumped to her feet, startled from the outburst and feeling like she'd been caught with her hand in the cookie jar stared at him wide-eyed.

With a strained smile, the vein in his forehead pulsed, "What are you doing?"  
Then trying to make a quick recovery, added, "Here, I mean. I wasn't aware you were stopping by."

"Can I stay here?" She questioned, leaning down and picking her bag up from the floor she slung it over her shoulder and waited on him to answer her.

His eyes darted back and forth between her and Nygma before he asked, "Why?"

"I think Jim is going to break up with me tonight." Bird stated, "Because I didn't agree to marry him."

"What?" Oswald's face twisted up.

"He proposed to you?" Nygma questioned, raising his head from the pillow. For the first time his tortured mind was getting a small break from the pain and constant thoughts of Isabella swirling around.

"No." She answered.

"I don't understand." Oswald nearly huffed.

"I don't either!" Bird tossed her arms out to the side and appeared more confused than both of them put together.

"Come." Oswald instructed, motioning for her to follow him, "Leave Ed be. He's going through enough."

Once they were out in the hallway, he took an uncomfortably tight hold on her arm and limped away, dragging her with him until he was sure they were out of earshot from Nygma.

"What are you doing?" He demanded to know again.

Shaking free of his grip, she shot him a look and held onto her now sore arm, "I already told you-"

"I mean with Ed!" He shouted.  
His entire body shook from the outburst.

"Talking!" She yelled back.

"Then why were you petting him?" Oswald demanded to know.  
Jabbing a thumb into his own chest he whisper-yelled, "I'm supposed to be the one comforting him through this tragic loss!"

"Oh my god." Bird rolled her eyes, "I was just talking to him. Not like I was trying to put the moves on him, Oswald."

"He is in a very vulnerable place right now, and you-" He motioned to her, "Put people under your spell all the time and you know how I feel about him."

"I put people under my spell?" Her head tilted to the side and she staved off a laugh, "First off; I don't know what that even means. Secondly, I have zero interest in him, okay?"

With a nod, Oswald let out the breath he'd been holding.  
He'd overreacted, he knew that, but Bird had a way of effortlessly getting people to fall for her -even if she pretended to not know her appeal.

"You're my best friend." Bird reminded him, her dimples showing as she teased, "I'm not trying to steal your man."

"Bird-"

"And if he's so vulnerable, why aren't you in there taking advantage of it?" She continued to press, "I mean that's what you did to to me. Waited until I was in a really bad place and then _kissed_ me."

Being reminded of one of his lowest points left him feeling like he'd shrunk down a good few inches.

"That was years ago." He sighed at being reminded of that night and what he'd done.

It sounded terrible, but that's what it had been.  
He'd waited, waited until she was in a bad place with Harvey and upset over Liza being killed and then he'd made a move.

He knew it was wrong, but at the time he hadn't cared.  
She'd always brought out the worst in him.

"Does Jim Gordon know you're here?" He changed the subject.  
The last thing he needed was Jim showing up at the house pissed in middle of everything else going on.

"I doubt it." Bird admitted, "Probably assumes I'm with Ivy at this point."

"Who?" His expression twisted once again.

"Doesn't matter."  
She waved a dismissive have through the air, "Can I stay here or not?"

"Of course you can." He almost sounded defeated, like he couldn't have said no, even if he'd wanted to.

"Thank you." She started to move past him and head for the stairs to put her bag down in the room she'd always stayed in, but he stopped her, "What is going on with you and Jim?"

"That's just it." Bird rubbed her forehead, "I don't even know. Somehow we got on the topic of marriage and even though he wasn't actively asking me to marry him, he got upset that I wouldn't agree to it and then this morning he said we needed to talk tonight and that's never a good sign-"

Holding a hand up, he silenced her and asked, "And you're what? Hiding out until he forgets what's going on?"

"No." She shook her head, "Or not exactly. I just need a little time to clear my head and figure out how to explain my side of it to him."

Accepting the answer, he offered, "Breakfast?"

Bird declined, saying she mainly was hoping to catch a few hours of sleep since she hadn't been able to the night before.

She'd only made it a few steps down the hallway before turning back around and starting, "On the off chance Jim does show up here-"

"I haven't heard from you." He eased her mind, "I'll let the staff know the same. Just…" His voice lowered, "Stay away from Ed."

"Deal." She agreed.

Until she heard him mumble something under his breath about how he hadn't gone to all of this trouble just to have someone else swoop in and distract Ed.

"You didn't…" She whispered.

He'd been caught, not that it was something he was hiding from her, but Ed could never know he was behind Isabella's death.

"Oswald!" She whisper-yelled.

"It had to be done." He hobbled back up to her, so close their faces were just inches apart, "She knew how I felt and she wouldn't end things between them."

Bird listened in a mix of sickness and horror as Oswald explained how he'd went to Isabella to warn her away from Ed, but in the midst of the conversation, she'd realized he loved him too.  
Then still had the nerve to say she wasn't breaking up with Ed, that she loved him and had no intention of calling it quits.

"So you had her killed?" Bird's eyes near frantically darted back and forth over her friend's face, "Oswald, how could you? Do you have any idea what you've done?

Before he could defend his actions further, she complained, "He's going to kill you, you know that, right? If he finds out he's going to kill you. And then I'm going to have to kill him and then inevitably someone will come after me. You've just sentenced us all to death!"

"Always so dramatic." Oswald stared up at the ceiling for a moment, "He'll never find out -and even if he did, perhaps he'd understand why such drastic actions needed to be taken.

"The reasoning doesn't matter." She repeated, "I know that because if you'd taken Harvey away from me or tried to take Jim -I'd kill you."

"You wouldn't." He seemed nearly positive of that.

"I would." She was equally as sure.

Repeating something she'd said to him not long ago, he pointed out, "Killing me would destroy you."

"It would." She agreed, "But if you did that, if you knowingly hurt me that bad, I'd have to kill you -and you're right, I wouldn't survive that myself, but I'd still do it."

They stared at each other in silence, before she turned to leave and he frantically called out, "Bird! Ed, he… he can never know."

"I'm the last person on the face of this earth that would betray you like that." She asserted before shaking her head and letting the disappointment flood out in her voice, "You better have covered your tracks damn well."

With that she left him alone in the hallway as she headed for the stairs.

 **•••**

Oswald was startled slightly from his slumber when it felt like the mattress he was laying on had shifted some.

He kept his eyes pinned shut, laying on his back with his face angled towards the ceiling.

It was probably nothing, he tried to fall back asleep.

Being awoken at all hours of the night wasn't something out of the usual.  
After all, his own father had warned him of the ghosts wandering the halls in the old mansion.

Often times he could shrug any strange occurrence off, block out the whispers and disembodied echoes and fall back under sleep's sweet spell.  
Which he almost succeeded in that night -until he felt the slightest touch on the side of his face.

He sat straight up, startled and fighting for a breath.  
Only for the horror to come to life when he realized someone was sitting in the bed with him.

It took just mere seconds to realize the solid figure beside him was only Bird.

But those seconds had passed by like breathless hours.  
His heart was beating erratically and his lungs had been deprived of all traces of oxygen.

"Bird!" He gasped, a hand on his chest, "What… why… what…."

"What are you doing?" He barked when he was able to catch his breath enough to form words.

"I can't sleep." She complained.  
Her lips in a full pout.

An expression that previously would have gotten him to give her anything she wanted, but not anymore.  
Those feelings he had for her were strictly in the past -or so he told himself.

Funny how the tables had turned though, he thought of how it was just a few years ago that he'd break into her apartment, sometimes just to stand there and watch her sleep.  
How he'd trace her face with his fingers and feel like her skin was emitting electricity.

His hand jerked up to the side of his face where the ghost of her touch still lingered on his skin.

"Perhaps that's because you slept all day when everyone else was awake." He scooted up, leaning his back against the headboard.  
Unable to stop himself from wondering if his father's heart condition was genetic.

Bird had just given him such a fright he was sure she'd shaved years off of his life.

"Jim Gordon?" He guessed the reasoning behind his friends bout of insomnia.

"No." Bird was fast to answer, "Well, not entirely. I mean he does keep calling me, but-" Shaking her head as if she could rattle the thoughts of him loose, she admitted, "I have to ask you something."

The breath he'd finally been able to take was forcibly expelled from his lungs again.

They were both firm believers in the element of surprise and this time she had the advantage.

Reaching out he turned the lamp on -on the nightstand next to the bed, only to be scolded for Bird who complained it was too bright, even though it was in reality a rather dim bulb.

"Oswald!" She complained when he made no move to turn it back out.

With an irritated huff, she leaned across him, her fingers fumbling around the lamp until she'd managed to darken the room again.

His entire body tensed when her skin had brushed over his.  
He could smell the alcohol mixed with something sweet on her breath when she'd exhaled on her way over him.  
Wine, he guessed.

As she retreated back to where she'd been sitting crossed leg on the other side of the bed, her hair tickled the end of his nose. Such a familiar scent and somehow still as captivating as the first time he'd witnessed it.

His fists clenched at his sides, restraining himself from grabbing onto her to hold her in place, how he'd wanted to bury his nose in her hair.  
Take in a lung full of her.

It had been a while since she'd elicited such a response from him.  
Could she tell? He wasn't sure.

"Why'd you have Isabella killed and-"  
She started to ask.

"You know the reasons very well!" His voice was almost in a hiss and shot out so fast he didn't let her finish what she was trying to ask.

"Because you love Ed?"

Oswald's lips straightened into a thin line.  
His eyes blinked several times, trying to readjust to the dark.

Her words were fuzzy around the edges.  
Slurred just enough he could pick up on it.

"Bird…" Her name was accompanied with a sigh.

Her slightly inebriated state was nothing compared to the messes he'd seen in her before.  
He was fairly sure she spent a good six months straight in a mixture of drunk and high after she'd moved out of her parents house.

"But you loved me too, right?"  
Her throat was dry as she croaked out the question.

Now he understood why she'd insisted on keeping the lighting in the room so low.  
Like a confessional, because that's what she wanted from him.

All cards on the table. Stripped bare.  
Unadulterated honesty.

The irony of it also wasn't lost on him. Every single time he'd tried to profess his feelings in the past she'd gotten mad.  
He still hadn't forgotten the time she put her hand over his mouth; as if she could shove the words back in and they could start over.

"Now?" He questioned, the word tasted bitter. Coated his tongue, "Now… today, tonight? Right now? When you've taken Jim Gordon as a lover and you want me to answer that?"

"I need to know." Bird insisted, "You said you did, but you never tried to kill Harvey Dent."

Oswald's face twisted up.  
It was just that morning she'd told him she'd have killed him if he'd tried and now here she was, sounding almost hurt and offended that he'd had Nygma's lover killed and not hers.

"Is it because you love him more than you loved me?"  
Her voice didn't waver but something in it sounded shaky to him; she was trying to hide how invested she was in his answer.

Holding a hand over a wound trying to slow the bleeding but the blood just keeps spilling out between your fingers.

"No." Oswald answered, "It's a very different situation."

He surprised himself by the softness in his own voice.  
The need to console her outweighed the need for his own comfort.

And he was sure a part of him hated her for that, for what she always did to him.

She'd hurt him, over and over, and while she'd swear none of it was intentional it didn't make the rejection he'd faced from her over the years sting any less.

"Different how?"  
The mattress shifted more as she scooted ever so closer.

Not just wanting an answer; but needing it.  
The same way one needs water; as if her life depended on it.

"You are the first and the very best friend I've ever had."  
Oswald gave in.

Why not give her what she wanted?  
He couldn't stop; not even to save himself.

He'd already been sliced open; might as well let her poke around in the wound too.

"You didn't want to hurt me like that?" She tried to fill in the gaps.

"Quite the opposite." Oswald bit down on the side of his tongue. Honesty came as hard to him as lying did to others, but she could always pull it out of him.  
Like an abscessed tooth that just had to go and once it was gone the infection would keep spilling out.

"You were mine." He continued, "You brought Harvey Dent into your life. Betrayed me -and for that I wanted you to hurt. To suffer."

The room was silent and he stared straight ahead of him. His eyed had adjusted more to the darkness again and he couldn't bring himself to look over in her direction; to read her face.

If he had, he'd have seen her lips were nestled into a crooked smile.  
That there was a spark in her eyes.

As much as she rebelled against someone trying to own her, there was also something inside of her that came alive in the darkness. Twisted love was still love after all.

One of her many broken parts fed off of it.

Upon further consideration she realized her relationship with Harvey filled that category too.  
The possessiveness. The power struggle.

It was sick, even Bird could admit that, but that didn't make it any less true.

Mistaking her silence as her being put off by the admission, he further explained, But…" He sighed, "You were already such a prominent piece in my life that I thought I couldn't live without you."

"Awww." She cooed, "You didn't kill Harvey because you couldn't risk losing me."

Having her in his life in any form, even if she was romantically linked with someone else, had outweighed his hate for the man she'd been with.

Of course, Bird thought, had Oswald have known how turbulent things had gotten between her and Harvey, then nothing could have saved him.

He winced, no one had touched him but it felt like someone had carved through his skin and busted through bone with red hot iron.  
Tearing him up inside somewhere around his heart.

She'd gotten her way. Gotten what she wanted -as always.  
No matter the toll it had taken on him.

She was satisfied and he was swallowed up in resentment.

Briefly, his mind flashed back to the argument they'd gotten in, in which he declared she was a terrible person.  
It was true, he thought, she was awful, at times the very worst -but he didn't want her any other way.

With his eyes closed and a breath settled in his lungs he vowed he wouldn't fall under that spell again.  
It had taken him years to move past the distorted love he'd felt for her,

It was suffocating.  
Maddening to bounce back and forth from wanting to see his best friend happy and then liking her best when she was bent and broken.

Self-hatred and denial.  
She'd always brought out the worst in him.

But things were different now. They weren't the same people they used to be and now he loved Ed.  
And despite having been drove to kill Isabella to have him, he still thought what he felt for Ed was brighter.

In the times when he'd allowed his mind to wander, consider a life with Edward Nygma at his side as far more than just a friend, it felt like he'd been drifting into the sky.  
Weightless. Constructed of clouds.

Back when his mind had entertained those very same thoughts about Bird, it couldn't have been more different. He'd hadn't just wanted her. He'd wanted her broken and bleeding with nowhere to turn but him.  
It wasn't right, he'd be the first to admit it, but it didn't stop the impulses.

No, he vowed to himself, he'd wouldn't go back there again. Ever.

There was movement on the mattress again and he thought she was leaving at first, that was until she scooted around and leaned against the headboard beside him.

"You never answered me." He spoke.  
Taking advantage of the line he'd just opened between them.

Bird was about to point out hadn't asked her anything, but he continued without prompting, "Two people so closely bonded are bound to confuse friendship for something more at different times."

She scooted down some to a more comfortable position and let out a small laugh, "I seem to recall saying something like that to you once."

What she didn't know was that those were her exact words repeated back to her.  
It was a conversation he used to play over and over in his mind.

One that had taken place within a week of the time he'd kissed her.

He'd often wondered if he'd been honest with her that day if life would have turned out a different way.

"You did." He agreed, "And I asked you if you were speaking from personal experience? You never answered me."

"Oswald." Her tone was airy. Dismissive even. "That was years ago."

A maddened smile spread over his lips.  
Typical Bird, it probably hadn't been twelve hours since she brought up the night he'd kissed her and now here she was trying to play the conversation off as though the passing of time had nullified it.

But she wasn't getting off that easy.

"You never answered me." He repeated, rolling his head to the side and watching her in the dark of the room.

"It would have been so simple, you know?" Bird let out a sigh, extending the the exhale much longer than necessary, "We're so much alike."

"One in the same." He agreed.

"Birds of a feather." She softly laughed at her attempt to joke and succeeded in earning a chuckle from him.

"That's not an answer." Oswald pointed out.

His breath hitched in his throat when she scooted closer. Snaking her arms around his arm to hold onto it, she leaned against his side, head on his shoulder.

The movement was like a time machine, transporting him back to all of the times when she'd done that in the past.  
The immediate riff of tension that effected his every muscle accompanied with the shock that she was fully content being that close with him.

Before her, no one else had.

The only person who'd ever been affectionate with him before Bird, was his mother.

No, he swore, he wouldn't fall for her again.

"My dad-" Despite the laugh accompanying her words, her tone was melancholic, "That's what he was terrified of."

Bird remembered all the fights she'd gotten into with her father before moving out of Wayne Manor.  
How Thomas Wayne could never understand why she was so fond of Oswald.

As an adult she understood where he'd been coming from now.  
She had been a teenager when they first met after all and Oswald more than several years her senior.

It had to have seemed wildly inappropriate.  
And it was -just not in the ways her parent's had been convinced of.

"He thought you were a predator." Bird laughed again, the movement jarring his entire body with as close as they were, "You are -but not the type he was referring to."

She laughed again.

"Still not an answer." He pointed out.

"And then your mother-" She paused, "The exact opposite."

This time it was Oswald who let out a bittersweet laugh.  
He beloved mother, who on on occasion took it upon herself to tell them what beautiful grandchildren they'd make for her.

' _Shush. A mother knows these things_ '  
She'd say in her thick accent whenever they'd protest or argue with her no-so-subtle nudges.

"Oh, god!" Bird exclaimed, with Oswald's arm still intertwined with her own, Bird reached up and put her hands over her face, "Your mother! I… I stabbed you! God, she'd be so upset with me."

"She'd have been far more upset over your dating Jim." Oswald smiled, "You know how much she disliked the police."

"All liars, they are." Bird repeated what she'd heard Mrs. Kapelput say on several occasions.

The room fell into a mournful silence.  
And for a moment Bird thought he'd forgotten his original point.

"I want an answer." Oswald cleared his throat. He didn't turn his head but he looked to the side where Bird was still nestled against him, "I've been honest with you."

"Yes."

He waited with inflated lungs, afraid to breathe and miss what she'd say next.  
But there was only silence.

Yes, what?  
Was she agreeing that he'd been honest or finally giving him an answer?

Whens he didn't offer anything else up, he complained, "Bird."

"You are my very best friend. My favorite person." She reminded him, "You know how much I love you."

The sigh he let out seemed to deflate him from head-to-toe, she really wasn't going to give him a straight answer. After it all. His confessions and open honesty and she would dare still bite her own tongue and leave him hanging?

"Our bond is so strong." She added just when he'd lost hope, "And there might have been occasions, over the years when those feelings we muddied and lines blurred. Like I said back then; it happens."

A jolt of shock and confusion prickled at his skin; like he'd been zapped.

"Why?" He demanded to know, "Over all these years. As many times as I tried to tell you… why didn't you ever tell me that?"

"Because I couldn't lose you." Bird answered solemnly, "You are the most important person to me and anything more than that would ruin it. Ruin us."

"And the feelings disappear as soon as they surface?"  
He recalled something else she'd said during their conversation years ago.

"That too." She nodded.

"But it doesn't matter." She dropped her head against his shoulder again, "As you once told me, we're inevitable, you and I. Intertwined fates and all that."

"I thought you didn't believe in fate." He reminded, as he posture loosened from the tense pose he'd been stuck in.

"I don't think that I do." She shrugged, "But I believe in you -and that's counts for something, right?"

"More than you know, Bird." He responded.

 **••• The next morning •••**

"Morning."  
The greeting was curt, abrupt.

Bird squinted her eyes open to see Nygma pacing at the foot of the bed.

She blinked her sleep heavy eyelids a couple times.  
Making sure what she was seeing was real before anger coursed through her.

Why the the hell was he in her room while she was sleeping?

With a noise somewhere between a grunt and a groan, she flung her arms out to either side in an attempt for leverage to sit up -only when she did someone else let out a cry of pain.

"Oswald?" Bird's voice was groggy.

Blinking again she looked around and realized she was still in her best friend's room.  
That they must have fell asleep when they were talking the night before.

Oswald sat up, about to demand to know why she'd just slapped him awake but then he caught movement in his eyesight and greeted, "Ed?"

"Oswald." Ed gave a single nod, "I've given some thought to what you told me yesterday. About how I needed to heal. To move on."

Oswald reached up and rubbed his eyes, glanced over at where Bird was sitting beside him and then back to Ed.

The day before he'd had too much of Ed's wallowing and the loud opera music he'd been playing, insisting it had been Isabella's favorite and he'd given his friend a verbal lashing.

Told him he needed to get up and stop laying around. That it was depressing and unhealthy.  
He couldn't keep laying around in a dark room by himself.

He'd also casually slipped in how in order to heal, Ed would need to move on from the loss.

His words woke Bird up more and she straightened her back some from the slouch she'd been slumped in.

Maybe Nygma really did feel the same towards Oswald, she'd wondered about it for quite some time but the tall man with an affinity for riddles was awkward and she couldn't get a good read on his emotions -other than he was fond of her best friend.

"Should I go?" Bird offered, already scooting over to the edge of the bed.

"No." Nygma answered at the same time Oswald nearly barked, "Yes!"

Bird hovered in a half-sitting, half-standing position over the bed before sitting back down and avoiding Oswald's scowl at her not leaving them alone.

Nygma clasped his hands and explained, "I need to go to the spot where she was taken from me."

He pushed his glasses back up on his nose with a single finger and then his eyes darted between the pair of best friends; both of whom looked startled.

Oswald stammered, unable to locate the right words.

"Why?" Bird blurted out, worried he might find something that could tie the crash back to Oswald, "What good is going to the scene of the crime-" Her words were cut short by the thrust of an elbow in her ribs.

Nearly doubled over in pain, she squeaked out, "The scene of the accident! What good is that going to do?"

Turning his head away from where he'd been staring at Bird in disbelief, Oswald nodded, "She has a point, Ed."

Moving in and taking a seat on the foot of the bed, Nygma repeated, "I need to heal."

"In the same place that broke your heart?" Bird arched a brow, "How does that make any sense?"

"It doesn't!" Oswald near frantically agreed.

"Isabel would want you to be happy and not dwell on her loss-"  
This time it was Oswald who got the point of Bird's elbow lodged in his side.

"Isabella." She corrected, if for no other reason than just to return the show blow he'd dealt when she verbally slipped up.

"Isabella." Oswald strained, "Of course."

Ed stayed sitting where he was, only his eyes moving between them.  
He might have only known her for a short time, but he'd spoken enough about the new love of his life for Oswald to know her name.

Without another word to then, Nygma got up and left the room.

Once she was sure he was out of earshot, Bird whispered, "There's nothing there that could lead back to you?"

"Nothing." Oswald answered.

She cocked her head to the side, giving him an expression that silently read he better have crossed all the T's and dotted all the I's.  
Loose ends never did anyone any favors.

 **•••**

"Ivy?" Bird said as she spotted the redhead sitting on the steps outside of her townhouse.

"There you are." Ivy grinned ear-to-ear as she enthusiastically hopped up and dusted her long green coat off.

Glancing around them Bird questioned, "How long have you been here?"

"A while." She admitted, her eyes going to where Bird had her keys in hand, "You got any food?"

Tilting her head back and closing her eyes, Bird sighed. She wouldn't call what she was feeling hung over, not exactly, but she sure didn't feel well enough to deal with this today.

"Look, Ivy-" She started.

"Uh-oh." Ivy crossed her arms over her chest, tucking her chin in and already dreading whatever was about to be said next.  
Bird was using her serious tone.

"I've had a long night and I really need to talk to Jim, so-"

"He left like an hour ago." Ivy filled her in.

Stepping forward, Bird grabbed onto Ivy's arm and stole a glance at the watch she wearing.

Dropping the younger woman's arm back to her side, Bird cursed under her breath. She'd missed him.  
Silly her for thinking maybe he'd take a day off in case she came back home.

"You saw him?" Bird questioned'

She nodded.

"Did he say anything?" She tried to gather more information.

"He asked about you." She shrugged, "If I'd seen you and I said no."  
Rolling her eyes she added, "I mean, duh! I came here to see you."

"How did he seem?"

Ivy's face scrunched up, "Distracted. I don't know?" She shrugged again, "Definitely grumpy. Does he have any other moods?"

"Yes, he does." Bird brushed past her and unlocked the door.

She walked inside of her house and left it opened behind her; Ivy wasted no time in catching up. Once she got the door shut behind her she headed straight into the kitchen to raid the cabinets.

"I'm going to take a shower." Bird yelled out, "Remember, if you steal something, I'll know!"

Ivy was leaned over searching the refrigerator for decent left overs when she heard her and couldn't help but roll her eyes.

Bird was her friend, aside from Selina her only other friend -she wouldn't steal from her.  
Well, not unless she had a really good reason at least.

By the time Bird had finished showering and gotten ready for the day, Ivy had already finished off some left over Chinese food and pizza from the fridge. She'd also eaten several handfuls of cereal dry; straight from the box.

Then had fixed a bowl with cereal and milk before deciding she didn't want it and got into a package of snack crackers.

Bird slowed to a stop when she caught sight of the mess on the center island of the kitchen.

"You took a really long time to shower." Ivy complained.

"And you made a really big mess." She retorted.

"I was hungry!" Ivy defended.

Crossing the room, Bird sat down at the island and glanced over to the coffee maker; which clearly hadn't been used that day. She wondered why Jim would have been in such hurry to leave that morning -was he trying to get out of there in case she came home?

When she'd went to shower she'd checked the closet and nothing was missing, so he hadn't packed up to leave - at least not yet.

"I got you something!" Ivy squealed as she started slapping her hands down on her coat that she'd carelessly tossed onto the counter to search the pockets.

Bird watched as a fork she'd been eating with fell to the floor with a clatter, but Ivy made not attempt at picking it up.

Then it struck her, that this must have been the same level of irritation Alfred felt when she and Bruce would tear through the kitchen and make a mess -then not bother to clean it up.

"Hold out your arm." She instructed.

"Why?" Bird's tone of voice along with her expression lodged a complaint.

"Just do it." Ivy insisted. "And close your eyes.

Deciding she didn't want to spend the next several minutes arguing with a child, Bird closed her eyes and held out her arm.

She squinted one eye open when she felt Ivy slid something over her hand and onto her wrist.

"Okay!" Ivy announced, "You can look now."

Pulling her arm back, Bird looked down to see the redhead had adorned her wrist with a bracelet. The cording was a dark, yet shiny purple with a braided band design and in the center was an infinity symbol charm that read 'BFF'.

Raising her head, she saw Ivy was proudly displaying a bracelet on her own wrist, identical in every way except the band was green instead of purple.

"Did you make these?" Bird questioned.

Ivy nodded, "I worked on them all night. Do you like it?"

"It's pretty." Bird carefully said.

Ivy's excitement went from ten down to zero in less than a second, "You hate it."

"No, I don't." Bird asserted, "It's sweet. I just have a lot on my mind is all."

"Like what?"

"Just stuff." She answered, "For so long Jim and I were on the same page about things and now that he's back at GCPD, I feel like it's all falling apart."  
She couldn't stop the bitter taste from rising up when she added, "After he explicitly assured me it wouldn't change anything between us."

"I could help." Ivy offered.

"Yeah?" She laughed and thought of when Bruce would always try to get her to tell him her problems insisting he might be able to help. Laughable at the time considering what she was going through was far outside his area of expertise.

"I'm serious." Ivy leaned over the counter some to move in closer as if she had a secret to share, "We can make him quit the GCPD."

When Bird gave her a disbelieving look and appeared to be on the verge of laughing, Ivy went back to her coat and retrieved a small vial.

"I made this from a strain of cananga odorata." Ivy displayed the vial of liquid in her palm, "A little sniff of this and I can make guys do anything I tell them to."

"Wait." Bird wasn't laughing anymore, "Are you serious?"

"I've always been good with plants." She reminded her, "We could get Jim to do _whatever_ you want."

"Tempting -but no thanks." Bird shut that down before she let herself think too long on it.

"Why not?" Ivy asked.

Bird watched her, realizing this was what she'd been using to get all the rich men of Gotham to give her expensive gifts.  
That had been what she was talking about when she'd smugly told Selina she had her ways of getting what she wanted.

"Because I don't want to change him." Bird said, "Plus, when it wears off he'd be pissed."

Ivy laughed. She didn't understand fully.  
If you could get what you wanted then why not go for it?

Probably love, she guessed, it sounded so complicated.

"Thank you." Bird said, "For the offer and the bracelet."

Ivy slipped the bottle back into her coat pocket and started to pull her coat on. Keeping her eyes cast down towards the floor with her every movement.

She didn't understand why Bird wouldn't take her help.  
Rejection stings; no matter the form.

"No one has ever made me anything like this before." Bird admitted, looking down to her wrist at the bracelet, "Thank you."

"You'll never take it off?" Ivy asked hopeful, "I'll never take mine off."

"I won't take it off." She promised; earning a wide smile from Ivy.

 **•••**

It was a while later that Bird was making her way towards the police station with a drink carrier in hand holding two drinks.  
Two coffees. One iced and one hot.

It was the perfect excuse to go see Jim.  
She saw no coffee had been made at the house and knew for a fact the GCPD coffee was terrible.

After spending over a day avoiding him, she'd come to terms with the fact that he was right; they did need to talk.

She'd also realized running off on him probably wasn't the best idea, after all, if he really wanted to call it quits between them her not being there wouldn't stop that.

But the more she'd given thought to it in the shower that morning the more she'd considered she'd possibly jumped to the wrong conclusion.

She'd just assumed needing to talk would be a bad thing; the nuclear option. That he was going to break up with her.

Born with a mind that was always set on a course to worse case scenarios was one of her curses.

In reality, the fight hadn't been that bad. I  
t was more stupid than anything and they were both exhausted.

Maybe he'd mean they actually needed to talk when their minds were clear and they could communicate more openly. Dig themselves out of the whole they kept making deeper.

It had also since dawned on her that maybe what he'd been so upset about was feeling like she wasn't taking their relationship as seriously as he was.  
One of his ongoing complaints towards her was how she didn't take anything seriously enough.

That couldn't be further from the truth. At least when it came to them, she took what they had very seriously. Now she just had to make him see that.

She wasn't entirely sure where to begin with that; aside from asking him to take the rest of the day off so they could sort things out.  
After all, the problem wasn't all on her end. She didn't get to see nearly enough of him now that he was back to work.

He could give her one afternoon.

"Miss Wayne."

Shaken from her thoughts, Bird looked over to see Captain Barnes standing at the back of his parked car.

"Captain Barnes." She greeted back. Forcing a smile and planning to keep walking past him across the street and over to the station.

"Usually we have to drag the scum in here kicking and screaming; not very often they walk right in."

She came to a stop.  
What the hell was wrong with him?

"Excuse me?" She turned back around to face him and walked closer.

He looked her over.  
It was sickening how someone so guilty could be allowed to walk around like a law abiding citizen.  
So free. She deserved to live out her years in a cage at the very best.

"Do we have a problem?" Bird questioned.  
She'd noticed him being rude to Don Falcone at the engagement party a few days ago, but had brushed it off.

Calling out to her on the street like this was something she hadn't expected at all.

"My apologies." His tone sharp, "You must not be used to people seeing under that human mask you wear. Seeing how ugly and guilty you are underneath it."

She wished she had a good comeback. Something to say that would knock him down a few feet; but she was more shocked than anything.

His eyes squinted at her.

 _Guilty_  
 _Guilty_  
 _Guilty_

The word echoed around in his head as he stared at her.  
Watched the the flesh melt away from her face to reveal the vile creature underneath.

Shadowed and wicked.

 **Guilty**

The hair on the back of Bird's neck pricked up.

Nathaniel Barnes had never scared her.  
Not a single time in all of their past dealings.

But something was wrong.  
Something was off and she became overly aware they were the only ones out on the side street.

She'd been in enough cat and mouse games to know what it felt like to be both the hunter and the prey.

Taking a step back, her eyes darted back over towards the side entrance to the GCPD building.

The glance she took to gauge her chances of getting inside was quick, almost subtle. But not quite inconspicuous enough.

He'd taken a step closer to make up for the distance she'd put between them.

"Something wrong?" He asked.

"No." Her throat felt tight. Closed off. "Jim's expecting me, so I should probably get in there."

She nodded towards the building, but didn't dare take her eyes of him.

 **Liar**

The word burned in his mind. He knew for a fact Jim didn't know she was there.  
His top detective had been distracted the prior day and he'd overheard Jim telling Bullock he wasn't sure where Bird was.

She took a step closer to the building, but he intercepted.

He couldn't let her go inside. Too risky.  
He'd been formulating a plan to clean up the city. Rid it of it's infection.

There was much work to still be done and he intended on getting Jim's help with that.

His hand seized her arm and he jerked her back towards the car.

The drink carrier in her hand fell to the ground. Coffee swirled in a mess on the pavement.

"You're out of your mind!" She hissed followed by a screech of pain when he slammed her back against the car to keep her from slipping away.

"No." He growled, "For the first time in my life, I'm seeing things clearly. I see you and how guilty you are."

Her heart thundered.  
He was too strong and had her pinned.

"All these years of putting my trust in the system. The same system that let you and Penguin back out on the streets." He continued, "Do you know the amount of restraint it took to hold myself back from taking justice into my own hands?"

Bird squirmed trying to get free. Her purse slid from her shoulder and down her arm and onto the ground next to where her feet were frantically kicking for footing and leverage to escape.

"No, you wouldn't. Because you don't know what self restraint is. You lie and you steal. You're a murderer. A criminal. Guilty!" His voice barely sounded human any longer.

Bird flailed, her balled up fists making a few spots of contact against his broad chest but he didn't even feel the impacts.

"Get off me!" She shrieked.

"But now I am the law. I am judge, jury and executioner and you are guilty!" His voice roared out, his hand clasping around her throat and she didn't stand a chance.

Several seconds passed, which felt like agonizing hours to her, until she went limp.

Barnes looked down, Bird's feet were hovering a good few inches from the ground.  
He'd lifted her up with one single hand.

And just like when he'd threw Dr. Maxwell Symon through a wall -they were light as feathers in his grip.

He took a step back, let go and watched her body crumple to the ground like a discarded piece of waste.

Looking around to make sure they were still alone, he straightened out his suit and felt his pockets for the keys to his car.

"Damn it." He muttered, he must have left them inside on his desk.

Opening up the unlocked door he pulled the lever to pop the trunk, picked Bird up and dropped her inside the small space next to where he'd been keeping a shotgun.  
Out of the corner of his eye he saw her purse on the ground and knew he couldn't leave that evidence behind.

He tossed the bag in and slammed the trunk shut.

Barnes walked back into the building with one goal in mind; get his keys and deal with her at a secondary location.

Seemed like an easy enough plan, that was until he opened the door of his office to a startled Jim Gordon, who'd been searching the files atop his desk.

"Can I help you?" Barnes asked.

"Captain." Jim greeted back. It took a good second or more for him to calm down enough to sell the lie, "I was just looking for the Paulie Pennies file. I was thinking the cases might be related and-"

Jim's voice trailed off as Barnes walked closer and picked up the case file from a standing organizer on his desk.

Without a word he handed it over.

"Thanks." Jim half-smiled and started for the door.

"Fill me in." Barnes physically blocked the way of his escape.

"Nothing solid yet, but we'll get there." He tried to act casual and dismissive of it; enough that Barnes wouldn't push further.

"Uh-huh." Barnes gave him a hard stare, "Well, I was looking over the witness statements and the first people on the scene say Symon was still alive when you got to him. He say anything to you?"  
It was a fishing expedition and a long shot, but he had a feeling maybe the surgeon had given up his name before he passed.

Jim had been acting strange towards him yesterday.  
He'd witnessed a few hush-hush conversations between Jim and Bullock, but hadn't been stealthy enough to over hear.

"No…" Jim shook his head.

"So, he didn't ID the killer?" Barnes asked.

"No." Jim stuck to his one word answer.

"Hmm." Barnes hummed in disbelief, "Cause I've got a few people who said you were talking to him."

"He tried… sure." Jim glanced out the windows of the office to the rest of the police station hoping to catch sight of his partner, "But he couldn't speak. He died right away."

Barnes didn't miss Jim's visual scan of the station.

Maybe Bird had been telling the truth and he was expecting to see her.

"How's Bird?"  
Barnes questioned.

"Uh…" Jim breathed thrown off the question, "Fine."

"I only ask because I overheard you talking to Bullock yesterday -something about you couldn't reach her?" He pressed.

Jim's face lost a few shades of color.  
He had mentioned that to his partner the day before -along with voicing his suspicions that Barnes was the one who killed Symon.

Exactly how much had his boss overheard the day before?

"You weren't expecting her to drop by today?" He continued to interrogate him.

"No." Jim resorted back to one word answers.

His eyes cut back over to the rest of the station. Did Barnes know something he didn't?

Feeling Jim's behavior was more questionable than not, Barnes knew he'd need to get Jim away from the station too.

Picking his keys up off the desk, Barnes lied, "I put in a call to a C.I. with deep ties to the mob. Says that once I collard Symon the higher ups got jumpy."

"You're saying the mob had him killed?" Jim was surprised.  
The manor in which he'd been killed wasn't exactly a mafia style hit.

"He was giving these guys new faces. Probably the only one who could I.D. them. That's a lot to protect. They probably got jumpy. Nervous." Barnes continued the lie.  
Explained how the informant had even given him a name. A mid-level enforcer who goes by Sugar and works out of the east end.

Jim offered to send a team to pick Sugar up and bring him in for questioning but Barnes insisted they go and handle this on their own.  
Citing his reason as the mob still having their fingers in most of the guys' pockets and they needed to be careful about who they trusted.

"So-" Barnes began, "You ready to ride with the old man?"

"Sure." Jim feigned a smile, "Just let me run it by my partner."

"Why bother him?" Barnes questioned, as he laid a firm hand on Jim's arm, "We'll be there and back before you know it."

"So where are we headed?" Jim questioned as they left the building and Barnes pointed on the direction of his car.

"Sugar works out of an old foundry at 133rd and 6th." Barnes answered.

Feeling a crack under his feet, Jim looked down to see he'd walked over the debris of spilled coffee. The ice had crushed under his steps.

It made him think of Bird, she'd been on an iced coffee kick for months on end.  
He'd always wrinkle his nose at it; remark how coffee was supposed to be enjoyed hot and she'd hit back with calling him old fashioned.

"That's reminds me." Barnes waved a hand letting Jim know to go ahead and get in the car.

One he was inside, he heard his boss messing with something in the trunk and he called Bullock, almost immediately the call went to voicemail.  
He left a message with the address they were headed to.

Barnes stared down at Bird when he opened the trunk. She was laying motionless, her hair strewn across her face.

The blood on her skin from where her body had violently hit the pavement looked ruby red.

He reached out two fingers and pressed them to the side of her neck.

She was alive. For as lifeless as she looked her pulse was steady.

Cockroaches, he thought to himself. It's always the worst ones who ended up being the hardest to kill.  
Currently, he felt like Bird and Penguin topped that list.

Jerking the gun out of the trunk, he slammed it shut again and went to get in the car.

When Jim questioned the weapon, Barnes shrugged, "You never know what's going to go down."

They drove for several minutes in silence -and not the comfortable kind either.

"I have to say Jim." Barnes finally said, "I'm disappointed with you."

"Oh, yeah?" Jim side-eyed him, "How's that?"

"Lead detective for a high profile murder and you don't collect statements from everyone present?" Barnes continued.

When Jim shot him a confused look, Barnes was paying more attention to him than he was the road, "Me, Jim." He stated, "You never questioned me, but we can do that now. And for the record I wave my right to council."

"Captain-" Jim started to point out the ridiculousness of that, but his boss insisted.

So Jim followed orders and asked his questions. All the usual suspects. If he'd seen the victim or knew who could have followed Symon into the bathroom. If Barnes had been in that bathroom at all.

Barnes said that he had been in there; but it was obviously before the murder took place.

"I noticed there was someone else there you didn't get a statement from." Barnes said., barely giving him time to consider who he could be referring to as he filled in the blank, "Starling Wayne."

"Oh." Jim's brows furrowed again, "I didn't need to, she was with me."

"The whole time?" Barnes pushed.

"During the time the murder took place, yeah." He insisted.

"But you did question her about it, right?" Barnes kept pushing, "Even if it was when you were alone?"

"You think she threw a man through a brick wall?" Jim pointed out how ludicrous it sounded.  
It was crazy that any one person had enough strength to do that.

Barnes laughed, "Maybe not directly, but if we're talking about the mob, she's about as connected as they come-"

"She wasn't involved in this." Jim insisted.

It wasn't her style.  
He didn't say it out loud, of course, but he knew if Bird was going after someone she wouldn't be that sloppy.  
Wouldn't risk taking the shot at a crowded party.

"You sound awfully sure of that." Barnes held back another laugh.

"I am." Jim defended.

"You trust her?"

"She had my back when no one else did." He answered, indirectly pointing out that during the darkest time of his life, enough though Barnes said he'd considered Jim like a son -he'd turned his back on him.

"Right." Barnes nodded, "You know she used those mob connections to help you, Jim."

"I trust her." He loudly said, biting back the anger starting to build, "And I already said she had nothing to do with this."

"Alright." Barnes accepted, "I was only pointing out you can't be too careful these days. I mean look around, Gordon. This city is a cesspool. Don't you ever want to do something about it?"

"I thought I was." He all but grumbled.

"What? As a cop?" Barnes looked back over at him, "I would have thought you of all people would find that limiting."

Jim said he didn't, at least not anymore. That he'd spent too long living outside of the law.

"I came back to the GCPD to do things right." Glancing back over at his boss he added, "Like you."

"Like me?"

"Last year at Galavan's, when we were attacked… you told me the law shows you where the line is. It stuck with me." Jim reasoned.

"Some would say our job, first and foremost is to protect the citizens of this city. Even if it means bending the laws." Barnes shared his new out look.

"No. If we break the law then we're not better than the criminals-"

"Ha!" Barnes exclaimed, "Is that what you were thinking the night Galavan was killed."  
With a knowing expression he clarified, "The first time."

Jim swallowed hard.

No, he hadn't been thinking that when he'd killed Galavan.

He'd thought he was making the right decision for everyone. That the only way to keep the city safe was to eliminate the threat.

The last thing he'd seen in his mind before he pulled the trigger to end Galavan's life had been the night everyone thought Bird had been killed.

Her body on the ground. Blood spilling from the corners of her mouth.

He'd never let himself admit it out loud, but revenge had played a part in his decision to kill Galavan.  
Along with the guilt he'd felt for protecting Theo Galavan while Bird had been shot.

"This city is at a crossroads, Gordon." Barnes' interrupted Jim's train of thought, "The question is: will good men fight for it? Will they do what's necessary?"

Suddenly becoming more aware of his surroundings, Jim shifted in the seat, "Captain, we missed our stop. 133rd and 6th?"

"Did I say that?" Barnes played innocent, as if he hadn't intentionally mislead him, "136th and 3rd."

Jim nodded but grew more uncomfortable by the second. He highly doubted it was the honest mistake his boss was trying to make it out to be.

 **•••**

The moment she started to come to, Bird's breathing grew shallow. Her chest rising and falling rapidly but unable to pull much air in.

Her head was throbbing, her throat so sore that trying to yell brought tears to her eyes.

Eyes that for the moment she couldn't see much out of. There was something wet on her face and with the tinge of copper on her tongue she knew it had to be blood.

Panic. Sheer terror.  
She had no idea where she was.

Closing her eyes she tried to force herself to remember.

Barnes.

Her hand shot up to her throat at the memory.  
Barnes had attacked her.

Opening her eyes back up she frantically wiped at her face trying to swat the blood away.

She was in a confined space.  
She couldn't stretch out.

She could feel a rough carpet texture under her hands when she felt around under her and metal above her.

A trunk; she realized.

Further struggling to get her bearings, she turned around the best she could and felt around hoping she'd ended up int he trunk of a car where she could just push the back seat down and climb out.

After a struggle she determined she had no such luck on that wish.

She tried, but couldn't get her voice to work. Every time she tried her throat burned and she could only cough.

Screaming for help would pointless, she decided.  
A waste of energy, she had no idea where she even was.

Aside from knowing the car wasn't moving she knew nothing else of her surroundings.

Putting all of her strength into it, she started trying to bust out of the trunk. To use enough force to break free.

Bird angled her body the best she could to try for escape, using her legs to kick with all of her might towards the center of where the trunk would close. She knew her best shot was getting the latch to open.

" _Is someone in there?"_  
An unfamiliar voice called out.

"Yes!" She tried to shout but still couldn't find her voice.

She continued to make as much noise as she could by hitting her fists against the interior of the trunk.

" _Oh my god! Call the police."_

It was just moments later the trunk latch released and she was momentarily blinded by the sunlight, until her sight settled on a man standing by the car with a crowbar in his hand.

His face was ghostly pale.

Peeking around his shoulder was a terrified woman; Bird guessed his wife.  
Whoever they were, she was happy to see them.

"Oh, my god! She's bleeding. She's been kidnapped or something. I- I don't know. Oh my god!" The woman was screaming into the phone, more than likely deafening the 911 operator she was speaking with.

Still seeming stunned and unsure of what to say, the man who'd pried the trunk open wordlessly helped Bird out to her feet.

Still trying to get her bearings, she felt her pockets trying to find her phone but it wasn't anywhere. Looking back into the prison she'd been in, she spotted her purse.  
If only she'd known that was in there to being with,

The first thing she searched for was the bottle of water she usually carried with her; which she promptly emptied.  
Water spilling from both corners of her mouth and soaking into shirt.

A few other passersby had stopped to watch the scene playing out.

But Bird paid them no mind, instead she grabbed her phone from her purse and tried to call Jim, but it went straight to voicemail.

Then she tried Bullock.

"Yeah?" His voice was rushed; call answered on the first ring.

"Barnes-" Bird's voice was hoarse and speaking was incredibly painful but she pushed through, "Barnes attacked me. Is Jim with you?"

"Barnes has him." Bullock's words were scrambled.  
She could hear the sirens from the car. He was on the move.

"Listen." He continued, "He's infected. The tech virus. Where are you?"

"Barnes?" Bird coughed, "Alice's blood?"

"Yeah." Bullock answered, "Are you anywhere near 133rd and 6th?"

"I…" She stammered spinning in a circle and trying to figure out where she was.

A gunshot rang out nearby in the distance and most of the people who'd gathered to see what was going on at the car scattered in all directions.

The only ones who stayed were the same couple who'd helped her break free from the trunk.

Good samaritans, she shook her head, trying to do the right thing even if it costs them their own lives,

"Here." She strained, shoving her phone into the man's hand, "Take this, tell him where we are and get somewhere safe."

"But you-" He tried to argue.

"You're bleeding!" The woman yelled.

"Go." Bird yelled out the best she could.

She could hear the echo of Bullock's voice coming from the small speaker on the phone. It was impossible to make out exactly what he was saying but she had a feeling he was trying to warn her against going after Barnes.

As if anything he could say would stop her now that he'd told her Barnes had Jim.

Her eyes went back to the trunk in search of a weapon though she wasn't sure why she'd have any luck with that when nothing else seemed to be going her way so far.

Sending up a silent prayer to a higher power she wasn't convinced even existed, Bird pulled the wooden box from her purse containing the gun Oswald have given her as a present.  
She'd been toting it around for the last few days with the intentions of getting it appraised for insurance reasons.

Flipping the lid open she pulled the revolver from it's placement in the purple satin liner and then lifted it up to reveal the bottom of the box contained a section for holding the ammunition; which her best friend had thoughtfully stocked before presenting the present to her.

Grabbing up a small handful of bullets, she started in the direction the shots were coming from.

Moving as quickly as she could while loading the rounds into the revolver's chamber.

 **•••**

The world had slowed down.  
Time moving at a snails pace.

Jim's eyes were locked on his boss who still armed with the shotgun he'd used to kill the criminal who went by the name of Sugar just minutes before.

"I know what you're thinking, Jim." Barnes sympathized at seeing his lead detective rendered speechless, "You're thinking: why would Captain Nathaniel Barnes, Mr. By-The-Book, blow a hole in the chest of this unarmed scumbag? Could it be that he actually killed Symon too?"

Jim looked around, he'd been cornered at the end of one of the old foundry warehouses with no way out.  
Barnes had already taken more than one shot at him when he'd ran earlier, thankfully he'd missed but now the outlook seemed bleaker by the second.

He'd managed to call Bullock a little while earlier when he'd first gotten away from Barnes and hid next to a crumbling building. Explained what was happening and tried to get the address to where they were passed along to his partner but he'd been found to soon.

The phone had been dropped mid call and then destroyed when Barnes found it.

He had no idea how long it would take Bullock to get there.

"You're infected." Jim tried to reason with him. It seemed like the only option he had left now. Try to reach the human part of him -if it still existed, "Don't you see? This means you're innocent and we -we can get you help."

"Let's just skip the part where you try to get me to give myself up."

"This isn't you. This is the virus-"

"No!" Barnes yelled, "I'm not insane and you're not seeing the bigger picture. We're dealing in absolutes. Innocence and guilt. Gotham… the people of this city need men like me. Men who can see what needs to be done and do it!"

Taking a step closer the continued to try and sell the image he had for a better Gotham.  
"You have it within you to be one of those men."

Jim's face twisted up in disbelief.  
At first he thought his boss had taken him all the way out to the foundry to kill him, but this was something else. Barnes was trying recruit him.

"You want me to join you? Be a part of this?" Jim couldn't hide the shock or the disgust of seeing a man he'd greatly admired fall so far.

"Oh, don't be so high and mighty. You shot Galavan in cold blood." Barnes yelled.

"And every day I wish I hadn't!" Jim's voice raised higher than his captains, "I thought I didn't have a choice, but I did. I lost everything because of the choice I made that night. I lost my freedom."

"I never said it would be easy, Jim." Barnes smiled, "I said it was right! Day after day, all these criminals thumbing their nose at the law. But not today. Today I'm drawing a line, putting a stop to it. The only question left to answer now is where do you stand?"

Jim's eyes fell to the shotgun again.

"Against you."

"It's a shame really. We could have made a great team." Barnes' face showed something resembling disappointment.  
Almost remorse.  
Almost a human expression.

The sirens in the distance were drawing closer but didn't sound close enough to get there in time to make a difference in the outcome.

He'd been disarmed in the fight with his captain earlier.

Jim tied to pull in a breath, knowing it might be his last but the air had nowhere to go.  
Like his lungs had hardened to steel.

The end of the line, so it seemed, though he would've never in a million years would he have guessed this would be how it happened.

Barnes took a step forward, adjusting the his grip on the gun and pointing it at his detective.

If Jim wasn't going to be a part of the solution that meant he was part of the problem; which made him just as guilty as the criminals.

There was a loud noise. A gunshot.  
The sound echoed and intensified in the empty building and Jim's head jerked to the side from the pressure the noise put on his ears.

It wasn't a shotgun blast he'd heard.  
No, the noise came from a smaller weapon.

When he opened his eyes, he saw Barnes on the ground, the shot gun lying inches away from him.  
"My arm!" Barnes voice was somewhere between a growl and the howl of a wounded animal.

He threw his arm out, trying to grab the gun he'd dropped on his way down, but Bird fired another shot -this one right through his hand.

With her gun still trained on the fallen GCPD Captain, Bird kicked the shotgun Barnes had been reaching for over to Jim, where it landed next to his feet.

Jim somehow manged to pull his eyes away from Bird and gazed down to the weapon, he quickly picked it up, aimed at Barnes just in case he tried anything else.

It seemed his body was running on autopilot.  
Physically he'd reacted much sooner to what was happening then he'd been able to mentally.

His eyes scanned over Bird.  
She didn't look good, there was blood on hr face -the skin on her neck was one giant bruise at this point and she seemed a little unsteady on her feet. Swaying light a branch in the breeze.

"What happened?" Jim was finally able to speak, "How… Where? Where did you come from?"

"The trunk." Bird answered.  
Her strained voice barely audible over the sirens that were now right outside and the sounds GCPD as they arrived on the scene.

 **•••**

* * *

 **A/N - I can't believe Gotham is officially over. I'm still a mess, yo.  
I do plan on taking Bird's story all the way to the end of season 5; so even though Gotham is no longer airing, I hope you'll all keep reading.  
**

 **I want to give a shout out to:** **xenocanaan, Shadow knight1121, ThatMysteriousSlime, AGBreads, runawaycherry93, HarleyIsQueenx, Love Fiction. 2019, Adela, SmellYourScentForMiles, Havana, xxXWolfsLullabyXxx, Katniss789, DancingDorisDay, Rasiel Hasu and the Guests who reviewed since my last update. Thank you so much!  
**

 **I really hope everyone enjoyed the chapter (and the fact it didn't take me months to update this time, haha) and I can't wait to hear what you all thought of the chapter!**

 **Also, I'm not sure how many long time readers I have that have been with me since We Were Born Sick, but those of you who have -did you get as nostalgic for season 1 Bird and Oswald?  
I wasn't expecting it to get me as badly as it did; but when I was writing those scenes between them, I started missing the way they were with one another in the beginning! **


	16. Dear Sister

**XVI - Dear Sister**

" _And so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past." - F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby_

* * *

 **•••**

Sitting in the open doorway of the back of an ambulance, Bird stared out across broken up paved parking lot of the old foundry.

It had been at least thirty minutes since they'd hauled a heavily sedated Captain Barnes away from the scene for medical attention, but the area around the crime scene was still draped in chaos.

It looked like every officer in the city was there. Some were taking statements from the bystanders who'd witnessed part of what had happened, but it seemed like the majority of them were standing in groups talking amongst themselves.

Her sight on focused Jim, who she spotted across the lot speaking with some of the higher ranking detectives on scene. He was badly roughed up, himself.

There were barely a few minutes time between when Bird had brought Barnes down to when GCPD arrived.  
Everything was so hectic and crowded that she hadn't gotten much of a chance to talk to Jim at all.

It had mostly been a blur, she vaguely remembered Jim trying to talk to her, the warmth of his arms through her clothes as he held onto her while leading her over to an ambulance, insisting she at least let the paramedics check her out since she'd refused to go to the hospital.

Once she'd sat down on the metal ledge of the emergency vehicle, Jim had said something to her that her ears couldn't decipher above all the other voices and noise around them.

He'd kissed her on the forehead and that was the first time she'd gotten a real look at him.  
She remembered thinking he needed to be checked out too, but couldn't remember if she'd voiced her concern out loud.

There was too much noise in her head; disabling her ability to think straight and rendering her mute.

She'd done some bad things in her life; top of that list would be taking other lives.

She had killed people and aside from the times of self-defense and when she'd been forced to work under Falcone alongside Victor Zsasz, she'd been able to excuse the violence by telling herself the world was better off without certain people in it.

And this was far from the first time someone had tried to kill her; but this was the first time she was aware of that someone wanted her dead because they believed the world would be a better place without her in it.

Sure, Barnes was infected with the Tetch virus, but when Jervis had gotten inside Jim's head he'd amplified what was already in there.

What if the blood did the same? Just brought everything to the surface.

If so, then that meant every exchange she'd had with Nathaniel Barnes -both polite and otherwise, he'd been sitting there thinking her very presence lessened the lives of those around her.

"How you holding up?"

Bird didn't look up to where Bullock was now standing beside her, leaning against the ambulance and waiting on an answer.

She just kept staring across the way to where Jim was; wondering if he was okay.  
She also wasn't sure if he was still mad at her for taking off again or where they even stood with their relationship after the way they'd left things the night before she'd fled.

"Bird?" Bullock's voice raised.

When she still didn't even acknowledge his presence, he took his hat off and rubbed a hand over his head, "We doing the silence thing again?"

The words came out with an unintended sigh, he knew everyone processed trauma differently and he'd been around Bird enough in the aftermath of it see how much she'd shut down.  
To the point of not saying a single word.

But he also wasn't sure how much, if any, of her acting that way was put on.  
After all, it wasn't like this was the first time someone had tried to kill her.

"What are they going to do with Barnes?"  
She asked, seeming to wait the exact amount of time to stop him just as he'd started to walk away.

"Arkham." He answered, "There was some talk on how he might lose his hand."

She didn't respond.

"How are you holding up?" He repeated his earlier question.

"I've been better, Bullock." Her voice was dry; sounded as painful as her throat felt.

He readjusted his stance and pulled in a deep breath.

She was an expert at getting on his nerves, always had been -but he could take the shots she'd diss out and fire them right back.  
He always knew what to say or how to react then.

This was something different.  
Those times when she seemed to be in such turmoil that it radiated off of her and thickened the air; those where the times when he didn't know what to do, or what to say.

Now he was the one staring over to where Jim was.

"You know-" He carefully said, "There's one thing I don't get it. Why didn't you kill him?"

For the first time in several minutes, Bird moved, turned her head and looked up to where he was standing.

Feeling like he needed to further explain, he added, "I mean, you hated the guy and it's not like-"

"I didn't hate Barnes." Bird stated, "I just didn't like him very much, but not enough to hate him."

"Killing him wasn't necessary." Bird continued, feeling a heat rising to both of her cheeks, "Is that what you think of me? That I… what? Just go around murdering people that I don't much care for?"

"No…"  
His answer didn't sound confident.

Not because that's really what he thought of her but more so by the look on her face; she looked offended, hurt even.

And she was.  
She and Bullock had never been what she'd call friends, usually only brought together for Jim's sake, but what he'd said had stung.

It was like he didn't know her all.

"Look, I wasn't trying to…" His expression softened some, "I didn't mean to upset you-"

"Please." He voice was still scratchy from the damage inflicted on her throat earlier in the day but her tone was clean, callous, "As if you could hurt me."

"Fair enough." He breathed, looking around them before revealing his main intention for coming over there, "I need to see the gun you shot the Cap with."

"Why?"

"'Cause I do."

Bird shrugged off the blanket one of the medical staff had draped over her shoulders and reached over to where her purse was.  
It had been returned to her after her belongings were recovered from the trunk she'd been locked in.

She'd already nestled the weapon back in it's satin wrought display.

When she opened the box to show the revolver, he stared at it in disbelief.  
He'd never seen anything like it before, the gold detailing and diamonds glittered even in the shadows they were casting over it.

"We're going to need to take that in for evidence-"  
He'd started to say but she cut him off.

"No!"

He almost took a step back from the unexpected outburst.  
Her throat must be feeling better, he thought.

"It's just temporary-"

She didn't care how long they expected the hold would be, she wasn't parting with the present Oswald had given her.

"Come on." Bullock audibly sighed, "It's not like those stones are real, right?"

There was absolutely no way the jewels on that gun were real, for that matter the gold plating couldn't be either.  
It just couldn't.

"Of course it's real." Bird scoffed, rising to her feet, "24 carat gold and yes -the diamonds are very real."

"That!" He took a step back, pointing with his index finger wildly at the gun she was still holding in it's box, "That is what you rich people spend your money on?"

Jim who'd joined up with them when he'd heard Bird's distressed argument from across the parking lot, looked dumbstruck at the sight of the gun.  
Truth be told he'd hadn't paid much attention to the weapon she'd used to bring Barnes' down at the time.

"It was a gift!" She cleared her throat, cringing from the pain.

"From who?"  
This time it was Jim that spoke.

"Oswald." Her voice lowered but it was still painful to speak, "I had it with me to get it appraised."

Not giving either of them a chance to speak she directed her anger at Bullock, "I don't like cops. I don't trust them and I know your evidence lockers aren't secure -I know because I've broken into them myself on several occasions."

"We are cops!" Bullock lost his hold on his own temper, "Why are you always openly confessing to this stuff? You can't tell us things that that!"

She glared at him.

"Bird-"  
Jim began, but she wasn't interested in hearing him talk either.

Always trying to be the voice of reason he'd probably side with his partner on this.

Bird took a step back, the back of her legs bumping against where she'd been sitting on the ambulance and nearly taking her down, but she remained standing.

She shut the box, locked it clasp and held it tightly against her chest.

"There's already been one attempt on my life today and you both saw how well that worked out for your boss." She flatly stated and even though she was talking to them both, she squared up against Bullock like she was ready to fight him, "I wouldn't suggest getting on my bad side today-"

"Bad side?" Bullock repeated back, mirroring her hostility and not backing down an inch,"You're saying there's anything else when it comes to you?"

"Okay, hey, hey, hey." Jim first wedged an arm between them then his body, forcing more space between them.

He had no idea what had been said before he'd gotten over to them but it couldn't have been anything good.  
They'd been on amicable, one might even say friendly terms for months on end until now.

"We don't really need the weapon-" Jim started to try and calm her down.

"Jim-"

"Harvey." He shot his partner a look over his shoulder.

 **•••**

It was early the next morning that Jim made his way into the kitchen; he'd completely given up on sleep now.

For the last few hours every single time he got laid back down in bed the door bell would ring and he'd get back up to answer it so that Bird wouldn't have too.

She was in bad shape and not just physically either.  
Though he wasn't sure exactly what was going on in her head since she'd barely spoken ten words to him since the night before.

Now that morning news had broken about Captain Barnes being infected with the blood-borne Tetch Virus; and even though he'd tried to kill one of his lead detectives the main focus of the news was how he'd tried to kill Bird.

The headlines fueled by pictures of her emerging from the trunk she'd been locked in taken by the bystanders at the scene who'd been more concerned with catching things on film than helping at all.

Now everyone was sending flowers and gift baskets to the house; hence the door bell going off repeatedly.

Walking into the kitchen, Jim rubbed his hands over his face, focusing mostly on his tired eyes and then his jaw, which was still sore from the impact of the blow his boss dealt him; which had split his lip open too.

The door bell rang again and he let out a sigh, swearing under his breath as he went to answer it for, sure enough, another delivery person.

This time it was a beautifully wrapped up basket of assorted teas, which he carried back to the kitchen and sat it down next to the overstuffed fruit basket that arrived about thirty minutes prior. He was about to start on the coffee when the handwriting on the card caught his eye.

He recognized it; it was Barbara's writing.

Plucking the card up he read in the fancy script:  
 _'Hey, B._  
 _Heard the news. Sorry you were nearly killed._  
 _Your neck looked awful in the pictures._  
 _Hope the tea helps your throat._  
 _xx B_

 _S - I know you've been ignoring my phone calls.'_

Jim looked back at the assortment of fine tears, glanced at the card again and then promptly dropped the entire thing in the top of the waste basket.

Barbara hadn't gone after Bird the way she had with Lee when they were together, but he wouldn't put it past her to try something now. Like a poisoned drink.

When he turned back around he nearly jumped out of his skin at the sight of someone else in the room with him.

It was only Bird, but he'd had no idea she'd been there.  
He swore he'd never get used to how silently she could move around.

"Hey." He greeted, concern already apparent on his face, "Sorry about the door…" He helplessly gestured to the array of gifts in the room.  
Then hoping the outreach of support might brighten her spirits his mouth stretched into a smile even though it threatened to break the scab on his lip open, "The papers detailed what happened with Barnes and it looks like a lot of people are thinking of you."

"Yeah." Bird's voice was flat, "Sorry the GCPD Captain tried to pop your head like a pimple -here's a fruit basket."

Jim's head cocked to the side. Unsure what to say to her; so instead he watched in silence as she picked up the card from the fruit basket and let out a sigh.  
It was from a couple her parents used to be friends with. She knew the names but couldn't quite pin their faces down in her mind.

His eyes kept falling to her neck, how badly bruised her skin was.  
She was lucky to be alive.  
All he could think about was the body they'd found that had been ripped apart. The victims head torn right from his body -and how easily Barnes could have done the same to Bird.

"Why'd you throw that away?" She questioned waking over to the trashcan and picking the tea basket back out.

"Barbara." Jim let out a sigh.  
The name should be enough of an explanation he thought, but to his dismay Bird laid one of the bags of tea out on the counter, read the card she'd sent and then started to fill the kettle.

"What are you doing?" He shut the faucet off, "Barbara -as in Barbara Kean. Do I really have to remind you of her history for targeting my-"

"She might try to kill me one day." Bird agreed, turning the water back on to finish filling the kettle, "But not today, Jim. Today she's being a friend."

"A friend?"  
He repeated back.

He didn't understand why she'd even keep in touch with Barbara after all she'd done.  
And years ago Bird wouldn't have, but she'd learned just how important keeping connections alive were.

Something she'd learned while working under Falcone; how people are an asset.  
Even the ones who might have wronged you at some point.

Almost as if she could read his mind, she pointed out, "She's the one who warned me about Jervis Tetch that day. Her call bought be enough time to start on a plan; to let Victor know what was going on and that he'd need to find me."

"Okay…" He blew out a breath, "But, Bird -you can't trust her. She'll strike when you're weak and-"

"Do I look weak to you?"

The question stopped him in his tracks.  
It was like his brain was only sending down the wrong words for his mouth to speak that morning.

"No and that's not what I meant." He promised.

"Poison isn't her style, anyways." She sighed under her breath, before questioning, "Aren't you going to be late for work?"

"I'm not going in today, not after what happened yesterday."  
The manner in which he spoke made it sound like it was a no-brainer; that she should have known he'd planned on staying with her for the day.

But how was she supposed to know that when his return the GCPD had seemed to throw her world and their relationship off center and the job always seemed to come first.

She bit down on the side of her tongue, not wanting to start an argument so early in the morning.  
So instead she placed the kettle on the range and turned the stove on.

Jim stood in place, watching Bird -well more so her back as she stood at the stove waiting for water to boil.

The silence in the room was heavy; an unwelcome house guest taking up far too much space.

"Unless you want me to go?"  
His words sounded unsure.

He didn't want to leave. In truth the more time that passed the more he grew worried about her; but he was at a loss.

Couldn't seem to say or do the right thing to help anyone -even himself.

"No." Bird's posture slouched and slowly she turned back around. The look on her face had softened and so did her voice when she started, "I don't want you to leave."

She moved closer, "Look, about the other day-"

Her words were interrupted by the sound of the doorbell.

Jim's head dropped forward, cursing under his breath before he looked back to her and offered, "I'll get it."

Bird walked over to get a mug down from the cabinet for her tea, wondering what kind of gift basket it would be this time.

She turned back around just as Jim came back into view, she started to ask the question on her mind, but then she saw he wasn't alone.

"Oswald."  
The greeting sounded like a breathe of relief.  
That realization wasn't lost on Jim

"Bird-" Oswald's voice caught in his throat, his eyes went to the dark bruising on her neck.

So many close calls had been shared between them over the years of their friendship. It felt like at least of them was almost always in danger.

But it didn't matter how times they'd nearly been killed or that he'd seen her in much worse shape than she currently was; seeing her like that still drove a stake right through him. He could have lost her.

Crossing the room with his uneven gait, he came to a stop just in front of her before leaning in to hug her in a rather awkward move. He still struggled when it came to initiating physical contact -and having Jim Gordon there watching them didn't help matters at all.

"Do you want some tea?" Bird questioned as she returned the embrace, for the first time in what felt like forever feeling a bit like herself as she admitted, "Barbara Kean sent it to me and Jim thinks it could be poisoned."

"No, thank you." He stepped back and grasped onto her arms; the expression on his face changed as he said, "We need to talk."

"God…" She breathed out while shaking her head, "I'm really starting to hate those words..."

Oswald glanced over his shoulder to where Jim was still lingering in the doorway of the room before looking back to Bird and adding, "Alone."

She led him down the hallway and into one of the spare rooms, which had been functioning as a sort of makeshift home office.

She went in first and Oswald followed. Once inside, Oswald turned around to see if Jim still had them in his line of sight -he did.

As if on cue the kettle started to whistle.

"You'd better get that." Oswald called out to him with one side of his mouth angled up in a smirk.  
Grabbing onto both of the heavy wood sliding doors that met in the middle, Oswald slammed them shut.

"Really?" Bird blinked, "As if I'm not having enough problems with Jim already."

"I couldn't resist." Oswald smiled as he turned to face where she was leaned against the large desk, "He used to look at you with the very same irritated expression he still gives me."

"How the times have changed." Bird arched a brow at him.

"That they have." He nodded.

She couldn't help but smile at thinking how one thing that hadn't changed was that they both still loved getting under Jim's skin.

Clearing his throat he walked closer, "I'm going to ask you something, Bird. And all I ask is for your honesty-"

"Look-" She interrupted as she lowered her voice, not knowing how close Jim might be to door, "I know we both said some things the other night, but-"

"No." He quickly cut her off, "I'm not talking about that."

"Then what's going on?"

"Do you know Butch Gilzean's current location?" Oswald asked, his eyes locked on her face to try and seek out any sign of alarm.

"No." Bird answered honestly.

She expected him to look relieved at the news but it seemed to have the opposite effect.

His posture dropped, shrunk him down a good few inches.

"Ed knows." Oswald closed his eyes.

"Where Butch is?" Bird's head still felt foggy from the day before.

"About Isabel!" He whisper-yelled as he stomped his good leg down in frustration at her inability to keep up.

"Isabella." Bird corrected.

"Yes!" He tossed his arms up, "Whatever. Ed knows it wasn't an accident. We should have never let him leave that morning."

"Damn it, Oswald!" The outburst left her sputtering and she reached up to hold onto her neck.

"It's not as bad as it sounds-" Oswald was going to explain, but Bird couldn't hear it.

"This is exactly what I said would happen. He'd find out and he'll kill you and then I'll kill him and then-"

"And then inevitably someone will come for you." He finished, "Yes, Bird, I already know how your version of this ends. But newsflash! This isn't about you."

Her face shifted into an expression he'd seen too many times. She was about to snap, usually she'd fly off at the mouth with something to hurt him -but the last time they fought she'd stabbed him.

"He thinks Butch is the one who had her killed, not me." Oswald quickly filled in while he still had the floor.

"I can't help you." Bird crossed her arms over her chest, "I don't know where he is."

He walked closer, his limp more pronounced with the slow movement, "Bird."

She didn't appreciate his tone or the way in which he was closing in on her like wounded prey.

Making it clear she wasn't the least bit afraid of him, she calmly leaned back against the desk again, and drummed her fingertips over the polished smooth surface.

Oswald looked down and saw the glint of light reflecting from something shiny on the desk; something metal. A pointed tip letter opener.

"Going to stab me again?" He asked.

Bird looked over, she hadn't even realized the tool had been there.

"I'm not sure." She answered with a light shrug, "I've been through a lot lately. Might be a bit unstable."

"Just a bit?" He retorted.

They stared at one another before they both smiled.

"You truly don't know where he is?" Oswald regained his composure first.

Still chucking to herself, Bird repeated, "I don't know where he's at. I haven't seen him since the night of your victory party for winning the election."

It was the truth; most of it at least.  
She didn't offer up the knowledge that she'd brought the ambulance to a stop that night -or that she'd left him in Tabitha's hands.

"If you hear anything?" Oswald stepped back.

"I'll let you know." She nodded.

Once her best friend was gone and she returned to the kitchen, Jim asked, "What was that about?"

"I think he knows I had something to do with Butch escaping." Bird openly admitted.

A shadow of concern landed on his face.

"Don't worry." Bird insisted, "I'm not in any danger."

 **••• Later that day •••**

"Was that the last one?" Bird asked.

"Yeah." Jim blew out a breath and dropped onto the couch next to her.

They'd spent well over an hour going through the assortment of gifts that had shown up from everyone wanting to show their support or let her know they were thinking of her.

Bird tossed the open notebook she'd been making the list of everyone who'd reached out to her in on the coffee table and sank back into the cushion.

Jim had repeatedly reminded her she didn't have to do any of this today, but she knew if she didn't force her way through it now than she'd never get around to getting the thank you cards sent out.

That was one lesson her parents had instilled in her.  
Even as a child they'd have her send out thank yous for any gifts she received. She'd thought it was ridiculous at the time, especially when the gift had been something she didn't like.

But as an adult, especially being more in the public eye than ever before, she understood it.  
It was important for networking.

In all honesty she still thought it was a little ridiculous and overly-time consuming, but heaven forbid she didn't publicly show gratitude for gifts she never asked for or wanted.

Most of what she'd gotten was in a pile to donate anyways.

"Are you going to talk to me?" Jim finally asked.  
Having long since grown frustrated with her silence.

"I have been." She rolled her head against the cushion to look at him.

"About gift receiving etiquette." His eyes hadn't left her face, "That's not what I'm talking about and you know it."

"I…" She huffed, "You were the one who said we needed to talk… so you start. You're the one who's mad at me."

"I'm not mad." He sat up further, confusion twisting his face and pointed out, "Bird, you saved my life yesterday. Why do you think-"

"No." She shook her head, her hair frizzing from the friction of her head still against the fabric, "I'm talking about before that."

The muddiness cleared and he understood she was talking about the argument they'd gotten into well before Barnes had tried to kill them both.  
It was a stupid fight to begin with and seemed even more so now that they'd been through such an ordeal.

"None of that matters now." He tried to ease her mind.

"It does."  
Now it was Bird who sat up further in preparation for a sure to be uncomfortable conversation.

"Not trying to bring past relationships into this." Bird began, "But this is the kind of stuff that happened with Harvey, okay? We'd be in some stupid fight and then something life or death would happen and we'd never bring it up again because it felt like all that mattered was we lived. But the reasons behind the arguments did matter and it would make the next fight even worse."

"Okay." Jim pulled in a breath and nodded in agreement.  
He knew she was saying she didn't want to make the same mistakes again and now that he thought about it, that was something that had happened in his last two previous relationships as well.

That's how the rot started to set in.

And he wanted to do things better; do them right this time around.

The room drifted back into silence and he finally admitted, "Where do we start?."

"I guess where we left off?" Bird guessed.

"You were mad at me because I wouldn't agree to marry you -even though you weren't asking me to." Bird focused it on him.

"Wow…" Jim closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead, "Can we word that a little different? That just makes me sound idiotic and also not what happened at all."

"It is too what happened." Bird insisted, "You got mad at me because I wouldn't agree to marry you, even though you weren't proposing. And then the next morning you didn't kiss me before you left for work and said 'we need to talk tonight'" She deepened her voice to mimic him, "And that is never a good sign."

Deciding to lay all the cards on the table she added, "I thought you were going to break up with me."

"That's why you ran off?!"  
It was a half-question/half-realization.

"I didn't understand." Jim explained, "I went to work that day thinking it was just a stupid argument we'd sort out later and then next thing I knew you were gone.

"And for the record, I never wanted to end things with us -I still don't." He clarified.

"Me either."  
Her head cocked to the side, "What the hell even happened?"

"I only brought marriage up in the first place, because you had that dress and you were talking about how you had no point in keeping it and I…" He turned more on the seat to face her, "I thought you wanted me to tell you -you should keep it."

"No!" Bird exclaimed, "But then you just got so upset that I wouldn't agree to marry you."

He opened his mouth but then stopped, he couldn't really argue against that.  
Blame it on exhaustion or the crossed wires and communication -but only to a degree.

"Yeah, well, that surprised us both." He shook his head.

She frowned, "It's because you don't think I take things seriously, right?"

Jim looked at her.

"And maybe I don't take everything as seriously as I should -but you need to know that I do take us, "She motioned between then, "This, seriously."

"I know you do." He scooted closer, his hand finding hers.

It was the truth too, if there one thing she did take seriously it was the people she cared about and she loved him.

"Then what happened?" She pushed.

Jim ran his tongue over his lips. Not sure how to put it into words -at least, not in a way that wouldn't cause her to shut down again.

Any mentions of the future made her clam up faster than anything else.

He knew what he wanted, not that it was something he wanted to happen tomorrow, but definitely in the foreseeable future.

Marriage, kids -eventually.

And even though they'd been together for a while now, he'd realized he had absolutely no idea if she saw the same things in her own future.

When Tetch had drugged him with Red Queen, the one solace in the series of hallucinations he'd gone through had been the part when he'd been with her. He'd told her what he saw them together, with kids of their own.

Once she'd managed to wipe the shocked expression off her face, she'd at first quickly lied and said she'd seen the same.

She'd come clean later on, admitting that she'd actually been back in her old life, working at Fish's club in the days when she and Oswald were inseparable.

He swallowed hard.

"What?" Bird questioned.  
Jim's extended silence left her with a strange sensation in her chest; like she'd consumed too much caffeine and her heart was unsteady; unreliable.

"I know that you take us seriously." Jim answered, "I guess what concerns me is that I don't think you know what you want, Bird."

Her brows furrowed.  
The tone in his voice was full of concern and love -it was clear he didn't mean that in an insulting manner. But she wasn't sure how else to take such a statement rather than be offended.

"What do you want?" She focused on keeping her tone steady; against the urge to snap at him.

"A family." Jim admitted.

Bird looked down at their still joined hands. Along with the admission his grip had tightened on her ever so slightly, like he were afraid she was going to pull away. He hadn't even realized it.

"The dream, huh?" Bird gave a one shoulder shrug with a sideways smile and tried to make light of it, "House and a white picket fence? Two-point-five kids? A dog and cat?"

"Maybe just the kids and a dog." Jim tried to joke, but his eyes didn't leave her face.  
Paying closer attention to her physical response and body language than her words -or lack there of.

"I…" She slightly stammered, her tone wavering, "This sounds like the beginning of a really big conversation that I'm not ready to have."

"I'm not saying I want this to happen right now." He clarified, "I just need to know if we're moving in the same direction."

"What does that even mean?" Bird turned further to face him.

She looked every bit as distressed as she felt.

Confusion felt like it was closing in from all sides, leaving her vision blurred, head hazy. That was until the fog cleared and she didn't need him to say anymore.

A jolt of clarity and anger hit her like lightening.

Bird shook her head, pulling her hand from his grip and thinking she knew exactly what he meant; or more so _who_ he was talking about.

Her close bond with her best friend seemed to lie at the middle of every bad argument she and Harvey had had when they were together.

"This is about Oswald." Bird rasped, suddenly becoming aware again of just how bad her throat was still hurting and the strain talking put on her.

"No-" Jim started to say, but Bird stood up and took a step back away from him.

"He is my best friend, Jim." She asserted.

"I know that!" Jim's voice raised.

"Then why…" She shook her head, "How could you ask me to choose then?"

"Okay, no, no, no." Jim stood up and moved closer to her, "It's happening again. We're not on the same page at all."

"I have been proposed to two times in my life." Bird began, her words caused Jim's face to scrunch with a disarray of emotions.

"The first time was the night Maroni's men had taken Don Falcone hostage and Oswald set out to kill him." Bird gestured with her hand like she was trying to stir up Jim's memory of that day.

He remembered it well.  
They'd been holed up in one wing of the hospital fighting against Maroni's men and even some of the police force. The late crime boss had gotten then Commissioner Loeb to side with him and turn on Falcone.

Bird had showed up at the hospital and kept Oswald from killing her biological father and in all honesty, Jim wasn't sure he'd have made it out of there alive if she hadn't had his back in the gunfight before Bullock showed up.

It was probably the first time he'd actually trusted her. Though at the time it was out of desperation and not having any other viable options.

"Harvey proposed to me that night solely to try and keep me there with him." Bird admitted, "And then the second time he asked me to marry him it was pretty much under the conditions that I leave every aspect of my old life behind."

Jim bit his tongue, he wanted to interrupt and tell her how far off base her train of thought had gone. But he didn't, because he understood what she was getting at.

That it was about control.  
That the engagement, the idea of marriage was something used to essentially keep her in line.

"I am not him." Jim stated when she stopped for a breath.  
Doing his best to keep his anger in check at the idea of her comparing them in her mind.

He'd never been given all the gritty details of their relationship, but he'd seen her badly bruised hand and wrist from when Harvey had grabbed her. Bird had once told him that with Harvey, things were either really good or really bad.

Her breath was uneven as she stared back at him.

"I know that." She argued.

"I - am - not -him." Jim repeated slower, emphasizing every word and stepping up until he was right in front of her.

"Have I ever asked you to cut contact with Oswald… or anyone for that matter?" He pointed out.

She didn't answer.

"All I am trying to say is that I want to move forward." He tilted his head until he caught her line of sight, "And Bird, sometimes…"

"Sometimes, what?" Her voice was barely over a whisper.

"You told me that back when you were working at the club that -that was the only time in your life that you knew who you were and what you wanted." Jim pointed out, "What I'm trying to say is that you can't move forward if part if you is still trying to go in reverse."

She nodded, a hand going to her throat as she held onto her sore, bruised skin and it took her a few moments to gather both her thoughts and words.

In the big picture of it all three years was such a short span of time and in those years she'd lost and also gained so much. Her life had gone thought one major change after another and most days she did feel like she was still struggling to find a solid foothold.

"My life drastically changed so much in such a short period of time." Bird defended, "Every time I find solid ground it's like the rug gets pulled out from under me. I'm still trying to figure things out, okay?"

What she didn't say out loud was how a part of her was afraid to let herself really want the same things he did, or even more so focus too much on the future in general because she felt like she'd been living on borrowed time since she was a teenager.

And then the path she'd chosen for herself years ago left her with a permanent feeling of the sand in the hourglass being close to running out.

Anytime she'd allow herself to envision the future, it was painful, a feeling of loss.  
Missing something she'd never even had.

"I'm not asking you to have it all figured out." Jim's expression softened, "But it's impossible to push forward when you're holding that tightly onto the past."

"Okay."  
The one worded answer was about as simple as they come, but saying it out loud brought a calmness over her that she hadn't felt for a little while.

He was right.

Some things would never go back to how they were. She was never going to have that part of her life back again and there was so much from that time she wouldn't want to bring back; other aspects of it she would lop off a limb to have back.

But no amount of sacrifice could reverse the hands of time to bring that about.

It was time to move onward.  
Start as anew as one could manage in a place like Gotham.

"I'll work on moving forward." Bird vowed with a single nod.

"The one thing I'm sure of right now is you." Bird closed the space between them, kissed him and let her lips linger on his before she pulled back enough to add, "I love you, Jim. And right now I need that to be enough, okay?"

"Okay." He echoed.

He wrapped his arms around her and she sank forward against him.

As he held her a feeling of calmness settled back into the house, leaving them both feeling lighter and less burdened than they had in the prior days.

 **••• The next morning •••**

Bird glanced up at the clock on the wall in the consultation room at the hospital.

Blowing out a sigh she drummed her nails on the desk and tried to keep herself distracted by looking through the latest book of keys her brother had given her.

Bruce was convinced they would find they answers to the questions they had about the key concealed in the necklace Ivy had stolen in one of the various books and texts their father had stored in Wayne Manor.

When she'd stopped by the house on her way to the hospital that morning she'd offered to help him with the search and he'd given her a small book to start with. The old leather cover was softened with age and wear.

The pages, tattered around the edges, were varying shades of yellowish brown.  
Sullied with time.

"Interesting read?"

Bird's head raised at the familiar voice and she closed the book. Sliding it into her purse, she straightened her posture and answered, "Very."

"Hmm." Mario hummed, his eyebrows raised at her tone. But he didn't say anything as he slid off his lab coat and hung it from one of the hooks on the wall.

Taking a seat behind the desk, he laid a file down in front of him and took a moment to survey her current state.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

His eyes locked with those of his younger half-sister. Her eyes were a few shades darker than his, but still familiar.

"Fine." Bird's gaze dropped to the file on the desk.

"Really." Mario leaned forward further, his voice lowering slightly as if they weren't the only ones in the room, "How are you?"

"Healing…" Bird's voice trailed off.  
The seemingly genuine concern in his voice caught her off guard.

"What happened to Dr-" She started to question where the doctor she'd met with earlier had went but he answered the question before she could even finish it, "I offered to take this."

"Seeing as how we're family?" Bird frowned.  
What was he up to?

"Well…" Mario rested his arms on the desk, his hands clasped, "I have tried, unsuccessfully, I might add, to reach out to you."

She shifted, a little uncomfortable in the chair then gestured to the file and asked, "All clear?"

"Yes." He smiled, "You shouldn't have any long term effects from what happened. The brain scans all came back clear, I know there was some concern about the lack of oxygen during the attack, but yes, you're in the clear."

His head tilted towards the left as he added, "Though I do still recommend you wearing the neck brace to help immobilize-"

"Great." Bird flashed him a smile that didn't emit any warmth at all and stood up.  
She had no interested in an further unsolicited medical advice.

She grabbed up her purse and sunglasses from where she'd placed them on the desk while waiting and started for the door.

"Would it really be so terrible to have a conversation with me?" He called after her, "I am your brother."

"I was just on my way to the office." She excused her abrupt exit but then he said something that brought her to a halt.

"I remember you, you know?"

Bird didn't turn around but she heard the metal on the chair squeak slightly as he stood to his feet.

"You were just a baby, of course." Mario continued, "I remember holding you. Those eyes of yours staring up at me…" He shook his head, "I was just a kid, but I remember."

Slowly, she turned back around.  
Faced the sibling she'd never gotten the chance to know.

"You were there and suddenly you were gone and everything in my life changed." He continued.  
Trying to level with her as he explained that's when their father had sent away from Gotham.

Citing the city was far too dangerous a place for him any longer and sparked a new found dedication to the promise Carmine had made to Mario's mother; that he wouldn't raise him into a life of crime.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better… my life certainly didn't turn into sunshine and rainbows after that either." Bird stared at him.

"Look, Bird." He crossed around to the other side of the desk, moving closer so they could talk, "What I'm getting at is that you're my sister. I want to get to know you -why are you so reluctant to do the same?"

"You really don't want to know me." Bird shook her head and let out a small laugh.

"Why?" He crossed his arms over his chest, "The way I see it, we've got over twenty years of lost time to make up for."

"Trust me." Bird nearly snorted, "Reuniting with long-lost relatives is nothing but a disappointment."

The statement was bitter on her tongue.

She'd spent her entire life wanting to know who her biological parents were. Dreaming up make believe lives for them and searching out familiar faces in the crowd.

Nothing could have prepared her for the truth; especially when it came to her mother, Lily.

"Yeah?" He mirrored the laugh when he saw she was standing with her arms crossed in the same stance he was, "What if it isn't? You may not have been old enough to have any memories of me, but I lost you. My sister who's loss I felt and mourned for most of my life. I didn't even know you were still alive until just over a year ago."

Bird's brows lowered and she asked, "Falcone didn't tell you? He's known since I was like twelve."

"No." Mario shrugged, "Which doesn't really come as a surprise, Dad has a history of keeping me in the dark about many aspects of his life."

This time it was Bird who slowly advanced forward, "I didn't know anything about you, but I knew Don Falcone had a son and so then when I learned the truth about him being my father… I just assumed you'd known all along and didn't want anything to do with me."

"I didn't know." He reiterated shaking his head, "God knows that Dad has many flaws, but I do think, in his own way, he's tried to do the best he could by us. But this…" He pulled in a breath, "I wish I had known years ago."

"Would it have changed anything?" She cocked her head to the side.  
The spite was gone from her tone. What she was asking was now a genuine question and not a loaded gun where any answer would backfire on him.

"I'd certainly like to think so." Mario admitted.

"I don't…" Bird tossed her arms out to the sides, "I don't even know where to begin with this."

"Lunch?" He suggested, "Tomorrow?"

He might not have known her very well but he didn't miss the look of hesitation in her eyes.

"I'm getting married. I'm setting up a life here, a family and I would really like for you to be a part of that." His eyes met hers and he questioned, "What have you got to lose?"

 **•••**

* * *

 **A/N - Thank you for reading!  
**

 **I'd like to give a shout-out to: SmellYourScentForMiles, xxXWolfsLullabyXxx, AGBreads, Shadow knight1121, Iamskittles, Havana, Katniss789, Adela, runawaycherry93 and to the Guests who reviewed since my last update. Thank you!**

 **I apologize for the updates being so sporadic, but I can promise I am doing what I can to keep the chapters coming.  
**

 **If you liked the chapter/are enjoying Bird's stories, I would really appreciate it if you'd take the time to leave a review and let me know.  
At the moment I could really use the inspiration to keep up with posting. **


	17. Eyes on Fire

**XVII - Eyes on Fire  
**

" _The soul, fortunately, has an interpreter - often an unconscious but still a faithful interpreter - in the eye." - Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre_

* * *

 **•••**

"See, this isn't so bad." Mario pointed out with a smile as he took another bite of steak then asked, "Why were you so hesitant to get to know me?"

Bird shook her head and paused the conversation long enough to take a drink of her lemonade.

The lunch with her half-brother had been going surprising well so far.

She'd expected it to be strained, the talking forced -like being stuck in an elevator with a stranger.

But it wasn't.

Despite the vastly different upbringings and lives they'd led, there was a strange sense of familiarity in his company.

They'd ordered similar dishes for lunch even.

More than once she'd caught herself staring just a little too long at face, seeking out their resemblances and tallying them up in her mind.

"I don't know." She exhaled loudly, "I guess I just… felt like I knew everything I needed to already."

His eyebrows lowered, "Like what?"

"Come on." She could have rolled her eyes. Motioning over the table and nearly knocking her drink over she pointed out, "I haven't met a single person who knows you that has anything bad to say, Mario. All anyone does is sing your praises and I guess I thought we'd have absolutely nothing in common. You probably came out of the womb knowing you were going to grow up into this great person who saves lives and I…"

Shaking her head she avoided his eyes but was more honest than she'd ever intended to be with him, "I already have one golden boy brother. Didn't think I could handle two."

"Well, not everything is what it seems." Mario answered, "Don't get me wrong. I love what I do and I wouldn't change it, but I didn't get a choice in the matter."

She listened as he explained that their father had pretty much told him how his life would be. It wasn't Mario's first choice to become a doctor, but Falcone made it clear that -that was exactly what he'd be doing.

"Huh…" She exclaimed.

"What?" He asked.

"I thought you'd decided to be a doctor for some poetic reason like; your father takes lives and so you grew up wanting to save them, or something."

She chuckled to herself and shook her head.

"No." He mirrored her laugh, "But that's good. I might have to steal that the next time someone asks why I chose this career."

"You know…" Bird began, "He had plans for me too. Falcone tried to force me into filling his shoes as a crime boss."

"He told me." Mario began, "Well, not all of it I'm sure. Mainly just how he wanted that for you -how close you were to stepping up-"

"Stepping up?" Bird's face twisted, "Did you tell you how he forced me into working with Victor Zsasz to toughen me up? How he nearly had my fiance at the time beat to death solely to keep me in line? Or-"

She could have went on and on. Told him a thousand stories that could have forever changed the way Mario would look at his father, but she stopped when she saw him lay his fork down and scoot his plate away.

Yeah, she thought, as she dropped her napkin into the center of her plate; it was enough to take anyone's appetite away.

"The last promise he made to my mother before she died was that he wouldn't raise me in _that_ life." His chest felt tight as he spoke, feeling defensive.  
Though he wasn't sure over what? Defending himself? His not being raised in life of crime or their father's actions?

Mario had no delusions about who his father was. He was sheltered from much of it as a child and then as he grew older a big part of it was his choosing to stay willfully in the dark.

The petulant child in her started to break though and before she could stop herself she added, "Must be nice to be born into a place of love like that, to have been wanted and have a mother who cared so much about you."

Mario frowned.  
He couldn't speak for Lily, but he knew how much their father wanted and loved her.

It seemed like she was all but flat out saying he was the favorite and she was bitter about it.  
He nearly laughed, nothing could have been further from the truth.

The one thing he was sure of was that even if Bird had been raised in their family, she always would have been Falcone's favorite.  
He'd have raised her right under his wing in a way he never even tried to with Mario.

"First born male and all." Bird added with a swish of her hand.

This time he couldn't hold it in and the laugh escaped, "That has nothing to do with it. You do realize you're his namesake, right? Carmina Falcone."

"Do not call me that." She barely let him get her birth name out.

"Fine." He conceded, "All I'm saying is that you've got it backwards thinking I'm the favorite."

"This is stupid." She shook her head. Pinning her eyes shut, she started to apologize for the outburst.  
In truth she wasn't sure where that had came from so suddenly, but he spoke instead.

"So that's the real reason you stayed so distant?"

"All everyone kept saying was what a good guy you are-" She began.

"I am a good guy." He insisted.

With a half-smile, she argued, "In my experience, the good guys, don't need to go around pointing that out."

"You wouldn't know one way or the other." Mario pointed out, "Not if we don't talk."

"I know that you punched Jim in the face at your engagement party." Bird finally brought it up, "Completely unprovoked, by the way. Which… strangely enough considering I'm not her biggest fan, made me lose some sleep wondering if you ever lose control of your anger like that with Lee."

"You really think…" His voice trailed off, he was stammering, "That… I would hurt Lee? The woman I love? You thought I was even capable of that?"

"Do I think we have it in our blood to hurt the the things we love?"  
Now it was Bird's turn to laugh, "Yes, brother, I do. I know we're capable of that."

"Look." He leaned in over the table some, his tone lowered and speaking with a sense of necessity, "Things got out of hand that night. I reacted in a way that I never should have with Jim, but that's not who I am. Bird, I would never hurt Lee."

He seemed genuinely hurt the insinuation. Like it were so far beyond his realm of comprehension that someone would think him capable of a such a thing.

Maybe he was the exception in their family -maybe not.

"Let's start over?" Mario offered.  
He was on his way to pointing out that they both, well mainly she, had come into this already thinking they had the other pinned down when really they didn't know one another.

But he stopped when he heard a phone chime and saw her start to rummage around in the side of her purse.

Bird flipped open her phone to see a message from Bruce asking where she was and if she could come by the house; stating they had uncovered some new information about the key.

She'd just start to close her phone and planned on replying to him later, but then a picture message came through of the newly cleaned key -all the buildup and tarnish was gone, displaying the top of the key to be the shape of an owl.

"Damn it." Bird exclaimed and tried to get out of the seat so fast she banged her hip bone into the side of the table and cursed again under her breath at the jolt of pain.

Mario scrambled to his feet, "What's wrong?"

"I, uh…" She breathed as she gathered up her coat, "I need to go."

She'd made it a few steps away from the table before whirling around and saying, "And no, we can't start over… but I don't know… maybe we can keep building from here?"

"I'd like that." He agreed with a smile but didn't get to say anything else as she hurried from the restaurant.

 **•••**

Bird stared down to the key in her hand, silently running her thumb over the owl mask engraving.

Selina was proud of herself for coming up with the idea to use a solution of vinegar and baking soda to remove the tarnish and Bruce had been in a panic since before Bird had ever shown up.

Alfred let out a burdened sigh as he watched Bird with the key before stating, "Merely possessing this key could be seen as breaking your agreement with the people that the woman in the owl mask represents."

"Which is why we have to contact them. They have to understand that Ivy didn't know what she was stealing." Bruce blurted.

Bird closed her eyes and encased the key in her fist.

"This is bad." Bird breathed.  
She hadn't yet told her brother what she'd learned about the cabal from Falcone.

Which wasn't much to begin with.  
She knew their name, The Court of Owls and her biological father seemed reluctant to even give that much information to her.

He'd warned her in the strongest possible terms to stay off their radar and put as much distance between herself and the Court as she could manage.

"I'll reach out to Kathryn." Bird offered, thinking that Falcone would surely know a way to reach her, "I'll explain what happened, return the key and see how many of our heads we can save from the chopping block."

"By yourself?" Alfred barked at the same time Bruce asked, "You know how to reach them?"

"No directly." Bird answered her brother, "But I think I know someone who does."

"Wait…" Selina interrupted and Bird was about to point out that it would make more sense if she did this alone. If she played her cards right she might be able to get by without even letting the Court find out anyone besides her and Ivy knew about the key.

But Selina was arguing that point, instead she was looking around the room. "Where is Ivy?"

Alfred's gaze cut over to the door which was left open after the redhead had made her escape for the day, "Bloody hell, she's gone!"

"How did she disable the alarm?" Bruce questioned.

Meanwhile Selina kept staring at Bird, until she finally turned to the curly haired teenager and questioned, "What?"

"I just figured you'd know where she was." Selina's shoulders rose and fell with an overly-dramatic shrug, "Seeing as how every single time she leaves and comes back all she wants to talk about is her new best friend."

"She attached herself to me!" Bird defended, "She somehow got it in her head that we're besties and now she will not leave me alone."

"Yeah!" Selina exclaimed, "Because she doesn't have anyone-"

"And I've been looking out for her!" Bird spoke over the younger woman.

"Stop." Bruce cut in looking between his sister and Selina, "Right now we need to find a way to return the key and explain what happened."

"No." Bird turned to her brother who was now just as tall a she was, "We have to find Ivy first. She's still a target and probably out there as we speak stealing other things that's going to get us all killed."

"She's probably fine." Selina's comment seemed optimistic, "She'll come back when she gets hungry anyways."

Bird shook her head and started towards the table that she'd dropped her purse on to get her phone and try calling Ivy.  
A few weeks ago Bird had given her a cellphone so she could reach her if she ran into trouble.

A privilege Ivy had almost immediately started to abuse by calling at random times just to see what she was doing.

Before she could retrieve her cellphone the landline started to ring.

A sinking feeling rose in her stomach and instead of picking up the receiver, Bird turned back and looked at everyone else.

Sharing in the same feeling of dread that shrouded Bird, Alfred walked over and answered the call, "Wayne Manor?"

" _You have the necklace? We have your friend. We'll make exchange, no?"_

Alfred glanced over to Bird, silently relaying that Ivy wasn't just out for a stroll.

"Where and when?" Alfred's tone was flat.

Bird looked down to the best friend bracelet on her wrist. The one that Ivy hadn't just gifted to her, but had spent the time to craft by herself.

"Give me that." Bird muttered as she pulled the phone away before Alfred could stop her.

"Who is this?" She clutched the phone to the side of her face.

"What's going on?" Selina questioned from the background, "Is it about Ivy? Is she okay?"

The line was silent before she heard a male's voice with a thick accent, _"You have the necklace?"_

"I think we both already know the answer to that." Bird's tongue was sharp and she looked over as Alfred slid a pen and paper on end table to her so she could write down the directions.

" _We'll make exchange for your friend."_

"Yeah?" Bird breathed, "Then let me speak to her."

" _We will kill her-"_

"You kill her and you lose your leverage." Bird didn't miss a beat.

"Wait!" Selina's heart started to race in her chest and she moved closer but Bruce stopped her, "No, it's smart. We need to know that they actually have her… that she's okay."

" _She is alive. For now."_

"Listen…" Bird loudly breathed the word into the phone, "I've had a rough week and frankly I'm not in the mood be playing games-"

The man on the phone tried to interrupt her, but she spoke louder and didn't stop.

"If you want your necklace back then I need to know my friend is alive and in once piece -because like I said, if she's not then you've lost your leverage and I can guarantee that necklace looks a hell of a lot better dangling on my chest than it would on yours."

" _You have no idea what you're dealing with."_  
The person on the other end of the line warned, but she thought she'd heard something resembling a laugh.

"Neither do you." She kept her voice firm.

There was silence, so quiet in fact, that for a moment she thought they'd hung up on her. But then she heard some rusting noises and it sounded like he was commanding someone to speak.

"Speak?" Ivy bumbled, straining to put her ear to the phone that her captor was holding out for her, "What am I supposed to say?"

"Ivy?" Bird's grip tightened on the receiver.

"Bird!" Ivy's voice echoed through the tunnels around her, "Thank God! You have to save me-"

" _You have your proof of life. Whether or not she says that way is up to you."_

Picking up the pen from notepad, Bird repeated the same question Alfred had asked earlier, "When and where?"

 **•••**

Bruce stepped out of the car and looked around. They were in a part of the city he didn't think he'd seen before; even during the time he spent on the streets with Selina.

It looked deserted.  
Crumbling buildings with broken windows spread out for blocks in either direction.

They hadn't passed a another car for the last several minutes of their drive to the location.

"Anybody else realize we're in the middle of nowhere?" Selina questioned as she hugged the open flaps of her leather jacket closed, "If we disappeared literally no one would even know where to begin to find us…"

Her voice trailed off and her shoulders drooped with the realization that no one would come looking for her anyways. The only people who'd notice her absence or care enough to try and find her were the ones she was there with.

"Bringing anyone else in isn't an option." Bird stepped up beside her. Then she quietly added, "Not even Jim."

"The deal we made wasn't about protecting ourselves." Bruce nodded at his sister and then looked to Selina, "The woman that we spoke to made it very clear that they'd come after everyone who we cared about."

Alfred retrieved a crow bar from the trunk of the car to remove the cover to the manhole they'd been instructed to go to and offered to the the rest of group, "Give me the key and I'll sort it out."

"No." Bird and Bruce in unison. They looked at one another and Bruce added, "We need to speak with them personally. We're the ones who made the deal."

"Very well." He accepted. It was clear there would be no talking either of them out of it.

"There's no way of asking you to say here that doesn't end with you yelling at me, is there?" Bruce asked Selina.

"Nope." She replied.

As the group made their way down into the underground tunnels, Bird thought in some ways meeting with an top secret organization under the city was fitting.

Then again, this couldn't have been further from the way things happened the first time around.

For the first time since seeing the owl engraving on the key it crossed her mind that maybe they weren't dealing with the Court at all.

"Guys-" She started to voice her concern, but at the same time Bruce caught sight of where Ivy was handcuffed to a metal railing and yelled, "Over there!"

"Ivy!" Selina called out to her friend.

A wave of relief rushed over her and she stopped struggling against her bindings, "About time."

She wasn't sure how long she'd been held hostage but it felt like the ordeal had lasted days.

As they moved closer to where she was chained, three men, all dressed in black walked out of their hiding spots in the shadows and stood between them.

Bird stepped closer, as if she alone would be enough to shield Bruce, Alfred and Selina from harm.  
But it was Bruce who spoke first.

"My name is Bruce Wayne. I need to speak with Kathryn."

One of the men stepped closer to them, taking the lead of the group and Bird narrowed her eyes -he had to have been one on the phone.

"She needs to understand that we've honored our deal!" Bruce's voice cracked at their stoic expressions.  
Everything and everyone he cared about was possibly on the line due to a mistake and yet he was looking at three men who didn't seem to care the slightest for what he had to say.

"Hand over the necklace and you get your friend back." His eyebrows raised, "That's the deal."  
Did they not realize how a trade worked?

"The family name isn't a door opener everywhere little brother." Bird glanced back at him.  
She knew he was used to the Wayne name capturing attention and perking up ears, but there were some places in Gotham where that didn't matter.  
And it seemed they were currently standing in the middle of one.

"I thought we went over this on the phone." The leader of their group directed his attention at Bird, recognizing her voice as the one he'd spoke with, "The necklace in exchange for your friend."

"You mean the key, right?" Bird took a slow step forward, then inched even closer when no one immediately drew their weapons, "You're not getting that until we've spoken with the people at the top of your organization."

"Maybe we just kill you and take it?" He had an amused expression on his face. A knowing smile.  
Like he was privy to things they knew nothing about.

"You think we're stupid enough to bring it with us?" Selina called out as she started to march forward.

Bird's slow yet steady advances hadn't been enough to raise the alert with the trio of men, but Selina's quick movements caused them to raise their weapons.  
The very same crossbows they'd been chased with before.

Alfred drew his gun in response and Bird threw a protective arm in front of Selina before she could move any closer to them.

Selina looked down and then back to where Bruce and Alfred were standing. Again, realizing the only people in the world who truly cared about her were standing in the same room -only this time she didn't feel sadness over it.

"You want your key?" Selina asked with a jolt of attitude, "Then I'd listen to them."

"Put the tools down." Alfred nodded to the two men standing to the sides of their leader who were both holding the crossbows.

Bird stared at the man she'd been speaking with on the phone, "I get it… usually my go-to is violence as well, but my little brother is here -so let's try to keep this civil, yeah?"

The smirk he'd been wearing spread into a bigger smile and he signaled for his men to lower their weapons.

"We will return the key to you, in exchange for Ivy and the reassurance that our original agreement stands; the assurance that our friends are safe." Bird moved closer again.

This time it was him who narrowed his eyes at her.

Bruce also advanced a few steps, "We need to speak with the woman in the mask."

"Any assurances that woman gives you are lies." The man responded and this time he stepped towards the group, "The people you are talking about have no honor. They will betray you as they betrayed us."

"You don't work for the Court, do you?" Bird asked and without a breath in-between added, "Who are you?"

"I'm Luka Volk." He introduced himself, "And no, we don't work for them. We work to destroy them."

"Who are they?" Bruce stepped out from where Bird had kept strategically placing her body in front of him in case they were under fire.

"They call themselves The Court of Owls." Luka answered the question.

Bruce's eyes immediately went to where his sister was standing beside him.  
 _'You don't work for the Court, do you?'_  
Her words replayed through his head. The Court, she'd used the terminology before their name had been revealed.

It dawned on him that she'd already known, that she'd been withholding information from him.

"And you are?" Luka questioned, his attention going back to Bird.

"Bird." She introduced herself but didn't make eye contact.  
Instead she was watching the other two men release Ivy.

"That's my brother Jacob and Dmitry." Luka motioned towards his fellow gang members.

Once freed, the frightened redhead darted over to her friends as she fast as her legs would allow and got behind Bird, confident that she'd protect her from any further harm.

"What's with the stupid mask?" Selina questioned, wondering why the one they called Dmitry was donning a metal mask covering the lower part of his face.

Luka let out a small laugh and pointed at her, "I like you. You remind me of my sister back in Kiev."

Then he explained to the group that Dmitry is only an initiate to their gang, that the mask would insure his silence until he's able to prove himself and become a full member.

"A member of what?" Bruce pushed, seeming to have recovered from from learning Bird hadn't been entirely honest with him.

"We are the called The Whisper Gang-" Luka started, but Bird cut him off, "Gotham's most notorious smugglers? No… they were ran out of the city years ago."

"Wrong." Luka argued, "We used to number in the hundreds until the Court saw our growing strength and offered us a partnership… only to betray us. Many of our members fled back to the Ukraine, but a few of us stayed behind, hoping to find a way to enact revenge."

Another smile appeared on Luka's lips, "And we did."

"The key?" Bruce asked, "What does it open?"

"A safe." The man of formerly few words seemed to be spilling information to them now like a open faucet.  
Enemy of my enemies seemed to endow a strange comradery.

Luka went over to the table near them and spread out some maps that had been rolled up, explaining their theory that there was safe in one of the buildings owned by the Court that they believed contained a device that could destroy them.

"Like some kind of weapon?" Alfred asked the question on Bird's mind.

"Honestly, we don't know." He admitted, "We captured a member. They wouldn't say what was in the safe, only that the Court fears it falling into the hands of their enemies."

"Wait…" Selina breathed, "Wouldn't they know you stole it? They'll probably just be waiting for you there."

Luka told them that there were originally two keys. The court still has one of them and the second one was lost until they'd found it.

"You mean we did." Bruce displayed the key they'd brought with them, despite saying they hadn't.

Bird watched him; apparently the trust born out of having a common enemy had grown in him as well.

"The Court killed my parents and I agreed to stand down because I thought there was no way to defeat them." Bruce said.

"What are you proposing?" Luka asked with a raised brow.

"If what you're saying is true, if there is something in that safe with the power to defeat the Court then that's no longer the case." He voiced his train of thought.

Bruce offered up a partnership. Suggested they join forces to take down The Court of Owls.

Luka seemed reluctant at first, but quickly came around to the idea. This might very well be the best shot they had at their revenge.

They made arrangements to meet at the end of the week to further develop a plan of attack.

The walk to exit the tunnels and climb to above ground was silent -aside from Ivy asking if they could stop somewhere for food on the way back to Wayne Manor and then excitedly realizing she was no longer a target.  
That she was free to go about her life now and no longer needed to stay at the house.

"Starling." Bruce said once they were near the car.

"Yeah?" She turned to face him.

"I thought that after we spoke with Kathryn that we both agreed to stop looking into what happened to mom and dad -into the organization." His face was twisted up.

"We did…" Bird nodded.

"Did you?" He pushed.

"Of course!" She exclaimed.

And in reality she had.  
She hadn't dug into anything or asked around; the only thing she'd done was confront Falcone about knowing about the cabal and the hit on her parents.

"Then how-" Bruce started to ask but then stopped. It dawned on him that she hadn't been aware of her own slip up.  
And he wasn't going to tell her. He just wanted his sister to be honest with him.

"I stopped." He stated, "I completely stopped looking into any of it to keep us safe. To keep Alfred and Selina and Detective Gordon and everyone else safe."

His eyes locked with hers.

He remembered something their father had told him once, about how you can always see the truth in a person's eyes -no matter what their mouth is saying.

"Can you say the same?" He asked.

"Yes." She answered, "Of course, little brother."  
Bird eyed him for a moment before shaking her head and walking past him, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze as she went.

Bruce stood in place for a while longer, a sinking feeling in his stomach growing by the second.

She'd lied to him.  
With their lives and the lives of loved ones on the line -and she couldn't be honest.

A part of him wanted to chase her down, confront her with the evidence, ask her how she'd known the group was called The Court of Owls then, but he didn't.

Instead he pulled in a deep breath and started for the car where everyone else was waiting on him.

The feeling of hurt wasn't dissipating at all, in fact, it was growing.  
If she'd lied about that, what else could she be hiding from him?

 **••• A few days later •••**

The setting sun was at her back as Bird made her way into the GCPD building.

Coming to a stop inside, she glanced around trying to catch sight of Jim but she didn't see him.

The chair was slid out away from his desk but he wasn't there.

Looking up to the open second level she saw Bullock in the Captain's office but he was alone.

"Can I help you?"

Turning around she saw a young officer dressed in uniform.

She opened her mouth to ask if he knew where Jim was, but before she got the chance he recognized her and said, "Oh."  
Angling his head over his shoulder he yelled, "Gordon!"

She arched a brow.  
The judgemental look on his face hadn't been lost on her.

"Yeah?"  
She heard Jim's voice from across the station and looked up to see him approaching the railing of the interior balcony that over saw the station.

"Girlfriend's here." The young cop yelled as he was walking away.  
Like being in her near vicinity was toxic and he might catch something.

Bird glanced around as the noise from the sea of desks quieted some and she could feel several sets of eyes on her.

Maybe they all thought she was a criminal or maybe it had something to do with her shooting of Captain Barnes the week before.  
Possibly even the fact that she was wearing a dress that cost more than what most of them made six months.

"Bird." Jim greeted, walking towards her so fast he was nearly in a run.  
He had a manila folder in one hand and his free hand landed on the small of her back as he guided her away from the middle of the station where so many people were staring.

"Everything okay?" He asked once they had a bit of privacy.

"Yeah." Bird looked over towards where she'd been standing and asked, "What was that guy's problem?"

"Oh, he's new."

"Okay…" Bird breathed. That didn't explain anything, "Why was he acting like I've got the plague.?"

Jim's eyes met hers and he looked back out to the station where a few sets of eyes were still on them before he looked back at her, his head cocked to the side.

"Is this because I shot Barnes?" She asked.

"No. Everyone knows he was infected with the Tetch Virus."

"Oh!" Her head titled back some and she asked a little too loudly, "Because I'm a criminal."

She could have laughed, as if a big majority of them weren't on Oswald's pay roll or involved in illegal activities on the side.

Jim's face scrunched up and he ran a hand over the back of his head.  
He was all too aware of how many of his nosey co-workers were watching them like they were the leads in some bad reality show. "Maybe don't yell that so loud in a police station?

"Wait…" Her voice lowered this time around, "Do they all give you crap because of us being in a relationship?"

"No…" Waved a hand through the air, "Not all of them."

"Wow." She sucked in a breath, "I honestly hadn't thought of that. I mean I get crap from people about us -along with reminders of what would happen if I betrayed anyone I used to work with, but I didn't realize the blow back from here you'd get. Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's not a big deal." Jim assured her.  
And it wasn't.

They didn't know Bird like he did.  
Plus, a good majority of the force was still dirty and some of them even thought he still belonged in Blackgate.

"I can stop coming be here?" She offered.

"No." He stepped in closer, "I'm serious, it's not a big deal."

"What are you doing here though?" He asked, "I thought tonight was the pre-rehearsal dinner-"

"Yeah." She cut in, "But I already told Mario I wasn't going to make it."

"You're off the clock now right?" She looked hopeful, "I thought we could grab dinner instead. I mean-:" She gestured to the dress she was wearing, "I want to go home and change first, but after that."

"Sounds good to me." He agreed with a smile, between all of the wedding preparation and his working late this would be their first dinner together all week, "Is everything okay though?"

Bird had been meeting with her half-brother every day for a while now. Just that morning they'd went to breakfast together.

"Yeah." She smiled, "You ready to go?"

"I just have to talk to Bullock about this." He held up the folder, "But then I'm ready to go."

Bird smiled to herself as Jim led her over to his desk so she could have a seat while waiting on him, as if she didn't know where it was.

She watched him go into the office, which was now Bullock's since he was acting captain of the GCPD.

Letting out a heavy sigh, she reached down and pulled the uncomfortable heels she'd been wearing off.

It had been a long day.

She'd had breakfast with Mario and then went to the office for a few hours before she'd reached out to see if Bruce wanted to join her for lunch before her busy afternoon; but her little brother declined, citing he was too busy.

She wasn't sure with what, it wasn't like his social calender was booming. But he'd gotten off the phone so fast she didn't have a chance to pry.

Then her afternoon was full with a dress fitting now that she was bridesmaid in the wedding and then changing into the dress she was in now and shoes that were definitely built for viewing and not walking in.

They'd hired some photographers to take some group photos before the wedding of the bride and her crew. Something Bird didn't even want to be a part of, but ended up getting roped into.

And now here she sat in a dress shades lighter in color than she preferred. She was pretty sure the light color would leave her looking washed out the photos; especially if they did them in black and white.  
It also seemed to have countless layers; much poofier than any dress she'd pick for herself.

A familiar feeling of static was on her skin now. The alert of someone watching her.

She looked around, wondering if the officers were still watching her, but they weren't.  
That's when she spotted a little girl with dirty blonde hair spying on her her.

She couldn't have been more than seven or eight.  
She was sitting on the floor next to a woman who Bird assumed was the girl's mother.  
The woman was sitting in a chair next to Detective Alvarez's desk.

The girl gave Bird a big smile, a few gaps were visible from where she was losing her baby teeth and Bird smiled back at her.  
She nearly laughed as she remembered when Bruce lost his two front baby teeth right around the same time and had trouble enunciating words correctly in their absence.

The girl looked back down to the coloring book she'd been scribbling in but the activity only drew her attention for a few more brief seconds before she was watching Bird again.

The girl looked up at her mom and then as quietly as she could, got to her feet and trotted over to Bird with her coloring book and few crayons in hand.

Bird thought at first the girl maybe recognized her from TV or the papers, but instead she shyly asked, "Are you a princess?"

Bird laughed and looked back down to the dress she was wearing. To a bright eyed young girl it probably did look like a princess dress.

"What's your name?" Bird asked her.

"Mary." The girl beamed as she climbed up into the chair by the side of Jim's desk and laid her coloring book on top of some closed file folders Jim had laying there.  
She was coloring a picture of a cat; a pink cat with yellow stripes.

She started to roughly scribble in more pink color on the cat image on the page, the cheap crayon leaving uneven layers of wax behind.

"What's your name?" Mary repeated the question back.

"Bird."

She stopped coloring and looked up at her, "That's a silly name."

Bird smiled at her, "It sort of is, isn't it?"  
She watched as the little girl laid the crayon down and started flipping through pages until she found what she'd been looking for, a picture in the coloring book that was already half-filled in from the week before but then she'd moved onto another page.

Bird couldn't help but let out a small laugh as she saw the girl staring at the bird she'd been filling in with a dark blue crayon and then looking back to the few crayons she had with her -none of which were hues of blue.

She finally decided on the pink crayon she'd been previously using and stared to color what was left blank on the bird.

Bird looked over to Mary's mother, who had her head in her hands and was nodding at something Detective Alvarez was saying to her.

"What happened?" Mary asked Bird as she pointed towards her still bruised neck. The little girl's bright green eyes went to the side of Bird's face that was still healing from where her face had collided with the pavement.

"It's not as bad as it looks." Bird kept the smile on her face.

"Did a bad man hurt you?" Mary questioned and then quickly dropped her eyes back to her coloring book and seemed to grow uneasy.

"I survived." Bird lowered her head some trying to catch the young girl's line of sight again but she wouldn't look back up at her, "That's what matters."

Mary nodded and nervously glanced over her shoulder to where her mom was sitting.

It was when she turned her head that Bird caught sight of the faded bruise on the side of her face.

Her eyebrows lowered and she realized the girl was wearing a coat despite it being a rather warm day.  
She watched as Mary reached out for a different crayon and she saw her wrist peek out from the sleeve; purple marks on her skin in the shape of fingerprints.

Swallowing hard, she glanced around them and then leaned in closer as she asked, "Did a bad man hurt you?"

Mary's coloring came to a abrupt halt and she refused to looked back up at her.

Bird whipped her head back around to where Mary's mother was still speaking with Alvarez and for the first time she took the entire sight in.

The woman's slouched posture, the long sleeve shirt and the way she kept fidgeting nervously with her arms at her sides, hands in her lap. Like she were trying to fold in on herself, shrink down; became too small of a target to hit.

"Mary." Bird's voice was barely a whisper and she gently reached out to move the hair from the side of her face to reveal more of the faded bruising. The girl recoiled from the touch as if she'd been stung by a bee.

Bird jerked her hand back and apologized before she whispered, "Did your daddy do that?"

Mary looked back over her shoulder to make sure her mom wasn't watching and then she nodded in an answer to the question. Quickly adding in, "I'm not supposed to tell anyone."

Bird did her best to keep smiling, despite the rage building inside of her.

"Does he do that a lot?" She asked.

Mary chewed on her bottom lip, directing her attention back down to the page and trying her best to color inside of the lines on the animal shape.

"Only when I'm bad." She whispered.

"No." Bird argued, "You've never done anything bad enough to deserve that. It's not your fault."

"Is that why you and your mom are here?" She pushed, "To get help?"

She shrugged.

Then in a rare moment of trust for her, she admitted, "Sometimes I wish he'd go away and never come back."

Mary's bottom lip quivered as she looked up at Bird.  
The expression on her small, round face made Bird's heart feel like it had snapped in two.

"Marisol!"

Mary jumped at hearing her mom's voice and her full first name.

The woman rushed over to them, profusely apologizing for her daughter's intrusion.

"It's okay." Bird rose to her feet and looked behind where the woman stood to see Alvarez wasn't at the desk anymore.

"I'm sorry." She apologized again reaching for her daughter's hand, but Mary pulled away, scrambling to finish coloring the leaf of the branch the bird was sitting on.  
The last part of the picture that needed filled in.

Shifting nervously on her worn out shoes, Mary's mother looked back at the empty desk she'd been at moments before, "Honey, we need to get going. Remember we need to get back before Daddy gets home from work?"

"You're leaving?" Bird took a step forward.

"Yeah." She smiled and nervously touched her split lip when the stretch of skin stung, "Just taking care of some traffic tickets."  
The lie came out without hesitation. Second nature to cover up the truth.

"There are places you can go-" Bird started to say, "You don't have to go back there."

"I'm sorry." She blurted out, like it was a nervous tick and she couldn't stop apologize for anything and everything she said or did, "But I don't know what you're talking about."

"Do you know who I am?" Bird questioned.

The woman avoided her eyes and nodded. She recognized her from the news.

"Then you know I've opened shelters around the city and I can help-"

"Marisol." The woman wasn't listening any longer. Panic had started to set in, she had to be home before he got there, "Now. We have to go."

Sliding down off the chair, Mary tore the page she'd been coloring out of the book and offered it up to Bird.

Doing her best to smile, Bird took the page and looked at it before she cooed, "I love it! Thank you, Mary."

The girl smiled back but the traces of light were quickly leaving her eyes; she didn't want to go back home.

Her mother took her hand and they started to walk away.  
Bird looked around for Alvarez or someone else, anyone else to stop them from leaving, but no one was paying attention.

"Hey." Bird called after them.

When they stopped, Mary turned back around but her mother didn't.

"An artist always has to sign their work." A tight smile stretched across her lips and she held out the page as Mary ran back to autograph it.

Using the pink crayon she scribbled on the page while Bird stared at the back of the woman's head who was still refusing to face her again. Bird internally tried to will her turn around, to accept the help she and her daughter so desperately needed.

Mary handed the picture back to Bird and then ran back to her mom.

Helplessly, Bird watched as they walked away, knowing the hell they were going home to.

Just before they were out of sight, Mary looked over her shoulder to Bird one last time; her green eyes saying every single thing her mother refused to say out loud.

Once they were gone, Bird dropped the page on the desk and sank back into Jim's desk chair.  
Her movements were slow and defeated as she put her uncomfortable shoes back on.

Hearing a loud sigh she looked over to see Alvarez standing at his desk, palms flat against the surface with his head hung in disappointment. Shoulders tense from frustration.

"Alvarez." She started for him.

"Bird." He greeted, eyebrows raising in question of what she wanted.

"That lady was just here, with the little girl-"

"Yeah." His voice was as heavy as his heart, "She asked me for a cup of water and now they're gone."  
His eyes settled on the paper cup of water he'd brought back for her.

Wondering how he didn't realize it was a ploy to get him gone long enough for them to run.  
Or maybe it wasn't and she'd gotten cold feet while he was away.

"But you can get them back, right?" She pushed, "Go arrest her husband and-"

"Bird…" The detective sighed, "You know it's not that easy."

"Yes, but there is a child involved. At the least we can try to get CPS involved." She pointed out.

"She didn't give me her name or anything concrete I could even start to track down." Alvarez explained, "My hands are tied."

Looking at her he said, "I saw you talk to the child; did you get anything from her?"

"The name Mary." Bird shook her head knowing how useless that tidbit would be.

"But that doesn't help at all, does it?" She already knew the answer to her own question before her tongue had formed the words.

Nodding he said, "You know how this works. It takes time for some of them to build up the courage to come forward. Best case scenario; they'll be back and we can step in."

"And worst case scenario is they both wind up dead." Bird pointed out.

"Look." He loosened his tie as he spoke, "I laid the options out for her. Told her about the shelters and groups that she can turn to. Highly recommended the ones you're involved in. They'll turn back up."

"Hey-" Jim's greeting trailed off as he got close enough to Bird and Alvarez to see the sullen expressions on both of their faces., "What happened?"

"DV case." Alvarez explained, "Mother and daughter. They fled before I could get much out of them."

Jim pulled in a deep breath and looked over at Bird, he wished he could say he was surprised but the truth was this was too common an occurrence.

His hand landed on her arm when she seemed to be lost in space, "Ready?"

"Yeah." She answered, her throat felt tight.

She walked over to Jim's desk to retrieve the clutch bag she'd left and her eyes fell to the coloring page. Which as she'd requested, the little girl had autographed.

" _To: Princess Bird_  
 _From: Mary Briggs"_

It was right there in waxy pink crayon.  
Her eyes widened. Marisol Briggs; she had a name. That should be easy enough to reach out to schools and see if they could find her.

She turned back around to share the information, but then stopped.

If the mother wouldn't come forward and press charges than the most they could do would get CPS involved to remove Mary from the home. Do it by the book, the laws that let so many victims fall through the cracks.

Instead of passing the information along to Alvarez, Bird folded the coloring book page up and slid it into her small clutch bag.

GCPD might have to abide by the laws and only have one approach they could take with the situation -but she didn't have to.

 **••• Later that night •••**

Walking back into the sitting room of her townhouse, Bird sat the large bowl of popcorn down on the coffee table and looked at hte TV screen, which was playing the start up menu for the movie they'd rented on repeat.

Crossing her arms over her chest, she stared in the direction of the staircase, but didn't hear any footsteps.

Shaking her head, she yelled, "Jim?"

When she didn't get a response from him she went on a search.

Bird walked into the master bedroom they shared and found Jim sitting on the edge of the bed, a few open folders in front of him spread across the foot of the bed.

"How's it going?" She greeted leaned against the edge of the doorway to the room.

Jim looked over at her and gave a small, apologetic smile as he promised, "I just needed to check over something. I'm almost done."

"You better be." She complained, arms dropping to her sides, "I already fixed the popcorn and you're the one who picked out the movie and-"

"Almost done." He repeated.

She stood there for another minute or so before she trekked over and sat down behind him, draping her arms over his shoulders and leaning against his back.

"Does it bother you?" She questioned.

"I don't know…" He blew out a breath and rubbed his eyes before he held onto one of her hands that she had danging in-front of his chest, "What are we talking about?"

"The guys at the station giving you a hard time…about us?"  
She leaned in further, pressing against him and resting her chin on his shoulder as she waited on a response.

"I already said it didn't." He reminded her, giving her hand a squeeze.

"Yeah." Her voice was a little strained from the underside of her chin and her throat pressing against his shoulder, "But you never told me about it."

"Because it doesn't matter." He stated once again.  
Then his posture relaxed some and he pointed out, "Some of them think I should still be in Blackgate."

"Screw them." Bird said and Jim nodded in agreement with a small laugh.

"But still…" She couldn't let it go.  
Harvey was always so troubled about her history and public perception of her criminal ties.  
Always worried it would cause problems for him at work or he'd be considered guilty by association.

Deep down she feared Jim had the same concerns but wasn't saying it out loud for her sake.

"Bird." Her name came out with an exhale as he turned his head to try and get a look at her, "What did you do today?"

"Uhh…" She laughed, thrown from the seemingly out of nowhere turn the conversation took, "Had breakfast with Mario. Went to the office for a little while. Then I was forced to wear a god-awful dress and pose for pictures for the wedding. Then I met up with you at work and you know the rest: we got dinner and rented a movie for tonight."

"And at which part of the day did you break the law?" He questioned.

"What?" She laughed again.

"You stood in the precinct and declared yourself a criminal -but sounds like you had a pretty mundane day." Jim pointed out.

"Yeah, but-" She started to argue but he cut in, "What about yesterday?"

Bird was quit for a moment before she turned her head and kissed the side of his face, "I see your point."

She pulled back from where she'd been draped over his back and pulled in a deep breath before pointing out, "Maybe I haven't broken any laws lately -but there are people out there who think I'm so bad that the world would be better off without me in it."

Turning around, he faced her, his expression twisted with emotion and concern.

"People like who?"  
He instantly felt like he'd missed something major.

Had someone been coming after her and she didn't tell him?

"Barnes." Bird reminded him.

"He's sick." Jim pointed out, "That was the infection; the virus that fueled him that day.."

"I know." She diverted her gaze down to the space between them, "It's just… I don't know, Jim. A lot of the stuff I've done, I justified it by thinking the world truly is better off without some people in it and I guess I just didn't expect someone to think that way about me."

"It's the virus." He repeated as if saying the same thing again would break through.

When she didn't look up at him, he reached forward and tilted her chin up so he could see her face.

"I know who you are." Jim said, his eyes bore into hers, "And I don't care what anyone else thinks."

"Because you love me?" She smiled.

"Yes." He answered.

Leaning in, she pressed her mouth to his, then pulled back long enough to agree, "Then I don't care what anyone else thinks either-"

The last of her words were muffled when Jim kissed her again; hungrily.  
As if he'd walking through a desert and she was the oasis he'd found just in time.

Her hands landed on the sides of his face, then slid down between them to his chest.  
Palms flat against him for a time before she slid his already unbuttoned shirt off of him, it landed on the still open folders he'd left on the bed.

She dragged her short nails over the bare skin of his arms with a slight shiver as his mouth found the spot on the side of her neck that always managed to seal her breath away.

Heat quickly pooled in her stomach.  
Heart racing as her fingers gathered he material of his undershirt in her hands and soon the white ribbed fabric was on the floor beside the bed.

Jim's breath was heavy and humid against her skin; every place her hands touched him felt like she'd set fire to his flesh.

Bird pulled back, her cheeks already flushed as she looked at him from under her lashes and joked, "I guess the movie we rented can wait?"

"You think?" Jim grinned at her and she knew if she'd been standing that her knees would have just buckled on her.

And just like that his mouth claimed hers again. He leaned in, his body pressing against hers, his hand making it's way up the smooth skin on her outer thigh under the short dress she'd changed into before they left for dinner.

She moaned into his mouth causing his entire body to tense and tighten.  
When he moved closer, his body pressing firmly against hers she laid back, allowing him to move over the top of her.

Bird's fingertips caressed his muscular arms as he paused to look down at her face, her dark hair laying messily against the sheet just beneath the pillow where she'd landed.

His eyes met hers, darkened with want; with need.

But she knew why he'd stopped; more so what he was waiting on.  
For her to signal it was okay, that this was exactly what she wanted too.

He knew her past, what had happened to her as a teenager and how it still effected her.  
Sometimes intimacy started to happen to too fast and she needed a moment to catch up, to take the time to remember she was there with him and not let her mind get pulled elsewhere.  
Jim always stopped to make sure she was okay.

She nodded at him; raised up some from the mattress and pulled his face back to hers, her movements carried an urgency with them.  
She wanted him every bit as much as he wanted her.

Just seconds later her phone started to ring. She turned her head and looked over to the chair where she'd tossed her bag that still had her cellphone inside of it.

"It's probably just Ivy." She thought out loud.  
Followed with a low gasp when one of his hands made it's way further under the hem of her dress.

Bird was so wrapped up in Jim that she didn't even hear her cellphone as it started up on the second round of ringing from the person calling back.

There was beat of silence before the sound of a phone ringing interrupted them once more, only it wasn't her phone, it was his.

"Uh-uh." She breathed against the side of his face. "Ignore it."  
It came out as more of an order than a request; the temperature in the room felt like it was soaring up to dangerous levels.

His hands snaked behind her back, searching for the zipper on the dress she still had on and she leaned up more to make it easier.

Both of them fully set on ignoring the outside world -until the landline phone rang while Jim's cell was getting a second call.

Something had to have happened.

Bird dropped back down onto the bed and tried to catch her breath.

Jim let out a heavy sigh, his forehead lowered to rest against her's for a moment before he moved off the bed and grabbed his phone from the nightstand.

Bird crawled over to the other side of the bed and plucked the portable phone from it's charger.

"Hello?"

"Bird."  
Her name came at the end of an exhale, a sigh of relief from the person on the other end of the line.

"Don Falcone?" Bird was still struggling to catch her breath. Her eyes went over to the alarm clock and she wondered why he was calling her so late. What happened?

"Are you okay?" He questioned, "You sound like you're out of breath."

Taking the phone away from her ear, she looked over to where Jim was still half-dressed, speaking with someone on his cellphone.

"I'm fine." She answered as she brought the receiver back to her ear and tried to steady her heart and lungs, "What's wrong?"

She listened as he explained that someone tried to kill him. That there had been a bomb in the car; like an old style mob hit and he'd been concerned someone might have came after her too.

The explosion happened as he'd been leaving the pre-rehearsal dinner with Mario and Lee.

Everyone was relatively unscathed; other than the poor valet that went to bring the car closer.

Bird turned around to tell Jim what was going on but saw he was already looking at her, the phone call he'd gotten must have alerting him to the crime.

"I'm on my way." He said before closing the flip phone and dropping it onto the bed.

Walking over to him, Bird picked up his shirt from the floor and handed it to him.

His head cocked to the side with an apologetic expression. He opened his mouth to tell her that he had to go to the scene of the bomb, but she didn't let him speak.

"I know." She nodded, "And I'm coming with you."

 **•••**

* * *

 **A/N - I'd like to thank: AGBreads, SmellYourScentForMiles,** **PsychoFishHead, Katniss789, xxXWolfsLullabyXxx, Shadow knight1121, Havana, Adela, MargotD and the Guests who reviewed the last chapter.  
**

 **I really hope you all liked the update!  
**

 **Thank you for reading.**


	18. Messages in Marker

**XVIII - Messages in Marker**

" _A child weaned on poison considers harm a comfort."- Gillian Flynn, Sharp Objects_

* * *

 **•••**

"No. No! You don't understand, okay? My employee got blown up and I want to know what happened, you get that?"

Bird looked over to where local famed chef Roberto was yelling into the face of one of the uniformed officers on the scene trying to get him to calm down.

A useless feat considering he'd just seen one of his most trusted staff members blown to bits by a car bomb.

The scene outside of the lavish restaurant was a glow in shades of red and blue from all the emergency vehicles that had beat Bird and Jim there.

Bird stood in place next to the passenger side of the car she'd just exited. Her eyes darting back and forth between the crowd that was starting to gather on across the street and the hectic immediate surroundings.

The air smelled of fire. Thick with an electric smell. When the wind blew it carried the scent of gasoline with it.

Feeling a hand on her arm, Bird looked over with an almost dazed look to where Jim was now next to her.

"You okay?" He asked.  
Seeming far more concerned about her than anything else in that moment.

"Yeah." She blew out a breath and nodded. Her gaze going over to where the mangled metal bones of Don Falcone's car was still smoking from the explosion, "I think it just hit me that I was supposed to be here-"

"Really?" Jim questioned following her line of sight, "Cause it hit me the moment I got the call about what happened."

When Bullock had phoned to let him know what happened, call him to the scene of the crime, Jim's first thought was that he was thankful Bird had decided to skip the food tasting and for the pre-rehearsal dinner.

Originally it was supposed to be a family affair; but she'd canceled earlier in the day and opted to just have dinner with Jim instead.

"I should find Falcone." Bird breathed out trying not to dwell on the coincidence of it all.

The smoke in the air scratched at her throat, leaving an irritating feeling in her chest.  
Like splinters in her lungs.

"Yeah-" Jim started to agree but didn't get much a chance as Bird turned and briskly walked away.  
Appearing to recover from the shock quickly.

He nearly had to jog to catch up with her.

They spotted Mario and Lee sitting in the back of an ambulance. From a distance the didn't look too badly injured.

Jim and Bird exchanged looks before starting in their direction, only to be intercepted by Falcone, who said it a hushed but serious tone as he greeted the couple, "We need to talk."

"Is everyone okay?" Jim asked him.

"A few first degree burns, but that's it." The former mafia Don explained before he looked Bird over and added, "I was worried when I couldn't reach you earlier. I thought…"  
His voice trailed off.

Bird gave a slight shrug, attempting and failing to lighten the mood when she answered, "Far as I know the only one who currently wants me dead is Captain Barnes."

She shifted her stance when she was met by unamused glances from them both.

"Any idea who might have done this?" Jim questioned once he pulled his eyes from Bird after her comment..

"I've made my share of enemies over the years." Falcone answered in the same deadpan tone of voice that Bird would often use when stating the obvious, "It could be anyone."

"But now?" Bird asked with an arched brow, "You've been back in the city for months now…"

"And my son is days away from getting married." He argued, "When better to settle an old score and take the opportunity to hurt me and my family?"

"Maybe." Jim seemed skeptical too, "Or maybe someone thinks you're coming out of retirement?"

"This was not Oswald." Bird asserted.

"I didn't name any names." Jim argued with her.

"I can read between the lines." Bird didn't back down.

Falcone glanced over his shoulder towards the ambulance where Lee and Mario were still being tended to and then back to where Bird and Jim were arguing between themselves now.

"I'm not coming out of retirement." Falcone raised his voice to interrupt them, "But that doesn't mean I'm going to stand idly by after something like this."

Jim's eyes closed as he let out a deep exhale and rubbed a hand over his face.

He had enough to worry about already without Falcone's men tearing up the city trying to uncover a lead.

He looked over at Bird and was instantly able to read by the expression on her face that she siding with her biological father on this one.

"The captain of police was just indicted for murder and sent to Arkham." His voice was stern but there was a pleading look in his eyes, "The last thing this city needs is you and your men tearing through Gotham looking for revenge."

"I didn't start this." Falcone pointed out.  
The ending was already implied and he didn't need to say it.

That while he might not have started this war he'd have no qualms about finishing it either.

"I'll get to the bottom of it." Jim took a step closer to Falcone's imposing stature, "You have my word."

Falcone gave him a hard stare before the looked beside Jim to where Bird was still standing.

He knew his daughter trusted the detective and in all honesty a part of him did too.  
Even when they were on opposite sides of the law Jim had been nothing but honest with him.

"I'll give you one day." He gruffly nodded.

It was just moments later that Bullock caught sight of Jim and hollered out for him.

When they were left alone, Falcone moved to stand beside Bird instead of across from her.

"You believe him?"  
The question was more of a statement.

"I do." Bird nodded, not looking over to her father as she added, "He'll do everything he can. He always does."

"Yes… within the confines of the law." Falcone voiced.

Bird watched Jim from across the parking lot as he and Bullock spoke with one of the fireman on the scene who'd been one of the very first respondents.

"What are you asking me to do?" Her tone was dry.

"If James Gordon is able to fine the people who did this then you know what you have to do." His tone was every bit as commanding as when she'd worked under him.

Bird's eyes locked with Mario's as he finally spotted them and she wondered if her half-brother had any idea what their father was currently asking of her.

"No." Bird shook her head, peeled her eyes away from Mario's, "When Jim finds the ones who did this… I can't swoop in and take them out. He'll know it was me and it will come back on him. It'll look like he fed the Don's daughter information so we could take care of it."

"No." She repeated, "I won't use him like that."

The scene around them almost seemed to slow and the constant noise muted as Falcone turned his head and looked right at her; his expression silently letting her know she didn't have a choice.

Suddenly she was all too aware of her own beating heart, each thud reverberating from her chest and echoing around in her head.

How was it that years after the fact all it took was one look from him to make her feel like she was still struggling to make a name for herself and willing to do whatever it took to get the Don's approval?

It was almost otherworldly the way she could mentally be catapulted back there so easily.

"I'm not asking you." Falcone explained with an exhale, "I'm offering you to the chance to make sure Gordon doesn't get caught in the crossfire. Which isn't something I'd not be able to guarantee if I sent someone else to do the job."

Crossing her arms over her chest, Bird gave a quick nod rather than a verbal submission and then quickly walked away from him.

 **••• The next morning •••**

"If being captain is such a strain, why do it?" Jim questioned as he watched Bullock pop another antacid that morning.

"I'm the senior guy around here." Bullock tried to shrug it off.

"What about Tuttle?" Jim pointed out.

"Tuttle?" Bullock scoffed, turning his back to his partner and leaning over the railing to survey the rest of the GCPD building below them, "The guy shot a cat last week."

"On purpose?" Jim's forehead lined.

"Does it matter?" Bullock exclaimed, "Look, I may not have always seen eye-to-eye with Barnes but he was a good captain, the least I can do is keep his seat warm until they find some kind of cure for this virus."

"Okay." Jim held a hand up in surrender.

"And-" Bullock didn't seem to notice the white flag being waved, "What was that last night? Bringing Bird to an active crime scene?"

"Falcone called her the same time I got the call from you." Jim explained before he added with an raised brow, "But it's comical you think she'd have listened if I'd told her stay at home."

"That one is trouble-" Bullock started up on his timeless warning that Jim never listened to, but Jim cut him off, "This is her family being targeted, remember? Plus she was supposed to have been there last night."

Bullock rubbed his hands over his face and blew out a sigh, "I'm glad she wasn't there for what happened, okay? She's not all bad and I don't want anything to happen to her but as acting captain I can't have her interfering with anything."

"She's not." Jim all but promised, "She went into the office today…"  
His voice trailed off as he caught sight of the very person they were speaking about walking through the police station doors.

Turning around Bullock saw what, or more so who, had caught Jim's attention.  
Looking back to Jim, he held an arm out to the side in silent question of what the hell she was doing there then.

"Bird?" Jim did his best to smile as she reached the top of the stairs and approached them, "What are you doing here?"

"Just thought I'd drop in and say hi." She smiled and looked between, "Hi."

"Morning." Bullock practically grumbled.

"And I wanted to know what progress had been made with the case from last night." She added.

"Then you're just in time." Lucius piped up as he joined the group with a case file in hand and started to explain, "Results are in. Car bomb used a mercury switch with military grade plastic."

He handed the folder to Jim who looked confused by the news, "That's pretty high end for a mob hit."

"And that's not all." Lucius tucked his hands in his pockets, "The explosive was laced with some kind of accelerant. Made the explosion burn at ten times the heat of standard C-4."

Bullock let out a low whistle at the newly learned information and Bird commented, "They didn't want anything left behind, huh?"

"That was my thought as well." Lucius concurred.

Bullock said he only knew of one person in the city capable of building a bomb like that, stating they needed to track down an ex-military nut-job who went by the name of Fuse.

Once they were left alone with Jim promising he'd meet Bullock at the car in a minute, Bird offered with a hopeful expression, "I could come with you."

"Not a good idea." Jim shook his head, "Look, I know you're worried about Falcone, but I'm going to get to the bottom of this, okay?"

"You don't get it, Jim." Bird's face fell, "Someone came after him and his family. He isn't going to just sit by and -"

"Twenty-four hours." Jim reminded her, "One day. Remember? He agreed to stand down and let me do my job before he took any action himself."

Bird's eyes dropped to the floor.  
Of course she remembered Falcone saying that; along with practically ordering her to kill the person or persons responsible.

"I need you to trust me on this-" He started to say but she laughed.

"I do trust you. That's why I'm standing here asking you for an update on the case instead of…" She caught herself, but not early enough that he couldn't guess what she'd say next.

"Instead of reaching out to a contact on the force?" He guessed and then nodded with a sigh, "Yeah, I know there are still people in here who'd report to Carmine if asked to do so."

"True." A single corner of Bird's mouth started to twitch with holding back a smirk, "But I'd be more likely to use one of Oswald's contacts."

Knowing Bullock would be growing inpatient, Jim gave her a quick kiss and said he had to go but would call her with any new information.

"I need you to be careful." She said to the back of his head as he walked past her.

Jim came to a stop and looked back at her echoing the sentiment, "You need to be careful too. If someone is trying to hurt Falcone and his family then you're in danger too."

That wasn't what she meant, but she held her breath and gave a small nod of agreement along with a smile for Jim's sake.

What she didn't say was that Falcone wouldn't settle for the person who did this to be behind bars and what concerned her was Jim winding up in the middle of something he apparently didn't see coming.

 **•••**

"Hey!" Mario called out with a surprised smile as he saw Bird heading towards him, "What are you doing here?"

"Isn't this your lunch hour?" Bird smiled back.

A look of confusion pooled on his face as he came to a stop in the hallway of the hospital and looked at his younger half-sister, "Did we have plans I forgot about?"

"No." She shook her head, "I just thought I'd stop by and check on you."

Mario laughed, "From avoiding me like the Bubonic Plague to checking up on me in the middle of the day? Definitely making progress."

Glancing around them he questioned, "You on lunch too?"

"No." Bird waved a hand through the air, "I took the day off."

His brows lowered in question.  
He was pretty sure that in the time he'd been on Gotham she'd taken more days off than had actually made it into work.

"Got any lunch plans?" Bird pushed, catching him even more off guard.

"I guess I do now." He chuckled and motioned with his hand towards the elevator, "I was just on my way to the cafeteria-"

"Hospital food? I'm in." Bird joked.

Once they'd chose their food and taken their seats, Mario kept staring at her.  
Clearly she had an ulterior motive for the impromptu lunch date.

She might have warmed up to him a lot in the short time they'd been making an effort to reconnect, but he'd never known to her show up out of the blue just to spend time with him.

Not being as straight forward and blunt as she was when it came to conversing, he started out by asking, "Do you work from home quite a bit?"

When she arched brow and took a drink of her lemonade instead of answering him he continued, "I've noticed you don't seem to make it into the office very often."

"Oh." She nodded in understanding now, "The truth is that the board only brought me on because I was in the public eye at the time -in good standing with most at that. Plus it looks good to have a Wayne working with the company and Bruce is still too young."

Absentmindedly stabbing through the lettuce in her salad with her plastic fork, Bird admitted, "I think everyone who works under me actually prefers it when I don't come in. Seems like the people who held the position before me mainly tossed a bunch of money to various charities and then held dinners with plates over $400 a pop with Gotham's elite so they could pat themselves on the back for all the good they did."

"Wow…" Mario let out a breath, "But you've actually built shelters, right?"

She nodded with a hum and took another bite of the supposed to be chicken and noodles off her hot plate; the flavor was there but the noddles had been cooked so long they'd turned to mush.

"Right now we're focused on a food initiative." Bird seemed to become more animated as she spoke, "Addressing Gotham's food deserts-"

"Food desert?" Mario repeated back the unfamiliar term.

"Basically it's these really low-income areas that don't have any fresh, whole foods available. The supermarkets don't carry much of anything that's nutritious and if they do it's far to expensive for anyone there to afford." Bird explained, "Some of the kids there can't even tell you where a tomato comes from; they've never seen a garden before."

She went on to tell him how her Community Outreach program had even partnered with the Mayor's office to bring more whole foods to those areas by way of hydroponics.

Bird left out how to the idea had only came to fruition due to her jealously over Oswald and Nygma's growing closeness and she'd blurted the idea out to a reporter so her best friend would have no choice but to pledge the Mayor's office involvement in such programs.

"That is seriously incredible." Mario's tone had a splash of awe in it.

Bird smiled and then admitted with a bit of sadness, "No one ever asks about what I do. I mean, not really, usually they just want numbers to put in their articles of how much money was donated or how many people got assistance through whichever program. But no one really ever wants to know what I'm doing behind the scenes to make it all possible."

"Their loss then." He offered a smile, "Because it's incredible."

"Says the doctor who saves lives every day…" Bird started to tease but then her eyes lit up, "You know we've got some free and low-cost clinics that run a few days a week, we're always in need of doctor's to volunteer their time."

"Definitely." He agreed without a moments hesitation, "We'll touch base once Lee and I back from our honeymoon, see what my schedule looks like and I'm there."

"Finally convinced her to take some time off after the wedding?" Bird's ears perked at the newly learned tidbit of information.

The last she'd been told Lee didn't want to take off and leave anyone hanging while they were still trying to find a cure for the Tetch blood virus.

"After everything that happened with Captain Barnes, she agreed it was for the best to get away for a little while." He said with a sad smile.

He hadn't talked her into taking as much time off for their honeymoon as he'd have liked too, but they'd reached an agreement to get away for a short time at least.

"Yeah." Bird nodded her eyes falling, "I know they were close."

Mario cleared his throat and finally got down to what he'd really been wanting to ask, "So, why the surprise lunch?" Before she could say anything he sternly added, "And I'm not buying that you just wanted to check up on me."

He also pointed out how she seemed to be hyper aware of their surroundings and expressed concern that she might be in trouble.

"Someone tried to blow you into a million pieces last night." Bird flatly stated, "I am here to check on you."

"But…" He waited.

"But…" She sighed in defeat, "I just can't stop thinking how Falcone has been in Gotham for months now and if someone wanted to take him out why wait until now? It just doesn't make much sense to me."

"Dad has made more than his fair share of enemies over the years. I agree the timing is odd, but there are probably dozens of adversaries still waiting for a chance to take him down." Mario reasoned.

"You mean take him out." Bird's head cocked, "That wasn't your average car bomb. GCPD found out it was made from military grade supplies… and that's a lot of effort used for a retired crime boss. Doesn't add up."

"I still don't understand-"  
He started to point out that he didn't know why she was there, but then it dawned on him.

"Wait…" He dropped his napkin in the middle of his tray, "You think that bomb was meant for me?"

"I think it's a possibility." She answered.

"Jesus…" He blew out a breath and stared down to the table before asking, "But why? I mean who would do that?"

"That's why I'm here." Bird leaned in some and lowered her voice, "If you've gotten involved in something or I don't know, if anything is going on. You can tell me. I can help you."

"Thank you." With traces of a laugh in his voice he said, "But as far as I know I haven't given anyone reason to try come at me like that. It just isn't plausible."

"Still…" Bird eyed him, "I think I'll hang around for the rest of your shift."

This time a booming laugh came out and he shook his head.  
Sliding his chair back from the table he declined, "Again, thank you, but I don't need a bodyguard."

"I'm quiet." Bird beamed a proud smile, "You won't even know I'm here."

"I'll know." He insisted as he walked to the trashcans and tray return area; she was on his heels the entire time. A shadow he couldn't have shaken even if he'd tried.

"This really isn't necessary." They were now crossing the courtyard on the hospital grounds and he hadn't let up the argument for even a second.

The loud sounds of a motorcycle engine revving cut through the peaceful courtyard along with the piercing screams of medical staff who saw a black motorcycle with two leader-clad riders racing down a flight of cement stairs.

The bike headed right for where Bird and Mario were walking. The passenger of the bike wildly waved a machete through the air at them.  
Both siblings jumped out of the way and ducked, narrowly avoiding a blow from the blade.

The tires screeched as they slammed on the breaks and turned to head back to their missed target.

The sound echoed around in Bird's head, her ears throbbed.

Without wasting another minute the duo on the bike headed right back towards them.

"Go!" Bird yelled as she roughly pushed Mario back out of the way and pulled the gun from the waistband of her jeans and started firing shots at the motorcycle and people on it.

Stunned from what was happening, Mario stumbled back a few staggering steps and looked around almost in a daze as he saw Jim Gordon running towards them, also shooting at the motorcycle.

Between them both, they'd manage to strike the passenger a few times, but they ultimately got away.

"What hell is going on?" Mario finally yelled when he was able to come back to the present.

"Carmine isn't the target." Jim gruffly answered, "You are."

"You think?" Mario was still struggling to catch his breath, "Yeah, I got that. Bird already told me,"

Jim's eyes focused on Bird and he asked, "How?"

It was only minutes ago that he and Bullock had found Fuse dead in his apartment and located a folder full of surveillance on the intended target; Mario. He didn't know how Bird could possibly have learned that in such a short time.

He'd rushed so fast to the hospital that he hadn't even gotten to call her yet.

"I had a feeling." She dropped her shoulder in a lazy shrug before she concealed her weapon again and explained, "The target being Don Falcone didn't make any sense and I doubt they were after Lee. So… process of elimination."

Jim rubbed a hand over his face and looked around them at all the terrified medical staff who'd been unlucky enough to be crossing the courtyard at the time they were there.

His eyes went back to Bird.  
It was a shame, Jim thought, that Bird had turned to the wrong side of the law at such a young age.  
With those instincts, skills and bravery -she'd have made a hell of a cop.

"We need to go." Jim shook the thoughts from his head and took a firm hold on Mario's arm before the doctor could protest.

"Where are we going?" Mario demanded to know as Jim practically shoved him into the passenger seat of his car like a criminal under arrest.

"Police station, I'd imagine." Bird answered as she crawled into the back seat and waited for Jim to get into the driver's seat.

 **•••**

Bird dropped one of the black and white surveillance photos back on Jim's desk and looked to Mario who muttered, "This doesn't make any sense."

Jim emerged from Bullock's office and walked up to them, giving a nod to Bird before focusing on Mario and asking, "Can you think of anyone who'd want you dead?"

"You can't be serious." Mario complained.

"Everyone has enemies." Jim pointed out.

"No." Mario side-eyed him, "They don't, Detective."

"I already went over this with him." Bird spoke up, "He doesn't know of anyone who'd be out to kill him."

"Bird." Jim gave her a smile that was all teeth, "I'm trying to do my job here."

When she didn't budge he added, "Can you give us a minute?"

In response her arms crossed over her chest and she hesitated before finally blowing out a breath and sighing, "Fine. I've meaning to say hi to Alvarez anyways. But for the record, I believe Mario."

"Noted. Thanks." Jim strained with the smile still on his face until Bird finally left them alone.

Once she was out of ear-shot, Mario leaned back with his arms now crossed defensively over his own chest.  
For a moment, Jim was struck at how similar it was to the stance Bird had just been standing in,

"Even I did have enemies." Mario began, "I'd have told Bird before I'd tell you. I mean she did figure this out before you -and this is your job."

Jim's neck tensed at the insult.  
He wasn't sure why, but it was clear to see that Mario was trying to get a rise out of him.

"Regardless." Jim did his best to hold it together and keep his tone professional, "You need to lay low for a while. Limit your exposure until I can find out who's behind this."

"How do you propose I do that?" Mario's face creased with anger, "I'm picking up our wedding rings this afternoon. Lee and I are getting married tomorrow."

Before Jim could respond or say anything Mario took a step closer, "Oh, I see. You want me to cancel the wedding?"

"I didn't say that." Jim cut in when he got a chance, "But a big event like that is going to be nearly impossible to secure. You'd be putting yourself and Lee in danger."

Mario's blood was already running hot and he couldn't hear Jim's logical argument.  
He hadn't even let Jim finish a sentence before he started in, "I bet you'd love that. I run home to Lee and tell her we need to hide, until Detective Gordon can save the day."

Jim stared at him with a nearly blank expression.  
Not sure how Mario was getting any of that from what he'd said.

"This is not a time for ego." Jim said.  
The statement was swift and it cut deep.

"Really?" Mario scoffed, his hands fell to his sides and he tucked them into his pockets, using the few inches of height he had over Jim to try and come off as belittling as possible, "How do you know you'll even be able to find him -or that you'll even try."

This time it was Jim who stepped forward and inadvertently let his anger show through.

"You need to trust me." Jim's voice raised, "Whoever is behind this is going to keep coming until they get the job done."

Bird was heading back over to her where her half-brother was standing after she'd had a chat with Alvarez.  
She'd checked in to see if he'd made any progress in locating the scared little girl her mother who'd been in earlier that week to find out options for leaving their abusive household.

The answer was no.  
Not that she expected anything different, but she was still debating on whether to give the information she had over to GCPD or finding a way to handle it herself.

She felt the hand on her arm before she realized Jim was there with her now.

"He won't tell me anything." Jim said in a low tone, "Keeps insisting he has no idea who'd be targeting him."

Bird's brows furrowed at how aggravated Jim seemed now versus when she left them alone to speak.

"I think he's telling the truth." Bird repeated her earlier sentiment.

"Come on." Jim scoffed, "I know he's your brother but-"

"Whoa!" Bird exclaimed cutting him off, "My judgement doesn't get clouded just because someone is family."

She took a step back, "And it's really insulting that you'd even think that. If I thought he was lying then I would tell you. Hell, I'd tell him that right to his face. Brother or not."

Jim closed his eyes and let out the breath he'd been holding.  
This wasn't her fault, not a bit of it - well aside from the added stress of her interfering with his investigation.

"I'm sorry." He stepped closer.  
All traces of anger gone from his face.

"I shouldn't be taking this out on you." He continued, "I'm just trying to point out that you don't know him that well."

Bird's expression didn't soften.  
Jim might have been right that she hadn't known Mario all that long, but strangely enough she felt like she did.

She felt like she already knew him better than Falcone and in truth she'd been getting along with him easier and better than she was with Bruce.

"I need to step out for a little while." Jim confided, "I'm going to see Carmine. See if he's willing to be more cooperative now that we know his son is the target."

"Good luck." Bird's response sounded rather despondent.

He'd expected her to offer to tag along again and this time he was going to take her up on it; thinking maybe she could get a more truthful answer out of Falcone than he'd be able to.

But she didn't offer.

"What are you doing to do?" He asked.

"Not sure." She shrugged, "Probably stick around and talk to my brother for a while."

 _Brother._  
The word made Jim pause and he watched her closely.  
That was the first time he'd ever heard Bird refer to Mario so casually as family.

"Hey…" He tried to add it nonchalantly into the conversation, "When was the last time you saw Bruce?"

"Probably last week?" She tried to think back, "Why?"

"I was just thinking I hadn't heard you mention him in a while." Jim frowned.

It appeared Bird had been spending less and less time with the Wayne side of her family and more with the Falcone side.

Bird nodded. She probably hadn't mentioned Bruce in a while because for days now he hadn't been taking her calls.

The last time she'd spoken to him, she offered to take him out to lunch and he'd rather abruptly declined and then stated he had to go.

Jim took a couple steps away and then stopped and turned back to her; Bird started to ask what he'd forgotten, but then he caught her off guard with a kiss.

Usually she'd have to force public displays of affection out of him, especially at work, and would still be lucky to get a quick kiss out of him.

"What-" She stammered, "What was that for."

"I'll call you if I find anything out." He didn't answer her question before he turned and left.

"Where's Jim going?" Mario asked as Bird met up with him at Jim's desk.

"Tracking down leads." She answered with a half-truth.

It wasn't a lie after all, he was tracking down leads. She just declined to betray the confidence Jim had in her by saying he was going to speak with Falcone.

"Are you okay?" Mario questioned.

"As far as I know-" Her eyes were a little wide, unsure why he'd asked that.

"The way he dismissed you like that -it was uncalled for." Mario said as he reached out and gave her shoulder a gentle, warm squeeze.

"Oh, no…" Bird chuckled and shook her head, "It's not like that at all. Plus, I am was sort of interfering with his case-"

"Well, I didn't like the way he spoke to you." Mario's eyes locked with hers, "You don't need to make excuses for the way he treats you."

Bird's face scrunched up, "The way he treats me?"

"Okay. Hold up." She breathed with an open palm hand in the air to stop him before he said anything else, "We may not always see eye-to-eye. Do we argue? Yeah, every couple fights. But you have no idea what you're talking about right now and I don't think I care for what your implying."

"I'm not trying to pry." Mario held his hands up in surrender. A little surprised quickly she came to Jim's defense. "That's your life. Your relationship. I just… I can't imagine ever acting that way towards Lee, is all."

Bird's posture softened some at the look of concern on his face.  
She understood he wasn't trying to hurt her or cause any trouble; he was just worried.

Leaning on the railing of the interior balcony at the GCPD, Bird looked out at the scene of organized chaos below.

"I was in a bad relationship." Bird started to open up, "Not with Jim, but before him."

Mario rested his arms and leaned on the railing beside her.  
He watched her but it seemed like she was making a point to speak without turning his way.

"We just weren't good together. For a while he seemed to bring out the best in me and then I brought out the worst in him and we just…" Bird shook her head again, "We tried. Long past the point of where we should have ended it, we tried really hard to make it work, but we just couldn't. Like I said we weren't good for each other. Weren't good together."

"You're saying that things go physical?" Mario carefully asked her.

Bird pulled in another breath.  
The only person she'd really ever talked to about this was Barbara, back when they were friends -after Harvey had hit her the first time.

"Yes." She admitted it out loud.

Tucking her hair behind her ears, Bird finally looked over at him and explained, "My point is; that while it's nice you're concerned about me, you don't have to be. Not with Jim. Being with him is the polar opposite of what I had before. I would never end up in another relationship like that again."

"Understood." Mario frowned at the newly learned intel about her and he started, "I'm really sorry you had to go through that."

"What doesn't kill us, right?"  
Bird eluded to the saying that those moments end up making you stronger in the end.

"So they say." He side-eyed her as she returned to watching the police station activities before he added, "I shouldn't have brought any of it up. It's just… after speaking with Jim, my nerves were short."

Before Bird could inquire further, he said, "He doesn't want me to marry Lee."

"He said that?" Bird stood up.

"Not in those exact words." Mario stayed leaned down on the railing and didn't make eye contact with her, "He said I needed to postpone the wedding -indefinitely."

"Mario?" Bird asked.

When her half-brother stood up and turned around to face her, Bird took a step forward, "What are you trying to say?"

"It's probably nothing… just I got the feeling it went a little deeper than his worrying about security for the wedding." Mario explained.

"You've got a target on your back." Bird pointed out, "Which means Lee is in danger too-"

Bird tried to reason, but he didn't give her much of a chance.

"Exactly. But it's not his job to worry about her. To try and protect her anymore. It's mine and he wants me to just sit back and let him save the day."

Bird saw the vein in his forehead pulse.

"I've been straight with you and I expect the same back. So what exactly is it that you're trying to say? That Jim doesn't want you to marry Lee -because he's what? Still in love with her or something?" Bird staggered back a few steps, "Is that it?"

"I don't know what to think." Mario tossed his arms up in the air, "And I don't know how to say it without hurting you either."

"Do you trust Lee?" Bird asked.

"Of course."  
There wasn't an ounce of hesitation in his response.

"Do you trust Jim?" He fired back at her.

"Implicitly." She answered.

"So it doesn't bother you that he clearly still cares about Lee? About _my_ fiancee?" Mario pushed.

Bird's gaze fell to the floor and she pulled in a deep breath before looking back up to him.

"If we're being honest… yeah, I guess a it does a little bit, but I also understand it." Bird tried to keep her tone level, "You don't get it, Mario. You have no idea what it's like to have the people around you targeted; their lives in danger solely because of their ties to you."

"I do now." He pointed out, brows raised.

"And it's soul-crushing, isn't it?" Bird's brows raised to match his expression.

The truth was that even though she wasn't in love with Harvey anymore, she still cared about him and still carried the weight of worrying someone might come after him due to his ties to her.

"You're right." He conceded.

Pulling in a heavy breath he loosened his tie from around his neck and admitted, "I just keep thinking about that day with Tetch and how close I came to losing Lee. How I should have been able to save her." With a weak laugh he added, "The expression on your face when I tried to shoot him and found out the bullets had been removed from the gun. You had this look on your face like it was such an amateur mistake."

"Well…" Bird chuckled, "You always to want to check your weapons and ammo before your race into battle."

He laughed.

"Lee survived that day because of you." Mario looked at her, "We all walked away from that because of you. She told me that you'd gotten a heads up Tetch was coming for you. You could have ran but you instead came up with a plan, let him take you too."

Bird offered a smile, but didn't state that she'd really only put herself in that position because she didn't much care for the idea of Jim running to Lee's rescue..

"So what would you do?" Mario asked, "If you were in my shoes right now."

"Use myself as bait." Bird admitted.

"Draw them out and finish it?" Mario questioned.

"Before the people I love ended up as collateral damage." She nodded.

"That…" He shook his head and looked around the police station, "That is the smartest thing I've heard all day."

Looking at his watch, Mario said, "I need to make it to the jewelry shop to pick up our wedding rings before they close. What are you doing for the rest of today?"

Bird smile mischievously, "Helping you with some last minute wedding errands."

 **•••**

"Here you go, Dr. Calvi." The woman behind the jewelry store counter smiled as she handed over the rings.

"Thank you." Mario managed a smile back.

Once he was left alone he sat the box down on the glass case and opened it to display his and Lee's wedding bands.

Despite the feeling of danger still very present in the air and the trying day he'd had, he couldn't help but smile.

In close to just twenty-four hours from now he'd be married to the woman of his dreams; the love of his life and he wasn't going to let anything stand in the way.

He'd just returned one of the rings to the box when he felt a strong hand on his arm and Jim gruffly greeted, "Mario."

Before he'd realized who it was, he'd already started to reach for the gun tucked in the waistband of his pants; the gun Bird had given him for the day.

Jim quickly intercepted the move and stopped him, but he didn't miss the sight of the weapon as the doctor's suit jacket flapped open with the movement.

Jim shook his head and gritted his teeth in anger.  
He'd made it clear that the safest place for Mario to be was at the GCPD until this was all taken care of. How hard was it to follow a simple request.

"You really think this is a good idea?" Jim asked, "Using yourself as bait."

"As long as those guys are out there Lee isn't safe." Mario quietly answered.

"They're pros!" Jim argued in a whisper-yelled, "You're going to get yourself killed."

"Relax." Mario smiled but it showed as a smirk, "I've got back up."  
He nodded across the store and Jim followed his line of sight until he spotted Bird.

Letting out a sigh, Jim shook his head as he watched Bird; who was speaking with one of the workers at the store and surveying a display of their finest quality items offered.  
Even in the interior lighting, the sparkle of each piece was distracting from across the room.  
The jewels would be blinding in the sunlight.

Jim looked back to where Mario was staring intently at her, waiting for her to notice they had company, but she wasn't aware of Jim's presence.

"She's easily distracted by shiny things." Jim stated.  
Looking down he smiled to himself.

She'd changed in many ways since he'd first met her; but her affinity for things that shined brightly and glittered had remained the same.

She used to constantly steal objects that caught her eye.  
Sometimes it wasn't even a conscious decision she'd make, more like a compulsion.

As far as Jim knew she at least wasn't doing that any longer; though from time to time he did notice odd glittery trinkets that would show up at the house or pieces of jewelry that didn't look like something she'd buy.

He usually opted to not bring it up.

The longer her watched her, the more Mario realized Jim was right about her being so easily distracted by shiny objects and that she might not be as much help if they were surprised by assassins as he'd hoped she would be.

"Why is someone trying to kill you?" Jim asked him for what felt like the tenth time that day.

Even after meeting with Carmine Falcone, Jim wasn't any closer to the truth.  
Mario's father had sworn that his son wasn't anything like him. That he was the single most decent person he'd ever known.

"I have no idea." Mario practically growled at him.

"Because it seems to me that an operation like this doesn't happen for no reason." Jim stepped closer even though Mario already felt like his personal space was violated, "And now it's not just your own life you're endangering-"

"Do we have a problem, Jim?" Mario turned to face him completely.

"You're putting Bird in the cross-hairs now too." Jim didn't back down, "So, yeah. We have a problem."

For someone claiming to not be hiding anything, Mario sure seemed to be going to great lengths to protect a secret that he kept insisting he didn't have.

"Bird can defend herself."

Jim and Mario both looked over to where Bird was standing beside them. Neither of them knew just how long she'd been there.

With a tense smile plastered on her face she looked between then and repeated, "I'm fully capable of watching out for myself. Have been for years now, thank you."

"I know you that." Jim wholeheartedly agreed, "But this is just reckless."

Her lips pursed into a thin line and her grip on the bag containing the item she'd just bought tightened with anger.

"This is smart." Mario disagreed, "A plan that I thought maybe the police would have set up. Especially when I'm willing to be used as bait to put an end to this and ensure Lee's safety."

"Operations like that can take weeks to plan out-" Jim started to argue, but then stopped himself. It was pointless, both Bird and Mario thought this was the best option and they were sitting ducks in the store.

"We need to get out of here." Jim hoped they'd at least be able to agree on that, "Away from bystanders."

As he turned towards the front of the store, Jim caught sight of two black motorcycles parked outside; both bikes donning the skull and crossbones decorative accents he remembered from the bike at the hospital.

"They're here." Jim alerted them.

"What?" Mario asked as he started to turn and see what Jim had saw, but the detective pushed him back and yelled, "Get down!" Just in time to save Mario from being struck by the machete one of the assassins hurled through the air at him.

With near lightening speed, Jim drew his gun and fired several shots, bringing the man wearing all black down.

Bird was more focused on the one who'd just came through the front door and immediately drove his knife through the abdomen of an older man who was unlucky enough to be standing there.

"NO!" A terrified woman who'd been standing next to him shrieked in horror at what she saw before dropping to the ground and curling up in a fetal position.

Bird shot at him, striking the assassin in the shoulder where he stumbled back and knocked into a wood table with a decorative vase of flowers.

One of the women who worked at store was standing nearby, paralyzed, as she watched the fight ensue.  
When the vase wobbled and started to roll off the table she caught it and looked around frantically.

With a few more bullets, Bird brought the man completely down.

The shop worker looked at her and opened her mouth to say something -or maybe scream, but no sound came out.

"Go!" Bird screamed at her.

She let out a small squeak of sound falling somewhere between a squeal and a scream before turning and running for the room in the back of the store; still carrying the flowers with her.

Catching sight of something behind her in the reflection from the front windows, Bird dropped down to the floor; narrowly avoiding blow from the blade of the man behind her.

As she hit the floor, her gun tumbled out of her hand and she didn't have time to grab it before she had to jump to the side to avoid another swing of the machete.

Spinning around, she kicked her leg out and tripped the assassin, who also fell to the floor.  
Her hand grasped onto the handle of the machete the first attacker she'd brought down had been carrying.

They both scrambled to their feet at nearly the same time, but Bird was just a few seconds faster.  
Precious time that allowed her to knock him backwards; her skilled high-kick landing right in the center of his stomach, both throwing him off balance and forcibly knocking the air out of him.

With a grunt of pain the man's back collided with the wall and before he could even attempt to catch his breath, Bird took advantage of his weakened state and swung the blade across the front of his throat; splaying his neck wide open.

Blood spattered across her face and her breathing was labored as she watched the man's body slide to the floor.

Had they been standing any closer, she'd have taken his head clean off.

Jim was fighting for his own breath as he finished handcuffing the attacker he'd been in a fight with.

Standing up, he he wiped the sweat from his forehead and looked around to check on the status of the scene.

Mario was standing with his back to them; shoulders rising and falling rapidly. The assassin who'd attacked him was lying motionless on the floor.  
Jim had seen enough death in his time to know that man wasn't getting back up.

He then spun around, needing to find out where Bird was -make sure she was okay.

Jim's eyes widened as he saw her, standing in place with one of the machetes in her hand.  
Bright drops of blood bloomed in contrast against her fair skin: standing out like fireworks in the the sky.

When her eyes locked with his, she dropped the blade to the floor and raised her arm trying to wipe the blood from her face but all she managed to do was smear it.

Mario finally turned around to face everyone.  
He'd just done the one thing he didn't think he'd ever do; take a life.

His entire career had been based around savings lives and now he was the reason for someone being dead.

He wasn't sure what to feel in that moment; or maybe it was the lack of feeling that left him unsettled.

Remorse was completely absent from the table.

He glanced back at the body on the floor and realized he was glad the son of a bitch was dead.  
These people, these monsters had set off a bomb that could have killed Lee and for that he hated them with a rage he'd never felt the likes of before.

 **•••**

Back at the police station; Jim looked through the one-way glass into the interrogation room where the only assassin that had survived the jewellery store attack was seated.

"What happened to the others?" Falcone questioned as he glanced over at Jim, "You said there were multiple assailants.

The retired crime boss had been waiting at the police station when everyone returned.

"Four in total." Jim's voice was dry, "Mario killed one of them."

He side-eyed Falcone as he spoke, remembering just earlier that day when he'd sworn Mario was single most decent person he'd ever known.

"Clearly it was self-defense." Mario turned his head and looked to the other side of his father where Jim was standing.

It was, there was no denying that these people were out to kill him, but it didn't set right with Jim.

The two Bird had killed were in the heat of the moment; in a middle of a fight for her life where it was either her or them.

But the one Mario killed had been strangled. Not only does it take a lot of strength to choke the life out of another human being, but it also takes minutes to do so.

Minutes that the victim is growing weaker and weaker, eyes starting to roll back, they rapidly lose their strength and stop fighting back before they're dead.

There was a point when Mario had to have realized he was killing them, that the other person was so weak he could have stopped an subdued them until Jim could slap cuffs on him; but he didn't.

"The others?" Falcone asked, his eyes focused on the traces of their reflections in the glass.

"They came through the front entrance of the shop, Bird was the closest to them..." Jim answered clearing his throat, "They're dead."

"Of course they are." If the day hadn't been so harrowing he could have smiled, but the look of pride shone in his eyes when he looked at Jim and added, "That's exactly what she's been trained to do."

Mario closed his eyes with a sigh of disappointment.  
It was clear from the first lunch they'd had together that Bird was still holding onto some resentment towards their father.  
Hearing comments like that he couldn't blame her.

"Hey." Bird greeted a she entered the room. The hairline around her face was still damp from where she'd been washing the rest of the blood off in the bathroom.

Unaware she'd just been the topic of conversation, she added, "Bullock's right behind me."

"Are you okay?" Jim questioned as she stepped up to his side.

She nodded, giving him a soft smile he couldn't bring himself to return.

"Ran the guys prints." Bullock got right to business as he entered the room with the latest updates, "Not in the system. Which, considering he's a pro wasn't that hard to believe."

"Still." Jim faced him, "Now that we have him, we should work him. Find out who's behind this."

"Better act quick." Bullock informed him, "Call just came in. They're transferring him to a federal facility upstate."

Jim's face twisted. What could the Feds want with him already? How would they have even gotten word so quickly.

"No, we can't let this guy leave." Jim argued.

"Yeah." Bird agreed, "Can't you just tell them no?"

Bullock blinked at her in disbelief, "It doesn't work that way!"

He wanted to say that he lived in the real world; he couldn't just snap his fingers and have everything bend to his will.

Adjusting his hat he explained, "My hands are tied. If the Feds want him, then they get him,"

"The question is why though." Jim asked.

"Maybe someone wants him out of this precinct. Away from us." Falcone offered up and Bird nodded in agreement. That was the only train of thought that made any sense to her as well.

"I don't know anyone with that kind of pull." Bullock shrugged.  
He didn't have any alternate theories, but it would take a hell of a lot of juice to pull something like that off, especially so quickly.

"I'll see if I can buy us some time, but it probably won't do much good." Bullock left the viewing room and Jim followed him with Mario just steps behind, wanting to know what they planned to do next to ensure his and Lee's safety.

Falcone stared at the man who'd refused to say anything in the time they'd had him custody.

The only people he knew with the kind of power Bullock was referring to would be The Court of Owls; which would also explain the fast manner in which the man hired for the bombing, Fuse, had been disposed of.  
They never left loose ends.

Still he had to know for sure.

"We have to get in there." Falcone stated.

Turning to face him, Bird displayed the keys she'd lifted from Bullock with his knowing.

"Good work-" Falcone started to compliment but Bird cut him off.

Pushing her hand with the keys towards him she flatly said, "Do your own dirty work."

He took the keys and without another word she turned and left.

"What's Lee doing here?" Bird questioned as she saw Mario leaving the station with his fiancee.

"I called her." Jim admitted as he turned around to face Bird.

There was a beat of silence. The swift sting of betrayal like a sharp jab to the ribs.

"Why?" Bird pushed.

"Because she deserves to know what's going on. That Mario is the real target and not Carmine Falcone." Jim defended.

"Agreed." Bird slowly nodded, "But… it's also not your place to interfere in their relationship."

"Agreed." Jim repeated back with an eyebrow raised in question at her, "But, again, she deserves the truth."

Bird squinted her eyes at him, before she pulled in a deep breath and slowly released it.

Mario had been really upset earlier when he'd been talking to her and she wasn't going to let what he said about Jim not wanting Lee to get married mess with her head.

 **••• Later that night •••**

"Ooh!" Bird exclaimed as she leapt up from the couch to grab a small shopping bag from an decorative end table across the room, "I got you something earlier today."

Ivy's eyes widened with excitement, "What is it?"

Without a verbal answer, Bird held out the bag to her newest friend.

Ivy hesitated; she'd been surprised to get a call from Bird earlier that evening with a dinner invitation; in truth the friendship had started to feel a bit one-sided.

Ivy was always the one reaching out to Bird and even when she agreed to meet up it felt more like Bird was humoring Ivy's idea that they were now the best of friends.

Ivy's eyes fell to Bird's wrist where the friendship bracelet had been since she'd secured it on her; she'd honored her promise that she'd never take it off so far.  
And then there was how quickly Bird had sprung into action to come save her when The Whisper Gang had abducted her.

A smile spread over her lips as she accepted the gift.  
Her brow arched at some smears of dried blood on the outside of the bag.

Seeing what she was focused on, Bird reminded her, "I told you what happened at the jewelry store earlier today."

Ivy started to nod, but then her eyes doubled in size at the realization that -that must mean the present was something expensive.

She didn't even try to conceal her eagerness as she pulled the velvet coated box out and let the blood stained bag fall to the floor.

Not taking the time to appreciate the feeling of luxury in her hands, she popped the case open so fast it nearly broke the delicate metal hinges.

"Whoa!" Ivy gasped.

Nestled in black satin inside of the box was a bright emerald bracelet with small, delicate looking diamonds faceted between the green stones.

For a moment she wasn't even able to speak; it was the most gorgeous thing she'd ever seen.

"Is this real?" She finally asked before she could stop herself.

Of course it was real, she could have face-palmed, for Bird to drop a lot of money on a single bracelet was nothing.

Bird didn't even justify the question with a response, just let out a small laugh and shook her head.

"I'm never going to take this off. I swear." Ivy stammered out, pulling the bracelet from the case and getting to work on fastening on her wrist right next to the friendship bracelet she'd made that matched Bird's.

"Selina's gonna freak out when I show her this." Ivy continued without pausing for a breath, "When I told her I was your best friend she didn't believe me." Trying to mimic her friend's voice she repeated what Selina had told her, "She's just being nice to you, dummy."

Rolling her eyes, Ivy continued, "I told her that was wrong, cause you're not nice."

Bird's brows lowered and her head cocked to one side as she stared at her.

Ivy was too distracted by the shiny new bracelet to realize in her ramblings she'd just insulted Bird; who shrugged it off. It certainly wasn't the worst thing anyone had ever thought about her.

"Thank you!" Ivy's voice was shrill will excitement as she flung the top half of her body forward on the couch and caught Bird by surprise with a tight hug.

"Welcome." Bird replied, patting the younger woman's back as she waited for Ivy to release her grip.

When Ivy finally let go and moved back to her own cushion on the couch, Bird smiled at her.

As much as Ivy's child-like energy weighed on her nerves sometimes; it was nice to have someone around who was truly excited to spend time with her.

Jim had let her know when she left the GCPD earlier in the day that he'd be working late and would have to take a rain check on their dinner reservations.

It wasn't a lie, she knew that, but she also had a feeling he knew she was the one who'd slipped Falcone the keys to the interrogation room.

In their absence, the former crime boss had gotten in the room with the suspect and worked him over.  
She wasn't sure exactly what he'd done to the man, but when Jim and Bullock finally busted into the room the suspect was bleeding heavily from his mouth.

Falcone had then let them know he'd discovered who was behind the attempts on Mario's life.  
He didn't go into detail or drop any names; simply stating it was a former associate and he'd take it from there.

Then he walked right out of the police station as if he still owned the city.

Needless to say, Jim wasn't at all happy with the turn of events -leading Bird to believe he more so didn't want to have dinner with her and used the heavy workload as an excuse.

Instead of spending the night sulking and letting their reservations go to waste, she'd invited Ivy to have dinner with her instead. She'd been meaning to speak to her for a few days and seemed had the perfect opportunity now that they were back at Bird's townhouse alone.

"Ivy-" Bird began, "Your dad was abusive, right?"

The bright smile the younger woman had been wearing slid from her face; like icing on a cake that wasn't given the proper time to cool.

"Yeah, so?"  
She shook her head.

There was a jolt of attitude in her voice. Something she couldn't control. She hated talking about it.

"If somebody could have stepped in and stopped him when you were little; stopped him from hurting you and your mom, you would have wanted that… right?" Bird pushed; either not reading the reluctance in her tone or not caring.

"I guess." Her arms crossed, clamped tightly over her chest. Physically shutting down, "Your boyfriend killed him anyways, so what does it matter now?"

"Bullock is the one who killed him." Bird corrected, "To save Jim's life -your dad was trying to kill him."

Ivy could have argued that was only because Jim was chasing him.  
That her dad hadn't really been the killer they were looking for, but like she'd said minutes before -what did it matter now anyways.

"I get that it's hard to talk about." Bird reached out, her hand landing on Ivy's arm, "I went through some pretty terrible stuff before I was adopted, I get it. And I'm sorry for asking but I need some advice."

Bird gave a soft shrug, her posture slouched forward.

Ivy's hard stare softened as she watched Bird fall backwards against the plush back of the couch.

Tucking her long hair behind her ears, Ivy admitted with an exhale, "No one ever asks me for advice."

"He wasn't all bad." Ivy swallowed hard.  
She felt like there was a before and an after in her life.

Before her dad was killed and her mom committed suicide; and then the after.

She didn't like to dwell on the before, it was too painful and after Fish's lackey aged her up she felt like that was another life. A different Ivy.

There were some good memories of the time with her parents. Like when her dad would win big at a card game and they'd go out as a family to celebrate.

Those were the only times she ever remembered her mom bothering to dress up; the only times she remembered seeing her mom really smile. I  
f she really focused on the memories she could still hear her dad's laugh that seemed to erupt straight from his belly as they'd talk and laugh at restaurants they usually couldn't even afford to dream of going to.

Living for a night or two like they were on top of the world.

Those memories; those nights were the best.  
But the good times were gone as quick as the winnings he'd earned.

Soon enough they were back to barely scraping by.  
Back to the screaming and yelling, the glass shattering and holes being punched in walls.  
Back to her mom crying in the bathroom, smoking the cigarettes she kept hidden by the small open window and thinking no one could smell the smoke on her when she came out.

Those were the bad memories; the ones she wished she could forget.  
The blood, bruises, broken bones and their tiny apartment falling into a state of terror.

In those times she hated her dad.

Closing her eyes and pulling in a deep breath, Ivy said, "He was so mean."

Getting up from the couch, Bird said she'd be right back before disappearing up the stairs.  
When she returned she handed Ivy a folded up page from a coloring book.

With a confused look on her face, Ivy unfolded the paper. Laid it on her legs and tried to flatted out the creases.

Ivy's eyes scanned the page, the child's coloring of a bird sitting on a branch; pink and blue shades that didn't go together.  
The chunky signature on the blank space at the bottom of the page,  
" _To: Princess Bird_  
 _From: Mary Briggs_ "

"I was at GCPD the other day and this little girl came up to me." Bird relayed the entire encounter to her.  
From the secrete Mary divulged about her dad being abusive and how she wished he'd disappear so he couldn't hurt them anymore.

How Mary's mother was skiddish, spilling one apology after another like she felt her existence was an inconvenience on anyone she crossed paths with.

"This. This is why," Bird poked the coloring page still sitting in Ivy's lap, "I need to know if when you were in her shoes, if you would have wanted someone to step in."

"I had someone track them down." Bird continued, "I know where they live, what school she goes to, where her dad works, the bar he visits nightly…"  
Her eyes darted up to the clock on the wall.

"I could pass the information along to the detective Mary's mom was talking to, but they have all these protocols they have to follow, the best we can hope for is CPS removing her from the home, but the foster homes and orphanages in Gotham… some are worse than what she's living in now, but…" Bird's voice trailed off before she admitted, "If I remove her dad from their lives then she and her mom can start over."

"Remove him." Ivy slowly repeated the words back, her head raising to look at Bird, "Kill him?"

"Yes." Bird nodded.

Ivy stared at her before she folded the coloring page back up and handed it to her.  
Even though Bird had said she wanted advice on this, Ivy could tell she already had her mind made up -even if she wouldn't admit it out loud.

"I want to come with you." Ivy asserted.

"Ivy, no-" Bird started to argue, but the redhead cut her off, "I've killed someone before."

She told her friend about the man who'd been there when she emerged from the river after Marv had tried to age her up to death but she'd fell after he'd barely touched her.

How the man had taken her to his house, offered her food and water -but couldn't be bothered to look after his house plants.

"He was nice enough at first." Ivy said, "But then he just kept saying how pretty I was…"  
She shivered, a chill at remembering how the atmosphere in the house had seemed to changed.  
Remembered how her skin prickled with the way he'd watched her so intently. The feeling of danger that rose up inside of her.

And then the relief that followed once he was dead.  
When she'd made the decision to make sure he was eliminated before he got the chance to hurt her.

Bird listened to her recount her first kill intently.

"You're the first person I've told." Ivy admitted.

With eyes squinted in curiosity, Bird questioned, "Do you regret it?"

Ivy almost said she did, a reflexive response without thought or meaning behind it.  
After all, if you murder someone you're supposed to feel bad about it, right?

But he was killing numerous plants and didn't feel any guilt over that.

"No." Ivy said after thinking it over. Her eyes locked on Bird's and she told the truth, "I don't feel bad about it."

Bird's lips curved up in a smile at the raw honesty of her response.  
She'd always been a drawn to people who'd confess their darkest impulses in the light of day.

With Ivy on her heels, Bird walked into the kitchen and stopped at the refrigerator where they kept a small dry-erase board for when she and Jim needed to jot something down for the grocery list -or leave a note for the other.

Picking the magnetized marker up from beside the board, Bird uncapped it and scribbled a quick message for Jim to see when he got home, so he wouldn't worry about her not being there.  
' _Jim,_  
 _Going out with a friend tonight. Be home late. Don't wait up._  
 _Love you_ '

 **•••**

* * *

 **A/N -** **I'd like to thanks AGBreads, Shadow knight1121, PsychoFishHead, Havana, Adela, SmellYourScentForMiles, DancingDorisDay and the Guests who took the time to leave a review for the last update.  
**

 **I hope you all liked the chapter.  
And I really appreciate everyone who is still reading and sticking with me now that Gotham has ended and through my sporadic updates. Haha**

 **Sometimes it's tough to find the time to write and stay motivated when I do have free time.  
So just know that the support my readers show me means the world!  
**

 **If you're still reading Bird's story (or new to the madness), please consider taking a few moments to leave a review and let me know what you thought of the chapter.  
Your feedback truly goes a long way in helping me stay inspired.**

 **xx**


	19. Serpent in the Water

**XIX - Serpent in the Water**

" _I leaned against my door, struggling to catch my breath, and thought that maybe hell wasn't a place at all, but a thing. A contagious thing. A thing that could creep up the steps, seep through the crack under my door, grow horns and sprout fire - smelling faintly like sulfur. A thing that could sink its tendrils inside and take root, coloring everything gray and distorting a smile into a sneer." - Megan Miranda, Fracture_

* * *

 **•••**

"Starling?" Bruce questioned as he sat in the chair opposite of where his older sister was sitting, "Did you hear me?"

Slowly Bird raised her head and looked at him.  
Her face was nearly expressionless and maybe it was the lack of response, of any readable emotion, that sent a chill down Bruce's spine.

Without a word to him, Bird stood up and started to walk away.

"Stop!" Bruce scrambled after her, grabbing onto one of her arms to stop her when she seemed determined to leave without speaking to him.

"Why?" Her voice was razor edged.

"Did you hear me?" His voice cracked, "You could be in danger. All of us-"

"I heard you." Bird interrupted, "Every damn word, Bruce. How Volk got killed and his brother showed up… how you went ahead with the plan to steal the weapon that could be use against The Court."

Her voice raised, "How could you not fill me in on this? How could you move ahead with the plan and not tell me any of it? What happened to being in this together, huh?"

Bruce shifted on his feet under her hard stare. Death by a thousand cuts.  
The way she looked at him. The tone of her voice.

His face twisted, she was far from innocent and yet was laying all of this at this feet like it was all his fault.

It wasn't something he was used too; being looked at like like he was the guilty one.  
A bitter pill he refused to swallow.

"You were the one hiding information from me!" He yelled back at her.  
After all she'd done; he didn't see how she could stomach playing the victim in this situation.

"What are you talking about?"

"The day we saved Ivy." Bruce's voice was shaded in venom that he'd been holding in since they day in the tunnels.

The hurt and betrayal he'd felt had morphed into rage somewhere along the line.

"You called them The Court… long before The Whisper Gang told us about them." He argued, echoing her hurt and sentiment, "What happened to us being in this together?"

"A name!" Bird took a step back, "You purposefully went behind my back and hid things from me because I knew what name they used?"

"What else did you know?" Bruce stared her down.  
It wasn't just the withholding of their name, more so that if she hadn't shared that, what else had she been hiding?

It doesn't take much for the seeds of distrust to bloom.

"Nothing!" She defended, "I asked Falcone about them and all he gave me was the name. I didn't tell you because it wouldn't have any good, Bruce. It wasn't a real lead, nothing that could help us."

"I asked you. After we were out of the tunnels, I asked if you'd been honest with me about everything and you said yes. You lied." He accused, "And I'm sorry, but I couldn't trust you-"

"That's the thing about trust." Bird's voice was muffled behind her clenched teeth, "It's a two-way street little brother -and now I don't trust you."

"I didn't do anything wrong!" Bruce defended.

"Neither did I!" She screamed over him.

Running her hands through her hair she sucked in a breath and looked around the room.

"I have always tried to be as honest as I could with you. Done as much as possible to protect you." Bird's voice had lost it's anger, "Even when you tried to make it impossible. No matter the personal cost and now you're going to act like this?"

She shook her head in disbelief and he stared back at her.

 _Personal cost_.  
The term echoed in Bruce's head, words bouncing around the inside of his skull, ricocheting against bone and settling into soft tissue.

"They killed my parents." He blinked rapidly as tears stung at his eyes.

Bird's head titled to the side, "Your parents?"  
She repeated his words back to him.

"And what?" She tossed her arms out to either side, "I can't understand that because they weren't technically my real parents?"

"No-"  
He cried out. His face twisted.  
That didn't come out the way it was supposed to.

Bruce stared at her, brokenness in his eyes as he pleaded for her to understand he didn't mean it like that.  
That he'd never think that, let alone say it to her.

She was his sister, even if they weren't blood siblings.

Bird stared back at him, the look on his face that would usually lead to her forgiving him and wanting to console him just left her feeling cold.

She didn't know if it was teenage hormones or if somewhere deep down he was jealous that while he'd lost his family, she seemed to keep gaining. First her biological parents and now a half-brother.

"I didn't want this to turn into a fight." Bruce pleaded, "I just needed you to know The Court might know it was us who broke into the safe and they could come after you. I wanted to tell you so you'd be careful."

He couldn't stomach the loss of anyone else.  
He couldn't lose his sister -not again. But for some reason he couldn't get himself to say it out loud.

Judging from the volatile feeling in the room, even if he'd tried the sentiment would have fallen on deaf ears.

"Message received loud and clear." Bird gave a lazy attempt at a salute, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

She started to leave again but this time paused in the doorway. Not sure if it was lack of sleep or he'd simply cut her too deep, but it was time to take the dagger our of her own back and throw it at him.

"I've got a busy day ahead of me." She explained, "My _brother_ is getting married."

 **•••**

With a heavy sigh, Bird closed the door to her townhouse behind her and leaned against it for leverage as she pulled her high heel shoes off and tossed them carelessly to the side.

She'd be spending hours in uncomfortable shoes later on that day, no need to prematurely torture her feet.

As she walked barefoot down the hardwood flooring of the entryway, she checked the time on her watch. It was still early, still plenty of time before she had to go get her hair and makeup done for the wedding.

Maybe even enough time to sneak in a short nap before wedding duty time.

She started for the stairs but stopped when she noticed Jim was in the sitting room.

"Hey." She greeted as she walked into the room, "What are you doing home?"

Jim was sitting on the couch, leaned forward with his hands in his lap; he didn't look up at her.

"I tried to call you." He stated.

"Oh." Bird's shoulders sank with a shrug, "Bruce called me earlier and when I left I remembered my coffee but not my phone." With a sleepy smile she admitted, "Realized half way to Wayne Manor that I left it here on the kitchen counter."

Maybe it was the lack of sleep or the fact she was still reeling what happened with her brother that morning, she wasn't sure, but it took her longer than it should have to realize something was wrong.

"Jim?" Bird took a step closer, "What's wrong."

"You tell me." Jim replied, finally looking at her.

"I don't follow…" Bird's voice trailed off.

"GCPD got a call about a body this morning." Jim explained, "Suicide. Guy shot himself in his car outside of a bar downtown."

"Oh." Bird's brows raised.

Jim had a hell of a poker face and she was struggling to read what was behind it.

"Oh?" Jim's voice had a jolt of attitude.

When she didn't show her hand or give anything away, Jim continued, "Then Alvarez tells me it's the damndest thing, that this guy left behind a wife and a young daughter. The same mother and child who was at the GCPD last week."

Slowly rising to his feet, he said, "I called to tell you, because I knew since you talked to that little girl it had been weighing on you."

Bird's posture stiffened as Jim explained how he felt something was off the night before when she'd got home and when she didn't answer her phone, he was worried and had come home to check on her.

She didn't say anything, only stood in place waiting on what he had to say next.  
Waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"I found this." Jim pulled a folded page from his pocket.

He didn't have to open it up all the way before Bird knew what it was. It was the page torn from Mary's coloring book, the one she'd signed with her name.

"No one knew enough to track down this family." Jim shook his head, "No one but you."

"Say what you really want to say, Jim." Bird avoided his eyes, "I'm too tired for these games."

His jaw tensed.

When he'd got home from work the night before he'd been armed with an apology for canceling their dinner plans, for the way he'd been gruff with her at the police station after Falcone had injured the suspect.

To let her know he knew that wasn't on her and he was sorry that he'd taken it out on her and promise it wouldn't happen again.

She had no more control of where she came from than he did.

Only she wasn't there, he'd wandered the house for a bit before he finally saw the new message scrawled on the dry-erase board she'd left for him.

That she'd gone out with a friend and not to wait up.

It was the lack of details in the message that had kept him awake.  
What friend did she go with?  
Where were they going?

But he'd figured she'd left it that way on purpose. To unsettle him because she didn't appreciate his attitude towards her earlier that same night,

He'd only just fallen asleep when she'd crawled into bed with him.

He remembered the shift of the mattress and cracking an eye open in the near darkness of the room to check on her.

"Sorry." She'd whispered, leaning over to press a kiss to the side of head, "Didn't mean to wake you up."

He'd been thankful for the disruption, knowing he could rest easier with her there. Knowing she was beside him and safe.

He'd been so tired that it wasn't until after finding the coloring page and thinking back the prior night that the irregularities came into focus.

Every other night when she came to bed she smelled of her toothpaste and a sugar scrub she used on her face. An oddly pleasant scent of sweet mint he'd grown accustomed to.

But last night when she'd leaned over to kiss him, her breath smelled of alcohol with a touch of mint. Like she'd chewed a stick of gum but hadn't taken the time to brush her teeth.

When her hair brushed over his face he could faintly smell cigarette smoke; there was a staleness with it, like nicotine stains on walls that seemed to cling when you brushed against it.

Her skin was cold and along with the booze and smoke she smelled like the night.

Like she'd came home; peeled her clothes from the day off, changed into her nightie and went straight to bed with the cold air still lingering to her skin.

It all made sense now.

The bar they'd found the man's body outside of was one that allowed smoking; the air would have been thick with it, so much so that even walking through the door would leave you smelling of it.

"You killed him?" Jim asked but it obviously a statement.

"He killed himself." Bird retorted.

Jim's brows lowered, that the was the part he hadn't been able to piece together either. By all accounts the scene was a classic suicide. Nothing out of the ordinary or to lead anyone to believe foul play was involved.

"Bird…" Jim shook his head at her, not amused with the deflection. He repeated her own words back to her, "I'm too tired to play these games."

"You did this." He stepped closer, "Didn't you?"

"Yes." She admitted, her mouth was dry and her tongue almost felt swollen against the roof of her mouth.

"Damn it." His head dropped forward.  
As if he didn't already know the answer.

She watched him while he refused to look her at her and wondered if he'd wanted her to deny it.

Bird tilted her head down, trying to get him to look at her again but he didn't.

"How?" Jim asked, "The crime scene was textbook suicide. How?"

She swallowed hard.  
She would admit her role in what happened, but she had no intention of telling him how she'd pulled it off.

"It doesn't matter." Bird shrugged again even though he wasn't watching her.

 _She and Ivy had discussed how they'd kill him on the way to the bar but they'd still been undecided by the time they got there._

 _It wasn't until later on that night that she'd pulled Ivy into the bathroom with her for a break from the noise. From the unpleasantness of the atmosphere that the plan had come together._

 _They'd barely been at the bar for ten minutes before their target had approached them. Squeezing in the space between them and making them both uncomfortable. Arms stretched out across their shoulders as he repeatedly told them they were much too pretty to be there alone._

 _The obvious glances down their tops as he stood above them._  
 _Unwanted touches that left them feeling like they'd need to scrub down with bleach._

 _It wasn't even a part of the plan, talking to him._  
 _Bird had said they'd observe him and probably follow him when he left, but he'd been the one to approach them._

" _Another for them!" He called out to the bartender to refill Bird and Ivy's drinks, "On me."_

 _Like it would guarantee that at least one of them would leave with him._  
 _As if plying them with alcohol and picking up the tab would ensure they owed him something._

 _It was the feeling of his hand sliding down Bird's back and the liquor stench on his breath as he leaned over to whisper to something to her that she didn't want to hear, that Bird jerked away from him and scrambled off the bar-stool._

 _She'd have laid him out if she wasn't trying to avoid making a scene._

" _Ladies room." She chuckled with a tight feeling in her throat as she grabbed Ivy's hand and pulled her along._

 _Once the door swung shut behind them, Bird leaned over the sink and took a few deep breaths._

" _He's sooo gross." Ivy complained, wrapping her arms around herself with a shiver._

" _If I wasn't trying to be invisible, I'd break every single bone in his hands -one by one." Bird grumbled._  
 _She started to say they needed to figure something out fast because it was only a matter of time before she snapped._

 _With a mischievous grin, Ivy pulled the small of clear liquid that she'd tucked away in the side of her bra and reminded Bird of the perfume she'd made from strains of exotic plants that would temporarily make someone be completely under her influence._

" _We could make him break his own hands." Ivy pointed out._

" _Oh my god!" Bird exclaimed, "Ivy! This is perfect."_

" _Right, he deserves it for how he keeps trying to touch us." Ivy agreed._

" _No." Bird shook her head, "Well, I mean yes, but Ivy… we could make him do more than that. We can make him kill himself."_

 _Ivy's eyes widened and she nodded in agreement._

" _This is perfect." Bird repeated, "Okay, look I need to get a gun that can't be traced. You distract him and get him out of the bar."_

 _It was perfect._  
 _No one looks for the killer when it's a suicide._  
 _GCPD wouldn't have to exhaust any resources trying to sole a crime that didn't deserve an ending._

 _It would be as simple as taking the trash out._

" _You got it." Ivy grinned._

"Jim." Bird took a step closer to him, her hand finding his arm, "You have to believe me. Gotham is better off with this guy gone."

Her touch was light over the sleeve of his white button up shirt.  
Like she expected him to pull away; to recoil from her touch.

But he didn't.

"You should have come to me with the information you had." Jim finally looked at her again, but there was a look on his face as if doing so as painful, "It didn't have to come to this."

"But it did." Her voice begged for his understanding, "It was the only way."

"You're wrong." He argued. Voice raised.

"I'm not." Bird tried to keep her tone steady, "You might not want to admit it, but this was the only way to ensure that bastard would never lay a hand on his daughter or his wife again."

"I saved them." Bird stated.

"Saved them?" Jim's eyes went down to his arm where Bird's fingers were now curling around the fabric of his sleeve. She could feel it coming; knew he was about to pull away and she was trying to hold on.

An expression flashed across his face and in a move that surprised them both, it ended up being Bird who recoiled and backed up.

She'd seen that look on his face before, also directed at her. Back when she'd tried to tell him the truth about Theo Galavan and he most certainly thought she had lost her mind.

"I know this isn't the way you wanted it handled." Bird tried to stop herself but one of her erratic sounding laughs erupted from her chest to spite her, "But if you think the law is set up to protect the victims of abuse… then you're the delusional one, Jim."

The system was deeply flawed. No one could deny that.

"You're missing the point." He ran his tongue over his lips, unsure of how to get her to understand.

"I weighed the value of their lives against his." Bird flatly stated, "And I made a decision."

"But it wasn't your decision to make!"  
Jim's outburst caught her off guard.

He took a moment to calm down, compose himself. Knowing that yelling and screaming at each other wouldn't accomplish a single thing.

"Bird." His tone was back to normal and he walked up to her, bridging the distance she'd struck between them. Physically at least. "Do you hear yourself right now?"

"Do you hear me?" Her eyes squinted, "I understand that you don't want me to kill people, but he deserved it."

There it was again, the look on his face shifting, looking at her like she was from a planet other than earth.

' _I understand you don't want me to kill people'_  
Jim rubbed his face.  
Her words still inside of his head. Partially in disbelief this was even a conversation they were having.

Not to mention Bird's completely caviler attitude with such a discussion.  
Saying she'd made a choice as if she'd opted for pizza over burgers at dinner.

They were talking about lives. About human beings.

He stared at her. Though he wasn't sure what he was waiting on.  
Hoping in part maybe the light bulb would ignite above her head, realize that she couldn't just carry on with her life making decisions as to who lived and who died.

But she didn't.  
In fact, she was looking at him like he'd been speaking to her in some language she wasn't versed in.

"Are you planning on turning me in?" Bird questioned.

"You already know the answer to that." Jim answered, his posture slouching.  
The physical weight of keeping her secrets like they were his own.

He was as loyal to her as she was to him, but she certainly didn't make it easy.

"Then what's the big deal?" Her tone was a little lighter than moments before, "As far as anyone is concerned he realized he was a just a waste of space and did his family a favor."

"The big deal is that you killed someone, Bird." He was at a loss, "That you wrote me a note saying you would be home late. You left our home planning to take someones life and came back like nothing happened -you really can't see what's wrong with that?"

She opened her mouth but before she could try to defend her actions again, his cellphone started to ring.

They stared at each other through the interrupted silence for a few seconds before she took a step back and silently waved her hand for him to answer it.

She listened with her arms crossed over her chest to Jim's side of the conversation.  
Knowing immediately their own disagreement was on pause. Duty calls and as always -Jim was bound to answer it.

"That was-" He started to say.

"Work." Bird finished with a feigned smile, "Go. It's okay."

He looked worn down, older than he did when she'd first saw him in the room waiting on her.

"Do you remember the night we were in this same room after Tetch had dosed us with Red Queen?" She hoped she could get him to understand her side of what was happening, "I wasn't in a good place -and you tried to remind me of all the good I do with my position at Wayne Enterprises and all the people I've helped?"

Jim didn't know where she was going, but he slowly nodded.

"Do you remember what I said about all of that?" Her brown eyes were wide as she waited on his answer.

"That…" He searched his memories, "That you didn't feel it."

She nodded.

"I felt this." Bird said, "I helped this family. I did the right thing."

Jim looked deflated. A punching bag someone had let the air out of.

Reaching out he gently took hold of the side of her face and tilted her head so their eyes met again.

She wasn't lying.  
He knew that she truly believed she'd done the right thing, but it was far more complicated than that and she didn't seem to realize the position that put him in.

Did she even stop to think before she'd set out to the bar the night before, he wondered.

Leaning in he pressed a kiss to her forehead and then left without looking back.  
Left her standing in place with the ghost of his touch still lingering on her skin.

 **•••**

"Oswald." Bird answered her phone with a breath of relief.

When her phone had rang just several minutes before it had been Bruce calling her and she didn't feel like talking to him yet.

She'd just been thinking the day before how she hadn't spoken with her best friend in a while and had planned on calling him after the wedding was over and things calmed down again.

Today was a Mayor's award ceremony where he'd be handing the city award in literature to a man who'd published a book on the city's sewers and history.

It was still beyond her why anyone would want to write a book over sewers.

"Bird!" His voice was nasally, amplified by the small speaker against her ear.

"Sorry I can't make it to the book award ceremony today." She began, thinking it was a normal phone call. A catch up between friends leading very busy lives, "But with the wedding I just don't have time-"

"Never mind that!" Oswald took the phone away from his year to yell into the speaker as he was pacing back forth in front of the fire place.

Cringing, Bird quickly took the phone away from her own ear.

By the time she gained the bravery to raise her phone again, Oswald was in the middle of a frantic rant about how he'd confessed his feelings to Nymga; believing that's where the conversation was headed

As it turned out, when Nymga had suggested he felt they should be more than employer and employee -he'd been about to bring up a business proposal for them to be partners on and not enter into the romantic relationship Oswald had been hoping for.

"I mean-" Oswald scoffed, scuffing the side of his shoe against the floor as he spun around to pace back the other way and nearly lost his balance when his bad leg gave way beneath him, "When he said he wanted to take it further than his working under me… what was I supposed to think?"

"Right." Bird agreed her tone a little scratchy as she sat up on the side of the bed and rubbed her tired eyes with her free hand.

Sleep had evaded her yet again.

"I'm sorry, Oswald." She added, "Anyone would have taken it to mean a more personal relationship and not just business partners."

"Thank you!" He barked.  
Sometimes he felt like she was the only other person in Gotham that had any sense.

"But now it's all ruined." His heart sank as he replayed the conversation he and Ed had -had before his Chief of Staff walked out, unpleasantly shocked from the revelation.

"Maybe he just needs time?" Bird tried to offer him some hope.  
Throw a line to someone who was drowning.

"You didn't see his face." Oswald's free hand gripped the side of the table for support as he walked by it, "I don't know that he'll ever look at me the same."

"I know what you mean." Her breath was heavy into the microphone, "Jim and I had this… I don't even know if it was a fight, just…" She struggled to explain, "Basically, I did something that needed done but he doesn't agree with my methods and he was looking at me like I was delusional-"

"Who cares?" Oswald's stomach was a ball of nerves and he couldn't hold still.  
Nor could he stomach hearing about Bird's love life troubles when he'd just ruined a shot at his own.

Her brows raised, if they'd been face-to-face she didn't think she'd have had the restraint to not strike him.

"If you don't want someone to wallow in misery with then why did you call me?" She snapped.

"To fix this." He answered like it was the only answer that made any sense.

"How?" She laughed, "Nygma and I aren't exactly friends."

"Because we fixed this." Oswald strained, "We fixed us. After…" He lowered his voice, "After I told you how I felt towards you and you didn't return the feelings. I need to know how to get back to the way things were before."

"I don't know that you can." Bird said, trying to be as gentle as possible but still tell him the truth, "I hope you can but every situation is different. Maybe you should start with telling him how much he means to you-"

"That's what destroyed it in the first place." Oswald rolled his eyes.

His heart was still racing against his rib cage.  
Trouble thinking clearly when his body was stuck in a state of flight or fight.

"Not like that!" She grumbled with a small noise as she stood up and stretched her back out after her unsuccessful attempt to nap, "As a friend. Tell him how important he is to you and that you want him in your life -even if all he can give you is friendship."

"That's…." He pulled in a breath and his racing thoughts slowed some. He didn't feel as hopeless, "That sounds like a perfect place to start."

Taking the silence on the phone as her turn to vent, Bird said, "Jim knows me. He knew how I handled things before we were ever together. So it's not like he didn't know what he was getting into. And it's not like I walked up and gunned some innocent person down in the street-"

"Bird!" Oswald interrupted her again, "Focus. This is about Ed!"

Without another word to him, Bird took her phone away from her ear and clamped the flip-phone shut.

If he didn't have time to listen to her then she wasn't going to make time to listen to his woes either.  
Sometimes he was the most selfish person she'd ever crossed paths with.

As she made her way into the bathroom, her reflection in the large mirrors brought her to a halt.

She looked awful. Her face was blotchy and her eyes were puffy -not to mention the tangled mess of hair hanging limply from her head.

What a mess, she thought as she stared at her reflection, The stylists for the wedding would have to work miracle to get her presentable for all the photopgrahy that would be at the wedding that night.

A mess, she thought again, her life had spiraled into disaster within a matter of twenty-four hours.

It felt like someone was playing a cruel joke on her and she wasn't in on it.

 **••• Later that day •••**

"You didn't have to rush over." Mario said as he opened the door to let Bird into his house.

"Jim arrested you?" She asked as she walked past him inside of the house.

Rolling up the sleeve of his royal blue shirt, Mario showed the band-aid on his arm, "I couldn't leave until they tested me for the Tetch virus. Results were negative, of course."

"God." Bird sighed, "I am so sorry."

"For what?" His brows lowered, "This is on him; not you. You don't need to apologize for him."

"But I think this is my fault." Bird shrugged off her coat onto the arm rest of one of the chairs and dropped into the seat, "We got into a disagreement earlier and he's tried to call me a few times since then and I haven't answered."

"I just…" She laughed and rubbed her face, "I am having the absolute worst day."

"I don't even know why I'm laughing right now because it's been terrible. One thing after another, It's awful." She shook her head at herself.

"One of those days where if you don't laugh about it, you'd cry?" Mario guessed with an empathetic expression.

"Not gonna lie." Bird nodded, "I'm getting there."

"Drink?" Mario offered as he started to pour himself one.

"No." She declined.

"You sure?" He asked, "Come on. Have a drink with me and we can play a game of trying to one-up the other with how miserable the day has been."

She didn't agree, but didn't protest when he set the crystal glass half-full of amber liquid on the coffee table in front of her before sitting down on the couch across from her.

"You don't want to play 'whose got it worse' with me." Bird warned, "I'll win. I got into a fight with Bruce this morning, he practically disowned me."

"Well…" Mario let out a heavy exhale, "I got arrested on my wedding day -by my fiancee's ex. Who is telling people I'm infected with a blood virus that's turned me into a rage driven lunatic."

"That is pretty bad." Bird chuckled.

"And we've still got a good part of the day to go." Mario tipped his drink in the air.

"I killed somebody." Bird cleared her throat, "And Jim found out."

Her brother stopped, his expression falling blank for just a moment of hesitation before asserting, "I'm sure you had a good reason for doing what you did."

Bird nodded, eyeing the drink on the table but not consuming any of it.  
She had a feeling if she started drinking that day she might not be able to find it in her to quit.

"I did." She agreed, her eyes getting a bit of life back in them, "He was beating the crap out of his wife and kid. He wasn't going to stop either."

"So you saved them." Mario pointed out.

"That's what I thought too." Bird agreed, "But then Jim…" Her voice trailed off.

"It's not important." She swiped a hand through the air. Clean slate. "You're getting married today and the last thing you want to do is listen to my troubles."

"Not true."  
He assured her that he cared, that he wanted to hear what was going on and that he'd always be there when she needed him.

It seemed like her biological half-brother was the only one she could get along with anymore.

Several minutes later their conversation was interrupted by a phone ringing.

The siblings stared at each other until Bird asked, "You gonna get that?"

"It's not…" His voice trailed off and he raised up from his seat, feeling around on the cluttered coffee table until he uncovered a cellphone right as it stopped ringing.

"Lee's." Mario explained, "Must have forgotten it this morning when she left."

Bird nodded, accepting it was left there by mistake. After all, Lee surely would have a lot on her mind that day trying to get all the last minute touches together before the wedding.

She laughed as she told him how she'd actually forgotten her own phone earlier that morning.

When he didn't respond to the coincidence, Bird asked him what was wrong.

Holding out the phone he showed her the missed call log with the most recent at the top: Jim Gordon.

The phone chimed an alert of a voicemail and Bird's heart sank.

Seeing the look on her face, Mario reasoned, "It's probably nothing-"

"Play it." Bird ordered.

Obeying, Mario played the message on speaker for them both,  
"Lee! Lee, it's Jim. Listen you can't marry Mario. I have to tell you something. Call me as soon as you get this."  
There was a pause, the sounds of car honking nearby.  
"You cannot marry him."

The message ended and Mario slid the phone shut, letting it fall from his hand on the table without a word.

"It's not what it sounds like." Bird immediately defended.  
Though she didn't have an explanation for what was happening either.

"I am so sorry." Mario walked over and put a hand on her shoulder, "I know it's hard to hear, but this is what has had me so concerned. That Jim's still in love with Lee."

"No." She stammered getting to her feet to face him, "I don't have an explanation for that-" She waved her arm wildly toward the phone on the table, "But he's not in love with her. He -he can't be."

When she was met by a look on his face of sympathy, saw that he felt sorry for her she felt her legs start to wavier, "I would know, right? I mean why would he be with me… be building a life with me if he loves her?"

"I don't have an answer for that." Mario shook his head, "Other than he's not as good a man as you think he is."

When they heard a car door slam outside, Mario looked towards the windows and said in a tone of disbelief, "Speaking of the devil."

Without a word, Bird walked away, ducked around the side of the stairs just out of sight from the room.

Just seconds later the front door flew open as Jim darted in without even knocking, "Lee! Lee are you here? It's Jim."

"Hello Jim." Mario greeted from the chair he'd just sat down in, "Lee's not here, but I saw you left her a message."  
He picked up the phone from the table and shook it back and forth. Taunting him.

"Drink?" Mario motioned to Bird's still untouched glass.

"No, thanks." Jim declined, "How'd you pass the test?"

"Because I don't have the virus." Mario stated in a tone showing he felt Jim lacked all common sense.  
Stepping closer to him, his voice lowered so only Jim could hear, "Or do I?"

With that he smiled wickedly and walked around Jim, going for a refill of his own scotch.  
"You going to arrest me again Jim?" Mario called out, "You want to look even more like the paranoid ex-lover?"

The glass bottle stopper clinked as he pulled it from the bottle and looked over to where Bird was staying out of sight, "I'll only pass it again."

"I'll find out how you beat it." Jim swore, "Only a matter of time."

"Let's say I do have the virus. How would I have gotten it?" Mario questioned.

"From Tetch." Jim answered, "When he dosed me with a hallucinogen."

Crossing the room and going closer to where Jim was standing, Mario said, "For Barnes, the virus stoked his anger at the guilty."

He paused to take a drink, "What dark part of me has it brought to life."

"Jealously." Jim didn't miss a beat, "You're afraid of losing Lee."

"Careful…" Mario warned, "Don't say something you can't take back. You are in a relationship with my sister after all."

His expression grew pointed but his voice stayed level, "Wouldn't want her to get hurt, now would you?"

It didn't sound like a threat, but the look on his face gave the true intention of the warning away.

"This has nothing to do with Bird-" Jim stepped forward, confrontational.  
It was then that he saw the familiar coat draped over the edge of the chair, realized there was a second glass already full on the table.

"Where is she?" Jim growled.

Misreading the situation, he thought Bird was in danger.  
What he didn't realize was the damage he'd done himself.

From where she'd been hiding she could hear the level tone of Mario's voice when he'd brought up about Jim not wanting her to get hurt, but hadn't been able to see his face to know it was a threat.

She'd been to far away to hear her brother taunting Jim over the possibility of being infected with the virus.

From where she'd been standing the situation made it look exactly like Mario had wanted, for Jim to look like the unhinged one. The paranoia ridden ex who couldn't let Lee go; no matter what it cost him.

"She's right here." Bird announced as she stepped into view and entered the room.

"Thank god you're okay, I was worried-" Jim started to say but the relief he felt at seeing she was unharmed didn't last long as she refused to look at him and made a beeline for where her coat was.

"I am far from okay, Jim!" She exclaimed as she gripped the fabric of her coat tightly in her shaking hands.  
Her face felt like she had flames licking at her skin.

"Bird!" Jim yelled as she darted past them towards the door.  
She had to get out of there.

Physically blocking him from going after her, Mario stepped in the way, "Let her go." He said, "I think you've damaged her enough."

"You son of a bitch." Jim's voice was a growl from behind his teeth.

"You sure you don't want that drink?" Mario smirked.

"I want to know why you put me on your trail. What your endgame is here." Jim stared him down, "What are you after?"

"You still haven't figured it out?" The smirk pulled the corner of his mouth tighter against his teeth.  
Mario walked past Jim to return to the seat he'd been previously sitting in. Leisurely crossed one leg over the over.

With the drink in his hand he looked like he didn't have a care in the world.

Drawing his gun, Jim pointed out, "The virus makes you strong, not bulletproof."

"You know, Jim." Mario asked, "With all this virus talk you seem to keep forgetting one thing."  
His voice centered, "I'm still Carmine Falcone's son."

Jim's brows lowered.

Looking past Jim's shoulder, Mario smiled, "You know Victor, don't you?"

Jim whirled around but not in time to get the drop on Victor Zsasz, who already had a gun and trained eye on him.

Victor smiled, predatory as a shark, "Hi-ho."

With a satisfied smile on his face, Mario raised his glass and finished off the last of his drink.

 **•••**

"You're a miracle worker." Bird complimented the stylist who'd just finished up with her, "I look human again."

With a chuckle, the woman finished closing up her make-up case and laughed, "That's why you pay me the big bucks."

"Bird!"

Looking in the mirror on the vanity she was still seated in front of, Bird stared at Jim's reflection as he stood in the doorway, trying to catch his breath from running through the church trying to find her.

"You're not supposed to be here, Jim." She stood up and turned to face him, her eyes cutting up to the clock on the wall. The wedding was close. The church was already filling with the guests.

When the stylist hesitated to leave, Bird gave her a small nod letting her know it was okay.

As soon as they were left alone, Jim started, "Bird, listen-"

"What are you even doing here?" She crossed her arms over her chest, avoided his eyes, "Looking for Lee?"

"She can't marry him." Jim walked closer, "Mario is infected with the Tetch virus."

"Yeah?" She scoffed, "Then why did the test show otherwise?"

He looked around the room, his eyes settling back on her and a pain shot through his chest at how she was acting. It wasn't even that she wouldn't look at him; it felt more like she couldn't look at him.

It had felt like an impossibly long day. The fight they'd had -had been the first in a chain of events that had unraveled into disaster.

"Last night one of the employees who works at the lab where they developed the test for the virus was killed. His key card was stolen." He shook his head, he didn't have time to give a play-by-play of his entire day. He just needed her to believe him, "It was Mario. That's how he cheated the test."

"You saw him there?"

"No."

He explained how he'd been attacked at the lab. How he'd woke up with the word Arkham written on his hand and he'd followed the lead.

Spoken to Jervis Tetch and how managed to outsmart him and get him to all but admit he'd infected Mario with Alice's blood the day he'd dosed Jim with Red Queen at the hospital.

"What is wrong with you?" Bird's tone was sharp.

Her eyes raised to meet his.  
After wanting her to look at him for so long he suddenly regretted it.

The expression on her face, the look in her eyes cut through him like a shards of glass blowing through.

"Seriously." Her tone was breathy, exhausted and weak, "What the hell is wrong you?"

"I know how it sounds, but you have to believe me-"

"Why should I?" She took a step back, "All this time acting like I'm the bad guy. Like there's something wrong with me when even I'm not cruel enough to do what you've been doing."

Jim's face lined.

"You want to say I'm the one living with one foot stuck in the past?" Her voice faltered, eyes stung, "Mario tried to tell me, but I couldn't hear it. Do you still love her?"

"What?" His voice raised. Growing frantic, "No. I'm trying to save her from him. He's sick. He's infected he'll kill her!"

"I have to find him. I have to stop this!" His voice bounced back from the paneled walls of the small room.

"I -I can't do this." Bird blinked as she started past him towards the door but he grabbed onto her arm to bring her to a stop.

"Stop it!" She yelled, jerking her arm away from him and pushing him away from her, "You need to leave, Jim."

"Bird-" Her name came out as a cry for help. An unanswered prayer.

A single tear rolled down her cheek, traced black from the thick coat of mascara on her lashes.

Jim's mouth was open. Trying to think of the right words to say. How to get her to believe him.

Her chin quivered, voice cracking as she asked, "Why?"

"I don't understand." She swatted the tear away and blinked to try and keep anymore salt from spilling out, "You said you loved me, that you wanted a future with me… why… how…"

She felt the moisture on her cheek as another tear broke free and then another.  
Her hand went to her chest, heaving for a breath but all the oxygen was gone.

"After everything-" She stammered in broken words. Breathing in fits and gasps, "How could you?"

"No." It was his voice that was cracking now, "I do love you! Bird-"

Her blurry eyes focused on his face, his frantic expression, the way his eyes kept dating towards the doorway. Like he didn't have the time to be standing there with her.

His mouth was still moving but the sound of his voice had faded into nothing as she stared at him.

And then he stepped forward, a hand reaching towards her. Verbally and physically trying to get her to understand how dire the situation was. How many lives could be in danger with Mario being infected by the Tech virus.

She stepped back. She didn't want to talk to him, didn't want him to touch her -in that moment she didn't even want to look at him.

And so she didn't.

She turned and ran for the door; ran from the room as fast as her legs would carry her. She wanted to keep running, find an exit of the large church and break free into the city and shed parts of her along the way.

Her heart was breaking, her chest physically hurt.  
Heart with a jagged break down the center. Struck by lightening and cracked. Torn apart.

But she couldn't. As much as she wanted to just keep running she couldn't.  
The wedding was minutes away now and she didn't think she had the strength left in her body to flee.

So she settled for a bathroom down the hallway.  
If she couldn't put the distance between them that she needed then a three inch thick door would have to do.

A physical, tangible barrier between herself and the person who'd hurt her.  
If she could torn her heart from her chest to stop the ache she would have.

"Bird!"  
The sound of her name came with a groan as Jim tried to open the door but it was locked and he'd practically collided with it.

Bird backed away from the door.  
Two steps back.

Retreating into hiding; the smartest move when you know you don't have the energy left for a fight.

"Listen-" He started, his open palm hand hitting against the door.

"I'm done listening to you." She yelled with the strength she could muster, "You need to leave."

"Bird-"

"I want you to leave." Bird clarified.

All day she'd been telling herself to just make it through the day.  
It had been one awful occurrence after another.

When it rains it pours.  
But she'd been so convinced that if she made it through the day that with the sunrise she could pick up the pieces -now she wasn't so sure..

"Go away." The emotion in her voice betrayed the anger she's put up as shield.

"This isn't what you think." Jim tried to reason, "Mario is infected. He's dangerous -we're running out of time. I have to find him and stop this before it's too late."

He was met dead silence.  
Cold; a layer of ice covering his skin.

"I'll fix this." His voice softened. Quieted with the vow.

Bird moved closed to the door to hear him.

"Okay?" His head fell forward. Forehead resting against the sanded wood, "People are in danger and right now I have to stop Mario, but when this is over… I'll fix this. I promise, Bird."

He raised his head, he wasn't sure if he heard her move behind the door or if he'd imagined it.

She didn't say anything and he couldn't hear any more movement.

Slowly, she inched closer her eyes going to the gap under the door where she could see his shoes and knew he was still there.

He was hesitating to leave and internally she willed him to stay. Even if someone else was in real danger -she still wanted him to choose her.  
To prioritize their relationship above all else.

There was a hesitation in his step, but finally he walked away.

Internally vowing the same thing he'd promised her out loud.  
That he'd fix everything.

 **•••**

"Hey?" Mario's voice raised in question as Bird darted into the room with him and shut the door behind her, "Is everything okay-"

"We need to talk." Bird asserted.

"Right -right now?" He stammered with a laugh, "You do realize I have a very important event to get to."

She didn't crack a smile at the joke.

The last traces of his smile fell from his face and he took a step closer to her, "Are you okay?"

"I don't know." Bird admitted, standing her ground she asked, "Are you infected?"

"You can't be serious." Mario's worry turned to annoyance.

"I am." She walked closer, "Did Jervis Tetch infect you with Alice's blood?"

"How could you even ask me that with a straight face?" Mario stared at her.

"Jim is convinced-" She started to say but he didn't let her finish.

Closing the distance, he rested his hands on her shoulders, "Look at me."

When she did, he continued, "Do I look like I'm infected with the Tetch virus?"

Her eyes traced his face, the familial features.

In the grand scheme of things she'd only known him a short while; but it felt like a lifetime.  
He was family and more important to her was that he felt like family.

Lately, he'd been there for her more than anyone else.

Which is why a pain shot through her when she honestly answered, "I don't know, Mario."

The look on his face was as if she'd stabbed him too.

His hands fell from her shoulders and he stared at her, silently asking how she could think such a thing.

"I looked Captain Barnes in the eyes and I didn't have a clue he was infected until it was too late." Bird swallowed hard, "And all I keep thinking is that I know Jim and he's-"

"Obsessed?" Mario scoffed.

Dog with a bone.  
The phrase ran through her head, the way she used to hurl it at Jim like an insult.

But it was that very attitude that saved countless lives. It was part of what made him -him.

"A great detective." Bird corrected, "And usually right… as annoying as that can be."

"Yeah?" Mario bit down on the side of his tongue, "Well he's wrong about this."

"If you are infected, then I need you to tell me. To trust me." Bird pleaded, "We can find somewhere safe for you until there's a cure and -"

"I'm not infected!" His voice raised, "I passed the test multiple times."

"I'm asking you to be honest with me." Bird talked through his protest, "As your sister."

"And as your brother, I'm telling you I don't have the Tetch virus." Mario swore.

"And!" He cleared his throat, "I don't have time to stand here and argue with you. I can't be late to my own wedding."

Bird's eyes darted over to the clock and with a slow exhale, she accepted his answer.  
Decided to believe him.

"Okay." Her voice was quiet.

"Okay." He nodded, leaning down some to catch her line of sight.

Managing a smile and trying to ignore the ache in her own chest, she added, "Okay. I'm sorry."  
She waved a hand through the air like she could erase the last several minutes, "I'm really happy for you."

Stepping forward she hugged him, squeezing tightly and silencing the doubt in her mind.

It was a few minutes later she was walking down the hallway when a trio of women passed her, their whispering muted the moment they saw her.

Bird stopped in place, her eyes squinting in question at them.

None of them said a word to her as they scurried past her in their formal gowns.

It wasn't until they were a ways down the hallway that she remembered they'd been in the photo shoot prior to the wedding.

Friends of Lee's -or at least acquaintances that were involved in the wedding.

She felt the color start to rise to her face, the blood starting to pool under the surface of her flesh.

They way they'd whispered and rushed past her, a group of grown women acting like school girls with a secret…like she was the butt of a joke she wasn't even aware of.

They were coming from the direction of the room where Lee would have been getting ready for the ceremony.

Jim hadn't Mario -he must have found Lee instead.

Her heart wanted to turn the other direction, follow in the trio's direction towards the filling pews of Gothamites showing up to witness a Falcone wedding.

But her feet didn't follow what she wanted, instead they carried her closer to the room.

"Can't you see?" Lee's voice was shrill with emotion, "Tetch is planing ideas in your head! Don't you remember? He's done this before."

"No!" Jim yelled back, "This isn't like that!"

"What is more likely?" Lee argued, "That Tetch is messing with your head or that Mario has Alice's virus?"

"He's infected!" Jim's voice raised.  
As if the louder he yelled the more of what he was saying might sink in.

"Damn you!" Lee's voice cracked with emotion, "I moved on. After everything you've done… I had to go through the worst time of my life alone and it was Mario who helped me heal from that. And now you… you show up with these accusations on my wedding day! When I finally have something good in my life. Why?"

Bird stepped into the room after eavesdropping from the hallway.

"Come on." Bird calmly said, extending her hand to Lee, "You have a wedding to get to."  
Who'd tried to make several exits from the room but kept getting pulled back in by Jim.

Bird didn't look at Jim, she couldn't. If she looked at him she feared she wouldn't be able to breathe again.  
So she kept her eyes on Lee, her hand still extended like a life raft in frigid water for her soon to be sister-in-law to take.

And she did.  
Lee tightly gripped her hand and let Bird pull her from the room. Holding onto her like she was only the thing keeping her standing -she might have been.

Jim tried to go after then, but Bird hadn't been the only one out in the hallway. Carmine Falcone had been there too, and he intervened.

Placing himself as a barrier between the hallway Bird and Lee had made their escape down and where Jim was trying to get to them.

"Detective Gordon." Carmine's greeting was dry.  
Nodding to two of the guards near him, he continued, "Show him out."

Jim's mouth hung open, watching both Lee and Bird walk away, he finally understood what Mario's plan had been all along.

It hadn't made sense to him why Mario had-had Zsasz only hold him until right before the wedding.  
Why he'd even put Jim on his trail to begin with.

All to make him look like a crazed jealous ex.  
Not only to erase any care that Lee still felt for him -but also to drive a wedge between him and Bird.

 **•••**

Standing barefoot in her kitchen, Bird pulled the pins out of her hair that was holding together the elegant updo and dropped one by one with a small pink onto the counter.

Each one landing next to the open bottle of wine and the stem glass she'd been drinking from.

With her hair finally loose, she massaged her scalp and shook the rest of her hair free.

Even though she'd been home for several minutes she was still in the dress she'd wore to the wedding reception.

The party had barely been mid-swing when she'd noticed Lee and Mario ducked out.

Not that she blamed them.  
Detective Alvarez was there, officially keeping an eye on the party from GCPD -unofficially, she knew Jim had sent him there.

Nothing kills the buzz like a police state at a celebration.

She'd left shortly after the newlyweds, drove herself home and took a long way through the city to the get there.

Trying to clear her mind some; it didn't help.

Taking another drink of the burgundy, her attention was drawn to her clutch bag from the party laying on the counter. It was buzzing from her phone vibrating inside.

She stared at the small bag. Laser focus until it stopped.

Just as she'd started to take another drink the phone rang again.

Setting her glass down, she reached forward and unsnapped the clasp on the bag.

Who could it be, she wondered.

At this point the possibilities were truly endless.

Bruce could be calling to apologize again. Oswald could be calling to vent more about how terribly wrong his declaration of love went with Nygma.

Most likely of all, she guessed it was probably Jim, who'd surely still be touting the new company line that Mario was infected with the virus.

She wondered if he'd come home that night -and if she'd even be there when he did.

Pulling her phone out she saw it was Bullock calling.  
She nearly ignored the call, but on second thought she answered it.

"Bullock…" She drew his name out in a greeting that showed how his call was an unpleasant surprise.

"I know Lee and Mario skipped out of the party early." Bullock started, "Where were they going?"

She could hear the buzzing of voices in the background.

"Why would I tell you?" She shot back, "Because Jim wants to know?"

"He's infected, Bird." Bullock sighed, his breath hitting the small microphone and hurting her ear, "It's true. We got the proof."

"But Lucius gave him test-"

"Lucius is the one who found the proof!" Bullock argued, "Ch-chloro…"  
His voice trailed off, not having a damn clue how to pronounce the medication Mario had used to alter his test results.

Despite the fact that she was gripping the phone to her face, pressed tightly against her ear -Bullock's voice started to sound further and further away.

"Look, the point is it's true. He's infected." Bullock gave up.

"Where's…" She cleared her throat, trying to stay in the present. Process information as it was being given to her, "Where's Jim."

"Took off to see Falcone." Bullock answered, "Look, we all want to bring Mario in without incident before he harms Lee. I know that you know where they are."

"The cabin." Bird recalled.

"What cabin?" He questioned, "I need more detail than that!"

"It's a cabin Falcone owns. A woodsy retreat." Bird stammered, managing ton get the address out before she traded the phone in her hand for the car keys and raced for the door.

The drive to the off road cabin was a blur.  
Her body had ran on autopilot to get her there while her mind was overtaken.

She felt guilty for not believing Jim.  
Stupid for letting Mario get in her head and convince her that Jim was still in love with Lee.

Under all of that, a sick part of her was relieved it was true.  
That Jim was only concerned about Lee's safety and he'd meant it when he swore he loved her and not Lee.

But above it all was a weighted feeling of dread.  
Despite the beautiful scenery she felt like she was driving straight into a storm.

Presented with proof that his son was infected, she knew Falcone would also disclose Mario's location.  
And with her confession of the same, GCPD would already be en-route to the cabin.

With the gas pedal pushed to the floor, she'd sped there as fast as possible to try and beat everyone there.

If she could get there first, maybe she could talk to him. Get him to come in, to agree to a temporary hold until a cure was found. The last she'd heard from Lee, the lab was working on that and hoped to have it fully developed within the next few months.

But as she pulled into the drive she saw Jim's car was already there, the driver's side door left standing open.

Her stomach lurched.  
The entire time she'd been thinking about keeping Mario safe, even hoping to get there before he had a chance to hurt Lee - it hadn't crossed her mind about Jim's life being in danger.

She hadn't expected him to beat her there.

Getting out of her car, she darted up to the front door.

"Mario?" She yelled as the screen door shut behind her. The sounds of crickets chirping was loud through the screen. In the otherwise silence it was almost deafening, "Lee?" She called out.

The dizzy rush she'd been in had slowed as she moved through the house.  
No sign of struggle. No blood. Nothing seemed to be amiss.

But she couldn't breathe a sigh of relief.  
With each step she started to fear what she'd find at the next turn.

A horror movie in slow motion.

Until she saw someone.  
It was Lee, just in view from the open sliding door.

She was fine, standing next to table with bottle of champagne on ice.

When Bird started for her she saw Lee wasn't alone. Mario was there with her.  
Creeping up behind her with a large knife drawn into the air.

"Mario!" Bird screamed, breaking into a run in their direction.

Lee started to look inside the house but then something else drew her attention when she heard her own name being yelled.

"Jim-" She started to question as he came up the side stairs to the porch.

There were two flashes of light, The heat of bullets zipping past her. The way the gunshots shattered the silence.  
The absolute shock of what was happening paralyzed her.

Bird made it to the door just in time to see Mario's body drop to the sanded deck.  
His white shirt turning crimson with blood from the gunshot wounds.

She staggered towards where he was laying, his glassy eyes met hers -he was there for a fleeting second and then he was gone.

Lee's hands went to her face that had been spattered with blood. The sickening warmth against her cheek.

Her head caught up with what had happened quicker than her feet and she nearly tripped over herself trying to turn around and see what had happened.

The hands of the clock had slowed. Time was moving in slow motion; nearly standing still.

Bird's eyes pulled away from her older brother's dead body just in time to witness Lee's reaction to her husband being killed on their wedding night.

Her legs swayed, her hands clutching onto own scalp like she was trying to hold her mind together.

The mournful scream that sounded louder than the gunshots had.

 **•••**

Bird stared down to the screen on her phone as it grew dim before fading to black.  
It was a rare thing for her shut her phone completely off, but times like this called for it.

Times when she didn't want to be found or be reachable to anyone.

It was mere moments after Jim had shot and killed Mario at the cabin that GCPD was on the scene and Bird had used the chaos to slip away unnoticed.

"Thanks." She said with a grateful tone as she took the crystal glass offered to her with something much stronger than the wine she'd been drinking earlier that evening.

"I've had the absolute worst day." She dryly laughed against the rim of the glass before throwing it back. Letting the alcohol burn her tongue. The heat filled her belly. "Everything that could have gone wrong did and now Mario…" She shook her head.

"These next few days… maybe the next week or two is going to be really hard." She sat the glass down on the coffee table in front of her, "It's not only that Jim's going to try and find me when I cannot see him right now. It's going to be the press. The reporters. Even Bruce, who'll want to make nice now that this happened."

Waving a hand through the air, Bird explained, "We're fighting over something right now."

She scratched at the side of her neck. Ran her fingers through her hair.  
Like she didn't know what to do with her limbs anymore and was struggling to find a use for them.

"I know I have no right to show up like this." Her head dropped forward, eyes going to her travel bag of belongings. What she called her go-bag that she always kept on hand, "But I can't go to Wayne Manor. Oswald is too focused on his own heartache. As it turns out I don't have many friends."

With a dry chuckle she ran her fingers through her hair again, scratching at her scalp and messily pulling most of her hair over to one side.

"I thought about a hotel." She continued to fill the silence with rambling, "Fleeing the city even. But Mario's funeral will be coming up soon and… the truth is, that I… I don't trust myself to be alone right now."

"This is the one place where no one will think to look for me." Bird pulled in a deep breath; looked across the coffee table and asked, "Can I stay here for now?"

Harvey swallowed hard. His chest felt tight. Lack of air; lack of oxygen.

Bird was a bad idea.  
She always had been and yet here he was, still getting tangled up in his ex-fiance's mess.

"Of course." The agreement was forced out with what little air he had left.

Years later and he apparently still couldn't say no to her.

"I…" He cleared his throat. He wanted to tell her this wasn't smart. That nothing good ever seemed to come out of them spending time together, but instead apologized, "I still never got around to getting beds for the spare bedrooms-"

"I'll sleep here." Bird relaxed back into plush cushion, "I've slept worst places. Plus, I picked this couch out."

Harvey's eyes darted back to Bird's face.  
She hadn't been in the house for a full ten minutes yet and she was already reminding him that the space used to belong to her just as much as him.

"Yeah…" He managed to say.  
This was definitely a bad idea.

 **•••**

* * *

 **A/N - Thank you to: AGBreads, Shadow knight1121, Adela, TheWriter8789, SmellYourScentForMiles, Raging Raven and to the Guests who've reviewed since my last update.  
**

 ** **I really hope you all liked the chapter. I'm sorry for the lack of updates lately, life has been nothing short of hectic and it's been super difficult to try and find the time to write -let alone edit and update.  
****

 **That being said, I want you all to know that as long as I know there is still interest in the story, I'll do my best to keep writing and posting.**

 **I'd also really love to hear what you guys thought of the chapter or even just to know you're still reading, Lol.  
So please don't forget to take the time and leave a review. ^_^**


	20. Not Even a Little Bit, Not Even at All

**XX - Not Even a Little Bit. Not Even at All.**

" _A cut. That's what I felt. Words can cut, slice, like a razor." - Megan Miranda, Fracture_

* * *

 **•••**

Harvey let out a small sigh when he entered the living room to see Bird wasn't on the couch.

Her bag was still on the floor next to it and the blanket and pillow he'd loaned to her was pushed to one end; the exact spot he'd left them the night before.

The scent of coffee tickled his nose long before he'd walked into the kitchen.

"Did you sleep?" Harvey questioned as he walked into the room with Bird.

Drying her hands off on a towel, Bird ignored the question and said, "You're running late. I made your breakfast and coffee to go."

"My… my what?"  
His brain was having trouble keeping up.

In truth he'd barely slept the night before.  
He'd been both worried about Bird and nervous about her being in his house. Which had left him tossing and turning, wondering if she was behind every noise he'd heard in the house.

When they lived together, despite knowing how uncomfortable the company she kept made him -she'd still have people over.  
Invite criminals right into his house.

And even though she'd shut her phone off before he'd went to bed and insisted she was there to hide out from everyone, he wondered how true that was.

"Here-" Bird's voice interrupted his thoughts.

Next thing he knew, Bird had pushed a travel coffee mug into his hand and was offering up a bagel breakfast sandwich filled with bacon, egg and cheese.

"Uh…" He stammered.

Back when they were dating and would spend the night at each others apartments, hell, even when they lived together he couldn't remember a time she'd actually fixed anything for breakfast.

She'd sometimes have his coffee ready for him, sure.  
But if she did anything for breakfast she'd dart out for bagels or muffins from a nearby bakery.

His wide eyes went from the freshly washed pans and utensils in the dying rack, back to where she stood in front of him.

"Did you sleep?" He repeated his earlier questioned, "At all?"

"I tried."

Lie.  
It was a lie and they both knew it.

"Starling." Harvey exhaled her name and tried to pick his next words carefully to deal as less a blow as possible, "You know how… bad it is for you to not sleep."

A kind way of pointing out how quickly her mental state could deteriorate with lack of sleep.  
Especially when it was something she was depriving herself of; like a punishment.

She'd sat in front of him barely ten hours before and told him how Jim had killed her half-brother.  
Her voice and choice of words was very matter-of-fact.

One might even say emotionless.

"I'll sleep while you're at work." She dismissed his concern.

"You don't have to do any of this." He pointed out raising his hands up in the air with the coffee in one and the sandwich in the other, "You don't owe me anything-"

"Might as well make myself useful." She interrupted and then nodded towards the clock on the wall. The clock she'd purchased from a local artist who re-purposed various items when they were getting the house ready to move into, "You're going to be late."

Without another word or glance at him, she walked over to the cabinet towards the left of the sink and started to get the bag of coffee grounds out to start up another pot of coffee.  
Clearly she wasn't planning on sleeping.

"Okay… no." Harvey breathed, setting the food and drink in his hands down on the island and walking over to her where he plucked the bag of coffee right from her hands, "This isn't going to help you sleep."

She didn't respond to him. Stared straight ahead out of the window above the sink.

The stillness in the room was unsettling.

He felt like he'd lit a firework and the wick had burnt right up but the explosion didn't happen.  
Like if he took one step closer it would blow and he'd lost a limb.

"Starling."  
He repeated her name.

"You're right." She turned her head and gave him a smile but the expression didn't come close to reaching her eyes.

His brows raised.  
A chill crept down his spine.

Something was wrong.  
It wasn't right.

 _She_ wasn't right.

It hadn't been a full twenty four hours since she'd watched Jim kill her half-brother, witnessed the last traces of life leave his eyes.  
How could she be fine after that?

It wasn't that Harvey wanted her to burst into tears, but he'd rather have witnessed that then see her start to revert to the emotionless shell of a person he'd spent so long trying to crack the surface of when they were dating.

Clearing his throat, he returned the coffee to the cabinet and offered, "I can take the day off."  
Looking around he tried to think of something that would interest her, "We could… I don't know, get out of the city?"

Bird blinked.

"Catch a movie?" He continued, "That theater you love that's an hour away, they have mid-day matinees-"

"No." Bird shook her head, "Right now no one knows where I am. If you start dodging work or acting suspicious than that might change and I can't risk that. You have to go to work and act like everything is normal."

"And leave you here… by yourself?"

"I'm fine."

Anger bubbled at the back of his throat.  
The one thing that always got under his skin was her lies.

Harvey swallowed the feeling back down or at least he thought he had until Bird went to walk past him and next thing he knew his hand was around her arm.

"I'm not leaving you here." His words came out rougher than he'd meant; then again so did his hold on her.

Her eyes went down to where he had a painfully tight grip on her upper arm and then up to his face.  
When their eyes locked, he came back to his senses, quickly let go of her and bit back an apology.

"I mean I don't want to leave you here alone." He reached up and loosened the tie around his neck, "You're worrying me."

The longer they'd spend apart, the more he'd realized it was for the best.  
He couldn't control himself.

The person he turned into around her was someone he hated; but no matter how hard he fought against it the anger just blinded him.

Now he felt like he needed to get out of there just as badly as she wanted him gone.

A part of him still cared for her and always would.  
It hurt to see her hurting. To witness her doing herself more harm than good.

"I'm not yours to worry about." Bird finally spoke.

"I'm going to go." Harvey sighed, deflated and guilty, "But I'll keep my cell on. Call me if you need to."

Bird nodded, her eyes meeting his for a fleeting second before she looked back down to the floor with her arms crossed over her chest. Waiting for him to go.

 **•••**

It was late afternoon that Bird made it back from her quick outing to a newspaper stand.

She'd tucked her hair up into a hat, wore sunglasses in to disguise her appearance. Something she'd almost talked herself out of before leaving the house.

But when she reached the stand, she was thankful she'd let her paranoia steer the decision.

Most of the big name papers focused their story on Mario's death, the contributions he'd made while alive and only made small mention of his familial ties to Bird and Falcone.  
His being infected with the Tetch Virus had already been leaked.

She'd frowned at the least reputable publications, some even had her picture on the cover. Conspiracy theories galore and wild accusations.  
Anything to sell a paper and make a buck.

She bought everything that mentioned the names Falcone, Calvi or Wayne.  
Paid in cash, refused to make small talk with the shop owner and then got back to Harvey's house as soon as she could.

By the time Harvey made it home from work, Bird had half of the couch and the entire coffee table covered with articles.

Juggling the bag of food and drink carrier in one arm, he shut and locked the front door behind him.

"Did you sleep at all?" He asked.

"Some." She answered, folding the paper she'd been reading up and tossing it onto the table in front of her.

Harvey couldn't tell if she was lying or telling the truth, but he decided to not push her, she seemed a bit more stable than when he'd left.

With a small nod, he carried the food into the kitchen and she scrambled to her feet to follow him.

"I, um…" Bird cleared her throat, "I saw on the mid-day news report that I.A. would likely be finishing up the investigation into Jim… uh, Mario's death…"

Her voice trailed off.  
Harvey was facing away from her, but she'd saw his posture stiffen. Shoulders tense.

Being unable to see his face, Bird couldn't tell exactly what emotion she'd just brought out in him.  
But it was clear from his body language she'd said or done the wrong thing.

An all too well-known feeling left over from when they were together.

"Starling…" He let out a sigh.  
When he turned to face her, she saw he appeared to be cringing and not angry.

With another exhale, he sat the food and drinks down on the kitchen island and stated, "If you want to ask me about Jim. Then ask."

"Not too weird?"  
Her nose wrinkled as she waited on a response.

"Ha!" Harvey shook his head, "I don't think we could make this any more awkward if we tried too."

She smiled.

It wasn't much but it was a start.  
He smiled back, feeling a bit lighter than moments before.

Harvey had meant what he'd said when he told her he'd been worried about her.

Since she'd showed up at his door she was a nervous wreck. Going between bouts of seeming to be in so much pain she couldn't breath and then just as quickly into a state of numbness.

Empty but threatening to tear at the seams.

Of course that didn't make it an easier to say what he needed to say next.  
He didn't know how she'd take the news or what she was hoping the outcome of the investigation was.

"Did they clear him?"  
Bird finally brought herself to ask.

"It was one of the quickest open/shut cases I've seen." Harvey nodded, "Jim was cleared of any wrongdoing."

"It was a legit kill?" Bird's voice was quiet.  
She'd heard Jim use that term before.

"It was." Harvey answered.

He watched her as she stood in place, her eyes seeming to lose focus again.  
Like she were being pulled from the room despite still standing right there.

"Is that you wanted?" Harvey questioned.  
Hoping to bring her back. Keep her engaged and alert.

"I don't know…." She ran her hands over her head, resting on the back of her neck and seeming shrink into herself, "It was a legit kill."

She repeated the term out loud again as if that would cause it to make more sense.

"Legally, sure." He agreed, "But you're allowed to feel however you feel about it."

"I know I'm allowed to feel, Harvey." Her tone dried, "That's the problem though. I don't know what to even to start to feel."

"Well…" He drew the word out. Opened up the bag of food and said, "Start with hungry -and we'll go from there."

He glanced at her from under his brows with a smile.

Even though she'd cooked him breakfast before he left for work, she'd only had coffee since the night before.

As in on cue, her stomach growled as the blend of spices reached her nose.

"You remembered." Another smile graced her face.

"The spicy chicken you forced me to eat three times a week?" He laughed and held out of the foil wrapped sandwich for her to take.

Gratefully, she took the food from him and sat down.

She knew for a fact the restaurant he'd picked this up from was out of the way for his drive home.  
That he'd made a special trip to one of her favorite places.

It was a small gesture, but made her feel volumes better.

She'd gotten about a third of her food down when the small talk between them drew out into a silence.  
A silence she felt the need to fill with noise and answers to silence the nagging thoughts of Jim in her head.

"Did you see him?"  
Bird asked, her lips brushing against the side of her glass of lemonade.

Out of the corner of her eye Bird saw Harvey lay his own sandwich down on it's open wrapper - more like throw it down.

 _You just don't know what to stop, do you?_

Bird turned to face him, blinking rapidly as his the ghost of his voice echoed in her head from their time together.  
He hadn't said it this time -at least not out loud, but she'd heard it more than several times during their relationship.

A jolt of pain shot through her. A nearly healed scar being forced open again.

And just like that she knew what was coming, that he'd say something to make her feel like she'd ruined everything all over again.

"Yeah." Harvey didn't look at her when he spoke, "I saw Jim today. Only in passing… but yeah."

Bird's eyes widened.

His voice was steady, tone even.  
No traces of the anger she'd thought for sure to have lured out of him.

A tinge of warmth; a light in the dark.  
She remembered this side of him well too.

The side that was patient and kind. Polar opposite of the times he'd put his hands on her.

Harvey turned his head, looked at her and gave a small nod.  
Gesturing for her to ask what she needed to ask.

No anger. No jealousy. No judgement.

It was a feeling she wanted to wrap herself up in.

"How did he seem?" Bird asked.

"Not good." Harvey admitted to her.  
Stopping just shy of admitting he'd easily recognized it because he, himself, was still trying to cope with the ways he'd hurt her.

"I just keep thinking…" Bird's voice was barely over a whisper. Her breathing shallow, "He tried so hard to warn me. To get me to listen to him and believe him about Mario -but I was too hurt to hear him."

"And that maybe if I'd heard what he tried to tell me then Mario would still be alive." She continued.  
There was an enormous guilt pressing in on her.

Not just a feeling, more like a separate entity that was sitting there with her. Growing larger and taking up more room by the second.  
Eventually it would swallow her up. Eat her whole.

"None of this is your fault." Harvey tried to assure her, but it was falling on deaf ears.

"It was a legit kill." Bird repeated the words over again like a mantra, "Jim did what he had to do."

Her voice wavered, "What kind of person would I be to hate him for that?"

Before Harvey could say anything, Bird countered her own argument, "He killed my brother… what kind of person would I be if I don't hate him?"

Harvey watched her.  
She didn't cry. Didn't look up.

He didn't have the answers to the questions she was asking.

So he reached over and took her hand, folding it in his grip and giving a small squeeze so at least she'd know someone was there was with her.

Bird's eyes traveled over to where their hands were joined.

It was a gentle, loving gesture.  
And if there hadn't been an incident where he'd tried to crush that very hand in his grip once before it might have soothed her instead of stinging from frostbite.

" _I was in a bad relationship with someone… before Jim."_  
 _"You're saying that things got physical?"_

A former conversation she'd had with Mario played in her head and she knew she should pull away from Harvey, but she didn't.

 **••• A Few Days Later •••**

"Oswald?" Bird's voice expelled her best friend's name like it had been forced out of her.

Her eyes were wide and she leaned to the side to glance around him.

"I'm alone." He held up his hands.  
A sign of surrender.

He'd started to ask her how she was doing, but before he got the first word out she'd grabbed his arm and pulled him inside the house. Nearly slamming the door behind him.

Oswald stared at her.  
She looked frazzled, if he was putting it kindly.

"How did you know I was here?" She demanded to know.

His eyes cut down to the floor and then locked back on hers.

"You're my best friend, Bird." A smirk pulled at a single corner of his mouth, "I know you better than you know yourself."

"No. No." She scratched at the side of her head, in her tangled mess of hair, "I specifically came here because it's the last place anyone would look. Including you."

Adjusting his stance, Oswald glanced around the living room.

The house, from what he could see of it at least was in pristine condition.  
Very clean. Everything seemed to have a place.

Except for Bird.

"Where else would you be?" Oswald's head cocked to the side, "You went to the one place that would hurt Jim Gordon."

"No-" She started to protest.

Defend her reasoning until the end.  
She was there for a few reasons. Most importantly it was the perfect hiding spot and no one would find her there.

She still trusted Harvey -to a degree at least, which was more than she could say for most.

It was a logical move.  
No emotion involved.  
And it certainly didn't have anything to do with Jim.

Oswald cut her off, "I'm sorry for you loss, Bird."

She blinked. Her stomach lurched.

She despised those words.  
The phrase in its entirety and the usual lack of emotion behind it.

"I'm so sick of hearing people say that." She closed her eyes, "I didn't…." She stammered, "I didn't lose anything. My brother is dead. I didn't lose him. He was taken from me."

After her parents were killed the supposed to be comforting condolences seemed to have the opposite effect.  
It was one apology after another, filtered in with people she didn't know telling her to stay strong. That they were in a better place. That she'd see them again some day.

She could still remember the look on of her father's old business partner's face. A slightly over middle aged man who she hadn't seen in close to thirteen years found her shortly after her parent's funeral and told her how she shouldn't be sad for what she'd lost but try to remain thankful for the time she got with them.

As if that would bring her any comfort on the day the two people who'd raised her were laid to rest beneath the earth.

But the cherry on top had been when he assured her they were in a much better place and she'd be reunited with them one day.

That was when the polite smile she'd plastered on had turned to stone.  
She'd pulled her dark sunglasses off, showing her red and blood shot eyes -caused by far more than lack of sleep and said in a deadpan voice, "If there is something else after this life… I promise you I'm not going to end up in the same place as them."

"Bird?" Oswald took a step closer, his friend's eyes seemed to have glazed over, "How are you holding up?"

What a ridiculous question it was and they both knew it.

"I don't know how I'm supposed to feel." She crossed her arms over her chest, shifted her legs and then let her arms drop awkwardly to her sides.

Her mind felt fractured.  
Able to see what happened from a logical standpoint and then being eaten alive with the pain and guilt.

Oswald frowned.  
The last conversation he'd had with Bird hadn't ended well.

He'd been so caught up in his own heartache from his confession of love to Edward Nygma not panning out how he'd hoped.

She'd tried to tell him about a fight she'd had with Jim, but he'd been too preoccupied with his own life to hear her at all.

In truth, he'd continued rambling into the phone for close to five minutes before he'd realized she'd long since hung up on him.

He felt bad about that now.  
Wanted to apologize but it seemed such a small event now after she'd lost her brother and he chose not to bring it up.

"Thank you for coming to check on me." Her tone was hollow, "But you should go. This isn't my house and I specifically promised Harvey I wouldn't bring anyone here."

Oswald bit down on the side of his tongue.  
He'd only been to this house once before and only saw it from the outside.

The night he'd killed Fish and Bird had been injured in the fight that broke out with Maroni's gang.  
He'd limped up the sidewalk in the middle of the night to check on her only to be very coldly and rudely turned away by one very pissed off Harvey Dent.

Just from what he saw, he knew Bird's relationship with the attorney had been full of pretending.  
That in the beginning of their relationship at least, before he'd learned who she really was, that she could be someone else.

He knew it wouldn't last between them and now just as clearly he could see what she was trying to do; to hide out there. Forget about everything and everyone outside of those doors. Keep pretending.

"Bird." Oswald reached out, his hand landing on her arm just above her wrist, "I say this as your truest and oldest friend…"

Her neck craned to the side. She had a feeling she wasn't going to like what followed.

"You can't hide inside this house forever." His thumb rubbed over the bump of her wrist bone, "Trust me. I know."

His own mind flashed back to the trauma of losing his father, Elijah.  
The rage he'd felt at learning Grace and her children had been behind it and the fitting punishment he'd literally dished out to his step-mother before killing her.

The weeks following that night where he stayed completely isolated in his late father's mansion.  
The times he, himself, felt like he didn't know how to go on from there. And in some ways he didn't.

Staying cooped up there had let him detach from the outside world and everyone in it.  
Even if it were only inside his head -it allowed him to exist in a different reality.

"I'm not hiding." Bird tried to defend, her arms crossed over her chest again, "I just needed someplace to stay for a few days. To get my head together is all."

"You're not hiding?" Oswald could have laughed if she didn't look so broken, "My showing up here sent you into a panic."

"I'm not ready to see Jim." She swallowed hard, "He's probably looking for me-"

"Oh-" A chuckle escaped, "He most certainly is."

Bird stepped forward, this time it was her reaching out for him. Her fingers grasping onto the sleeve of his overcoat, "You -you saw him?"  
The jitters had returned. She was stammering.

"He came to see me." Oswald explained, "He thought you might be staying with me or at the very least that I'd spoken to you."

The last time she and Jim had a bad disagreement she packed and left. Hid out with her best friend for a while until she felt ready to face him again.

"What did you say?" She pried.

"That I hadn't spoke to you since the day he gunned down your half-brother." Oswald nearly looked amused as he thought back to his conversation with the detective.

Jim trying to justify what he'd done. Repeatedly saying he just needed to explain what happened to Bird.  
As if she didn't know and as if it would make any sort of difference.

"I may have also suggested that you more than likely left Gotham." He continued, "And that if you wanted to see him -you'd seek him out."

The response brought a small smile to her face.  
Oswald might have known where she'd been but his response surely had Jim checking into other leads.

"Thank you-" Bird started to say. Grateful he'd had her back.

But Oswald was already onto how the conversation ended, "He asked me to tell you when I next spoke with you…"

He hesitated.

"To tell me what?" Bird questioned.  
Her expression twisted.

She braced herself. Not knowing what he might say next.

"That he wants you to come home." Oswald's voice quieted.

He stared at her. Waited for her next move. Unsure of what she'd say or do.

"I miss my apartment." Bird laughed, catching him off guard, "My first apartment. It was all mine."

She rubbed her face. The sounds of her laughter distorted and muffled; he wasn't sure if she'd started crying or was still laughing.

"I can't seem to find a home now."  
She raised her head and looked at him. Her mouth still curved up into a jagged smile,  
It had been all laughter and no tears.

But the hopeless kind of laugh that erupts when there's nothing else to say or do.  
He'd been there plenty of times himself but it always pained him to see like that.

"You didn't get to see this place at the beginning!" Bird loudly said, holding her arms out to the side and spinning in a circle, "So much time and money went into making this brownstone livable. It took a while to even find contractors who thought it was worth putting the work in to save this building and not tear it down to re-build from the ground up.

Oswald looked around them again.  
It was hard to imagine the place being in such decrepit conditions with how modern it looked now.

But that was Bird, seeing potential in things that few others did.  
Oswald smiled. His Bird.  
After all, she'd been the only person to see potential in him years ago as well.

"This was supposed to be my home… but I made the mistake of sharing it with someone else." Bird shook her head, "By the time Harvey and I broke up, I just let him keep the place. I didn't want it."

He nodded.  
Understandable enough.

"Wait." Oswald interrupted her, "You got your new townhouse before you and Jim-"  
His face twisted.

"Doesn't matter." Bird's hair fell into her face as she shook her head, "I built a home with him there. It's not mine. It's ours. Even if he left and I went back there… I'd just feel him everywhere."

Her head lowered, "He'd still be haunting me."

"You're more than welcome to come stay with me-"  
Oswald started to offer, but Bird stopped with him a hand in the air.

"I think the best place for me to be is here."  
She declined.

"I disagree." Oswald spoke openly.

With a stubborn shrug, Bird told Oswald he should leave.  
The day before Harvey had surprised her on his lunch hour and if he were to come home and find Oswald there he'd probably kick her out.

She walked with him towards the door and felt the need to set something in stone that she'd said earlier.

"I'm not back with Harvey. It's not like that." She defended, "My being here has nothing to do with Jim. I'm not here to hurt him. I'm just… here."

"Oh, Bird…" Oswald let out a heavy sigh, "The lies we tell ourselves." He shook his head.  
She was as transparent as a spotless window to him.

"You're wrong."  
There was a jolt of anger in Bird's voice

"You came to the one place that would hurt Jim Gordon." He repeated his earlier sentiment.

"You're wrong." She repeated, "Not that it's any of your business, but I haven't done anything to hurt Jim. I stay on the couch and Harvey sleeps upstairs."

"And why would I do that to myself anyways when I know how it would end?" Bird added, "I already got my heart broken here once. It wouldn't make any sense for me to put myself through all of this again."

"Matters of the heart rarely do." Oswald stated, "Jim hurt you. And Bird, we both know you would hurt yourself to get back at him."

She wanted to scream out that he was wrong.  
A child-like fit threatened to burst at the seams.

Perhaps it was because her father used to say something similar to her about her self-destructive ways. That she'd be the kind to cut off her own nose just to spite her face.

He could see the stubborn ire written all over her face and posture.  
A cue to leave before he made her mad enough that she took off and left even him not knowing where she went.

Oswald reached for the door, his hand landing on the cold metal handle.  
Hesitation in his movements before he looked over his shoulder and carefully pointed out, "You can't hide here forever Bird-"

"You already told me that." She rolled her eyes.

"Yes, but what I mean is you'll have to make a decision sooner rather than later. Jim killed a Don's son. You know how this works. There will be retribution."

"I know." Her tone hollowed again, "But Falcone won't do anything until after the funeral. He won't make a move until Mario is laid to rest."

Turning back to look at her, Oswald pointed out, "The funeral is two days away."

 **••• That Night •••**

Harvey sat the bowl of popcorn down on the coffee table, swooped up the remote and stopped the movie they'd been watching.

More so, that he'd been watching while Bird stared off into space.

It had been a very slow process and she'd still been in a bad place, but she'd also seemed to be doing a bit better each day.

But today when he'd gotten home from work the air in the house felt thick.  
A layer of melancholy painted on every surface.

"What happened today?" He asked.

"I spoke with Oswald." Bird admitted, "He came by to check on me."

The admission cause his hand to tighten on the remote. The plastic housing creaking in his grip.

"You promised me that you wouldn't bring anyone I don't approve of here." He reminded her.

"Yes, well, I've never been very good at abiding by the rules." She let out a sigh.

He turned some on the couch to get a better look at her.  
She didn't have to tell him that. A part of him wasn't too sure why she did.

It felt like she was trying to make him mad.

She always seemed to be pushing him.  
Something he couldn't understand considering how out of control things had gotten in the past. Despite his best efforts to control his rage.

He hated himself every single time he'd lost control with her. Every incident he'd hurt her was still seared in his mind. Physically burning like a hot iron in his head.

Closing his eyes he pulled in a deep breath trying to find a center.

When he opened his eyes again, his eyes sought out her arm, the spot he'd grabbed onto her a few days prior.  
Sure enough there was some discoloration on her skin.

Pain jolted him.  
Like a crack of lightning.

Having her around wasn't good for him.  
Not only due to the fact she seemed to stoke the rage that usually lied dormant in him more than any other person he'd ever met.

But she forced him to face the worse parts of himself.  
The parts that were capable of hurting something he loved with his bare hands.

When his eyes traveled up to her face, he jumped slightly at realizing she'd been staring at him.

Bird glanced down to the bruise and didn't appear to have a reaction to it herself.

She could cover it, she considered, or at the very least drape a blanket around herself for now.  
Clearly it was bothering Harvey. He looked to be in more pain than the injury had inflicted on her.

Then again, he was the one who put the mark there -so why should she have to cover it for his sake?

Seconds of silence passed, but it felt like several minutes to them both.

"Oh my god." She near silently breathed.  
So quiet he didn't hear her.

It wasn't an easy truth to admit to herself, but Oswald was right.  
She wasn't above putting herself through pain if put someone else through worse.

Bird knew exactly how much Harvey hated himself for the times he'd hurt her.  
Even though it nearly always resulted in a mark on her flesh, it cut Harvey twice as bad.

And even though nothing excused the times he'd come to blows with her, there was still something to be said for the fact that she'd chosen to stay.

She remembered the first time their arguments had turned physical. When he'd stuck her across the face in the street outside of the Fish's former club.

The avoidance that followed. His vow to stay away from from her.  
His worst fears coming to life.  
That he'd grown up into an abusive man, just like the father he'd ran away from.

The night she'd showed up at his apartment.  
The conversation they'd had of how he honestly didn't think he was capable of hurting her and how he'd never forgive himself for doing so.

How Harvey had completely shut down. Missed work for an entire week and let the regret swallow him up. Punishing himself.

She knew he still wouldn't forgive himself for that first time or the times that came after.

His raw admission of how hitting her wasn't a conscious decision and therefore he couldn't promise it would never happen again.

How she'd sworn she loved him anyways. It was the truth, but she also knew telling him that would hurt him all over again.

She recalled what he'd told her, nearly word-for-word.  
 _"I love you more than you know, more than I've loved anyone or anything before and yet I still managed to fly into a rage and hurt you. I don't even know what happened. One minute we were arguing and then I had a hold of you. You felt so small and breakable in my hands and… and it takes a different kind of animal to hurt something you love."_

That it does Harvey, she thought to herself, and she was just as sick as he was.  
Only Bird's method was more mental while his was physical.

"Starling?" Harvey leaned down some, trying to catch her line of sight but even waving a hand in front of her face wouldn't have registered. She was lost in memories.

Not of her time with Harvey with now, but her friendship with Barbara. Who at the time was fresh out of her breakup with Jim.  
They'd both been drunk and high, sitting on the floor of Bird's apartment sharing heartache over failed and troubled relationships.

Barbara had been the first person Bird had ever told about Harvey hitting here.  
She wasn't sure what sort of response she'd expected from the blonde, but she'd never forget Barbara's wild-eyed admission of how she would push Jim during their worst fights. Press every single button she could and at times wished he'd take a swing at her -out of passion.

How Barbara seemed almost bored and disappointed to say that despite her best efforts Jim had never gotten violent with her during their relationship.

"Harvey…" Bird breathed, grabbing the blanket beside her and wrapping it around herself.

Sometimes letting someone hurt you is really a way of hurting them.

She'd known that for as long as she could remember.  
But it didn't seem to come into perspective until just now.

All the signs she'd either missed or ignored in their relationship that they were treading a very thin line between love and hate. What feels good and what hurts.

What they'd had between them had burned so fast and hot that it blew up.  
That there was no way they could ever really be friends now; something she'd known but hadn't really admitted to herself until now.

"I shouldn't have come here." A sad smile was on her lips. Her eyes slightly glossed as she looked over at him again, "We've never been good for each other."

His eyes dropped back to the blanket now shielding the damage he'd done to her arm away from his sight.  
He remembered the first time he'd suggested they go out on a date. Long before he knew much about her.

How she'd stood in front of him and told him they were two very different people who wanted very different things -and how he had no idea how honest she was being with him in that moment,

"It's not like you didn't try to warn me." Harvey matched the somber smile with one of his own, "You told me before our first date that we were a recipe for heartache."

"Mario's funeral is in a couple of days." Bird changed the subject, "I need to stay here until then, but after that I'm gone, okay?"

He agreed.  
Wishing it could be otherwise that he could tell her she didn't have to -but they both knew the truth.

She needed to get away from him as badly as he needed her gone.  
It had only been a few days now that she'd been staying with him and they were already getting re-attached to one another.

A magnetic pull.  
Drawing them ever closer to a cliff.

"It, uh…" He cleared his throat. Reached a hand up and rubbed the back of his head with a lost laugh, "Why does it feel like we're breaking up all over again?"

"Because." Bird scooted over until she was right beside him. Tucked her legs up under her and held the blanket around her tighter with one hand and grabbed onto his hand with the other, "Healing can be painful too."

Even with all the time that had passed since they broken up there were still pieces of themselves that had been tangled up together.

Just a few days and they were starting to get twisted back up; the endless in a cycle of hurting each other.  
Now it felt the strings were coming undone.

Stitches holding them together being ripped out one-by-one.  
Sometimes freedom can hurt too.

The way their relationship had ended felt like a distant memory. Another lifetime ago between two people different than they were now.

She still had some of her belongings in the house and even though he'd boxed up most of it and stuck it into storage on the third floor of the house, he hadn't been in a hurry to get rid of it.

Perhaps in some ways they'd really refused to let go of each other. A chapter in a book where the ending hadn't been written in -until now.

Oswald was right, Bird finally accepted, even if she couldn't see it clearly at the beginning…  
Jim hurt her and she'd wanted to hurt him back.  
No matter the personal cost.

Spiteful and self-destructive, cutting off her own nose to spite her face -only she didn't want to be that person anymore.

She pulled in a deep breath and held onto it -then let it go.  
It was time to let a lot of things go.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Some of the burden lifted and where chaos had been buzzing the first bit of stillness started to take root.

She'd sleep that night, she was sure of it. Probably more restful sleep than she'd had in a while.

Then she'd spend the next day going through the house and rip out all traces of herself that she'd left behind.

Leaving no pieces of herself behind this time.

 **••• Days Later •••**

"Breathe in. Breathe out."  
Bird said out loud to herself as she sat in her parked car and gripped the steering wheel while trying to follow her own advice.

The back seat had some boxes and bags with her belongings that she'd removed from Harvey's house.

Most of what she'd left behind wasn't even important to her and she had no use for it.

She'd decided to donate what she could and trash most of the rest.

During the dinner they'd shared together the night before, Bird had let Harvey know she wouldn't be there when he got home from work today.  
That she was taking everything with her when she left for the funeral and didn't plan on coming back.

But now here she sat in the cemetery that seemed to be filling with more cars by the second and all she wanted to do was go back to Harvey's.  
To the last place she managed to feel some peace.

She wasn't naive enough to think that peace would last though.  
If she went back, he'd let her in and she knew it.

One argument would turn into another until he lost control and they cycle would never end.

The conversation they'd had had been cathartic for her -for them both.  
She'd faced down some hard truths about herself and made plans to change some things.

But that's the thing about plans -they rarely every pan out and before you know it you're running back to what's comfortable, even it's a bad fit.

Old habits die hard and she was trying desperately to hold onto the determination to be less self-destructive; but it was all she knew.

One step a time, she told herself.  
One breathe after another.

Step one: get through her half-brother's funeral.  
Step two: go see Jim  
Step three: talk with Falcone about what would happen next

She hadn't planned beyond that.  
Those three events would sure be traumatizing enough for one day.

She'd already attended the funeral service, though she'd stayed towards the back of the church out of sight.  
All the while thinking how very macabre it was that they decided to hold the services in the very same church Mario and Lee had been wed in less than a week ago.

Now they were all joining at the cemetery for the burial.  
The church had been packed but less than a fourth of the crowd there seemed to make to the cemetery. Which would make it nearly impossible to Bird to blend in with the crowd.

Looks like she might have to face Falcone before she saw Jim.

Reaching over to her purse in the passenger seat, she pulled out her compact mirror and studied her face once last time before putting on her dark shades and getting out.

"Lady Wayne."

The greeting was called to her back, just from a few steps behind.

"Where have you been hiding?" Bird asked Alfred. She'd made it a point to check her surroundings before exiting the car.

"I thought that was you I spotted at the church." Alfred ignored the question, "Ran out so fast I couldn't catch up."

"Then I guess it's age catching up with you?" She half-smiled.

"Ha. Very funny." Alfred answered with a chuckle.

A small since of relief stirred in him.  
Maybe she was doing better than he'd feared.

Looking around Bird asked, "No Bruce?"

"He wanted to come." Alfred stepped closer to her. Growing more aware of the eyes on them.

Since the night Mario had been killed, the papers had recent photo's of Carmine Falcone and Lee out and about -but no one had seen Bird.  
Now people were starting to catch on that she was making a reappearance.

"I encouraged him to stay home." Alfred offered up.

With the way the siblings had left things, he didn't know how Bird would feel about seeing Bruce on the day of saying goodbye to her half-brother.

"Thank you." Bird said as she looked around them.

"Look-" She sighed pulling her glasses off to get a better look at him. "I know I probably shouldn't have disappeared like I did but-"

Moving in closer, he put an hand on her shoulder and quietly dismissed the notion, "I imagine you've been out there doing what you need to, eh?"

Bird nodded.

"Detective Gordon came by the house the day after Mario's death." Alfred continued, "I know you were there, that you saw him die. Couple that with how close you'd been getting with him. I didn't expect to see you for a while."

Bird had always been the one to retreat into herself.  
He'd learned years ago the best you can do when she's been hurt is make yourself available when she's ready to come out if it.

"Did, uh…" She glanced down, opening and closing the arms of the sunglasses as she breathed out, "Did Jim tell you how hard he tried to warn me about Mario being infected with the virus? How I literally locked myself in a bathroom to try and shut him out? How I couldn't see what was right in front of me?"

"No." Alfred's heart sank, "He didn't mention that at all. He seems to be taking all of the blame himself."

There had been a glint of emotion in her eyes but it was fleeting. Gone faster than it showed.

She might have not missed a beat with their conversation, but now he knew his initial relief that she was okay had been premature.

He imagined that she had yet to come to terms with the gain and then the loss of a sibling.

"Come on, now." Alfred gave her a tight embrace of a hug before wrapping an arm around her and pointing out, "The service is starting."

 **•••**

"Jim." Bullock called out to him in a hushed yell,"What the hell are you doing here?"

Barely glancing back at him from where Jim was standing on a hill in the cemetery overlooking the burial taking place below.

He didn't have an answer.  
Deep down he knew he shouldn't be there.

Bullock followed Jim's line of sight to where Bird was standing next to Alfred at the side of plot of open earth.

He let out a sigh, slapped a hand on Jim's shoulder and pointed out, "If Falcone sees you… God only knows what he'll do."

"I had to do it, Harv." Jim defended, "Mario was infected. He was going to kill Lee. He was dangerous to anyone and everyone around him. It was a legit kill."  
As if saying it out loud again and again might dissolve some of the burden he'd been carrying.

"That's the law." Bullock argued, "But this, Jim. This is family. The man is burying his son today."

Knowing the real reason Jim had staked out the cemetery waiting to see if a certain someone else showed up, Bullock added, "Bird's burying a brother."

"I know."  
He swallowed, trying not to choke on his own words.

Bird was there, right there in front of him and all he wanted to do was go to her. Try and explain what happened. He'd searched everywhere he could think of to find her in the days following Mario's death.

But there wasn't a trace of her anywhere.

Not even a single credit card transaction.

The last location that her cellphone had pinged from was a tower near their townhouse. Leading Jim to believe she'd turned her phone off before she fled.

It hadn't occurred to him that in the layout of the city, the house she'd once shared with Harvey Dent wasn't very far away from them.

He'd started to believe maybe Oswald was right and Bird had left the city, though at the time of speaking with him, Jim felt more like he was trying to purposelessly throw him off her trail.  
But Oswald seemed genuine enough when he'd told him he hadn't spoken with Bird since the day of the wedding.

"She's right there." Jim's voice wavered. His breath turning to mist in the cold air as he continued to watch Bird from where he stood.

"Yeah, she is, buddy." Bullock slapped his shoulder again, ready to grab onto him if Jim tried to do something as stupid as make his way any closer to the funeral.

Bird hadn't left. She'd been either in Gotham or close-by the entire time.  
It hadn't been all that long ago that he and Bird had a discussion where he told her she couldn't just take off anymore and she'd agreed.

Though considering he'd fatally shot her brother, he didn't know if she was still honoring the agreement.

Jim tried to take a step, but Bullock stopped him, "You can't go down there."

"But-" Jim tried to argue.

"Jim." He sighed, "Think about this-"

"I just need…." Jim's voice trailed off.  
His mouth turned to cotton and he couldn't seem to form the words on his tongue.

"To what?" Bullock pushed trying to reason with him, "To explain what happened? She knows Mario was infected. Say you're sorry? I'm betting Bird knows that too."

"Come on." Bullock pulled on Jim's shoulder again, "You can't lay that all on her today. That's not fair."

"I know." Jim shook his head, "But what if she disappears again?"  
He pointed out how he couldn't find a trace of her before.

"She'll be back." Bullock assured him, "We could always leak some fake story to the news about Bruce Wayne's life being in danger. That brought her back back from the dead once; surely it would bring her back to the city now."

"That's not funny." Jim complained turning to face him. Voice full of disapproval.

"It was a little." Bullock defended. Nodding in the direction away from the funeral in a silent gesture of how they needed to get out of there.

 **••• Later That Day •••**

"Can I help you?"  
One of the uniformed officers by the door of the GCPD asked as he hurried to finish up the last few drags from the cigarette he'd stepped outside for.

Bird looked over at him.

She'd been standing outside one of the side entrances to the building for several minutes now trying to gather the strength to go inside.  
To see Jim.

When the young uniform got a look at her face he immediately recognized her.

"I'm here to see Jim Gordon."  
Bird announced.

"Okay…" The officer looked around them before offering, "Do you want me to go get him for you?"

"No." Bird flatly stated, shaking her head back and forth, "I'll find him myself."

He nodded, blew out a breath of smoke and put the cigarette out on the brick of the building before tossing the butt to the ground and opening the door, nodding for her to go on in.

"I'm not quite ready yet." Bird admitted with a unsteady laugh at how ridiculously hard it was to send the signal from her brain to her legs and get them to move.

"You okay?" He asked her with raised brows, before his eyes widened and he internally face-palmed. Cursing under his breath he said, "Damn, that's right. The funeral was today. Hey, I'm a… I'm sorry for your loss."

Her head cocked.  
If she hadn't been frozen in place she might have decked him. She loathed being told that.

Unable to read the look on her face but not feeling right about leaving her standing in a ally by herself when something was clearly wrong he hesitated to go back inside.

Noticing the hesitation, Bird said, "I just need a minute before going in. Hey, do me a favor though. Don't tell anyone you saw me."

Getting the feeling she might not go inside and find Jim after all, he nodded with a smile, "You got it."

He'd only been on the force a few weeks now and the last time he needed was to get wrapped up in any drama.

The minute Bird claimed she needed turned into more than ten until finally she pulled the door open and walked inside.

The entrance was close to the locker room and was supposed to be locked at all times, but with the employees who smoked ducking out for a cigarette whenever they got the chance it usually stayed unlocked.

She'd picked this door for a reason.  
She wanted to catch sight of Jim before he saw her. Give herself a quick escape if it turned out she didn't have it in her to face him after all.

She'd just left the hallway and entered the main room of the GCPD when she saw Jim walking with Bullock.

Now or never, she thought.  
This would only get harder as more time passed.

"Harvey!" Lee yelled across the station to Bullock.

The room fell into a dead silence.  
You could literally hear a pen drop when one of the officers working on some papers was startled and knocked a pen from his desk.

"As acting Captain, I demand you arrest Detective Gordon for the murder of my husband!" Lee didn't care that all eyes were on her.

She was fully aware her make-up was a mess from crying all morning at Mario's funeral and burial.  
She knew most of the men there would think she was crazy or acting erratic and being overly emotional.

But she didn't care.  
She had every right to both feel and exude every once of rage and grief boiling inside.

She'd lost more in her life than they could fathom and in her eyes she blamed it on one man and why should he get to go about living his life while she endured all the suffering.

"Lee…" Jim stepped forward into the room, his eyes cutting around the crowd who'd stopped what they were doing to watch the show, "Please-"

"Please?" Lee scoffed.  
Pulling in a ragged breath she shouted, "Please, what?!"

"You-" She stammered, unable to stand still from the emotions bubbling over inside of her, "You didn't have to kill him!"

"Dr. Thompkins, if I may…" Lucius interjected, "Your husband was infected-"

"Nathaniel Barnes was infected by the same virus and he's alive-" Lee screamed over Lucius' defense until another voice broke in.

"Barnes is infected with the same virus, you're right."  
Bird spoke up.

She tried to speak with reason as she walked over to where they were standing.  
"And he attacked me, thought he'd killed me and shoved me into the trunk of his car, Lee."

Coming to a stop next to where Jim was standing, she couldn't bring herself to look over at him but she could feel him watching her.

"He tried to kill me." Bird continued, "He was going to kill, Jim. Does that sound anything like the Captain Barnes you knew?"

Lee stared at Bird, tears burning at her already aching red-rimmed eyes.  
Her cheeks and nose were red and raw from the endless crying and constant friction with tissues.

"Mario was going to kill you." Bird's voice lowered, "He was infected."

"He didn't have to die!" Lee yelled, unable to contain herself, "Mario didn't have to die!"

"You're looking at it wrong." Bird shook her head, "Mario loved you so much, Lee. He told me that he'd rather die than do anything to hurt you or put in your life in danger. When he had people after him, he used himself as bait to draw them out and away from you to keep you safe."

Tears streamed down Lee's cheeks as she stared at her should be sister-in-law.

Bird's tried to keep her tone steady, but all she could hear inside of her head was the echoes of the scream Lee made when she saw Mario's body, "That… that… thing that Jim killed wasn't your husband, Lee. That wasn't Mario."

"Then why-" Lee stepped closer to her, "Why did Barnes get to be spared and not my husband, not your brother, Bird?"

Bird fell silent.  
She didn't have an answer and even if she had one, she didn't have the strength left in her to say anything else.

Her chest felt tight and her knees didn't feel steady.  
The day had taken far more of a toll on her than she'd realized.

And just hours ago she'd been so sure she was was fine.

"You don't know?" Lee asked trying to wipe the tears from her face but they were streaming out too fast, "Well, I do."

Turning to look at Jim, Lee coldly said, "Because you're the real virus, Jim. You seep into peoples lives until you destroy them."

Lee took a few steps back, threatening, "You haven't heard the end of this."

"And you-" Lee focused back on Bird, her voice softened as she offered a word of warning, "Get out while you can, before he destroys your life too."

With that she left with one of Falcone's guards who accompanied her right on her heels.

Bird's mind flashed back to the phone calls Barbara used to make in the middle of the night. Both jealously claiming Jim still loved her and also giving Bird the same warning -that it was only a matter of time before he destroyed her too.

" _He'll break you, B. Just like he broke me." Barbara's voice echoed through Bird's head, "Don't say I didn't warn you."_

The police station was slow in coming back to life after Lee had stormed out.  
Slowly, but surely the background noise picked up.

Some employees trying to get back to the cases and conversations they'd been engaged in before Lee took the place by storm.  
Others now whispering among themselves about the soap opera drama that just played out.

Bird looked frozen in time.  
Still standing in the same spot and staring off in the direction Lee had left in.

Jim turned to face her, afraid to say anything when she had that look about her.

It usually meant she was about to run.

The stillness of her appearance hid the tornado stirring up inside of her.  
All of the peace and quiet she'd managed to find in her few days locked away from the rest of the world were gone.

Life and reality was oozing back in and it hurt.

"Bird." Jim finally said.  
He reached out for her but stopped himself before making any contact.

Jarred back to reality, she glanced around and just like he'd suspected, she ran.

Literally.

Took off in the direction she'd came from.

Distance, she needed to put lots of it between them again.  
She'd made what felt like a fatal miscalculation by coming there; by thinking enough time had passed and she could face Jim.

And thinking she's came out of this mostly unscathed. That it okay and she'd be fine.  
She wasn't okay and nothing was fine.

She could hear Jim yell after her, his shows heavy against the floor as he ran after her.

"Bird!" He yelled when they were outside, "Stop! Please..."

Jim sounded every bit as broken as she felt and the sound brought her to a halt.  
The air was full of stale smoke and car exhaust and she couldn't breathe.

She didn't dare turn around to face him.

There was a beat of silence.  
The sound of a car horn in the distance and sirens mere streets away.

It took a few seconds for the shock to clear that she'd actually stopped running.  
He hadn't expected it.

"Please." Jim started, carefully walking towards her. His footsteps as silent as possible in an attempt to not startle her away, "I need you to... you…" He was stammering now, "You have to know that I never intended for any of this to happen."

He moved closer, "The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you."

"But that's exactly what you did!" Bird spun around to face him.  
The expression on her face cut through him like a razor blade.

"I know-"  
His eyes glistened in the light just before a cloud moved in front of the sun and shaded their direction.

"I'll fix this, remember?" Her tone was raspy. She still felt like she couldn't pull any oxygen in, "That's what you said to me. What you promised me!"

Bird reminded him of the day in the church, just before the wedding. The vow of his own he'd made that day.

"I know." Jim's voice wasn't louder than a whisper, "I remember."

It didn't look like he had any fight left in him.  
He'd taken the verbal blows Lee had dealt him without any protest and seemed fully prepared to be ripped apart be her too.

Her mouth hung open as she watched him.

She'd been geared up for a fight.  
Ready for him to throw it back in her face that he'd tried to warn her. That if only she'd just listened to him they could have saved Mario before it ever got that far.

But he didn't.  
Jim didn't try to lay any of the blame on her and somehow that crushed her worse than if he had.

"I hate him." Bird choked out the tears that had been threatening to spill out for days finally broke free.  
Wrapping her arms around herself, she seemed to shrink down on into herself, clutching at her sides and shaking as she fought for a breath.

"I hate him!" She yelled, "I went to see Mario right before the wedding. Begged him to be honest with me and he looked me right in the eyes and told me he wasn't infected. I hate him for lying to me."

She remembered the day Mario had first suggested they make up for lost time and get to know one another, how he'd asked her what she had to lose.  
When Bird agreed to it, she'd never imagined it would be him that she'd lose.

"And I…" Her voice was wavering uncontrollably now. Some words a raspy whisper and other so loud they hurt her own ears.  
Her entire body trembling from the outburst, "Hate him for ever coming into my life in the first place."

If he hadn't been important to her than she wouldn't be feeling the pain she was in now.

"And I hate myself for believing him and looking at him as my brother and for not believing you that something was wrong with him! I hate all of this! I hate looking at you and seeing the moment that Mario died-" She gasped for air, "And I hate-"

Jim's eyes cut away from her face, bracing for the impact  
The storm about to make landfall.  
He couldn't breathe.

It was clear what was coming next. What she was about to say to him.

"I hate…" She sobbed, "I hate _not_ being able to hate you."

Jim's eye went back to Bird's face with an equally stunned and broken expression on his own.  
 _I hate you_ , that was what he'd prepared for. What he'd expected and probably what he deserved.

Maybe it would have made it easier on them both if she did.

He stood there watching her unravel, coming apart from every angle and knowing he was the root cause of it.  
Wanting so badly to make it better.  
To fix it like he'd promised her would happen.

He took a step forward, knowing it was a bad move but wasn't able to stop himself from trying to go to her aid.

Bird stumbled back from him, nearly tripping over her own feet as she frantically reached up to try and dry her tears and clear her vision.

She thought she'd been ready to see him again. To figure out where they stood and where they'd go from there, but she'd been wrong.

Bird briskly turned headed for the exit of the ally they were standing in.  
He fought the urge to go after her, to yell out for to stop again.

He'd done enough damage and his every attempt to to make anything better seemed to do more harm than good.  
So, he stood silently and watched her go with a feeling that she'd ripped out what was left of his heart and took it with her.

 **•••**

* * *

 **A/N - Okay Bim shippers, show of hands. Who else is heartbroken right now?!  
Lol! No, but seriously. This chapter took a lot out of me and I really hope you all liked it!  
**

 **Thank you to: Shadow knight1121, ThatMysteriousSlime, SmellYourScentForMiles, Katniess789, Adela, Raging Raven, Havana, LovelyIce, xxXWolfsLullabyXxx, MORELENOREMORE and to the Guests who reviewed the last chapter!  
**

 **As always the support and feedback this story gets is what keeps me inspired to write and update  
So if you're a fan, please let me know!**

 **xx**


	21. What's Love Without Tragedy?

**XXI - What's Love Without Tragedy?  
**

" _There was a small part of me that was still childish, stubborn in her hope, thinking I could somehow have everything." - Megan Miranda, All the Missing Girls_

* * *

 **•••**

Jim slowly walked down the stairs, fastening the buttons on his jacket as he walked towards the kitchen.

Just another morning in the townhouse alone.

It had been a week since Mario's funeral. Seven nights that he'd laid down to sleep at night missing Bird and waking up in the morning somehow missing her even more.

He'd been so conflicted on what he should do.

Bullock kept telling him to give it time; to give Bird time.

But now here he was completely alone in the townhouse they'd shared together for quite some time.

Granted, he knew it wasn't technically his house, but it felt like home. Or at least it did when Bird was there.

And now he was left in this awkward position of not knowing if he should continue staying there or leave.  
He did still have a house across town he'd paid a full years rent on when he was working as a bounty hunter.

Letting out a sigh, he shook his head, the memories of living in that place bearing down like a physical weight on him.  
He'd never been a such a low place in his life before and he never wanted to go back.

Jim knew he'd never have made it out of there had it not been for Bird and her stubbornness.  
Her refusal to give up on him and how she'd pushed him to not give up on himself either.

There were many times when she was the singular thing that kept him from drowning and now he had no idea where she was -or how she was holding up.

Maybe that's why he continued to stay in their house, the downstairs lights left on when he went upstairs to sleep at night -a show of his own stubbornness; that he was there waiting on her.  
That he wasn't giving up.

Jim's thoughts were interrupted when he heard something move in the kitchen.

Bird?  
He more-so wished than actually thought as he drew closer to the room.

It wouldn't be unlike her to be moving about the house with him having no idea.  
She could be dangerously quiet -especially when she wanted too.

But when he saw who it was, his heart sank. Hopes dashed.

It wasn't Bird at all.

"Hope you don't mind." Victor Zsasz smiled at Jim as he took another drink from the glass bottle of milk he'd swiped from their refrigerator, "Helped myself."

"What are you doing here?" Jim's voice was flat.  
Not amused by the assassins antics.

"I'm here as a messenger." Zsasz answered.

Jim glanced around, memorizing the scene and possible weapons he could grab if need be.

He pulled in a breath, deciding to play along.  
"Okay… I'm listening."

Zsasz stepped closer to where Jim seemed to be lingering in the doorway.

"You messed up, Jim." He drew the words out with every step closer until he came to a stop and slammed the glass bottle down on the counter so hard Jim thought for sure it might break, "Killed the Don's son. He's beside himself."

"I've never seen him like this before." Zsasz glanced down at the floor.

"I want to speak with him." Jim insisted, now he was the one moving in closer.

There was a beat of silence. Victor looked like he could burst into a fit of laughter at any moment.

"Oh, no, we're waaay past that." He chuckled, "It's only a matter of time before he gives the nod to put a bullet in your head."

"You can try." Jim's posture slouched to a shrug.

Victor's expression hardened.  
He looked almost offended.

"I don't try." His voice lowered and he started forward. Advancing slowly like a serial killer on film. No need to run after his prey, he'd always get them in the end. "And I never stop. You won't see me coming and you won't feel a thing."

Jim shifted his stance. Growing more uncomfortable by the second.

He didn't know much about the time Bird had spent working beside Victor Zsasz under Falcone, she never talked about it.

But he knew at on point she didn't like him, that they'd nearly killed each other in a fight when he'd been sent to bring her to Falcone.  
Then next think he'd knew, Bird was referring to the him as a friend.

Out of everyone, when she knew she was in danger and Tetch was going to take her - she'd called Victor for help.  
A move that ended up saving the day and all of their lives, but still a move that still didn't sit right with Jim.

"If we don't get a chance to talk before that…it's been really nice knowing you." Victor said earnestly, "You're a good egg."

Jim pulled in a deep breath. Stayed silent until Victor had walked past him out of the room, but he didn't let him get far before he questioned, "Does Bird know about this?"

"I don't know." Victor turned back to face him, "She's been dodging Don Falcone's calls. And ever since she left the lawyer's house -I have no idea where she went."

Jim's brows lowered, "Lawyer's house…"

"You know-" Victor egged on, holding an arm up in the air to signal the person they were talking about was several inches taller than they were, "Tall guy; short fuse. Works for the DA's office?"

"Dent?"  
He knew he'd said the name out loud but it didn't feel like he had.  
There was a feeling a shock and numbness starting to set in.

"Bingo!" Zsasz loudly exclaimed when Jim guessed right.

Jim seemed stuck, frozen in time. Motionless on the outside but clearly something was brewing under the surface.

"Oh…" Zsasz stared at him, a smirk tugged at his mouth, "You didn't know?"

"I…" Jim cleared his throat, shook his head. Trying to recover -or at the very least not show he was as rattled by the news as he was.

Victor's eyes cast up towards the ceiling as he voiced his thoughts out loud.

"I thought at first she might end up back on the drugs and-" Victor mimicked tossing back a drink, "Let's be honest. She used to be a mess."

Holding his hands up as sides of a scale he considered, "Drugs and booze… abusive ex."  
He moved his hands, trying to weigh which was worse. "We've all got our bad habits, I guess."

The color drained from Jim's face.

Victor bit back a laugh.  
He'd come there to toy with him a bit -but to also give him fair warning that his time was running out.  
He hadn't quite expected to throw him so far off.

"Come on!" Victor slapped Jim's arm and the detective seemed to almost jump out of his skin, "You knew that about that at least, right?"

Jim didn't answer. He couldn't bring himself too.

Bird had told him on multiple occasion that when she was Harvey Dent that things were either really good or really bad.  
He'd pried, asked her just how bad things had gotten -but she'd never give him a straight answer.

Maybe he'd even like to plead ignorance, but deep down he'd known.

Trying to ignore the ache in his chest, Jim cleared his throat again and pointed out, "Carmine has to know that if he tries to send you to kill me, that Bird's going to-"

"Honestly, Jim?" Victor's hairless brows raised, his forehead wrinkled with the expression, "Do you even know her?"

"Yes." Jim asserted without missing a beat, "I know her."

"Then maybe you shouldn't have killed her brother." He loudly whispered with a hand to the side of his mouth as if her were spilling a secret, "Still, nice shot with Mario though. I never liked him."

 **•••**

Rinsing the last of the toothpaste out of her mouth, Bird looked up at the dingy mirror above the rusted sink and dropped the handle of her toothbrush back into the cup on the edge of the sink.

She scowled at her reflection.

It had been a week since Mario's funeral.  
A full seven days since she'd last seen or spoke to Jim.

She guessed in that time she'd only managed to catch a handful of hours of sleep.

After she'd left Jim in the ally outside of the GCPD station, she'd gotten back in her car and drove directly back to Harvey's house.

But rather than going in, she sat out in her car for what felt like hours before she finally left.

It had felt like a win.  
One bad habit dropped.

That was until she stopped by a liquor store.  
She knew she couldn't get through what she was feeling alone.

And getting pass-out drunk sounded like the better alternative.  
With as low as she'd been feeling, she knew if she went back to see Harvey she'd do something -well, they'd do something she end up regretting because she wanted to feel something other than her broken heart.

Only if it was short lived.

As she trekked through the living room, the soles of her socked feet picking up grime from the floor she thought back to when she'd first saw Jim in that house.

The house he'd rented after she'd left Gotham so many months ago now. When he could no longer stand to remain the townhouse without her.

He'd been working as a bounty hunter at the time, rounding up and sometimes killing the Arkham escapees.

Jim had later told her he'd been drunk when he signed the lease for the house.  
But he'd needed somewhere to rest his head and the place was cheap and ready to move into with no questions asked once he paid the entire years rent up front.

Another bad decision he had the bottle to thank for.

She remembered Jim barely keeping his head above water while he lived there.

She imagined the same could be said for previous tenants.  
The house wasn't a place someone with any other option would end up at.

Then again, she had other options, which beckoned the question of what the Hell was wrong with her.

She'd been asking herself that question since the night she'd stumbled through the door and didn't even get the door shut behind her before she passed out in the recliner chair that didn't work and woke up hours later with no memory of how she'd gotten there.

Apparently the shack of a house was beacon for the lost and hopeless.

Picking the remote up off the worn couch, she flipped the morning news on and sat down in the same clothes she'd been wearing and sleeping in for at least the last three days.

The news was talking about Mayor Cobblepot and the recent polls of Gothamite's approval rating.

She couldn't get her brain to focus on the story, but the bits that came in clearly seemed to show it was a positive rating.

Crime was down. Employment was up and the city was doing better than it had in a while.

The same could not be said for Bird.  
Who lazily walked in the kitchen and grabbed up the new box of cereal from the bag of few grocieries she'd left on the kitchen table when she'd made her last outing a few days before.

She cursed under her breath as she realized the bottle of milk was also still in the same bag the box of cereal had been in.  
Apparently she hadn't the sense to put it into the fridge.

"Whatever." She grumbled as she threw the entire thing away and broke into the cereal deciding to eat it dry instead.

Setting the box down on the counter, she stared at the cabinet to the right of the sink.

"Time for the most important decision of the day-" Bird said out loud to herself as she opened the cabinet, "Starting the day off with bourbon or coffee?"

A decision that was put on hold when her phone started to ring.

Her eyes cut over to the counter where she'd laid her cellphone to charge.

There were several options of who it could be.

Bruce had tried to call her several times.  
And before the debacle the day of Mario's funeral turned into, she'd fully intended on going to see her little brother.

But now she couldn't bring herself to even talk to him or anyone else on the phone.

Jim had called her exactly two times in the past week.  
Both times leaving a voicemail of several seconds of silence. He didn't know what to say.

Oswald had left a frantic message in the middle of the night on Tuesday yelling into the phone about seeing his father's ghost.  
A nightmare, she'd assumed.

Another downfall of slipping into old habits and isolation meant her own sleep demons had returned.. And violently so, she'd gotten tangled in the sheets one night and flipped out of the bed -smacking her forehead on the corner of the nightstand as she did.

Ivy had called her a couple of times, leaving messages with a whine her voice of how much she missed her and didn't understand why if Jim was the one who killed her brother she was mad at her about it.

Bird wasn't currently upset with Ivy for any reason, but the redhead didn't see it that way and assumed if Bird was dodging her calls that it must mean she she was angry with her about something,

Falcone had tried to call her more than once as well.  
Of course he never left any messages.

The other possibility was the one she feared every time the phone rang and the singular reason she'd been keeping it charged up and powered on at all.

Her heart skipped when she saw the caller id.

Opening up the phone she pressed it her ear.

"What's going on?" Bird answered the call.

"Hey." The deep male voice greeted followed by the sound of him taking a drink of his morning coffee, "You were right. Looks like Falcone put Victor Zsasz on the job. He just went into your house."

"Jim-" Bird started, but her P.I. already knew the question, "Left for work already. He's safe. For now at least."

"Zsasz is still in the house though." The investigator added, "I don't know that hell he's doing in there."

"Thank you." Bird sighed, "For now keep a safe distance. If he knows you're following him, he'll kill you. No questions asked."

"Got it, boss."

With that the call ended.

She took a moment to compose herself and then dialed Zsasz's number.

"Gooood morning." He drew out the greeting, "I was just thinking about you."

"We're you now?" Bird chuckled, leaning back against the counter and questioned, "This early in the morning?"

"Well…" Zsasz walked through the living room and parted the blinds, his eyes focusing on the dark car parked across the street, "You've had a guy following all week now."

A wide smile spread over his lips at the sudden silence from Bird's end of the call.

Letting go the slats and letting the blinds snap back into place, he questioned, "Got anything good to eat in here?"

"Wouldn't know." Bird's voice was flat, "Haven't been home in a while."

"And how long are you going to be avoiding Jimbo?" Zsasz questioned, "I know he killed your brother and all, but I thought you'd at least want to say goodbye to him."

"That's why I'm here." He added.

When she didn't say anything, he laughed, "Relax, Bird. If I'd been sent to kill him he'd already be dead. I came here to give him fair warning of the inevitable."

"Sounds like you just missed him-" Bird tried to keep up with the conversation, but her mind was fraying.

"Nope, we had a nice chit-chat earlier today." Victor looked around the room as he settled into a seat on the couch, "I left and waited for him to go to work. Then circled back around to toy with the guy you hired to tail me."

"Victor." Bird's voice came out with a plead, "Has Falcone put a hit on Jim?"

"Negative." He leaned forward, running the finger tips of his leather gloves over the glossy polish on decorative end table.

"But he's going to?" Bird questioned.

"You know how this works. Blood for blood."

"I'm going to see Falcone today." She insisted, "I'll fix this."

"How?" He questioned.

"I don't know yet." She admitted, "But for now just get out of my house and on your way tell my guy he's fired, alright?"

Closing the flip-phone, Bird dropped it on the counter and pulled in a deep breath.

Her question had been answered. Coffee it was.  
She needed to be clear and alert.  
Needed to be sober even though it was going to hurt.

She made her way back into the bedroom and unzipped the duffel bag of her belongings to find something clean to wear.

It was time to stop wallowing.  
Time to take a shower and try to be human again

 **•••**

Lee jumped to her feet when she heard the front door to her house open.

"Hey, sis." Bird greeted as she stepped into view.

"Bird…" Lee shook her head.  
Unable to hide the shock on her face.

She'd thought Bird had left Gotham.  
Maybe that had made it easier to give the all clear to Falcone for putting out the hit on Jim.

"This is okay, right?" Bird's brows raised as she motioned from the front door to where she was now standing, "I mean, we're family, right?"

Bird held her arms out to the sides and waited on a response.

She was feeling a bit better though she wasn't sure if the shower she'd taken had really sobered her mind up or if it was that she now had a purpose and a mission.

"See." Bird continued, tucking her hair behind her ears, "I was on my way to see Falcone this morning when I got a call from an old friend." Bird's mind went back to the call from Zsasz just several minutes ago, letting her know it was official. Falcone had given him the orders to take Jim down.

"I was on my way to try and convince him to not kill Jim -when Victor told me that Falcone left the decision up to someone else." Bird added.

Lee swallowed.

"Which is strange considering the natural law of how this works is blood for blood. His pound of flesh to take or not… but it seems like you were the deciding vote, Lee." Bird's voice flooded out with a jolt of attitude.

Lee's face twisted. She lowered her head.  
She could deny it.

Falcone had assured her he'd be the one to take Jim's life and not her; however he did caution her that it would be a burden they'd both carry.

Maybe it was easier to stomach her decision when she felt like she didn't play a part in it.

"So basically my biological father has decided to side with the wife of his dead son over his living and breathing daughter." Bird's words ripped through her like bullets.

Bird closed her eyes.  
That actually came out much harsher than she'd meant to.

After a week alone her people skills clearly rusted.

Tears welled up in Lee's eyes, "Mario was a good man."

"I know." Bird nodded.

"He didn't deserve what happened to him. He didn't deserve to be killed. To be shot dead on his wedding day!" Lee continued.

"I"m not arguing with you." Bird confessed.

"Then why are you here?" Lee's voice cracked again, "To threaten me so I'll call it off? Go ahead. I don't care. I don't have anything left to lose now. So take your shot!"

"That's where you're wrong, Lee." Bird walked up to her, "I'm not here to hurt or threaten you. I'm here to save you."

Lee's forehead lined. Her entire expression twisted up.  
"From what?"

"Yourself." Bird simply answered.

"I don't dislike you." Bird started but was cut off when Lee stammered, "I don't dislike you either? I… I don't hold anything that's happened against you."

"Good." Bird managed a smile, "Then call Falcone and tell him to call the hit off."

"I can't do that." Lee argued.

Crossing her arms over her chest, Lee walked across the room and tried to keep her breathing steady.  
She felt like she was on verge of tears again, which also felt like it should be impossible considering she didn't think she had any tears left in her to cry.

"Why not?"  
Bird's voice was high pitched.  
The question came out of her like an teenager who'd just been told they couldn't borrow the car.

"Are you… are you kidding me?" Lee spun back around, tears were already starting to run down her cheeks again, "I hat him. James Gordon deserves to die!"

"Come on, Lee-"  
Bird tried to argue.

"I meant what I said that day at the GCPD. He is a virus. Everything he touches dies!"  
Lee's voice was shrill and Bird cringed from the sound.

"What happened isn't Jim's fault." Bird stepped forward.

"He didn't have to kill him!" She screamed out the same thing she'd been saying for days on end.

Bird's face flushed. Anger bubbling beneath the surface.

She wanted to scream back at her, tell her that she'd seen the entire thing, that if Jim hadn't taken that shot Mario would have killed her.

Point out that even if Mario didn't carry the Falcone name, he was still a Mafia Don's son -and she couldn't pretend she'd never expected anything bad to happen to them.

But Bird pushed the anger down, because she and death were old friends and she knew how much Lee was hurting.

"I know that right now you think Jim dying is going to make losing Mario hurt less, but it won't, Lee." Bird held her arms out to the sides, "You're not a killer and if you go through with this then you'll never forgive yourself."

"I'm not going to let Jim die." Bird leveled her voice, and took another step forward, "I'm going to do whatever it takes to save him, but I meant what I said about being here to save you too. You think just giving the word to take someone's life is less of a burden to carry than pulling the trigger yourself? It's not."

"I don't care-" Lee tried to stubbornly argue.  
Only able to see the world in rage red.

"Maybe not in this moment, but you will." Bird reached out, her hand landing on Lee's arm, "And when the smoke clears you'll hate yourself for it."

Lee looked down to where Bird's hand was on her and then slowly looked back at her face.

"Go to Arkham." Bird suggested, "Meet with Barnes and you'll see exactly how much the virus can change someone and then you'll understand that what Jim killed that day wasn't Mario."

 **•••**

"There she is." Falcone said with a heavy sigh as he looked up to see Bird entering the room, "I'd gone from wondering _when_ to _if_ you'd show your face again."

Bird pulled her coat off, laid it over the back of the nearest chair and awkwardly hung her arms at her side. "I didn't know what to say to you."

He took a drink from his glass of alcohol but didn't say anything.

"Call Victor." Bird instructed, "Tell him to stop hunting Jim."

"And why would I do that?" He questioned, draining the last of the glass and setting the empty cup down on the end table beside his seat.

Bird sat down in the chair she'd draped her jacket over. "Because I'm your daughter." She pointed out, her eyes were dry but full of emotion when she added, "And as your daughter, I'm asking you to not have the man that I love killed."

It didn't feel like she was asking for that much.

"You know, my dear…" He shook his head, "You only want me as a father when it benefits you."

Bird's eyes cut down to the floor.  
He was right.  
The only times she'd really called on him was when she needed a favor.

"Well, I'm sorry, but not this time." Falcone stood up, "I shouldn't have to explain to you how this works. Gordon killed my son. My family."

"Please." Bird stammered, "Don't do this."

"It's already done." Falcone argued, a look of disgust on his face as he spoke in an over-bearing tone, "I cared for Jim Gordon, truth be told I often thought of him as a son. But he crossed a line. It's the natural law, his life is mine to take."

"Blood for blood." Bird ran hands through her hair, "But Mario was my blood too -and I'm your blood-"

Falcone crossed the room, looking out of the large windows into the perfectly manicured lawn as he listened her to her try and persuade him to not kill Jim.

Bird tried to reason that Mario was infected, but Falcone insisted that carrying a virus or not that Mario was still his son.

She gave him every reason she could think of to stop the hit he'd put out, trying to appeal to both the familial bond they shared and the bigger picture.  
But she was wasting her breath.

Bird rubbed her hands over her face and pulled in a deep breath.  
A brick wall would have absorbed more of what she was saying than he was.

Her head was pounding, her chest felt like an elephant was sitting on it.  
She couldn't breathe.

There was no winning in this situation. No outcome in which she wasn't going to lose someone important to her.

Falcone glanced over his shoulder when Bird finally fell into silence. He caught sight of her with her head in her hands and he wondered if she'd given up -or what ploy she'd try with him next.

He started over towards the open bottle he'd left on the table, intending to have another glass when she said something that brought him to a halt.

"Dad, please don't take him from me."

Falcone turned to face her, face his daughter who'd just called him that for the first time in her life.

"Dad?" He repeated it back to her.  
Stared her down and tried to determine how much of this was a manipulation.  
Did her callousness have no bounds?

"You know…" He breathed out with a dry laugh, "What I wouldn't have given for you to call me that instead of Don Falcone for all these years." He pointed out, "But you're only doing so now to get your way -and it's not going to work. Not this time."

Bird stood up, silent as she walked over to him.  
Faced him with a pleading look on her face.

All but begging him to not put her in this position.

But the expression on his face was stone. He wasn't going to cave.  
And damn if he didn't always manage to turn her into someone she didn't like.

Bird looked down at the floor, usually this would be the point where she'd feel like she'd shrunk down.  
Where despite everything they'd been through where he was still the Don and she the lowly member of his organization willing to do whatever it took to earn his respect.

When Bird raised her head, her entire posture straightened, the expression on her face was vastly different from the young woman he'd been looking at seconds before who'd been on the verge of tears pleading with him.

What a nightmare she must have been to raise as a teenager, Falcone thought to himself, for the first time he wasn't envious of the Waynes and how they got to watch her grow her up.

"Tell me." Falcone's eyes squinted, "We're you so quick on turn on Thomas and Martha Wayne when you didn't get your way?"

She didn't answer out loud, but in her head she said yes.  
It was true too. She'd never coped well with being told no -especially when it was by her father.

"I am sorry that your son is dead." Bird's head cocked ever so slightly to the left, "But Jim is my family now and I won't let you hurt -or take away another thing that I love."

"Lee will be calling you soon, to tell you to call of the hit." She continued, "And I really… really hoped that you'd make the right decision here too-"

"Is that so?" He went from looking angry to appearing almost amused at the sudden shift in her attitude, "You think you can stop this-"

"You are not the Don anymore!" Bird spoke over him -the very same way he'd done to her so many times before.

Gone were the days of her bowing before him. The submissiveness.

"Oswald runs Gotham now." Bird pointed out, "From both sides of the law now that he's mayor. He is my best friend. You're being allowed back in Gotham is a show of respect from him… one that can be withdrew with a single word from me."

Out of the corner of her eye, Bird saw his hand clench into a fist at his side.

Her mind flashed back to the night in Fish's club when he'd struck her so hard across the side of her face it had brought her down.

She shook the hair from her face and stared him down.  
One might even say dared him to take a swing; maybe even wanted him too.

"You are out of control." Falcone accused, "You have no idea what you're doing."

Bird laughed.

"I'm in control." She cleared her throat, "Your days of telling me what to do… of me trying to earn the respect of the Don are over. Long gone. You don't' see it, but you're powerless here."

"That-" He abruptly pointed at her, "That loyalty…."  
He shook his head, "Why does your sense of that never lie where it should."

"With you?" Bird's voice cracked with another laugh, "Why would it? All you have ever done is try to control me. To make feel indebted to you!"

"When I was with Harvey; you had him beat half to death-" Bird's brows shot up as if to silently say, _yeah I'm still mad about that_ , "And now you've sicced Victor Zsasz on Jim!"

"You're very quick to forget all I've done for you." He reminded her, "You're alive because of me."

Smacking his hand away from where he was still pointing an accusatory finger at her, Bird matched his tone, "And you're alive because of me. How quickly you forget that."

Pulling in a breath, Bird tried to center herself and took a few steps back.

Her expression looked mournful as she said, "Call Victor off and then get out of _my_ city."

There was a finality to her words and she turned to leave.

Falcone watched her.  
Maybe he shouldn't have come back to Gotham at all.

He'd left for a reason, partially that he'd been pushed out but he'd also made the decision to leave.

As much as he loved Gotham for all the city was, he knew now more than ever that the sun didn't really shine there.

It wasn't until he'd retired to his estate in Miami that he'd fully realized it.  
How every breath he'd taken was sweeter outside of the city.  
His every step lighter.

And now the city had claimed the life of his son and his daughter felt just as lost to him.

"If you do this." He called after her, "Choose the man who killed your brother over your family -there is no going back. No more favors. You will be entirely on your own. You walk out of here and there is no turning back."

Bird slowed to a stop, her head dropped forward.  
She didn't dare turn around.  
Not about to let him see how much this all hurt her.

"I've always been on my own."  
Bird flatly said.

 **•••**

Jim glanced over his shoulder with a quick surveillance of his surroundings before he opened the door and quickly ducked inside the house he'd lived in during his stent as a bounty hunter.

It was technically still his, at least until for a few more months until the years rent he paid and the lease he signed would run out.

He'd taken most everything with him to Bird's townhouse, but he'd left a few things behind; some weapons as well.

He'd spent the better part of the morning trying to dodge and escape Victor Zsasz, who was yet again trying to kill him.

He'd made a quick escape from the building where they'd had their most recent shootout, but he figured the assassin wasn't too far behind him, so he was just making a quick stop to grab what he needed and get going again.

Of course they had plenty of weapons stashed at the townhouse, but he wasn't going to lead Zsasz back there, knowing very well he'd destroy the entire house trying to carry out the hit.

Once he shut the door behind him, Jim started to run towards the bedroom but stopped so fast he nearly tripped over his own feet.

The coffee table was littered with take out trash. Bottles, containing varying amounts of left over alcohol were there in abundance.  
For a brief second he thought he'd imagined cleaning the place up before he moved back in with Bird.

The mess and chaos inside the shabby house was nearly identical to how it had looked when he'd been living there; if you could call it living.  
More like barely surviving against his own will.

He took a few more steps inside the house, ears tuned for any sounds or sign of movement.  
Jim looked over into the kitchen and saw a purple coffee mug sitting on the counter by the sink.

Bird.  
Perhaps he'd known it before he even saw the proof of the cup in her favorite color, before he noticed the open bag of her clothes on the side of the bed.

The shock hadn't even worn out when the heard the door open behind him, autopilot took over an he whirled around, gun drawn and ready to fire.

"Whoa!" Bullock yelled back at him, though he couldn't pretend he was surprised at his partner's jumpiness, "Hello to you too."

Shutting the door behind him, Bullock joked, "You didn't think you'd get rid of me that easily, did you?"

"How'd you find me?" Jim asked him, lowering the weapon and breathing in a sigh of relief.

"Well…" Bullock started, "I figured Bird's pissed enough you shot her brother and you don't want to tick her off even more by having Zsasz turn the walls of her house to Swiss Cheese trying to get at you."

Jim nodded his head.

"Plus, I thought you might need something with a bit more bite." He handed over one of the two shot guns he'd brought with him.

"Thanks." Jim took the weapon.  
He turned and continued on his walk into the bedroom with Bullock tailing him as Jim explained he was just making a quick stop by the house to get more ammo.

Bullock frowned at the state of the place.  
He too remembered when Jim had been staying there, mainly around the time Jervis Tetch had planted a suicidal impulse in his head to push him over the edge.

He been under the impression Jim was still living at the townhouse, even with Bird gone, but now he could see he'd been wrong.  
It appeared that Jim was back to his old habits again. The place smelled like an old musty bar.

"How long you been back here?" Bullock asked, walking over to the one of the dressers and eyeing a bottle of whiskey sitting next to the lamp on top.

Jim didn't answer, he was knelt down entering the combination to a safe where he kept a gun in the closet.

Bullock picked up a glass from the dresser, give it a quick sniff before he poured himself a drink.

"Not long enough to unpack?" Bullock continued as he saw the open duffel bag on the bed.

Jim frowned when the combination he'd entered on the safe didn't work. He tried it again, slower this time, making sure to stop exactly on the right numbers, only it still didn't unlock.

"Uhhh… Jim?" Bullocks voice rang out, "Something you wanna tell me?"

"What-" Jim started to ask, giving up on the safe and turning back around to see what Bullock was talking about, but stopped when he saw Bullock was holding up a black bra by one of the straps.

"Put it down!" Jim ordered as he went over and snatched it away from him, tossing it onto the bag he'd pulled it out of.

When his partner continued to stare at him with raised brows, Jim sighed, hands on his hips and bending at the middle from exhaustion, "Clearly I've not been staying here… Bird has."

The look on Bullock's face was blank before he cracked a smile and chuckled.

"It's not funny." Jim argued with him.

"Come on." He egged him on, "This whole damn time you've been trying to find here and she's been here. Right under your nose. Living at your house the entire time? Yeah, that's pretty funny."

"Not the whole time." Jim muttered under his breath.  
The tidbit of information that Victor Zsasz had shared with him that morning still weighing heavily on his mind. That Bird had originally been staying with Harvey Dent.

"What does that mean?" Bullock asked.

"Nothing." Jim excused.  
He started to say they'd been there long enough and should hit the road, but Bullock was already asking, "Why didn't you tell me about Zsasz?"

"It's my business." Jim's eyes traveled around the room again, "My problem. Not yours."

"That's a bit ridiculous. Seeing as how I'm standing next to you most of the time." Bullock pointed out.  
It wasn't but an hour or so ago that Zsasz and his accomplices had opened fire one them right after they'd broke up a gathering of Jerome's followers.

Even though he'd been dead for quite some time, the cult of followers he'd gained were still hanging on his every word. Watching every second of news footage he'd been in. Repeating back his every word that had been captured on film.

"Yeah." Jim agreed with a shamefaced smile, "Sorry about that."

Within seconds the panes of frosted glass on the doors were shattered by bullets.  
A leather clad arm and gloved hand reached through the wreckage to release the lock.

Both Jim and Bullock dove behind walls for shield from the gunfire.

Zsasz walked inside, took a brief second to look around before opening fire with and assault rifle. Not aiming for any real targets. Just littering the walls with bullet holes.

Drywall dust and bits of plaster made smoke in the air. Splinters of wood were chipped and flying around from the force of the blows.

Fabric of furniture was ruined, stuffing hanging out of cushions like organs spilling from a disemboweled body.

Zsasz smiled widely, turning slowing from side-to-side, emptying out every last bullet in the magazine. Blowing holes through every surface around him. Destroying the entire living room and anything in it.

When the gun was empty, he dropped it to the floor and smiled again at the damage he'd done.

His head stayed in place, but his eyes were alert, darting around and trying to see where the GCPD detectives had gone.

Crossing his arms over his center, he drew both guns from his underarm holsters and started his search of the house. His steps silent.

He found Bullock first.  
Took aim at his head and casually asked, "What's up?"

Bullock froze, his neck was tense as he tried to look over his shoulder to where Zsasz was standing.

Cursing under his breath, Bullock laid his weapon down and turned around to fully face him.  
He'd came there to help Jim, not give the person hunting him something to use against him.

"Jim!" Zsasz called out in a near singsong tone, "Come out, come out wherever you are."

The house was silent.

Jim closed his eyes as he leaned against the wall he'd tucked himself behind.  
He held his breath. There had to be a way out of this, but the second he moved from where he was hiding he'd been seen.

"It's your time to die today." Zsasz continued to taunt him, "Not his." His eyes locked on Bullock.

"Don't listen to him, Jim!" Bullock yelled.  
Despite his best efforts to sound strong, his voice shook.

There was always something about Victor Zsasz that deeply unsetteled him -especially when he was staring down the barrel of a gun.

The floor creaked and Victor outstretched his arm on instinct, taking aim at the threat before he even saw who it was. He turned his head to see there was a gun now pointed at him -only it wasn't Jim behind it.

"Hiya." Victor smiled wide, all teeth. Like a shark.  
He looked at the gun he'd pointed at Bird and the gun she had pointed at him.

"Hey." Bird returned the greeting. A smile on her lips.

Neither of them lowered their guns.

Bullock leaned more against the side of the the tall dresser he'd previously been crouched beside when trying to hide.

Bird looked over at him, her head cocked to the side and she seemed almost offended that he wasn't relieved to see her, her eyes narrowed, "Smile Bullock. I'm here to save you."

"Yeah?" He scoffed, choking on the breath of air he'd taken in, "That might bring me some comfort if you hadn't tried to kill me before."

Her brows furrowed, "I never tried-"

"You forgetting the time you gave the orders for this psycho-" He nodded towards Zsasz, "To rip a building apart with all of us inside of it?"

Recognition flashed in her eyes.  
The time she'd tried to kill Butch for his betrayals of working with Galavan. She'd ended up trapped inside the building with Butch, Jim and Bullock -with Zsasz outside with some others, all heavily armed.

But she'd gone too far back with Butch, had considered him family for so long that she didn't have it in her to pull the trigger.  
So she'd gave the orders for Zsasz to take the building and everyone inside of it to make sure Butch died, even if she had to go with him.

Bird half-smiled with a shrug and pointed out,  
"I was in a really bad state of mind back then."

Bullock looked around them at the mess she'd been living in, "How's your state of mind now?"

Her eyes narrowed and for a fleeting second he wondered if she'd turn the gun on him,

"Good times." Victor commented on the trip down memory lane

Jim moved, craned his neck and looked around the corner to see the standoff.

Bullock rendered unarmed, Zsasz pointing a gun at both Bullock and Bird, and Bird with her weapon pointed back at him.

This entire thing was madness, he thought, all of this destruction and endangering of lives because someone was after him.

With a breath, Jim stepped out into view.  
The gun Bullock had given him still in hand, but lowered at his side.

"Now you show yourself?" Zsasz complained.  
If only he had a third arm and gun to take the kill shot.

But now they truly were at an impasse, if he moved and tried to shoot his intended target then he had no doubt in his mind that Bird would shoot him.

He didn't think she'd kill him, but she'd do enough damage to bring him down and it would hurt like hell.

"If I could just speak with Carmine-" Jim started to explain.  
Somewhere inside of him he still believed he could justify what he'd done.

That if he could just explain everything this would be solved.

"Falcone is leaving Gotham." Bird's line of sight cut over to him for a moment before she had to look away again, focused back on Zsasz, "After he calls off the hit of course."

"Hmm?" Victor hummed with raised hairless brows, "I'll believe that when it comes from Don Falcone."

Trying to buy time, stall the situation without it escalating any further, without having to hurt a friend or have anyone she cared about wind up hurt, Bird asked, "Why are you doing this for him anyways? You've been working for Oswald."

"Not exclusively" Victor answered, before eyeing her with a knowing look and adding, if for no other reason than to get under her skin, "I like Penguin, but he's not a Falcone."

"I'm a Falcone." Bird tried, "So listen to me and put the guns down?"

"Nice try." Victor could have laughed, "But if you wanted to give the orders than you should have taken over the city -not handed it to Penguin."

Bullock glanced over at Jim with a questioning look on his face.  
Only in Gotham could people have a casual conversation while pointing at guns at one another.

Jim gave a small shake of his head in response.  
He wasn't sure what was going on either, but if Bird was telling the truth about Falcone calling off the hit then she was probably trying to buy them some time.

"I didn't want the city." Bird reminded him.  
Her jaw tensed.

"That's right!" Victor loudly agreed, "You wanted your lawyer."  
He looked over at Jim with a wink before directing his attention back to Bird, "How'd that work out for you?"

She swallowed, felt her cheeks start to heat up.

"I will shoot you." Her tone had gone dry.  
All traces of her formerly amused expression were long gone.

"And I'll shoot back." He answered, readjusting his grip on the handgun to fire at her if need be.

Bullock looked around the room.  
"What the hell is going on?"

"That's what I was about to ask."  
Falcone agreed, now standing in the doorway of the house to see Victor pointing guns at the two people in the room he hadn't been given the orders to end.

"Ran into some trouble-" Zsasz started to explain, but Falcone cut him off.

"Relax, Zsasz." He walked further into the house, "Job's been canceled.

When he lowered guns, Falcone added, "You can go home."

"Okay, boss." Zsasz smiled, returned his guns to their holster and left.

Bird laid the gun in her hand down on the nearest table and avoided Jim's eyes as he walked closer to where she was.

"I'm sorry."  
He earnestly said as he looked between Bird and Falcone.

It wasn't enough and Jim knew that, but what else could he possibly say?

"If it was up to me, you'd be dead." Falcone callously said as he stared Jim down.

He paused to look once more at his daughter who stared emotionless back at him before he left.

Bullock watched the former Mafia boss leave, he was dressed in a long over coat and bowler hat, he thought back to what Bird had said.

He was first to break the silence of the house as he questioned, "He's really leaving Gotham?"

"Yes." Bird answered, pulling her eyes away from the open door her biological father's imposing frame had just left through, "There's nothing left here for him. Not anymore."

Bullock picked the glass back up from the dresser and downed the drink he'd poured himself before the standoff.  
He just needed a little something to edge the edge off. To stop his hands from shaking.

He let out a breath, cringing as it liquor burnt on it's way down.

It took him a few seconds to realize all eyes in the room were now on him.

Jim broke eye contact to look at the door and then back to Bullock.

"Oh!" He realized he'd just went from being a hostage to the 3rd wheel in a matter of moments, "Right, I'll just…" He awkwardly stammered motioning towards the door as he went.

Only pausing long enough to offer up a nod of thanks to Bird before he left.

Bird stood in place, starting at the still open door leading outside.  
The escape; and Jim wondered if she was going to sprint for it.

"What happened between you and Falcone?"  
Jim quietly asked.

Picking the gun back up from the table, Bird put the safety on and brushed past Jim on her way to where she'd left her duffel bag.

"I, uh…" She finally answered once her back to him once again, "I chose you."

Jim's brows lowered as he watched her.  
Clearly she wasn't telling him the entire story.

"So he's just leaving?"  
He tried to get her to open up more. To talk to him.  
Though at the moment he'd had settled for her at least looking at him.

"He didn't have a choice, Jim." Bird admitted as she started to drop the gun into her bag, but paused and looked over her shoulder at him with a questioning look when she saw one of her bras was laying on top of the bag.  
She knew for a fact she'd packed up all of her clothes before leaving that morning. Nothing should have been out of the bag.

"Bullock-" Jim started to explain, but Bird help up her hand to silence him and turned back to her bag.

"Thank you."  
Jim walked closer.

She started to zip up the bag but then stopped and turned around to face him.

"You thought I'd let them kill you?" She questioned.

"No." His eyes roamed over her face, "But I didn't know were you were or how much of it you even knew…"

"I knew more than you." Bird pointed out, "Like how Falcone sent Victor after you on Lee's orders. He'd left your fate up to her."

The words hit him bluntly.  
The end of a baseball bat to the stomach.

Her eyes cast down to the floor.  
She'd said it hurt him, but the intent behind it didn't make the statement any less true.

"I took care of it." Bird added as her eyes slammed shut.  
If she'd had -had a bat she'd probably have whacked herself over the head with it.

She didn't want to hurt him; which a part of her hated herself for because he'd hurt her so badly.

"What-" Jim moved closer, "What does that mean?"

"Jesus!" Bird exclaimed, her face twisting up when she looked up at him, "I didn't kill her if that's what you're asking. She's been through enough, I'm not a monster-"

"I never said that!" He was quick to defend with another step closer, "I never thought that, I-"

She backed away.

"Tell me something then." Her eyes locked with his, "Why is that when you take someone's life to save someone else -everything should be forgiven? But… me?" She tossed her arms out to the sides, "I do the very same thing and you tell me it's wrong?"

She watched as his blue eyes squinted for a fleeting moment before widening.

This wasn't just about Mario.  
The last conversation, more so a fight, they'd had was because she'd killed a man who'd been abusing his wife and daughter.

She'd been so adamant that she'd done so to save their lives.  
That she made the decision to save them.

Jim's knee jerk reaction was to defend what he'd done.  
That it had been a legit kill.  
A split second decision he'd made to save a life in danger.

But he didn't say anything.  
He didn't point out that there really is a difference between using such measures in the heat of the moment versus how she'd spent time planning to murder someone and followed through with it.

That he'd went to the cabin solely to save a life -not take one, and he'd give anything to go back and get there early enough that they could have brought Mario in and held him until a cure was found.

But he didn't.  
The truth was that he didn't really have a leg to stand on the argument and she was too hurt to hear him if he'd tried.

"No answer?" Bird jeered at his silence.

Jerking open the closet door, she knelt down and opened the safe.

Jim shook his head, "You changed my combination."

"Look at where this house is." She gathered the belongings she'd stashed in the small safe, closed the door and stood back up, "I couldn't leave important things just lying around."

Looking back to the once again sealed box that still held some of his own stuff in there, he questioned, "What'd you change it to?"

"Birthday."

"Yours?" He asked.

"Yours." Bird admitted as she got to work shoving the last of her things into the bag.

Jim pulled in a breath.  
Of course it was.

He could have spent months trying to crack the code and never once tried his own birthday.  
Bird had done that purpose, he was sure of it.

Just like she'd been hiding out in _his_ house.  
Right under his nose and the last place he'd think to look.

Sometimes she was nothing if not difficult.

From where he was standing he could see over her shoulder.  
The array of items she's locked away in the safe was a puzzle.

He saw the box containing the gun Oswald had given her, that wasn't surprising.  
It had quickly become of her most prized possessions.

There was a small globe, the scene inside was the Gotham City skyline -but instead of snow floating around in the liquid, it was glitter.  
She'd always had such an attraction to shiny things.

Jim had never seen the knick-knack before and had no idea when she'd picked it up or why she was locking it away in the safe like a valuable.  
You could buy those in mass quantity from any of the downtown gift shops.

If they were on better terms he'd have asked when she got it, but he didn't.

They had far more important things to talk about and he knew how temperamental she could be when it came to the strange items she managed to acquire.  
Any comment on them, even from just a curious standpoint sounded like a judgment to her and she'd snap back without hesitation.

So he bit his tongue, he wasn't going too comment on any of it.  
That was until he quickly recognized something else.

A rabbits foot.

"Is that mine?" Jim asked her.

"It's mine." She answered a little too quickly as she zipped her bag shut.

It wasn't.  
She'd taken it from the box of Jim's belongings he'd went looking for after Tetch had dosed them.  
When he'd hallucinated his father and remembered the signet ring that had been passed onto him.

He'd finally found the ring in a box of once important but now long forgotten items.

Jim had told her he had no idea why he'd held onto that rabbits foot key-chain for all these years. That at some point it must have been important to him, but he couldn't even remember when or where he'd gotten it.

It was less than a week later, after her returned to the GCPD that Bird went through the wooden box and took the cheaply made key-chain for herself.

A part of her had thought it was sad, that this item had once clearly been valuable to him but now didn't seem to mean anything.  
So she took it, her new-found fondness and attachment to it made it important once again and she'd kept it close ever since.

Bird slung the bag over her shoulder and tried to leave.

"Where are you going?" He asked.  
Sounding like the air had been knocked out of him.

Was she going to disappear once again?  
She always seemed to be running from something.

"Bird." He caught her hand as she tried to walk past him.  
Not rough. Not a tight enough grip to actually keep her from going; just enough to get her to pause, "Please don't leave."

Her knees locked, she almost toppled over, coming to a much more abrupt stop than she'd intended to.

She remembered one of the last times they'd been in this same house together.  
How she was trying so hard to keep him from drowning, how he was too stubborn to admit he needed help.

The ultimatum she'd given him, to either admit he wasn't okay and let her help -or she was gone.  
That she loved him but wouldn't stick around to watch him kill himself.

The memory felt so distant and so near all at once.

"I have to." Bird argued, but there wasn't a fight in her tone.  
She sounded more sad than anything. As if she had no choice in the matter.

"You don't." Jim promised, his eyes falling to where he still had her hand in his, waiting for her to pull away, "We've got to work this out. I haven't seen you in over a week. We need to talk about-"

"I need time." She said over the end of his sentence.

Jim swallowed hard, everything inside him wanted to protest her leaving again, but he knew what he'd taken form her. How badly he'd hurt her.

If she needed time away than that's what he'd give her.

"I understand." He cleared his throat, his voice had gone a little hoarse, "You can go home. I'll get my things from the house-"

"No." Bird eventually looked back at his face, "I don't want to be there. Not without you -and I can't be there with you. So the only thing that makes sense is for you to stay and I'll go."

"For how long?"  
He asked in a whisper.

It wasn't a fair question, but he asked it anyway.  
She didn't have a concrete answer to give him.

He felt her hand move, start to slide from his grip and his head dropped forward.  
He hated this, hated knowing he couldn't say or do anything to fix the damage he'd done.

But instead of pulling away, she'd readjusted her hand, intertwined her fingers with his.

His head raised up, looking at her both shocked and in question.

Bird could see him out of the corner of her eye, but she didn't turn to face him -she couldn't.  
She knew if she did that she wouldn't be able to say what she needed too.

"I'm mad at you. So mad." She breathed out with a small shake of the head, "And every time I look at you all I can think of is how you killed Mario. I look at you and… I see my brother's dead body."

He ran his tongue over his lips.  
Nothing could be said to fix that.  
Without a time machine the trauma caused couldn't be undone.

"And I feel…" Bird struggled to put what she felt into words, "Like I'm so angry… that, that… I don't know? So pissed off that I could explode from it. And that makes me dangerous, Jim."

She glanced down, feeling his grip tighten some on her hand, like there was some way to anchor her there.

God, she missed him.  
Missed him so bad that it hurt. Maybe that was why she'd ended up in this house. A way to feel closer to him still.

Her eyes closed, so tightly it took a second to regain her vision when she opened them again.

"Bird?"  
He was still having trouble getting his voice above a whisper now.  
Sounding every bit as defeated as he felt.

"It makes me dangerous." Bird repeated, finding the strength to look at him again.

Immediately wishing she hadn't.  
He was in pain.

He needed her forgiveness -and that was something she couldn't offer.  
At least not right now.

Not yet.

He was going to have to live, suffering the consequences of his actions -just like she was.

"And if it were anyone else, I'd be a risk to them." She admitted.

"But it's you-" Her voice cracked and when her eyes met his, he could see she was a loss; she was lost, "And I don't want to hurt you… which makes me a threat to myself."

 **•••**

* * *

 **A/N - Thank you all for reading. I hope you liked the chapter. ^_^**

 **Thank you to: ThatMysteriousSlime, Shadow knight1121, aleksitupper19, Raging Raven, Adela, Brooke, Katniss789, SmellYourScentForMiles, DancingDorsDay, rkooks, and to the Guests who reviewed the last chapter.**  
 **I appreciate the support and feedback more than you'll ever know!  
**

 **HAPPY HOLIDAYS!**


	22. The Awakening

**XXII - The Awakening**

" _I think you can love a person too much. You put someone up on a pedestal, and all of a sudden, from that perspective, you notice what's wrong - a hair out of place, a run in a stocking, a broken bone. You spend all your time and energy making it right, and all the while, you are falling apart yourself. You don't even realize what you look like, how far you've deteriorated, because you only have eyes for someone else." - Jodi Picoult_

* * *

 **•••**

"Good evening, Miss Wayne."  
The concierge at the hotel Bird had been staying at for the past few days greeted her with a tip of his hat.

"Evening." Bird politely replied with a feeble attempt at a smile.

The first few days she'd been staying at the luxury hotel she'd barely left her suite, but now she'd been making an attempt at getting some normality back in her life.

She'd had lunch with Oswald earlier in the day and had gone out to a late dinner by herself that night.  
A dinner which she was currently returning from.

Her brisk pace slowed when she saw a cleaning crew hard at work in a cordoned off area just by the elevators.

Before she even had a chance to ask what had happened, the hotel employee let out a burdened sigh, "Hooligans."

When her only response was an arched brow, be continued to explain, "Some kids must have got into the lobby while I stepped out for a smoke earlier. Graffiti-ed the wall."

"Ah." Bird barely glanced back at him before starting for the elevators to return to the quiet of her room.

"What an eyesore."  
She heard him mumble under his breath as she walked away.

As Bird stepped onto the elevator she only caught a glimpse of the rough painting on the wall. A large pair of eyes, pointed at the top edges with a smile constructed of the word 'HAHA' repeating up into a curve.

Several minutes later she'd shed the clothes, make up and hair up-do that she'd donned for the night.  
Trying to keep up appearances on the outside to conceal the mess inside was exhausting.

Fake it till you make it, she'd told herself.  
Hoping that if she acted like she was okay and looked fine then maybe one day she'd mean it.

But now here she sat, alone in her hotel suite -dressed for bed with her face scrubbed clean and her hair down in a frizzy mess. And the truth was she felt more like herself than she had all day.

She'd just started to feel like there was room to breath when her phone range.  
Her stomach clenched in a knee jerk reaction.

She couldn't think of a single person she wanted to talk to.

Bird knew it was more than likely her brother calling her.  
Apparently Selina's mother had shown up back up to get into her daughter's good graces -but it had all been a con game to try and extort money from Bruce.

When Selina found out she'd been absolutely crushed, but it had only deepened the blow to find out that Bruce had suspected it was a con all along and didn't tell her.

Now Selina was pissed and not talking to him.

It was a few days prior Bird had listened to Bruce tell the story, followed with an endless list of reasons why he'd made the choices he did.

He wanted to protect her, he didn't want to see her get hurt… etc.

Usually when Bruce was upset, Bird would drop anything and everything to come to his aid and try and help but not this time.

She wasn't sure if it was because she found herself siding with Selina on this one -or that she just didn't currently posses the emotional capacity to be there for someone else when she felt her own life was in shambles.

She'd spaced out on some point during the phone call, wondering if Bruce had any idea how trivial his problem sounded compared to the fact that she'd watched her biological half-brother die not all that long ago.

A part of her was traumatized from it still and she'd had a brief flare of rage at her little brother for not thinking of that and hung up the phone on him.  
Only to sit there for the next several minutes feeling like crap for doing so.

How could she expect him to know how much damage Mario's death had done to her when she wouldn't talk about it -or couldn't talk about it, she didn't know the difference anymore.

Either way, she couldn't find the strength to call him or back and had since been ignoring both Bruce and Alfred's calls.

When she picked her phone up from the coffee table she saw it was Jim calling her.

Bird held her breath and stared at the small display on the phone.  
She'd told him she needed time that she needed space and so far he'd respected that.

Her stomach clenched, what if something was wrong?

Without thinking it over again, she flipped the phone open and placed it to her ear, "Hello?"

She was met silence. Her heart sped up and she scooted forward on the chair she was sitting on, "Jim?"

"Hey-" He stammered, nearly choking on the drink of beer he'd taken right as she answered. He'd expected the call to be sent to voicemail.

"Hey?" Bird repeated back to him. Sinking back into her seat some.

"I, uh…" Jim breathed setting the bottle down with a clank on the coffee table, "Sorry, I didn't think you'd pick up."

The conversation fell of a cliff into awkward silence.

Both of them holding onto their phones with a near white-knuckled grip and waiting for the other to say something.  
Say anything.

With the lack of talking they could both hear the TV's softly playing in each others background.  
They were watching to same channel.

Bird smiled to herself and Jim let out an amused breath before he grabbed the remote and muted the TV, but she left hers playing.

"How are you?" Jim broke the silence first.

The smile fell from her lips and she lied, "I'm kind of in the middle something. Are you just calling to catch up or did you need something-"

"I'm calling for a reason."  
He quickly answered, hoping to get the sentence out before she hung up.

Bird glanced around, unable to locate the remote she stood and crossed the room, shutting the TV off and making her way over to the mini bar.

She wasn't sure exactly what was going on, but she had a feeling she would need some help to make it through the phone call.

"I know you said you wanted some time…" His voice trailed off.

She didn't say anything.

"But the case I'm working-" He decided to skip over the details and get to the point, "It looks like Jerome's following is growing -or at least organizing now.

"Organizing for what?" Bird questioned.

"Not sure." He admitted.

She decided to skip the drink as she listened to him explain how they'd followed a man who worked at the local morgue to an abandoned, run down building where the cult was dressed in various attire and make-up.

Watching the same news footage over and over again.  
Repeating every word along with Jerome like it were scripture.

"Jerome has been dead for quite a while now." Bird glanced up to the ceiling with annoyance, "I don't understand why the cult just keeps growing."

"Me either." Jim agreed with a nod even though she couldn't see him.

"But, I wanted to give you a heads up so you'd know to be careful." He explained.

"I get stabbed on live TV one time and suddenly there's a cult obsessed with me."  
She bit down on her bottom lip and held in a laugh.

The attempt at a joke was wasted on Jim who didn't find it the least bit amusing.

"It was a joke-" She tried to defend, but Jim cut her off, "It's not funny."

Before she could say anything else he added, "And yes, they are just as fascinated with you as Jerome was -and now there's been a renewed interest with him and-"

"I'll be careful."  
Bird interrupted, feeling like she'd been scolded.

Her mind flashed back to the graffiti in the hotel lobby.

"Where are you staying?" Jim questioned.

"Jim-"

"I know." He already knew exactly what she was going to say next, "Bird, I know you're more than capable of watching out for yourself."

When he knew she was listening he continued, "But there were a lot of people at that gathering today and more than likely that's just the tip of the iceberg."

"And you'd feel better if I just came back home, right?" She questioned.  
She'd had a feeling that was where the conversation was headed.

"Frankly, yes." He admitted, "But… if that's not an option then we can at least put a patrol car on watch wherever you're staying."

Bird laughed. That was the most hilarious thing she'd heard in a while.  
"Jim, you know I hate cops."

"Eventually, I'm going to take offense to that."  
He didn't miss a beat.

Damn him, she shook her head, smiling even though she didn't want too.

Jim quietly chuckled and then the air between them fell back into silence.

He picked the beer bottle back up from the table and took a long drink before admitting, "I miss you."

Bird rubbed her forehead as she confessed, "I miss you too."

"Then come home."

He made it sound so easy. So simple.

"I can't." Bird argued, "We can't just snap back into place."

"I know that." He urged, "But we can't get through this with you staying gone."

The silence took over again, only this time it felt heavy. Suffocating and thick.

"That is what you want, right?" He asked.  
It was putting her on the spot and he knew that wasn't fair, but he had to know.

"I love you, Jim."  
Bird's voice was barely above a whisper.

"That's not what I asked."  
He pointed out, but his tone was defeated.  
Like she'd kicked him when he was already down.

"I can't talk about this right now." Bird said, "I have to be up early tomorrow for an interview-"

"An interview?" Jim repeated.

"Oswald is thinking about taking his campaign national and we've got an interview with Margaret Hearst tomorrow." She explained, then quickly said, "Goodnight, Jim."

With that she ended the call before things could get worse.

She guessed they'd either have gotten into a fight over Oswald being a criminal and holding a political office.  
Or even worse, that he'd keep trying to convince her to come home.

Something that she wanted to do but wasn't ready to.  
She'd opened up the last time she'd seen him, explained how being mad at him made her dangerous to herself, but it was more than that.

She'd gotten back to a point where she didn't trust herself.  
Going from feeling at peace one minute and like she wanted to kill someone the next.

It came in waves.

The feelings of loss and then red rage.

So for now she was distancing herself for everyone's good.  
It was temporary or at least that's what she told herself.

That she just needed some time alone to sort herself out.

Laying the closed flip-phone down on the oversized vanity in the hotel suite, Bird looked at her reflection in the mirror.

"Just have to get through tomorrow."  
She spoke out loud to her reflection.

Oswald had practically begged her to do the interview with him.  
Over lunch he'd gone on-and-on about how he needed her at his side.

How she was his very best and truest friend and even went so far to acknowledge how he'd never have been elected Mayor without both her help and public support of his campaign.

She'd been hesitant at first, after all Hearst was a no-holds-barred type of reporter and that made her nervous considering both she and Oswald had plenty of things to keep hidden from the public eye.

But she'd finally agreed, deciding it could be a win/win situation.

Oswald needed her there and she was going to have to make a very public reappearance eventually.  
Rumors and gossip were still swirling through the city about her disappearance after Mario's death.

If she could just put on a smile and make nice for the interview then the city would see she was holding up strong after what she'd gone through.  
And maybe if everyone else believed it, she could too.

 **••• The Following Day •••**

Bird smiled widely at herself in the mirror above the sink, checking her freshly brushed teeth over before she tucked the travel toothbrush and toothpaste back into her bag.

She'd arrived at City Hall early that morning in a pair of her most comfortable jeans, boots and a loose fitting t-shirt.

She didn't see a point in getting all dressed up hours before the interview was set to start.

To her dismay, her best friend, who'd stressed they'd needed to be there hours before Hearst arrived hadn't shown up yet.

However, she did get to meet Tarquin, Oswald's new Chief of Staff in Nygma's absence.  
It was his birthday and she'd joined in on the party they'd threw for him there.

Even snagging a piece of cake for breakfast and making conversation with a few people on the staff she'd grown familiar with.

She might even dare to say she had fun.  
But it was short lived.

Shortly after the party the building came to life, buzzing from the stress of the upcoming interview.  
The future of Oswald's political career was riding on this one-hour live interview and she had a personal stake in it as well.

So she'd disappeared into they Mayor's office, using the attached private bathroom to change into her dress and heels, brush her teeth and do her make up and hair.

Walking back out into the rest of the office she sighed at seeing there was still no sign of her best friend.

With a groan, she dropped the bag with her comfortable clothes onto the desk and took a deep breath before stepping out of the office.

"Miss Wayne!"

Bird stared wide-eyed, a deer frozen by the headlights as she was caught off guard by Margaret Hearst.

"Or should I call you Bird?" The older woman stepped closer, "Bird and Penguin, right?"

"Excuse me?" Bird stammered.

"Wow." Margaret surveyed the seemingly well put together woman in front of her and commented, "Look at you… you are even more stunning in person."

Bird's brows lowered, "I would thank you for the compliment… but I get the feeling you didn't intend it that way."

"Merely an observation!" Margaret smiled as she clasped her hands and added, "It's easy to see why Gotham loves you. Most people tend to take beauty as face value. If you're this beautiful on the outside you must be as equally beautiful on the inside."

Bird hadn't even fully processed what she was saying before she continued, "But I intend to dig deeper. To expose you and the mayor for exactly who you are."

"And what do you think we are?" Bird pushed.

Margaret looked at her.  
When she'd been negotiating the terms with Oswald for the interview she had first shot down the idea of his assistance for a joint interview.  
After all, he'd wanted do the interview pre-filmed at his house and she'd insisted it be filmed live at City Hall.

But after he'd said he wanted his best friend, Staring Wayne there, Margaret couldn't turn down the opportunity to drag them both out into the unforgiving light of day.

Being a reporter, it was her job to get down to the truth and no let personal bias get in the way.  
But they were both guilty as sin and she knew it.

They'd both been charged and convicted with murder in the past, both arrested multiple times, both had served time in Arkham Asylum -and both had lost family members under questionable and violent circumstances.

Without an answer, Margaret gave her another smile before she left.

Once she was alone, Bird dropped her head back and stared up at the ceiling, trying to steady her breathing.

She knew the day wasn't going to be a walk in the park, but she'd been prepared for a tough interview -not a hit job.

It wasn't just a news interview that she and Oswald were about to walk into -it was a live interrogation being broadcast to every home in Gotham.

The last time she'd been on a live broadcast had been the Children's Hospital Benefit Gala.  
All she could do at this point was hope today would be better than that was.

Bird scurried around for a while trying to find Oswald, but he wasn't anywhere to be found and also wasn't taking her calls,

She found Tarquin Stemmel's office and gave a quick knock before opening the door and walking inside. Hoping that Oswald had at least touched base with his Chief of Staff that morning.

"Bird!" Oswald barely managed to squeak out.  
The gold trophy he'd just bludgeoned Tarquin to death with fell from his hand and landed in the pool of blood on the floor.

Quickly slamming the door shut behind her, Bird spun back around to face Oswald, who was still straddling Tarquin's lifeless body on the floor.

"What the hell did you do?!" She whisper-yelled at him.

Oswald scrambled to his feet, trying to avoid stepping on any of the blood as he tried to explain that he'd had to kill him.

That his father's ghost had appeared to him the night before with a warning not to trust the birthday boy.  
A omen that didn't seem to make any sense until he got to the office that morning to find out it was his Chief of Staff's birthday.

Then he'd snuck into his office and found a bag containing Elijah's decomposed remains.  
The police had knocked on his door in the middle of the night to tell him his father's grave had been robbed.

Bird stared at him in disbelief and shock.  
His frantic ramblings didn't make a bit of sense. He sounded out of mind and looked the part as well.

"Oswald!" Bird yelled to quiet him.  
To stall the noise in her own head.

"I had to do it, Bird!" He continued to dry and defend.

"Shut up!" She yelled.  
Tarquin's death wasn't the most pressing matter.

"You have to pull yourself together, do you understand me?"

"But-" Oswald nearly howled.

"Damn it!" Bird yelled, reaching out to grab onto his suit jacket and pull him closer to drive the point home, "Listen to me."

Her face was just inches away from his, if even that far.  
His nose was overwhelmed by the mint on her breath from the toothpaste she'd used minutes before.

"Pull yourself together." Bird hissed, still holding him in place with an iron clad grip he didn't have a chance in hell of breaking free from, "We are going on live TV in less than ten minutes and that woman hates us both."

Trying to catch his breath, Oswald frantically nodded along with what she was saying.

"She's going to try and bury us. To turn the city against us." She was staring wide-eyed as spoke, "Do you understand?"

"Yes." He swallowed hard. Trying to center himself.

"So we have to go out there and be all smiles and charm." Bird continued.

"Okay." He agreed.

"We're going to radiate warmth and kindness, got it?" She still wouldn't let go of him, "Now wipe that blood off and act like you didn't just cave in the skull of your employee because we need to make the city love us, okay?"

"Yes." Oswald nodded.

This was possibly the most confrontational and terrifying pep-talk he'd ever gotten, but somehow it was doing the trick.

He couldn't feel his blood rushing under his skin anymore.  
The panic he'd been in just seconds before was completely gone.

When she was sure he was back in control, Bird let go of his suit and took a step back away from him.

"What about him?" Oswald asked, motioning with a hand to the dead body on the floor for a second before he started to adjust his tie and straighten out the wrinkles she'd caused his clothes.

"There's no time." Bird observed the mess, "We'll have to deal with this after the fact."

"I've got a key." Oswald remembered the various keys he had to offices in the building, "We'll lock the office up and come back after-"

"Mr. Stemmel?" A female voice accompanied the knock on the office door.

Bird cupped her hand over Oswald's mouth to silence the gasp he'd let out.  
They stared at each other wide-eyed.

"Mr. Stemmel?"

Oswald stepped away from Bird and stared at the office door, his eyes tunnel vision focused on the door knob.

Bird reached over and pickled up another trophy off Tarquin's desk and adjusted her grip.  
If anyone came in that room, they'd have to silence them too.

"Have you seen the Mayor?"

Finally the woman let out an annoyed sigh and they heard the clicks of her heels on the floor descended.

Bird and Oswald both let out a sigh of relief and he looked over just in time to see her return the trophy to the desk.

A smile crept across his lips.  
Just like old times, he thought, she still had his back no matter what.

"What?" Bird whispered when she realized Oswald was just standing in place grinning at her.

"I've missed you, Bird." Oswald whispered back.

 **•••**

"Where are they!?" Margaret Hearst complained, checking her watch once again.

"Ma'am-" One of Oswald's city hall staff stammered nervously as he swatted away the sweat beading above his brows, "We're still trying to locate-"

"They're here!"  
A voice rang out from the back of the room.

"There they are!"  
Someone else echoed.

Bird and Oswald both stumbled to a stop in the middle of the rush to make it to the interview on time.  
They'd halted so fast that Oswald's new shoes screeched against the recently polished floor.

Bird did her best to smile and brushed the hair from her face.

"Sorry I'm late!" Oswald called out with a nervous laugh, "…Mayor stuff-" He added.

Margaret shook her head in disbelief, her every feature now pointed with something verging on disgust.

Oswald pretended not to notice and moved closer to the open chairs awaiting his and Bird's arrival.  
But his best friend wasn't keeping the pace.

A nauseous feeling was rising in her stomach, immediately she regretted the birthday cake she'd eaten earlier in the morning.

This was far from the first interview she'd done in her life, but everything about this already felt wrong.

It was airing live, so she couldn't miss a beat.  
Every word she said would be analyzed, every change in her expression interpreted.

The lighting has harsh, pointed more so at the chairs designated for them than at their interviewer.

An interrogation.  
The room felt cold and like no one there was on her side.

"Oswald!" She whispered in a hiss, her hand reaching out for his sleeve to stop him.  
This was a bad idea. A terrible idea.

There was a dead body locked in an office not far from them.  
She couldn't deny she hadn't been in the best state of mind lately and her friend was heartbroken over Edward Nygma and convinced his dead father was haunting him.

All of the confidence she'd felt moments before dissipated into thin air.

Agreeing to this interview was a mistake.

Suddenly there was a pair of hands on her arms and she was being led to the leather seat next to where Oswald was sitting.

She wanted to turn and run the other way -but that wasn't an option.

By the time she'd been seated for the interview a buzzing had started in ears.  
Someone was clipping a microphone onto her dress but she was barely aware of the hovering presence.

"I hope you're ready, Mr. Mayor." Margaret watched him closely, "The world is watching."

Oswald snatched the microphone away from the staff member trying to wire him and tried to push down his anxiety as he attached it to his own clothes,

He looked over at Bird for one last reassurance and regretted the move.  
She looked scared.

Deer caught in the headlights stare, white-knuckled grip on the arm rests of her chair.  
Like she could jump out of her skin at any minute.

"Bird!" He reached out to nudge her arm, but stopped when he caught sight of blood on the white cuff of his button up shirt.

" _ **And we're live in…3…2…1"**_

Bird's mind was a million miles away as the cameras started to roll.

The more she tried to focus on the conversation topics the further she was pulled from the room.

What an odd feeling it was to be somewhat aware that she was starting to dissociate; but not having any power to stop it.

She shifted in her seat, nervously patted down a wrinkle in her dress.  
She was suddenly overly aware of the shine her forehead gave in harsh lighting, how the left side of her hair had taken on some frizz from the dryness of the cold in the air outside.

What if she said the wrong thing?  
What if she smiled too much -or even worse, didn't smile enough?

It didn't take much for public opinion to sway one way or the other.  
One day they city loves you and the next they want to see you burn.

She closed her eyes and tried to pull in breath.  
Why did she even care?

When had she ever really cared about any of that?

Her heart picked up speed.

She cared now because the more she got thrust into the public eye, the more scrutiny she faced.

But it wasn't just her anymore, it reflected on everything and everyone else in her life too.

If the city stopped loving her than donations for the shelters she ran would go down.  
Everything she'd put so much time and effort into would suffer.

Her mind flashed back months prior, when she'd been visiting Jim at work and found out some of the guys on the force gave him a hard time about his relationship with Bird.

If she did poorly in this interview; if Margaret got her way and painted Oswald and Bird in a bad light like she wanted and intended to do, than this would also reflect badly back on Jim.

And suddenly she couldn't stop her mind from racing.  
Bird felt a laugh at the back of her throat; she, who usually avoided talk about the future at all costs found herself wondering how high up in law enforcement Jim planned on going.

Caption? Police commissioner?  
He couldn't be the police commissioner with a known criminal as his wife -especially if the city hated her.

Wife?  
Bird lurched forward in her seat some.

What the hell was happening to her, she wondered.  
Jim had made it clear he wanted a future with her; a family, but she'd backed away from it.

It felt like the hands of time were spinning so fast they could catch fire at any second.  
Everything was spiraling out of control and she felt like she was free-falling through space and time.

" _Everything has to be perfect…_ "  
She could hear her mother's voice echoing in her head.  
So strange was the sound now that her parents had been dead for over two years.

Her mind flashed back again, by years this time, to one of the first times she'd really been in the public eye.

She was still a kid, Bruce couldn't have been more than year old and her parents were trying to gain support for opening up a new community center.  
One of the new stations in town had done a short segment on it, Bird couldn't remember much of what happened.

Mainly that she hated the dress her mom had made her wear and being scolded when she couldn't sit still long enough for her hair to done.

She remembered complaining that she didn't want to do any of this and her mom telling her that she had to.  
That she had to wear the uncomfortable dress and let them put hairspray in her hair even though the fumes choked her; that they were going on camera and everything had to be perfect.  
She had to be perfect.

"Bird!"

She was forcefully pulled from her panic by a sharp sting on her arm.  
Bird looked down to see a red welt starting to form.

Oswald was staring at her wide-eyed, expectantly.  
It was then she realized that he'd pinched her to get her attention.

She had no idea how much of the interview she'd missed or what had been said.

Perfect.  
There was that word again, rattling around like chains in her head.

She wanted out of the dress she was wearing, wanted to throw her heels across the room and shake her hair loose.  
Hell, in all honesty she wanted to get up and throw the chair she was sitting in across the room.  
Destroy all of the media equipment around them and mow down anyone who tried to stop her.

Mainly she wanted to feel free again.  
She couldn't remember a time when she felt more caged; even when she'd been locked up.

She swallowed hard, tried to appear relaxed but keep her posture straight.  
With a smile spread over her lips, Bird let out a small laugh, "I'm sorry."  
Looking between Oswald and Margaret, she gestured, "You were saying?"

"You were friends with the Mayor long before he'd been elected?"  
Margaret focused on Bird.

"Yes." She nodded.

"You've been by his side this entire time?" Her eyes narrowed some, "You've seen him go from humble errand boy, to kitchen worker to the so-called King of Gotham?"

"Of course." Bird smiled wider, "He's my best friend and I couldn't be more proud of Oswald and all he's achieved."

"That's nice." Margaret commented under her breath, "And you, Bird… you've came quite a long ways as well. You might have came from one of Gotham's wealthiest families but you spent years working in a bar, is that right?"

Bird adjusted some in her seat, tried to release some of the tension she was holding in her muscles and smiled as she asked, "I'm sorry, are you insinuating there is something wrong with that?"

She contained the smile toying at her lips. Margaret had walked right into that, phrasing a question as if there was something wrong with that. It would offend many viewers.

Margaret's eyes widened for a split-second before she smoothly back tracked, "No. Of course not. Simply pointing out how quickly you seem to have went from working in a bar to being named the Director of Community Outreach at Wayne Enterprises rather quickly."

"Yes!" Oswald's tone in a snap. He reached out and patted Bird's arm, "She's doing great work."

"Hmm…" Margaret smiled but it lacked the friendliness one would expect of the gesture.

"Looking back over the past several years, it seems like many people have died so that the both of you could rise to where you're seated today."  
Her words were sharp. Precise.

"An exaggeration." Bird tried to dismiss and Oswald pointed out, "People love to invent scandal."

"But it was murder that sent you both to Arkham, was it not?" She pushed.

"I was acquitted of all charges." Bird's posture stiffened again, "I was framed-"

"I rescued the city from the madman Theo Galavan." Oswald had started in on his own defense before Bird had finished with hers, "Some call it murder and others?" He shrugged, "A public service."

"Arkham is a prison for the criminally insane." Margaret looked between them, "You both must still face backlash from the sentences served in such a place, no?"

"Bird." Margaret focused back on her for the time being, "At the time you got sentenced to Arkham Asylum, you were engaged to Harvey Dent? One of Gotham's ADA's-"

"I hardly see the relevance of that-" She tried to cut in.

"Simply pointing out that some people might be under the impression that very relationship helped you evade further prosecution." She stared the younger woman down.

"The. Charges. Were. Dropped." Bird repeated each word like it's own sentence.

"By the District Attorneys Office." Margaret's eyebrows raised.

Bird bit down on her tongue.  
There was no way to win this.

If she reacted too strongly she'd be a bitch; if she didn't have strong enough reaction than people would wonder if it were true.

"That's irrelevant." Oswald cut in; tried to defend her when she failed to say anything for herself.

"And rumor has it that you were instrumental in GCPD's Detective James Gordon's escape from Blackgate." Her tone was solid, her eyes diverted to the camera lens as if she was speaking to each person watching on TV individually, "He was serving a then life sentence for the murder of a fellow police officer."

"Jim was innocent!"  
She'd snapped before she could stop herself.

Margaret settled back into her chair with a satisfied smile on her face.  
When it came to Bird she had an endless amount of ammunition to use against her from her own criminal record, to her ties with the Falcone Crime Family, even the death of her biological mother that had been ruled a suicide.

There was so much she could throw at her, but all it took was the mention of one James Gordon to set her off.

"He was framed for that crime." Bird tried to calm herself down but she could feel her head starting to pound every time her heart beat to push blood through her body.

"By Edward Nygma." Margaret nodded, "Who also spent time time in Arkham and is now your-" She motioned to Oswald, "Chief of Staff."

Oswald's face twisted, the rage in his eyes looked nearly inhuman for a fleeting second.

Margaret's brow raised with intrigue. If her camera people were doing their jobs right then they'd be panning over Oswald's and Bird's faces.

Unflattering close ups that would surely show just how unhinged they both looked.

"Unemployment is at an all time low in Gotham." Oswald tried in desperation to change the subject of the conversation.

"You met your father, didn't you?" Margaret focused back on Oswald, "Elijah Van Dahl, a man who's identity your mother kept from you."

Bird looked over at her best friend to see his face had drained of all color.  
He was white as a ghost.

"Oh my god…" He barely managed to breathe out.  
Oswald looked at the back of the room to see his father walking behind the security. Moving around undetected by anyone else with a blood stained trophy in his hands.

"Yes, it must have been very upsetting." Margaret agreed, "He also died under suspicious circumstances. His wife and step-children disappearing soon after."

"I have to go!" Oswald gripped onto the arms of his chair, looking around to see if anyone else was seeing Elijah.

"Why?" She pushed, "Is it because there's substance to the rumors that you killed to inherit your father's wealth?"

"Father….father, father…" Oswald mumbled incoherent, unaware that Bird was patting his arm in an attempt to get his attention, "Father… wait!"

When he saw the apparition of his father leaving, he jumped to his feet, knocking the glass of water near him to the floor where it shattered and a loud gasp went through the room.

Bird was on her feet just as fast, "Oswald, are you okay?"

"Did you see him?" Oswald leaned in and whispered, his fingers fumbling to undo the microphone clipped to him.

"See who?" Bird asked but didn't get a response.

"I need go." Oswald repeated.

"The people of America; the people of Gotham deserve to know the truth!" Margaret's voice raised.

"To hell with the people!" He practically spat before he limped off in the direction he'd seen his father go in,

Bird stared in shock as her best friend hobbled away.

This was it, she thought, the end of his political career -the end of any public support in his favor and possibly her own as well.

Her movements were frantic as she looked between where Margaret was still seated and to where Oswald had left.

The smart thing to do would be to sit back down, calmly finish the interview and try to save as much face as possible after this disaster.  
Though she wasn't sure there was anything she could say to rectify any of the damage that had been done.

They'd just have to live through the fallout of what happened that day on live TV.

Together, she thought to herself, she and Oswald had gotten through worse before and they'd get through this too.

"Screw it."  
She mumbled to herself as she jerked the microphone from her own clothes and took off after him.

By the time she caught up with him, he was half-way down the front entrance stairs of city hall.  
Standing in place but spinning in circles and out of breath.

Before racing outside he'd ran back to Tarquin Stemmel's office to make sure the body and murder weapon were still there; but the room was spotless.  
No body, no weapon -his father's remains were even gone.

"Oswald!" Bird grabbed onto his arms to steady him and hold him in place, "Are you okay?"

He stared at her, his eyes wide in terror. He wanted to tell her about Tarquin's body disappearing, explain the horror he was feeling at seeing his father's ghost outside of the family mansion now -but none of it would come out.

"What the hell was that?" She yelled, motioning to the building behind them, "They city hates you now… they're going to hate me-"

"My father!" Oswald finally managed to breathe, "He was there… he… was… he. I saw him in there."

It sounded like nonsense. Jumbled words in a clumsy excuse.

"Oh my god." Bird dropped her head forward, "Are you kidding me? You stormed out of a live interview because you think you saw your Dad's ghost again? Do you have any idea how much harm you've caused the both of us? Do you even remember what you said? To hell with the people"

"Yes!" He nothing short of hissed, "Screw them all!"

Bird stepped forward, forcefully grabbed onto one of the open sides of his suit jacket when he looked like he was about to walk away from her.

"Do you have any idea the damage you've just done?" Bird whisper-yelled, her face inches away from his, "I did this-" She motioned back to the building, "All of this for you and-"

"For me?" Oswald stammered, his fingers ridden cold from the shock he'd just gone through curled around her wrist when she wouldn't let go of him, "You did this for yourself, Bird."

He hurled the accusation at her.  
Pointing out that she'd only agreed to this to seize the opportunity of making a grand reappearance in the public eye for herself.

Bird's hand clenched into a fist down at her side from her free hand as he spoke and didn't back down.  
Spitting out his version of the truth.  
His breath like a heavy fog on her face.

She wanted to hurt him.  
A rage was building back up inside of her, much like the one that had ended with her drawing blood after stabbing a fork through his hand the last time their arguments had came to blows.  
A fight that ended with a knife being pressed to her neck.

She could have hit him, punched him right in the face or even thrown him down the stairs they were standing on.

But the longer she looked at him the more the violent urges faded into something else.  
Into a sadness.  
Grief. Loss.

Bird let go of him and took a step back.  
Her movements so sudden. Recoiling like she'd been stung had caught Oswald off guard.  
He'd still been yelling angrily at her.

His thoughts scattered like broken glass.  
What was the last thing he'd said to her, he tried to remember, surely it hadn't hurt her that badly.

"Bird?" He'd started to ask.  
Though in truth he was only mildly invested in their altercation.  
They'd straighten it out later. They always did.

His eyes darted around then, trying to catch another sight of his father's ghost, but he'd seemed to have disappeared with the wind.

"We use other people. We hurt and lie to others, but we don't do that to each other."  
Bird said.

"What?" Oswald's eyes drifted back to Bird.

"We used to say that all the time, remember?" She questioned, not sure if her words were audible or not. Her tongue felt swollen. A feeling of numbness setting in like she'd been injected with Novocain, "Back when we-"

"Yes, I remember!" He tossed his arms up with annoyance, "What does that have to do with anything now?"

He'd cut her off before she got a chance to finish the sentence. He may not have wondered what she was going to say next, but she did.  
Back when they were going to overthrow Falcone. Back when they always gravitated towards each other. When things seemed so uncomplicated. Before they'd let other people between them.

Back when they were friend. Real friends.

"Nothing." Bird inhaled so fast she nearly choked on the air, "I guess that's the problem, huh?"

If he'd been more invested in what was going on in that moment in time maybe he'd have felt her slipping away.  
The earth opening up between where they were standing, forcing them away from one another.

She looked almost dazed when his eyes landed back on her; lost in every sense of the world.

"What?" He stomped his foot down against the cement steps.

Oswald didn't have time for this. Not right now.  
He needed to focus on fixing the rift between himself and Nygma.  
Get him back after admitting his feelings for him hadn't gone as planned.

As far as he was concerned, Bird would be there when the dust had settled.  
She always had been.

What he was blinded to was the realization she was having under the surface.

'Things are either really good between us or really bad'  
That was how she'd described her relationship with Harvey Dent, but somehow she hadn't realized how fitting that had been for the entirety of her friendship with Oswald.

She'd ended things with Harvey, albeit not nearly soon enough.

She'd even left Gotham, left Jim when she realized if she stayed they'd just be pulled under the tide together.

So what was it about Oswald?  
Why was that the spell she couldn't break that kept her stuck in an endless cycle of hurting him and being hurt herself?

Her mind drifted to one of the last times she'd spent an afternoon with Ivy.  
The redhead bad been tending to plants, mainly a small tree that Ivy had told Bird the name of but she couldn't remember it now.

" _Isn't that going to kill it?"_  
 _Bird questioned as she saw Ivy trim part of it off with scissors._

" _No!" Ivy laughed, not looking up while she pruned the plant, "I'm saving it. Getting rid of the bad parts so it can grow stronger."_

When she came back to the present, she stared at Oswald who'd been watching her for the last minute trying to figure out what was going on.

"I can't do this with you anymore."  
Bird's head titled to the left.

He mumbled something about calling her later under his breath as he started to walk away.

She gathered from his reaction that he didn't understand.

"I mean it." She called after him, "We're done."

He stopped and turned back to face her.  
His nose wrinkling as he sniffled in the cold air.

"What are you talking about?"  
There was still a heightened level of irritation in his voice.  
She always had to make everything about her and he just couldn't deal with that right now.

"I mean I'm done." Bird clarified, "For real this time. For good. You and me, we're over."

His eyes narrowed at her.  
"This old song and dance… again?" Oswald complained.  
Typical Bird, he thought to himself, threatening the nuclear option when something in his life took precedence over her.

Oswald stormed back towards the building. He needed to check Tarquin's office again and then find Nygma.  
He just hadn't felt the same since he'd left.

Straightening her posture, Bird pushed a hand to the center of her chest where it hurt.  
Not an ache; but a sharp pain.

A snap like bone under pressure that finally gave way.

She waited until she was sure she wouldn't cross paths with Oswald in the hallway before she headed inside of the building too.

She needed to change out of the clothes she'd worn for the interview, shed the image she'd put together like a snake sheds it's skin.

 **•••**

Bird stood with her arms crossed over her chest, leaned back against the desk that was off center in the room.  
Now back in her comfortable clothes, she watched the two men who were on the floor with their hands zip tied behind their backs.

Bound with the very same zip ties they'd planned to use on her.

One of the men was muttering to himself about how someone named Dwight wasn't going to be happy about this.

The other was just staring at Bird; his eyes wide, entirely focused on her; like he'd just witnessed a miracle.

She looked them over.  
One of them had dark make-up smeared and spread all around his eyes. His hair was an elaborate mess.

The other had clown make up covering only the right side of his face.  
But the painted on features were too exaggerated; looking more like something out of a horror movie.  
Then again she'd never been a fan of clowns anyways.

Feeling the ever present gaze of the other on her, she looked back to the one staring.

"I can't believe it's actually you." He practically gushed, "Really you. Right here in front of me."

Tilting his head to the side he rubbed his bruised cheek against his shoulder, he could still feel the impact from the blow she'd landed in the struggle.

Dwight had only sent two of them to grab Bird; thinking two against one would get the job done.  
But they were novices against an experienced fighter and hadn't stood a chance.

"Hey…" He practically cooed, his eyes growing abnormally wide and causing his face to look very alien, "Can I see them? The scars _he_ gave you?"

Bird's hand clenched into a fist at her side and the reaction wasn't lost on Jerome's acolyte started to bounce excitedly where he was sitting and encouraged, "Yeah! Hit me! Again!"

Her face scrunched up as she studied him.

Bird uncurled her fingers from her palm and rather than colliding with her attackers face, she raised both hands to her own face and let out a muffled scream of frustration.

With the company she kept in Gotham, especially in her teens and very early twenties; she'd always thought herself good at handling crazy.  
Even had a oddly placed bit of pride in it; but Jerome's followers with the kind of crazy that just left her baffled.

"Bird?"  
She heard Jim's voice followed by a soft knock on the door of the room.

"Finally."  
She breathed as she quickly went and pulled the door open just enough to see who he'd brought with him.

"Hey." His forehead was already lined with concern, "You okay?"

"Yeah." She breathed, her eyes locking with his before she stepped to the side and ushered Jim and Bullock into the room.

Bullock looked to the two men Bird had brought down. Sitting with their hands zip-tied behind their backs.  
Prepackaged and ready for arrest. All that was missing as shiny bow on top.

"Thanks for doing half the job." He chimed in.

But Jim was still watching Bird.  
It had been a while since they'd seen each other face-to-face.  
In fact, the first glimpse he'd gotten of her since her screaming at him in the ally behind the GCPD was on TV for the live interview she'd done earlier that day.

He couldn't deny how surprised he'd been when his phone rang and it was her.  
Though the surprise quickly turned to worry when she told him she was calling because two men, who she suspected to be part of the Jerome's cult had tried to abduct her.

"James Gordon?"  
The talkative follower gasped, "The James Gordon… WOW!"

Jim's attention was pulled away from Bird as he stared at the zip-tied man with a dumbfounded look on his face and Bird shook her head.  
This guy was a complete lunatic.

"It's so cool I'm meeting you!" He continued, his eyes moving rapidly between where Bird was standing and back to Jim.

That was until he focused solely back on Bird, the target they were supposed to bring back to bear witness to the night of the awakening.

Not caring for the way the formerly talkative man had gone radio silent while staring at Bird, Jim took a step closer to her.

Another reaction the man didn't miss.  
Who burst out into a laugh.  
Eerily familiar of Jerome's -as it should have been, considering how long he'd worked to perfect the sound.  
Laughed until his cheeks would ache and his throat burned raw.

"What?" Bullock yelled at him, "What's so funny?"

But the man couldn't answer while lost in the throes of the absurd fit of laughter.  
Bird and Jim -wow, he thought. Jerome would certainly get a kick out of that one once he was awake.

 **•••**

Bird stared intently down at the desk covered with photos of the symbols Jerome's cult had been painting the city with.

Pulling in a deep breath she slowly released and Jim side-eyed her.

"What is it?" He questioned.

"That-" She pointed to one of photos towards the top of the stack, a pair of pointed eyes with a smile composed of 'HahahaHAhAHA', "Someone spray painted that in the hotel I've been staying at."

"When?" He turned more to face her, but she stayed facing forward.

"Last night." Bird answered, already knowing what he'd say next.

"Before or after I called you?"

"Before." She admitted.

"Are you kidding me?" A jolt of anger, or fear disguised as anger showed in his tone, "Why didn't you say anything? Bird, I… I called to warn you about all of this-"

"I know." She interupted him.

Shaking his head, Jim closed his eyes and got a handle on the outburst, "Look, I know you're mad at me, but these people are just as obsessed with you as Jerome was and we're starting to find out this is something they've been planning for longer than we thought."

"They've got his body." Jim reminded her, "Apparently it's the night of what they're calling 'the awakening' and you were supposed to be there."

Jim and Bullock had found out through their interrogation of the men who'd tried to abduct her that they didn't have any intention of hurting her.

They'd simply planned to take her to the location where Jerome would be waking up, some messed up idea that she'd a present for the one they idolized - a familiar face he'd recognize and one he was fond of.

"So?" There was a child-like stubbornness in both her tone and the single shoulder shrug she'd given.

"Just because you're still mad-" He started to repeat.

"I don't even know what I am anymore, Jim." Bird turned to face him, her face looked unnaturally pale with red rimmed eyes -even though she hadn't been crying.

Roughly, she rubbed her hands over her face leaving her skin looking blotchy and frizzing the hair out that had fallen into her face.

He took a step closer.  
This wasn't just about Mario anymore.  
He knew her well enough to know something else was weighing on her, "What's going on?" He asked.

When she didn't answer, he went with his first guess, "If this is about the the televised interview… you know how the news cycle is here. Something else will happen in a few weeks and no one will remember-"

"Oh my god." Bird breathed, "It's not about the interview."

"Okay." Jim accepted. He waited for her set him straight but she stayed quiet, "Are you going to tell me or should I keep guessing?"

"Oswald and I had a fight."  
Bird opened up.

Jim's eyes scanned her over.  
The last time she'd told him she'd gotten int a fight with her best friend, she'd came home with bruises and scraps and admitted she'd stabbed Oswald with a fork.

But she didn't seem injured; not physically.

She could tell by the look on his face that he didn't understand why she seemed so deeply effected.  
After all, friends fight. And in their years of friendship she'd lost track of the all the arguments and disagreements they'd gotten into.

Even through all of that and the periods of time they'd spent apart along with the times she swore she was done with him, he was still the only constant she'd had in her life since she was a teenager.

It didn't matter how many other friends had come and gone through that time or romantic relationships, he had still been the person she was the closest with.

"I think…" She ran her tongue over her lips and stammered, it was hard to form the words to adequately describe the turmoil this was causing, "I think we're done. I think I'm done with him… and he's done with me and we're just…done. Over."

Jim didn't say anything.  
He didn't was to discredit the way she was feeling, but he'd heard her swear off of Oswald more than once.

"Hey." He reached out his hand on her arm trying to comfort her without overstepping the boundaries of space she'd put between them, "I know it probably feels like that right now, but I'm sure once you both cool of that-"

"No." Her eyes went to the floor, "It's different this time. He's… different. I'm different. It's all just.."  
Her voice trailed off.  
And Jim tried to lighten the conversation by guessing, "Different."

She shot him an un-amused look and he instantly knew he'd said the wrong thing.  
It was just hard to take what she was saying seriously when he'd heard this before, but even so, she was in pain.

"I'm sorry." Jim apologized.

"It's okay." Bird answered, "I mean you never really liked him anyways, right? So you'd probably be happy to know he's out of my life."

"I never said that." He was quick to defend.

Though she wasn't necessarily wrong.  
In truth he didn't care much for her bond with Oswald, though he didn't hold the resentment and jealously over it that Harvey had -had when they were together.

Jim had just accepted it.  
That Oswald had been her best friend and a very big part of her life before he was a part of Bird's life and he didn't think he'd ever live to see that change.

"But that's what you're thinking, isn't it?" She pushed, "That if he's not in my life, then he's no longer a part of _our_ lives and you can't deny that sounds good to you, right?"

Our lives

Despite the fact the statement was jabbed at him like an insult, he was happy she was still thinking of them that way.  
As a single unit. A couple.

Since he'd killed Mario, he had no idea what she considered them to be.  
And the longer she'd stayed separated from him, the more Jim started to lose hope that they could ever go back.

But now she was talking to him, opening up, even if she was hostile.

"I don't want to fight." Jim honestly said.

"Good." Bird laughed with a hopeless in her tone, "Because I'm all out of fight."

Strolling up to a conversation he didn't realize the depth of, Bullock was in all work mode as he informed his partner, "Seems like most of the cult and symbols we've found are concentrated in the narrows and rougher parts of town."

Bird pulled her eyes away from Jim.  
They still needed to talk, to have conversations she wasn't ready for -but it would have to wait.  
He was working a case and that often took more precedence in their lives than she cared for.

"Not surprising." Jim answered Bullock, "Most of these pictures were taken in warehouses and abandoned buildings."

"You think this is how they're communicating?" Bullock asked, "Announce where the next meeting is going to be held and how the group moves around?"

"Duh." Bird answered in a deadpan voice.

"I wasn't asking you, crazy eyes." Bullock retorted with the nickname he'd given her years ago.

"I think we're looking at more than one group." Jim cut in, "Probably multiple chapters."

"Like the Elks?" Bullock could have laughed, "And Dwight's the Grand Poobah or something?"

Bird cleared her throat, the argument between Bullock and Jim fading deeper in the background. She reached up and held onto the base of her neck, having trouble breathing.

She tried to ignore it, to focus on what was going on and what was being said.

Jim was arguing that they could be looking at a cult much bigger than they'd originally thought; Bullock claimed they were looking at fifty whackadoos tops.

It felt like her tongue and throat were swollen, like the air just wasn't getting to where it needed to go.

She didn't know Lucius had joined them at first and was only vaguely aware of the explanation he'd given about the type of power they'd need for reanimation causing a power surge.

He'd already pinned down a location for them and Bullock announced he was off to assemble the strike force.

"Bird?"

Hearing her name refocused her mind and even though her vision was starting to blur around the edges she could see Jim clearly in front of her.

"We're going to stop them." He assured her, "You need to stay here, okay? It's where you'll be the safest…"

His voice trailed off and he looked down to where she was clutching onto his arm.  
There was a confused expression on her face like he was speaking in a language she couldn't understand.

"Bird?"  
He repeated.

"Okay." She nodded, hoping it was an appropriate response to whatever he'd just said.

"I have to go." Jim said, before promising they'd talk more when he got back.

"Go." Bird repeated back.

Jim looked back to where she had a hold of his arm and she followed his gaze.  
Letting go with an apology, she shook her head, feeling dizzy.  
She hadn't even realized she'd grabbed onto him.

He said something else that didn't pierce through the muffled ringing in her ears before he left.

"Bird?" Lucius questioned, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." She answered with a huff, "Why?"

"Well…" He drew out the word, "You seem very short of breath for someone who's standing still."  
He started towards her with his arms out, intending to guide her to a chair, "Perhaps you should sit down."

"I'm fine!" She snapped, smacking his hands away from her and storming off, leaving a terribly confused and rather concerned Lucius behind.

 **•••**

Bird nearly tripped over her own feet in a scramble to get away from the eyes of anyone at the GCPD.  
There was a pain behind her right knee she couldn't discern the cause of; her right foot was tingling like she'd sat on it for too long.

She fell against the closed door she'd reached, her usually steady hands shaking so bad she could barely get the door open.  
Finally she found herself separated from any prying eyes; in a room cluttered with file cabinets.

She leaned against the closest one, pinned her eyes shut and tried to catch her breath.

Only the more she tried to pull air in the more her chest felt tight.  
Like someone had reached inside and pinched her heart; relentless and not letting go.

The tight, pinched feeling grew until it hurt so badly between her shoulder blades she could barely stand.

"Bird?"  
Lee called out as she opened the door to the room and found her gasping for air. A fish out of water.

She'd came out of her office and spotted Bird stumbling down a hallway of the station, luckily she decided to follow her.

"Lee-" Bird choked on the name, coughed and sputtered.  
Her chest hurt so bad she could barely even see.

Immediately recognizing what was going on, Lee rushed towards her, "Bird, you have to try and slow your breathing."

"Lee-" Bird repeated with another gasp as she clutched onto her own chest and sputtered, "I… I think… I think I'm having a heart attack-"

"No you're not." Lee kept her voice steady, "You're having a panic attack. The only way through this is to control your breathing."

"No." Bird gasped.  
Stubborn and argumentative; even in her weakened state.

Between her fits and gasps for air she explained, "I haven't had a panic attack since I was a teenager."

"Well, guess what?" Lee's brows raised, "You're having one right now."

Bird stumbled back against the another filing cabinet and slid down to the floor, cursing the entire time and cringing from the jab of the drawer handles digging into her back.

Lowering down with her, Lee kept her voice calm and steady, "Alright, I want you to take a deep breath."

"I'm trying!" Bird's voice was hoarse.

"Breath in." Lee coached, "For five seconds, I'll count."

Waiting until Bird nodded in agreement, Lee began, "1,2,3,4,5."

"Now hold that breath for 1…2…." Lee soothed, "Now exhale for 5, 4, 3, 2, 1."

It took several tries of breathing to the 5-2-5, but finally Bird's breathing had returned to a somewhat normal state.  
What she was the most thankful for was that the pressure inside her chest had released.

She moved her upper body, trying to stretch out the tense muscles in her back and shoulders as best she could.

"Thank you." Bird quietly said finally looking up to where Lee was still sitting on the floor with her, "I'm okay now. You can go."

"Are you dismissing me?" Lee questioned.

"No. I'm just…" Bird's voice was choppy, her breathing started to hasten again and Lee could see her eyes kept darting to the open door she'd came in through.

"Not used to people seeing you break down?"  
Lee guessed as she got up and shut the door.

"Pretty much." Bird cleared her throat.

Instead of leaving like she'd been told to do, Lee sat back down on the floor, this time further away from Bird since she was no longer actively having a panic attack.

"Hmm." Lee let out a small hum of a breath and leaned her head back against the section of exposed wall she was sitting against.

"What?" Bird asked staring at her.

"I think I needed a minute away from everyone too." She answered without opening her eyes.

"Glad I could be of service." Bird said, her voice was gravely.  
Not from anger, but with still trying to breath normally.

Lee looked at her with a half-smile on her face.

"May I ask what happened that brought that on?" She questioned.

"I don't know." Bird bit down hard on the side of her tongue and shook her head.

When she was a teenager and had panic attacks the course of treatment had been medication prescribed by the doctor -along with keeping a set schedule, making sure to get plenty of sleep and avoiding caffeine.

She'd been off the meds for years now and since Mario's death, she'd barely been sleeping and surviving off strong coffee.

"Probably too much caffeine." Bird added.

Lee nearly snorted, "You could have just said you didn't want to tell me."

"I'm serious." Bird seemed offended, "When I got panic attacks as a teenager, I had to avoid caffeine-"

"Right." Lee agreed, "Stimulants are a trigger for it, sure, but you didn't just spiral into a full blown panic attack because you had one too many coffees."

The room went quiet.

"I've been wanting to talk to you." Lee started by pulling in a deep breath, "To thank you, actually. For being kind to me."

Now it was Bird who laughed, "Kindness? Yeah, that's what I'm known on the streets for. My kindness."

"You can try to laugh and shrug it off, but I mean it. I was in such a dark place that day you came by my house. God…" Lee breathed, "I really gave my blessing to have someone killed."

"Not just someone." Bird corrected, "To have Jim killed."

"I know." Lee looked down, her face taking on a shadow of shame, "I don't know, I mean maybe I gave the okay on it knowing you'd never let it happen? Or at least that's what I'd like to believe? I don't know… but you were right. That day when you came to see me. You really were there to save me. You didn't owe me anything, but you gave me the chance to take what I'd done back."

Lee didn't say it out loud, but the truth was she'd cried herself to sleep that night.  
Not only for her pain and the feelings of losing Mario still being so strong she felt like she'd been cut open, but also at what she'd almost become.

A murderer.  
Even if it wasn't going to be her finger on the trigger, the burden would have still been in her head and heart. Blood still would have stained her hands.

"Yeah, well, you've lost enough." Bird empathized, "I didn't think you deserved to lose yourself too."

"You lost him too." Lee affirmed.  
She'd spent so much time encased in all her own pain that sometimes she had a hard time remembering she wasn't the only one who'd lost family that day.

"I am so sorry." She continued trying to swallow down the lump in her throat, "I just... "  
Nodding towards the door leading out into the rest of the police station, "No one gets it, you know? Almost everyone out there looks at me like I'm a kid throwing a tantrum or something -ever since the day of Mario's funeral-"

Her voice trailed off.  
Bird had been there that day too. Witnessed her very public breakdown; her outcries for Jim to be arrested for Mario's murder.

"It's not fair." Lee cringed as she said it; one of the most childish phrases in the English language.  
Here she was complaining of the way everyone was looking at her since the outburst and she said something like that.

When she looked back to where Bird was sitting she could read the expression on her face.  
 _Life isn't fair_

Lee wanted to tell someone how she was scared that losing Mario was changing her.  
That just earlier that day she'd injected someone who was being interrogated with sodium pentothal to get them to tell the truth.

A move that while effective, was highly illegal -not to mention completely unethical.

Something she'd have probably turned someone else in for doing, but now here she was acting out.

She wasn't even entirely sure why she'd done it, but she'd felt like in that moment she'd taken some of her power back.  
Felt a little less helpless about everything going on in the world around her than she did the day before; and maybe what scared her the most was she liked the way that power felt.

But she didn't.  
She couldn't bring herself to say that out loud.  
So, instead, she pulled in a deep breath and reasoned, "Life isn't fair, I know. But… I always believed that you get back what you put in. And I've always tried to do the right thing…"

"Yeah." Bird cleared her throat, unsure of how Lee helping her through a panic attack had morphed into a counseling session for Jim's ex.  
"I'm don't think those rules apply in Gotham."

Lee let a out sigh, a little too quiet for Bird to hear from where she was sitting.  
Everyone did that, she thought to herself, talked about Gotham like it wasn't just a city, but more as if it were a living, breathing entity.

Maybe they all saw the city as something she didn't -at least not yet.

"Everything is such a mess." Bird ran her fingers through her hair, "I've lived here my whole life and I don't ever remember things being this bad."

Lee watched the other woman's body language, the expression on her face until she pointed out, "You say like you're guilty… like it's your fault?"

"Lately I just keep thinking how things were so much better when Falcone was running the show." Bird admitted with a laugh.

She'd found herself coming to that conclusion and she'd still run her biological father from the city.

Bird looked at Lee with a thoughtful expression.  
Lee shifted under the intensity of her gaze; she felt like she were on display.

"He wanted me to take over when he stepped down. And you know what? I think I'd have been good at it too." Bird's voice lowered as she spoke, like this was a secret she'd been guarding, "Sometimes I think about what I'd do, what decision I'd make if I got a do-over. I could go back."

Lee stared back at her.  
She could see it now; this was part of the allure that was Bird; sharing something that made them feel bonded, whether it was a secret or not, she had a way of making it feel like it was a privilege.

She didn't want anything from her, Lee couldn't even say she'd ever really wanted to be friends with her and yet here she was being drawn in, unable to stop it even while being entirely aware of what was happening.

Bird had stopped talking very abruptly, a cherry picked space in the conversation to let the room fall into silence.  
To leave the other person wanting, no, _needing_ to know more.

It seemed so intentional, yet Lee wasn't sure that Bird even realized she'd done it.

"Would you?" Lee couldn't help but ask, "Make the same decision?"

"I don't know." Bird said. Her shoulders slouched with a shrug and Lee was struck by just how human Bird looked when she admitted, "I just wanted to be happy."

It sounded so simple, but Bird had wondered at times if she was even capable of it.  
It wasn't something that just seemed to come naturally.

Instead of a feeling that accompanied the good times, she'd felt more like happiness had been some unreachable destination. Something she'd been trying to work towards but never quite got there.

"I think that's what we all want-" Lee empathized, barely getting the words out before the door to the room opened.

"Thought I saw you come in here." One of the uniformed officers said to Lee before he glanced over at Bird and then between them with a questioning look.

"Yes?" Lee asked as she got to her feet from where she'd been sitting.

"They got there in time." He explained, "Jerome's body should be here in a few minutes. They need you in your office."

"Okay." Lee felt her lab coat pocket for her phone, wondering if anyone had tried to call her.

"He's faceless." The officer couldn't resist being the first one to give the news.

"Wait, what?" Lee became much more focused on the conversation, "Faceless?"

"Yeah." He looked a little too eager, "One of his psychotic followers-"  
He drew a circle around his face with his finger while making a sawing like noise with his mouth.

Lee stared back at him with a stunned expression and he nodded.

"Hey!" Bird called after him as he started to leave the room, when he turned back she asked, "Is Jim back yet?"

"No." He shook his head, "He and Bullock went after the face-thief."

Lee turned back to where Bird was just starting to stand up.  
"You okay?" She questioned.

Bird leaned over while in the process of dusting her jeans off as she peered back at her from under her lashes and repeated the same question back, "Are you okay?"

Lee pulled in a deep breath before slowly exhaling with a nod of solidarity.  
She wasn't okay.  
None of them were.

 **•••**

Bird pulled her phone from her pocket as she walked through the police station, when she saw it was Oswald calling she abruptly ignored the call and tucked her phone away.

She had no doubt he was calling to apologize.  
She imagined that her now ex-best friend had cooled off since the interview earlier that morning and had now realized how terribly he'd treated her.

She started to reach for her phone again but stopped and took a moment to remind herself that they were over.  
That for quite a while now, he'd been acting more foe than friend to her and hadn't been acting like the Oswald she'd have laid her life down for without hesitation.

Like Ivy did while tending to her plants, Bird needed to do the same with her life. Cut out of the bad parts before it killed her.

"No." She said aloud under her breath.  
They were done. Officially over as far as she was concerned and no amount of apologizing from him would make this right.

She'd already made the decision to cut him out of her life.  
Amputate their friendship like an infected limb that would eventually kill the whole body.

Doing her best to push thoughts of Oswald from her mind, Bird continued on her search for Lucius.  
After all, he'd witnessed the very beginning of the panic attack she'd had and she wanted to assure him she was okay.

The last thing she needed was word getting back to Bruce and Alfred that she might be coming apart at the seams.

A few more days… maybe another week or two at her hotel and she'd get herself pulled together.  
Or at least that's what she'd been telling herself.

She just needed to find Lucius and convince him she was fine and there was nothing to worry about; plus she vaguely remembered being somewhat rude to him and maybe even slapping his arms away from her.  
Thought she couldn't be sure.

Everything from before the panic attack until she'd started to come out of it was hazy.  
A fuzzy memory.  
Inaudible noises.  
Pictures blurred in water.

As it was, she was still trying to remember what Jim had said to her before he left the police station.  
She couldn't remember, but knowing Jim, he'd more than likely told her to stay there.

When her search for Lucius didn't yield any results, she headed towards the hallway where Lee's office was located. The cold storage room was also that way and she considered maybe Lucius was where they'd brought Jerome's body.

Just as Bird reached the doorway she felt her phone buzz again. This time from a voicemail.

She pulled her phone from her pocket and started to play the message before she could stop herself.

The first thing she heard on the recording was the sound of glass shattering.  
Anxiety flared up but quickly settled when she heard Oswald's voice.  
"Nothing?!" Her best friend's voice was painfully shrill blaring through the small speaker on her phone as she clutched it too tightly to her ear.

In the background she could hear Gabe's voice, "Not at Tommy Bones or any of The Duke's hideouts."

"Shhh!"  
Oswald dismissed before yelling into the phone, "Bird, Bird?"

Seeming to remember the call had went to voicemail, the urgency in his voice increased tenfold.

"Bird, listen to me. They took him! Someone took Ed!" He gasped for air, "You need to help me find him. Call… everyone! They have him somewhere! Call me back as soon as you get this. He's in danger! Once we have Ed back; we'll kill them! We'll kill them all-"

Bird didn't bother listening to the rest of the message.  
What part of they're through didn't he understand? Or was he just so distracted by everything else that morning that he didn't even hear her.

Or maybe he hadn't take the break-up seriously.  
Jim didn't seem to believe that Bird had really called it quits with her best friend for a second.

Slamming her phone down on the metal exam table in front of her, she rubbed her eyes with her free hand.  
When she picked her phone back up she saw something wet on it.

Red.  
It was blood.

Her brows lowered and her gaze moved over to where there was more drops of blood and a large roll of gauze.

Her senses prickled to the danger around her.  
Something she hadn't picked up on sooner because she'd been to distracted by Oswald.

Damn it, she thought to herself, her ex-best friend was probably still going to be the death of her, even if they weren't talking.

The click of the door shutting behind her seemed to be amplified in the otherwise silent room.

Bird spun around to see the person who'd trapped her.  
Who was now holding her at gun point from the service weapon he'd taken from the officer he'd killed.

Her eyes widened.  
Missing his face or not, Bird instantly recognized him.

Green eyes peering out at her from between layers of poorly patch-worked bloodstained gauze; a mess of ginger hair mostly standing on end.

"Jerome-"  
His name left her lips with the last of her breath.  
Like the air had been knocked out of her.

Jerome narrowed his eyes at her as he readjusted his grip on the gun.

"Jerome?"  
He repeated back.  
His voice was deeper -scratchier than she remembered.

Bird's brows lowered.  
Not that she'd expected to ever cross paths with him again, but if she had she'd have expected him to more of a reaction to seeing her.

It was only moments before that he'd woke up, breathed the breath of life once again.  
And proceeded to promptly murder the cop who'd been in the room.

Then he'd managed to find some gauze to try and wrap his head up.  
He had no idea what had happened to him but the air hitting the open wound was surprisingly painful.

He'd just finished with that when someone had walked into the room.  
His first thought had been the same as with the cop; kill.  
But then he'd paused, there was something familiar about the brunette.

He couldn't recall her name; he couldn't even remember his own name until he'd heard it from her.

"Yeah…" His head cocked to the side, "Jerome. Sounds about right."

Bird's eyes cut over to the door.  
From the way he was staring at her, she was quickly catching onto the fact that while his body might have been reanimated and was up walking around -that didn't mean his brain had caught up yet.

Maybe his motor skills we're sluggish too?  
She looked down to the dead body of the officer on the floor and realized apparently not delayed enough, seeing as how Jerome had won that fight.

Bird let out a defeated sigh -so much for trying to make a run for it.

 **•••**

* * *

 **A/N - Thank you to: AGBreads, SmellYourScentForMiles, Shadow knight1121, HarleyIsQueenx, Brooke, Adela, Katniss789, Havana, Iamskittles, Raging Raven and to the Guests who all left a review**

 ** **I hope you all liked the chapter. Thank you for reading!  
I know it took too long to get this chapter finished and posted -but hopefully it was worth the wait.  
And with any luck the next won't take near as long. ****

****I'd really appreciate it if you'd take the time and leave a review to let me know you're still reading and enjoying the story! ^_^****


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